Fated
by 3H
Summary: A/H:What comes from a teenage 1night stand between best friends?Ness fights the feelings she develops,for the father of her child,but Jake's deeply in love w/her,always has been.Will they ever be a happy family? Or will Ness ruin their happily ever after?
1. Old Friends

_"The first symptom of love in a young man is shyness; the first in a woman, it's boldness." Victor Hugo._

**Chapter ONE –Old Friends-**

August 2003

The rain drops that were collected on the windows, were gliding backwards due to the speed of the new car Renesmee's father had just bought. The new car scent was strong and interfering with the fresh scent of fresh rain that she loved so much. She couldn't say she minded, she was glad that after fourteen years of driving a used 1985 Volvo 240, her father was able to buy a brand new 2003 Volvo s40. A new car was something her parents had to put off since they had Renesmee in their Junior year of high school. Edward and Isabella Cullen made numerous sacrifices for their daughter. They finished up high school and moved out to Seattle so Edward could pursue his doctorate. Bella spent the days with Renesmee, while Edward was medical school during the day. At night her father would come home as her mother went off to work at the hospital, her Grandfather Carlisle once worked at. A night clerk only received minimum wage, so for most of Renesmee's life they lived simply and honestly, they did struggle. And even though Edward's family had money, both of them were to prideful to ask for help.

Thinking back her life had always been full of love, it was the new pair of shoes for third grade that she never received. When her father was offered the job at the hospital, in her parent's home town of Forks, he took it. He was offered a huge bonus that helped pay for the brand new car and the new pair of shoes her mother had bought her. She knew now that her life would be different. No more reusing her backpack for the sixth year in a row, or not being able to pay for hot lunches. They wouldn't live in a crowded apartment any longer or take cold showers. They would be living in a three house home, with her own bathroom, with a porch and a backyard. All her family lived in Forks, which meant she would get to see them whenever she wanted, that was the biggest perk to her father's new job. The new money was nice, that didn't bother Ness much, but she wished they stayed in Seattle, where all her friends were, where she was comfortable, where her family had made a home out of nothing.

Ness was strewed across the backseat, nibbling on an apple, bored out of her mind. Earlier, she attempted to fall asleep but she was too busy singing and humming along to the music coming from the radio. One thing was, her father listened to good music so she didn't have to use her iPod this entire trip. Fogging condensation was beginning to dry up on the windows. Ness raised a leg and drew a heart with her sock covered toe.

"We're here!" Bella exclaimed excitedly. Her shreik, startled Renesmee causing her to jump up to peer out the car window. Ness took her sleeve wiping away the fog, to see out the car window. The car ride from Seattle was not as long as Renesmee assumed it would be. Thousands if not millions of evergreens zoomed by. Even if she was three and half hours from Seattle, it seemed to be a world away.

Ness rubbed her face in frustration, annoyed by the fact that her parents had moved her away from the life she knew

. She wouldn't verbally complain, her body language would do the trick. Renesmee Carlie Cullen was like any other teen she was moody and pissed off at the world. Recently, since she entered her teens she had a hot and cold attitude hating her parents one minute and loving them the next. Edward didn't make the same fuss Bella did, he knew Ness was pulling away from them because she was coming out of her adolescence. Edward learned to accept it, and Bella was still Today, Edward and Isabella Cullen wanted to make her life miserable, they were out to get her or so she told herself.

Pulling up to a tiny red shack, Bella declared, " Billy didn't expect us to arrive an hour early, I don't think he's home."

Remembering her mother said, they were going to see an old friend, Nessie rolled her eyes and slumped back down in her seat. She wasn't in the mood to meet new people, she wasn't in the mood to put her room together when she got home, heck she wasn't in the mood to be living.

Edward leaned over the center console and kissed her mother. Ness pointed her index finger in her mouth making a fake puking noise in her head.

Edward asked "When did your dad say he was going to be here?"

"He gets off his shift in an hour. Let's go see if Billy's even here." Bella turned around to her daughter questioning, " You coming with us?"

"Let her stay in the car," Edward said reading Ness's mind. She didn't want to get out of the car just to see of someone was home. Chances are no one was. Turning around her mother eyed her, adding, "Ness if someone's home you're coming inside."

"Fine," she huffed crossing her arms. The only thoughts that came to her mind was how miserable school would be on Monday. She's never had to make friends before, she's had the same friend since Kindergarten and now she was going to be thrown into the shark tank defenseless.

Gazing out the window, her parents walked to the front door of the red house hand in hand, giggling. After being married eleven years, she couldn't believe her parents still acted like teenagers. "Ugh, I'll never act like that," she muttered to herself.

The sight sickened her, every minute off every day they said and expressed how much they loved one another. And until sex ed last year, she never fully understood the noises coming from her parent's bedroom. The thought sickened her, she knew they only did it to annoy her.

Ness focused up to the sky to see the dense clouds, wanting to release rain. She squinted as a few unidentifiable birds flew overhead landing in a nearby tree. Turning her attention back to her surroundings, a small garage was out to the side of the small house and encircled by a thick forest . Both the barn and house were painted in the same barn red color, that she liked, she'd never seen a house this color. Scanning the street she saw that there were no close neighbors. _This defiantly isn't like Seattle,_ she thought to herself. She continued expecting the outside world, when she came across her mother glaring at her, curling her index finger at her. Sighing Ness put her shoes on and climbed out of the car obeying her mother's order.

Walking along the moist ground, she shoved her hands in her thin sweater regretting not dressing warmer. During her short march to the front door, she heard the sputter of a failed attempt to start a dirt bike coming from the garage. Continuing to walk, she was a rubbernecker staring at the garage wondering who was in there. The closer she got the her parents the more visible a young boy became. He was thin, but tall and had dark brown-black hair that reached his shoulders. All she saw was this boy's back but she hoped he was cute.

"Nessie, do you remember Billy?" Bella asked reaching out to her daughter draping one arm around her daughters shoulder, proudly showing her off.

Giving an apologetic smile Nessie responded, "I'm sorry I don't."

The paraplegic older man looked up to Ness chuckling and countering, "That makes sense the last time I saw you, you were just outta diapers."

Renesmee took into consideration what her mother had said earlier about her grandpa and Billy being friends. Trying to strike up a conversation and not make this meeting awkward Ness replied, "You're grandpa Charlie's friend right?"

"I am and you're as beautiful as your mother."

Politely Ness retorted, "Thank you, sir."

"How about you meet my son? Jacob!" Billy shouted out to the garage where the boy was. "Jacob get over here I have some old friends I want you to meet!"

The boy jogged over from the garage to the front door, with his hair straight getting disheveled in the wind. As he got closer he smoothed down his hair and his features became clearer. He had copper skin and his light caramel eyes were sucking Renesmee in. She frowned and cocked her head, he was absolutely the cutest boy Ness think she ever saw. It was a feeling she wasn't familiar with a feeling she didn't understand and wouldn't until later on in her life.

Billy smirked at his son, introducing the old friends, "Jake, this is Edward and Bella and their daughter Renesmee."

Jacob shook each of their hands and stepped back as Renesmee went to place her hand in his. He didn't want her to feel his grease covered sweaty hand, so he only gave Renesmee a polite nod. Ness felt a bit offended that he didn't want to shake her hand but she got over it and offered a warm smile. When he quickly looked away from her, her smile fell into a glower.

Bella asked Jake, "You don't remember me do you?"

"Nope." He shrugged shyly, "Sorry."

Instantly he noticed Bella had the same colored eyes of Renesmee and the same shaped face and prominent cheekbones. Edward interrupted Jacob's train of thought, examining the young teenagers. "Do you two remember one another?"

"No," Ness said and Jake shook his head. Jacob was mildly intimidated by this man, that he apparently knew. Jacob felt like Edward was staring at him as if he was on trial. Maybe, he only felt that way because he thought his daughter was beautiful and already developed a crush on her in a matter of seconds.

"Well," Bella grinned at her daughter and the stiff young man, "Nessie Jacob's the one gave you the nickname."

"Oh, thanks for that," she rolled her eyes raising a brow to him. Though, he didn't give a noticeable response off any kind.

Then Bella starting gushing about that past, "You two were so cute. Jacob it was at your fourth birthday party, Ness you were two and before we left," she paused looking over at Jake heaving a marveling sigh, "Jacob you gave her a kiss and hug and said, 'Bye Nessie,' it was the cutest thing ever."

Coughing, Edward interfered with his wife's stroll down memory lane, "Bella I think you're embarrassing them."

Once again Edward read his daughters thoughts, when she looked at him he gave a wink informing her that he was on his daughter's side. Renesmee wrinkled her nose with a silent chuckle as Billy said, "How about you both get to know each other while we catch up? Jake, why don't you go show her your bike?"

"Alright, come on," He uttered walking off without her. She took off trailing behind him. Staring at the back of his head, she wondered why he didn't like her, why he was being so shy and stand offish? Biting at the inside of her cheek she became nervous, was she going to be able to make friends with this boy? Hopefully, she could befriend him before school had begun, even if he didn't go to the same school.

The further away they walked the fainter their parent's voices became. Particularly, Bella and Billy's.

"Oh Billy he's gotten so big."

"Can you believe he's going to be fifteen this year?"

"Not at all, Ness just turned thirteen."

Running to catch up with him, Ness decided to break the silence, "I know, I know you but I don't remember you at all."

"Me neither," he said not turning to her, "You guys always send me birthday cards though."

"You're dad always sends me cash," she responded but he didn't say anything back.

They proceeded to walk until they reached the garage. Straight away Jacob began picking up, the unorganized garage. Wanting her not to think he was a slob he started with the tools placing them in his small red tool box.

He was ignoring her and it was hurting Renesmee's feelings. If this was how things were going to be on Monday at school, she wasn't going to have any friends. After silent awkwardness Ness finally spoke up, "So this is your garage?"

He nodded turning to look at her. _Finally! _She thought. "My bike," he said patting it, then pointing at the old VW Rabbit, " My mom's old car. If I want to drive it I have to fix it up."

"Cool you already have a car!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah," he smirked at her giddiness. Sneaking a peek into the front seat Ness asked, "What's your mom drive now?"

"My mom died when I was little," he acknowledged her and noticed her become stiff at his comment. Before she asked any questions he changed the subject, " What grade are you gonna be in?"

Stepping closer to him she said, "Seventh."

"Oh," he replied, putting a full gas can under the work bend near the tiny dust covered window of the garage. When she didn't instantly reply he stated, " I'm going into eighth. Do you know what school you're going to?"

Fidgeting with the break on the dirt bike she watched him pick up the tool box and set it on a shelf next to the work bench.

She responded, "My mom said the tribal school on the reservation, I think that's what it's called. I'm not sure why, my house is in Forks ."

Bella planned to send Ness to school with Jacob. She just hoped they would hit it off today and become friends and maybe this would help the adjustment to a new school easier.

"That's my school," he stated overly excited.

Renesmee noticed the burst of energy that went through him, it was the first real emotion she saw from him. However, the thought of school still made her anxious. "Are the teacher's nice?"

"Sure, sure," she flagged her off as if it was no big deal. And to him it wasn't, he had friends and knew about all the teachers "You'll have me in the same class," he responded staring at her messing with the brakes of his bike.

When she noticed him eyeing her hand, she removed it and tucked it beneath her armpit.

"I will?" she perked up, slightly glad that this guy would be in her class. At least she would know one person.

"Yeah, the classes are small in La Push so they stick two together," he said finally warming up to her, "Eighth graders and seventh graders have to share a class."

They got to know one another over the Saturday afternoon. After church on Sunday, Renesmee's Grandpa Charlie had a big welcome home barbeque for the returning family of three. That day Jacob and Renesmee were inseparable. Jacob talked to about his friends and she explained how life was different from Seattle. They went on about the television shows they liked and the music they listened to. Bella watched as the two teens argued over who was the best band in the world. At the end of the BBQ they exchanged numbers. Jacob called that night a bit panicky but she didn't mind him calling, she was relieved he didn't hate her. They talked about where they would meet at school that night. Bella overheard and offered to pick Jacob up for school instead of him having to walk.

Monday morning rolled around and Renesmee put on new shoes and an old pair of clothes. She wasn't going to get any news one's until Friday when her aunt Alice, the infamous shopper, took her. Pulling up to Jacob's house, Bella honked and he climbed in the back seat. Instantly he noticed the new car aroma. It was something he never smelled before, like Ness he grew up poor and was still underprivileged but it wasn't a big deal, most the people on the res were.

"Good morning Jacob," Bella greeted.

"Morning Mrs. Cullen," he started.

"Bella," she corrected him.

Finishing his original greetings he corrected himself as Bella insisted. "Bella. Morning Nessie."

From the front seat she turned and said, "Hi, Jacob."

After they got out of the car, Jake thanked Bella for the ride and began walking toward the entrance of the familiar school. The sight of it didn't even phase him, but to Ness it was frightening. She was petrified and froze on the damp sidewalk, unable to let her feet take her forward. What if no one likes her, what if she didn't get A's like she did in Seattle?

Jacob fixed the backpack from his shoulder and began to speak, when his new friends voice didn't respond to a question of his, he swiveled himself turning back round to look for Renesmee. He found her where Bella had dropped her off. Trotting back to her, his boots made a splattering noise under his feet from last night's fallen ran.

"Hey Nessie, you okay?"

Sucking in a breath, she muttered, "I'm kinda scared I don't know anyone."

"You know me," he grinned. With those words, and his hand on her shoulder Renesmee felt at ease. She could care less if she made friends, she had Jacob. Then her mind wondered to next year. How would she deal?

Becoming pessimistic she said, "What about when you go to high school next year?"

"You'll make friends."

When they made it the front doors, she paused. He turned to her noticing she was still visibly apprehensive about being the new kid in school. Playing with the straps on her book bag she stared at the ground. Running a hand through her wavy hair she brought her eyes up to Jacob, who was studying her.

"Hey, will you stay with me today?" she asked biting her lip.

"Yeah, my dad said since it's the first day I have to watch you like you were my baby sister."

And he did, he stayed at her side the entire day and the rest of the year.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

Well here it is, my first all human Jake/Ness story. THis is just a little intro to how they meet. Depending on my feedback, reviews and hits I'll either continue this story or delete it. I guess you get to decide.

**Chapter 2 Preview**

_THREE YEARS LATER..._

_"Jacob for once can't you just be happy for me? __You always do that."_

_"What?"_

_"Every time a guy shows interest in me you pick him apart, tell me his faults and mistakes. You always tell me what's wrong with the guy."_

_" I've yet to be wrong."_

_"Just cuz you don't like him doesn't mean I'm not going to give him a chance."_

_"I'm looking out for you."_

_"Well I don't' need you to look out for me, alright?"_

_"Too bad, you don't need another asshole boyfriend using you. I've never been wrong about your ex's."_

_"No, but you're wrong about Nahuel."_


	2. Best Friends

"Friends find the sweetest sense of happiness comes from simply being together."

**Chapter TWO –Best Friends-**

Three Years Later…

Though Renesmee had made friends with several of Jake's friends, a majority of them moved up to ninth grade with him, only leaving her with Seth and Claire. She suffered through her eighth grade year without Jacob. She missed him, and he missed her. Toughing it out throughout a school day would result in seeing Jake after school, so she got by. His talent placed him on varsity his freshman year, in both football and baseball. And because of this, unfortunately it kept them apart. Somehow, they managed to keep their friendship alive when they went to two different schools and schedules. Both gave it their full effort to be in one another's lives. He'd show up to her house after football practice, she's go to all his games and they had their weekends together.

To take up some time she, joined ASB and tried out for the schools volleyball team her freshman year. Luckily she made the team and was elected class president. With those things filling her time she wouldn't have to wait around for Jacob. Returning the support Ness gave Jacob his freshman year, he was regularly routing for her at her scrimmages, when his own practices and games didn't interfere. They were still undividable, even through Renesmee's relationships. Mike would become jealous when Renesmee would cancel plans to be with Jacob and after a year, he had enough and broke up with her, leaving her crushed. Of course, Jacob was at her side to pull her together.

In her sophomore year she had two other boyfriends, Demetri and Alec, who disliked not only her lack of sex drive but her friendship with Jacob. Not wanting to give up, she continued to date in the beginning of her junior year with a senior that was captain of the track team, Felix. They only lasted five months, no one knew why they broke up but the gossip was as soon as he got into her pants he was finished with her. Then, that story somehow snow balled into a fabricated story that she was indeed a nympho and to easy. As soon as that word got out all her ex-boyfriends jumped on the band wagon, saying it was true and that she broke up with them because they didn't live up to her sexual standards. Jacob heard the gossip and was never sure what to believe. He was the guy that would talk about anything and be completely honest with Renesmee but this subject was too touchy, so he never brought it up in hopes that she would speak of it on her own. The news of her being a slut devastated her but she was content, she had her Jacob and only a year and a half of high school left.

The revving of the bike resonated in Nessie's ears. Before leaving her room, she grabbed her helmet and declined a sweater, since it was oddly warm in Forks for mid May. Running out of the small cottage, Ness had the flat black helmet in her hand, that Jake he had bought her for her seventeenth birthday earlier this year, and her canvas messenger bag in the other. An oversized gray shirt clung to her chest making the bouncing beneath her shirt very noticeable as she jogged. Jacob caught himself thinking of her in an improper erotic way.

She threw the bag over her shoulders, stopped on the flagstone step and fixed her shoe. Straightening herself back up, she dashed to the street side and shouted, "Hurry, hurry!"

Managing to throw the helmet on in her sprint, she hoped on the bike. They knew when he choose to ride his bike to school they'd have to be quick, before her father would stop them. Wrapping her arms around Jacob's muscular abdomen she rested her head on his back Jacob sped off down the surprisingly dry asphalt road.

Edward didn't find the motorcycle Jacob had very suitable or safe for his daughter to ride to school on and it wouldn't be the first time he stopped both of them and took them to school his self. Even though Edward had come to like Jacob, this was the one thing he disliked about the boy. After the dozens of times Edward found Renesmee being dropped off on the death machine, he offered to buy Renesmee a car. To his disappointment, she declined when she said she wouldn't use the car, Jacob would pick her up anyways. His next plan of action was to speak with Jacob himself, since his daughter was being defiant and grounding her never did the trick. He had one discipline strategy that he thought of using, it might be the only thing that worked to get through to Ness. After thinking it over, Ness's father didn't have the heart to separate Renesmee from her bestfriend, he couldn't even imagine being forced to be separated from his wife. It would be hell.

It seemed odd that Jacob back tracked driving up to Forks only to bring Ness back to La Push for school. However, he didn't mind, he insisted on taking Ness. After two years of Bella driving him to school, he figured he'd return the kindness.

Parking his bike in his designated spot, he jumped off. Bringing his hands to Ness's waist he helped lift her from the seat of the bike. Removing the helmet, she ran her fingers through her wavy hair, not caring much what it looked like. The shirt drooped across Ness's shoulders, exposing a black bra strap and her tight skinny jeans only showed off her fit legs. The sight only excited Jacob. He was tired of being attracted to her, when she clearly didn't seem to care about him much further than a friend. As he removed his helmet he set it on the seat of the bike and rubbed his hands over her face. Jacob was disappointed in himself, he always let his perverted thoughts go too far. This wasn't the time to be thinking about his friends in inappropriate ways, especially when she was standing less than arms length from her.

"You?" she stuttered, " You cut your hair!" she exclaimed in shock.

" You like it?" Jake wondered picking his helmet up and started to stroll along side Renesmee toward the entrance of the high school.

In a disappointed tone she replied, "Yeah."

"What?" he asked grabbing her helmet.

She lifted her shoulders stating, " I have nothing to make fun of you for anymore. Your long girly hair was the only target I had."

Chuckling he said, "Sorry 'bout that."

Biting her lip she tried to hid a smirk and she raised her eyebrows making wrinkles in her forehead. Jacob pushed his brows together wondering what she was thinking. She didn't leave him to ponder that for much longer. Quickly, she mockingly stated, "Maybe I could confirm those rumors that you're on the 'roids."

He stopped dead in his tracks and Ness continued to walk not looking back at him. He lifted his helmet pointing at her defensively affirming, "You know I'm not."

She rotated making her way back to him, grabbed his bicep and said, "How else do you explain these muscles?"

"Working out just might have something to do with it."

"Na, it's the steroids," she replied walking away.

Becoming serious he caught up with her and pleaded, "Ness don't mess with me, if that gets back to my coach, I could get kicked off the team, maybe suspended."

"What does it matter, you don't do it. Plus, you already have a scholarship for football."

"Maybe I don't want to play football, maybe I want a scholarship for baseball."

Opening the door for Jacob Ness blocked him from entering. Standing on her tippy toes she said, "I won't say anything." After cocking her head and giving a smile she slightly slapped his face with light taps and added, "I've only shot down those rumors."

She stepped into the hallway of the school and Jacob hollered, " Thanks Ness."

He was grateful she was a good enough friend to set the rumors straight but then guilt hit him when he didn't do the same for her. To him something as intimate as sex shouldn't be talked about or made fun of. It was something two people deeply in love shared. Yes, he had sex before with his ex, Leah. The two were together when he was a freshman and she was a sophomore. He thought they were in love, but eventually he realized she filled the void where Nessie should be. Later on Leah came clean, saying that she used Jacob to fill a void of her own. Mutually they called it quits and carried on. Jacob made a promise to himself that he would try to date but always be there if Renesmee wanted him. Gradually he gave up on dating all together and lived his life around his best friend.

"I still can't believe you cut your, hair," she stated battling with the combination lock of Jacob's locker. Despite delay Ness got the dang thing open. Putting her hand out, she waited for Jacob to place the helmet in her hand, so she could shove it in his locker. Not even thinking, he handed the helmets over where she shoved them into his locker, that was designated for their helmets, jackets and sports gear. Her locker on the other hand was brimming with their textbooks and notebooks.

"What?" Jake asked catching Ness staring at him.

She didn't want to sound weird and say, "You look freaking hot!" So she informed while shaking her head, "I still can't believe you cut your hair."

Leaning his back against the lockers he replied, "Since I'm half way through senior year and you've been begging me to cut it forever, I thought, 'why not?'"

Struggling with the combination lock on her locker, she pounded the cold metal with her fist in frustration. Jacob grabbed the lock from her hand and cracked the combination with no problems. This was only proof that Renesmee and Jacob were so close that they knew each other's locker combinations and kept things in one another's lockers.

He held onto her lock while she opened her metal cabinet. She rummaged in the organized bin and sighed, "Now, you're too perfect Jacob. Ugh!"

Rotating himself, he leaned his shoulder against the locker, twirling the combination lock in his large fingers. Being sarcastic he responded, "I know."

Narrowing her eyes to her much taller friend, she collected Jacob's things out of her locker and shoved them into his chest, saying, "Shut up. "

Her irritation made Jacob laugh. As soon as she gathered her history book, she slammed the locker in mock anger snatching her combination lock from Jacob. Fastening the lock, Ness teased him saying," I hate you."

The bell rang, advising them that they should get to class. Making their way to their classes, Jacob ran his fingers through his hair asking, "You want to go to lunch today?"

"I'm not sure, I was going to go with Nahuel."

To Jacob this was strange, he didn't know Ness was friends with the Brazilian ladies man. That guys annoying accent came from up the hall where Ness's class was. Nahuel shouted, "Renesmee come on!"

Ness's vision followed the voice and turned back to Jacob. Ness nudged his arm saying, "I'll see you later."

Blankly he replied, "Bye."

Jacob watched her walk away and get lost in the crowd of scattering students. Along the way she thought about what her lunch plans were, would she go with Jacob or Nahuel?

He waited until she was completely out of his sight, then went to go through his class room doors. As he was waiting for the other students ahead of him to enter, he heard Ness shouting, "Oh, Jacob!"

She came back running towards him saying, "I might… be feeling sick, in fourth period at eleven ten. Would you like to take me to Sully's.? I need some burger therapy."

"Is that where you want to go?" he chuckled, glad she ditched Nahuel for him. This was an activity they hadn't done in over three months. Sometimes, they'd leave fourth period earlier and have a two hour long lunch and come back by their fifth period P.E. class.

"Yeah, I'm craving it," she smiled and he had the same grin.

She couldn't blow off Jacob, he was her best friend, the one person she's counted on and if he thought they were going to lunch together, they'd go to lunch together. She just enjoyed her time with him, that's all that mattered not where they went or what they did, she just wanted to hang out with him.

"Actually," she interrupted their staring contest, " it doesn't matter, I like spending time with you, so where ever. "

"Ness!" Nahuel called her causing Jacob to roll his eyes wanting to walk up to him and punch him in the face. The jealousy was getting out of control just like his dirty thoughts were.

"I better go don't want to be late for History," she loudly whispered. She ran back towards her class room.

"Meet me in the parking lot!" Jacob howled to her.

"As always!" she yelled hurrying down the hall. She nearly loses her footing but catches herself from falling.

Jake snickered at her. Somehow whenever she left him he caught himself smiling, grateful they were friends and his heart aching wishing he could call her his own.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**: Okay my chapter preview doesn't match this chapter but it'll be up in chapter three. Also I'm sorry about my grammar I didn't even try to edit last chapter or this one, I just wanted to hurry and post for ya'll. -By the amount of feed back this story will continue, and still waiting on more reviews for my other story, Last Sunrise and Gravity. If you ahven't read it, check it out. -I started this story with when they first met just to see how they met and now in this chapter you can see how their friendship has evolved. I skipped ahead a few years because it would get boring watching them be just friends. I know some people want to see their friendship, but this story is mainly about the pregnancy and child. SO we'll see what happens. Review, Review, Review!

**SPECIAL THANKS TO:**

Adia.M, SophieHadfield, luv2beloved, Patty(heart)cake, lily, Angela T14, russetfurbur, FadingEmotion, BlackPhoenix-2009, Volturirules, twilightlover1698, denica, darkgoddess 48 all for reviewing, favorite-ing either my as a author or the story and putting me on alerts. Thanks so much I may have not thanked everyone because I'm trying to seperate my other story reviews from this one. So thanks.


	3. Fight

"A simple friend thinks the friendship over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight."

**Chapter THREE –Fight-**

The friendly duo came back from their extended lunch, just as the warning bell rang for their fifth period. They didn't plan on returning to school so late but Jake was kind enough to stop by his house and pick up the Volkswagon. Thus, since Jacob didn't have baseball today, when he dropped Ness off this afternoon, she wouldn't get in trouble with her father. Jacob did this constantly but today he was thinking he understood why her father got upset and forbade it . He couldn't put Ness in danger anymore, that's why her father disliked the bike, it could kill Ness and Jacob wasn't willing to put her at risk any longer. With those thoughts, he knew his maturity was almost full grown.

Jacob was growing and maturing and understanding things in an adult life. Things were so much clearer, life held so much more meaning outside of school. He knew his love for Ness wasn't a joke, even if he was eighteen and still in high school. There was no doubt in his mind that he was stable with himself. Now, he just had to wait until Renesemee found herself, before he could even think of starting a relationship with her. She was still lost in adolescense, and he'd have to wait for her to catch up with him. Yes, he knew who he was, he knew his future plans. He would go to school on his scholarship and figure out a career, swoon Ness, marry her and start a family. They'd live any where their careers took them, whether that be home in La Push, Seattle or clear across the world. He didn't care, as long as he couls be with her. He felt his plan was set in stone.

"Six-fifty!" Coach Smith shouted giving Jacob and Renesmee their time.

Finishing their mile run, Ness became nauseated from the double bacon cheeseburger she had consumed for lunch. Pulling off to the side of the track, they made room for the other runners to pass by.

Leaning over, with a hand on her waist Ness complained, "Ugh, I feel sick. I shouldn't have ate that burger."

"You hardly ate half of it," Jake's voice squeaked causing a silent chuckle to come from Ness.

"So," she responded standing straight. Jacob took the hem of his tank shirt and brought it up to wipe the sweat from his brow. Ness couldn't help but gaze down at his muscular abdomen, assessing how much he had changed since they first met.

The first time she met him he was tall lanky and had long locks of jet black, now he was more refined, absolutely handsome, muscular and had shorter hair , that complimented his attractiveness. Before he could catch her, she looked away searching for a trash can to vomit in and added with a heavy pant, " I still feel sick."

"You've always had a weak stomach," he stated a matter-of-factly. And it was true, whenever she became nervous or anxious she wouldn't feel better unless she spewed.

Both of them were breathing heavily from their mile run, but Ness was having more trouble than Jake. Her belly was seeking revenge on her. That much grease before a mile run didn't settle well, it was common sense. She couldn't understand why Jacob didn't regret eating his burger, the way she did. And on top of that he finished off half her burger and the remaining fries.

Jacob took a hold of her wrist and put the palm flat on her head, "It's easier to breath if you out your hands over your head."

"Jacob and Renesmee! I know you two finished but keep walking the track!" Coach Jones yelled.

Ness began to walk the track with both hands over her head, hunting for a sense of relief from her shortness of breath. "Hard ass," Jake mumbled, setting off a tiny giggle from Ness.

"We finished our dang mile," she grumbled, " Why can't he let us just sit down?"

"Cuz he's a hard ass," he retorted sarcastically triggering another snigger from Ness. He was good at making her laugh.

"Maybe," she huffed, " If I threw up he'd let me sit on the bleachers."

"And leave me walking the track alone?"

She looked over to him shrugging, finally getting the mouthful of air she required.

On foot, Ness and Jacob continued to walk the track. Jacob observed Renesmee just as he did everyday in their P.E. weights class. Ness was in her usually P.E. clothes, lose black gym shorts that hung at her mid-thigh and Jacob's heather gray P.E. shirt from freshman year. He loved the way she looked in her P.E. uniform, to his surprise it wasn't to revealing like the rest of the girls. With all the word about her being easy he thought she'd be in a skimpy gym outfit. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, and she was licking her lips as she removed the arms that were over her head.

As the sea scented La Push wind blew through her chestnut bangs and the stray hairs that fell from the bun, she looked over at Jacob and smiled.

Returning the grin, he heard someone shout, "Head's up!"

With Jacob's fast reflexes he stretched out his arm across Nesss's face blocking a soccer ball that almost hit her in the head. "That was close," she said wide eyed.

When the guy who kicked the soccer ball came to collect it, Jake tossed him the ball and said in a very dominant voice, "Learn how to kick a damn ball!"

Ness held back a laugh because the freshman looked terrified of Jacob. She loved the way he spoke so dominantly to people, because somehow he could control him with his tone, it amazed Ness.

After that they didn't speak. Ness started to walk along the curbing that separated the soil of the track from the grass of the field. Almost losing her footing she took hold of Jake's shoulder so she wouldn't fall of the tiny curb. That slightest touch sent shivers down Jacob's spine. She touched him all the time, but each time felt like the first. He was curious of how one girl could leave his soul satisfied by just a touch.

As they came around the bend, Jacob interrupted the comfortable silence.

"Hey, you going to prom?"

"I think so," she swallowed down the dry lump in her throat that formed from running, " Nahuel, asked me."

Unenthusiastically, he snapped, "Oh."

Taking notice to his surly remark, she frowned at him stepping down from the curb. The head ache was already beginning to spread out from her temples. As much as she loved Jacob, she wasn't up for his lethargic mood or his judgment in her choice of men.

With the same bitterness and disdain she retorted, "Don't get too excited for me or anything."

"I'm not," he stated with an unfriendly banter, it rolled of his tongue so naturally.

Wanting to kick at the dirt track beneath her feet, she held back. She knew how childish that would be. In place of that immature reaction, she stopped dead in her tracks, causing a small dust cloud to kick up. When he continued to walk, she then kicked at the dirt. He wouldn't see. Ness was so irritated by his behavior. Usually, when she halted, he did too, he was like her shadow. Letting a large sigh, she decided to give back the aloofness.

"Excuse me?"

Jacob felt he was liberating himself, by continuing to walk in faster strides. He had these unrealistic hopes that if he sustained his pace the entire conversation would be forgotten. Also, he didn't want to quarrel about another one of Nessie's bad choice in men. But as soon as she spoke, he hesitated to continue marching forward. "Jake?" she said calmer.

Once her soft voice called to him, he caved and turned to her saying, "Nahuel he's?"

He struggled to articulate the truth, because he hated to wound Nessie's already damaged heart. She walked to his side and side by side they began to stroll along the track.

Not wanting to put off this conversation, quickly, he spat,"Well, he's an ass."

Stamping past Jacob, Ness threw words back at him, " I thought he was your friend?"

"Just cuz we're on the baseball team together doesn't mean we're friends."

The tense heated silence, bothered Jacob. On the contrary, he waited until the both cooled off until he spoke. Coming around another curve of the track, he knew he somehow had to get her to see his side.

Being concerned he informed, "He's just not that great a guy."

"Yeah, he is. He's so sweet."

"He's buttering you up Ness." His tone oozed sarcasm and it pissed Ness off.

"No, he's not!"

Grabbing her arm, he made her look him in the eyes as he spoke. "Ness, I know this guy, he's been using the same tricks since he moved here my freshman year."

Snatching her arm back she continued to walk the track in a speed walk. Of course, Jake trailed behind saying," He only calls you late at night right? "

Ness twisted her body around to look at him, throwing her hands up in confusion she responded, "Yeah so?"

"You're not important enough to him, to call as soon as he gets home?" He stated this but it sounded much more like a questioning to Renesmee.

She had to react. "He has baseball," she said as she pointed at him, " with you."

Their walking had sped up as their dispute thickened.

" We get home by six thirty. Why can't he call you then? Why's he wait 'til midnight?"

Ness knew he was right, Nahuel did wait until late to call her but he had a life. He had baseball, homework, chores and activities just like any other teenager. She couldn't be angry with Nahuel for putting off calling her until he found the time. In all honesty she did the same, she had her associated student body activities, running the snack bar at the baseball games on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, music lessons with her father, chores and visitation with Jacob. With all that, she postponed calling or visiting Nahuel until all those activities were complete. She was just as guilty, so him calling her at midnight wasn't a problem.

Jacob had to further his bitterness and his umbrage with Nahuel. "I'll tell you why, he's too busy hanging out with his friends and other girls." He stayed silent until she said something but she wouldn't utter a word. "Come on Ness, you're not allowed on the phone past ten. Did you tell him that?"

They continued walking carrying on in their spat.

"Yeah, I did."

"Obviously, he doesn't care if you get in trouble. If he really cared about you he'd not only respect you, but the rules you have too."

"You're a hypocrite," she replied short and sharp, "you know my dad doesn't like you picking me up on the bike but you do anyways."

"Yeah and today I decided I wouldn't anymore. I don't want you to get hurt, I'd kill myself if anything happened to you and it was my fault. And I don't want you to be in trouble, why do you think I went home to get the Rabbit?"

She just rolled her eyes, watching the other P.E. class play a game of soccer. Half of her anger melted away when he fully explained himself but Jake was still passing judgment on a man that was very close to her.

"At least when I drop you off today he won't freak out and you won't get grounded."

Less ruffled by Jake, she was more relaxed but still livid inside. Coolly, she retorted her speculation, "Jacob for once can't you just be happy for me?"

There was no comeback from Jacob. _Should I answer that question? _He thought_. Why couldn't I be happy for her getting another boyfriend? Oh yeah, because I'm in love with her._

From the other side of the field, their coach hollered, "Alright, go dress out!"

Heading for the locker rooms didn't distract them from the conversation. They continued their argument, strolling across the dry dirt track and green grass of the field.

Softly she stated," You always do that."

"What?"

Ness was wringing her hands together as she muttered, "Every time a guy shows interest in me you pick him apart, tell me his faults and mistakes. You always tell me what's wrong with the guy."

With bitterness he frowned. She was biting her lip hoping this would stop her from shouting at him. Jake retorted, " I've yet to be wrong."

"Just cuz you don't like him doesn't mean I'm not going to give him a chance," she responded with such an acidic tone.

He went to wrap his arm around her shoulder but she bumped him off. Biting her lip harder she was just getting more upset.

"I'm looking out for you." Ness was aware of his euphemized response. She didn't know that caring for her was an embarrassing thing for him to convey in words. For him it was, because there was more protectiveness he had towards her. More than she knew.

_He's like my big brother of course he's going to look out for me_. She thought and that irritated her, the way he spoke made her feel like an obligation. She didn't want him watching over her because it was a requirement, she wasn't a child anymore.

"I'm not a child, I don't need to be watched over, alright?"

"Too bad, you don't need another ass hole boyfriend using you., I've never been wrong about your ex's."

"No, but you're wrong about Nahuel."

"Am I?" he spat back scratching at his arm.

As they came closer to the locker room doors she said, "He actually respects me and my boundaries. For him it's… not about sex."

Jacob had nothing more to say, because for Nahuel it was about sex, he knew it was.

She left him saying," Look, I'll talk to you in Chemistry."

Without waiting for a response she stepped into the girls locker room, and he went to the boys locker rooms.

* * *

**Chapter 4 preview:**

_"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..."_

_She headed back to her room and cried, as much as she wanted to hate Jacob, he was her best friend, her other half. Grabbing a tight hold of her pillow, she pressed her face into the down finding some sort of relief. Over the next few hours she lied in bed and fiddled with her cell, half tempted to text Jake and apologize._

**SPECIAL THANKS TO: **_ScorpiusRoseLove_r, for putting this on story alert and reviewing. _Patty(heart)cake,_ as always thanks for your long reviews I LOVE 'EM! Later on you'll see why the baby pushes them apart and doesn't bring them closer. _adia.M _and _luv2beloved_, for reviewing. _Lexy-the unstoppable_- for favorite-ing. _russetfubur_ for reviewing. _emerald red_ for placing this story on story alert, as well as making me a favorite author.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I know many of you are waiting on Last Sunrise and Gravity, I planned on posting but I'm not happy with the verbiage so, I'm re-writing it and making it flow. I have to iron out the wrinkles, I hope that's fine by you. As for this story I'm so happy with the amount of readers that are enjoying this. Questions, comments and suggestions always welcomed by me. Let me know what you thinks gonna happen. -HAPPY READING! REVIEW, Review, review! Pleeeeaaaasssseee...

Oh does anyone want to co-write with me? Let me know because I would love to help out with any of your stories.


	4. Let Go

"If you love someone, let them go. If they return to you, it was meant to be. If they don't, their love was never yours to begin with..."

**Chapter 4 – Let Go-**

After each changed from their P.E. uniforms to their regular clothes, Ness figured Jacob was just as angry as her, so she didn't wait for him. It was customary for them to walk together from phys ed to their honors chemistry class, that they luckily shared. Merging junior and seniors in elective science classes wasn't rare. Even though, he was a senior and she was a junior, they were fortunate enough to share the last two periods of the day. The last class they shared was their merged eighth and seventh grade class years ago.

She ambled her way to their Chemistry class alone, only to find, Jacob hadn't waited for her. She thought she'd get her point across if she ditched him but he thought the same thing. He was sitting at his assigned seat which was directly infront hers. Seeing him already sitting was like he just kicked her in the face. She couldn't explain the torment she was feeling.

Even more distressed then before, Ness walked over and took a seat at the stool behind the black countered, lab table. As she passed by, Jacob was intently writing on a piece of paper and paid her no mind. _Strike two_, she thought. Currently she wished her last name started with a "Z". Her teacher had the students sitting in alphabetical order, which is how she ended up right behind Jacob. If her last name started with a "Z" she'd be clear across the room where she wouldn't have to stare at the back of his head the entire hour of sixth period.

Each started on the questions of the day, which was basically ten questions from the last chapter that were meant to evoke their minds. Ness leaned over to retrieve her composition book and Chemistry book from her bag. When her eyes came back to the countertop of the desk, she found a piece of poorly folded line paper lying in front of her. When she picked it up, _Nessie_ was deeply imprinted on the front it. She knew it was from Jacob, he was the only one outside her family that called her Nessie.

Before she read it or wrote him back, she started on the first question written on the board. Gazing 'round the room, she noticed the boy she shared a table with was gone. She pulled up her backpack and placed on the table, just as, to her dislike, the a.c. kicked on. Jacob had a jacket in his locker and Ness considered asking him to go retrieve it. Flipping through her chemistry book, she could hear a metallic clicking coming from ahead of her. Jake was bouncing his leg around nervously causing the stool foot rest to click. Ness smiled, she wanted to make him sweat a little. She took her time and after finishing the first question, she unfolded the note. She found he had written in his distinct handwriting of all caps, years ago she suggested if he written in all capitol letters it would appear better than his chicken scratch and she was right. It read:

_I DON'T THINK IT'S S GOOD IDEA_

Ness ran her hand through her hair and pause at the crown of her head to scratch in annoyance. Taking her black pen she furiously wrote: _I don't care! It's not up to you. _Following the original crease lines, she folded the paper. Making sure their chemistry teacher wasn't paying attention, she looked to her right, where the teacher was position on the corner clear across the room. She tossed the paper between the bodies of Charlene Price and Jacob.

Charlene eyed the note that landed on her side of the table. The blonde haired, blued eyed girl thought of grabbing it for a quick second before Jacob noticed. Stretching her hand out she went to grab it, but Jake snatched it up quickly.

Charlene hoped her action wasn't noticeable to Jacob. She'd die of embarrassment. She was always curious as to what these two, wrote in the notes they passed. They were attached at the hip as it was, why would they need to pass notes? Couldn't they not talk for an hour? Rolling her eyes she got back to her work and noticed Jacob twist his body around to set the note on Renesmee's desk. It read:

_NESSIE I LOVE YOU YOU'RE LIKE MY FAMILY I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU GET HURT AGAIN_

_I won't get hurt. _

Incessantly they passed the note back and forth with their response.

_YOU SAID THAT ABOUT DEMETRI & FELIX ,MIGHT I REMIND YOU BOTH ROYALLY SCREWED YOU OVER!_

_Both times my fault, I wasn't a good girlfriend. I didn't put the same amount into the relationship as they did. At least with Alec and Mike things ended civilly._

_IT WAS NEVER YOUR FAULT_

_Even if it wasn't my fault I'm going with Nahuel._

_NESS FELIX TOLD NAHUEL YOU WERE AN EASY LAY I THINK THAT'S THE ONLY REASON HE HAS ANY INTEREST IN YOU_

Heatedly Ness crumbled the paper up and tossed it in the recycling bin, by Jacob's desk side. He saw and heard her huff behind him. That was the reason he'd never say anything about the rumors, he was almost sure she'd be offended.

"Alright! You guys chapter reviews! You know what to do!" Mrs. Nelson called out.

All the students moved about like the teacher allowed and Ness obtained her iPod from her bag and places the headphone in her ears and got to work. The rest of the period they wouldn't speak to one another. Scratch that, Renesmee didn't want to talk to Jacob. He was used to her tossing tiny pieces of paper at him or her bringing her stool to his desk so they would do their work together.

Charlene tried to get Renesmee's attention by turning her head and saying, "Hey! Ness? Hello?"

When Ness didn't react , Charlene looked to her left and whispered to Jacob, "You and Ness fighting?"

"No," he answered not removing his eyes from his textbook.

"You sure?" she questioned, " Usually you two always do your chapter review together."

"Not today," he responded short.

Very hushed Charlene said, "So I'm allowed to talk to you today?"

At last Jacob crooked his head to Charlene and asked, "Since when are you not allowed?"

"Not when Renesmee's around."

"What do you mean?"

"Every time we have chapter reviews I try to join you guys but she gives me this death glare that… to be honest she scares me."

"Scares you?"

"As small as she is she's threatening."

Jacob chuckled at that comment. Compared to him she was tiny, around five one, maybe five three, he wasn't positive. All he knew was that since they met, her height hasn't changed but her weight had. It was if she had a sudden growth spurt over night. One day she was stick thin wanting to gain weight, then one day she stopped by his house and was greeted with a pair of breasts, hips and a perfect ass. And boy, did he notice. Yep, she was still small but everything was in ideal proportion.

Charlene's raspy voice interrupted Jacob's thoughts on Renesmee's flawless body.

" I heard she kicked Demetri's ass for…screwing her then breaking up with her."

"Don't believe all the gossip you hear Charlene, if everything you heard was true, I'd be on steroids, Ness and I would be having sex and you'd be expecting Tommy O'Brian's baby by this summer."

"Okay, okay," she replied throwing her hands up, "I get it, but you guys really don't have sex?"

"No," Jake frowned and became defensive, " and even if we did it'd be none of your business."

"You guys are just so close, people say you kinda have a friends with benefits thing going on."

"You have no shame do you?"

Stupidly, she questioned, "Shame? About what?"

"Talking about sex, and gossip like it's nothing."

"I'm sorry. I don't talk about those kind of things, not usually, and usually guys don't care, but you're not like every other guy are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"You got your hair cut?"

"No," Jacob stated in mockery, " it grew shorter."

Charlene giggled then changed the subject. "Anyways, what are you doing for prom?" she asked turning back to her book.

"I don't think I'm going."

Slamming her pen down, she swivels her entire body facing Jake shrieking, "Why not? It's senior prom you have to go."

"I don't have a date, so I'm skipping it," he shrugged.

"I don't either, I planned to go alone. Maybe we could go together?"

"We'll see, if I plan on going,."

"So is that a yes?"

"Can I get back to you?"

"Sure…"

Ness tried to forget anyone was in the room with her. But then she looked at Charlene, she thought, _If anyone's a slut it's her_, _not me._ Not wanting to be angry Ness switched her ipod to play. She needed a song that was tranquil. Searching for that peaceful song she stopped on My Lady's Room by Iron and Wine. The soothing sound calmed her but unfortunately that song reminded her of Jake. She wasn't sure why, maybe it was the fact the song calmed her, the way Jacob was able to do. It made her think of the all the times they'd take hikes through the forest near her house or walks on First Beach where they caught sight of whales and nature. The piano's chords made her think about how he'd come over to her house, no matter what weather and they'd sit in her room staring out the window watching the rain fall in complete comfortable silence. If it wasn't raining they'd do their homework or he'd watch her practice her guitar or piano. She even taught him the exact chords of this song.

Gazing off in a trance, she lifted her vision to take sight of Jake. Instead she saw Charlene brazenly flirting with Jacob. Ness rolled her eyes. That girl had the habit of taking Ness's men. Nessie loathed how she always made a spectacle of herself with, over exposed flesh and a big mouth. Quite frankly, Charlene bugged the hell out of Ness but Ness was nice, a majority of the time.

The period wrapped up and as soon as the bell rang she took off to the student parking lot, leaving Jake behind. Making her way over to Jake's car she leaned against it, waiting. Twenty minutes later, she saw him walking into the parking lot with Charlene and Embry by his side. All of them said their goodbyes and aversely Ness waved goodbye to Charlene. Being nice to her, wasn't easy. However, she was raised to be polite no matter how awful a person is.

Jacob came trotting up to her with her helmet in his hand. She didn't even think to go retreive her things from her locker, or the things she left in his. AS he came closer, Ness looked at the ground, only to see her Vans had been scuffed up. The air wipped through the messy bun, that she had left it in after P.E. Biting and sucking the inside of her cheek, she irritable. She was fighting with her mood, she didn't want to freak out on Jake. When she saw his feet next to hers, she brought her vision up, following the boots up to his nicely fitting jeans, then to his tight black shirt and finally to his deep brown hazel eyes.

"I don't know the truth Ness," Jake started the conversation as he handed her, her helmet, "Alec says you're a prude, Felix says your easy, alotta guys say your easy. Either way I don't want to see you get hurt."

Offended by his words Ness retorted, "You don't know shit Jake."

She readjusted her messenger bag, gripped her helmet and without thinking, started to walk off. After only two steps Jacob spoke, "I know that every time a guy breaks it off with you, ya run to me." Obviously, she stopped to hear what he had to say, that and he was her ride home. "And I'm there to pick up the pieces. I know, it kills me to see you be heartbroken. And I know, I don't want you going with Nahuel to prom cuz he's another jerk-off."

Taking those two steps back towards him, she got in his face. The glower on her face pressed a deep wrinkle between her eyebrows.

"Not only am I going with him, he's my boyfriend." Her aggression was evident in her tone.

He was shocked to learn, she was dating that foreign prick, not that he had anything against foreigners but this guy thought he was Rico Suave. Jake saw right through him. "Since when?" he questioned.

"Friday afternoon."

Jacob counted in his head, _Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday._ "Almost a week? Why didn't you tell me?" _Better yet, how did I not notice?_

"I didn't know how? I-I mean," she paused, then muttered, "I didn't know I had to."

As Jake unlocked the passenger side of his car, he left the door open so she could get in the car. Then he said, "I don't want you dating him Ness."

She eyed him as he walked around the front of the Rabbit and stopped on the driver's side. The way Ness perceived his last statement, was an order. He gave an order in that domineering tone she loved so much. But she wasn't about to bow down to him and let him have control. She would continue to date Nahuel with or without his approval. She was sick of his condemnation in her pick in men. It was her choice after all.

Stretching her head back, she was looking to the sky cursing to herslef and grumbling out loud, " Ugh! I thought you'd be happy that I found a decent guy."

She threw her helmet in the back seat, along with her bag. Taking a seat on the passenger side, she closed the door and sulked, setting her elbow on the door and resting her head in the palm of her right hand. Jacob unlocked his side of the door and sat inside prolonging the argument.

"Trust me, he's not a decent guy, just a great actor, just like the others."

She didn't respond. Jake sighed and placed the keys in the ignition but didn't start the var. He leaned his head against the head rest waiting for her to retort something, anything but when she didn't he warily said, "Do me a solid Ness and don't be an easy lay with him."

The words slapped her in the face. "Huh,"she huffed her eyes wide and mouth agape from the hurtful words. She couldn't be in the car with someone who thought so poorly of her. Reaching back for her bag she stated, "I'm getting a ride with Embry."

Getting out of the car she slammed the door shut. Inside the enclosed car Jacob shouted, "Why not Nahuel! He's your boyfriend!"

Stepping out of the car Jake yelled at her as Ness continued to walk towards Embry's car, " Don't come crying to me when he screws you over."

She turned, making sure her broiwn eyes connected with his. She cocked her head, gave a cynical smirk and stated, "I won't."

Irately, Jake slumped against the hood of his car and pressed his hands in his pocket. Why had he been so forward? He knew he shouldn't have said that but he was frustrated and when you're angry you don't filter your words. You just open your mouth and say hurtful things. Kicking at the tiny rocks on the asphalt, Jake decided to just hang out until three thirty when pre game warm ups started for baseball. Maybe he'd talk to her after his game?

" Hey!" he heard Ness shout. His head lifted to see Ness in Embry's car. "Don't pick me up for school tomorrow!" she shouted as the window was being rolled up.

Renesmee went home torn into a million pieces. This was the first legit true fight she's been in with Jake. She never thought it could leave her so wounded. It truly hurt. She ditched her snack bar duties, and arranged for Claire to take over. After declining to watch Nahuel play, she went about her afternoon routine. She had a snack, did her homework, caught up on her music lessons and then she was bored. By six or seven Jake would either call or come over for dinner after baseball but he didn't that evening.

"Dinner!" Bella called from the kitchen.

Galloping down the hall for dinner, Ness took a whiff of the rouladen's her mother made. As she crossed the threshold, her bombarded with her mother's questions.

"Ness are you alright?" Bella asked, almost instantly.

"Fine," she said grabbing a bottled water from the fridge. She could feel them ogle her and it was unerving. Rolling her eyes she could only imagine what her parents had talked about with her not in the room. She only saw her father this afternoon. One thing about Edward Cullen was he observant, and could practically raed her mind. He most likely opened his mouth to Bella, saying, "Renesmee doesn't seem herself."

Bella questioningly raised a brow. Collecting the plates from the cabinet she asked, "Where's Jacob?"

"I'm not sure," Ness said while lifting her shoulder in a gesture claimed she didn't know.

"Why don't you call him and see if he's coming to dinner."

"Yeah," Edward added sitting at the dinner table, " I have to talk to him about this motorcycle business."

"Don't worry he said he doesn't want to pick me up on that thing anymore," she informed as she took a seat at the table. Mocking him she said,_ " He'd kill himself if I got hurt_."

Her father had a taken back expression as he pulled up his seat at the black lacquered table. Stunned he said, "Oh? I think I like Jacob a little better."

"Well," her mom started to talk as she plated the food, " I made extras, so call him over."

"Call grandpa," Ness snapped. Immediately, she apologized, "Sorry, I, I'm not feeling well. Uhm, I'm not very hungry either."

"You have a head ache?" her dad wondered.

She nodded, " I think I'm just gonna head to sleep early."

"Alll-right?" her mother answered cautiously.

"Do you want some aspirin?"

"No, thanks."

She headed back to her room and cried, as much as she wanted to hate Jacob, he was her best friend, her other half. Her mother was even questioning where he could be. Grabbing a tight hold of her pillow, she pressed her face into the down finding some sort of relief. Over the next few hours it became dark out. She lied in bed and fiddled with her cell, half tempted to text Jake and apologize.

But who was in the wrong here? He called her easy, he believed the rumors and never once asked her side of things. What kind of friend did that? That hurt worse than him calling her, in lamens terms, a slut. Was it to difficult for him to be excited for her? At the moment she could care less about that, all she could recall was the ridiculous fight they had. Covering herself in blankets with her cell still clutched in her hands, she thought _Maybe I'm being too sensitive?_

Looking back, she didn't complain about his ex-girlfriend, or make the slightest degrading comment about her, even though Ness felt she wasn't good enough for Jake. With the respect she showed Jake the year he was with Leah, she wondered why he could never return the favor or at least fake being happy for her. She was a great friend, never starting an argument about her dislike towards Leah as well as, never complaining about him ditching her for Leah, as rare as that was. Fighting with him wasn't something she was used to.

Renesmee rather slit her wrists than quarrel with him. But she despised the fact that Jacob never liked any of her boyfriends, and she hated that he was so important to her. Sometimes she felt he was the reason her relationships didn't work out, because she needed to see him, because she starved for his presence. Furthermore, she hoped she hadn't held him back from relationships. If that were true, maybe it's why he'd never had any other girlfriends besides Leah.

_I can't be selfish or prevent him from being happy, the way he does to me. _With that thought, she tucked the cell phone away in her antique side table drawer. That night she wouldn't text him, she wouldn't call him, she'd try to let him go. Perhaps, if she did so both of them could have relationships. Moreover, hers wouldn't end with the guys giving his absurd reasons, then adding, " and I don't like that you're bestfriends with a guy. You always ditch me for him."

Hours later, at three in the morning, she was disturbed by the buzzing of her vibrating phone in the old side table her mother had picked out when she was a baby. It didn't really matter because she was having a difficult time sleeping. Quickly, she opened the drawer in case it was Nahuel, who of course waits 'til past midnight to call. Pulling hard, the old drawer jerked open. Without reading the caller id, she opened a message that read:

_Im sry I overreacted who m I 2 tell u who u can and cant date? I guess I hv 2 let u mk ur own mistakes –J_

Well thanks for the backhanded apology, she thought and put the phone back in the nightstand.

If she only knew, Jacob was having the same kind of night. A night of restless sleep and thoughts of _I have to let her go, she'll realize I was right. She'll see that I only have her best interest at heart._

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**Author's NOTE:**_ Alright seriously listen to My Lady's House by Iron and Wine, such a beautiful song. _WOW, I've been updating fast on this story. I'm going to start slowing down okay? _I _have to make a comment it's mid to late March not mid May like it said in a previous chapter. Just had to make that correction cuz timing is very important in this story. Now, this was a long chapter, kinda. I hope you're comprehending that Ness loves him but she isn't in love with him. It's a connect to him, she can't explain. Now what has Jake done to their practically flawless friendship?

**SPECIAL THANKS to:** _lemondewdrop_ for putting this story up on story alert. _ellalbs_ for favorite-ing my story. _sammy _for reviewing. _Black-Phoenix-2009_ for reviewing. _russetfurbur _for placing me on author alert, that's always a complement also for favorite-ing my story. _Patty(heart)cake _for another amazingly LONG review, I love 'em and I love that you put everything you're thinking down. THANKS P(h)C! l_uv2beloved_ for reviewing

**Chapter 5 Preview:**

_"Love is temporary...but friends are forever."_

_"You think that after a month you're ready to have…" Pausing he rubbed his temple, realizing that question didn't matter, she'd done the deed. Focusing on the main topic he double checked and asked, "Did you have sex with him?"_

_Raising her hand, her eyes scanned the rather fancy hotel room. Taking a sigh she ran her hand across the bed comforter as she said, "That's what this was for."_

_"Did you?" He repeated. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know..._

**_REVIEW, please! Another A/N: _**_UH OH! WHAT DO YOU THINKS GONNA HAPPEN? __Let me know because I bet it isn't what it sounds like or it is what it sounds like but won't be what you expected. Also soon, and very soon we will be hitting the main topic of this story, __Jake and Nessie's hook up. Or WAIT did they already have their one night stand? __She has had a queesy stomach__. Oh and __ I may have to change the rating? Trying to keep it PG here but we'll see what happens__. REVIEW PLEASE.__ An__y suggestions are welcomed__!_

_To let ya know- I'm going to ass links on my profile for this story._

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_**Waiting on Last Sunrise and Gravity? Go check my A/N. **_


	5. Replaced

"_Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."_

**_Chapter 5 –Replaced-_**

The next morning Jacob was late to school, he overslept. How could Jacob fall asleep when all that ran through his mind was the argument he and Renesmee had. Offering a halfhearted apology, early this morning, he sent it to her via text, expecting it to ease the guilt. When she didn't reply , he presumed she was already asleep, on the phone with Nahuel or possibly far from accepting his apology. He prayed it was his first assumption of her sound asleep.

His previous night was full of uncontrolled thoughts. He regretted being blunt with Renesmee and could only imagine her having sex with other men. The thoughts bothered him, and the way she was used up by these guys infuriated him. Walking into his Economics class he was still lost in those thoughts and bookless. Grunting to himself, he knew he hadn't been thinking straight all morning. Before he stepped out the house his father pointed out that he had two different shoes on, he grabbed his father's set of keys and attempted to start his Rabbit and now he hadn't thought to get his books

Luckily he had his teacher's required for the day, his homework. Going to flip through the binder to retrieve his work, the first thing he noticed was a penciled drawing of a large wolf. In the distance, amongst the trees and shrubs of a forest in black and white, was Jacob's garage.

The exact illustration was one that Renesmee had done the first week of school. Sometime in the month of October, she slipped it into the outside of his binder when he wasn't looking. It was her first assignment of the year, the topic was friends. But the art class had to express the acts and emotions of a specific friend, in such a way that wasn't literal. Shoving his index finger and thumb between the plastic he pulled the original portrait to read the description on the back. He did this often, it always put him in a good mood.

The back still had lead smudges of her finger prints all over it and an "A" inked in red. Being careful with the drawing that was valuable to him, he began to read Ness's description of the picture she called, _My Jacob._

_I spent countless hours trying to find a way to portray my friend, Jacob. I decided the best was to do it was by choosing a wolf .As strange as the comparison, the similarities between them are not physical of course but behavioral. There are unmistakable and great traits in my friend and in a wolf. Like a wolf is loyal and protective to it's pack without reserve, Jacob is that way with me. Regal, warm and strong are some qualities both my friend and a wolf share as well, not only emotionally but physically. The way a wolf is tolerant and helpful with a younger member, is how Jake is with me. All in all, he is like the Alpha male, the leader of the pack, the one I could look up to and trust to keep me safe. And as a wolf, he isn't a fussy eater and has an amazingly large appetite. _

Scanning his eyes to the bottom of the paper in a different colored ink Nessie wrote:_ It's all true especially your gigantic appetite. Luv ya Jake_

He laughed to himself. She actually wrote that about him. He placed the picture back in his folder and knew the picture was physical proof that they would get through their spat.

Before his second period, Jacob unlocked his locker to put his jacket away, only to find all his belongings placed inside and all Ness's removed. The lockers they once shared Ness sorted early that morning. _She's being stubborn _he thought as he slammed his locker hisback into the locker, he folded his arms and planned to settle this stupid fight by begging for forgiveness.

The chirping of the students echoed through the hallways, and the smell of freshly moped floors hung in the air also. The students all scrambling to retrieve things from their lockers, and frantically rushed not to be late to their next class. Amid the hundreds of students Jake spotted Renesemee coming his way.

Ready to give her a piece of his mind, he pushed himself way from the locker. He was about to be honest and upfront about these rumors, about her dating and about his feelings for her. Nahuel was unfortunately at her side, with a tight hold on her waist, like he owned her. She seemed uncomfortable. The way Ness behaved was not what he anticipated , she passed by her locker, pretending Jacob didn't exist. At the last moment, Ness looked to him vacantly, resembling the way a person would look at a stranger.

Jacob focused on her face. For once, her plump lips weren't a healthy shade of pink, they blended with her skin and she had them tightly pursed together. Her usually bright eyes, were blood shot and full of genuine, distress. Jacob hated to see her that way, and knowing he was at fault gave him feelings beyond guilt.

"Hey," Jacob remorsefully smiled and murmured, but she didn't respond.

What Jacob saw was her infantile behavior. She went out of her way to give a vexed glance and paid no heed to him. Did he really want to put up with that? Was she worth it? To him, she was worth more than his own life. _She'll grow out of her immaturity soon_, he hoped. One way or another he was going to blame Nahuel because this was so unlike Ness. Jacob knew Nahuel's cockiness and manipulative ways.

At their baseball game yesterday, he overheard Nahuel speaking about Renesmee in a disgustingly degrading way. The way Nahuel spoke of her was like a piece of furniture, almost as an accent chair. Pretty to look at but it serves a purpose, and it's easy to use. Jacob didn't know whether to beat him over the head with a baseball bat or strangle him with his own hands. Either way Ness would be livid with him, and at the moment he wasn't in the position to anger her more. Nahuel clearly didn't care for her feelings, he wanted to get her to bed and that was it. The big ego headed ass continued to walk down the school corridor with Renesmee as arm candy. He pressed his lips to her neck, making Jacob's blood boil. Taking her brown eyes away from Jake, she refocused complete attention on Nahuel. He kissed her cheek and she smirked, kissing him firmly on the lips.

Jacob was taken back. She mind as well, have taken a dagger and stabbed him in the heart then and there leaving him for dead. It was unlike Renesmee to be icy and bitter. Little did he know, there was a reason, she was being this way, as immature as it was. Being unkind wasn't something that came easily for Ness, at least when it came to Jacob. However, she had to get her point across to him. She hoped the message was clear and that message was, he deeply hurt her by his accusation of her promiscuity.

Over the weeks, Jacob and Renesmee never showed their regrets in how they treated one another. Eventually, they began talking again.

They mostly disconnected themselves from one another, with the exception of phone calls and the two classes they shared. They didn't walk to class together because Nahuel was there to replace Jacob. At least that is precisely the way Jacob felt, replaced. Jacob was forlorn on the entire circumstance. Apparently there were new terms that they had that were not verbally put in place. He was not to go into her locker as he once did, he was not to be with her at lunch, he was not to take her to school, he was not allowed to show up to her home uninvited and she didn't drop by his home either.

Ness could never clarify or receive an explanation of why her spirit felt removed. She really missed her best friend, and there was more missing, something greater than missing a friend, but she couldn't describe. Nahuel didn't help, he made it clear he didn't want her to be around Jacob. She agreed, and found excuses to stay from Jake. She reminded herself, if she was going to have a normal relationship with Nahuel, she had to not be dependent on Jacob. So she pushed girls at him, left and right. She wanted him to find someone, anyone, it didn't matter who. The only thing she would want is for him to be happy, like she was. Or maybe if he was in a relationship, it would decrease her swelling guilt complex. To her disappointment he didn't date, but she heard he was going to prom with Charlene. He had to pick the one girl that drove Ness crazy. Renesmee knew the outcome would be a relationship, no doubt a sexual one at that. She was a bit jealous but as long as he was happy, she was happy.

The master bath was big and luxurious, like straight out of a Crate and Barrel magazine. Ness was propped up on a small stool where her aunt Alice meticulously styled her hair for prom, and overused hair spray. Holding her breath, she waiting until her aunt was through using the pollutant hair molder. Humming of the house phone resonated from the kitchen, after the repetitive ringing Bella ran out of the room to answer it. Fully expecting it to be Jacob she got Renesmee became impatient when her mother didn't return with the phone.

Ness looked to the master bedroom to see if her mother was coming back with the phone, but Alice ordered, "Sit straight."

Doing as her aunt asked, she adjusted herself to Alice's liking. Bella remained outside the door of the bathroom holding a conversation with someone. Ness could hear her name being tossed around. Pressing her brows together, she questioned if she was talking to Jake. If it wasn't, she positive whoever her mother was on the phone with was speaking about her. Unluckily, she only caught the tail end of what her mother was saying. "…it's her father who has the problem."

Her mother came in stating, "It'sRosalie."

Taking the phone from her mother, Ness greeted her aunt and spoke to her Aunt Rosalie, who was in Port Townsend planning a wedding. Ironically, that was where Ness's prom was being held. Rosalie called for definite response to some plans they had. Ness asked her father earlier if she could stay over and spend the night so, she can visit with her Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett but she hadn't received an answer. Due to the fact it was prom night, she didn't expect her overprotective father to say yes.

Ness set the phone on the granite countertop. Nearly ready for the night, aunt Alice insisted on making her make-up more seductive and heavy. Alice gingerly patted powder on her niece's face, which made Ness sneeze. Rensemee swatted Alice's hand away. Bella sat on the edge of the oversized tub, sniggering at her daughter's annoyance. The one thing she wished she could change through this milestone in Renesmee's life, was the date she had selected. Bella had her strange reasons but Nahuel wasn't necessarily her favorite person.

In truth any boy her daughter dated was her least favorite person. When it came to boys, Bella knew how vulnerable Ness can become. She was a magnet for callous and childish guys. The girl falls for each boy she dates and falls hard. It concerned Bella and she questioned the self confidence Ness had in herself. This was one of the many reasons she liked Jacob. Ness wasn't susceptible with him, she was normal, relaxed and certain with herself . She made good decisions when she was with Jacob. It would be so easy for them to make the transition from friends to lovers. _Okay maybe not lovers quite, yet._ Bella rolled her eyes at the thought.

Through the mirror Ness made eye contact with Bella. With a smile Renesmee asked, "Mom can you go wait with dad and Uncle Jasper? Nahuel and his parent's will be here any minute and I don't want them alone with dad and Jasper."

"Alright," Bella grumbled and left the room. She knew if they couldn't answer the phone, they wouldn't be able to take their eyes of the television to answer the door bell. . Bella felt like Renesmee was too caught up in this Nahuel, it left her daughter not acting her usual self. Renesmee was like her mother, who didn't care about dances, appearances and makeup. Ness changed so drastically in the last month, it worried Bella.

Bella made sure everything was neat and tidy before Nahuel and his parents came over. She came from the tiny kitchen, to the mid-sized living room where Edward and Jasper were to consumed in the television.

"Do we really have to meet his parents?" Bella whined, placing a tray of vegetables in front of Edward and Jasper.

Edward turned the volume down on the flat screen and replied, "Ness wants us to."

"You know, I don't even know this, Nahuel. I've met him twice," she complained taking a seat next to her husband on the blue sectional.

Reaching for a stick of celery he simultaneously patted her leg and explained, "He's busy, he has baseball and school."

"Since she's been with him, her and Jake have been strained, I don't like it."

Edward looked over to his wife sitting like she was sent to the principal's office for something she had not done. He swallowed the food in his mouth and wrapped his arm around her.

"She's dating Love," he lulled her and kissed her cheek, "she can't be with Jacob all the time."

" Friends are more stable then who you date."

Jasper took hold off the remote and raised the volume back up on the television to some sports recap on the afternoon news.

"What about me?" Edward asked and extended his arm to the tray off veggies. Resting her head on his shoulder Bella told her husband what she was thinking. "I was lucky, I fell in love with my best friend maybe Ness should too."

"We may have a problem on our hands if she does fall for Jacob."

" I hope she does."

"Bella, I don't think she sees Jacob the way he sees her."

"Why? He's smart, put together, he doesn't hold Renesmee back and he has his future planned out. Could we pick anyone better, you know he'll take care of her."

"Yeah, he always has but she's with Nahuel."

"I don't think Nahuel's good enough for her. I mean what's he plan on doing with his life? Will he be able to take care of Renesmee?"

Jasper added, "Bella, it's prom, they're not getting married."

"Exactly, so why does Ness insist they come to our home, have freaking snacks and take pictures when they can do that at their own house?"

Alice walked in witnessing Bella's hissy fit, while Jasper shrugged and Edward tried to soothe her worries, "I don't know? It's what she wants."

"They've been together for over a month, hate to break it to you but they may be together for a long time," Alice informed before she took a bit of a ranch covered carrot.

Bella shook her head and looked to the wedding band on her hand," I'm freaking out here. We all married our high school prom dates, this could be Ness's future husband."

It was true, Edward and Bella had to find a babysitter on their senior prom night, when they were of age they wed. Alice and Jasper attended the same prom and was married five years after. Alice was in same class as Edward and Bella. As for Jasper, he was a year ahead with Emmett and Rosalie. After they graduated, Rosalie and Emmett broke off their relationship when Rose moved away for school. They were married two weeks after she moved back to Forks.

Alice leered at Bella's comment. So knowingly and sure of the future she denied Bella's fear, " Trust me, Bella, he's not."

"Alice, you can't tell the future so quit acting so sure of yourself."

"Maybe I can?" was Alice's comeback before she bit into another carrot stick.

"What if he's one," Bella started on the verge of tears, wrapping her arms around Edward.

Edward kissed her temple again and pulled her tighter to him. Jasper eyed her with his soft eyes and because he's a psychologist he knew how to ask Bella to control her feelings. "Bella calm down," he calmly ordered, "She's still in high school why is this such a big deal?"

"I just want someone who loves her, no matter what. I want her to be taken care of," Bella admitted to Jasper like she was now in a therapy session.

"Bella," Jasper started, "She's seventeen, she still immature and indecisive."

" Marriage hasn't even crossed her mind," Edward disrupted

Turning to look at her husbands, messy hair and green eyes, she became very sarcastic. "If you don't remember, Ed, we were seventeen year olds who were immature and indecisive. Before I even turned seventeen, Renesmee was already three days old."

"We were in love, we are in love," he responded with a smile.

"And you don't think she' in love with this Nahuel? She falls for each guy she dates."

Alice rolled her eyes and countered the conversation, "She doesn't love him."

Edward reassured her too. "Like Jasper said she's still immature and naïve, she doesn't completely understand love."

Bella dug deeper into the topic like this really was a therapy session. "Then what's that say about us? Before she was even a bleep on our radar we were fifteen, sixteen planning our wedding. Did we understand love then?"

"We were the exception, we knew what we had was serious, plus we were more mature than her."

"I know," Bella agreed and nodded.

" I hate to say this but I'm afraid we spoiled her, she's very juvenile and sometimes gullible for a seventeen year old."

Bella didn't agree with that statement, she heatedly retorted, "We didn't spoil her, and she doesn't have gullibility, she has innocence and a trust in people. Which scares me sometimes, but that's our daughter. She requires more growing and choice."

"You're right, maybe we haven't allowed her to grow. To be her own, I need to give her more freedom."

"Yeah? I knew that."

"Well, she asked if she could stay with Rosalie and Emmett tonight in Port Townsend."

"You going to let her?"

"I think so, we have to trust her."

"I trust her. She won't do anything she'll regret."

Nahuel and his parents came by, took their pictures and had awkward conversation with Renesmee's family. Bella was glad they only stayed twenty minutes. After, Nahuel's parents took off, Edward gave his daughter permission to stay in Port Townsend with Rosalie and Emmett. Not before, Edward had a chat with Nahuel about how he was to treat his daughter. Reluctantly, after Ness packed Bella allowed Renesmee to leave with Nahuel in a flashy rented sports car.

They stepped into the red Viper, and took off slow. As soon as they hit the main street, Nahuel sped the entire two hour drive to Port Townsend. Pulling up to the Tulalip Resort and Casino, Ness felt like a fool. She really didn't care how she got to the prom, she just wanted to be in good company. They had a cheap dinner at a local fast food joint and Nahuel misplaced his wallet, forcing Ness to pay.

Getting out of the car, Nahuel handed over the keys to a valet. Ness rolled her eyes thinking that the prom committee really overdid it. Ness jogged to catch up with Nahuel, who had already walked into the venue without her.

At last she caught up with him and took a hold of his hand.

"Did I tell you, you look hot," he said pulling his hand from her and draping it across her shoulders.

"Thanks?" She responded, irritated. He pulled his arm off her and started adjusting his tie and boutonniere.

"Do I look good?" he questioned and she nodded.

Smirking, he turned to Ness, and asked, "Do you want me to be more romantic? "

"Please."

He took a hold of her hand and kissed the back of her hand, "You look amazing."

Her sad demeanor was erased as soon as he changed his attitude. This was why she liked him, he changed to make her content. She couldn't see how wrong that was. He could be a ladies man and Ness loved how romantic he could be.

But being a chameleon isn't a good thing.

Whispering into her ear, he leaned in saying, "Hey is everything ready for tonight?"

She nodded and pulled the key card from her small clutch purse. He kissed her and said, "Love you." She of course she replied with, "I love you too."

After pictures, Nahuel asked if he could dance with Jessica, Ness gave him the okay and then he ignored her most the night. She didn't mind, she wasn't in the mood for dancing. She really didn't want to be at prom. It seemed like a waste of time and money, to Renesmee. She sat at a round table covered in a white table cloth, with red and black themed décor around. The table was covered in Hershey's chocolate Kisses, Ness picked one up and before she knew it, she consumed all of them. She waived Quil and Claire over, then Seth and Embry but they got to the dance floor with their dates. Sitting alone, she fiddled with the one rose corsage Nahuel had gotten her. Forty minutes in and Nahuel asked if she wanted to head upstairs. She declined, hoping she could share a dance with her best friend, Jacob, but she had seen no sign of him yet.

Another twenty minutes passed and finally Ness saw Jacob coming back from taking pictures. Across the dimly lit ballroom she saw Jacob pull Charlene to the dance floor. Ness snarled in disgust. Of course, she was in a dress that was above her knees and exposing her chest. Ness stood up and interrupted Nahuel's dancing to tell him it was time to head upstairs.

Before she had time to observe the hotel room, Nahuel attacked. Rubbing his hands all over her body and kissing her neck. She stuck with a more conservative approach, as running her hands through his brunette hair and hugging him close. They made their way to one of the two queen beds in their room. Nahuel's lips moved down to her chest, making Renesmee uncomfortable but she allowed it. She always allowed this. As his hands tugged at her zipper, all she could whimper was, "Nahuel."

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Okay, how do you guys think I portrayed Nahuel? Is he a jerk or what? And can you see Ness being consumed by him? Who knows why? Like her parents said, "She's falls hard and she's still naïve." ALSO, I've lost my enthusiasm with both this story and Last Sunrise/Gravity just as all you seem to be, so they may be on hiatus for a while or updated slowly. When you guys are super excited, I'm excited to update. Show me ya'll are still interested. ALso in the next chapter there will be a link for the visuals, description of her dress and Jacob will be back.

**THANK'S TO: **Sophia for reviewing, Ms. RenesmeeCarlie for putting this on story alert. Luv2beloved for reviewing thanks for the long review, patty(heart)cake LOVE your long reviews too keep at 'em! Black-Phoenix 2009 for reviewing and deleting. To answer you, there is no redemptive quality in Nahuel. She falls hard just because a guys shows interest, she isn't cleaver, she's still young and over the length of this story we will see her mature, and Jacob's waiting for that. MioneWriter007 for having this on story alert, favorite stories.


	6. Room 405

NOTE: It may be helpful to know the layout of the hotel room because it's gonna be in the next few chapters. Checkout the visual on my profile.

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"Love is temporary...but friends are forever."

**Chapter ****Six -Room 405-**

The cracked curtains covered a wall of windows, causing a sliver of light to peek through. The luminosity from the window made the hotel room faintly visible. The light flashed as the advertisement changed, hoping to attract customers. Renesmee was curled into a little ball hugging the pillow, pressing her face into the stiff yet soft down. Tears fell and stained the white cotton pillow case. She knew her make-up must be smearing all over fibers of the cushion but she was too upset to care. The room had two queens sized beds. Lying on the bed closest to the window, Ness's eyes were glued to the other mattress, like a fly to flypaper. It was the queen bed that Nahuel had ambushed her on. She hadn't moved from the spot she lay in since Nahuel left her in that room. Replaying the scene over in her mind made her nauseated.

Sitting up, Ness zipped up the fashionable dress, her aunt Alice had bought her and kicked the couture heals off. Nahuel got to excited and didn't give her time to remove her shoes. She used her fingers to wipe her eyes, then forced herself to stop crying. As she dried her cheeks her stomach churned again felt. She sensed the vile traveling up her throat like water rushed through a tunnel. Her nervous stomach couldn't take what had happened, it made her extremely queasy. She couldn't stop it.

Ness covered her mouth and rapidly, she made a beeline to the bathroom, jumping up from the bed and bouncing over the other. She leaned over the toilet dry heaving, regretting the entire night. Kneeling she hung herself over the toilet, thankful it was at least a nice bathroom with tan granite counter tops, white tiles that resembled planked boards and a steam shower. She laughed to herself because although, this was a beautiful restroom, her parents bathroom was nicer.

When Ness finished being sick, she retreated from the bathroom pulling pins out of her up-do styled hair. Her crimson chestnut ringlets dropped to her shoulders, staying in loss curls. Ness went to the semi-circular ottoman at the end of the closest bed and rummaged through her overnight bag that was upon it, she grabbed a tiny bottle of mouth wash and swallowed it. The strong minted alcohol burned her throat and stung all the way down leaving her stomach unsettled. She was so disgusted, that she didn't take the time to swish and spit. Pulling out cleansing towlettes, Ness immediately cleared the makeup from her face. She knew she shouldn't have gone to all the trouble to make herself up, for a prom she had no desire to go to.

She began clearing the makeup clear from her face and walked over to the curtains. She ran her fingers across the tough texture of an accent chair, than she shut the coarse curtains, suffocating the lights from outside. Continuing to clean her face, Ness strolled between the beds and clicked on the light that hung between the beds, to find the glass blown shade illuminated the room in a red glow. However, she saw much better. She saw one large tribal picture hanging over the bed. One hung over each bed and both within it's own black frame. The colors of the pictures were grays, black and red, the curtains on her left were a maroon purple and the carpet was different shades of tan in a continuous waved pattern. The walls were painted a deep antique white, almost a medium shade of taupe the perimeter adorned with thick black crown molding. She looked to the accent chairs again, each had a plum colored modern print. Amid them was a very sleek floor lamp that was unlit.

Rensemee took a seat on the mattress sighing to herself. She felt so used, she had been used and after what had happened, all she could think of was Jacob. He was right, he's always right. Nahuel was a jerk. Bursting into tears again, she realized over the past month she had abandoned Jacob. And for what? To be dumped by some guy who gave who pretended to love her. She fell for it. She was gullible with any guy that showed her interest. Even thought she was feeling sorry for herself, she felt badly for Jacob. How could she call herself his best friend after the way she's been acting and how she's been treating him. She set restrictions on him, not allowing him to come over to her house, ignoring him during passing period and changing herself to become what Nahuel wanted. At least with Jacob, she could be herself and not worry about him demeaning her subtly and manipulating her subconsciously. Ness couldn't doubt that Nahuel had done that, and she tolerated it because from her understanding the idiot loved her.

She swore she wouldn't whine to Jacob when he Nahuel screwed her over. Except, who did she have? Claire was probably having an amazing time with Quil and Seth nor Embry would want to hear about her troubles. It's not like she could be one hundred percent honest with them anyways, at least not the way she was with Jacob. She needed to speak with him, to apologize for her behavior and she needed his nonjudgmental comfort and understanding.

Swallowing her pride, Ness picked up her cell and held down the number one key. At once the speed dial called Jacob's cell. The cell rang over and over again but there was no answer, she caught his voice mail. Hanging up, before the voice mail beeped for her to leave a message, she felt lost. _Of course, he didn't answer, he was probably screwing Charlene right now_. With that thought, Ness felt the depression embedded within her. She pushed him away, but did she push him so far away that he wouldn't be there when she needed him? Were they past the point of best friends? She became very annoyed with the thought of him having a blast with someone other than her. He was her best friend.

_Should I go back down stairs or should I just spend the rest of the night in this room and call Rosalie in the morning? _

Ness made up her mind. She would go down stairs and act as if nothing fazed her. So, she put her shoes back on,started to reapply makeup on and attempted to redo her hair. Hair styling wasn't Renesmee's forte, usually Jacob liked it natural therefore, she never took the time to style it. The reflection she saw was not pretty. Ness prolonged her primping unsure whether or not she would return to her Junior Prom. She had every intention to go back down stairs and pretend to be happy, but why? Nahuel just dumped her, literally, and Jake ignored her phone call, she didn't want to risk going back downstairs being overlooked by her bestfriend.

Ness fought back the stream of whimpers, damming her cries. She couldn't get Jacob out of her head, she's never been able to. The guilt of mistreating Jacob stayed crammed in Ness's soul. She didn't have enough courage to face him or apologize quite yet.

She was running chapstick across her lips when her cell rang... Without delay she dug her phone out of her overnight bag and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kid, you called?"Jake greeted, to cheerily for Renesmee's liking. Instantly, she became relieved he called, irritated he sounded happy and sad that pushed him away. She didn't understand why he would return the call of a pathetic friend. The loud music was blaring through the speaker of her cell. You could hear the chatter of other students excitement, while she was in this hotel room wallowing in her own pity. And why did her always see her as some little kid, like his baby sister? She didn't want to be called kid, she was almost a legal adult.

On the other end, Jacob didn't hear a reply. Hiding his worry, he said, "Ness? I haven't seen you all night, where you at?" At the sound of his voice, she couldn't speak, she became a hundred times more vulnerable. The tears were collecting in her eyes, like a puddle collected rain.

Plugging his ear to hear her, he called out to her again when she didn't reply, " Ness! Hello-oo?"

Finally, she stuttered, holding back tears, "J-Jacob?"

Jacob was sitting with Charlene at a circular table, but he left his dates side and rushed out the ballroom doors, to hopefully hear Ness better. Jacob questioned, "Nessie what is it?"

"Uhm, I –I," She tripped over her tongue and sucked back a gasp to prevent from crying. She wanted him by her side.

"You okay?" Jake questioned breathless. He had restriction in his chest, there was no room to breathe, he was to concerned.

She rubbed her runny nose with the back of her hand sniffling, "Nuh-o."

Her answer set him off, he was pacing and anxious. His palms were beginning to sweat and his heart beat in the pit of his stomach. Many horrid images flashed in his head. _Was she in a car accident? Was she at the hospital? Was she raped? Was she attacked? What could be wrong? _He couldn't bear the thoughts.

"What happened?" he asked abrasively troubled, " Where are you?"

As he examined this, someone grabbed at his arm. Jacob twisted around to see it was Charlene, with makeup any drag queen wouldn't be caught dead in and the dress of a hooker. He couldn't believe he had sex with her.

"Jacob get off the phone!" she ordered.

Jake just shouted, "Shut up Charlene!"

In the background, Ness could hear Charlene yelling at Jacob begging him to come back to her. He didn't , his full attention was on Renesmee.

" Where are you?"

"Uhhh," she hesitated to give him the truth, "in room Four-oh-five."

"What are doing in a room?" Ness could hear that she had let him down just by his tone. " Ya know, it doesn't matter, hang on, I'll be right there."

"Thanks Jake."

Jake deserted Charlene without so much as a, "I'll be right back." He dashed to the nearest elevator. He pounded on the up button, until the first set of doors parted. Stepping in he pressed the fourth floor button, praying that this was Ness's floor. He was beyond nervous, he didn't know what happened to her in that hotel room. If it was anything that harmed her, he wasn't sure if he could contain his anger towards Nahuel any longer.

Exiting the elevator he chanted the room number._405, 405, 405,405, 405, 405._ As he neared the room, his heart pounded and he sped up. Jacob striked the door, abrasively and apprehensively.

In an instant Renesmee's arms were clasped around his waist. He heard her sobs, and without thinking, Jacob wrapped his arms around her neck and kissed her forehead. He was used to treating her this way each time she was upset.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck as a few tears strayed away. Jake could feel the warm tears rolling down his neck. He wasn't sure why she was crying but he had an idea Nahuel was behind it. He kissed her temple, promising, "It's gonna be okay."

However, he was wrong. She wasn't crying because what happened earlier, but because Jacob had come to her aid. She needed him and he showed up, when she didn't deserve it.

"You okay?" he whispered into her hair.

She lifted her head the slightest bit, mumbling into his neck she said, "I am now."

Jacob tried to move from the hallway back to the hotel room but Ness clung to him so strongly that he struggled.

"Let's get out of the hallway," he suggested.

Ness dragged her body away from him and entered the room with Jacob trailing behind her. Taking notice to her attire, one thing Ness hadn't changed when she was with Nahuel, was her simple laid back style. Her skin tight navy blue dress fit her well, and didn't leave much to Jake's imagination. Her back was covered, the long sleeves ended above her elbow and the hemline was at her knees. He couldn't believe that under that layer of knitted fabric was her perfect body. It was modest and sexy at once, only leaving her collar bone and top of chest exposed. The sight of her perfect curves sent jolts of excitement through Jacob.

He remained in the entry by the mini bar, Ness walked to the bed plopping herself on the white coverlet. She took a heal off and tossed it, followed by the other.

Ness's hair was messily pulled up, her asymmetrical bangs hung over one eye. Gazing in wonderment, Jake took in her beaty. She was plain but far from average.

Taking slow strides towards her, Jake said, "You look, nice."

Renesmee's eyes flickered up to Jacob's and she offered a weak smile. She examined him and thought he looked handsome in his tux and gelled hair.

"So do you."

He stood stationary in front of her, barely able to shove his hands into his small pockets of the suit pants. "Where's Nahuel?" he asked. Ness broke her eye contact with him and her vision panned to the bed.

"You didn't," Jacob protested shaking his head in disbelief. He came closer to her waving his hands around. "Renesmee with him? Come on."

Pinning her lip between her teeth, she wouldn't look at him. Jacob took a seat on the bed across from her waiting for a reply.

Wringing her hands, she was in a cloud of misery. The lump in her throat throbbed. She could feel her heart pulsate throughout her body. Panicky, she didn't want to tell Jacob anything but she felt she had to.

Staring at her painted toes, she softly said, "He broke up with me."

To say Jacob was pissed was an understatement. Renesmee was supposed to be in his care, he was to show her a nice time tonight. Instead, he took advantage of Ness then dumped her. To Jake, this meant he deserved to get his ass kicked and Jacob would happily do it. He knew he would get pure enjoyment from it. Ness watched as he shot up and declared," I'm gonna beat the shit outta him."

"No, Jake stay here with me," she pleaded with him. She reached her slender arms and grabbed the back of his suit.

He looked over his shoulder and to Renesmee's pleading eyes.

Giving a fake sign, and chuckled she said, "You told me, right?"

Yes, he knew he was right, but to him, it wasn't the time nor place to say he told her so. Sighing, Jacob rotated and sat next to her draping his brawny left arm over her shoulder's, with his right hand he grasped her chin forcing her to look at him. With the purest honesty, Jake stated, "I hate seeing you like this kid."

Those light eyes Jacob saw, quickly vanished. Her brows pressed together and the substitute was an irate stare.

"Stop calling me that," she uttered through her gritted teeth, " I'm gonna be eighteen, I not a kid!"

" Sor-ry," he apologized throwing his arms in the air, surrendering. " Why'd he break up with you?"

"I'm sure there's many reasons," she answered looking straight ahead into the bathroom. Slowly, she lowered her ear to his shoulder continuing, " One being, he doesn't like our relationship."

"We don't have a relationship anymore."

"Friendship," Ness corrected, "He didn't like our friendship."

Jacob became scornful, saying, "That was friendship?"

Lifting her head, she glared at him. She could be vulgar if she had to too, but she had yet to apologize for her behavior over the last month. It wouldn't make sense to continue being rude to him.

"Knock it off," she said short, " I didn't want to ruin this one by choosing you over him. I tried really hard not to do that. That's how I screw up each relationship I have."

"Or do they just screw you first?" His whispered. His tone dripped in ridicule and anger.

He was being mean and by that last comment, he sincerely believed she slept around but she disregarded his words. She wanted to apologize and here he was being an ass.

"I know I haven't been a good friend but you don't need to talk to me like that." Feeling like the biggest baby in the world, Ness held back the tears letting her eyes sting. She stated her regret. " I'm sorry I've been a horrible friend."

"I've already forgiven you," he retorted bringing her to another quick hug, " You know that. Now, what else did he say?"

" He was tired of waiting around for me. So, I promised I'd… do it with him tonight. "

_"_You think that after a month you're ready to have…" Pausing he rubbed his temple, realizing that question didn't matter, she'd done the deed. Focusing on the main topic he double checked and asked, "Did you have sex with him?"

Raising her hand, her eyes scanned the rather fancy hotel room. Taking a sigh she ran her hand across the bed comforter as she said, "That's what this was for."

"Did you?" He repeated. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

"As soon as he reached my zipper, I thought _I don't want to regret this."_

"Shouldn't you think that each time?"

She got to the point and her tone wasn't so nice anymore._ "_I stopped him and I told him to give me time, but that wasn't enough. He said that Felix was wrong and that I'm a prude."

"Fuckin' ass holes," Jacob mumbled under his breath.

"He stormed outta here when I told him I wouldn't have sex with him. Not until I felt ready," she almost yelled as she got up and paced the aisle between the beds.

"You're not ready."

" I am ready," she gripped.

Jacob growled with anger and protectiveness, "No you're not."

"I am," she pouted treading around the bed to the window "Only?" she paused opening the curtains," I thought I was ready to do it with him and I not."

Jacob hadn't moved from the bed, he just swiveled the direction of his body so it was easier to see her. "You didn't have sex?" he asked.

"No."

"Good girl," he cheered and smiled gawking at her back. Jacob's eyes slowly gazed down and took in the perfection of her body and toned legs.

" Why am I never enough?" Her tone was murky with the lowest self-esteem, "If there's no sex involved I'm not worth it."

Jacob couldn't accept the words that left her mouth. _Did she really think she was no more than a piece of ass? _"You are worth it," he reassured, " Have you ever considered that maybe they're not good enough for you?"

Ness asked herself that question while peering out the window. The moon was big and bright, casting it's light on the clouds that were rolling in from the south. No one has ever been good enough for her, maybe no one ever will be. In that second she swore she'd never get involved with a with a man unless she knew she was unable to live without him, until she knew he was the most important thing in her life.

Jacob's cell rang and Ness peeked over her shoulder to see him staring at her. It continued to ring and Ness turned to look at him saying, " Your phones ringing."

Retreiving the phone from his pocket he shut his phone off and tossed it on the ottoman by her overnight bag. It warmed her heart to know he was putting his full attention on her.

"Nessie, you are good enough. Any, decent, guy would sell his soul to the devil to call you his. "

She turned to see his honest face, but she couldn't believe him. Over the last four weeks Nahuel had slowly broke her down. And thought she was aware of what that jerk had done, she believed every word he said.

"Nahuel says I'm to goody-goody, I don't drink or put out. I don't have the ability to have fun."

"What, you don't have fun because you don't go to house parties every weekend and get drunk? Or is it because you won't fuck him? If being drunk and screwing all the time is how he describes fun, that I'm one of the most boring people on the face of this earth."

Jacob stepped around the bed to stand at her side. Grabbing her shoulder's said, " Last I check Ness, there's nothing wrong with choosing to go on a hike instead of doing a keg stand or actually studying instead off _studying. _There is nothing wrong with wanting to hold off on sex. I don't want to say I told you so but, I told you that's the only reason he wanted to get with you."

"I'll listen to you next time, okay?" she cried.

"I'm not mad."

"But you're disappointed in me," she sniffled.

"I'm not," Jacob said and kissed her forehead. He pulled her into another tight hug saying, "I'm proud of you, you did the right thing tonight."

Her hands encircled his waist returning the gesture but she couldn't feel him, all she felt was the stupid tux. Letting go, she moved her hands to the inside of his tux jacket and attempted to hug his but the constriction of his tux was irritating her. As she unbuttoned his jacket and struggled to get it off him, Jacob laughed asking, "What are you doing?"

Stepping back from Jacob she gave a weak smile. "I just want to hug you without that stupid jacket," she pouted with her bottom lip out.

Chuckling to himself, he took the jacket off and threw it on the accent chair in the corner of the room.

Renesmee smiled and took one step to him. Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck pressing her body more to his. It was an action Jacob found surprising, she's never done that before. So, he reacted and Ness willingly allowed his firmer than usual embrace. They've hugged plenty of times, but this is the first time they've ever embraced one another longer than ten seconds.

Jacob couldn't help himself, he kissed her cheek. When he did so, for the first time, Renesmee could see herself being with Jacob. She knew Jacob was solid, he was a genuinely good guy and he cared about her. On top of all that, he was gorgeous and her best friend. Burrowing her face into the crook of his neck, she knew she could always rely on him. Jake was the one man she can depend on and that thought made her grin to herself. He reassured her that she was worth it and no other guy has ever done that for her besides him.

_If only he didn't see me as only a sister._

Since she had her apology out of the way, there was one thing that was bothering her. He really believed she was the school slut.

Renesmee pulled her head back to look him the eyes. She kept a strong embrace on Jacob as he looked down to her. He's never been so close to her face before, and he noticed the true color of her eyes, they weren't brown like he always thought, they held the slightest tint of green.?

"Jacob, I just won't put out cuz a guy wants to sleep with me," she informed not removing her stare from him. He patted her head and rested his palm of her cheek. From his stare she could tell he understood and believed her. There was an amazing sense of comfort Ness felt from Jacob, he was the only person she's ever been completely honest with and put a hundred and ten percent of her trust in him. She assumed he knew that, but the only thing he's never questioned was her promiscuity. She wasn't sure if he was saving them from an awkward conversation or trying to ignore the 'so-called' truth. With the rumors in mind, she remembered what could have been happening with Nahuel at the very second. Tearing up she said,"I want to be loved, is that so bad?"

His hand on still on the small of her back, he tucked back whatever stray hair was in her face saying, "No, baby it's not."

Without a second thought Ness tilted her head up and pressed her lips to his.

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** I know that was a long chapter but I don't like to split scenes. SO what's your conclusion of this chapter? Did I do okay? And what do you think has happened to them in the past? What do you think will happen in the next chapter? WHat do you want to happen? Suggestions welcomed.

**Thanks to:** _russetfurbur, labellashai27, indianfaether1994, patty(heart)cake, luv2beloved, scorpiusroselover, blackPhoenix-2009, -goldsworthy-stewart, Emmsa12, MissBeach, Binx12, veraleeon, sophia _I appreciate all you're reviews and support. I apologize if I forget to mention anyone.

**Chapter 6 preview:**

_Taking hold of Renesmee's head, he rested his forehead to hers and roughly whispered, "You can't keep doing this Ness, you can't."_

___His judgmental eyes carved into the side of her face, she hated to think he thought of her as a slut. She had the means to verify the truth, she could do tonight, prove she wasn't a prude and show him that she wasn't as easy as he thought._

___"Doing what?"_

_"Offering yourself like, like you're, like you're worthless, like a slab of meat. You're special okay? Save yourself for someone you can trust, someone that cares about you, a guy that means something to you."_

_She would give herself to someone she could trust, a guy that cares about her, someone that meant something to her. Her Jacob._


	7. Fueled Action

**_Author's Note:_** I'm determined to make this story good, so I re-edited this chapter. There are a few changes, such as the title and quote at the beginning as well as minor grammical errors and word placement. Update for chapter eight will be up within 24 hours. So stay tuned. -3H

_

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__"Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you."  
_

**Chapter SEVEN - Fueled Action-**

To say she was worth it was the kindest thing any guy had ever said to Renesmee. Surprising and great emotions bubbled in her stomach, it tensed all the muscles her body and she had drawback with the breath she was about to take. The sensation was very unfamiliar, one she's never experienced. Mistaking the feeling for gratitude, Ness thought her best friend deserved to be kissed for his undying devotion to her.

Renesmee had no doubt in her mind that her best friend was wonderful. He went over and beyond for her and she really loved him for it. The boy was, in all honesty, meritorious. Strong enough to keep her safe from any kind of harm, supportive enough to allow her to make her own mistakes, loyal enough so she could be truthful with him, caring enough that she was able to cry on his shoulder and he would never complain. Him being very attractive was an additional quality , though this was something she would never willing admit to anyone. It was something she had yet to acknowledged herself.

In that moment, as their lips touched, she prayed she would find a man, one day, as magnificent as her Jacob. That one guy she would not be able to walk away from or say goodbye to. Possibly, that man was standing in front of her? As they kissed the very question ran through her mind.

Much to Nessie's surprise, Jacob's lips were soft and his arms swathed around her was more than soothing, it felt right and in his arms she was secure. Each deepened the kiss. By now, Jacob was in a state of faultless ecstasy. Could this girl, he had fallen for nearly four years ago, actually be kissing him? He had to keep his eyes remained opened, just to be sure. From his vision she was blurry but she was in fact touching their lips and pressing her soft body to his hard body. On top of that, she made the first move, making the entire state of affairs unfathomable. Renesmee parted her lips, gliding the tip of her tongue against Jake's own. With their lips connected and as there tongues danced Jacob literally had shivers go down his spine.

Jacob's could no longer simply have his arms wrapped around Ness's waist. He rested his hand on the small of her back and the opposite trailed up her back, over her neck and stopped to securely cradle her head. Brown auburn locks were intertwined among each of his fingers. In return she copied his action by massaging his scalp, pressing his lips harder against hers. The way Jacob handled Renesmee caused a moan to escape her throat.

For Jacob, he has kissed a wide verity of girls and by far this had been the paramount of them all, as well as the most meaningful. He had hope, that things amid them would be different, more passionate and quixotic.

She pulled away and turned her head emitting a small hick-up. Exposing her neck to Jake, he nibbled at it, sending her into a fit of giggles. Attempting to get out of his hold she pushed him away but he continued to tickle her neck with his tongue.

"Stop it," she laughed doing her best to push him away from her neck, but he wouldn't cut it out. Laughing, she continued to try and wiggle her way from his hold but she failed. Taking vengeance upon him, her arm rotated up and over his neck, getting him in a head lock. He tried to get out of her tight hold. Additionally to Jake's immobility, Ness just put more effort in trying to drag him down with her full weight but she couldn't make him budge.

Finally, Jake discontinued from sucking her neck, hoping that she would quit putting too much strain on his neck. He, after all, did have his last few baseball games and to have a sore neck through all nine innings, wouldn't be fun to deal with. The petite girl didn't let up, so Jacob went back to suck the pulse point on her neck. In return, Ness kicked at his ankle wanting him to lose his footing and drop to the ground. However, her action back fired when he did plunge forward, pinning her to the firm mattress.

Neither thought a thing of it, they've been in countless wrestling matches, each, Jacob allowed Renesmee to claim the win. He recovered from the fall and continued gnawing at her neck. Trying to retaliate, the only thing she thought of was to tickle his side. But like a flash, Jacob got a hold of her wrists and restrained them above her head. Ness quit fighting once she realized his weight restricted her breathing, then she took notice that he was lying on top of her still caressing her neck with his lips. All to quickly it became less ticklish and more of a rouse.

"Jake," she whimpered in such a tone, that let Jake know that he had turned a switch on in her.

Arranging himself between her thighs, he freed her wrists and her hands instantly bewitchingly crawled around him. When he was aware that her fingernails dug into the material that covered his shoulder blades, he hesitantly brought his hand to her hip bone, where he kept a tight grip on it. Renesmee didn't object, which gave him more courage. Gradually, he permitted himself to let his right hand caress the smooth skin of her left leg.

Renesmee wasn't sure if this was a good idea, she couldn't jeopardize their friendship. The only problem was the girl couldn't stop herself, it felt natural. With him, she didn't feel judged, susceptible or uncomfortable. It was only her and Jacob sharing a spur of the moment thing. She found it quite amusing.

Both their stimulated breathing became constrained and their moaning was more present. Jacob had the exact thoughts as the girl his lips were locked to_._ He wondered if their friendship would be in question after this. Incessantly, he repeated in his head_, I have to stop, she's masking her pain from the break up. I have to stop… _He knew he should, but she was so willing, she made the first move. _I have to stop_, he repeated, _but this is all I ever wanted. _

Renesmee's recovery from a break up ran like clockwork. Following a break up she was in another relationship within weeks. Jacob couldn't be the next on her list of exes, that's not what he wanted. He didn't want things to change so quickly between them, he wanted her to mature and become her own. Once that had happened, they could be serious about one another.

Renesmee reached for his chin pushing him away from her swollen lips. After she gasped for air, she turned her head and let out a small belch. She made sure to bring the back of her hand over her mouth and keep her lips tightly pressed shut not wanting Jacob to smell the putrid aftertaste of booze, mouthwash and the acidic stench of vomit. Jacob let out a quiet laughter and Ness followed suit with an alluring smirk.

Neither could take their gaze away from the other. Getting lost in Jake's tan eyes, Renesmee instinctively cupped his face with both hands. Heat and pulsation radiated in Nessie's southern core. It was so enticing and the most salacious she's ever been. And Jacob, for the first time ever, saw a look she has never gave him. The look of desire sparkled in her eyes, the way the sun would reflect a body of water. It left him insanely pleased and entirely mortified. Unable to resist her, Jacob compressed his lips to her mouth again. Almost instantaneously Nessie's mouth went agape, authorizing Jake that his tongue was allowed to slide in.

As their tongues touched, he could taste an unpleasant was a sharp taste of alcohol and mint on her breath. Right way he questioned the state of mind she was in.

Swiftly, he pulled away and lifted himself off her. Standing up, he noticed the hem of her navy blue dress made its way to her hip exposing a silky pair of black underwear. The sight left him paralyzed. Gulping, he looked away merely to spot the upright stance of her nipples underneath the thin cotton knitting of her dress. He watched her chest rapidly lift and fall as she laid on her back catching her breath. Going to fix his pants, he wondered why she wasn't readjusting her dress.

"Have you been drinking?" he asked almost disgusted loosening the confinement in his slacks.

Raising her hand to the air, she pinched her index finger and thumb together squealing, "Only a little."

His heart sank as she admitted that she had been drinking. Was the alcohol the only thing fueling her attraction to him? It was merely a fueled action, on her part.

Not sure what to say to her admittance he said, "You don't drink though."

Simultaneously, Ness sat up fixing the position of her dress and Jacob took a seat next to her. She replied, "No but after Nahuel started undressing me, I took a breather and had a drink. I thought it would loosen me up, get me in the mood."

Jacob kicked into defensive mode forgetting what had just occured. He lifted a leg onto the bed, so his shoulders were angled to her. Resting his hand on her bare knee, he asked, "Did he hurt you or touch you?"

Collapsing again flat on her back, she rolled her eyes mumbling, "No." She didn't want to be reminded about what happened a few hours ago, she wanted to forget she ever dated the nimrod, as well as the rest of her exes.

"How much did you drink?"

Throwing her forearm over her eyes, she pointed to the mini bar. She tried to hide her frustrate tone as she said, "I had a shot of Jack's but that's about it, I already threw up my dinner."

Patting her soft flat belly he chuckled, "Your weak stomach can't handle alcohol Ness."

Nessie's heart dropped at the contact of his hand to her abdomen. Covering her face from him, she felt the tension between her eyebrows from the scowl she was making. She could't understand this foreign affect Jacob was having on her soul.

"Not at all," she sniggered in her words, propping herself up on her elbows.

Glancing down upon her, he was baffled as to how a seventeen year old would be able to check into a casino hotel. His hands raised, asking her, "If there's alcohol how'd you get this room? You're not even eighteen."

The timorous young man, turned his head away as she rubbed her shin with the bottom of her opposite foot, exposing her undergarments again, and showing even more skin to him. Jake was positive now, she was wearing a silk thong with lace applique at the sides under her hipbones. She countered nonchalantly, watching her foot, "My aunt Rose."

At the name, Ness heard a grunt rumble from Jacob's chest. Jacob never liked her aunt Rose, she was vain and a stupid blonde in his opinion. And her getting a hotel room for her seventeen year old niece on prom night, proved his view on her correct.

"She knew you were going to have sex with Nahuel?" he snarled pressing his brows tightly together, losing his tie.

"Yeah," she shrugged, "She gave me the key yesterday."

"Why would she-" he shook his head, "I knew there was a reason I didn't like her."

"She doesn't seem to care for you much either."

"I know. Why?"

"Who knows?" Ness pondered rolling over on her side, propping her head up with her hand, "it doesn't matter."

"Yeah it does, I want your family to like me," he said now tugging at his tie, opening the curtains slightly.

Renesmee watched her finger draw Jacob's name into the comforter. Recognizing what she was doing, she stopped her self and retorted, "They do, especially my mom she loves you. She swears she knew you in another life."

"Maybe?" Jake responded giving up on undoing his tie completely pulling the thing over his head.

Renesmee observed him almost majestically sit at her left on the bed. With the tie around his wrist, he rolled the sleeves of his white collared shirt. Because his muscular arms they wouldn't roll up past his forearm. Jacob's large hand struggled with the top button of his shirt. Ness sat up and unfastened the top button for him while he continued talking, "I think I was enemies with your father in another life. He doesn't like me, does he?"

"If he hated you, we'd know."

Minutes of comfortable silence passed leaving both teenagers confounded. Jake expected things to be weird but they weren't and he praised God for that.

Though, Ness was uncomfortable because Jacob wasn't making eye contact with her anymore, he was fidgeting with the tie. Eventually, he tossed the grey tie to the accent chair where his jacket was draped across the wing of the chair. Ness curiously viewed Jacob like a kid that trapped a bug in a mason jar. He pulled a prom ticket from his pocket and with a great amount of intent, he picked at the edges attempting to flatten them out. Heaving his wallet from another pocket he pushed the ticket into the sleeve. After folding it up he chucked his wallet on the amethyst died chair where his articles of clothing were placed upon."This is a memorable senior prom," he verbalized in the saddest way. Ness didn't know exactly why he spoke in the dissatisfied manner but she had a feeling it was her fault.

Leaning forward Jake rested his elbows on his knees, seeing that the moon had completely disappeared from the sky. Ness scooted closer to Jacob and looked out the window with him. She didn't know what was so interesting about a parking lot full of cars but she tucked her feet back, crossed her arms and rested her head on Jake's shoulder joining him in observance.

"Looks like it might rain," he said while scratching at the gray material of his trousers. She noticed that he hadn't shown up to prom in a black and white tux but a gray tweed suit, that fit him like a glove.

"Mmhmm," she mumbled agreeing with him.

In truth, the damned weather wasn't on his mind, he was thinking about what he had just shared with his best friend, wishing the events that lead to their make out session were different. He wanted her to love him, not be used so she could forget about what Nahuel had literally just done to her. Ness was known to have quick rebounds and he didn't want to be that, he couldn't be the next notch in her bedpost. She never dealt with a break up, she moved on by throwing herself at the next guy to be engrossed by her. She kept the break ups on the back burner of her mind by making a new boyfriend her priority.

Chewing at the inside of her cheek, without thinking Ness interrupted his thoughts and mumbled, "I really messed up tonight."

Taking hold of Renesmee's head, he rested his forehead to hers and roughly whispered, "You can't keep doing this Ness, you can't."

"Doing what?"

Releasing her head he stated, "Offering yourself like, like you're, like you're worthless, like a slab of meat. You're special okay? Save yourself for someone you can trust, someone that cares about you, a guy that means something to you."

Stiffening at his comment, Ness turned and looked out the window once again. _He doesn't know shit, s_he said in her head.

Patiently, through the years she waited for him to ask her about her past sex partners but he never did. She wanted to be completely honest with him because this subject of her ex boyfriends was the only thing that ever caused an argument between them. Each time the conversation headed that way, Jacob changed the subject and Ness was partially thankful.

His judgmental eyes carved into the side of her face, she felt it. She hated to think he thought of her as a promiscuous girl. She had the means to verify the truth, she could do that tonight. She wanted to prove to him, that she wasn't as easy as he thought and that she wasn't necessarily a prude either. As of that very moment, it wasn't just a want, it was a requirement.

To her, Jacob was perfect, he could do no wrong. He never does do anything wrong. He was right, as always. With knowing this she would give herself to someone she could trust, a guy that cares about her, someone that meant something to her. Her Jacob.

If he accepted her proposition it couldn't be wrong, perhaps it meant they were more than what she had assumed. Either way it didn't matter to her, she wanted to see what the fuss was about sex and she discover that with her best friend. What could be wrong about that?

* * *

**AUTHOR'S (original) NOTE:** I've been so lazy woth my writing, I apologize life has been getting in the way but here it is. Had to break this chapter in two parts. Part two is coming soon. I decided whoever reviews gets the next chapter preview. I know, I'm cruel, but I want to know all you're opinions and not even half of my "subscribers" review. And with this, all who review won't get the same chapter preview so please review. Also I'll name drop you so look for your user name below. Do any of you question Jacob's past relations or just Ness's? I wonder if this outcome in this chapter was what you expected.

**THANKS TO: **kapech, renee0909, dkgors, chritbella, musiclover, iXloveXjacob, Dazzler916, mewootwoot, LaBellaShai27, SMG., jemmac77, T-Rex93, Mzzvirgo, Tashay789, M.D12, luv2beloved, Efficient Vixen, cocopucks, soundwave37 and Patty(heart)cake as always thanks for your review. I appreciate all your reviews, story alerts, author alerts, favorite author, favorite story and all that.


	8. Rejected

_"It's so crazy, you walked into the room that day, just like every other day except this time, my heart skipped a beat."_

**Chapter EIGHT –Rejected-**

Clouds of gray, filled the night sky and freed the rain it detained. The day started out bright and warm like a mid May day should be, and throughout the evening it stayed an ideal temperature. Ness was astonished how rapidly the weather had changed much like the heat in the room had altered. A few minutes ago Ness was running a fever from their encirclement in one another, at the present she was as freezing as the appearance on Jake's face.

Arching over, Jacob purposely had his elbows on his knees and his fingers laced tightly. Ness observed his frozen face, deep in thought. His vision was stuck on the world outside the hotel room. All in all, he had a broken expression of pouty lips, furrowed brows and a deep daunting stare. Raising one of her milky hands, she reached out wanting to caress the side of his face but with his menacingly depressed aura, she couldn't possibly comfort him, he was unapproachable. Pulling her hand away, she pressed her forefinger 's nail in her mouth.

He was entirely stuck in his mind, so much so that he didn't notice Nessie's hand inches away from his cheek. The characteristics of despair remained his façade. It was a familiar look he'd get upon his face when Ness mistakenly asked about his mother. The tan of his skin seemed paler, not even the exciting flash of the casino's advertising, could falsely brightened his glum appearance. All the vitality of her friend appeared drained. Her heart broke to see him this way, but she was not certain why he looked so miserable.

Not moving his gaze away from the window, Jake thought of what he desired and that was that Renesmee and he could be. He pictured her emotionally dependent on herself, matured and finally full of common sense. Not that she necessarily lacked it, but she thought as most teenagers do, like she was invincible and always right. Though, that was a bit contradictory since she had just admitted he, was in fact, always right.

He doubted the actions that took place a mere five minutes earlier. She had, had alcohol in her system which may have impaired her judgment. That killed him. Shaking his head, he knew how immature she was, he was sitting in a hotel room that was proof of it. A seventeen year old submitting herself to a guy she'd been with only a month was stupid. Where was her mind?

It saddened him even more to know that some people never grow up and learn to be commonsensical or realistic. It frightened him to think Ness was one of those people. Jaks called upon God countless times, praying Nessie would become simple, get settled as an adult, become rational and be sincerely happy with her life. He sunk into his selfishness praying that she would be his one day.

Moving a hand up, he scratched at his brow releasing a sigh from his nostrils. Bending his head down, he no longer cared what happened out the window, it was only rain after all.

Ness wanted him to be her happy go lucky Jacob again, she missed it. It's been over a month since she's seen his genuineness. Their friendship had gone into reverse and now all that their friendship held was that stupid sibling love. Perhaps, she was at fault for that, she knew she was. She had treated him horribly since being with Nahuel and she acknowledged that. Although, she appreciated the protective and caring Jake, she just wanted to hear his booming throaty laughter and see his breathtaking smile. Each time she'd witness those acts, she couldn't help but chuckle and grin herself getting full gratification out of his glee.

If he was like any other guy, what she was about imply, would have him showing those pearly teeth and smiling eyes Ness loves so much. She starved for it.

Ness looked down to her chest preparing herself. She assumed upper body wasn't what Jake was fond of. He had always been with a chesty women. Charlene, as well as Leah's, were noticeably larger than her average sized B cup but they must have been decent if she catches guys taking glances at them. Even Jacob did once or twice. Mortified Ness saw the buds that had swelled on each of her breasts. Lifting her folded arms to cover herself, she regretting not wearing a bra. She wondered if her nipples were hard the entire night?

Sighing she knew she had nothing to be humiliated about, because this was Jacob, her non judgmental pal. They've talked about numerous uncomfortable topics like her use of tampons, boys masturbation and together they've even experienced her parents grunts during their love making in the late afternoons. _Ugh!_ She shivered at the thought but the last time they witnessed that together, she could only imagine Jacob lying on top of her while she screamed, _harder._

Nessie blushed at that, and covered her face with one hand. _I really am perverted_, she rolled her eyes.

The girl had been around the block a few times, well, she's done enough to know what an orgasm was and she knew Jake necessarily innocent either. All she could think was how much she wanted to experience that feeling of release with someone, she in every respect, loved and cared about. And like Jake said, _Give yourself to someone you can trust_, and that was him.

Nessie found herself in a blank stare to the tweed like fabric on the plumb stained chair, pass glancing Jacob's face. Deep in thought, she couldn't take her eyes from the belonging Jacob had placed upon the chairs. Biting at her fingernails, anxiously, the nail polish was beginning to chip off.

_It's now or never Ness._ Taking a gigantic huff, her line of vision shifted him. Going to speak, she felt her heart speed up and nothing came out. _Okay, Nessie, it's only Jacob_, she reassured herself,_ if he was a friend he'd share this one thing with you. He loves you, maybe even likes you? _

She could dream couldn't she? To her, everything was suddenly so confusing. She didn't even know if she liked Jacob more than a friend, yes she was fascinated with him as well as attracted to him but in love? However, she hadn't felt with Jacob, what she has felt with any other guy.

_JUST DO IT! _She shouted in her mind_, ONE-TWO-THREE- Go!_

At the thought of _Go!_ Ness pulled herself up to kneel on the mattress, wrapping her arms around Jake's shoulders.

"Jake?" she muttered, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"Hmmm?" he answered not rotating his look to her.

Whispering into his ear she stated, " I want to have sex."

"Oh-kay?" he replied confused, rubbing the sole of his shoe against the patterned carpet.

The sound of her murmured hint didn't faze him like she hoped, he only stared at his shiny dress shoe with his hands in his lap. Trying to clasp her hands together as she hugged Jacob's wide shoulders, she sat on the heels of her feet lifting her chin from his shoulder bone. As she did so, she was thinking, _Maybe he really doesn't see me that way, do I think of him that way?_

Only he didn't think she meant her comment of wanting sex was aimed at him, he believed that alcohol was talking and that was the reason she was ready to perform.

However, Ness felt daring, she wouldn't stop until he said no, not until he rejected her. Suggestively, she lifted her left leg and placed it over Jacob's lap. Like in many of Jacob's daydreams and dreams in general, she straddled him while on her knees. The dress that hugged her thighs rode up and she felt the draft of the room's cold air across her backside. She roughly gripped his neck, looking to him feverishly.

"With you," she informed with a huffed breath.

Jacob acknowledged that if he were to elevate the hands in his lap, he could touch the most intimate part of his friend. If she wasn't on her knees and she choose to sit on his lap, she would be surprised to find her core was on his hands. So cautiously, Jacob stiffened like steal, not wanting to accidently violate her. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut not wanting to be tempted by her eyes, her lips not her smirk. He fought hard not to become aroused, he pictured himself relaxing on a warm beach, fiddling in his garage on a new project, taking his physics final, he even went to the extreme length as to remember the day of his mother's funeral but nothing worked to redirect his thoughts of Nessie's allurement.

"Jake?" she whispered making circles on the back of his neck with a fingertip.

After inhaling a giant breath, he only mumbled, "Hm?" Her touch was tensing and soothing his body simultaneously with a sensation of tingling. This was becoming painful to sit still and not lay a finger on the girl of his dreams. This was past the point of being buddy-buddy, Ness was acting very affectionate and lascivious. It was the way a girlfriend or wife would act on Saturday night after a week of celebacy, not as a best friend after a month of being disconnected.

"Did you hear me?" she paused but Jacob was striving to not think that she was slightly inches from him by painting a distracting picture in his head.

"I want to have sex with you," she repeated. Begging. She firmly planted a chaste kiss on his lips to make her point clear.

His eyes opened wide as he questioned, "What?" In dumbfounded shock, Jake's mouth hung open watching her. The poor boy was tryin to process but her appeal was distracting.

Ness simple gave a crooked smile that held a heated longing he's always desired from her. Her hand rubbed at his neck and trailed down his chest. She pushed her touch harder to his stomache so she could feel each ripple on his abdomen through his high thread conted cotton shirt, then she rested her palm at his navel.

Grazing her middle finger across her lower lip Jacob eyed her exertion to bait him. Her hand snaked from her mouth, and her palm caressed her jaw then down her neck. Her hand descended through the center of her cleavage and with both hands she clenched at the hem of her dress between her legs.

Nessie felt absolutlely ridiculous acting seductively but it came naturally and with the look on Jacob's face she seemed to be succeeding.

She pinned her lower lip between her teeth and becoming a little to bold Ness moved her hand to her ribs and tugged at the zipper of her dress. Jacob moved his hands from his lap accidently brushing against her inner thighs. The contact made Ness gasp. Covering her hand with his own, he stopped her from moving the zipper any further down. Ness cocked her head baffled.

"You are drunk."

"No, I'm not," she said as she shook her head.

"You just suggested we have sex," he stated zipping her dress back up, "if you're not drunk, you're high."

" I had one of those tiny bottles over an hour ago!" she exclaimed pointing her forefinger to the tiny wet bar in the room," That's hardly the equivalent to a shot…." She waited for his reply but it didn't come soon enough. She didn't know why she was fuming at him but she was. She yelled, "I'm not drunk! I'm not high. I want to..." Wrapping her arms around his neck she affirmed, " …with you. I really do."

Stunned that she was being forward and that he hadn't touched her as he wanted, he questioned, "Why?"

"Why not?" she whined as if a child had just been denied a piece of candy.

"Ness? I don't?" he paused. Sliding his hands up her legs, Ness almost couldn't stand him touching her, it left her dizzy. Slowly, his fingertips inched their way up until they rested on the chilled skin of her buttock. Happy with his counter, she hugged him tightly pressing herself to him. Standing on his feet, he picked her up with him and mechanically her legs wrapped around his middle. Flipping her over he laid her down on the mattress. Hovering over her, he had one knee positioned on the bed and the other firmly on the floor. He kissed her forehead lightly, passionately. She smiled, satisfied that he was giving in but that smile faded when he said, "I don't' think so?"

Slanting, back he stepped away from the bed mummbling, "I don't know?"

Instantly, Ness stood up seething. Marching closer to him, with out hesitation, she pushed at his shoulder. " I don't get you? I'm throwing myself at you and you don't know?"

Walking away from her, his head hung low. Collecting his things from the accent chair, he barely verbalized, "Nessie, you've been drinking more than you should. Get your things and I'll take you home."

"No!" she complained rushing to his side. She stood in front of him, so he would look her in the eyes.

" My parents think I'm staying out here with my Aunt Rose and Uncle Emmett."

As he placed his wallet in his pocket he had yet to look at her as he asked, "Do you really you think your parent's 'll care if you come home early?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they planned a twenty four hour love in," after a short pause she asked for an answer to her offer, "Yes or no?"

Nervously he reached back to scratch his neck and countered, "I'm sorry Ness. Go take a cold shower or something, clear your mind. Get that alcohol completely out of your system."

As he buttoned up his shirt put she hissed, "Is that a no?"

He couldn't bring himself to speak the simple to letter word. To say no to her would be a whopper of a lie. So he answered as gentle as he could, by ignoring her question.

Jacob threw the tie over his neck and grabbed his jacket preparing to vacate the modern room. Finally, making eye contact he politely ordered, "Go take a shower. I'll be back later to check on you."

Standing at the bedside, she was flabbergasted at his refusal. Not knowing what to do, she replied, "The key's by the T.V."

He ambled his way through the room, snatching the hotel key card on the way out. When he turned the door handle, Ness called to him.

"Jacob?"

Turning he looked to her and that melancholy look upon his mug was even worse than before. She stood in front of the rain covered window, each droplet collecting the light from the outside. Biting at her fingernail, she looked at the floor unable to look at the man that rejected herself, she hid the buds beneath her dress again scrutinizing herself, hating herself for not being what he wanted. She collected all the audacity in her and glared at him.

Her stare hit Jacob like the strike of a lightning bolt. It was sudden, violent and a bit frightening. Tonight they shared a lot of firsts, and this was the very first time Ness has given such a ruthless stare. He knew she was angry. Raising her chin, with more dignity than ever, she stated, "You're never gonna get another chance like this again."

Unable to speak, he walked out through the heavy hotel room door. Numb.

Ness jogged over to the door and locked it. Out of sheer humiliation, she covered her mouth preventing any noise to escape and tears trickle down her cheek. First her boyfriend dumps her because she wouldn't have sex with him, then she idiotically offers herself to the one man she's ever trusted and he denies her. In her opinion that meant she was repulsive, in one way or the other. Was she not pretty enough? Did Jake not like her body type? Was she too thin or not thin enough? Did he like tone or soft curves? What was wrong with her? The thought of his rejection began eating away at her. How could Jacob sit at her side and swear she was worth it, that any good man would sell his soul to the devil to be with him, when he walked away from something that she was so willingly desperate to share with him.

No she wasn't in love, but she wanted to experience the act of love making with one man she had full trust in. Jacob somehow, held the title of reliable, even more so than her father. It was strange, but she knew if daddy couldn't help her, Jacob would. And in this case, she much rather have Jacob helping her than daddy. He was a man she could maybe fall in love with. However, from her understanding, Jacob saw her no more than a sister and that irritated her to no end.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Between each grunt of_ stupid_ she banged her head against the door. Knowing he was going to come back to check on her, she unlocked the spare dead blot on the door.

Waiting on for the elevator, Jacob paced wondering if he and Renesmee would have a friendship any longer.

The toll of the bell, informed him that the elevator had stopped on the fourth floor. The doors opened advising him to get in and ride it down to the lobby but he couldn't step through knowing Ness was alone in the room upset. When the doors closed he was thankful. If he was to spot Nahuel down stairs, he'd take out not only all the rage he held for what Nahuel had done to Ness that night, but all the resentment he held against each ex Ness had. Thus, he leaned against the wall and sank to the carpet floor.

With a cluttered mind, Jacob sat and pondered, _What if this is the only chance I have to make Nessie see me more than a friend? _

Her words resonated in his ears, Y_ou'll never get another chance like this again._

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Alright, I'm so excited for the next chapter. I wonder if you guys have any clue what will happen? How do you think Jacob's going to react to this situation? What about Ness? Here's some answer to your questions: I promise we will get the exboyfriend previous lovers thing sorted out. Jacob will tell her how he feels...sooner or later. Jake's in for a big surprise. In a later chapter we will see the strange reason why Rosalie dislikes Jacob. Jake is being hypocritical with his accusations of Renesmee's promiscuity but like efficient Vixen said it's good to have flaws in characters. FYI- they won't be a couple for a majority of this story but you'll see major tension between them, and I'm not talking angry tension, I'm talking heated sexual tension. (I'm learning how to translate that into words.) Also, I hope you see the confusion in Nessie's heart, she doesn't understand what she feels for Jacob is love because it's unlike anything she's felt for any other guy.

**Thanks to: **nfanpepsi, 0fficials3xcs3xc, Binx12,LaBellaShai27, dkgors, lemondewdrop, AugustFirst, luv2beloved, Tashay789, MioneWriter007, Efficient Vixen, chritbella, emerald red, kaybh2009 and as always thank you patty(heart)cake I love you and you're long reviews make me smile.

Another note as for Last Sunrise/Gravity if you're waiting on that, let me know what's missing from the story so I can tie lose ends. The chapter is getting done slowly but surely it'll be up soon.


	9. Thoughts and Tension

_"Sex alleviates tension, love causes it."_

Chapter NINE_ -Thoughts and Tension-_

At the moment Jacob stepped foot out of the hotel room, Renesmee did as he asked and planned to take a shower. Dragging her feet, she made her way into the luxurious bathroom, only to be greeted with a mirror that held the reflection of a broken little girl. And that girl was her. She had tear stained rosy cheeks, no make-up alluring her blood-shot eyes and the pins in her tousled hair were coming lose. Her hair was straying from its original arrangement and her nose flush from her weeping. Out of irritation, from the entire night, she put her fingers through her hair roughing and ratting it up more.

Ness didn't have the technique Alice had, so she began taking out all the bobbin pins, letting the curls fall once again. Untangling her hair she ran her fingers through her locks smoothing the brunette tresses into a presentable shape. In doing so, she could sense the faint smell of her hair spray and apple scented shampoo. Spinning round, Nessie stepped to the enclosed steam shower, adjusting the spigot that controlled the temperature.

As the water regulated itself, she was on the hunt for towels. In searching, she noticed the soft appearance of white lush rob hanging on wall. Lifting it from the hook, she grazed it across her face taking in the fresh linen smell. Next, she marveled at the robe, taking in it's shape and black threaded hemlines. Laying it over the cold countertop, Ness folded and continued to prod at the cotton bath coat with too much intent, like a bored employee at a retail clothing store. Renesmee planned on falling asleep, warm and comfortable, enveloped in the plush robe.

Sucking in a breath, Ness tried hard not to let any tears spill out. She couldn't comprehend why something as trivial as a bath robe or searching for towels, reminded her of Jacob. Nor why the granite countertops resembled the color of his tan eyes, or how the white tiles made her think of his bright smile. Ness cursed at herself, as tears began streaming down her cheeks again. She didn't want to think of him. Jacob's unwelcome face, maintained in her memories as she unexpectedly sensed drowsiness and felt the air become thick with moisture.

The steam escaped from the top of shower stall, encircling Ness and fogging the mirror. Twisting her hair, she piled the ringlets at her crown, clipping it firmly in place. In doing so, she hoped the water didn't dampen her hair in the shower. With the sudden sleepiness that hit her, she didn't want to blow dry her hair or go to bed with it wet. All she sought was to head straight to sleep and forget about the humiliation she put herself through tonight.

Opening the sleek glass shower entry, all the heated vapor rushed out hitting Renesmee's face. Inside the shower, the scorching water surprisingly didn't burn her skin, it caressed her back letting any tension in her neck and shoulders soften up.

Massaging a lather into a washrag with the miniature soap, she rotated her body to let the hot water run down her front. By now, Ness had finished crying but her thoughts were driving her mad. This was beginning to become overly exasperating. Channeling all her rage into getting herself squeaky clean, she scrubbed more foam into the white cloth . Even the stupid tiny soap that slipped from her hand, carried Jacob's presence somehow. The broken little girl was now more of puzzled young woman.

Forcing down her eyelids, she overlooked the fallen soap and stood stationary for a long while, permitting her mind to wonder elsewhere, anywhere besides Jacob Black. For a brief while it did. She remembered life in drizzly Seattle before she knew Jacob, before she ever had the trouble of a boyfriend or unfamiliar emotions. She was back in time, when her only problem was puberty, chores and bickering with her mother. Smirking, she almost missed her mother waiting outside the school yard to pick her up. Everyday they'd stroll down the sidewalks talking, arguing and sometimes stopping by the local cafe for hot chocolate on rainy afternoons. Visions of her past floated around, of the stuffed animals that were on her bed, the yellow walls she and her mother painted in her room and the dining table her family sat at to eat and do various activities. Many nights her and her father did their homework together, eating cold dinners waiting for her mother to come home from her late work shifts. Revisiting her childhood home in her head, she could recall every last crack in the stucco, every power outlet, even the pictures hanging on the wall and every last piece of decor adorning the rooms.

Yet, her brain wasn't loyal to her, Jacob popped back into thought.

Opening Nessie's eyes, she was uneasy with the foreign sensation loitering in her soul. Unexpectedly, the water became colder and she had the notion she was on surveillance. Looking up, she had a mild fear she was being recorded with a video camera but really, what were the possibilities of that? Shaking the thoughts, she grasped the spout twisting it fully to the left. Awaiting the water to get warmer, the girl dawdled, taking in her surroundings.

Nessie's stomach dropped, her body tensed yet again and her eyes went wide when she saw a male figure sitting in the hotel room. She had a fear it was Nahue,l returning to take advantage if her. Her next move was uncertain, thus she continued to clean herself, pretending she didn't see the outline of a man. Scrubbing herself, the water slowly became more heated. Maybe it was in her head? Scrambling to get a escape plan put in motion, she gnawed at the flesh inside her mouth.

_Take another look, _she though_t, your minds probably playing tricks on you._

Having a quick glance, she spotted the shadow relaxed in the room's chair but the room was to dim for the guy's face to be clear. Unable to make out anything through the steam fogged up the glass, Ness rubbed at it making it translucent as it was meant to be. Not being able to see as clearly as she wanted, she scrunched her eyes. When she distinguished the shadow, her body released its tense hold. Presently, she wasn't startled with the boy to any further extent, because she recognized Jake anywhere.

_How long had he been there?_ she considered the question, baffled. What seemed even stranger to her, was that she had not flinched to Jacob's surprise return. If it was any other man, she would have immediately covered herself up angry that her privacy was invaded but she wasn't embarrassed that he had been surveying her for an undisclosed amount of time. Rinsing the soap from her luminous body, she turned the spout, halting all water flow departing from the shower stall.

Jacob arrived in the room not expecting Renesmee to be showering, he'd come back because he needed to speak with her. There were so many unanswered questions and several things left unsaid. Casually, he had taken a seat upon the accent chair in the corner, brazenly watching her shower. She wasn't in full view but he saw small glimpses of her olive toned alabaster skin, the dimples on her lower back, a glistening thigh, a firm breast and more than he ever thought he'd see of her. The sight sent him into an abounding provoked level. He was, after all, a man. Although, he felt a pinch of guilt, he quickly got over it recalling that Ness was ready to expose ever part of her to him not even a half hour ago.

Once her hand came up to the clouded glass and she narrowed her eyes to Jacob, his stomach tightened, like preparing for a punch to the gut.

Uncertain as to why he returned to the room, Ness grabbed the robe and draped it across her body. Tentatively, she moved deeper into the room as Jacob came to his feet. For a brief second, she wanted to shout and lash out at him, advertising the hatred her heart held for him. The closer she got, the more coherent his distraught face became. Forgetting about her indignation, she was troubled that he appeared to, still, be completely miserable and anxious. His lips curved down but they didn't tightened, they kept plump. Brows were furrowed and his eyes were hooded in such a way, that it would dampen anyone's spirits.

Halting, Nessie didn't want to get anywhere near him, because she was so enraged by him. However, her present hunger for Jacob Black didn't die down, it was present now more than ever. The guy had just seen her stark naked and that thrilled her. In some way she hoped that her false hate would overshadow her perplexed mood and sexual attraction to him, but of course it did not.

Although, she starved for contact with Jacob, it wasn't fitting. Since when was seeing your best friend in the nude normal? Best friends aren't supposed to make out or long to be with the other. They should be in a living room playing Scrabble or enjoying a movie together. How come Ness wanted more? Struggling with her impromptu desirous thoughts, she was thinking what she would be doing if she never came to this stupid prom.

It would be like any other Saturday night. If there wasn't a bon fire, Ness would be at Jacob's home, eating pizza with him and his father. Perhaps, even Embry, Quil and Claire would join but usually it was her, Jacob and Billy. In his living room, on the small loveseat, she'd be resting her head on Jacob's lap while he ran his hands through her hair and Billy resting in his recliner. They'd be watching a rented movie digesting their dinner. Eventually, Billy would turn in early, leaving the teenagers alone. Once in a blue moon, when Ness faked being asleep, Billy would call her parents informing them that she had fallen asleep and Jacob would have their daughter home first thing in the morning.

Nessie recalled those special nights, where Jacob and she would have a movie marathon or they'd chat for hours about absolutely nothing. When tiredness did overcome her, they'd be on the couch laying on their sides and Jake would rub her back and pet her crown until slumber took her. Countless times, Ness awoke in the living room enfolded in Jacob's arms. Occasionally, she'd wake up alone, in his room, tucked in his sheets, her face pushed into his pillow with his sweet musky scent invading her nostrils. She'd be warm in his bed with the feeling of overwhelming disappointment. She would find out he carried her off to his bed while he rode the couch leaving her all by her lonesome in his sardine can of a room.

Shockingly, a realization hit her like a drum stick to a snare. She wanted to wake with Jacob's arms around her, no matter where, whether it be under the covers and them pressed tightly together in his tiny bed or on the hardwood floors of his house. Subconsciously, maybe she even hoped their innocent night would take a not so innocent turn. Inhaling deeply, Nessie knew sex complicated things. If things went any further then or now, their friendship would absolutely become damaged and she didn't want that. She needed her Jacob.

Livid, she knew if didn't attend tonight, she wouldn't decipher her hormonal subconscious thoughts. She'd be spending her weekend with her best friend, not ruining a friendship, being rejected or having a second thought about her feelings towards her best friend.

Jacob continued to saunter to Ness, who was lost in her thoughts. He kept stepping towards her, as she didn't want, closing the space between them. Now, face to face, Jacob's lip curved up and he muttered, "Hey."

"Hi…" she responded blankly. With her vacant reply, his face fell instantaneously, upset**. **

"You okay?" she asked genuinely curious about his distress.

"I-I'm fine," he answered, running his knuckles against her cheek. In the manner he did it, she knew he was asking if she was alright.

Truthfully, she wasn't sure, she had just had a huge blow to her ego and the man with the bat was her very best friend. As confused as she was, she allowed Jacob to touch and disregarded any anger she had towards him.

"I'm so sor-" he started. Hastily, something inside Renesmee snapped and the anger was back. Renesmee didn't want an apology, she didn't want to be reminded any of the happenings that night. Most of all, she did not want him reporting to her, that she was unappealing to him.

"Don't," she raised her voice, shoving his hand from her face, "apologize Black, I get it."

"I don't think you do."

"Yeah I do." Her tone had a harsh bite.

To her riposte, he nixed to reply. Due to the circumstances, he didn't know how to calm her or console her. If he knew what to say, the words would have left his lips already.

Sitting on the mattress, she began to explain herself. "You dismissed me like… "

Not wanting him to see the hurt on her face, she rotated leaving her back to him and taking the clip from her hair and tossing it on the night stand. " …Like I'm not, good enough for you. I thought you said I was worth it, I thought…" she snatched up a pillow pondering what to say next. Hugging the pillow firmly, she muttered, "Damn it, I don't know what I thought."

She could feel the mattress sink when he took a seat next to her.

"I never meant to hurt your feelings," he began placing his arm around her shoulder. Right away she shrugged him off. Complying, he removed his arm and rubbed her back continuing, " This is all so complicated."

Nessie's back straightened as he stoked her back and Jacob could feel her tension when he touched her. Taking his hand from her back, he wrung his manly hands together knowing she was displeased with his refusal to bed with her.

"Tonight's just not the right time to act on impulse," Jake uttered after minutes of an uncomfortable silence.

What the hell did he know about impulse? She was the one who harassed him, who pitched the idea to have intercourse. He pulled away so easily with his strength of will. Why did she make a fool of herself?

Instead of screaming at him, she held back and sniffled,"Kay."

"Hey."

" You- you should just go back downstairs," she stuttered standing up.

Here shame was too present to look into his eyes him, so he stared at the back of her head saying, "I don't wanna go back down stairs."

"I would like to be alone right now," Ness responded timidly, gripping the pillow tightly and pivoting on the heel of her foot stepping past him.

"Nessie-"

And without warning, Jacob was assaulted in the face with the pillow she never let go of. Ness finally looked to him yelling, "I have nothing more to say to you, no can you go!"

Rushing off to the bathroom Jacob followed Nessie. Chasing her, he clutch gripped her hips jerking her back. As she collected herself from mild whiplash Jacob spun her around growling, "I can't, not when you're clearly upset about this…"

"I'm not," she countered bringing her hand up to wipe her moistening eye, " just go, please."

A firm grip was around her waist and the tips of their noses were inches away. At a snail's pace Jacob leaned in closer. Ness could feel her heart rate speed, and the sensation of pulsation travelled throughout her body. He wanted so desperately to say, " I love you." He wanted to spill his heart out to her but his lips would not consent. So, he figured he'd show her, just as she wanted.

"My mind is, muddy," Ness said removing Jake's hands from her hip bones, " It's unclear. Like you said it's complicated…"

_It is complicated. Love is complicated_, Jakecontemplated his internal response.

"…Go back to prom, Charlene is probably wondering where you are," she finished stepping back.

He could care less if Charlene was wondering where he was, he didn't even want to go to prom with that blonde manipulator nor did he ever want to have sex with her on those numerous occasions. Jacob only came to prom keep an eye on Ness and to make sure Nahuel didn't force Nessie into a night of sex. _I WANT to be here with you, not Charlene!_ He bellowed and the comment echoed in his head.

Not wanting there to be much space between them, Jacob inched closer to her, resting his palms on the small of her back. Once again, he didn't say what he was thinking, he only replied to Nessie's comment on Charlene questioning where he may be.

"Yeah, probably," he utter then he pulled her close and put his lips to hers. He kissed her with more passion than a half hour earlier. His lips pulled away after the chaste kiss, leaving Ness to contemplate what Jacob had just done. Ness had the fabric of his dress shirt, securely in her hold as he sucked on her jugular. She could feel her knuckles turn white from the taut hold on the white material at his rib cage and she could have swore she was having an outer body experience. Kissing at the hollow behind her ear and her neck, Ness knew Jacob was eager to lay with her. Whatever reasons Jake had for denying her in the first place and why he changed his mind now, Ness didn't care. All she knew was she was about to have sex with a good man and an attractive man at that.

Kissing her on the mouth with more hunger, Jacob drug her to the bed. Floating over her, he kissing at the top of her exposed chest. Showing her gratitude to his cooperation she moaned, "Thank you."

Tonight, Jacob could feel that something special was going to happen.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: What would that special thing be? Hmmmm... Maybe a conception of their love child? Perhaps...Wow, took me long enough update. Right? Ness isn't sure what she's feeling because she's never felt this kind of love before. OH! There's a flashback to how the duo would spend their weekend together and there a little things they would do that aren't what normal friends would do. And I have to say, thanks to all of you who reviewed and favorite-ed, I screwed up and deleted all your guys's names but I will say this...if you review you get the next chapter preview and your name dropped in the next A/N. Also, I won't update this story til I do LS/G. I promise. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	10. The Deed

_"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions"_

**Chapter 10 – The Deed-**

Beneath the bleached out robe, was Renesmee's hidden flesh. No undergarments, only skin. Jacob knew that with the simple tug of the belt around her waist, the material would fall off and he'd see her naked body up close and he'd be able to feel her skin's silkiness beneath his fingertips. Only, he couldn't bring himself to pull at the strap. He wanted her to be at ease with the act that was about to take place. Jake thought it was completely necessary for her to be in control, he needed Ness to know he wasn't taking advantage. All he simply sought, was to express his love for her.

As they continued caressing and kissing, she worried about what Jacob would think of her body's imperfections. Underneath the clothing, she wasn't as firm as she appeared and her skin was so pale. To have him analyze and judge her was never something she worried about. Until now. Under these circumstances, it was obvious he was going to examine and study every curve of her body, and she was terrified. Ness couldn't have him scrutinizing and comparing her to his last endeavors.

The whole making love, became delayed because Renesmee's apprehension. Jacob could tell she was stalling for some reason. Though, he didn't take offense. This was after all Nessie's entire idea so, he went at her pace. Stopping, she fled to the bathroom, leaving a hot and bothered Jacob on the hotel mattress. Tightening her sash with trembling fingers Ness thought, _It's just sex_,_ I'll be another on his list. _That thought alone gave her reassurance that he'd pay no mind to her flaws.

Stepping out of the lavish bathroom Jacob stood at the edge of the bed , waiting for her to join him. With bare feet, Ness leisurely padded her way to Jacob side.

Jacob's face was relaxed and soft, with feebleness. Taking a breath, Ness cracked a smile and looked deeply into his caramel eyes. Reaching out to her, he cupped her face, leaned in and kissed her sweetly, tenderly. He was being patient with her, and taking his time. With his palms still pressed to her cheeks, she peered up to him observing him.

His tan skin, radiated in the dim light and his deep set eyes left her serene, practically hypnotized. _He's an attractive man_, her mind said. The tip of his nose was asking for her to lay a kiss on it and his velvety smirk caused her to become slightly faint. After catching her breath, she stared at Jake's lips and the stubble above them, made Ness realize that he was no longer a boy but a full grown man. Time had flown by so quickly and by this time next year, he'd be in college surrounded by attractive women his own age. He would no longer have the time to be Lil' Nessie's friend. That crushed her. _This may be one of the last nights I get to spend with him_, she assured herself, _it's just sex with your best friend._

Not liking the distance between them, Jacob eased her closer to his body and kissed the concave beneath her ear and behind her jaw. Ness slid back fretfully but Jake wouldn't have that. Going to kiss her,Ness twisted her head, causing Jake's lips to make contact with her cheek. Ignoring her snub, he kept grazing his lips and teeth across her neck.

Pinning her lower lip between her teeth, Ness's mind scram at her, _Why am I acting this way! I wanted this!_

In brief, she almost changed her mind but Jacob found her sweet spot. From the second, his lips made contact with a provoking spot on her neck, she was gone. Without a second thought Ness began undressing him. She started with his poorly tied tie and then she undid his shirt button by button while their lips stayed connected. She removed the shirt off his broad shoulders and was thankful he already did away with his constricting jacket.

Now, everything had developed into urgent need to be with one another. Jacob, now stripped down to his briefs, scooped Ness up and laid her across the bed. Taking his place by her, his hand crawled up her thighs and under her robe. He didn't touch her heated core, like she anticipated. His lips stayed latched to hers as he teased her, dragging his callus hands from her abdomen, to her hip and down her leg. So far, he hadn't laid a hand on any cherished part of her body. It left Rensemee mystified. Usually, when a guy had the chance, he'd touch her private areas in a millisecond.

Abruptly, Jacob leaned up on his elbow and pointed to the strap at her waist.

"Can I?" he asked, visibly wanting to pull at the strap.

Giving him the go ahead, Renesmee nodded scanning her eyes back and forth between his cut muscles, perfectly sculpted abdomen and mesmerizing stare. Jacob leered, loosening the sash. As an alternative, he didn't rip the robe from her body, he slightly uncovered her chest trailing kisses along her collarbone. Progressively, his lips found the buds of her chest and his tongue lapped at each repetitively. In doing so, Ness massaged his scalp and unconsciously arched her back.

Jacob, helped the woman of his dreams sit upright, so he could peel the cotton negligee from her back. She complied and he looked away, tossing the robe onto the adjacent divan. Ness covered herself, pulling her legs together and wrapping her arms around her chest. Jacob witnessed her cheeks turn pink, he couldn't help but smirk at her blushing. _Was she really that shy_? The customary confidence, he loved so much, was weakened by one glance at her nakedness. Drawing in a breath the suddenly shy girl knew he was bound to see her naked anyways.

Releasing all inhibitions, Ness did as she always does and put her full trust in Jacob.

The maturing boy didn't know this was the first time anyone has ever seen her fully bare. Numerous times her shirt has been removed and her skirt lifted up but never has she lied on back, entirely uncovered and ready to give into her hormones.

Following gentle, raw foreplay, Jacob double checked," Do you really want this?"

"Yes," she huffed.

"On one condition?"

"Hmmm?"

" If you're gonna be upset or regret this later on, I won't do this."

"Why would I have _any_ remorse about this?"

Positioning a soft pillow under the dampened hair on her head, he answered, " I don't want to ever have to apologize for us doing this, and I don't want to hear you be sorry about it. Do you understand?"

With a smirk and a raised brow, she nodded.

Slightly bothered that she didn't seem to take the situation seriously, he explained himself with more clarity, "I'm dead serious, I won't do this if our friendship is going to be put in question."

"Jacob, you've always been my number one. My best friend. Nothing is ever going to change that."

From that point, there was no doubt in her mind, nor in his. They both wanted this for different reasons, but nonetheless it was consented.

Jacob's hands settled on both sides of her face as he propped himself. Before anything, he leaned down and ironically gave a virtuous kiss to her forehead. That wasn't enough, Ness raised herself to kiss him on the lips more passionately but once they had contact, it was untainted with no desire. It was such an innocent and docile kiss, that Ness presumed he was only having sex for his personal pleasure. Oddly, she felt okay with this.

Once he sank into her, there was more resistance than he contemplated. Squeezing a tight grip around Jacob's wrists, Ness leaned her cheek against the pillow holding her breath waiting for the discomfort to pass. The deed was taking place, and Nessie's eyes watered from all these bizarre emotions were front and center_. Maybe I shouldn't be doing this with a man I'm not in love with? At least, right about now, he should be aware of the truth. But what if he regrets this? What if he sees me differently after this? Oh My Gosh, this hurts! _

Seeing the tears form in her eyes, crushed Jacob. He wriggled a wrist away from Nessie's clutch and wiped a stray tear with his thump, kissing her forehead.

"Nessie, why are you crying?" he asked, continuing removing the tears from her cheek.

Fixing her eyes to his, she replied, "I didn't think it'd hurt this much."

"Oh?" he countered with a grin of arrogance.

Between her pants and whimpers, she asked, "It always hurts the first time, doesn't it?"

Taken back, he froze, discontinuing his thrusting. "What?

"Doesn't it always hurt the first time? For girls?"

"You're a, you're a virgin?" he asked shocked.

"Yeah," she huffed then taking in a breath, " I was."

"W-we should stop."

"No, Jake," she whined wrapping her arms around his neck.

Shaking his head, he said, "I can't do this"

" You already did," she whispered pressing his chest to hers, "It's okay just keep going."

Stoking her hair, he placed a kiss on her engorged lips then inquiring, "Are you positive you want to finish this?"

"We can't turn back now," she replied giving him a kiss.

Because his mind was too busy wondering how he didn't know she was a virgin, how he had just taken her innocence. He had to ask about it. "Nessie, why didn't you tell me? I-I?"

Cutting him off she shushed him and stated, "We'll talk about it later."

"But-"

"No buts!" she exclaimed embracing him. Ness murmured into his ear, " Jacob I chose you to do this kay? I trust you, I care about you."

"I'll be gentler, alright?"

Jacob slowed his momentum from earlier, enough so that she didn't cry any longer. She wanted pleasure. In her frustration Ness sunk her teeth into Jacob's shoulder bringing him let out a growl of pain. Ness kissed his shoulder and apologized, "I'm sorry."

"It's fine," he breathed into her ear. Secretly, he loved it.

His head remained low, along side hers. Ness kept on planting wet kisses along his cheek and jaw, then nibbled and sucked at his earlobe.

"I love it when you do that," Jacob snarled.

By now, Jacob was pushing harder and faster inside Ness. Setting aside her discomfurt, she kept on gnawing at his earlob unaware that she was releasing soft moans was all he could hear. The sound drove him crazy, and it aided to his climax.

Encircled in one another, they found their way under the sheets, naked and tired. Ness rested her head on Jacob's shoulders and drapped an arm around his ribs. He too, held her close, sniffing and kissing the hair on her head.

Nessie's warm lips made contact with Jacob's chest and she laid her head to rest on his heart. Quietly, as if there were no air in her lungs, she said, "I'm so glad, I have you."

Rubbing his hand over her arms, he announced, "Love you."

"You too."

The words he spoke, were honest and pure. He loved her even thought occasionally her immaturity irritated him. He loved her because she was the most genuine human being he's ever met. She's no one but herself and she never puts on a show unless she has an idiot boyfriend to impress and adapt herself to. Renesmee embraced who Jacob was, and accepted him for him. She enjoyed his friendly banters and encouraged him in his academics and sports. Jacob gives her full credit for his good grades and the football scholarship. He loves her flaws, like her occasional pessimism, her self doubt and he could even take her constructive critisim. He was fond of her different shaped eyes and the hardly visible scar on her right cheek bone. She was so humorous, yet resevered and patient with him, with distressed children and even people like Charlene and Leah. No matter how much she hated them, she bit her tongue and treated them decent. She was smart, most of the time as well as opinionated, without being preachy. And if need be, she can become articulate. Even though Jake and Ness don't see eye to eye on everything, he can appreciate her point of views and she his. Ever since the welcome back barbeque, when Nessie's family returned to Forks, they continued to debate any topics, especially television and music. And that was just the tip of the iceburg. There were thousands of reasons he loved her, and any faults she had could be overlooked because her good qualities out weighted the bad.

While Jacob thought over the reasons he was in love, he honestly struggled with the decision to convey his love for her. Sure he had just done so by making love to her, but to say it out loud was different. Nessie knew he loved her, but could she tell he was _in_ love?

Biting the bullet, Jacob said, "Renesmee, I'm, I'm in love with you."

When no answer came from Ness, Jacob shook her a bit, muttering, "Nessie?"

Realizing she was fast asleep, Jacob rolled his eyes, out of shear astonishment. _She would be asleep when I decide to declare my love for her._

Leaving one last kiss to her temple, Jacob said goodnight and drifted off to sleep.

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**Auhtor's Note:** YAY! I updated, so sorry it's been so long but here it is. I think, they just made a child. What do you think? So now, review, review, review! If you do so, of course you get the next chapters preview. I'm sorry I didn't name drop you loyal readers and reviewers I just wanted to hurry and post this cuz it's getting late and I have work early tomorrow. SO enjoy, I'll be updating soon. Happy reading! FYI- I love LONG reviews informing me what's good and bad in the chapter. Could you do me a favor and be a little detailed. Thanks... Love you guys.


	11. The Morning After

_**A/N:** All right all you FATED fans! This is my Christmas present to you, an extra long chapter. Also, I'm surprised at how many of you wanted more lemons. You naughty, readers. Shame, shame. Hee, hee! Maybe, there will be more in the near future? But out of all honesty, I can't get to detailed, I get embarrassed. Happy reading. _

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_"To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was all I ever dreamed."_

**Chapter 11 –The Morning After-**

The clatter of rain hitting the large oversized window panes of the hotel room woke Jacob. The fulfilled young man, couldn't help but let loose an enormous grin at the remembrance of last night's occurrence. Curling his arm under his head, he rotated to find the girl he planned to marry one day, lying at his side, blissfully asleep. Still beaming, he gazed at Renesmee's beauty, immensely joyous that he had woken up next to her. _An angel rest at my side_. The young man could see himself _forever_ waking up next to her, with the mass of chestnut colored bed-head hair in disarray atop her head and the sound of her lightly breathing. Not only did her steady breathing relax him, the occasional release of a tired sigh snowed him under in glee.

The young man was beyond jovial with what had ensued in the last twelve hours. So exultant, that he would never be able to articulate his emotions in words, nor on paper or even by future actions. At this instant, if he was to die, he'd pass away knowing half of his dreams had come true. The other part to fulfill his life, was a simple statement from Renesmee. It would be a straightforward declaration of, _Jacob I'm in love with you._ He only needed to hear it once and know she meant it wholeheartedly.

Mechanically, the boy reached out for her slightly parted moist lips, gliding his index finger along her bottom lip. Gradually her eyes fluttered opened, peeking through the strands of tresses, presenting those big stunning coffee orbs, and the hints of olive only livened them up. Guilt hit him, when she opened her tired eyes. There was no intent to wake her, his hand jutted forward involuntarily, merely needing to touch some part of her.

"Good morning," he said, brushing the mess of hair out of her face.

With a closed mouth smile, she acknowledged him by pressing her naked body close to his. One of Jake's broad arms welcomed her by closing around her shoulders. Comfy in their position, both rested their eyes.

With cracked undertone she finally spoke, "Morning. "

Nuzzling her cold nose on his sternum, Jacob could feel the steadying pace of her breath brush his bare skin. While he treasured it, he wondered if he'd ever experience it again.

Grateful for this moment, he swathed his arms around Renesmee firmer, dragging her closer. He held her with no intention to ever let go. Assuming she had fallen back into slumber, Jacob kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Love you."

Only half conscious, Ness clearly heard but she was so tired that she didn't comprehend that he may have wanted a response. He knew she loved him, therefore she didn't feel the need to state it.

Without any control, flashes of russet skin contrasted to alabaster appeared in her mind, the sound of moaning resonated there as well. The memory from the pain of Jacob popping her cherry emerged, causing her to instinctively cross her legs. Underneath her eyelids, she had reminiscences of her Junior Prom night. It had not been what she anticipated. It was better.

After nearly slipping back into unconsciousness, the girl couldn't believe she was no longer a virgin. _Was it worth it? To give myself away so carelessly? Especially, to my best friend? A man that almost undoubtedly will be in my life, as a family friend, for years to come? A guy I'm not even with? _Renesmee was searching for the answer to a question the thought was unanswerable_. Was it really worth it? How can offering one's self to someone you're not in love with ever be worth it?_

Paying no mind to her rational side, she hugged him back, oblivious to the consequences that may lie ahead. Her thoughts scattered to the first hug he'd ever given her. It was her first day at the tribal school in La Push. That morning the school girl was anxious and afraid she wouldn't make it through the day. By the time three o'clock rolled around, she was waiting on the curbside, alone, waiting for her mother to pick her up. Then out of nowhere, Jacob came up to her and wrapped his then, gangly arms around her, saying, " You made it through the day. I told you, you'd be alright."

After three years, embracing him had become reflexive. Whenever he'd hold her tight, she had to counter the hug. Times ten. Why would being naked on a hotel bed, change that? Hugging was a spontaneous incident between the teens. Oddly, it only and always happened when they were alone. Jacob made sure never to hug her in public, he wouldn't satisfy his class mates with another reason to spread more idle gossip about Renesmee.

Encircled in her best friends arms, the immature girl could only think that she was no longer pure and that she had broken her dad's heart. However, she didn't care, she had gotten what she had wanted. Yet, somehow, that was not enough for her. She wanted that big 'O' , Ya know, that word that is repetitively thrown around in her mother's Cosmo Magazines. Renesmee wanted to scream out in ecstasy and feel her entire body tremor in fits of erotic convulsions. As she thought it over, she knew she wasn't willing to experience that with any other man, at least not until she was married. She only wanted Jacob to be the one to give her an orgasm.

By the time they leave this room, she would have had sex twice, but her second time would have some sort of pleasure to it. To get Jacob fired up for round two, she uncrossed her legs and draped one leg over his midsection and holding him tighter, their flesh hard-pressed close. At the contact, both teenagers had an overwhelming tingling sensation. To most, it's known as sexual arousal.

In reaction to her implemental actions, Jacob swelled the slightest.

Renesmee sleepily moaned, "You're so warm."

"You too," he grumbled, mostly in annoyance to the uncomfortable semi- he had.

The couple remained sealed tight for a long period of time. As Jacob could only think of how his dreams came true, Ness continued to recall the incidences of the previous night.

Out of shear curiosity, Ness asked, "What happened to Charlene?"

"Shit!" Jake exclaimed jumping off the bed, " I don't know?"

Running his hand through his hair, the look in his eyes clearly expressed his concern for the self absorbed girl Renesmee secretly despised. He collected his magenta boxer briefs and slipped them on.

On the hunt for his phone, Jacob scurried around, imitating a scattered brained mother looking for her lost keys. As he did so, he said, "I didn't even make sure she got home."

"I'm sure she made it home fine," Ness griped rolling her eyes. Spotting his cell on the night stand, Ness watched Jake search for cell. _Please come back to bed, _she pleaded internally.

" I gotta at least, call her."

"Why?"

"She was my date Ness, how would you feel if your date ditched you?"

Pressing her brows together she grumbled low, "He broke up with me, remember? He didn't try calling to make sure I got home why should you?"

Finding his cell, he dialed and pressed the speaker to his ear answering her, "Because he's an ass hole, I'm not. I have to call her."

"And what'll be your excuse smart guy? 'I walked out on you to have sex with my best friend?'"

"No, that's not-" Just then Charlene picked up. " Oh hey, Charlene?"

"Jacob? What happened to you last night?" Her shrill voice caused Jacob to pull the phone away from his ear and Ness only turned her back to him, snuggled into the sheets more, all while rolling her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I-"

Before he even had a chance to explain himself, Charlene cut him off, "You took off and didn't even say where you were going. I had to-"

"I'm sorry about last night," he interrupted her with an apology.

"Where did you go?"

"Renesmee needed me."

"Ohhh?" she questioned with genuine disdain, "she needed you?"

"Yes, I had to help her with…" he paused for a second, when Renesmee's fingertips slithered along his shoulder blades. Lost for words, he watched the naked body sashay towards the bathroom. Stopping at the door frame, she peeked over her shoulder, sending him a seductive glare and a smile. "… something," he finished at the exact moment, Ness had closed the pocket door.

"Help her with what. Like to get a fucking orgasm?"

The warmth he felt inside from waking up by Nessie's side, quickly transformed into angry spitfire aimed at Charlene. "Hey!" he shouted turning looking at television.

" She couldn't do that with Nahuel? She does it with every other damn guy."

"Charlene, don't say that about her. Now, I'm not going into to detail about what happened last night but she needed a shoulder to cry on okay?"

"Why couldn't Claire help? She's her friend."

"Because, I'm like Nessie's big brother Charlene. She's my best friend, my little sister and it was necessary I be there for her, she's my family."

Ness sneered, as she purposely listened in on the phone call. There was his damn view on her again, the little sister. She hated that title. All she longed for was for him to see her as an adult, as a growing woman. Right then she knew they could never be more than friends. A part of her died with that conclusion. Instantly, her mind was readdressed at the dried blood on her thighs. _What the hell?_ She thought. Above her head, Ness reached for a pallid wash rage and dampened it under the facet then rinsed off the blood.

Meanwhile, Jacob continued his discussion with Charlene, now without Renesmee's eavesdropping.

"Well what am I to you? Aren't I your girlfriend?"

Frowning, Jacob practically snarled in disgust, "No. When did you get that conclusion?"

"When you said you'd come to prom with me. Then you ditch me?"

"Look, I really am sorry."

"I knew those rumors of you two being more than friends was true, I just knew it."

"It's isn't like-"

"If you wanted a fuck I woulda screwed you last night."

"Charlene shut up!" he growled in great aggravation. Not once has he held an intelligent conversation with this girl. To him, Charlene was clueless. Anything with her was sexual and arrogant, that was the point he wanted to make. All he and Charlene could ever have was a sexual relationship nothing more. Jacob didn't have the heart to tell her, he wasn't even attracted to her, hell, he doesn't even like her company.

"It's not about sex," he continued hearing the shower turn on, "not with you and not with Renesmee. I called cuz I wanted to make sure you made it home."

"Yeah, I did."

"Did ya get home safe?" he inquired, sitting back on his side of the bed while rubbing at his temples.

"Yes, I'm safe and sound. We all went to Jessica's party, you should have seen her she got so wasted…"

"Charlene? I don't care about that. What happened with you last night?"

" I stayed over at Jessica's, I'm here now."

" I'm glad you made it home in one piece," he affirmed with legitimacy. Jacob was thankful she made it back to Forks in one piece, and since Charlene lived across the street from Jessica, he knew she was basically home, and out of harm's way.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow and we'll make up or, whatever."

"Fine."

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Charlene."

"Bye Jakes-EY!"

Not even five seconds after he ended the call with Charlene, his cell begun to ring. Clutching the phone tightly, the caller-id showed a person he was not prepared to talk to. Jacob thought it to be perfect timing since Renesmee was taking a shower. Though, he wasn't sure whether or not he was in the mood to speak with this particular person. Seeing as he gave his word on giving this individual a ring, Jake knew he had to pick up.

Answering, Jake addressed the caller on the other line with an unenthusiastic, "Hello?"

"Jacob why didn't you call me last night?"

"I'm sorry Mister Cullen, my phone died." He lied.

"Well, how did Nahuel treat Renesmee?"

"Uh, not to good."

"What happened?'

"They argued."

"About what?"

"Not sure, but she left early. Without Nahuel." Jacob could feel his stomach clench as he stretched the truth to Dr. Edward Cullen. Who was he kidding, he was lying to Ness's father directly.

"Yeah, she went to her aunt Rosalie's," Edward informed unexcited, " At least they didn't leave together."

"Sure, sure," Jacob countered, hearing the squeak of the spigot shutting off. Cutting the conversation short, Jacob faked a yawn saying, "Alright Mister Cullen it's kinda early and I'm gonna head back to bed."

"Thanks for keepin an eye on her Jacob."

"No problem."

Jacob settled back into the bed, flipping the television on. Running through the channels he was irritated by the morning news and the lack of sport channels. It didn't matter because the glass pocket door held the real picture he wanted to see. The silhouette of Renesmee's body hardly appeared but it was enough for the light hearted guy. A few minutes later, Jacob turned his attention back to the news. Apparently a storm was coming in. Resting his eyes, Jacob knew they had to get heading home before it struck, or at least see what Renesmee was planning.

A punch to his chest woke him suddenly. When he eyes sprung open he was greeted with Ness standing over him, wrapped in a towel with only dried bangs.

Fiercely staring down at him, Ness dryly asked, "Why didn't you tell Charlene everything that happened with Nahuel and what we did?"

Sitting himself up, he leaned back into the head board and answered, "Ness, it's not my business to tell her what Nahuel did to you and I'm not telling her about everything that went down last night."

"Are you ashamed that, we, had-"

Not allowing her to jump to any conclusions, Jacob cut her words short, "No, no not at all."

"Then why wouldn't you tell her the truth?"

"I'll tell her everything if that's what you want, everything besides what happened between us."

Hunching her shoulders and bowing her head, she affirmed, "Cuz you're embarrassed you had sex with me."

She stood there, clasping at the towel around her waist, as if that was the blatant truth. Unhappy with her response Jacob grabbed at her hips saying," That isn't it."

Yanking Ness onto the bed, Jake forced her to sit. Unable to look at him, she made sure to keep her head hung low. Removing his hands from her hips, Ness muttered, "Be honest with her then."

" I don't kiss and tell okay?"

Rapidly, her head twisted round to meet his gaze. For whatever reason Ness was livid and she replied, "You told me 'bout Leah."

Taking the quilt off his lap, Jacob grabbed Renesmee's hand, delicately verbalizing how different it was to speak with her, than compared to a blabber mouth like Charlene.

" Do you want me to tell everyone we…" embarrassed he preceded, " ya know?"

Although, he made complete sense, the subject began to upset Ness more. With her back still facing him she expressed what was on her mind, "People say we sleep together anyways so I don't see what the big deal is?"

"Because Renesmee," Jacob started rubbing her back, " I love you, if I told Charlene the whole thing, God knows who she'll tell and it'll turn into another lie and rumor about you. And I don't want that."

Spinning about, Ness leaned in and hugged Jacob. In the midst of the couple enfolded by their arms, Ness murmured, "I love you too…" pulling away from him she finished, "and thank you."

"For what?" he wondered lying on his back, fluffing the pillow beneath his head.

"For being you, protecting me. Acting like, my big brother." Saying that unexpectedly left a bitter taste in her mouth.

"Anything for you," he smiled averting his vision to the television.

Mistaking his casualness for emotional detachment, she assumed Jacob saw last night as a hook up - so she would take advantage and hopefully get a sensual experience this time.

"Anything?"

"You're my family, Ness you know I'd do anything for you."

Unraveling the towel from around her body, Ness held it high before letting it fall to the floor. Climbing on top of Jake only in a birthday suit, she raised a brow, "One more time?"

Gawking at Ness's body, Jacob, without thinking, rested his hands upon her hipbones. Taking in a deep breath, he went against her natural urges, sighing, "I-I don't think so." He already held the guilt for taking her innocence, doing it again wouldn't be respectable.

"I heard the second time is more, enjoyable. For me? Please?" she bounced, begging. "Please? Please? You said you'd do anything for me."

Sucking in a breath, Jacob could see the water droplets from her hair, rolling down the silk of her skin. Her eyes smoldered with yearning and that bottom lip cinched between her teeth would be the death of him. Not sure what to say, he observed her chest rise and fall with each breath she took.

Rocking back and forth, she giggled, "I can feel that you want it just as badly as I do."

When she said that, he could feel even more blood rush from his brain to his member.

"You won't regret it?"

"I didn't regret it last night and I won't regret it now."

Caving, his lips curved upwards retorting, "Good."

Suddenly, she felt his warm arms surrounding her and drawing her down so he could kiss her. In one swift motion, Jacob flipped her over so that her lay between her thighs. As all resistance melted away, Jacob ran his figers through Nessie's hair. Holding her head, he repeatedly placed chaste kisses along her cheeks and jawline, causing the girl to snicker. Underneath the sheets they kissed passionately, getting lost in one another. Renesmee didn't register that Jacob didn't dive right into sex. His heart was in full control not his penis. He took his time, savoring each kiss, each touch, each second. Jacob would make this last as long as he could, because even with high hopes, he feared this could be the last time he'd make love to her.

Nearly thirty minutes later, the pulse between Nessie's legs was throbbing and Jacob was suprisingly controlling himself well. More starvingly, she kissed him bucking her hips, clawing at his back. Jacob pinned her wandering hands above her head and begun fondling her breast while simultaneously gnawing the spot above collar bone. When he did so, she started pleading for him to enter her. Jacob smirked knowing he had official found the switch that turned her on. To Renesmee, this combination was deadly.

This time there was no nervousness, no hesitation. Each knew what was going to happen and Renesmee beared down prepared and excited for what was to come. Jacob obeyed her pleas and inched his way inside Ness. Once he wholly filled her both gasped in unison. Renesmee's eyes rolled in the back of her head as he dug into her deeper and harder.

Nearly to his climax, Jacob felt Renesmee's muscles clamp around him. As she reached her climax, for the first time she cried out his name, in elation. Hearing her shout his name for the first time, set him off.

For a few seconds, both lay in silence catching there breathes lost in thoughts.

Jacob knew this wasn't like the last time, it was much more fulfilling since she yelled his name. To him that meant there had to be some sort of emotional attachment.

Previous to the major event, Ness questioned where this would take Jacob and her? Now, subsequent to the second time, not once did she think her relationship with Jacob would change, though a very small part of her wouldn't object to it. After all this thinking, and all the questioning whether or not having sex with Jacob was worth it, Renesmee had her answer. _Yes, it was worth it._

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**_Author's Note:_**_ In this chapter, I really wanted to show how off Renesmee's thinking is. She's so not in it for the love, she's in it for the sex. Jacob on the other hand is in deep but can't really think outside the moment. He's so thankful for the moment. Now, as always if you review you get a preview to the next chapter. Long reviews get long previews, keep that in mind. Thanks for reading. Happy Holidays! _

**_Thanks to: _**_Vickytoria Paisleypants, Amanda121, , peacefeet18, JUSTaDAMNbook, denica, jemmac77, always., mamai-hai, nune101, cocopucks, Alyssa, Patty(heart)cake, luv2beloved, EfficientVixen,dkgors, evildose12, george is loved, wolfgirl1973, jbaybay94, Delsan13, chritbella, Ren4black, FetishFatale, gc21xx, nfanpepsi, and russetfurbr. All of you have reviewed or supported this story in someway. Thanks a million and keep reading. _


	12. A Glimmer of Hope

**Author's Note:** I know that, in my comments/previews I sent many of you, I contradicted myself from the last A/N. It said, Ness was in it for the sex, which she somewhat is. Nessie is a very influenced girl so when she assumes Jake only wants sex, she tells herself that she only wants sex also. But if you re-read chapter -, you can see the subtle hints that she is in love with Jacob. Like her irritation with Jacob not telling Charlene, and her only wanting sex with him. Also, let me know if you guys are even getting my replys & preview, cuz I have no clue if you readers are receiving them. Happy reading!

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_"Love is not blind, it simply enables one to see what others fail to see."_

**Chapter 12 - A Glimmer of Hope-**

"I thought Seth was meeting us?" Claire questioned, lifting her hand to shield the sun from her eyes.

Across the picnic table, Embry replied, "He went with Leah to visit Emily at the hospital."

Ness grimaced at the mention of Leah. She knew there was absolutely no reason to despise Jacob's ex-girlfriend. Leah had never personally done a thing to her but she wasn't fond of her, or Emily. Pushing aside her irritant of the women, she queried, "Oh? She had her baby?"

"MmmHmm," Claire nodded seeing Quil and Jacob step out the doors of the diner with food trays in hand.

Everyone knew the heartbreaking story of the Leah, Sam and Emily love triangle but no one ever spoke a word about it.

Not thinking, Ness readjusted the sunglasses on her nose while saying, "That must be hard for her. I can't believe Emily did that to her own cousin."

Claire's eyes went wide when Ness made that comment about her cousin Emily. The girls had this argument time and time again. Emily didn't purposely steal Sam from Leah, it just happened but Claire figured out the truth. Renesmee disliked both, Emily and Leah for different reasons but both pertained to Jacob. If Emily never came down from the Makah Reservation to visit her cousin, Leah and Sam would have never broken up. Therefore, Leah would have not ever rebounded with Jacob. As trivial as Renesmee's reasons to loathe each women was, Claire turned the other cheek allowing Ness to have her own feelings. Though, it's been nearly two years and she couldn't understand why Ness still held a grudge, when things between Jacob and Leah were undoubtedly over. However, when it came to Jacob, Ness has always been over protective and jealous with the girls that gravitated towards him.

Not wanting to argue about this yet again, Claire brought up a different topic just as Quil and Jacob sat down the tray of food and drinks the retrieved.

"Ness, you know Aaron?"

Jacob ears perked up wondering why Claire was asking Renesmme about Aaron Connelly. As he set Nessie's food in front of her, along with her drink, he watched Nessie's reception to the question.

Not really having a response, Ness looked up to Jake saying, "Thanks."

Jacob took his seat adjacent to the passive teenager, concluding it was too difficult to see her reaction with the sunglasses covering her face. Replying to Claire, Ness verbally pondered, "Aaron? Yeah, what about him?"

Scooting over, making room for Quil to sit between both she and Ness, Claire informed, "He was asking me about you."

"So?" Ness shrugged punching the straw through the lid of her soda.

The boys stayed quiet, all already consuming their burgers and fries all covertly interested.

"Well what should I tell him?" she asked unwrapping her burger.

"Tell him, I'm not interested."

Ever person's jaw at that table dropped, and Jacob almost choking on a fry. With wide eyes each stared at Ness in awe, not believing she wasn't remotely interested. She was actually turning down a guy. That was so out of character. Ness was never single for more than a week, everyone thought she couldn't function without having a boyfriend. It became uncomfortably quiet amongst the table. Each teen noticed, besides Ness, who was chewing on her food, gazing up at the tops of the surrounding evergreens.

Everyone managed to swallow the comment Renesmee made and got back to their lunches as well as other conversation. Everyone except Jacob. He stared across the table at Ness, wondering if their intimate night in the hotel room caused her to not even wonder about Aaron being a potential boyfriend. He was reflecting upon her behavior in the last couple of weeks. It had been nearly a month since they had sex, and not once has either spoke about prom night. Thinking it over, Jacob realized Miss boy crazy hadn't talked about a male suitor in some time. _Maybe something in her changed? _

Ness looked over to him, noticing he was absent mindedly staring at her. It felt more as if he was looking right through her. To be sure, she looked over her shoulder and saw that there were a few people from their school eating lunch in the back of a pick-up. Nessie's legs went numb with adrenaline when she notices that one of them happened to be Charlene. _Eww,_ she thought snapping her head back to Jacob, who had now turned his line of vision where Ness was staring. Wanting to associate with the sight of Charlene with pain, Ness kicked Jake's shin under the table.

"Ow!"

"Quit daydreaming and eat," she said smiling at him.

Doing as she said, he got back to his triple patty cheeseburger and noticed he was missing a straw from his drink. With his mouthful he mumbled, "Crap, I forgot a straw."

"I'll go get you one," Ness said sliding of the bench. Staring down at him, she laughed at the ketchup dripping down his chin. "And a napkin, Does anyone else need anything?"

Following , she took off towards the burger diner with an capsized gut. Not wanting her friends to know she was about to throw up, she found a reason to take off to relieve her queasy stomach. Stepping inside, she made her way to the bathroom. Ness assumed her sensitive stomach had finally settled but something made her anxious. Hanging over the toiled her head was engrossed with the thoughts of Jacob staring at Charlene and the history final she took this morning and didn't study for. Both left her stomach so unsettled that she vomited the content of the burger she had literally, just consumed. _I was doing so good,_ she thought.

Meanwhile, Claire playfully mentioned, "Jacob, you and Nessie have been awfully chummy."

"What do you mean?" he wondered clearly, not noticing they've been attached at the hip since prom.

"Claire's saying you guys are so far up each other's ass-"

Interrupting her boyfriends, inappropriate wording she pinched his side shrieking, "Shut up Quil!"

Shaking her head, Claire turned back to Jake saying, "What happened at prom? She took off with Nahuel then you disappeared. "

"Yeah, once you left Charlene wouldn't leave me the hell alone," Embry whined tossing a piece a garbage, as if shooting a basket ball through a hoop.

Giving half truth, he said, "Nahuel broke up with her. She called me and I had to go , reassure her that he was just another asshole."

"I kinda figured something like that happened," Claire added, "and Ness must feel safe with you nearby, which you guys are always within a five foot radius of one another."

"No we're not, and I just had to be there for her."

"Man, you didn't have to do anything for her," Quil said.

"We all know why he comforted her."

Wiggling his eyebrows at Jake, Embry chuckled,"Yeah."

"No, that's not what I meant," Claire replied throwing a fry at his head.

" Jake wishes, I saw you writing her name in your notebook-" Quil laughed pretending to write in a notebook.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen," he drew out the mockery he was making of Jacob.

Between his teeth, Jacob snapped, "You can shut up now, Quil."

Instantly shutting down, Quil halted turning to Claire he fussed, "Man, why is everyone telling me to shut up?"

"Because you don't know how to close your mouth," Claire said flicking his nose, then redirecting a question at Jacob.

" Do guys really do that?" she needled eminently.

Claire noticed him rub his forehead not only in disgruntlement but with embarrassment. Taking notice, Claire diverted back to the original topic at hand. " I'm just trying to say you both seem different. Especially, Nessie I mean she hasn't had a boyfriend in three and half weeks, I think that's some sort of record."

All began laughing at that, even Jacob smirked. It could very easily be the longest Ness has been without a boyfriend since her eighth grade year. When Claire snapped her mouth shut, every teen assumed Ness was coming back.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jake shrugged.

Taking her spot on the wooden bench, Ness eyed her food as if it had just insulted her. Feeling intimidated by the hardly eaten burger, she breathed through her mouth, not wanting to sniff the scent. After many more concentrated breaths, Ness heard Jake mutter, "Eat. We're waiting on you."

"I'm not really that hungry," she said pushing her food away.

Embry noticed the morose expression on the girls face, and wanted to investigate. "You don't look to hot, are you feeling okay?"

Claire attached her concern to Embry's declaring, "You look tired."

"I've been feeling sick all morning. I didn't study for my history final, I think I totally bombed it."

"You bomb a test?" Quil chuckled lightening the mood, " That's a first."

The group began to get up, stretch and toss their garbage in the closest trash can.

Jacob frowned, upset she was feeling ill. Tuning out the others he looked to her and notified, "I told you we didn't have to hang out last night."

Removing her sunglasses, she placed them upon the splintering wood of the picnic table. Pinching her nose she retorted, "But I wanted to."

"You feeling sick right now?"

Bobbing her head up and down, she put her elbow on the table and rested her fist on her temple, sighing, "You know how anxious I get."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Not only that, my nose in running like crazy. Maybe I'm dehydrated or getting a cold or something."

"I hope not," he said coming to his feet, " we have the graduation party to go to."

Standing, she grabbed her food and threw it in the trash giving voice to her view,"It's a bon fire like any other,"

"Yeah, but this time we have a reason to throw a one. Hannah and Paul are coming by the way, they really want to see you."

Ness grinned with the mention of his niece and nephew, they were the cutest things she's ever seen. Both toddlers had big brown eyes, tanned skin and angelic faces. She adored how Rachel dressed them and each had more hair on their head than Renesmee, and she envied it.

Unlocking her Volvo from afar, her and Jacob slowly made their way closer. She had acquired the car, when she started dating Nahuel. Ness told Edward she was no longer getting rides from Jake and that she needed a car. Edward, happily complied giving her the 2003 Volvo s40, the exact car they had when she moved to Forks.

All their friends climbed in while Ness and Jacob were only halfway to the white automobile. With thoughts of Hannah and Paul, Ness beamed wrapping her arms around Jacob's triceps.

" You don't have to coax me with your niece in nephew, I'll go if you want me too."

Allowing Ness to keep a hold on him, he continued walking totally content. Approaching the car, Ness handed him the keys wanting him to drive. The two climbed in maintaining their conversation. Unknowing to them, Quil, Claire and Embry wanted to see how the interacted.

"When is it?" Ness asked buckling her seatbelt.

"Saturday at two, Charlie said we could have it in his back yard."

"I still can't believe Seth is my uncle now, or that Leah is my aunt, it's weird."

"You're telling me?" he sniggered starting the car.

Everyone started chatting about random subjects over the loud music. A few miles outside the school, Ness turned down the music rolling her head over to Jake.

"Hey, I like that song," he complained wanting to hear the alternative song that was being played every five seconds on the radio.

"It's played out."

"Yeah," he admitted she was right.

"Are you gonna pick me up after you go to the gym?"

"I have to go to work today."

"Really?" she frowned, "I thought we we're going to see a movie and celebrate your last day."

"We can still see a movie but you'll have to wait until I get off work."

"What time?"

Coolly, he put his elbow on the shoulder rest letting his palm relax on the leather stick shift. Just as fluently, Jake let the words dance out of his mouth, " I should be done by six."

"I don't think teenagers should work," she said with her whole body angled at Jake, " I mean you only have so little time to be a teenager."

Smugly, he replied, "How else do you think I can afford to pay for our movie tickets?"

"I'll pay," she offered clutching his hand in her palms, " So you can totally miss work."

Jake countered, "Nessie I promised this guy I'd have his truck done by tomorrow."

Pulling his hand up to her nose, she begged into the back of his hand closing her eyes, "Please, please just ditch work. For me?"

That questioned sounded so familiar to him. He wondered if ditching work would result in an s Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Jake answered taking her left hand and kissing it, "I would, you know I would but this guy's paying double to have it done by tomorrow."

Miserly, Nessie felt her face fall. She really wanted to hang out with him. Lost in thought, she stared at him observing his features with hands still clamped jointly. Flipping his hand over, she softly ran her index finger along the wrinkles of his palm waiting for the light touch to tickle his palm.

" Don't," he said pulling his hand away then reaching for the ticklish spot above her knee. Ness cackled as Jake unrelentingly squeezed her thigh

"Stop it!" she yelled amongst, her giggling. By hook or by crook, the two settled by interlacing their fingers.

"You're such an ass," Ness giggled, tickling his side.

"Why don't you two just get a room, screw and get it over with?" Quil interrupted.

Unknowing to them, Embry, Quil and Claire all dumbfoundedly observed the two tease with one another. They were used to it but they've never seen it done in such a, flirting type of manner. Jacob kissed her hand for goodness sake, and Ness dismissed it as if it was natural, and a normal part of everyday life.

Quickly, Ness took her hand back, straightened up and turned the music back up. Now she was paranoid that Jacob had blabbed, how else would Quil know they had sex at prom? _Wait, he didn't say anything about prom?_ she pondered.

"What are you talking about?" Jake asked, knowing exactly how Quil intended his comment. Quil knew how much Jacob wanted Ness, and so did Embry. However, Embry had the decency to never poke fun at him the way Quil constantly did.

Ness sat in the car, uncomfortable and speechless about what Quil said. Jacob was sending Quil a warning glare through the rearview mirror. Knowing he screwed up, he replied with a chuckle, "Nothing, man."

From that point on, the ride back to school was dead silent.

Pulling into the school parking lot, Jake found a spot right next to his red car. When everyone filed out, they said their thank you's for having Ness drive and took off towards campus. Both Jacob and Ness heard Claire begin to chew Quil out for his inapt remark. Grunting, Ness pulled out her messenger bad, thinking, _He was so obnoxious today._

Locking up her car, Ness scratched at her head waiting for Jacob to grab his book back. Slamming his the door shut, Jacob locked it and came to Nessie's side.

With his backpack resting on his back, Jacob sat on the hood of the Rabbit somehow shoving his hands into his fitted jeans. Exhaling noisily, he patted the spot next to him. Skeptically, Ness took a seat next to him. Not liking her feet dangling, she placed her heels on the front bumper. "What is it?" she asked.

"I know we've been putting it off but we should really talk about what happened at prom."

Getting a knot in her throat, Ness gulped. "Jake, we're friends right?" By some means, Ness found her voice was smooth and sounded normal.

"Are we?" he teased. When she gave him a dry look, it forced him to reply honestly,"Yes, we are."

"Don't read too much into it, friends, good friends… Friends do favors right?"

"And you consider me taking your virginity a favor?"

"Yeah. I'm… _glad_ it was _you_ and not Nahuel."

"But Renesmee this is serious. I feel like I took advantage of you."

" No," she irately shook her head, " you didn't."

Lifting himself from the car, he stood directly in front of her gravely articulating, "But I did. I did, you should have made me stop-"

Ness cut him off. "Jacob can I explain myself?"Reaching for arm, he touch settled at his hand.

Her touch, eased him a bit. Gazing down at her creamy hands, Jake stared at her tiny hand in his. Pulling him closer, she didn't let go, as she stared into his eyes. Jake was curious as to why she kept grabbing his hand. She's been doing it all month long, in the middle of chemistry, and occasionally she'd take his warm hand in hers as they walked through the school hallway. Suddenly more aware of what Claire was asking, a glimmer of hope sparked in him. They've been so connectedly lately, even more so than before they had sex. Perhaps, their cohesive connection was more than just friendship. She did blow off Claire's mention of an interested senior and she did seem to be clingly.

"Go ahead."

Taking her hand back, she folded her arms informing, "There's no way you took advantage because you didn't wake up that morning thinking, 'I'm gonna nail Nessie tonight.' It wasn't premeditated. At least I hope it wasn't."

"It wasn't," he said. Acknowledging the sound of the school bell buzzing, ordering them to head to their fifth period, he helped Renesmee down from the car's hood.

He turned to begin walking to the locker rooms but Ness rowdily shouted, "No! stay, we'll be late for gym, I don't care. Lets finish talking 'bout this."

When he stood stationary, Ness took that as an agreement.

"You've always been there for me, you love me and you care about me, you'd never intentionally hurt me, and you didn't seek out to have sex with me. You didn't think of me as some slab of meat. You were…you were gentle with me and, I want to thank you for that. I'm happy that…" now staring at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world Ness completed her proclamation, "that I lost my virginity to my best friend and not some guy who could give a damn about me."

"Renesmee-"

Holding her hand up to make him stop talking, she continued, " Ya know you're right about all my ex's too. If it was with any other guy I woulda been like a piece of trash. They'd just toss me out when they were done."

Guilty with his presumptions, Jacob apologized for thinking she was an easy lay. "I'm sorry I thought you were…"

" A slut," she finished for him.

" I'm sorry that everyone else thinks you are too."

Gripping the strap of her bag, she commanded, "Define slut."

With his hands, yet again, pressed into his pockets he responded, "Not you."

"Good answer. It bothers me that people assume, but I don't know if I even care anymore. As long as you don't think I open my legs for anyone, I'm fine. You're opinion of me is the only one that really matters."

Covering her mouth, with the back of her hand, Ness jogged over to the nearest shrubbery. Jacob followed worried.

Hunching over she prepared to vomit but nothing came up. Standing straight, she turned to Jacob saying, " I feel sick again."

_Could she be? We didn't, shit we didn't use protection._ He knew if that would happen, he'd feel alright about it. But for Renesmee's sake, he hoped she wasn't pregnant. He didn't want her to struggle, and he couldn't bare to think of her having an abortion, or miscarrying or putting it up for adoption. _There's no way._ He tried to convince himself it couldn't happen to them, but a part of him worried.

"Do you regret it?"

"Not at all," she smirked inhaling.

"But Nessie, we weren't… safe."

Rolling her eyes dramatically at Jacob's suggestion of a possible pregnancy, she said, "What are the odds of that happening Jake? "

"What if, Renesmee, I don't want you to resent me in anyway."

Tilting her head, it wobbled in divergence, "I could never resent you and if you must know, it was that time of month last week."

Hearing the bell ring, both started to make their way to their gym class.

"Do you even want kids?" Ness wondered.

"Yeah," he whole heartedly informed, "One day. Don't you?"

"I don't know? I'd have to be married,. I'm not saying I'm wholly okay with having a kid just cuz I'm married. We'd have to be able to support the kid. I would have a career and financial stability and he'd have to be a pretty amazing guy to be a good father.."

"That's a good point, if I were to choose a mother I'd want a girl like you."

Smirking, she squinted her eyes at him, raising a brow asking, "Is that a compliment?"

"Yes, I've seen you with kids. Hannah and Paul love you, I could only imagine how much your kids will love you."

"Alright, so the fact is I'm not pregnant or having children, in the near future. Ugh! Now let's leave it at that and not talk about it kay?"

"Sure, sure."

Taking his hand in hers, she requested politely with great curiousity, "Now, it's your last day, what do you plan on doing the rest of your life?"

"Well football, school, maybe a girlfriend," _you perhaps_, "I don't know?"

"You do know," she said pulling out a stick of gum offering it to Jacob, "you have everything figured out, not like me."

"You'll figure it all out, you do have another year," he said popping the spearmint flavored gum into his mouth.

Stopping at the schools doors, she realized she'd be without Jacob for a whole year. Her stomach sank, she knew that reality was going to hit sooner or later, but now it was real, this was her best friends last day of high school.

"Don't remind me," she complained, " At least you can leave for school. I'm stuck here another year… alone."

" You have Seth and Claire," he reminded.

"Yeah but it won't be the same without you. I'm really gonna miss you," she said. Biting her lip, Ness fought the pressure building behind her eyes. Wrapping her arms around his waist, Ness could feel the tears fall.

_I'm such a baby._

" I'll miss you too," Jake replied, holding her like they were welded together.

He knew it was a new era. He wouldn't be able to see her every day at ever hour during passing period, he wouldn't run the track with her, nor do their study sheets in chemistry or even see one another every weekend. It was over and now that he was graduating, his life was going to dramatically change in a matter of months.

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**Author's second note**: I'm not to happy with this chapter, I don't know why? Everything that happens works. Maybe, I'm just nit picking or irritated that I was so uncreative in my wording. Whatever it is, I hope you look past it. Sorry, it seems I left you hanging in this chapter. I really got lazy with the last part but it didn't need to much detail. Also, I didn't think I was going to repost so soon but you guys reviewed like crazy, I really appreciate that, it gets me excited to update. Now about the story, I wanted to involve Ness and Jake's friends, they are after all a part of their life, just like their family. And Quil, Claire and Embry see something sparking between the couple. Jake notices too. The way I see the quote relating to this chapter, is that everyone else can tell that there's love between Jake and Ness, everyone can see that besides her. Kay, ya'll know what to do, review=preview.

**Thanks to: **SaiyanWerewolfgirl, X3MonochromeX3, Mia Melibne, denica, Ginny WpGr, IndianFeather1994, fanpire nikki, Snakefang, Amanda12197, Lettuse., JUSTaDAMNbook, dkgors, ScorpiusRoseLover, luv2beloved, Pattyheartcake, Tashay 789, Efficient Vixen. Thanks for all your support and reviews, Luv ya all. Long reviews, means long previews and if you guys noticed I give a little insight to what I was thinking when writing or what may be in store for the future. HAPPY READING!


	13. Being Sick

_A/N: You reader's have shown so much suport for this story, that I'm rewarding you with an extra long chapter. Enjoy!_

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_"If this is a blessing, it is certainly very well disguised."_

**Chapter 13 - Being Sick-**

All too soon, Jacob's graduation came and went. In the last few weeks, Renesmee thought she was going insane. Things have been spiraling out of control, every thought she had and every emotion she could feel was fine-tuned. Every trivial thing transformed her mood rapidly, then it went back to its previous state just as quickly. One minute she'd be happily, at Jake's side and as soon as he wasn't there, it reminded her that it would be that way for the next year. That reckon was not what she would want. So dense was her concern, it was nearly unmanageable for the hormonal girl. The thought, left her short with everyone and tired, unbearably dispirited.

As if arranged to mold a snow angel into cold snow, Nessie was sprawled out on a shag rug, deep in thought. Eyeing the beige ceiling above, she contemplated her future_. What am I to do? _

The contemplation of Jacob's leaving and her uncertain future was giving her a head ache. In efforts to be rid of these emotions, Ness tried to find an activity to consume her. However, nothing achieved her attention, which is why she found herself laying on her bedroom floor imagining her recent dreams.

The dreams she had were indisputably improper. Over and over, again and again, it would be a dream about Jacob. If it was not a sex dream about him, he was there nonetheless. Whether he'd be shown for a second, or the main subject, he was there gracing her night visions. Once, she had an enduringly haunting dream.

Ness was never sure where she was, it felt dim even though it was meant to be a jubilant occasion. Swarms of people gathered round yet she felt isolated. Never has she felt so lonely in all her life. The chatter of tête-à-tête and friendly banters reverberated all around. This, it didn't make sense for her to feel so empty inside. Then _he_ stepped into the picture, and everything lit up. The hollowness in her chest, filled with relief. The sight of Jacob made her heart leap for joy then, within the same second, it stopped beating all together. He simply regarded her, sending, what some would call a smile. Without a word, he bolted past her as if she was some rare acquaintance. There was practically no emotion in his eyes. In this dream, Renesmee's heart was already on its last legs with desolation. The feeling of solitude ached from within and when, her best friend gave that forced smile, her heart died all together.

On the night of this dream, Renesmee woke up with tears stinging her eyes. In this dream, she was just about no one to Jacob. The thought of growing apart from him, hurt like hell. That entire night, she lied awake, attempting to decipher the meaning to this nightmare. She wanted to know what that damned dream meant, because she would do everything in her power to never experience the pain of despair. She'd keep Jacob close at all cost. It was her life's mission, he was her closest friend and she wasn't willing to loss him due to the distance between Forks and Oregon State University.

From that night on she prayed for him to always be in her life.

From her gut, she could feel the pulsation of her beating heart and she could hear it in her eardrums. Disgruntled, Renesmee covered her face with both her forearms grunting. All movements, every ache and each sound in her body concerned her. Could she be pregnant? Ness unceasingly questioned herself on the theme since Jacob planted the idea in her pretty little head. _But I had my period. _

"You dead?"

Not wanting to know if her head was messing with her, she didn't lift her head to see if it was in fact Jacob speaking to her. All these unfamiliar, strong emotion felt strange. And because of this, she was a hundred percent sure, she was going crazy.

"Maybe," she replied with her arms still covering her face.

When she heard footsteps clack on the hardwood floor of her room, she breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't hearing things. Once the footsteps became muffled by the rugs plushness, she couldn't tell how close he was. Peeking between her forearms, Ness saw Jake grey brown eyers gazing down at her, chuckling. "What are you doing?"

Slapping his shin through his jeans, she said, "Thinking."

"About?" Jake asked, collapsing down by her side.

"I just, don't feel good."

"Why not?" he questioned resting his back to the green, black and gray peppered carpet.

"I think I'm going insane," she answered, flinging her right arm against his chest.

"You're not going insane," he laughed grazing his Lava brand scented hands across the cool skin on the inside of her forearm, " you're bored."

Pulling her arm away to wipe her nose, she agreed with a sniffle, "I guess."

Ness lied there like a corpse, with closed eyes. Noticing how exhausted she's been Jacob assumed she was ill and a part of him still wondered if she was pregnant.

"Nessie you've been sick for a month now, you should probably go to the doctor's."

Comparable to a zombie, Renesmee dragged herself up. Tugging at her legs, she forced them to bend and flatty placed the soul of her sock covered feet to the rug. "I know," she sighed resting her elbows at her knees, crossing her forearms. Glancing back at Jacob she clarified the exact reason, she always dismissed going to the doctor's office. " But I don't want to. I hate the doctor's I'm always scared they're gonna say I have cancer or something."

"Don't be stupid, doctors are there to help you. Wouldn't you want to know if you're sick or have cancer?"

"No." She frowned.

" You should go talk to you dad, he's doctor."

Ness raised a brow announcing, "Thanks for that enlightening information."

"Well, he can tell you why you've been feeling this way."

Unconsciously, Ness rested back on the floor throw, closer to Jacob than before. " I could very well be depressed."

Both teens surveyed the shadows on the ceilings. Each brainstorming their lives. Nessie trouble with her problems and Jacob worried about Renesmee.

"What are you guys doing?"

Ness responded to her mother, quickly. "Thinking."

"Bella!" Jacob shouted, sitting up, "Please tell your daughter, she has to go to the doctor's and soon."

"Ugh!" Ness huffed in betrayal.

"Why?" Bella examined.

" Look at her," he said, pointing at Ness. Upset with Jacob's betrayal, she scowled at him, then pitched the skin on the back of his arm.

"Ah," he groaned rubbing the spot but continued, "she's exhausted, she thinks she's depressed. And she can hardly breathe through her nose. She can't eat any food without spewing it ten minutes later."

Stepping deeper into Renesmee's bedroom Bella states, "Oh, Ness are you starting that again? When are you gonna get over this nervous stomach of yours."

Being in her recent cynical mood, Ness countered, "Don't you know mom? I'm bulimic."

"Renesmee your health is not a joke."

Arising, Ness was met with both Jacob and her mother's stares. "If I go tomorrow will you both get off my back?"

"I'll call Grandpa," Bella versed.

"I don't want to see grandpa!" Ness raised her voice as she brought herself to her feet, " I don't want to see dad either. Send me to a doctor I'm not related to."

Not wanting to fight with Ness, Bella lifted her hands, surrendering. " Do you work tomorrow?"

"Yeah, on Friday's I only work 'til two."

"I'm sure I can get you an appointment with Dr. Walton tomorrow."

"Thanks ma."

With no answer Bella left the room.

Ness walked over to her bed and plopped down on her unmade bed. Shoving her face into the comforting, she heard Jacob say, "Work? After slamming me for working you go and get a job?"

Propping her chin on folded arms, she answered, "Yes, my Uncle Jasper's friend is a physical therapist, I work part time at the front desk."

"Is this why you're so tired?" he asked sitting at her side.

"Probably."

" You shouldn't be working all summer wearing yourself down."

"I only work part time."

" You should be hanging out with me, _being a teenager,_" he playfully scoffed.

Nessie knew he was teasing her, but she felt irked by it. Mostly, since the news of his scolarship to a distant school, she figured she didn't need Jacob, she simply wanted him around. _I should be hanging out with him, he doesn't define me and he can't order me around!_

Lifting her torso, Ness peered over her shoulder looking at Jacob saying, "You don't control my life. Plus, you've been working at the garage and I need something to do in the mornings."

"You're right," he agreed.

Rolling onto her back, Ness delivered a huge grin to Jake. While Jacob loved her smile, he being sincerely complaisant was once of the reasons she loved him.

Gradually, Jacob asked about her new job. He was hoping she enjoyed it. In return, Renesmee implored about Jacob's work at the shop. They spoke about how fun Jacob's graduation party was, touched base on the whole thirty six hours they spent apart and how weird next year was going to be, being three hundred and fifty miles away from one another.

Hours later, the couple were lying in bed. Ness found herself enfolded in Jacob's arms watching a movie. It was one of particular interest but they needed something to pass the time until Edward came home with dinner.

"Are you going to the Hanny's party on Saturday?" Jacob inquired about his nieces third birthday.

From down stairs Bella shouted, "Dinner's here!"

"Yeah, I need to get a gift," Nessie answered, the couple simultaneously hoping up from the bed and stepping down the staircase. Jacob shadowed behind her suggesting,"You said, she likes to draw so I got her an art kit and tons of notepads, just get a card and we'll put both our names on it."

"Sure, sure," she agreed hearing a small quarrel amongst her parents. Apparently, Edward didn't want Jacob upstairs.

+The Following Afternoon+

On her stomach, Nessie's hands gripped the cold metal, as if a tornado was going to rip her from the bed. Perhaps, this position wasn't the best. Through the bars of her iron bed, she felt jailed. When the tingle, like an ants stinging bite, grew from her knuckles to her finger tips, she loosened her grip. Observing her knuckles change from snowy white to a blotchy red, Ness compressed her hands tight then loose until they were no longer numb. The adolescent girl was agitated that everything had to adjust in life. She didn't get why nothing could remain the same. How come feelings vary, looks transform, people change, they grow up, move away, women give life and humans pass away. Nearly bursting into tears, Nessie thought, _Why must everything change?_

A knock at her door startled her. In nothing flat she sat up, swabbing at her eyes in case any tears escaped. Hurriedly, she crossed her legs and snatched the book that she gave a go earlier.

"Yes?" she answered to whoever stricken at her door.

Bella glided in quietly, halting at the end of the black wrought iron bed. Crossing her arms, Bella smirked. Seeing her daughter in scrubs, tickled her. What really put a smile on her face was that fact that they were both wearing the same navy blue outfits.

"How has work been?"

Letting go of a huge sigh Ness said, "Tiring."

"Welcome to adult life."

Ness rolled her eyes at her mother's comment, turning her attention back to the book she really had no interest in at the moment. Hoping that action would get her mother to leave, Ness flipped the page pretending to be very engaged by the manuscript. However, no such luck. She could feel her mother's gaze searing at the side of her face. Still, she ignored her by scanning her eyes across the pages.

In front of Bella's eyes the adolescent materialized from a girl, into a young women. She appeared so professional and grown up in her attire. She was thankful Jasper's offered her a summer job at his friend, Peter's, physical therapy office. Seeing Renesemee wallow in loneliness the first week out of school, wasn't a pleasant thing. In that week she was on such a short fuse, Edward and Bella had no clue what to do. They threatened her with grounding. When that didn't work, they said her privilege to see Jacob was being revoked but Renesmee's only reply was, "I don't care, I have to get used to not seeing Jacob anyways."

Shutting the paperback, Ness gaped at the cover saying, "Mom?"

"Yes, Ness?"

Turning her head, Renesmee questioned something she's always wondered about. "Do you ever resent me?"

Shocked, Bella's eyes widened and her mouth hung agape for a short time until she cross-examined Ness with concern. "Resent you?"

Furiously, shaking her head, Bella sat at Nessie's side denying her daughter's confusing question. "No. No, never. Do you think your dad and I do?"

" I forced you and Dad to get married. It would, it'd make sense if you hated me."

Taking one of Renesmee's hands, Bella denied that. "I don't, we don't, "

"But," Ness began, pulling her hand from her mothers, " if I wasn't born, maybe you'd both would be happier."

"We are happy," she smiled. Draping an arm across Nessie's back, Bella squeezed at her daughter's shoulders. "Guess what?"

Not getting a reply, Bella continued, "You didn't sway our decision to get married."

"You swear, I didn't?"

Bella removed her arm from around her daughter ,when Ness shrugged her off. The girl continually assumed she was invincible, that she needed no one besides herself. _And Jacob_. Scooting over Bella gave her daughter space, which was something she rarely did. Edward had to remind Bella time and again_, "Just leave her be._" She understood that Ness was a teenager, but it didn't mean she didn't want to hug and smother her with kisses. Especially, with Ness thinking she and Edward resented her made Bella want to console her even more.

Fighting the urge to swath her, Bella reassured, "Promise. You're father and I planned to get married the second I turned eighteen. We wanted you. Believe me we wanted you. You came much sooner than we expected, though."

"So you didn't just get married to Edward cuz he fathered your child?."

After she asked, Bella detected a hint of arcane behind Nessie's eyes. _What is she hiding?_

Disregarding Nessie's expression, she answered, "No, you father and I got married because we love one another. It wasn't like my parents. Grandpa Charlie and Grandma Renee loved one another but they weren't in love, they only got married because Gran was pregnant with me. Which was a mistake, you should never force love, like they did. All that came out of their relationship was heartache. If everyone married only because they had child with someone, there would be millions of unhappy marriages. As for your father and I, your birth only assured us that we were meant to be. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Anything else?" Bella requested.

"Did you get everything out of life, that you hoped?"

"More. I got you, a supportive husband and extended family, a fulfilling career. What more could I ask for?"

Unfolding her legs, Ness let her feet hang of the edge of the bed as she added, "Grandchildren?"

"Ha, don't make me laugh Ness. I love you."

Clasping a wrist with a hand, Nessie muttered, "Love you."

Frowning, Bella started for the door, knowing there was something up with Nessie.

"Oh!" Bella gasped, " How'd you appointment go today? Are you sick?"

"Yeah, the doctor said it'll pass." _In nine months._

Bella gave a half smile and before she stepped into the hallway Nessie cried, "Mom?"

Rushing to her side, Bella saw obscurity radiate from the teenager. "What? What is it?" she pleaded.

Going to speak, Renesmee lowered her jaw, only nothing came out. Staring blankly ahead at the tan wall she babbled, "Uhm…" Forcing her eyes shut, she quietly, and calmly uttered, "I'm pregnant."

With her eyelids still pressed shut, she waited for her mother's response. She was preparing for her to shout and scold her for being so careless. So, when Bella sighed, " Tell me it's not Nahuel's," Ness was befuddled.

Snapping her head to see her mother's expression, she promised, "It's not."

Clutching her chest, Bella retorted, "Oh! Thank God. Renesmee, I thought we had this talk? I hope you'd learn from your father and I. You saw how hard it was for us."

" I'm aware things were hard for you and daddy…" Hanging her head low Ness spoke to herself, " Everyone calls me a slut anyways."

"Do you sleep around?"

"Mom!"

"Rosalie told me about some rumors and suggested we put you on birth control. I told her I trusted you, I told her you were smart."

"Mom, I'm sorry."

"So the rumors are true?"

"No. NO! I only had sex with one guy, one time. Okay twice but it was, I wanted it to feel better than the first time ."

Holding her hand up to halt any further information from her daughter, Bella uncomfortably said, " I don't need to hear anymore."

Silence hung in the air, as Bella thought over the unexpected news. The first thing being,_ I can't be angry with her, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite. _

Finally speaking, Bella queried, "How far along do you think you are?"

Tugging at the necklace around her neck, Ness answered unsure, "The doctor said maybe six weeks but I'm not sure, how long ago was prom?"

"But you went to prom with Nahuel!" she shrieked.

"I swear to you Nahuel isn't the father. You can be sure of that."

Speechlessness overcame both women. While Bella was formulating a plan together in her mind, Ness looked around her room wondering how the space could be rearranged to accommodate a baby. Her mother mind wandered from planning to remanecing the day Renesmee was brought home from the hospital. It was just yesterday that Ness was learning to walk and now she was expecting a child of her own. Bella remember how terrified she was, not for her future, but for Edward's. Bella recalled how fearful she was, to tell her parents she was pregnant, to ruin Edward's life and to give up her freedom. She cried for days since the second she found out about her pregnancy whereas Renesmee didn't shed a tear.

" You're awfully calm about this."

"Sorry, I'm not in hysterics," The acerbity Ness used was even more bitter than her recent attitude problem. "The initial shock 'll wear off soon, then I'll cry."

"I'm not asking you to cry," Bella responded jumping up from the bed.

" You just," Bella paused to calm herself, "you seem, okay with this?"

"I'm not. Actually, I'm quite freaked out, but more shocked than anything. "

Leaning back into the sleek modern dresser, Bella settled her hands on its' edge saying, "It's a scary feeling isn't it?"

"I don't want my relationship with Jacob to change," Nessie grumbled while biting her thumb nail.

"Men like Jacob are hard to come by, I think Jacob will be your friend no matter what. Anyways, you have other things to worry about."

"But babies change relationships. Don't they?" Seeing her mother nod in agreement worried Ness, proceeding she added, "What if Jake doesn't want to help me."

"Help you?" she asked, pushing herself away from the dresser. Bella stood erect realizing Ness was giving away valuable information.

Bringing her hand to her forehead, Ness smacked it while rambling more to herself, rather than her mother. "Oh that sounds stupid, I trust Jake, but what if he hates me? I don't want him to hate me."

Bella probed for more facts. "Why would he have to help you and why would he hate you?"

"Cuz the baby. Uh, I'm being dumb– Jake'll be a good father."

"Jacob's the dad?"

"Is that bad?"

Strangely, Bella burst into laughter as she hugged her daughter close. Ness hugged back, puzzled by her mom's giddiness.

"You're father's gonna kill him," she chuckled releasing the hug.

"Dad better not touch him," Ness warned, " I need him now more than I ever did."

"How'd you, I mean you and Jake? Jacob Black? Mr. Sure, sure?"

Ness shrugged. While Releasing an exaggerate sigh, she ran her fingers through her hair saying, "It just happened."

"I should have known," Bella smiled, "all the signs were there."

"Huh?"

"Aren't you? I mean, did you tell him about this?"

The girl shook her head. She hadn't seen Jacob since last night and he wouldn't be over this evening because he was working late at the garage. To give the bad news over the phone was improper.

Renesmee's mother was pointing at her stomach now, wondering, "This happened at prom?"

Nessie nodded.

Tightly, Bella pressed her lips together knowing she would have to have a chat with Rosalie and Emmet about this. Ness was supposedly in their care at that time.

" What happened afterwards? "

Picking up her novel again, Nessie picked at the frayed edges giving the details of the aftershock of prom night. " We kinda, avoided talking about it, pretend it didn't happen. One day he came clean saying, he wasn't thinking, and he felt like he took advantage of me."

"Did he?"

" Jacob would never do anything like that. He- he made sure I was okay with what happened, he doublechecked, triple checked if I wanted it to happen. Anyways, he came to me worried because we didn't use protction and I told him he had nothing to worry about the chances of me being pregnant was zero cuz I had my period. I had my freaking period how can I be pregnant?"

Tapping into her medical knowledge, Bella announced, "You could still have vaginal discharge that's similar to you period."

"I know that now."

"So where do you and Jacob stand?"

"We're friends, that's it," she whispered morosely, " I mean he didn't even want to have sex."

"Then why did you?"

"I figured, I had to prove to him all those rumors weren't true, that I was a virgin. And I rather lose my virginity to my best friend, who actually cares about me rather than Nahuel or some other jerk that only wants one thing."

Again, Bella leaned against the dresser with an arm curled under her breast and her hand pressed to her chin.

"How we gonna tell your dad?"

Ness emulated her mother's position, sitting on the bed. Moving her hand from her chin to her temple, Ness asked, "Do you think he'll be mad?"

"Mmm?" Bella's shoulders jerked up. Scowling she carried on, " He was excited when I told him about you, but your dad's unpredictable. Maybe, I should call him, give him a heads up."

"Mom, don't tell Dad. Please, I haven't even told Jake."

"Fine. I won't say a word. He's working a double which means he won't be home until tomorrow afternoon. But you tell Jacob before your father gets home tomorrow"

Ness brought out her sense of humor by saluting her mother, crooning, "Yes ma'am."

"After we'll tell your dad and figure things out." Stepping forward, Bella kissed her daughter's forehead, reassuring, " This little baby'll be a great blessing, I promise."

Shaking her head, Ness wasn't so sure.

Patting at her daughter's back, Bella assured, "This is happening for a reason. Trust in God."

"I'm going to bed, I told Rachel I'd help decorate for Hannah's party."

Hugging her daughter, Bella said,"Night, I love you." And left her with a kiss on the cheek. Though, being Bella she didn't want to leave her daughter quite yet.

"Love you," Nessie replied pulling pajama's from the bottom drawer, " I'm really sorry mom."

Clasping at the iron of the bed's footboard Bella promised, "I'm not angry with you. People make mistakes, and people in love get carried away."

"Jake and I aren't in love mom."

" But you two," pausing, Bella finally comprehended why Nessie was so, agitated with everything. It was horomones from her pregnancy. Not wanting an argument to erupt about Ness and Jacob's relationship, Bella past up the subject. " Whatever you say Ness. At least you made it to seventeen. I was sixteen, when I got pregnant with you."

Trying to see the brighter side, Ness said, "I'll be eighteen when the baby's born."

"Yeah well, congratulations, I guess."

"Thanks ma."

Grinning, Bella wrapped her arms around her daughter. Hugging her mother was still awkward, but Ness weakly returned another hug whilst brushing one of her mother's arm. Drawing back, Bella stood upright with her hands covering her mouth. Exhaling, Bella brought both hands to her collar bone. She kept the grin on her face thankful that Jacob was the father. He was a stand up kid, loyal and the best part was, he loved her daughter.

"_Thank God it's Jacob's_," was the last words from her mouth.

* * *

**Author's Note:** My sincerest apologies. I found out if I edit on-line for a lengthy amount of time, it will not save. Pisses me off! I always thought my internet card screwed that up. So I'm sorry this is not the original but I hope you all liked it anyways. Again I'm sorry, it didn't save the original so I didn't name drop you guys and thank all of you individually on my author's notes this time. But you guys have certainly, given me drive to keep writing this story. In case you guys didn't catch this, I changed my user name to match the one on my fictionpress account. By the way, have started a story on their if you would like to check it out.

NOW! Can you believe it? Nessie's pregnant! How do you think Jacob will react to this? What do you think she's having? How do you think Edward and Billy will react to the news? SO many questions. But isn't Nessie's reaction strange? As for the quote, "If this is a **blessing**, it is certainly very well disguised." It's an answer to Bella's statement, "This little baby will be a blessing, I promise." Well I don't think any teenager would see it that way. So if you have any questions, lay 'em on me. Read, review and enjoy! Reviews get previews, if you have reviewed and haven't recieved a preview pm me to let me know, I'll make sure you get the next chapter's review. Happy reading. Oh, I may put a poll up. Do you want it to be a boy or girl?


	14. Unexpected Announcement

_"The nature of bad news infects the teller."_

**Chapter 14 –Unexpected Announcement-**

"What's wrong with you?" Jacob asked, glancing over at Renesmee. Her entire demeanor was extremely desolate. There was practically, no emotion in her at all.

"Nothing," Ness replied, staring out the passenger window of her Volvo. With Jacob's lead foot, the green scenery passed by to quickly for her to enjoy. Usually, Ness would scold Jacob for speeding but, they were nearly an hour late to Hannah's third birthday party. Renesmee said she'd meet him there, but he insisted she pick him up so they show up together. She accepted his offer to fill up her tank and figured it was him wasting his own money. Ness felt the pang of guilt for conceding him to spend his money so needlessly. They were having a child after all, and all money should be put into savings.

"You sure? You seem…" he paused searching for the word, "distant?"

"Tired," she muttered not rotating her head to meet his vision. And though, it was the truth, that was not the real reason for her sulking. Unthinkingly, Ness had been distant since she found out about her pregnancy. When Jake picked her up from her home, she didn't give him a hug the second she saw him or try to hold his hand as they walked to the car. For Jacob, this was out of the ordinary. In the last month, they've been closer than ever before, albeit there was no kissing, Jake felt like they were a couple.

"I started packing some of my things- " Jake started before instantly changing his thought, "Oh. Hey! Maybe if you apply to Oregon State early you'd get in for sure."

His face lit up as he spoke about his second year of college with her there. They made those plans the second he accepted his football scholarship to Oregon State. Jake kept going on and on about how they'd try to take some core classes together and maybe even rent a house or apartment together. Not wanting to disrupt his excitement, she responded earnestly with no real belief in what he said. "Sure Jake, we can do that."

Seeing the ends of his lips curled up pleased her, almost as much as it killed her. She knew none of what he suggested would happen, not if she was keeping this baby. _Maybe I shouldn't tell him, let him go to college. When he graduates I'll tell him. I'll run away, that's it, I'll leave Washington. _

Presently, her mind was considering the extremes, like running away or leaving to giving birth and return baby free just in time for Jake's return on Christmas contemplated the different scenarios that could come from telling him, not telling him, of having an abortion or giving it up for adoption. Each had its draw backs and some positive outcomes. She didn't think much about these options the night before. All she wondered was how Jacob would react.

Catching on to Nessie's somber attitude, Jake left one hand on the steering wheel, turned his vision from the road and asked, "Are sure nothing's wrong?"

"We'll talk about it later."

Nodding, he twisted the conversation to another subject, "What'd the doctor say?"

Clenching her fist, Ness tried not to snap at him but failed when she boisterously barked, "Jacob, I don't want to talk right now!"

Out of respect and confusion of her outburst, he stopped speaking and continued to drive over to Paul and Rachel's place.

Jacob opened the door to the once abandoned barn, hollering, "Knock, knock!"

The faded echoes of voices could be heard the second the couple stepped through the threshold. Ness gazed up at the giant gambrel home's exposed wooden beams in marvel. She did each time, astonished that Jacob, Paul and the rest of the La Push men renovated the old barn into a beautiful home.

The second Jacob's nephew, Paul Junior, caught his uncle's voice he flew to the front door and shouted, "Uncle Jakey!"

Ness ruffled the young boy's black hair as she passed by, greeting, "Hey Buddy."

The three year old looked up at her with his deep brown eyes and gave a grin like his father's. Making a bee line to the kitchen Nessie, really hoped he wouldn't turn out as jesting as Paul. The world could only handle one Paul Theil.

Jacob scooped his nephew up and the toddler hugged him as firmly as he could with his short, chubby arms.

Setting him down, Jacob pulled out a new, unwrapped Matchbox car." Here."

"Car!" he exclaimed, snatching it from Jake all while jumping up and down.

Jacob knelt down, whispering, "Shh shh_."_

_" You're moms gonna kill me for buying you another toy," _he grumbled under his breath_. _"Nessie picked it out just for you, do you like it?"

The boy furiously nodded.

"Good, now, where's Hannah?" he asked searching for the birthday girl.

Nessie walked into the kitchen area where most women have seemed to gather. The first thing she did was pick up a chip and dip it in a bowl of guacamole. Spotting the youngsters french braids, Ness squeezed at her sides, causing her to giggle. Hannah turned around smiling.

With the gift in hand, Ness knelt and wrapped her arms soon to be preschooler, saying, "Happy birthday, Hanny!"

After the hug, Hannah cocked her head saying, "You already told me that this morning."

Rachel observed with a grin, ordering, "Say thank you."

Ness laughed and witnessed Hannah's brown orbs light up when she spotted the giant orange bag with ringlets of yellow, pink and orange ribbon. She clenched her fists and convulsed in excitement, giggling, "Tank you aunt Nessie."

Ness chuckled, "Welcome."

"Ness, thanks for coming over this morning to help."

"No problem Rach." Looking down at Hannah, Ness redirected her attention from the present she handed over to Rachel, to something else. "Hannah how old are you today?"

"Three," she reacted holding two fingers up. Ness helped her flip the last finger up so all three fingers that should have been up, were.

Noticing Jacob walk up with Little Paul, she over exaggerated her comment, "Did you hear that Jacob? Hanny's three."

Spinning round, Hannah exclaimed, "Jakey!"

Running to him, she jumped up and Jake caught her declaring, "Happy Birthday, Hannah."

In a fit of jealousy, Paul Jr. tugged at Jacob's shirt saying, "I'm gonna be four on October."

Later on, while everyone gathered outside in the rarely seen sun, Jacob and Renesmee found themselves eating inside the home at the dining room table. A few people were sprinkled in the living room and many flew in and out of the home to grab more food or make small talk with Nessie and Jacob, but eventually they were alone with the exception of Paul Junior happily on Jacob's lap munching on food. Nessie picked at her plate as Jake helped Paul Junior put ketchup on his hot dog.

Kim, whom graduated last year, waddled her way to the countertop abundant of appetiziers and snacks, collecting second's for Jared. Ness observed the nineteen year olds round belly, aware that to have a child was Kim's choice, or so she was told. _Stupid_, she thought taking a bite of her pasta salad. It wasn't that she had anything against Kim, she merely thought Jared and Kim were idiots for being married so young with no stable income to support their child and no home to live in.

Unknown to Nessie, Jacob saw Kim too but didn't have such a grim view on her pregnancy. He only wished he was lucky enough, to wed and start a family with his _soul_ mate at a young age, preferably, directly after he graduated college. With thoughts of soul mates and children, Jacob looked to the brunette at his side, unable to hide his smile.

Ness scraped some of the pasta that Paul was eyeing, onto his plate. Gleefully, Paul grinned and ate the slippery noodles with his fingers. Nessie grabbed his plastic fork and urged him to use it. Reluctantly, he began to but wanted to give up when the pasta slithered from the tines of the fork. With more encouragement, Ness cheered him on, praising his effort.

Her hair was pinned up in a messy side bun and the dark circles under her eyes seemed to stand out more than usual. Nonetheless, Jacob still thought she was beautiful and watching her be mothering toward Paul only caused his affections towards her to soar higher. However, he knew the sensible thing and to marry her now was reckless. Shaking his head, Jake verbalized, " I don't get why everyone's having kids so young. I mean Jared just turned twenty one."

Ness picked up Paul Junior's mess as he kept eating shrugging and countering, "Accidents happen."

Jacob picked Paul up from his lap and sat him in the nearest chair stating, "I think that's why they got married."

"Really?"

"Yeah but he did the right thing."

Pushing her plate away, Ness felt nauseated. Would Jacob try to marry her, only because it was the right thing to do? Wiping at Paul's face, Ness irately expressed her opinion, "Marrying some girl because he knocked her up, is stupid."

Ness found that it was dignified of Jared but plain idiotic. Mockingly, she said, " I'm sure that's the basis of any thriving marriage."

"I actually think they planned for it but if they didn't, it seemed to have worked out for Rachel and Paul and your parents."

"But my parents were in love."

"And you don't think Kim and Jared love each other?"

What could she say to that comment? Were her assumptions pure fallacy? Coiling her head to Kim and Jared's direction, she saw the couple on the couch speaking with other's but somehow still blissfully wrapped up in one another. _What if they were meant to be the way my parents were? _Ness pondered it, her parents did after all have a fifteen year marriage under their belt and Paul and Rachel seemed to be doing well.

Changing the subject she said, "Do you think we can leave a little early?"

"What for?"

She knew she had to tell him, but it wasn't the right time, not with people fluttering about and little ears listening in.

"We just need to spend some time together, away from everyone," she notified coolly, as if she only wanted to be free of the crowd.

"Kay," he agreed, " Let's wait until after presents."

"Presents?" Little Paul bellowed eagerly.

Proving her right, Nessie snickered at Little Paul's eavesdropping. "Not for you."

"Hello all," Emily Uley bellowed catching many people's attention.

Jacob grunted a hello as he chewed the masticated burger in his mouth.

As the kitchen became flourished with people greeting Emily and the baby in her arms, Ness said with a hint of surprise, " Emily? How are you?"

"With this kid, geez," Emily gave a playful frustrated grimace, " I've never felt so exhausted in all my life."

"Aww-haa," Ness gave a sympathetic chuckled, "Where's Sam?"

"He went around the side."

Rachel strolled in with Hannah and said hello to Emily and the baby. Poor Nessie's mind was running a million miles a minute, not only from the bad news she had to tell Jacob but she wasn't sure whether or not she liked Emily. She did after all steal away Leah's high school sweetheart. Because that, Jacob comforted Leah with his big heart by starting a relationship with her. Not only did that bother Ness but the sight of a baby made Ness nervous.

She felt as if she was walking across a rickety bridge and as soon as she fell through the planking, and hit the raged rocks at the bottom, she'd scream. If that baby got any closer to her, she was going to scream bloody murder. Ness swallowed the dry lump in her throat when Emily dropped into the chair directly beside her.

Jacob picked up all the trash from Paul, Ness and himself leaving Nessie alone with Emily, Kim and Rachel.

"She's so big." Ness smiled and posed as though, she really enjoyed the company of Emily and the baby.

"Wanna hold her?"

Ness lifted her hands waving them back and forth saying, "No, thanks."

Rachel tapped at Nessie's shoulder persuading for her to hold the bundle of joy. "Come on give Emily a break."

Hannah leaned onto Nessie's lap with her elbows as Ness replied, " I'm not good with babies."

"Aunty Ness I want to open presents," Hannah interrupted knocking on Ness's thigh with her palms.

"We have to wait until everyone's done eating."

"But-"

"No buts-" Ness playfully warned, draping an unfolded fresh napkin over the girls head. She knew it would distract her for a few minutes.

Kim chimed in, "You're good with kids, so you must be good with babies."

"No, that's okay."

"Oh, nonsense!" Emily voiced handing the baby over ,"Hold her."

Tensely, Renesmee accepted. "Alright?"

The baby was pacified by a pink binky and Ness saw what a beautiful thing a baby was. With miniature hands, a small button nose and little ears. Renesmee was awe struck at the snoozing babe. Slowly, Nessie's tense posture softened. What was this bizarre feeling she felt?

"She's, a little tiny human being," Ness stated, amused with her own veneration with the infant.

"That's what they call a baby, smart one."

Leering at Jacob's silly comment, Nessie retorted with a giggle, "Shut up Jacob."

"Is dat a ittle baby?" Hannah asked standing on her tippy toes to see the baby girl.

Jacob picked the girl up the birthday girl offering her a better view, and answered, "Yeah, do you like the baby?"

"I like the baby!"

"Shh, shh," Jake counseled stepping away from the babe-in arms.

Nessie's heart was brimming with mothering instinct_. Could having baby be so horrible? All it'll do is sleep like baby, uh what's her name?_

Ness turned to Emily requesting the baby's name. "What's her name?"

"Leah Autumn Uley."

Ness bit her lip, astounded at how serene she felt with a baby in her arms. Peering up at Jacob, he had Hannah on his hip, and he was making her giggle with the puckered kisses he repeatedly placed on her cheeks. Maybe, just maybe having a baby wouldn't be so bad. Jacob seemed to handle himself well, and with him as a father she'd have a gorgeous looking kid, that was a fact.

In her head, she'd give birth and go back to regular life. Ness knew her mother would help and if not she had Rosalie, who would devote her life to her child, since she was sterile. If she couldn't turn to Rosalie, she had Alice, Grandma Esme and Sue. Ness thought over how cute her child would be in their miniature outfits and shoes.

Hannah proceeded to open her presents and not for a second did Ness let go of Leah Autumn. She fed her and burped her and when she noticed it was nearly four she returned the baby to her mother. Wondering outside she searched for Jacob knowing it was time to tell him the unexpected announcement. She found him eating cake with Quil, Seth and Claire.

Ness drove Jacob down to first beach, where they spent the rest of the afternoon strolling along the coast. Renesmee attempted to tell Jacob but she brought up anything on her mind besides her pregnancy. They settled into the sand and watched the sunset where Ness nearly spilled the truth, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She thought the moment was to beautiful to ruin.

Shutting down the engine, Ness parked infront of Jacob's home.

Pulling the keys from the ignition, she fiddled with them as she called, " Jacob?"

"Yeah?" he reciprocated.

" Uhm…Today was fun."

"Yeah it was."

Ness couldn't find the words, so she opened her mouth rambling on, "Do you ever wish you could just freeze one second in time or a period of time and put it into a box, and like jump into it and stay there forever. I do right now. In fact, I do every time I'm with you specifically the time after prom up until yesterday. I wish it could have stayed like that forever."

"Up until yesterday? What's so bad about today?"

"I-uh," she fumbled, " Oh forget it, I'll see you later."

"No, what were you gonna say?"

"Uhm- Will you promise not to get angry?"

"Well it depends on what you're telling me. What is it?"

He waited for her to articulate something, anything. Nessie apprehensively bit her lip, and by the look of it, Jacob recognized the expression. It was the same one she gave when she informed him about a new boyfriend.

"You have a new boyfriend, don't you?"

At once she defensively responded, "No."

Jacob began to worry when she buried her face into her hands. "Baby, tell me."

"Don't call me that!"

"You never complained before."

"Jacob. I'm, pregnant."

"Excuse me?"

"Did you not hear what I said? I thought I was pretty clear."

"I thought you? You had your period."

"I did, or I thought I did. I guess it's the implantation of the something to my uterine lining? Whatever the hell that means."

For a brief second, he swore she was joking, her angelic face was too calm. Renesmee's reaction isn't what you would expect from a seventeen year old mother to be. He was scared but couldn't help but smile. The woman of his dreams was pregnant with his child. The best part was she appeared alright with the fact that he was the father. It was completely curious, that she was eerily peaceful. Pressing himself further back into the seat he could see a slight smirk grace her face and plastered across his was a gigantic grin. _She messing with me._

"You're lyin?"

Instantly, the light grin was swiped clean from her face. Her head snapped in his direction with a momentous expression, full of sorrow and mild bitterness. "Why would I lie about this?"

"You ain't messin with me?"

"Scouts honor," she promised holding up the three fingers between her pinky and thumb. What really made him a believer was the crease between her coffee eyebrows.

"You're not crying?" Jake questioned, "Or even appear to be upset."

"I'm scared if that's what you're asking."

"Wait, before we do anything I want proof."

"Proof?" she spat.

Jacob witnessed her slightly aggravated appearance fade to pure rage.

Literally, biting her tongue, Ness talked herself through this task. _Stay calm_. So instead of yelling at him she muttered under her breath, "Give me a few months and I'll give you proof."

"Let's go get a test."

The urge to punch him unexpectedly came to mind. Of all things to lie about, to joke about, it wouldn't be this. Renesmee knew, this would be a funny hoax if she told Claire or Embry but to mess with Jacob, the friend who took her virginity contraception free, was plain cruel.

Inhaling, than exhaling Ness rested the back of her head on the headrest, relaxing herself_. Why did I feel the need to have sex with him? This could ruin my life, this could ruin his life. Maybe, I should go get an abortion? _

The tears she knew would spill out, were held in by her tightly shut eyelids. And with her head tilted up, there was no way they'd escape. Jacob on the other hand, propped his head up and gazed out the window speechless. He fought very hard to not let Ness see him tear up. He was scared and disappointed. He worked so hard for his scholarship and suddenly it was taken away.

Steadily, Ness tugged at the necklace around her throat and effortlessly delivered with limited detail, what had happened at the doctor's office. It wasn't much, she came in informing Dr. that she was tired, had a nervous stomach, runny nose and headaches. When he asked if she had sexual intercourse recently, she froze with embarrassment. With a light nod, the doctor almost guaranteed she was pregnant, and after a simple urine test and examination the doc confirmed she was with child. In less than twenty minutes she was in and out of the medical building in twenty minutes.

Staring up at the Volvo's fabric ceiling, Ness enlightened Jacob, "I went to the doctor's yesterday. Remember? He said, 'You're not depressed or getting sick, you're pregnant."

"It'll give me a piece of mind if I see it for myself."

With a derisive laugh and a sneered lip she snarled, "You don't trust me."

"No, I do," he reassured her that, her statement was false, " It's just-"

Throwing her hand up, she uttered, "Never mind Jacob, forget about it. "

If he didn't want to take her word for it, so be it. She didn't' need him, she had her family. She could feel her heart sink, with the thought of Jake not helping or not crediting her words.

"Hold on…" he ordered grabbing her wrist as she went to place the keys in the ignition.

"Just get out of my car," she growled, pulling her hand back. Angrily, she rammed the key into the ignition.

Again, Jacob grabbed her wrist and took hold of her jaw with his countering hand, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

" I believe you."

Relief flooded her entire body. Releasing a sigh and a pried smirk, she placed her hand over his and lowered it from her chin. Squeezing his hand tight, she looked down at the taut hold he still had on her wrist. Once she pried his grasp loose, she took both his hands in hers, and deliberately kissed both his enormous palms.

There wasn't much she could think to say besides, "Thank you."

Reaching across the center console, Jacob consumed her by his well-developed arms. He really couldn't believe it, he didn't want to. Though, he wasn't ready to become a father, he welcomed it with the confidence that they'd end up together, as he's always wanted.

Finally, Ness did let a tear fall when he hugged her. She could feel the how muscular his arms were, and in his embrace she felt the support and love. He was going to help her.

When he brought his lips to her flush cheek, she stiffened and ended the hug. Tucking some hair behind her ear, she licked her lips and said, "Uhm, I have an appointment in two weeks if you want to go."

"Yeah, I'll go."

Nessie's messy do, bounced atop her head as she nodded looking straight out the windshield at the empty street.

Jacob examined Nessie's attitude with the whole ordeal. He couldn't figure out why she was so composed. Was it her ignorance and strong will that left her dry eyed? He wasn't sure, but this didn't seem to faze her, the least bit.

"Should we start dating, or?"

"Nothing should change between us."

Those words flew from her mouth to quickly, and to hear it stabbed Jacob in the heart. He countered, "But don't you think it's best the parents be together?"

"I think it's best the parents are civil with one another. We shouldn't change all our plans in life only cuz we're having a kid."

He wasn't sure where her mind was but she must have not grasped the concept. Rubbing his temple, he informed, "But here's the thing Ness, we are having a baby. Our plans have to change."

"No they don't," she promised with a serious scowl, "I'm not going to throw away all my dreams away cuz of this."

"I didn't say that."

Jacob saw her leg anxiously bounce. "Pretend," she started running her finger through her loose bangs, "pretend I'm not pregnant."

"I can't do that!" he said with a hint of anger.

One of her eyebrows rose when she said, "Outta sigh, outta mind?"

"It doesn't work that way with this Ness. By next month you'll be showing, or, or soon," he really wasn't sure but he assumed, " and it'll be in plain sight, you can't pretend it's not real or hide it."

Going wide eyed, Ness cried, "I can't go back to school like this."

"Why not?"

"I'm ashamed," she whined pressing her forehead against the stearing wheel. Both her hands gripped at ten and two as she moaned, "aww man."

"You're ashamed, for what?" Jake questioned rubbing her back, "Giving life or embracing your mistake?"

Raising her head from the wheel, she lifted one side of her lip. "It doesn't sound as bad when you put it that way."

Jacob reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. "It's not a bad thing Ness."

"But we weren't even a couple, we're not married."

"Neither were you're parents."

To convoluted with herself, Ness didn't hear what he said. She blurted, "I haven't graduated yet."

"You will…" he swore.

"Do you," Jake began. He paused rotating his body as much as the room in Nessie's car allowed him to face her directly. If she was so ashamed that they weren't a couple and that she was unwed he'd fix that.

"Do," he stuttered, locking his caramel eyes with hers. They stared at one another for a lengthy amount of time befre Jake swallowed hard and finished, "do you wanna get married?"

Ness didn't pull her hand away nor she didn't flinch at his proposal. She gripped his hand tighter, saying, "Not at seventeen, no."

He knew it was a long shot, but he tried. "Listen I love you," he declared bundling her in a tight hug, " I'll be whatever you need me to be."

"I need you to be a good dad to this baby. I need my best friend to help me through this."

PLacing his hand on her cheek, he smiled. "Those are both a given."

"Don't let me down, Jake."

"I won't, you know I'm always here for you."

"I know," she agreed bobbing her head up and down.

"Do your parents know?"

Freaking out she shouted, "My dad's gonna blow a flippin fuse."

"So they don't know yet?"

"I told my mom."

"How'd she take it?"

"Surprisingly, well. She's happy it's yours."

"So grandma Bella approves?" he teased.

"To my mom anything you do is fine by her, I think she's actually excited? This morning she was showing me all my old baby stuff."

"That's, good, I guess?"

"Not when I'm trying to sleep."

" I gotta tell my dad," he sighed. Nessie's eyes filled with fear but Jacob reassured, "Don't worry my dad'll be cool with this."

"Cool with this?" she sarcastically laughed, " You're joking?"

"You know my dad, he's laid back 'Make the best of it."

"Kay" she exhaled with consolation. Rolling her eyes she continued, "but what about my dad?"

"I can handle myself."

Nessie's eyebrows furrowed at his brutal conjection."You act like there's gonna be full out brawl or something?"

"Who knows?" he shrugged, " He's protective over you. It's why you've lived such a sheltered life."

Her tone was etched with defense."No I haven't."

"Ness your dad doesn't want you dating 'til you're thirty and he won't let you drink tap water."

She tried to justify her father's protective behavior by replying, "Him wanting me healthy is a crime?"

"No him treating you like you committed a crime is the problem."

"He's not that bad, plus you know why he is the way he is."

Chuckling to himself, Jacob said, "You wanted to sneak out and have a midnight snack, not me."

"Mhh-uhh" she disagreed while sneering, " don't blame me, you came and picked me up."

"I don't know why we thought we could get away with it."

"We could've if you met me down at the end of the road like I said but no you show up in my driveway so my parents can hear your bike being reeved up."

By now the two forgot about the aftermath of their promnight.

"I wasn't going to make you walk down the block in the middle of the night, you were only thirteen."

"I only lived here for three weeks and we were going to take off to the liquor store," Both their laughter faded with the rememberance of the pregnancy.

Ness looked over to Jacob, and went to start the car. "Anyways, I'll finish talking to you tomorrow?"

Jacob reached over and detached the keys from the ignition stating, "We have to tell my dad."

"Now?" she whined.

"Don't you think the sooner the better?"

"No."

"He'll be more pissed if we hide this from him."

"You're right, we better tell your dad since we're here."

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**Author's Note:** I really hoped ya'll enjoyed this chapter, I tried to het it up to you asap. I think the quote speaks for itself. The news is the one affecting Nessie, she's got a million thoughts stirring about in her head. But so far, she still can't think clearly. She isn't fully grasping the entirety of this situation. Can you see that? Did I clarify that? Notice how good Jacob and Ness are with kids. I really wanted to add that so you the reader see what Ness and Jacob have already seen in one another.

Oh, if your read either Bound on my fictionpress or Last Sunrise/Gravity, in your review let me know and not only will I send you a preview for Chapter 15 of Fated but a preview to the other story you read. It's my way of apologizing for taking an eternity to update either of them.

**Thanks to:** Lettuce., tatiana talissa, pattyheartcake, sarah, Tashay789, X3MonochromeX3, nfanpepsi, dkgors, megatronsen1125, emma01, jemmac77, gh0stwriter, ScorpiusRoseLover and EfficientVixen.


	15. Resistance is Futile

A/N: WHAAAAAAAT! I updated earlier than I thought and not in the middle of the week! THIS IS INSANE! Hope ya'll have a great weekend!

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_"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."_

**Chapter 15 – Resistance is Futile-**

At Jacob's front door, Nessie hesitated. She paced back and forth, fiddling with her car keys. All Jacob could do was helplessly watch and give her that outlet to channel her anxiety. Throwing her head back, she gazed up at the extreme plum and navy blue vastness. Thousands if not millions of stars poked through the night sky like punctures in a black piece of cardboard paper. For a brief second, the sight of a nebula caused her to dismiss the problem at hand. Many times Jacob and she would take out a blanket, find a spot to lay and appreciate the heavens above. They'd search out constellations, all while talking about what they desired out of life.

Rensemee didn't necessarily have any life goals then, and she didn't now, but she wouldn't have the option to dream any longer. As much as she wished that wasn't true, it was. What she would give to go back and spend one care free night star gazing with Jacob. As she spotted the Big Dipper or as Jacob called it, the Great Bear, the front porch light flicked on disrupting the her vision of the dark atmosphere and causing her to recall the life growing inside her.

Inside her mind, her thoughts were as loud as an air horn but simple and clear. She wasn't ready for any of this. She didn't want to deal with any of it. Beyond those, she envied the bravery Jacob had. He feared her, the news must have been easy for him to swallow since all he has to do is run and never deal with this again. She on the other hand, was stuck. The thing would grow inside her and she couldn't just run away, because no matter where she went, it'd stay put inside her uterus for another seven months. Even with all her worries and negative thoughts, she was almost a hundred percent sure Jacob would never leave her. She knew she was lucky to have him.

Jacob observed Nessie's face fall forlornly and one hand rose to her temple while the other settled on her belly. It was evident that she was feeling more then she led him to believe. Her behavior puzzled him, not even ten minutes ago she sat in the car smirking about their predicament, now she had a grimace on her face. It was a scowl a person would get as if they had just learned their bank account had been drained or told they may have cancer. There was pain and fear in her expression, nevertheless Jacob questioned her tranquility.

The door creaked open, directing the teens line of vision to the sound. Billy opened the rusty hinged door to see his son, standing on the slab of concrete they called a porch and Ness a few feet away with her arms folded tight.

In his monotone, soothing voice Billy asked, " I knew I heard some rustling out there. What are you kids doing out here?"

Thankfully, Jacob answered quickly. "It's nice out, we thought we'd hang outside and talk."

"Ah, well when you're done come give me some company."

"I'll be in."

The man reversed his wheel chair while joking, "I was talking to Nessie."

Ness snickered, saying, "I'll be in Billy."

Once Billy shut the door, Renesmee nearly fell apart. Throwing her head back, she stomped and clenched her fist. "Ugh!"

Jacob sauntered closer to Ness stretching his reach around her. He tugged her closer with one arm as a friend would do. He did it knowing she, for some reason, didn't like their closeness any longer. Stepping away from him and nearer to the house, she asked, "Do we really have to do it now?"

The aching amplified within him, as she moved from his hold. All he wanted to do was comfort her, too show his courage. He couldn't let her think he was scared. However, he only nodded, instructing her that they had to tell Billy about the pregnancy immediately.

Taking a huge sigh, Ness clasped the chilled door knob and looked back to Jacob. Her eyes pleaded with him, begging, _Please don't make me do this now._

Jacob was baffled at Ness. He didn't comprehend how telling his father about their catch-22 was worse than the actual news of an unplanned teenage pregnancy. Sternly, he countered her pouting face, "We have to Ness."

Her shoulders slumped in defeat and she twisted the handle. Jacob followed her inside like a shadow. Slowly, they made their way to the couch and sat. Ness inhaled Billy's famous fish fry and wasn't sure whether the stench of his dinner would make her throw up or the nervousness about telling him.

Billy noticed they were unnervingly silent. To disturb that silence, Billy inquired, "You two disappeared from the party, where'd you go?"

"Oh yeah," Ness said scratching at her scalp, "We went to first beach. How was the rest of the party?"

"Alright. Everyone pretty much left after you guys."

Straightaway, the quietness returned. All eyed were fixed on the flat screen that Jacob bought Billy for his last birthday, but none of them really paid it much attention. The only sound was the weekend news on the television and the thoughts in their heads. Billy wondered what these two kids were concealing, Ness was thinking about the weight she would gain and Jacob was pondering how he was going to be able to support Renesmee and their child. His thoughts ran around,_ I have to find a job. Maybe, in Port Angeles or Seattle? There's more jobs in Seattle. We'd have a better chance there. I'll wait to move up there until Ness graduates. _

Billy read the kids well. Within the last month, they were giggly and annoyingly loud when placed into a room together. It became a common occurrence, so the old man took notice at the absence of interaction amid them.

"Did you two do rob a bank?" he speculated with humor.

"I wish," Ness mumbled, lowering her head.

Jacob scampered closer to Nessie's side. They were hip to hip and Ness leaned her head on Jake's shoulder. Billy witnessed his son's arm protectively shawl her small frame. He was alleviating the girl by tucking any stray hair behind her ears, rubbing her arm and patting the crown of her head.

"Nessie it'll be fine," Jake reassured.

"It's not exactly good news," she whimpered, fearing how Jacob's father would view her after this.

Taking his free hand, Jacob delicately placed to fingers under her chin easing her to look in his eyes. She refused, but the gentle touch of his hard working callous hands, made her melt. Whenever Jacob seriously had to say something, he'd force her to look at him and with a grin he'd reassure her. He'd swear she'd find a great guy one day, he promised she was smart even if she had a B minus on her midterm and he did it time and time again. He would lighten her mood and make everything better by his kind words. But _this,_ was something he couldn't make this go away.

Once she made eye contact Jacob firmly urged, "Will you stop acting like it's the end of the world?"

Yanking her chin from what she called _man hands_, she speared her words at him. "It's pretty damn close Jacob."

But he wouldn't have any of her defiance. She didn't fight him. Resistance was futile.

He captured her face and forced their eyes to meet for a second time. Sweetly, he promised, "We'll get through this, okay."

Though he spoke softly, he was hardhearted with his words. He stated it as if it was a veirifiable truth. There was no doubt in his mind that they'd make it, but Ness had her doubts. "What if we don't?" she whispered.

Then the edges of his lips curled up donating, one of his consoling closed mouth smiles. How he was able to relax her with just a grin and his tan eyes stumped her.

Resting his palm on her knee he solicited his words so casually. "We don't have much of a choice do we?"

Dipping into her pessimistic ways, she asked, "But?"

Before she could utter another word, Jacob used his domineering tone saying, "What's done is done Renesmee, so stop. We have to make it."

That shut her up.

Billy took in his son's seriousness and it was evident that the man was concerned. He ordered, "Will one of you tell me what's going on?"

"Dad…" Jacob started before turning to Renesmee for courage. Averting her eyes, she stiffened in her seat comparable to a mannequin.

"Well what is it?" Billy besought deeply worried. He already had an idea of what these kids were trying to tell him. Nearly four years ago, Paul had the same edginess when he and Rachel told him about the pregnancy of his first grandchild. If this was the news, he was only thankful Jacob had graduated. As the time in the quiet room grew longer, Ness observed Billy's face grown angrier.

Jacob didn't seem to notice. He eyed Renesmee's waiting for her consent to tell his father, he wanted to make sure she was alright with this. She felt it. She felt the hole he was burning in the side of her face with his eyes_. _Did he need encouragement? Assuming he did, she reached for his hand. Lacing her fingers with his, gave him that jolt of bravery he needed.

Finally speaking up, Jake probed, "How, how do ya feel about more grandchildren?"

Not only did Billy stare at him dumbfounded, but Ness did also. His laid back reveal stunned her. She expected the bluntness of, _Renesmee's pregnant. _Perhaps even a frightened boisterous request of,_ I got her knocked up. Don't kill me! _But he casually said, _How do you feel about more grandchildren?_ As if it were to be a happy future event.

Billy inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring and his grip tightened around the arm rests of his wheel chair. Frightened, Ness buried her face in Jacob's arm expecting a loud degrading comment. Something like, _YOU IDIOT! YOU HAD THE CHANCE AT A FREE RIDE AND YOU IMPREGNATE HER!_

However, that wasn't what she heard. Calmly and collectedly Billy questioned, "You two?"

Still waiting for him to blow up, Ness tightened her grip on Jake's hand and nodded not removing her forehead from Jake's firm shoulder.

Proudly, Jacob breathed, "Yes."

Ness frowned when she hear the smile in his voice.

The regal man took another breath, readjusted himself in his seat and groaned, "It's early, but I guess it was bound to happen between you both sooner or later."

Ness's head lifted from the safety of Jacob's arm and she repeated the words in her head. _Bound to happen? What!_

Not getting a chance to inquire Billy's words any further, the man asked, "Ness you're going to finish school right?"

"Of course."

"How far along are you?"

" Uhm," she stammered knowing the doctor was wrong about her being six weeks, so she guessed, "about eight or nine weeks."

"Wow. That's not as far along as I expected."

Feeling her abdomen, Ness deliberated if she already appeared pregnant. Did he expect her to be further along?

" What are your plans?"

Both answered simultaneously, Ness replying, "It's kinda…"

Jacob saying, "We're…"

Looking to one another, they searched for an answer in each other's face.

"There's no plans quite yet," Ness retorted, "I only found out yesterday."

" I'm gonna find work, maybe take another mechanic's job in Port Angeles."

Renesmee's head snapped so fast in his direction, that she could feel the dull pain of whiplash at the back of her neck. "You're, you're going to quit school?" she stuttered in complete shock.

"Most likely, yeah."

"But Jacob?" Nessie's chin nearly hit the floor. They hadn't spoke of any plans yet but she thought they agreed that nothing in their lives were supposed to change. Why would Jacob say something so irrational? _Why would he make plans without discussing it with me?_

Billy flipped the television off and set the remote on the arm rest of the couch while saying, "I suppose that's for the best. You guys figure out what you're going to do cuz I can't help out like I would like."

"This isn't your burden dad, we'll figure everything out."

The men nodded at one another, Ness knew she wasn't involved in this father son moment. Nonetheless, she was pulled back into the conversation.

"What do your parents think?" Billy queried.

"My mom's disappointed but for the most part she's supportive. I haven't told my dad yet…" her words faded and trailed of. Rapidly, she brought herself to her feet wanting to get out of the uncomfortable atmosphere. " I should get going if I'm gonna do that."

At her side, Jacob announced, "I'll go with you."

"No! Jake, I can do this alone."

"Ness you're not in this alone. You won't be doing anything alone, so get used to the fact that you're stuck with me, okay?"

Her heart swelled, internally she smiled and was pleased at his commitment to her. "Kay."

Pressing his hand to the small of her back, he began to guide her out the front door. "Let's go tell your dad."

Jacob and Billy did their, father son nod again.

Billy's brows furrowed, deepening the wrinkling between his eyebrows and those on his forehead while he instructed, "I'll talk to you when you get back."

"Yes chief."

Ness decided to save Jacob from trouble and beg Billy to be angry with her, not his son. She was promising that Jacob would go to school and make something of himself, because as far as she knew, Jacob and her had an agreement that life would continue as it would as if she wasn't pregnant. She wasn't sure what possessed her but she made her move.

"Can you start the car?" she asked dangling her car keys at Jake, "I have to use the restroom real quick."

"Sure," he consented taking her keys from her hand and walking out to her Volvo.

At a snails pace, she ambled her way around the back of the couch until she heard the door click shut.

Sure Jake was out of the house, Ness sat at the couch and told Billy, "I won't let Jacob quit school."

By now the television was back on and Billy didn't peal his eyes away from the screen as he retorted, "It's not really up to you Ness."

"You're gonna make him quit?" she deplored, almost wanting to cry.

Billy turned the television of and said, "No, as long as he's taking good care of you and the baby, he can do whatever the hell he wants, within reason."

"I promise I won't let him quit. He has a free ride and not many people get those."

"I'm sure he'll listen to whatever you suggest."

"Billy, I'm, I'm so sorry about this."

"Don't be," he said, raising a hand, "This is life. I raised my son right, and he will live with the repercussions of what he's done, even if that means tossing that scholarship out the window. He'll do the right thing."

Ness could see the sadness in his eyes, behind the tough man exterier and crows feet she knew he was genuinely disappointed.

"Please, don't be upset with Jacob, it, he didn't…" she paused biting at the dead skin on her lips, " it really wasn't him"

"Wasn't him? So you're the second, virgin Mary?"

Renesmee didn't reply.

"This was Jacob's doing just as much as it is yours. Plus, he loves you."

"I love him too."

"How long have you two been together?"

"We're not together, just friends."

+Back at the Cullen home+

"Hey, how ya doing?" Bella wondered as Ness and Jacob filed into the gourmet kitchen.

"I'm fine," she reciprocated rummaging through the cabinets for a snack.

Smiling Bella wiped her dishwater dampened hands of on a wrag and wrapped Jacob in a hug whilst greeting, "Hi Jake."

Whole heartedly hugging her back, Jacob said, "Hey Bella."

For the past few years Bella had become a friend, a second mother of sorts. He could confided in her when he couldn't with his father. Even on Nessie's forst day of high school he made it known to both Edward and Bella that he would always watch over their daughter, take care of her and have her best interest at heart. After he made that pledge Renesmee's parents knew Jacob saw Ness more than just a friend.

"Did I ever tell you how nice it is to have you back?"

"Only a few dozen times, sometimes I think you get a little too excited to see me," Jake grinned patting her back still cemented in Bella's hold. Bella actually missed Jacob in the weeks he was absent. Every time since his return, she'd made sure he knew how missed he was.

Ness was a witness to her mother's affection to Jacob Black. In that second, she came to the conclusion that Bella was banned from touching her Jacob.

Finally pulling apart, Bella announced, "Oh, if I was Nessie's age-"

Nessie interupted rubbing her hands down her face, "Mom, please."

Grinning, the thin women snickered at her daughter's reaction. After kissing his cheek, Bella informed, "I like you Jacob. I rather see Ness bring you home than any other boy."

Jake listened, but his mind was wandering. He wondered if Bella looked this good at thirty three, how amazing was Renesmee going to look in fifteen years? He also questioned her care free attitude towards him. Shouldn't the mother of the pregnant teenager hate the guy who did it?

"You want something to eat?" the mahogany haired women offered.

"No thanks, I'm fine."

Ness had a mouth full of cookies and opened the stanless steel fridge hunting for food.

"Did you tell him?" Bella whispered to Nessie while Jacob took a seat at the counter.

"Yeah…" she mummbled grabbing a soda.

Snatching the soda from her hand, Bella handed her a water."You had one earlier today, you need to limit your caffeine intake until the baby's born."

Groaning, Ness knew her mother's nurse experience was beneficial, but she wanted a Pepsi. Opening the fridge back up, Ness grabbed another water bottle while Bella examined, "You're going to tell your father?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No. He'll be home in a few hours so in the meantime relax."

Manuvering her way around the oversized granite center island, Ness set a bottle down infront of Jacob informing, "I gotta use the restroom."

"Didn't you just go before we left?"Jake asked, opening the plastic bottle and taking a sip of the h20.

"Oh yeah," she paused, anticipated that Jake knew of the chat she had with his father,"uh we'll I gotta go again."

Flying of to the bathroom, Jacob muttered, "She really is pregnant."

Bella pulled out the stool besides Jacob, slapped his back and acclaimed, "Congratulations. How do you feel?"

"How should I feel?" he wondered, drinking from the water bottle again.

"I know when I found out 'bout Nessie I was scared. I cried for days."

Holding tight on to the plastic water container, Jake frowned. "Ness didn't even cry. She's oddly calm. She freaked out more knowing we had to tell my dad than when she told me she was having my child."

"She didn't cry when she told me either."

"I don't think she gets the gravity of the situation. She's under this illusion that nothing's going to be different and things won't change between us."

"Do you want things to change?"

Lowering his head, Jake divulged what was in his heart, "I thought since..." In disbelief he shoke his head not believing he was telling Bella about his feelings for her daughter. He continued, " I don't know, I thought she might see me differently after we..."

" She's oblivious about her feelings towards you, otherwise she wouldn't have had sex with you or maybe I'm reading her wrong. I'm just thankful that she..."

Bella stopped herself, she shouldn't be grateful Jacob had taken her daughter's virginity but she couldn't help but be glad the baby was his and not Nahuel's or any of her previous immature boyfriends.

Concluding herself, Bella carried on, "I'm grateful for you Jacob. You bring out the best in her. She's herself around you. And I know you love her, and you'll take care of her. However, we will get a beautiful surprise out of this but your friendship with her could go two ways, ya know? I can't promise you a good outcome."

"Yeah." It bumped Jacob out to know Bella was right about that. There was a good chance that things may very well not work out between he and Ness. He feared losing her friendship more than becoming a father. No way in hell he was going to lose her. Jacob was determined, to never let that happen. He's been waiting for her and he would continue to wait.

Bella got up and tapped his hand with her clammy one. "Be patient with her."

As Bella walked over to the sink, to finishe the dishes, Jake announced,"I've been patient with her and I'll keep doing so."

"Jake!" Ness called out from the living room. Making her way to Jake's side, she placed her hand on his ribcage asking, " You wanna watch a movie?

"Sure."

Upstairs in Renesmee's room, Ness sat at the headboard, her knees pressed to her chest and she bit of her fingernails. Beneath her back was a cushion of pillows and her tennis shoes still on her feet. Lazily, Jacob lay at her side, his arms folded under his head and his feet crossed. The movie never captured his attention when she was nearby. He observed her, gnaw and bite at the fingernail on her thumb. Each loud bite, sounded like the tap at a typewriter. If Jacob even wanted to pay attention to the movie he couldn't with that annoying sound.

The room was dimly lit by a single lamp and the light of the tv flashed brightening and diming the the light. Stretching her legs out, she slumped low resting herself on the bed in a similiar fashion to a patient on a hospital bed. Her eyes were stuck on Jacob's sock covered feet. _How could he be so calm? How am I so calm? _The one thing that bothered her the most, was that she was not scared. Yes, gaining weight scared her, physically giving birth freaked her out and losing her free time pissed her off but having Jacob's baby in no way instilled fright.

_S_he needed a plan to get out of this bind thought. Abortion crossed her mind again and asking her aunt Rosalie if she wanted to adopt her child. It would be as if this never happened. She knew Jacob had to go to school, no she didn't want him to leave but it was for the best. To keep her sanity, they needed to act as if this pregnancy hadn't happened.

Jacob didn't like the defening with movie's dialogue, it felt quiet. It disturbed him.

Rolling over on his stomach, Jake tucked a pillow between his folded arms and his chin. "Sam told me they named their baby Leah."

Rolling her eyes, Ness grunted, "I know, what would possess them to do that?"

"Maybe it was them saying sorry to Leah?"

"Let's not talk about Leah."

Absolutely curious he asked, "Why not?"

"You might not like the things I have to say about her."

Jacob thought he saw and heard a hint of jealousy. Smirking he said, "You don't like her, do you?"

"Of course I don't. She used you."

Jacob adjusted himself on his side so his view of Ness was perfect and proped his head up with his hand. "No she didn't, we really liked eachother. If all that became of our relationship was me helping her get over Sam, then I don't regret it. I don't regret anything with Leah."

"You had sex with my aunt Leah," she snarled.

"It didn't mean anything. As soon as it happened we knew there was nothing between us."

Scornfully, she investigated,"Why do you sleep with girls you don't love?"

"Nessie," he said drawing his hand to her stomach.

Swatting his hand away, she snapped at him. "Don't."

She didn't like how intimate he was being with her. Touching is what got them into trouble in the first place. Only, he was acting no different than before they found out about her pregnancy. She was being spiteful.

From down stairs Bella shouted, "Renesmee! Jacob! You better get down here!"

Jumping up from the softeness of her bed Ness gut sank as she made her way to the television a pushed the power button off.

"My dad's home. We better get down stairs," she suggested watching Jacob put his shoes back on, "I shouldn't give him a reason to be angry before I tell him about the little blessing and he shoots us."

Jacob followed her and stopped her midway down the wooden staircase.

"Stop acting so morbid," he stated, gripping her shoulder, "And come here."

She complied and turned around, looking up at him. He was on one a stair above her, making his heighth a good two feet above her.

" I do love you," he stated hugging her. Her arms wrapped around his firm waist and she pressed her cheek to his sternum.

At the moment, the words he spoke meant nothing to her. She knew he loved her like a baby sister. If he loved her so much, they would be dating, if he loved her so much he would have taken her to prom, if he loved her he wouldn't have caved and took her virginity away. _Why did I have sex with him? _

Realizing that she was no longer a virgin. In a tumolt, she pushed Jacob away, leaving him pained. Why wouldn't he let him touch her? Her knees practically gave out obligating her to sit on the staircase. "I promised him I'd stay a virgin until I was married," she whispered more to herself than to the guy at her side.

Jake knew of this pact between Renesmee and her father but it wasn't on his mind when Ness was straddling his lap, her dress riding up and her eagerly begging for sex. Honestly, he saw their agreement as unrealistic.

Sitting on the steps behind her, he attempted to console her without any intimante contact. "Well, you were twelve then."

Nessie's hands covered her face and she laid her forehead ontop of her knees. Her muffled voice could barely be heard as she moaned, "Once we tell him, he'll know we were naked, in a bed. He'll know I laid on my back and spread my legs like a whore."

Rubbing circles into her back, Jake continued to console her the best he could. "Shh, shh, shh. You're not a whore."

The front door slammed shut, startling both teenagers.

Looking to Jake over her shoulders, she whispered, "I don't want him disappointed in me."

IN a hushed voice, he responded, "Ness, come on. You didn't kill someone, you got pregnant. Your dad, of all people, should understand since he knocked your mom up at sixteen."

Jacob helped Ness to her feet while she said, "I think he'd be more accepting than my mother. I thought she'd… her view point about this entire thing was, well not what I expected."

"If she's alright with this, then your dad should be no problem."

Stepping down the stairs in unison, Ness shrugged. "I hope so, but my mom says he's unpredictable. If anything I thought my mom would freak and my dad would be empathetic."

"I guess we'll find out."

* * *

**Author's note**: Oi! Sorry I got a bit lazy at the end but I hope you guys can see the emotions are playing out here. Ness is still being ignorant and Jacob, he's freaking out. This chapter's quote is focused around Jacob. Ness has only seen Jake's bravery since the moment she told him until they needed to tell Billy, she didn't see his fear. Inside he's freaking out, he's mildly happy but he's scared to death. The only one that knows how frightened Jacob is, is Jacob. He's being courageous for Nessie's sake. Heck, even Ness was being brave by facing Billy. One thing Jake doesn't know, is she's not scared. Disappointed yes, angry, yes but for some reason she isn't scared. It could be her immaturity or the fact that she knows Jacob's at her side. But either way, it doesn't make sense that she's not afraid in anyway, besides gaining weight.

To let you know, I've notice throughout this story the chapter's are decent sized, as this one. So yay! Most likely they'll continuously be this length. The next chapter will be extra- long since they spill the beans to Edward. Review and you will be sent a preview of that pivotal moment in Renesmee's life. Will Eddy be alright with the news as he was when he heard of Bella's pregnancy or will he go to the extremes as to crush Ness's perfect little world? Stay tuned!

*Also there's a poll up, should it be a boy or girl people? Name suggestions are welcomed also. Another fun thing would be if ya'll sent me links of what you think Nessie's room looks like or anything else for that matter. If I find the perfect one I'll put the link up courtesy of (YOUR NAME) Remember she has a wrought iron bed, the footboard looks like prison bars. I think if ya'll are bored it'd be fun for you.

**Thanks to**: denica, theavidreader4life, Sarah, Indianfeather1994, tatiana talissa, missbeach, pattyheartcake, nfanpepsi, TJ1999, luv2beloved, gh0stwriter, Twi-tard, MortalWomen4, Tashay789, Lettuce., dkgors and ever those anonymus readers for all your reviews, you support and I expect to see about twenty review before I update. I'm so mean. Hee hee. Oh Last Sunrise/Gravity is coming along alright. I know I've been saying that forever but I promise, I'll update soon. After I update I'm gonna start revising the whole thing and smooth the rough edges and typos out. HAPPY READING! =)


	16. Final Decision

"_If you're gonna screw up, do it while you're young. The older you get, the harder it is to bounce back."_

**Chapter SIXTEEN – Final Decision-**

Renesmee strolled through the pitch black living room with Jacob tailing her, to closely for her liking. Certainly, she didn't desire his palm to delicately be placed on the small of her back, guiding her through the dark but it was an uplifting contact. The physical gesture gave her the reassurance, that Jacob was one hundred percent in this with her. Twisting her arm around, she gripped Jacob's wrist, obliging his hand to stay in place, holding down that sense of security. Through the thin fabric of Nessie's shirt, he could identify the dimples of her back and the clasp of her tiny hand locking down his touch sparked an impetuous reaction from him.

Before stepping into the kitchen, Jacob acted on his emotions, lifting his free hand binding it to Nessie's rib cage like a magnet. The touch directly under her breast caused her stomach muscles to tighten and her breath to temporarily leave her lungs. Quickly, she released his wrist that was in her clutch. Instead of backing off like she assumed, Jacob's arms twined around her like a vine, gently ramming her shoulder blades to his firm chest. He hugged her tightly from behind, the tip of his nose brushed her neck before he whispered into her ear, " It' ll be fine."

Proceeding his simple pep talk, or what seemed to be more of a one liner, Jacob failed to free her from his embrace. He only squeezed her tighter when he pressed his lips to her neck. Blindly, her head fell backwards resting on his clavicle allowing Jacob the exposure to the hollow behind her ear. He kept her bound to him, journeying his kisses up her neck, leaving a moist trail of fire. Ness blinked, trying to focus on standing upright and not on the radiating heat from the body behind her.

The kitchen light streamed out across the reclaimed hardwood, her parent's silhouettes dancing across floorboards. The moment she saw her parent's shadows, she became aware of the action taking place and just how close Jacob really was to her.

She knew, the conception of this act was based on Jacob's ethics. In Renesmee's viewpoint, the guy was pursuing something he didn't truly want. He would give into his moral upbringing and suffer through a fake relationship, for his child's sake. He made that clear at his niece's birthday party earlier today. In spite of this, Ness didn't want him to compromise, she wanted him to be entirely happy with the choices he made in his life. And being in a relationship with her wouldn't make him elated in any way, shape, or form. It would merely hold him back from the goals he had in life_. This baby was holding him back from having a successful life, from making Billy proud.. _With that thought, Renesmee again considered abortion or adoption. Those were the only choices she had to make, to guarantee that Jacob would press on with college. Keeping it, would keep Jake away from his dreams.

Whichever she decided, she'd need her father's permission, because that's how her life functioned. Edward always made the final decision.

With great frustration, Ness quickly stepped out of Jake's embrace grumbling, "Let go." Stomping away, she thought, _He's so stupid! He needs to leave, go to school!_

Jacob knew he shouldn't have acted fervidly, but he couldn't help himself. All he longed to do was take her in his arms and hold her there until the day he died. However, her nasty attitude came and bit at him, more than he would like. Why was she so hot and cold all the time? One second she's fond of him the next she was biting his head off. Was it that hard for her to keep a stable, preferable upbeat, attitude? At times, like currently, he couldn't comprehend how his love for this girl ran so deep. It really was a question he could never answer. Pushing that to the backburner of his brain, he followed Renesmee towards the kitchen.

Coming to the white washed archway, Ness paused to find her parents tightly embracing one another, lip to lip. Bella's arms were draped around Edward's shoulders limply but securely like a scarf. The thin framework of his body towered over her mother, his hands settled on her hipbones. They stood in the middle of the cottage revival designed kitchen, seeming to have forgotten about the world around them. It was a wonder how they only conceived one child. Although, it sickened Ness to see them making out, she was thankful they still loved one another. She even thought it kind of cute and could not wait to have what they had one day. To find her that soul mate, who would become her best friend, the father of her children and together, they'd grow old, having long conversations about life, about religion and their children, they'd always be poking fun at one another, making love and even arguing. Ness didn't mind a debate here and there. She knew she'd find a way to win. But overall, she couldn't wait to find her true love, an eternal love.

Rolling her eyes, Ness stepped deeper into the kitchen slurring, "Eww."

Pulling back, Edward amiably gaped at Bella smiling. "Bella you're doing it again."

"What?" she asked, staring back at her husband, cocking her head, curiously.

He kissed her one last time before taking his hands from her hipbones, saying, "You're embarrassing your daughter."

Bella tilted her head playfully and pulled Edward by the collar of his dress shirt and passionately kissed him again. Smirking she said, "She can get over it."

Uncomfortably, Jake lingered at the entry of the kitchen, with Edward here Jake was not sure he was welcomed. Plus, the sight of two adults making out was weird but if only Renesmee knew that his thoughts matched her own. It was nice to see after all these years they were still in love.

He desired a love like that, where ten years into his marriage he still found his wife attractive and even after their looks have faded he'd still prefer her company over anyone else. He couldn't wait for marriage and a family. He was determined to have the whole package; the white picket fence, the modest house, a cheerful loving wife poking around the garden, and kids running and playing in the sprinklers on a hot summer day. He'd play with them until it was time for him to barbeque dinner. They'd eat dinner and desert and take them outside for an evening of star gazing, just like he's done countless times with Ness. His kids would adore their mother, his beautiful wife, almost as much as he did. Jacob could feel it, taste it. This reality was nearly in his grasp. He had the mother, the child and if she wanted to stop at one then so be it. Now, all he needed was to make Nessie his wife and buy the house and he'd completed his life's goal. At times the severity of his thoughts scared him.

Bella's voice interrupted any fantasy he had, when she noticed him and said hello, while Edward rotated, reciting with no emotion, "Jacob."

Jake replied just as vacantly, "Mr. and Mrs. Cullen."

Ness leaned her elbows on the black granite, interested in her two favorite men's dynamic. She couldn't figure out the relationship between her best friend and father. Edward would always make snide remarks if Jacob was brought up in conversation or if she misbehaved he'd threaten to keep her best friend away. However, he never followed through, she'd never could tell if he was joking and in person, Jacob and Edward had some unspoken understanding with one another. She was positive her best friend wasn't hated but she was never sure if he was actually liked by her father

Acting as if there was not a care in the world, Ness orbited the center island like the Earth around the Sun. Edward met her half way and Ness crashed into her father like a meteor.

"Hi my love."

Pressing her nose to his chest, she could smell the scent of latex gloves and a disinfectant. It reminded her of the Forks Hospital, it scared and comforted her in ways. "Hi daddy. You worked late?"

"Yes, grandpa wanted to take grandma on date night before he had to come into work."

"Did you at least have a good day?"

Jacob and Bella observed Ness be quite the little deceiver. Her unwariness made no sense to either parties.

"Not until I got home from work," Edward replied, laying a kiss to the top of his daughter's head, "How was your Saturday?"

"Unproductive."

Edward smirked. "Any time you spend with Jacob is unproductive."

"I know," she said pulling away rolling her eyes in a fun loving way, " it's reproductive."

"What?"

Mentally slapping her forehead she thought_, What the hell did I say that for?_ Her mouth hung agape until she muttered, "Uhm?"

Edward prodded further, "It's reproductive?"

Bella interceded, gently tugging his forearm, persuading his direction towards the living room. " Edward, let's go sit in the living room."

Stalking past his wife, he huffed. Bella curled her index finger at Jake and Ness ordering, "You two also. Come on."

Edward stiffly came to the sleek gray couch. It was modern with clean lines and the industrialized coffee table separated the parents from the children on the adjacent matching couch. The rigid man eyed both teens, irked at how closely they sat alongside one another. Already, he had an idea as to what the news might be. She said their time was occupied reproductively, as in procreative, procreate as in to breed. Edward knew he was being presumptuous but now he had an actual reason to dislike Jacob. Edward thought_, It couldn't be him, he's a good kid and Renesmee doesn't love him. _

Seeing his daughter's distress, Edward became seething inside, ready to tear out the throat of whom ever ruined his daughter. He was not an idiot, and one talent Edward had was reading his daughter. Staying on the positive side, he retained the hope that it was something as mild as she failing an honors class, crashing her car or even losing her job. However, that didn't explain Jacob's presence. He's probably just here for moral support, Ed thought.

While waiting for Bella to join them, each one felt the tense awkwardness. Especially, Renesmee she didn't know how to inform her father about her predicament. If her father gave her the green light to have the abortion, she'd have one pronto. However, she knew how against it he was. He knew the side effects, he knew the problems it could cause with future fertility and her emotions would be haywire. Nessie sat shoulder to shoulder at Jacob's side, with her head bowed, hoping he would handle everything for her. She was used to having people handle her problems.

With two cups of coffee in her hands, Bella walked in and handed a large steaming mug over to her husband.  
"_They_ have something important to tell you, you need to listen and let them speak," she commanded as she moved a decorative pillow out of her way. Inside Edward's head he bellowed, _They!_

Bella's eyes were light with concern. After taking a sip at her mug, she urged her daughter, _"_Go ahead Renesmee."

"Daddy, I'm…" One peek at her father's hard face and she faltered.

Wringing her hands, Ness averted her eyes and struggled to edify her situation. How was she going to tell her father that she went against his wishes and gave her virginity away before marriage?

Taking notice to her hesitation, Jacob leaned over, whispering into Ness's ear, "You'll be fine. I promise we'll make it…together."

It was a strain for the young man to not consulate her physically. He was almost sure Edward would overdramatize this news, why make matters worse by laying a finger on Dr. Edward Cullen's daughter.

When Ness had yet to spill the news, Jake whispered again to her," Tell him."

Like a mouse cornered by a cat, Renesmee cowered actually seeking out comfort from Jacob. She wrapped her arms around his bicep and pressed her nose into the rock firmness just like she did at his house.

"You gonna tell him?" he asked peering down at her.

She brought her head up from his arm and gazed through her eyelashes and into his caring caramel eyes. "Can you?"

Jake leaned down lying his forehead against hers, and after a huge sigh he turned to Nessie's parents, informing, "She's having a baby."

Waiting, the teens were surprised that Edward hadn't reacted.

Slowly, Edward collected a coaster and set his cup on the coffee table and shot to his feet shouting, "You got my daughter pregnant!"

Taking offense to his assumption, Ness mirrored his action. Standing, she retracted, "Just cuz he's sitting here with me doesn't mean it's his!"

Bella took a hold of Edward's shirt preventing him from jumping across the coffee table and attacking Jacob Black. Straightening out his stance, with his finger pointed at Jacob and his eyes on his daughter, Edward only growled through his teeth when he spoke."Renesmee, he's been eyeing you since we moved here. He did this on purpose! He's moving away, he wanted to put claim on you and he's done it."

Ness rested her hands on her hips nearly salivating in anger. _How could he accuse Jacob of such things?_

"Oh dad, please," she spat completely pissed and in Jacob's defense, " he didn't befriend me when I was thirteen to impregnate me."

Pulling harder at his shirt, Bella attempted to get her husband to sit. He didn't though. Heaving a sigh, Bella rolled her eyes in the exact fashion her daughter did. "Edward for once you're way off. Will you just sit?"

Edward looked at his wife over his shoulder not dropping the finger pointed at Jacob. "You know that's what he wanted, to trap our daughter," he assumed.

Jacob and Bella simultaneously responded, "Are you kidding?"

"Well if not that, he wanted to take her innocence."

Bella raised a thin brow, astonished at his allegations. Jacob was harmless, yes he got their daughter pregnant but he loves her deeply. Bella couldn't be angry at him for that, no more then she could be angry at Edward for showing his love back in their high school days.

"Oh? Is that what you did?"

Even if it was furthest from the truth, Edward gave no answer for his wife.

"If that was ever his intention, it would have happened a long time ago."

Turning his attention back on his daughter, he demanded, "How can you be so stupid!"

Ness sank back down into the couch folding her arms taut and angrily scoffing, "If all he wanted was sex, I'm sure he would have brought a condom."

Flabbergasted at the schoolgirl's acerbic comeback, Jacob crossly instructed, "Renesmee, now's not the time to be sarcastic."

Relaxing a bit from Jacob's words, she bowed her head, ashamed. Jacob was right, she was in no position to that snap at her father. Muttering beneath her breath she said, "Well if your intentions were sex you would have brought a condom to prevent this."

Jacob couldn't understand where she got off giving her father lip. He hoped that maybe she was beginning to grow into her own, becoming responsible and mature but that wasn't true. It was evident that she hadn't matured even the least bit in the last month like he assumed, or better yet, like he hoped. In that instant, Jacob lost all hope for her, for his future picture perfect family and he even questioned if the child was his.

Bella backed Jacob's suggestion up.

"Renesmee, Jacob's right, don't be a smart ass," Bella looked to Edward, "Now is the time to be understanding, show some compassion."

The news didn't settle well with him, he was rocking back and forth on the heels of his feet giving a death glare to Jacob. Jacob stared back, accepting that Renesmee's father official hated him.

Not taking his eyes from Jacob, he asked his wife a criminating question. "How can I be understanding, when he planned this? "

"Edward, he would never do anything to harm Renesmee."

"We've had this talk since you were ten, you promised me you wouldn't…" he paused running his hand through his light chestnut colored hair admitting to himself, "Rosalie was right."

Nessie frowned. _What was aunt Rose right about? _Her head scrambled for an answer. Yesterday, Bella told her that Rosalie believed the rumors about her, that she needed birth control. Wanted to deny the rumors and protect her reputation Edward's firm face broke. His straight lips curved down and in his eyes, there was more than hurt but disappointment. That was the only thing Ness hated, she hated to disappoint the people she loved.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he examined, surprisingly composed.

Lower than a whisper, she answered, "We weren't."

Her father's firmness returned in his speech. "Clearly, are you sure it's even his?"

"Yes dad."

It had to have been ten minutes of silence, Ness was sure of it. If she knew what to say she'd break the deafening silence. The her father's next words cut through the air, just as it cut through her heart.

"You're having an abortion."

"Edward!" Bella shouted.

Not sure if she was grateful or shocked, Nessie's clenched at Jacob's arm to her left. Her breath hitched and her head rotated to Jacob. "Did he just say that?"

Jake clenched his fist, sick to his stomach and full of pure adrenaline. Almost snarling like a dog, he queried with disgust, "How could you ask her to do that?"

Offering the same amount of repulsion, Edward replied, "I'm talking to my daughter."

Firmly, Bella said, "Edward, don't be irrational,, and don't talk down to them as if they were children."

"They are children!" Edward looked back to his knocked up daughter and the horny teenage boy. Without looking at his wife he shooed Bella by waving his hand at her behind him. " Now Bella, let me speak with our daughter."

Knowing touching Jacob would piss her dad off, Nessie wrapped her arm around Jacob's. "Did you ask mom to get rid of me?" she wondered out loud.

"No, I didn't but that was different."

"I don't see how."

Jacob added, "Me either."

Completely ignoring Jake, Edward continued, "I'm not watching you let your future be ruined because of this ass' selfishness."

No matter how much she wanted to agree and to put blame on Jacob, she knew this was entirely her fault. She forced him into it, she begged and cried until he gave in, only because she knew he would. She answered honestly, "Selfish? He had nothing to do with it."

Edward's eye's widened, almost with the hint that the baby not being Jacob's was a letdown. "So the baby's not his?"

"No it is but he had nothing to do with it."

"If that was the case, you wouldn't be in this mess. After all I do for you, the least you could do is be successful, make me proud."

"And having an abortion will make you proud of me!" she exclaimed. Ness didn't know why she was angry she wanted an abortion, she wanted her dad to be okay with it.

With the most concern, Edward swore, "Renesmee, it's for the best."

Ness eyed Jacob, unsure. "Jake, maybe he's right? Everything could go back to normal if..."

Cutting her off, he asked, "Is that what _you_ want?"

"I-I…I think so?"

Both Ness and Jacob heard Bella mumbling to herself and Edward said, "I'm glad you see it my way."

Jacob brought his hand to his arm and lowered it over Nessie's. "Think, Ness. Is this really how _you_ want to handle this?"

He emphasized _you_, and Ness didn't understand what Jacob was doing with his eyes. The light brown orbs pierced through her, pleading begging for her to make the right decision for her, not for her father.

"What do _you_ want to do?" Jake repeated, putting great stress on the word you again. She pulled her hand away from his but took in his words. _What do I want to do? _

For once, she was going to make the final decision, not her parents. Mommy wouldn't suggest anything and daddy wouldn't push her into a decision like always. This was all on her.

Ness was always taught, abortion was wrong and she thought it over the night before and throughout the day. And each time she thought it over, her father's opinion made an appearance. Edward, being a doctor and a religious man, gave her the low down on sex, birth and gave her the scientific and religious explanation as to why abortion is wrong. She recalled her father say, " Human life must be respected and protected from conception." He taught her that scientifically, from the very point of conception, the instant a woman's egg is fertilized, you have been blessed with a life_. How could he go back on what he taught her? _Somehow, she didn't care how hypocritical her father was, once his words had merit.

She didn't want this baby but to be rid of it like it never happened wasn't something she wanted to put on her conscious_. Could I possible dispose of something that is half Jacob's_? Staring at Jacob, she contemplated to herself. _He or she could have his beautiful eyes, or his lips. They may have his thick hair and amazing smile and his easy going, light hearted spirit_. Yes, Ness thought about abortion, but she knew it was wrong in God's eyes, in her own eyes. It was wrong in every sense, she wanted to do right and embrace the gift of life. After all, many women, like her aunt Rosalie weren't able to conceive. With all that, Jacob's way with children and his reassurance made up her mind. At least if she went forward with this, she wasn't in it alone. She had Jacob. Watching him with his niece and nephew put things in perspective for her. He'd be a great father, loving and playful but stern if he had to be and he'd never leave her side.

"I'm not getting rid of it," she stated not once taking her eyes from Jacob. And he smiled. Jacob had every intention as standing by her. He didn't want her to have an abortion, he starved for this baby, it was half Nessie and their child could be a stepping stone to Renesmee's heart. However, that wasn't his true reason to keep the baby but merely an incentive. No matter, he loved his son or daughter, he would love it because it was his flesh and blood and this baby sprouted from one magnificent night he spent with his best friend.

Like a hand cuff, Edward's clammy hand grasped Nessie's wrist and with great force Edward yanked her to her feet with him. His grip hurt her, it scared her. The action was an ambush of sorts, she did not expect her father to react physically. He had never before. "Like hell you aren't! You're having an abortion and that's final!"

"Edward!" Bella shouted, dropping her mug while coming to her feet and Edward bumped the coffee table knocking his coffee over, staining her mother's cream carpet. She ran over placing her arms between her daughter and husband. "Edward let go of her."

Jake stood up. "Fuck you man! She's made up her mind."

"Sit down kid."

Standing his ground, Jacob shouted, "NO! I've been letting you treat me like shit since day one, the only time you've ever treated me decent was when I'm keeping tabs on the guys she's dated or keeping an eye on her for you." He took a step closer, laying his hands on Renesmee's shoulders. She needed his comforting touch.

"You did one hell of a job allowing her to sleep around with each guy she dates and you told me she-"

As her father ridiculed her, Ness tried to get out of her father's hold but he wouldn't let her go. Sandwiched between two angry men, was hurting her ears and her dad unknowingly gripped her wrist tighter as he argued with Jacob.

"Edward, that's not true," Bella said on the floor already, cleaning the spilt coffee from the coffee table and rug.

Edward gazed over his daughters head at the idiot who impregnated his daughter. "You told me yourself, Jacob."

Halting at attempting to jerk free of her father's firm grip, she was shocked at what she just heard. He told her dad, that she slept around. "Wait!" she exclaimed, " You told him I slept around?"

"I was wrong," he apologized moving to Nessie's side. Then he told Edward, " she was s virgin until i…" His words trailed off and Jacob's eyes connected with Nessie's belly.

Edward released Ness and turned to Jake. _"_When did this happen?" he asked. Fearful for Jacob, Ness stepped between her father and her best friend.

"Prom," Jake answered.

"When I called you, you said she left prom without Nahuel. Did she really go to her aunt Rosalie's?"

Ness looked up at her father, jeering, "Don't ask him, ask me!"

"Shut up," Edward growled and asked Jacob more questions. "Was she at her aunt and uncle's?"

"No. She stayed at the hotel with me."

Ness saw the rage, before a thing happened she took hold of her father's shoulders, reassuring, "Daddy, I'll take care of this baby, I swear. I'll be a good mom I'll love it, I do love it."

"Just because you love your child, doesn't mean you'll be a good parent. You're too damn ignorant and immature to have a baby. You're getting rid of it."

_that's what daddy really thinks of me._

"No, she's not," Jake defended, " I've watched you control her life and this time, her final decision is up to her, not you!"

Edward grabbed arm, declaring, "She's having an abortion, and she's never seeing you again."

"I swear if you force her to do that, I'll-" The boy had no words, he hated seeing Edward treat Ness so carelessly and despised that he encouraged her to abort their child.

"Jake! Stop!" she shouted pushing him back. Stumbling Jacob found his footing and was prepared to try and hit Edward again.

" Jacob!" Bella bellowed.

Ness grabbed ahold of his cheeks. " Jacob! Look at me. JACOB!"

The boys ragged breathing slowed, he felt her tiny smooth hands with his own. Her touch calmed him as much as his touch soothed her. He kiss her forehead and breathed,"Sorry, Ness."

"Get out of my house!" Edward snarled.

"Not unless Ness says."

Bella rubbed Jake's back. "Jacob, maybe it would be best."

Renesmee gave him a nod, directing him to go wait in her car.

However, Jacob was scared he didn't want to leave her alone with her lunatic of a father. "Nessie," he pleaded.

"Go, I'll meet you out there."

Just as Ness handed her car keys over, her father articulated harshly, "Leave those keys here."

Jacob, rarely one to go against an order or his elder, tossed the set on the coffee table and began walking out when Ed ordered, "Now get the hell out."

When the front door slammed shut. Ness finally got a word in. "I don't see what the big deal is, you and mom were in high school when you had me, at least Jacob's graduated."

Edward replied brushing his fingers through his hair, "Our circumstances were different."

"How?"

"Renesmee, we were in a relationship, we loved one another, deeply. We had our wedding date picked out."

"At sixteen?"

"Yes, and we already planned for you."

"At sixteen you planned for me? That's responsible and all, but you still got pregnant in high school."

"We took every possible precaution, that's responsible enough."

Bella chimed in more relaxed than ever. "We got you sooner than we planned . God has plans for you too."

"And you think, God plans for me to abort this baby?"

Her father annoyingly spoke again. "Renesmee I swear you'll thank me later."

"When? When I eventually do get married, and have my first born? I have to look at that baby's face knowing it's not my first child. I'll think back to how my hypocritical father forced me to get rid of my first true child, even though he has..." she trailed off. Nothing mattered, it didn't matter what he did or how two faced her dad was, this was her decision. " I don't care what you say, I'm giving birth to this baby."

Rubbing his face and his hand through his hair once again, he sat. Bella on her hands and knees scrubbed at the carpet. "I'm sorry Bella."

"It's fine but you and Jacob need to learn to get ahold of your temper."

Edward nodded and turned back to Nessie commanding, "Get out of my house."

All to quickly, Bella bounced up. She knew now Edward apologized not for the mess but for throwing their own daughter out of their house. "EDWARD NO!"

"What?" Ness asked, with her mouth so far open you swear flies would fly an at any moment.

"If you want to fuck up your life, you do it under someone else's roof."

Standing tall, Ness swore he's never been so tall, so frightening, so indecipherable. Her father and she used to be on the same page about most everything, laughing at the same jokes, taking the same interests, like history and modern medicine. Together, they'd poke fun at her mother's clumsiness and he was always the one standing up for her when her mother freaked out over the littlest of things. This man, this enraged man parading around in her father's body ordering abortions and using physical force against her, was not her father.

Surprising Ness again, Bella swore. "Edward I won't allow this."

Walking from the living room, Edward didn't turn back when he slurred, "Bella this isn't up for discussion. I want her out."

Renesmee's parents left the room, their conversation echoing down the hallways.

"This isn't going to help her, you know? She needs us."

"She has him!"

"They're kids."

Ness followed them, up the stairs and to the threshold of the master bedroom where the austere exchange about their daughter continued.

"A few minutes ago, you asked me to not speak to them like they were children and now you say they're kids."

"Edward, Nessie's got a year of high school left and Jacob's going to school, they'll need our help."

" We made it just fine."

"My father didn't kick me out of the house, and your parents supported us."

"It's time she learned to grow up anyways. Maybe this will do it."

"Yes, she does need to grow up but, it's our fault. We spoiled her, we even manipulated her, she's never once asked for a thing. Now she has a sense of false entitlement and invincibility and she blames everyone but herself and guess what? That's our fault. "

"I guess we better fix that then."

Ness pressed her back to the wall and sank to the floor, while intently hanging on their words. She brought her knees to her chest and listened to her parents true thoughts about her. To them, she was a spoiled little brat that they manipluated and rewarded when they did what was asked of her.

"Kicking her out won't do a damn thing, something like this was bound to happen and I rather it be one beautiful mistake, rather than her being addicted to drugs or joining some cult. For once, she's making her own decisions Edward. She's listened to us more than we thought. She won't go against us, you know she won't. Not unless she deeply believes in something. I've never been more proud of her than right now."

"The one time, the one time we put full trust in her, she gets pregnant. She's too ignorant and immature to have a child."

"People make mistakes Edward. They're in love, they couldn't help themselves, just like us. Please go tell them to come back in. We'll go have dinner and talk about this."

"Bella, I can not support this. Renesmee isn't in love with that kid."

"His name is Jacob, and whether they're in love or not, they're having a baby. You can't be a hypocritcal bigot."

"I'm not a hypocrite, bigot maybe but-"

"Teaching her abortion is wrong her entire life, then forcing her to get one is a bit hypocritical. Being angry at her because she got pregnant at seventeen is hypocritical because we got pregnant at sixteen. Hell she's older than I was when I had her."

After a moment of silence, Bella questioned, "It's because it's Jacob isn't it?"

"No."

"Bullshit. I see how hard you are on him. Jacob gives her freedom, he allows her to be her. I don't know how he does it, but she's herself with him, she's mature when he's around. You see it, I see, everyone sees it. He's good for her. This could be a good thing."

"Bad seed."

" He's a good kid and you know it!"

"I thought so too. He was supposed to take care of her, watch over, I trusted him to do that, that was our understanding. I put full faith in him to do that, not to defile and corrupt her."

"She's not corrupt. It takes two, Edward. And you know he would never do a thing to harm her, he'd give her the world just like you did for me."

"You forget the hell I put you through?"

"Edward, he isn't you."

"What if he-"

"He'll never leave her."

"He'll have to. He has to go to school."

Ness nodded and agreed. _He has to go to school. _

"Give me those keys."

Ness fumbled to a stance, when she could hear her mother's foot steps nearing her.

Bella softly clicked the door closed and turned to find her daughter standing there. "Ness? You heard all that?"

" A majority, okay all of it. When should I be out?"

Handing the keys to her daughter, Bella wrapped her in a firm hug saying, "Let me talk to your dad some more-"

Ambling her way to her bedroom, Ness collected some things in a duffel while she denied her mother's help. "No, mom. I don't need anyone but myself, my baby and Jacob, if he wants to stick around."

"He will but where do you plan to go?"

"I'll find somewhere," Ness grunted flying down the stairwell.

Bella chased after her, informing that Ness give Edward the night to cool off and that she should stay at her grandparents for the night.

"Why so daddy can keep tabs on me there too? I'm not going to Emmett's or Alice's either. I'll be fine. I'm not as immature and naive as you too think."

"Where are you goin to go?"

"I'm not sure."

"Ness I want to know."

"So do I," she muttered as she shut the front door, to the place she once called home.

* * *

**Author's Note: **ONE LONG ASS CHAPTER! GEEZ! This chapter was inteneded to be longer too. Some of your previews you recieved don't match up. Sorry. To let ya know, I kinda lost interest at the end of this chapter but really how much detail could I give of her over hearing her parents conversation and leaving. We'll get more emotions from what about what happened in the next chapter. Because, you know how something happens and you don't have time to think about it til after the fact and you regret not saying or acting differently? Does that make sense? We'll that's how Jacob and ness will be in the next chapter. More insight on their thoughts, I swear. I hope you liked and I apologize for the delay. The loss of all the info on my usb flashdrive thingy really threw me off, on everything. However, I hope you liked and to inform you, I have probably the next twenty chapter's of dialogue all written up. So for your info this story is going no where, it'll continue until Ness finds peace with everything. Remember, reviewers get a preview to the next chapter. Longer ones get long previews, shorter ones get short previews. Give and take? Happy reading. Oh and this chapter's quote was the best I could find to sum up the chapter. It;s pretty self explanatory. If you have any good quotes send 'em my way, maybe I cold find a chapter they would suit. =)

**Special thanks to**: Nothinlikjazzzy, reginakttykt, StormyRoth6594, Kristin, MidnightLila, Mrs. Jacob Black 14, Yui94,nmcgirl893  
, Damon heart, partystarter3, denica, Lettuce., Musical Pinapple, dkgors, tatianatalissa, sarah, Augustfirst, Tashay789 (When you updating Fatal Attraction?) Nfanpepsi, luv2beloved, Naomi, Tay'..Lullaby., gh0stwriter, Emma01, SophieHadfield, and as always Pattyheartcake. for all your support. I love you guys. Again I am so sorry for the delay, I didn't realize this many people enjoyed my story. Keep reading and leaving me reviews. Also, go to my polls and vote on whether you want a baby girl or boy.

P.S. if I never sent you a preview, if you reviewed let me know.

-3H


	17. Sorta

"_Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be."_

**Chapter SEVENTEEN - Sorta-**

The stars that hung in the sky, were bright specks. The moon higher and outside, Jacob could feel the crisp summer breeze brush against his face as he paced the porch anxiously. All that had happened was unbelievable. He was going to be a father, to a beautiful son or daughter. The mother none other, than the love of his life. However, he was frightened and Edward's harsh treatmnt towards Ness pissed him off. So much so that he actually attempted to slug the grandfather of his child. The father-to-be knew it was rash behavior to say the things he said but he didn't regret a word and it was too late for him to take his actions back. He didn't worry to much about this because he had other, more importrant, things on his mind, such as the major question of whether or not he would be able protect and provide for his growing family? Working at the shop helped pay the utilities and various bills but with a baby added to that, it was going to be difficult because the pay wasn't exactly the best. He needed to formulate how he could find a stable job with consistent pay. Moving to a larger town with more opportunity appeared to be the best solution. Maybe a garage with commission, or a construction job.

He has to provide support not just financially but also emotionally. Ness would need his help, he knew she'd be undergoing dramatic emotional shifts, and he has to be ready for her to lean on him. Jacob, now, was most definite that school wasn't an option.

Eventually, Jacob removed himself from the porch and settled onto the hood of Nessie's Volvo, tenser than ever. His legs were crossed and he ran a hand through his hair repeatedly until he pressed both hands into his jean pockets. A low rumble came from his stomach, exhibiting his hunger.

Today had been a long tiring day for him, now it was nine o'clock and he hadn't eaten a thing in six hours. He wanted a good meal and a decent nights sleep so badly, but he thought it more necessary to figure out how he was going to be able to afford a baby, as well as continuing to help his dad out with bills.

Jake's head snapped up and he came to his feet he heard the front door click shut. Any thoughts he had vanished when he saw the wounded expression on his loves face. As always, she was his number one priority.

Renesmee stepped onto the front porch. In utter shock from what her father had just done she walked forward. The wood slats beneath her soles creaked. Her hand cuffed her sore wrist, realizing how her father had just manhandled her. It was completely abnormal, the entire day was some nightmare that Nessie wasn't waking from. Edward abased her with cruel words and kicked her out of her home, for her making the same mistake he did. It made absolutely no sense why he reacted negatively. Sure, Ness expected him to disapprove but she also expected his support because without it, she wasn't sure it was possible to have this baby. Again, she thought adoption may be the best choice for her baby.

Ambling her way off the porch and closer to Jacob, Ness dropped her duffel full of clothes and allowed it to drag in the dirt behind her until she was standing across from the tall boy. Needing a hug, she released the strap of the bag and raised her arms to embrace him. Knowing she had made such a big deal about physical contact, she pulled back. Ness cautiously shuffled and bit her fingernails.

"Can I have a hug?" she asked.

"Come here." Jake gave the weakest smile and his arms swallowed her frame and his palms slithered down her shoulder blades.

Hugging him was like taking a nap in the sunshine on a warm spring day. You lay there in a hypnotic state and you become oblivious to your surrounding because for that brief amount of time all is right in the world. The warmth of his arms always gave her the heavenly sensation that almost made her forget all the things that had gone horribly wrong. It was just him and her, against the world and as far as Renesmee was concerned, that was fine because all she needed was him. There was comfort knowing they had each other, until he went to school. Ness clenched his shirt tight with the realization that once he went off to school, she wouldn't have him this. She couldn't lean on him, talk to him or just hang out with. He'd be a state away and that was to far.

If she didn't have him here, in Forks, she had no one. she knew he needed an education, he needed to better himself but she wanted him with her and she wasn't willing to move to Oregon to be with him. Perhaps, him giving up his scholarship to stay in La Push, wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. However, she swore to Billy she'd have him go to school. Jacob had only one goal in life, that Ness knew of, and that was he wanted to make his father proud and their baby was ruining that. So, how was she going to keep Jacob with her and do that without him disappointing his Billy? Yet again, her mind wandered to adoption.

When she felt him rub his cheek against her crown and a hand press into her hair. He started to massage her scalp and pressed a kiss to her head. She felt his embrace and contact was getting to deep. To put sepertion between them, she took a few steps back and picked up her bag.

"Lets go," she stated.

"Where we going?" he asked catching the keys Ness tossed at him.

Shrugging, she said, "I don't care."

The ride was silent and for once it was not comfortable. Jake repetitively glanced at Ness and she knew this, his gaze bore into the side of her head. Though, she didn't say a word she had not a clue as to what could be said. She screwed up his life for one night of premarital sex. _I'm so stupid,_ Nessie thought. There were things she would have done differently. At first, she was okay with doing the deed with Jacob but if she could turn back time she would have NEVER had sex with him. On top of that she would have defended herself and Jacob better against her dad. All that aside, she needed a plan to make everything alright again.

Jacob drove slower than usual since he had no clue where he was driving to and the eerie quietness reminded him of death. By the expression of Renesmee's face, he knew she was scheming something in her mind.

Worried, he kept a firm grip on the wheel and lifted his left hand from the steering wheel to pat Nessie's knee. "Renesmee, what's the matter? What happened?"

She brushed his hand away, responding, "We had sex, that's what happened."

"Ness-" he started.

She turned to him, exaggerating. "Jacob, let's go, let's run away."

Jacob removed his sight from the road to eye her quickly in shock and returned his vision to the asphalt. "Together?"

"No separately," she rolled her eyes, crossing her arms and legs, "Of course together, your dad won't see you toss you're life away on this baby and we never have to see my family EV-ER again."

Jacob shook his head. "Ness you don't want to do that."

"Yes, I do," she itemized her reasons staring out the front windshield, " My dad had you spy on me, Rose told everyone I'm a slut, and you," she paused. She had a few choice words picked out but it wasn't in her to say things that would hurt him, especially not after today. He had taken the unfortunate news justly but remained calm. He even spilled the news to their parents when she was to chicken shit to do so.

Lightly, her words spilled out. "I don't know if I can trust you anymore. I have to go and if you want to come with me fine but either way, I am going. I'm getting the hell outta here."

Jacob pulled over on onto a tiny patch of dirt on the side of the road and placed the car in park. Ness did her best to ignore him by studying a car driving towards them, in her mind she guessed the make and model. As it came nearer, it's brights blinded her, forcing her to look over at Jacob who had his shoulders angled at her and his brows were knitted tightly together. Hastily, she turned away from his probing eyes and looked into the rearview mirror watching the car float further away, over the tiny hills and curves of the road.

"Why are you acting this way?" He asked.

Unable to look at him, she gawked out the passenger side window, forcing herself to concentrate on anything but the man sitting next to her. However, she couldn't focus on anything except him, their child and the entire situation at hand. He was stuck in her head, as always. And now with a baby, he'd probably remain in the crevices of her complicated little mind forever.

Leaning her head back into the headrest, she sighed, taking both of her hands and cradling her nonexistent belly. "My entire family thinks what the school thinks, and what you thought. _Renesmee's a slut_ and now, this is proof of something that isn't true, that was never true. I can't let anyone see me this way." Finally she looked at him with a pleading stare. She shook her head. "I just can't Jacob."

He felt her shame radiate into his body. He didn't want her to feel ashamed and although running away seemed relevant, it wouldn't solve a thing, it would only take his child further away from his family, from her family.

"Running away isn't going to solve anything. And I know you, you won't keep that baby away from your family and I won't do that to my dad. He deserves to meet his grandchild," then he added, "You have to finish school."

She stayed quiet, after his comment. As did he. Both lost in thought. _He's always right_, she pondered and he wanted to know what lead her to such extreme measures.

" What did your parents say?"

Answering short, she huffed, "Can you just drive?"

"Tell me," he commanded clasping her hand, taking it from her abdomen, " It has to be something pretty awful if you're willing to run away."

"I'm just talking, I don't plan on running away," she responded truthfully, wanting to pull her hand from his.

"What happened?" he examined rubbing her hand between both his thick hands.

The intimacy caused her to finally pull away. He needed to stop thinking this type of contact was okay.

"My dad kicked me out."

Jacob went tense, straightening his posture. "I don't- I don't know what to say."

"I do," she stated, backhanding him in the arm, "What the hell is wrong with you! I can't believe you relayed information about me to my dad. Telling him I slept around."

"Nessie, I…I was wrong to do it."

"You talked to him on prom night, what did you say? _I fucked your daughter_ _and took her virginity."_

"He called the next morning asking if Nahuel treated you well. I'm sorry," he apologized with the greatest sincerity, " I'll never do something like that again. I swear."

"I was pissed at first…" she retorted in vast amounts of irritation, but she wasn't as angry as she thought. It was her father she was upset with. The man that surprised her with toys after he came home from school, that kissed her tears away after she fell and scrapped her knee. He helped her with homewrok, taught her how to play piano and he had always been there if Jacob wasn't. He was always there when Jacob was available also, but he only trusted her enough to get information from her best friend. Her dad never trusted her and that hurt just as much as him denying his granchild.

"…but I don't really think I care. I thought me and my dad had a better relationship than that."

"I've only been doing it so he would like me."

"What does it matter?" She shrugged looking over at the time. It read nine twenty eight.

"I told you before, I want your family to like me. I need their approval."

"Approval?"

"Especially now."

"I think you ruined any chance at approval from my father when you swung at him."

"I lost my chance the second I stepped into that hotel room." After another awkeard silence her continued, " I wish you wouldn't have stopped me from knocking him out. He deserves it you know."

"Yeah but my dad's ego would never recover if you hit him."

Again, they fell into a discomfited silence and Jacob hated it. Just because she was having his child didn't mean things had to become uncomfortable between them. Not knowing what to say to ease the tension, he stayed quiet, but was unable to overlook his grumbling stomach.

"I'm starved."

Immediately, Ness asked, "Do you think I'm ignorant?"

"No. Sometimes you don't use the common sense God gave you though."

Rubbing her forehead, she threw another question at him. "Do you think I'm immature?"

"Why are you asking me these questions?"

"My dad said I'm ignorant and to immature to have a baby. Do you agree with him?"

Not wanting to answer, Jacob bypassed her question with his own comment. "Renesmee, let's get some food. I'm hungry."

" Don't avoid the question!" she exclaimed, " Jacob be honest, do you think I can be a good mother?"

He exhaled an exaggerated sigh. "I know you can be, but you're not ready for it."

"You think my dad's right?"

"Sorta."

"Sorta?" she cracked. Now she was pissed. " You think I can't do this either?"

"Ness you can, but sometimes you are gullible, pretentious and selfish. Which are all immature qualities to have."

"Then I should just have an abortion. We could go back to our lives, act like this never happened. It'll make my dad happy, I'll be able to live at home and you could go school guilt free."

He stared at her dumbfounded, with his mouth agape and his eyes wide. Jacob thought they came to a clear decision. Her choice to keep their baby caused a major fight with her father not thirty minutes ago.

"You think I should have an abortion, so I'll have one," she said.

"No, damn it! Don't put words in my mouth that's not even remotely close to what I said. Yes sometimes you can be immature and ignorant with things but your growing up, that's a part of life." He rubbed her arm trying to pacify her, with a soft eyes and a calm voice. "You'll mature, sometimes it just takes people longer to grow up than others."

She about had it with him. He was always big brother Jacob, tip toeing around her so her feelings wouldn't get hurt. Why couldn't he be honest?

Once he gave her a comforting smirk, she snapped. "I'm not a child Jacob! I can take the blunt truth. AND don't treat me like your kid sister, that pisses me off!"

" Do you see what I mean about your immaturity? Was that outburst necessary?"

"Shove it Jacob."

He was officially peeved with her immaturity. "Real fucking mature Ness, this is exactly why your dad says you're to immature to have a kid. You have these adolescent outbursts that only a twelve year old would have. You never think before you speak or throw yourself into something stupid."

"You're one to talk, you had sex with me and you tried to clobber my dad!"

"I apologized for that. I lost my head and it was stupid!"

"It was STUPID!" she shouted. Suddenly, something in her caused her to feel guilty for reacting so horribly. She didn't want to fight with him, it was the worst thing in the world to her and he wasn't the enemy here.

Calming her tone, she murmured, "I don't want to fight Jacob. My dad wasn't supposed to react the way he did, and I'm pissed, so I'm taking it out on you. I'm sorry."

This was another reason Jacob loved her. Occasionally she'd step away from immaturity, and reassess a situation.

"You're a good person Ness, but naïve sometimes and people take advantage of that. I think you're dad thinks, 'if you were naive enought to get pregnant you probably couldn't handle having a baby.' He probably thinks I took advantage of you. I know you say I didn't but still, I feel I did."

"You didn't Jake," she reassured, "I'm not as naïve as everyone thinks. I wanted you and I did what I had to do to get what I wanted. A naïve little girl wouldn't have acted as I did."

" You can still be horny and naïve at once."

She giggled. "It's hard not to throw yourself at a guy that says the sweetest things."

" Again that's you being naïve, believing what any guy tells you."

She scowled. "So everything you said that night was a lie?"

"No. I'm saying…" he looked for the right words, "How else do you explain all your exes? Why do you think each ex swooped in and swooned you the second you were single? It's because you were being naïve and fall for any guy that shows the tiniest interest in you. They take advantage of your gullibility and your vulnerability. Mainly they swarmed around you because some bullshit rumor. You need to start thinking about the decisions you make- "

"Jacob I don't need a lecture, I need to find a place to stay."

"You can stay at my place."

She didn't argue. Tonight, she really didn't have a choice.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**WHAAAAAT? Did I just update? Why yes, yes I did. Sorry I meant to post last week but it wouldn't let me, it kept saying ERROR. Anyways, I'm not sure about this chapter, it seems like senseless babbling doesn't it? But notice Ness is regreting her decision to sleep with Jake. : ( I wonder what's going to happen next? The quote stated the obvious and this chapter was meant to be longer but I decided to get something up since I hadn't updated in so long. The next chapter, Jake and Ness will talk about their actual plans, finally. It's only getting better. Now remember, if you review you get a preview to the nexy chapter... Questions, comments etc...Again sorry it took forever to update.

**THANKS TO: **OrchidI007711, samarazz, Trish0324, DG86, Cvanessa, , Psych94, Sarah, Hanner Nanner, endlesslove1202, Tatianatalissa, Dazler916, , mami-hai, keyks554, dkgors, AugustFirst, gh0stwriter, nfanpepsi, Tashay789, JUSTaDAMNbook, luv2beloved. Thanks for your reviews and support.


	18. Epitome of Altruism

_Be careful in dealing with a man who cares nothing for comfort or promotion, but is simply determined to do what he believes to be right. He is a dangerous uncomfortable enemy, because his body, which you can always conquer, gives you little purchase upon his soul. _

**Chapter EIGHTEEN -Epitome of Altruism-**

Before stepping into his tiny red house, Jacob took ahold of Nessie's arm. She jolted back. She turned to scold him but before she got a word it, he handed over her weighty duffel bag, stating, "Go straight to my room, I have to talk to my dad."

"Planned on it," she agreed, taking the pack and placing the strap over her shoulder.

Ness didn't know how she would be able to face Billy. When she expressed her intentions with his son, he looked at her like she just shot his son in the skull. As if her wanting to remain friends with the father of her child was the absolute vilest thing to do. The fact of that matter was, that she had a friendship to maintain with Jacob and she wouldn't allow a damn thing to ruin it. Not an idiot boyfriend, not her stubbornness and especially not this baby. He would always remain her friend, but so far this kid was spoiling everything in her life.

Ignoring the churning in her gut from the panic she felt, Ness shadowed in after Jacob. The home had the fusty odor that she not only enjoyed but found it strangely soothing.

The sound of the door shutting startle a half sleeping Billy. His hands reached for the remote. Clicking the television off, he turned his chair and greeted his son.

"Hey…" Billy's words trailed off when he made eye contact with Renesemee. She froze, the tips of her lips to curve the slightest at him, but no one would call her expression a smile. How could she, when his demeanor towards her still felt indifferent.

"…you two," the old man finished.

"Hey," Jake replied.

Sinking back behind Jake's tall frame, Ness hid. This entire ordeal made her queasy but she swore she was about to barf from Billy's expression alone. Looking over his shoulder, Jacob's blindly twisted to his back, reaching out and delicately clasping the girl's wrist. He eased her further into the room, directing her to stand directly in front of him. After giving an encouraging smirk, his hand settled atop her shoulders. Her nervousness settled the slightest but the need to vomit remained present.

Hi," Ness cautiously replied with her head lowered. Billy nodded with a familiar false smile.

"_Go to my room," _Jake whispered into her ear before lying a kiss, to her jaw.

Promptly, she bolted to the bedroom, closed the door and collapsed on Jacob's bed, head down. Quickly, she rolled over remembering that inside her belly, a child grew. Both hands flew to her navel and she prayed that she did not harm Jacob's child.

Jacob's stomach grumbled, and being the man he was, he obeyed what it was telling him. He sauntered into the undersized kitchen. His father wheeling at heels.

"What happened?" Billy questioned as Jake pulled a sheet from the roll of paper towels.

Dragging his hand across his forehead, Jake held his palm there until he summonsed the courage to ask, "I know this is all sudden but can Ness move here?"

"Jacob, I don't think so."

"Dad she got kicked out," he pleaded.

"Look, I'm sorry son. I don't fully support this whole thing to begin with, but what choice do I have but to accept it?"

Rummaging through the refrigerator, he pulled out all the necessities to make a sandwich.

With his back to his father, Jacob pulled bread from a draw sternly saying,"She needs somewhere to go."

"She can stay tonight."

Frustrated, Jacob slathered mustard on his bread, querying, "What if she needs a more permanent home?"

Billy stayed quiet. Remembering that earlier that night, Ness claimed to only be friends with Jacob. She swore she didn't love him and professed that not only did not want a relationship with Jacob, but that they never could have a relationship. He could not allow his son to be led on by her sleeping in the same bed as his son.

" I don't think I'll be okay with you two living under the same roof, unwed at that."

Pivoting to face his father, Jacob frowned. With the mayonnaise covered butter knife firmly gripped in his hand the boy whined, "Dad she needs me. She needs somewhere to go."

"Charlie'll take her in."

Turning back to his meal, Jacob finished building his sandwich. As he put the sandwich supplies away, he pondered his father's deposition. As simple as the idea sounded, Jake knew it was a horrible idea. Since Sue married Nessie's grandfather, her children Seth and Leah moved in. And from what Jacob understood, Ness hated Leah.

"Uh, her and Leah don't exactly get along," the boy stated pulling a soda can from the fridge that was decades old.

" She'll be fine son, she has her family."

"That's all she's ever had," Jake retorted grabbing a soda from the fridge and popping the cap open, "and that's been taken away from her. She doesn't feel she can trust them at the moment, she doesn't even trust me right now."

"Why's that?" he wondered.

Jacob and his father had always had an open relationship, a friendly relationship. He could joke around with his dad as if Billy were his buddy but both men knew their places as father and son. Sometimes Ness envied it. Sure her and her father _had_ a close relationship but she would keep truths compressed and hidden, whereas Jacob was honest to a fault with Billy. Even if the story made him look like a tool he was still completely honest. And the tale he was telling his father made him look like an obsessive boy with a high school crush. He explained how he kept tabs on Ness for Edward, how they spoke after prom, how he lied about his prom activities and how he unknowingly feed Dr. Cullen lies about his daughter. Illuminating the situation further, Jacob told him of this nights happenings and told him Renesmee was not only kicked out but treated atrociously by her father upon the news of their mistake.

Oddly enough, Billy bypassed his comments on the love making, about her homelessness and Edward's behavior. His response to all this was, "You spied on her?"

"Yeah, I did," Jake shamefully admitted, " All she wants is privacy, that's something she's never gotten and here she can get it, and I swore I'd never pry like that again."

"I know you love her and you know I love her, but you both aren't together. How can I be okay with her moving in, when she doesn't see you guys as more than friends?"

"She's pregnant with your grandchild!" Jake shouted, "Isn't that enough of a reason? And us just being friends…"

Jacob hated to think this, but for now, them remaining friends was true, and he took what he could get.

"…well isn't that a good thing?"

"Not necessarily. Your child's going to live from house to house."

Taking a bite of his sandwich, Jake spoke with the food rolling around inside his mouth, "That's why she can stay here with us. At least until I can afford to move out."

"No Jacob."

Plopping his sandwich back on the paper towel, Jake irately enlightened his father on the lose plans Renesmee made. "You're lucky we didn't run away, she wanted to run away but I told her no, my father deserves to meet his grandchild."

Inside his heart, Billy felt something. Was he proud of the man Jacob was becoming? Him taking on this responsibility so firmly was something to be ompressed with. Or perhaps he was honored that his son would dismiss any plans he had, only so he would be able to meet his grandchild. In that moment, Billy was sure he had raised his son right.

Calmly staring at the cheese and ham on wheat, Jake said, " I need her at arm's length dad, I don't want to be far from her."

"Well then how's school going to work out or working?"

Not knowing, the boy sipped from a soda can and took another bite of his meal, while listening to his dad and blankly staring at anything besides his father disapproving eyes.

"The point is Jacob, you two need to figure out what your plans are before I allow her to live here."

"We're going to do that. Either way, whether I go to school, which is unlikely, or work or if we become a couple or, or if we stay just friends, I'm the father of that child and I'm all she has at the moment."

Crumbling up his napkin, Jake tossed it in the trashcan that was hidden under the kitchen sink. Billy looked on, knowing his son had so much more to say.

"The one person she depended on for support, the man that she counted on, kicked her out. And last I heard she and her mother don't have a very good relationship."

"That'll change Jacob. When your sisters were born, your mother and grandmother became best friends. Ness has her mother."

"You're probably right," he replied downing the remaining liquid in the aluminum can. Placing it on the outdated counter top, Jake sighed. He wondered why Billy was being so difficult?

Stalking into the living room, and starting down the hall, Jake impulsively muttered, " Ness and I will be staying at Oceanside Resort."

Instantly, his father responded, "No son, stay put. Once you two get things sorted, perhaps I'll think about Ness moving in."

"Thanks dad. I have to make some calls."

"Hold it. Sit," he ordered. Jacob knew his dad meant business when he wanted him to sit. So he made his way to the blue velvety couch and sank into the cushion. It was really much too big for the space but Billy and Jake took what they could get, even if it was a free hammy down from Charlie.

"You understand how disappointed I am in you?" Billy said as he wheeled himself around to the coffee table, settling across from the youngin,"That child will have his life divided in two, because his parents were irresponsible. He'll never know that happiness of his parents being together, living together, loving one another."

At that Jacob strongly disagreed. He and Ness did love one another, why did no one understand that? Sure she wasn't wild and passionately in love him, the way he was with her, but there was love. The strongest kind of love, love that was built on top of friendship and trust. A trust he now understood he broke. Clenching his fist with irritation, Jake could feel his fingers go numb and see them become a creamy hue. No matter, he listened to his father's lecture.

"Maybe it would be different if you and Nessie had a relationship," Billy proceeded, "but you don't. She doesn't see you, the way you see her."

Internally, Jake asked_, Why don't you just stab me with a knife dad? I'm sure that would feel better than the words you just spoke._

"It'll be difficult because you hardly graduated two months ago, and she's only a senior. I hope you wouldn't be like you're mother and I who jumped into marriage. Don't get me wrong, I loved your mother more than anything and I would marry her again, but maybe if we were wiser, we would have waited, went to school, saved up. Money was a major issue in our marriage and it affected you kids. I don't want to see that happen to my grandchildren. Rach and Becca scared the hell outta me when they married so young, but they found men with stable jobs, who could support their families and your child deserves security."

"I know dad."

" Everything would have been a hundred times simpler if you had gone to college then had a kid."

Jacob repeated himself, "I know dad. We made a mistake but I love that mistake. And I am going to do everything I can to keep us together, as a family. I'm figuring out how I'll be able to afford everything. I think after she graduates we'll move up to Seattle."

"Son, she wants you to go to school. I want you to go to school."

"I'm not," he stated, shaking his head, "I can't."

"It may be best," he replied. Knowing that school could be his ticket to a better life, it would opn opportunities to his child. Oppurtunities Billy couldn't give Jake. The older gentlemen decided he'd make a proposition, one that worked in favor of not only him and Jacob, but Renesmee too.

"If you decide to go to school, she can stay here. Otherwise you need to find a job and move out."

Jake stood, answering, "Yes, chief."

Billy figured distance between the teens would not be the end of the world, he secretly hoped that with Jacob's absence, Ness would not only mature but grow fonder of his son and finally love Jake in return.

Jacob pulled a cell from his jean pocket and started to dial as he walked over to the front door.

"Jacob?" Billy called, catching his sons attention. He turned to look at his father who was wheeling towards the hallway.

"That kid didn't ask for any of this, you and Renesmee better learn to think as adults, as parents. You have to put someone before yourself."

Jake scoffed, if anyone knew about being selfless it was him. A majority of his tiny paycheck went to his father's medical bills and a bulk of his emotional strength was reserved for Renesmee. He was the epitome of altruism.

"Dad, I've always put someone else before me."

"I know son, but she needs to learn to put that baby before herself."

Dumbfounded, the teenage father watched his dad roll down the hallway and into his bedroom. It was clear, everyone knew Ness as selfish and immature. Not having time to worry about such things, he stepped out the front door to make a call to his boss.

Ness comfortably was strewn across the small mattress like she was Cleopatra herself. Lying on her side, she slid her hand under and nuzzled at the one pillow Jacob had. The musky scent to that clung to the fibers was heaven to her. Despite the the bullshit, she blissfully sniffed Jacob's fragrance, until her phone rang, again. Grabbing it from her duffel, Ness rolled onto her back and intuitively rubbed small circles into her nonexistent pregnant belly.

After her mother's fourth attempt to call, Ness decided to answer. If she did so she knew her mom would stop calling.

"What?" she rudely answered.

"Ness, come home," she replied. The comfort of her voice had disappeared, it was a raspier, more tired version of her mother's voice. Ness wondered if she had been crying or yelling?

"I don't want to," she answered fluffing the pillow under her head.

"Please Renesmee, I don't like the idea of you being on your own just yet."

Nessed removed her sneakers of as she replied, "I can take care of myself."

"I don't doubt that but you're having a baby, you shouldn't be stressing over anything."

"I would stress whether or not I live at home."

Her comment rang true. No matter what, she'd be uncomfortable. Here Billy already appeared to hold disdain for her and at home, her father would ignore her. He always did so when upset with her.

"What did daddy say?" Ness demanded more than requested. She figured if Edward asked her to come back home, she would. Otherwise, she would prove him words untrue. No matter how honest his and handle this situation on her own.

"He hasn't said much. I tried talking to him he locked himself away in the den." And by talk, she meant she yelled at him until she lost her voice.

"Why would I go back home after what he said? You both clearly think little of me, and he doesn't want me there."

"Ness you need us, I want to help you."

Releasing a sarcastic chortled, she said, "You couldn't spoke up for me tonight, that woulda helped, instead, you let daddy call the shots as always."

"I know," Bella confessed. Edward always said how it was, but usually his decisions were in the best interests of his family. "Your dad has this thing about him, he's controlling because he wants the best for us, but come on home, he'll learn to cope."

"I won't go home to be ignored," she stated gazing up at a cresent moon through dusty blinds and a dirty window,"Daddy shouldn't have been so mean to me."

"I know, I told him he was wrong to treat you so cruely, this is so unlike him."

Not wanting to drag out the conversation, Ness sat up and retorted, "Well I'm going to go, I'm tired."

"Where are you staying?"

"I'm at Jake's for the night," she informed folding a legs, criss crossed.

"Alright. Perhaps after tonight you should go to grandpa's or-"

Cutting her mother off, she reciprocated "No mom."

"Not grandpa Carlisle's, grandpa Charlie's."

"No mom."

"Ness don't burden Billy."

"I'm won't, I'm only here for the night. Night mom."

Jake walked in when her mother said, "Call me tomorrow honey."

Silently, he closed his door, expecting to talk ever detail of their plans tonight.

"I guess. Bye."

"I love you bye."

Tentatively, he strolled closer to her, the floor boards creaked. Declining against his want to sit next to her on the bed and embrace her, he settled on the floor. They deeply gaped at one another for lengthened amount of time, not uttering a word. Staring up at her, he took in her beauty and she admired his handsomeness, but most of all he praised her braveness.

Wanting to console her, he reached out his hand, almost as if he wanted a hand shake. Reluctantly, she slid her velvety hand in his and held it.

Squeezing her hand taut, he reassured, "Ness, we'll get through this."

"Your dad hates me," she recounted tugging her hand from his. She flung her body back and laid down. "My dad hates me," she murmured.

Wanting to put her mind at rest, he replied while moving his head left to right, "No one hates you."

"Yes they do, I fucked up big time. I disappointed my father, and Billy hates me cuz I took away the one chance you had at a better life."

"My dad doesn't hate you."

"Did you see the way he looked at me when I walked in? I heard him say something about me. Gaaaah-SH! I really messed up, like always."

Ignoring the fact that Ness may get pissed he stretched his hand out and grazed Nessie's belly. "You didn't make this baby by yourself, we both have consequences."

"Don't touch me," she said rolling over, her back facing him.

Bruised Jacob sat up. "It's getting late, let's get some sleep."

The hinges of his door moaned, forcing Ness to sit up and wondered, "Aren't you going to stay in here with me?"

"Sure," he countered, pulling the knob back closer to him, "do you want me to?"

"Yes."

Complying with her, he pulled out a sleeping bag from the corner of his room and laid it out. He was positive she didn't want to be stuck in his tiny bed with him.

Groggily, he removed his boots then his shirt. Ness pulled her legs to her chest, turning her vision away. In all seriousness, she couldn't help but see his body in a different light. Since prom night, it just didn't look the same. It made no sense as to why it took her so long to notice his body was at a godlike level. Secretly, she watched him slide his jeans off exposing a black pair of boxer briefs. Her heart rate spead up. He collected his shirt and jeans, oblivious to her absent minded gazing. Folding them, he turned to place his attire on the a tallboy dresser. Her eyes scanned the arching of his back, as he bent over and peeled the socks from his feet. Realizing she was gawking at him, she covered her eyes.

Getting up she searched through her duffel to gather her pyjamas. She scurried to the corner, only to recognize that from the floor Jacob had a perect view of her.

He was settled into the sleeping bag, his arms were folded behind his head and he wore an arrogant smirk. She knew that smirk, he was going to tease and joke with her, until her mood had been lightened.

Cocking her head, she "Can you not look?"

Raising an eyebrow he affirmed, "You know,I've seen you naked."

"Jake?" she whined.

"Alright, alright."

When she was sure he wasn't looking, she removed her clothes.

While putting on a pair of flannel shorts he notified, "As long as you pull your own weight, I'm sure my dad will be fine with you moving in."

Hurriedly, she put her tank on and stood over him. "Did you ask if I could move in?"

"Yeah-" he said gazing up at her. From this angle he could see the pooch froming at her abdomen.

"Why would you do that?" she complianed tossing her clothes ontop of her bag.

"Where else are you gonna go?"

She stepped over him, to reach the bed. "I'm gonna get an apartment, I'm gonna prove my dad wrong. I can be mature and independent and smart. I am smart."

"Renesmee, how do you plan to do that?" he questioned, sitting up, "You're seventeen and you have to have money for that. You need a deposit."

"A deposit?" she frowned, naively confused.

" A security deposit, that's first and last month's rent."

"How much do you think that'd be?"

"Depends on where you live, anywhere from five hundred to a thousand."

"I'll just have to drain my savings. Plus, I have a job."

"No, Nessie. We just need to figure out what's going on with us then we'll deal with your living situation."

"Jake, I'm tired," she declared handing Jake the only pillow in the room, "let's talk about this tomorrow."

He collected it and placed the cushion under his head. "I work tomorrow."

"On a Sunday?"

"Yeah, I called Mr. O'neil to see if there was extra work."

"You can't work tomorrow."

"I don't have a choice. I have to work."

Ness submerged herself into the downy comfort of Jacob black's bed. The quietness hung in the air of the room. Maybe Jake was tired, but her thoughts hadn't settled. Everything about their situation was desultory. It should not be tha way, they needed to confirm plans for their future.

"You're still going to your football orientation right?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Jacob!" she exclaimed, " You're supposed to leave on Monday."

"Ness I'm not going to school."

Furiously she replied, "You're things are already packed, you already shipped half your stuff-"

"I'm not going," he stated firm, "Now, you said you're tired and didn't want to talk about anything right now, so go to bed."

"Jacob, please-" she pleaded.

"Shut up Ness."

His tone made her snap her mouth shut but for some reason she couldn't let go. They needed to figure something out by the morning.

Rolling over she peered down at him saying, "You can't just drop everything in your life because of this. It's only three or four days, right? Before you make any major decision go and see what it's like, think about everything."

His eyes were closed. "We both have a lot to think about."

"I would really like you to go to school Jake."

"I'm not discussing it anymore Renesmee, I'm not going and that's final."

That night she didn't bother him with conversation, it wouldn't do any good. Jacob was mostly set in his decisions, no matter the uncomfortableness of a situation. If Ness could change one thing about Jacob it was his ethics. If he lacked just a little moral, he would go to school, because it was his only chance at advancement. He was constantly doing the right thing, not the smart thing.

His decision didn't really matter, because two days later, Jacob set off for Oregon. Again, he did what he had to do, to please the love of his life.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm not sure about this chapter or the last but I believe these were scenes that shouldn't be passed up. They really do seem boring and I apologize, I also think it's why I had a lack of reviews. I'm used to 10-15 but last chapter was about seven, it made me sad. : ( But any who, those of you that review know you get a preview to the next chapter. So read and review, the preview will be sent to you a.s.a.p. Uhm... as for character development am I doing alright? Are their personalities suitable? Are the working? Suggestions welcomed always. Oh and notice everyone sees Jacob's intentions with Ness, besides her. She doesn't realize that what they have is love, not friendship. She will spend a few more chapters being oblivious to his love for her. In about 3-5 chapters from this one, Jake will come clean about everything, his lies and emotions. Oh I can't wait! So if I get a good amount of reviews from here on out, I will post sooner, every 3-4 days. This I promise you because great ffeed back gets me excited to update.

**Special thanks to**: panajoia, luv2beloved, tatianatalissa, beautiful monsters, patty(heart)cake, carolinblack18, gh0stwriter, TeamConrade11, sarah, dkgors, Tashay789 and EriantheThysia. You're support means the world to me, it really the only reason I continue to write this story. Love you guys.


	19. Fake Hesitation

**A/N**: Alright, I know certain chapters are going to seem boring, (like the last two) BUT everything I am writing is fundamental to this story. I've said this before and I'll say it again, pay attention, I've been dropping subtle things that'll cause later drama. Remember when Jake was Edward's little spy? Well Ness is going to hang that over his head for some time and that is only one example. Okay…GET TO READIN' I hope you enjoy.

* * *

"_Again & again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made."_

**Chapter NINETEEN - Fake Hesitation-**

(10 weeks & 6 days pregnant)

Out back, on the screened porch, Ness pulled a load of laundry from the dryer. She thought it unusual that the washer and dryer were outside, but then again the size of Jacob's house was unfamiliar to the well-off teenage girl. Something clicked in Nessie's head in the last week at Jacob's. She didn't mind the way Jacob and Billy lived but, it made her realize how lucky she was to have a financially stable home life. No, it hadn't always been that way but it was such a problem when she was younger. It astonished Ness that the Black men lived life so gleefully, with so little. The girl noticed, Billy spent a majority of his time calling bill collectors and driving himself to a new job as a R.V. campground manager. She didn't think he should work in his condition, but she found out he could stand and walk for only short amounts of time. Speaking of Billy, Ness wondered where he was. Since finding out about her pregnancy, she convinced Mr. Peter Bankwell, the physical therapist she worked for, to allow her to work full time until school started. Her shift ended at the office ended a five and Billy should be home by five thirty. She was actually beginning to get upset, the frozen pizza she baked for supper was starting to get cold.

A low rumble of thunder, caught Nessie's attention. She turned watching the line of droplets drip from the roof. Summer rain started thudding down harder on the ground, releasing the scent of wet earth. Ness went back to the laundry, sighing. Thunder storms reminded Ness of Jake, but she did her best to ignore the fact that he was in another state.

In the last five days since Jacob had left for orientation, she and her mom reconciled but she had no intention to return home until her father apologized. The fact that her dad had been snubbing her didn't sting as she assumed it would, for she was still angry with him.

A few days ago her mother took her out to lunch, suggesting Ness speak with her father but she refused to speak about how wronged she felt by Edward. It made her wonder how her mother was getting along with Edward, but any question she asked Bella shut down. That being the case, Bella changed the subject to her pregnancy, which was another sore topic. She pretty much kept quiet while her mom blabbed about things such as she needing to eat protein and take walks to keep a healthy heart rate. Ness didn't understand what she was speaking about, but she decided that if it was good for her baby, then she should abide by her mom's suggestions. The one thing that baffled Ness were the words, "In all honesty Renesmee, you look like you put on some weight over the summer, not nearly three months along."

That comment didn't settle. Ness knew that in the least week, she had gained weight, she felt huge and she couldn't believe she was almost three months along. Something that felt even stranger was that fact that she was looking forward to her first official appointment. At her last visit to the doctor, she didn't expect to find out she was having a kid. She was so shocked that when they gave her an unwanted vaginal ultrasound, she didn't remember if there was a printout, or if she could hear the heart beat. All she thought was how Jacob would take the news. At least this time, she knew she had Jacob's support.

The annoying chirp of Nessie's phone rang loud from her pocket. Expecting the call she answered, "Hello?"

"Is this Ren- Ren-eh? Uhm? how do you say your name?"

"Renesmee," she recited, rolling her eyes as she transferred a load of laundry from the washer to the dryer.

"Ah, is this Renesmee Cullen?"

Letting out a small titter, she replied, "Yeah, what do you want?"

"What are you doing?" Jake wondered.

"Washing a load of laundry," she informed pressing the cell between her ear and shoulder.

While she picked up the load she had removed from the dryer she notified, " Ya know, you guys should think of investing in a few more towels."

"I'll tell my dad that but it has only been us, we never felt the need for more than five towels."

"I guess it doesn't matter," she retorted opening the screen door and making her way to couch in the living room, "I'll be out in September."

At that Jacob's stomach pulsed in nervousness. He knew she spoke to him about this yesterday but even if she turned eighteen in September, he didn't believe she should move out on her own. Pregnant at that.

"About that Ness, maybe you should stay with me. I mean it is-"

"Jacob, I already told you I'm not doing that."

" Well I'm gonna go eat something then tomorrow, I have to meet with the coach and dean about budgeting or something but I'll be home tomorrow afternoon and when I get home, we have some serious talking to do."

"Sure, sure," she smirked folding the mixture of towels and her clothes.

"I'll see you when I get home. Don't forget to pick me up."

"I won't."

+ The Following Afternoon +

Outside the Port Angeles airport, Ness impatiently waited. Through a low chain link fence, she waited for the arrival of her best friend. Once a plane touchdown, she could see people file out of the aircraft. Then she spotted a tall bulky figure that could be no one other than, her Jake. Unconsciously, she smiled as she jogged up to Jacob exclaiming, "Hi!"

He dropped the large brightly colored paper bag to his side and welcomed the embrace she gave him. A small number of people around them greeted their loved ones but, most gazed at the couple. The held each other as if they've been apart for years.

"Hey, how are you?" he questioned, with a huge grin. To him, it was about damn time she started acting normal. But before he had anything to celebrate, she pulled away. She did so, realizing how her raw emotions took a hold and controlled her. She falsely assumed he wanted nothing other than to comfort and support her, as her best friend. She wouldn't allow his tenderness to reel her in, because he betrayed her by lying, by telling her father of the fabrication's her high school peer's made up.

Trying to get past that infidelity, Ness replied, "Getting fat, I seriously think I gained five pounds in the last week."

"Good," he countered, placing his palm on her expanding gut and leaned down kissing her cheek, "that means the baby is healthy. Now let's go get the baby some food."

Her cheeks reddened and began to overheat.

Her mind said, _Why did he act like these gestures were typical actions between us? Why is he being so nice? Oh yeah, because he knocked you up, and he's a good guy. He didn't even want to have sex with you Renesmee. Remember? He left you there alone in that hotel room, then returned for the hell of it. He got a good fucking in and that's it. _

Her attitude towards him went from welcoming to hardhearted. "Jake you gotta stop doing that," she informed.

"Sorry," he apologized, completely confused by her. Then he assumed the reason she's been acting so indifferent to him was because the pregnancy hormones must be giving her mood swings.

Once they made it to her car he handed over the large lime green paper bag. "Here."

She took it and peeked in to see patterned tissue paper hiding something. By the weight and the feel she presumed it to be a blanket, maybe for the baby?

Jacob took his usual spot at the driver's seat and Ness climbed into the car to sit on the passenger's side.

"You got me a present?" she wondered, pulling the tissue paper out, "What for?"

"Because I saw 'em and thought of you."

Once she saw what they were, she laughed. After buckling herself in she shoved the tissue paper back into the present bag.

Jake readjusted his seat, the rear view mirrors and buckled himself in, while saying, "You'll need those. My dad and I have used the same towels since I was probably a baby."

Ness chuckled. "Hardy-har-har."

"I'm serious and you've been complaining about my house having not towels for the past week."

"Thanks."

Jacob slowly drove through Port Angeles, searching for a place to eat an earliy dinner. Ness was having trouble deciding what sounded good and Jacob was trying to spot a place that did not seem crowded. Though since it was Friday night, nearly every place was packed.

While Jake kept up his quest to find a less crowded restaurant, Ness genuinely inquired, " How was your orientation?"

"It was cool," he replied keeping his eyes on the traffic, "they showed us everything we'd be doing, the lockers, the gym, my dorm."

"What's your dorm room look like?"

"It's pretty plain, whitewashed cylinder walls but it's bigger than my room at home. I have the one at the end of the building so I would have had my own room."

"Cool."

"Did you know I get free housing whether or not I want to live on campus?"

"What dorms aren't good enough?"

"No they're fine and apparently, I get free health care and food."

"Really?" she retorted surprised. She guess all that entails having a free ride.

"Yeah," he assured her and pulled into a small parking lot, " I can save up some cash for our little one. Hey next Friday can you drop me off at the airport?"

"Sure, so what classes did you sign up for?"

"General," he stated cutting the engine off, "but Renesmee, I did a lot of thinking and I can't go to school while you're here."

"Why am I dropping you off at the airport then?"

"I'm only going back so I can pack up all my stuff and drive back home."

Clearly outraged, she slapped his arm. "Are you stupid?"

Jake flinched and returned the acidic tone. "I did what you asked, I went up there I saw what it was like, thought things through and even signed up for classes like you wanted me too."

"Did you like it?"

"Yeah I did but all I could think about was you and the baby. I did as you asked me."

"No you didn't, I asked you to go to school not to quit school. I asked you to freaking think! If you did you'd see that you getting an education is what's best for us. In five years you can have a career, depending on what you want to be, and if, if I keep the baby you could support us better than if you quit all together."

"If you keep the baby?" he questioned. She kept going back and forth about keeping the baby all week and it was pissing Jacob off.

Before stepping out of the car she questioned, "Why should I keep the baby, if it'll jeopardize your future?"

She slammed the door and walked up to the entrance of a place called Café Gardens. Ness took in the scene; it appeared as if someone had turned their home into a restaurant. Jacob followed and both were seated at a booth with a tiny candle on the table. Ness thought the dimly lit restaurant felt to intimate. Everything lately felt extremely cozy and over personal.

Still upset, Ness looked over the menu noticing everything was over fifteen bucks. Jacob sat across from her observing her. Neither spoke.

Ness took her mother's advice and ordered a small steak to get protein in her system and she stuck to water. Jake of course ordered the biggest steak they had, that she knew somehow, it wouldn't fulfil his appetite. Their food was ordered, their drinks delivered and finally Jacob spoke up.

"I thought this out Ness. I have a sister in Hawaii."

She nodded, nervously fidgeting with a fork gazing out into the cloudy skies. She knew his sister Rebecca lived out on the main island and didn't like where the conversation was going.

Jake continued," My brother in-law is part owner of construction company, so I moving for work."

Ness clenched the fork tighter with both hands. The thin metal was now warm from her body heat and she actually bent it the slightest.

"You can't move," she snarled.

"I'll go see how the job market is and- "

Cutting him off she whined, "But, I want you here."

Jacob slid from his booth. Their eyes did not disconnect from one another's vision as he sat at her side. By the look of his wheat hued eyes, she saw seriousness and a permanence. Whether this continuity was good or bad, she couldn't tell but she was scared.

He needed her to understand, to comprehend that his baby was more important than most anything in this entire world. For once, he had full faith that she wouldn't behave selfishly.

Reaching down, Jake took her hand and laced their fingers together. Of course, Ness saw this as an inappropriate motion but the tenseness across his face forced her not to say a word about it.

Jake explained, "I want to stay, believe me I want to be here to watch your belly grow and I want to go to every doctor's appointment with you but right now, the baby is more important than what we want."

Settling the fork down, she readjusted herself to face Jake, by pulling a leg up and folding it beneath her opposite leg. Unintentionally, her knee settled on his lap. She didn't know what to say, so stupidly she gawked at his lips then down at their laced hands.

"What exactly do you plan to do? Wh-what type of construction?"

"Dredging and if it goes well, I was hoping you'd move out there with me. We could rent a place and I'll take care of you and the baby."

Ness stared at him, completely astonished. She pulled her hands away. Whatever dredging was, it didn't sound safe and she did not want Jacob to participate in anything that could potentially kill him. And moving away was not an option.

"What about your schooling?" she wondered.

"Even if I keep that scholarship, I'll still have to leave. I'd be moving to Oregon, but you're more important so I'm giving that scholarship up and that's it. Not another word about it."

"I'm giving up everything for you and for this kid!" she shouted.

"No! You're not! I'm giving up everything," she howled. It was an appropriate thought. She was giving up so much she was tossing out dreams she hadn't dreamed yet, and forgetting any hopes she had of leaving for school. Her opportunity to travel was gone, and her chance at finding her soul mate was cut in half because of this child and the entire shape of her body would alter dramatically. She was giving up everything, the least Jacob could do was what she told him, because it really was in his best interest. She wouldn't allow him to toss his opportunities on this mistake.

"And I'll be damned if you're gonna toss your future away for me."

"Renesmee-"

"Jacob, we're supposed go on with our lives and act like I'm not having this baby."

"I never agreed to that."

"Ten years down the line, I don't want you to be stuck in a garage changing oil or working your hands to the bone in construction. You're so smart and capable Jacob, and you have this opportunity to make something of yourself. Not many people get a free ride and I hear how everyone talks about you, you have a chance to make it to the NFL."

"Nessie, I need to take that job for _us_."

She reached for his hands, and begged, "Please, go to school. We both know that in the long run its best just, spend the rest of the summer with me."

"If I keep that scholarship, I have to leave to Oregon next Friday for summer training."

"So you'll miss the first appointment either way?"

"Unfortunately, yeah."

Once more silence fell between them. Ness was sad that he would miss it but school had the best outcome.

"Oregon's closer than Hawaii," she murmured, letting his hands free. "I'll miss you," she stated pulling him into a hug.

Jake was annoyed that she assumed he would go to Oregon. Pulling her from him he said, "I'll miss you too but we need money now, so I'm gonna take the job."

"If that's the problem, I'll move back home, my parents can help us out. "

"I'm not asking for your father's help, he hates me enough as it is. I won't go and beg for money."

"You can't leave me but... you can't throw away your scholarship."

"I have to for you and our baby."

"No…It's…" she paused contemplating how she could coax him into going to school. Then she said, " It's not, yours."

At the words Jacob's blood boiled. He got up from the booth. "Oh please, then tell me whose child are you carrying?"

Nessie's couldn't say a word. It was the biggest lie she's ever told. The absense of answer gave Jacob his answer.

"That's what I thought, Don't say shit like that! I know it's mine."

Then the most horrible words Jacob could ever hear spilled from her mouth. " I don't want it to be your child."

"So you rather it be someone else's?" he said and stormed off towards the bathrooms.

"I didn't mean…" she stuttered but he couldn't hear her. When she got up to follow him, she noticed that everyone in the dining room were staring. Embaressed, that she and Jacob successful made a scene, she quickly walked towards the bathrooms. Before Jacob could hide away in the mens bathroom, she stopped him.

"I didn't mean it like that. It's not _you_, it's... Have you ever considered that maybe I don't want a child at all?"

"If that's how you feel then…why don't you give it up? Go have it taken care?"

Thinking it over, she retorted, "Maybe I should?" However, she had no intention to do such a gruesome thing.

"What?" Jake asked in shock. He was blowing smoke when he said she should give it up, but she, she sounded like she meant it.

"There's no way, I'd never be able to face you again."

"I wouldn't let you anyways," he replied as a person stepped from the ladies room. The couple uncomfortabley waited til the person was out of sight.

"I'm not gonna lie," Ness whispered deciding the entire restaraunt didn't need to hear any more of their personal dilema, " it crossed my mind, I almost thought I was in the free and clear when my dad suggested it, but it's half you, Jacob. Dad always said to have an abortion was murder and to get rid of your child would be, not only be murder but I feel it'd be the end of our friendship if I did so but things would be easier."

She thought of how simple life could be, but again she lied to Jake. "Maybe I should get rid of it."

"If you don't want this responsibility, fine but don't kill my child because of that. You don't have to stick around but, I want our baby. Don't have an abortion, let me raise it. I guess there's not much more I can do or say, its whatever you decide."

He stood there waiting for her to take away the two most important things in his life. She'd have the abortion, kill their child and after that Jacob wouldn't speak to her. She was dead on when she said if she had an abortion that woud be the end of their friendship. After that his child would gone, his best friend we be gone and he'd have nothing but a scholarship.

"This isn't just my decision," she said.

"Mostly it's yours," he replied with his arms folded and his shoulder leaning against the wall. He looked down at the floor and his boots, ther was no way he could look at her.

"It's both our baby," she countered, forcing herself to be in his line of vision. She tapped at the bottom of his chin and he looked up at her. "It's ours, all ours and no one's going to tell us what to do with him or her."

"Whatever makes you happy makes me happy. Whatever you decide goes."

"Go to school. That's what I'm deciding, that'll make me happy."

"I don't think I can do that. I can't take off knowing you have no help."

"I have my mom, and the rest of my family. I even have Claire and your sister."

"But what if something happens while I'm away?"

"I'll call and you can fly down."

"There's a little thing called money Ness, I'd have to pay five hundred bucks for a plane ticket."

"My mom will pay for it."

"I thought the whole point of you moving out was to prove how mature and independent you are? You can't very well prove your independence if you're asking your parents for cash."

"You're right. But, if it's an emergency then I'll grovel, I'll beg my parents for cash I don't care. You need to go to school, I want the best for you."

"What about you? How's this going to work out for you?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, " My first step is to graduate high school."

"Fine, "Jake said, unfolding his arms.

"You'll go to school?"

"Are you keeping the baby?"

"Yes." There was no way in hell she would abort his child. However, if she had to lie about disposing their child for the sake of his future, she'd lie. Her fake hesitation forced him to make the decision to go to school.

"If I find out you have so much as a cold, I'm moving back home."

Wrapping her arms around her waist and muttered into his chest, "I'll be fine."

* * *

**Author's Note #2**: Okay I cranked this on out in a little over an hour. I am not proud of this chapter, it's not creative but I did make ya'll a promise. I won't go back on it. So thanks for your reviews, I can't express how grateful I am for the support.* I had an anonymous reviewer say something about other character's disappearing, well something along that line. I will let ALL ya'll know that some will be reappearing, including: Billy, Bella, Edward, Claire, Embry, Rosalie, Charlene, Nahuel, Leah, maybe a new character or two, I'm still debating but of course we will also meet the little baby…boy or girl? I have a pole up you guys can control the outcome of that one, because I'm not sure where I want to go with that. Oi! But I will let some of the Bella/Edward drama make subtle appearances later on in the story. Anyways, this story is mainly about Ness and Jake, so obviously most is happening around them. Alright, no more explanations if you have questions or comments ask me. Hope you enjoyed, please review.

**Special thanks to: **thomabri**, **trsofnaruto,csfla -jrflgirl I'll try not to doubt myself, patty(heart)cake it's wonderful to have you back, mionewriter007, 120n12, dkgors, Tashay789, BrownEyesInControl, JUSTaDAMNbook, luv2beloved, nfanpepsi, cocopucks, sarah, mami-hai, Efficient Vixen, and all my anonymus people. I really wish I could send you previews but oh well, you choose to be an anon. Thanks a million for the support, suggestions always welcome.


	20. The Beauty of Making Love

**A/N #1**: FYI, this is a long one. Happy Reading!

* * *

_"I miss you a little, I guess you could say, a little too much, a little too often, and a little more each day"_

**Chapter TWENTY – The Beauty of Making Love-**

(14 weeks 2 days pregnant)

The asphalt in the school parking lot was slick and the skies were clouded. Renesmee didn't expect the weather to be great on the first day of school, and to be honest she loved the gloomy weather. Most likely because it was another thing that reminded her of her Jacob, in truth everything reminded her of him. At the thought of his name, Nessie's lips curled and her hand levitated to her swollen middle. At least she had some form of him with her.

Jacob left for school, all but kicking and screaming. It did not feel right for him to leave but she reassured him that it was the most sensible thing to do. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, deep down he knew leaving for school the wisest choice for both of them. It would help him secure a future for his child and Ness. Though, being separated from his best friend would not be easy.

Once she dropped him off at the airport, she burst into tears. The girl clung to him so desperately, he nearly changed his mind. Before he set off she requested three things of him; first being that they'd speak everyday through some form of technology, that he would come visit as often as he could and the final request confused him. She begged him not to fall in love with some college girl. She said, " Even if they're in school, most are still ignorant and catty. You don't need to put up with that and I don't want someone to break your heart." Little did she know his heart was hers. That being said, he supported this and informed her that the most important things to him was school, games and her but above all, he made it clear that their baby was number one. His confession of that somehow made her jealous of the baby. Why wasn't she number one?

The first week felt like months and in that time Ness only recalled crying. In the mornings before work, after she emptied the contents of her stomach, she'd feel an aching in her chest and during the day the pain would dull but at night she cried. She knew she'd miss Jacob to a certain extent but it was getting ridiculous. Although, being in his bedroom did not help rid of her longing to see him. She knew she had to get out of his house the second she turned eighteen and was able to find a place of her own.

On one occasion Billy knocked on the door asking why she was crying. She told him everything, and he in return spoke with her about these things. He declared he did not hate her like she assumed but he was scared for both her and Jacob. He told her, "The road you two are about to take will be tough, but I think if you guys stick together, work it through, it will be easier." This only made her cry more, she responded, "But he's seven hours away from me, almost four hundred miles. We're not sticking together, we're only going to grow apart." Billy let her know that Jacob would only benefit from being so far away but they both had sacrifices to make, and his sons sacrifice was getting an education so he's later be able to take care of his child. Ness agreed and informed him that was the only reason she sent him off to Corvallis, Oregon.

The attachment Billy found out she had to son was worrisome, not in a bad way, but he couldn't change the way she felt. Her nighttime sobbing became so consistent that Billy purchased a small television for his room. He hoped the sound of the t.v. would drown out her weeping. Part of him was glad she felt this way, maybe she was recognizing her true feelings for his son. And if she wasn't at least, he was distinguishing mature traits emanating from her.

The morning sickness Ness had eventually subsided and she found herself with extra time in the mornings before work. The consistent gaining and losing weight worried her and she was sure to mention it to her doctor at her first checkup. Of course, Jacob had to miss out on the first appointment, Bella joined her though.

During the waiting time, Ness hid in the bathroom weeping because Jacob was missing out on the first sonogram. Her emotions were out of wack, but eventually she pulled herself together and managed to stop crying. The doctor informed her that everything was well and he told her not to be alarmed by her weight fluctuation, because it was quit normal until a certain point. They left her with a black and white grainy picture of the life inside her. She at long last, knew this was real and she wasn't Ness anymore, she was the mother of Jacob's child.

Anxiously Ness sat in her car. The rest of the summer flew by and today was the first day of school and already she wanted to cry. Knowing Jacob wasn't here with her, was like taking a security blanket away from a child. She knew Jacob was important to her but she never realized how prominent he was in her life. He was her best friend after all, her constant, her rock. And because of the life growing inside her, she felt insecure. The one time she truly needed Jake the most, for moral support at school, he was gone and it was all her fault. All the major events in the last few months had been caused by her. She all but raped him, with no protection then she got pregnant and forced him to go to college in another state by using the life of his child against him. To say she felt no guilt, was a lie.

Students walked by her car, some people she knew waved others knocked on her window to say hi but she said she'd speak to them later. She was scared to leave her car because she was worried someone would notice her ballooned stomach. She didn't appear to have a muffin top from a summer of binge eating like her mother said, her stomach was now firm and rounding out, clearly she was pregnant. Her petite body couldn't hide that fact.

Gazing out the windshield of her car, Ness unconsciously palmed circles into her stomach. Briskly, she pulled her hand away condemning the action. She couldn't very well be doing that in the middle of Government class, that act was bound to reveal her secret. This was classified, she couldn't give anyone the evidence of their assumptions. If they discovered anything, it would declare their suspicions of her promiscuity right.

In recent weeks, to conceal the proofs, Ness stayed away from anything form fitting by wearing only over sized shirts. Luckily her mother took her school shopping and the only items she picked out were loose fitting tops, dresses and maternity jeans. She really wanted the clothes to distract from her pregnant abdomen. Unintentionally her hand went to her stomach again. Her mind wondered from baby, to Jacob. At the thought of name, she pulled out her phone to call him. Nervously, she dialed the number she knew by heart. Nessie's hands were shaky, her palms were drenched in sweat and the jitters made her legs fell numb.

On the campus cafeteria, Jacob had just collected his breakfast, free of charge. Just one of many benefit of his scholarship. He, alone, decided going to school was the wisest option and to give it up would be selfish. If he gave it up that thousands upon thousands of dollars he would have basiclly been burning.

In the first three weeks since he started school he realized he only did so well because Nessie was drilling him. She was the only reason he got the scholarship to begin his knowledge she submitted his athletic profile to every major division one school and she suggested he attended a college recruiting training camp and he did. That was what got a few universities interested in the unbreakable Jacob Black. She was the one who pushed him to keep his grades up and he cooperated because he got to spend extra time with Ness studying. Now she wasn't here and it sucked. After he finished his schoolwork, he didn't get to watch a movie with her and have her cuddle up to him, he got a good ass kicking during football practice. Then he had to wake up, attend school and go to practice again. He was left with two free days a week, which was Tuesday and Thursday's, that he spent working at a local garage.

He found it sort of humorous that Ness had his life plan mapped out more than her own. Thinking over it, he decided it wasn't that funny, she had to figure out her future plans of her own and not worry about him. She always worried about his future.

Jake nodded at his fellow teammate and made his way over to the end of the long communal table. Before he sat, he placed his tray down and pulled out a folded up NCAA Transfer Guide from his pocket. This booklet had every piece of information about transferring to another Division One university. Starting at his meal, Jake began to read over the lead book. The first directions were to concentrate on school and football. He already set up a meeting with the athletic director to speak about transferring and he hoped that The University of Washington would take him in. It somewhat worried him because the Seattle school didn't offer him a scholarship to begin with. However he was going to do what he could and that was focusing on his studies and playing football to the best of his ability. Sure school had quite literally just begun but he was getting the hell out of Oregon and getting back to his family. Ness and the baby needed him. He figured out how he was able to please Ness, by keeping his scholarship but please himself, by getting nearer to La Push.

Just as took a bite of his sausage, his cell vibrated in his front pocket. He retrieved the phone from his front pocket. Caller I.D. said it was,_ BESTIE_. He grinned, she had changed it without him knowing.

Closing the guide he flipped open his cell and answered, "Yes, Ms. Cullen?"

"Good Morning," Ness greeted. She didn't understand why butterflies fluttered about in her gut, it was just Jacob.

"Morning," he replied, evidently there was food in his mouth, "It's kinda early. What are you doing, shouldn't you be in school?"

While twirling a strand of hair in her finger she gazed out the front windshield of her car, observing the overexcited teenagers. The first day of school was always exciting but this year was different. She could not get excited, he wasn't here. " I'm sitting in my car waiting for the bell."

Worriedly, Jacob dropped the thin fork he held and said, "Is something wrong?"

"No, what makes you think something's wrong?"

Jake smiled then took a bite of the overcooked sausage. "You can't hide your feelings from me Ness. You're nervous aren't you?"

"How can you tell?" she sighed.

"The tone of your voice. Why don't you go find someone to keep you company."

"No, it's really weird without you and I rather wait in the car, where no one can see me," she moaned, grazing her index finger vertically across her belly. She sure hoped her unconstrained shirt hid her problem good.

"Renesmee, you can't hide. I know this whole ordeal is uncomfortable for you and I'm not the one walking around with a belly but this is our reality, I don't want you to feel embarrassed by this."

Pressing herself further back into the driver's seat, she smirked and gazed up at the roof of her car. The tightness in her throat was from her wanting to cry but not allowing herself to do so. Jake was the greatest guy in the world, he always said the nicest things to her.

"Why are you so sweet?" she wondered.

"Because I'm the best," he retorted. Knowing she was ashamed of having a baby out of wedlock he added, " Listen, I know you're ashamed but if anyone says anything, you can everyone we're together or married and…"

"I'm not telling anyone anything. It's none of their damn business," she snapped. He mood changed from wanting to cry because of Jake's sincerity, to wanting to hit the first person that looks at her the wrong way.

"When you go to your first class you keep your chin up. You know Seth and Claire are there for you."

" I know."

"Kay," he said, choping away at his waffles. Ness knew he was eating but she wouldn't complain about his bad habit. He had class soon and he had to quickly eat and get there on time. "How's the baby?" he asked.

"Fine. Can we talk about something else?"

"Sure sure, how's my dad doin? I haven't talked to him in a couple of days."

"He's fine but," she hesitated, "you need to talk to him."

Straightening his posture, Jake scowled. "What about? Has he been rude to you?"

"No. No not at all, he even helped me find a place..."

At that Jacob rolled his eyes. He didn't care if she wanted to move out of his father's home after she turned eighteen. She shouldn't be living alone, and pregnant at that.

Ness continued,"...but uh-mmm, he missed an appointment the other day. We sorta got in an argument about it but I rescheduled and took him."

"Next time just call Rach, she'll handle it."

"Okay but they said something about him missing other appointments, appointments about a foot care routine?"

"He's been missing them?"

She shrugged, "I guess? The doctor said if he doesn't keep up on appointments and the routine at home they could amputate his feet."

If Jake didn't know better, he would think she was actually worried about his father. She gained some serious points with him.

"I'll call him. Next time call Rachel alright, she'll put him in line."

"Alright, I'm just, I'm worried about him."

"It's not your concern."

"I understand," she said watching the sprinkles hit the glass of the windshield, "but I still worry, I want him to be okay."

"He'll be fine. Rach and I 'll have to chew him out. I think I'll call and tell Becca too. Thanks for telling me Ness."

"No problem, so how's things up in Corvallis, Oregon?"

" Mmmm, good, kinda boring without you here. Oh, I found a job a few blocks away from campus. It's part time but purely commission, so I'm getting my works worth."

"When do you have time to work? You have school and practice and games, hell, I'm surprised you found time to answer you phone."

"I have time. Instead of partying with the team on my freedays and weekends, I go to work or if class is canceled I show up. Thank God O'neil gave me a great recommendation otherwise they wouldn't have given me such a flexible schedule. This job means I can afford to come home every few weeks when I don't have a game."

Ness sat there, her burning eyes. The lump in her throat swelled. It felt like an apple core was lodged in her throat and she wanted to cry. It had already been a month and she missed him more than a dog missed his bone after he buried it. Part of her contemplated moving up there will him, another part of her craved to prove her dad wrong, to show him she could be mature and responsible with her independence, that's why she was looking for a place to rent. The whole reason she stayed out here was to finish high school and to stay close to her family, which now included Billy and Rach. She wanted the baby to grow up near it's family. Even if moving off with him sounded great in her head, he's be busy and she'd have to find a place of her own, she couldn't live in his dorm.

"I miss you," she squeaked as the bell rang. She sighed knowing the first day of her senior year was going to be hell.

"Miss you too."

"The bell ran I gotta go."

"Okay, have a good day."

"You too."

"Bye Ness."

"Bye Jake."

Jacob hung up wondering if all this was worth it. He didn't like not being at Nessie's side, but right now, he'd have to deel.

Nessie's first day went by to slowly for her liking. She had weights again, except this year Jacob wouldn't be her spotter, she had to deal with Charlene. Although, she could survive that period since Seth and Brady were there. Her second period was alright since Seth was always lighthearted and making her government class fun. The remainder of her classes she shared with Claire with the acception of her last period Physics class with Collin and Claire.

One the second day, she wondered if it was safe for her to be bench pressing while pregnant.

That evening she made a call to her doctor and he informed her that she wasn't aloud to bench press flat on her back. She had to visit her doctor about a safe work out regimine and he gave her note to hand over to Coach Smith .From then on she started lifting lighter weights, with more reps. This is what started the rumors that she was pregnant. Charlene noticed Ness was giving special treatment and she pried the coach for more information. All he said was, "It isn't safe for her condition."

That's when the torment started. People's hushed murmurs pissed her off, it made her insecure and she had other things to worry about besides stupid high school gossip. The rumors that were spread about her were only have true. She was pregnant, but she never gave anyone verbal confermation and so far no one asked about it. She only heard the stupid stories Claire was telling her. The one rumor that made her laugh, was that she had random sex at a club in Seattle and that she had no clue how to contact the father. That one really did make her look like a slut.

However, she put all her time into the move. She settled into a small two bedroom one bath modular home. The extremely faded yellow home had a flimsy splintered front porch deck and a carport. The rent was only four hundred and fifty a month, which included water, trash and sewer. Her mother reluctantly helped Ness move her bedroom furniture, television and a small love seat from their den. Bella gave her a credit card, saying that she could use it anytime, but Ness decided that not using it would prove her independent. The following day her mother showed up and took her to Seatlle to buy stuff for the house. Ness hesitated but knew that after the deposit she made on the house she couldn't afford the necessities. So she allowed her mom to purchase things from Crate and Barrel. She bought her a nice side table for the living room, kitchen essentials such as silverwear, dishes, pots and pans as well as bathroom accessories. Silently she kept tabs and once she reached five hundred, she had to stop her mother.

Ness was grateful but the home was still stark, with white walls but lovely hardwood floors. There were necessities she still needed such as a dinning room table and baby stuff. she to crunch the numbers. She opted out of satellite and internet, which saved her about a hundred dollars a month. Billy knew the owner and convinced him to include gas in her rent. So the remaining bills she had was electric, groceries and gas. She was lucky that her mother offered to continue to pay her cell phone bill and car insurance. With all these numbers added up, she figured out seventeen and a half hours a week at minimum wage wasn't enough. She had to get a second job on the weekends to break even.

(18 weeks 4 days along)

By October, Ness was extremely annoyed by her growing belly. She just wanted to press the fast forward button and have the damn kid already. It was becoming harder to breath, her back was becoming achy and it was more difficult hiding behind oversized shirts and jackets. She was beginning to feel the baby move around but she had yet to feel it kick. It didn't seem normal. But so far she had succeeded at keeping people in the dark until one day Nessie's fourth period English class had to go to the library to research topics on their controvertial topic paper.

Ness debated between teenage pregnancy and abortion. However, the topics hit a little to close to home, so she went with stem cell research. Ness was reading over a book she found when Claired interupted her.

"Ness."

"Hmm?" Ness replied not taking her head out of the book.

"I don't mean to be nosey but are," Claire paused propping her head up by her chin curiously. Then after looking around the library, she whispered, " Are you pregnant?"

Renesmee shut her book shut and looked up at Claire. "You believe the rumors too?"

"Don't play stupid. Do I have to ask twice?"

Ness closed her eyes and sighed. Claire was her friend, she should be honest and no one was within ear distance to over here their conversation. Ness questioned as to whether or not she tell CLaire the truth now or at lunch. She peeked up at the clock, it read eleven fifty one. It was so close to lunch, that she decided to start explaining.

"Who told you?"Ness wondered.

"Quil."

While both girls began packing up their things, Ness asked, "How does he know?"

"I guess Jacob knew about it, he told Embry and Quil. Quil told me."

"I swear they gossip more than girls."

"They're close Nessie, they tell each other everything. They all knew Quil and I had sex an hour after it happened."

"_Fuck_…" she snarled, "I can't trust Jake anymore."

With a wounded expression, Claire whined, "Why didn't you come to me? I wouldn't have told anyone, I coulda helped."

"I know," Ness countered while wrapping a jacket around herself.

"And I wouldn't keep something as big as this from you."

Renesmee apologized, while buttoning up jacket and slinging her messanger across her shoulders. "I'm sorry Claire, I didn't want anyone to know. Does everyone know? By now everyone on the reservation knows. I'm gonna kill Jake."

"I don't blame you for feeling that way but even if he hadn't told a soul, you can't really hide it."

Nessie's hands settled on her stomach."Don't I just look fat?"

" At first I thought you gained weight but I've known you for a long time, you and Jacob spend two weeks before school working out."

"Jacob was at school."

"There's already a rumor going around about all these guys that could be the father. Quil and Embry know but they won't tell me because Jacob said you might not want people to know. I heard its Nahuel's."

That was the worse thing to hear. Not the rumors, she was used to rumors but Jake said she didn't want people to knwo who the father was. Off course she didn't care if people knew who the father was, she was proud that it was Jacob's child. Although, it made her think that Jacob didn't want anyone to know he's the one who got her pregnant. The pregnant teen thought over the several conversations she had with Jake and he only told her to tell people they were together or married but she wasn't going to lie to Claire about that, she was going to be honest with her friend and clear every rumor.

" For the record, I've had sex with one guy and it wasn't Nahuel."

When the lunch bell rang Claire and Ness started walking towards the parking lot. Once they reached Claire's car she unlocked the doors and they jumped in her Nissan. The first words Claire spoke were, "It's none of your exes is it?"

Knowing she was in the safe confines of Claire's car, Ness looked over to Claire and gave her to the answer that was on everyone's mind at school. "It's Jake's."

Claire's eyes went wide, her jaw hit the floor and she said, "The baby's Jacob's?"

"I-I,"Claire stuttered, " Ya know I'm not that surprised, I kinda figured but he's in Oregon. I would think he'd stay here. How could he leave you?"

Ness thought her reaction was strange but she replied, " He put up a fight to stay. All Jake wanted to do was go to school and become something to make his father proud, then suddenly he wants to quit school. I've never known him to be a quitter or to pass up an opportunity. I had to push him out the door to leave, I practically lied saying I'd have an abortion if he didn't go. I told him the baby wasn't his."

Claire scowled and she seemed mad. "How could you do that?"

"I was doing whatever I had to, to get him to school. I won't have him resenting me or the baby because his dreams were killed. UGH! Get this, he asked me to move to Hawaii with him."

"Why Hawaii?"

" His sister's out there, he was gonna spend the summer out there testing the job market and if all went well he was gonna move me out there with him."

"Hawaii? You passed up Hawaii!"

"Claire he'd be an idiot to give up on school, to throw everything he worked so hard for. He's so stupid. He told me if I so much as get a cold he'll move back here."

"Don't be so mean, Ness. He wants to take care of you and you're basically telling him to fuck off."

"I'm not though. If someone else got me pregnant, Jake would go about his business wouldn't he?"

Claire cocked her head. "Would he?"

Ness stared at her stupidly. _Would Jake take care of me if the baby wasn't his?_

Claire asked the same question Ness just asked herself. "You don't think he'd take care of you whether or not it's his kid?"

"I don't see why he would? Either way, he should live his life, and I can take care of myself and the baby. It pisses me off that he thinks I need his help. I'm not his little sister."

"No you're not. Ness he loves you, ya know?"

Nessie's heart dropped. She thought_,_ _Loves me? Jake loves me? Of course he loves me, we've always said we loved one another. _However, at the thought of him loving her more than a friend, excited her. _What if_...

But she stopped any day dreaming and said, "I know, I love him too but he's changed and I don't like it ."

"How's he changed?"

" His whole attitude, with me, with everything really. Like quitting school and the whole moving to Hawaii to get a job ."

"You mean he's putting you and the baby first?"

" I guess he is but he's being impulsive, and not in a good way. He even had sex with me of all people. Impulse is so unlike him and he's physical with me now, it bothers me."

That comment bothered Claire. Jacob didn't seem abusive. "Physical?"

"Uh-huh, he'd tries to hold my hand, hug me, rub my back and belly stuff like that. It's weird."

Claire released a breath, flicked her wrist at Ness and rolled her eyes. "Pft...Ness you two have always been like that"

Nessie's head actively flailed her head back and forth. "No we haven't."

"Uh, _YEAH_ you have,' I've seen it with my own eyes."

"You're eyes deceived you."

"R.C., I have twenty-twenty vision. And from what my perfect eyes saw was you would always be huggin on him. Even when you had other boyfriends, you guys were always wrapped around another."

"You make it sound like I was a cat in heat climbing all over him."

"Never at school, but anywhere else."

"Jacob hugged me at school."

At Nessie's revelation, Claire raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows.

Ness rolled her eyes again. Something she had become very talented at was rolling her eyes. "Okay so we hugged but he's my best friend. Friends do that. It wasn't anything more than, platonic."

" WE ALL SAW. And you're having his baby so whatever's going on between you two is a little more than friendly, but it wasn't until the last month of school that you guys became more public about it, more…? You guys acted like a couple."

"Claire you don't know what you're talking about."

"Ness, Brady asked me if you guys were going out and as I recall, he kissed you're hand in front of me. Quil and Embry can back me up on that and I even saw you kiss his neck at graduation."

Ness chuckled. "I was congratulating him."

"Then you should have kissed him on the cheek not the neck."

Trying to fight a blush she said, "He's whole head taller than me, what was I supposed to do?"

"Are you guys together now that you're pregnant?"

"No."

"Really? Why not?"

"I don't love him Claire."

"Who are you fooling? Not me, and you just said you love him. Plus people don't just get together because they already love one another. They get together because they like each other, because they care about one another but you guys have more than that. You guys weren't some one night stand, you've been best friends since you moved here. You must have some feelings for him if you had sex with him. "

" I repeat I'm_ not in love_ with him. He's just Jacob, my segregate big brother."

"You really don't love him, or find him attractive or anything?"

"Sure, he's probably the most attractive guy I've laid eyes on but he's like..." Nessie's mind crawled back to prom night. He left, he didn't want sex with her, but to a guy sex was sex. He had sex with her because he was liek her family and he would do anything for her. " ...He didn't even want to have sex with me."

"I think he did," Claire laughed, playing with her car keys.

"No. It just happened. It was spur of the moment lust and I won't start a relationship with him merely cuz I'm pregnant with his kid. That's not fair to me or him."

"How many times have you had sex with him?"

"I'm not answering that."

"More than once?"

"The first time wasn't exactly the best, I didn't know the first time would hurt so much. So I asked to do it again. Twice was it."

"Oh my God! He took your virginity?"

"Shut up Claire!" Ness looked around praying there was no one in the parking lot that heard Claire's comment through the car.

"You really don't love him?"

" I do love him, like family."

"Okay but if it was a onetime thing it woulda happened once."

That last comment resonated. Why did she feel the need to have sex with him a second time? The first time was uncomfortable, she knew it would be but she wanted to experience the beauty of making love with him.

_What! _she asked herself, repeating her thoughts again._ I wanted to experience the beauty of making love with him_.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Many of you are having a hard time seeing where this story is going, and I'm glad. I'll leave it at that. Claire's so forward, but in a good way, she's gentle and kind. Unlike Ness who's blunt, and sometimes blunt hurts. She's seeing that maybe there is a bit more between her and Jacob than she origianlly thought, or she's wishing there was more. Hmm...What' son her mind? even I'm not exactly sure, but I have an idea about what's going down and Jake's gonna spill so soon. I won't go in to detail about things, so if you have questions ask. Reviews get previews. And I apologize for not getting this chapter up sooner. I hope you all enjoyed.

Oh BTW- The NCAA stands for the National Collegiate Athletic Association. It's main purpose is a semi-voluntary association of 1,281 institutions, conferences, organizations and individuals that organizes the athletic programs of many colleges and universities in the U.S. (Straight from Wikipedia)

**Thanks to**: bookworm26, tatianatalissa, patty(heart)cake, nfanpepsi, trsofnaruto, dkgors, luv2beloved, Tashay789, thomabri, MioneWriter007, csfla –jrflgirl, Roxy, JUSTaDAMNbook, Sarah, EfficientVixen, BrownEyesInControl,stephtheKiwi moonlight princess and my anon's thanks for your love and support. The only way I know how to repay you is to send you previews. SO THANKS.


	21. TwentyFourSeven

**A/N #1:** I've been gone to long and I owe you guys another long chapter. SO here it is...Enjoy.

* * *

"_We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy"_

**Chapter TWENTY ONE –Twenty Four Seven-**

(20 weeks)

All was quiet in Jacob's dorm, with the exception of the clicking radiator that hasn't worked since he moved into student housing. The frigid air of his room made him shiver and the cold cylinder brick walls kept it cool. Throwing a sweater over his broad shoulders, he sat up from his desk and opened the door. From the hallways tepid air hit his face. Rotating Jacob observed his dorm room. It was certainly larger than his home at home but more colder, both figuratively and literally. He would happily trade the space for his closet sized bedroom.

Pacing his way over to his desk, Jacob sat down and stared at his laptop. It was giving to him by Renesmee this last Christmas after her parents bought her a new one. Trying to refocus his thoughts, he shut the transfer guide he was reading for the millionth time and turned back to the laptop to finish his topic essay. However, he didn't have the patience to finish it. His meeting about transferring was next week and he needed to know every rule and detail.

Sighing, Jake leaned back into his chair and gazed up at the corkboard hanging over his desk. There were several pictures, schedules and random items pinned to that board. His eyes scanned his football schedule then panned over to a photo of a now clearly pregnant Ness with his niece and nephew. He was happy she was staying in contact with his family while he was away but he was envious of every living creature in Forks and La Push. He wanted to see his Ness. With frustration he rubbed his face with his hands and released another exaggerated sigh. She was everywhere he turned; his lap top, the pictures and even the damn shirt on his back was bought by her. She was in his head twenty-four-seven and wouldn't go away.

Peeking over his shoulder Jacob scowled at the ticking radiator beneath his window. Getting up from his seat, he walked over to his bed and lied across the warmth. Smirking to himself, Jacob remembered the day he and Ness picked out this bedding. They had gotten into a huge argument about the thickness of the comforter. He didn't want a thick blanket because he tended to overheat at night but she insisted, stating his dorm would probably be freezing cold. In that moment he was glad he gave in and picked the denser one, she was right.

Sitting up, Jacob grumbled and stretched before getting back to his desk. He felt like he was going insane alone in this dorm. He almost wished he didn't' request a single's room. Maybe it would have been nice to have a dorm mate annoying him. Better yet they would probably distract him from the thoughts of quitting school and heading home to be with Ness. He licked his finger and flipped through the transfer guide, trying to see if he missed anything. Eventually, he found his sight had again moved to the picture of Ness on his cork board. Gawking at it, he looked over the schedules, the university mascot sticker of the beaver, a traditional Quilette emblem and the dozen of pictures of his family that included, his father, late mother and one of he and his sisters when they were younger. He chuckled to see even a picture of Bella and Paul at a family barbeque with his niece and nephew. Then as soon as he saw the sonogram Ness has sent him, something in him sparked. He unpinned the black and white pixelated image and stared at it. He knew he had to quit moping and get serious. The only reason he was here was for that little baby and he didn't want to let his child or Renesmee down.

Tacking the sonogram back up Jacob shut his lap top and went back to reading the transfer guide. He was caught up on homework and his essay wasn't due for another two weeks. He figured his time would best be spent knowing the ins and outs of this manual, so he could easily transfer to the University of Washington in Seattle.

"What's that man?"

Peeved, Jacob turned to see the baby face of his neighbor and teammate, Andrew. It figures that once he gets focused that he would be interrupted. He should have kept his door closed.

"A Transfer guide," Jacob mumbled turning back to the booklet.

"Dude you're transferring?" Andrew questioned wandering further in the room and sat upon Jacob's bed, " You can't transfer, who's gonna be quarter back once you go? It sure as hell better not be Bryan."

"Relax," Jake declared, spinning in his chair to face his team mate, " I don't think you have nothing to worry about this season."

"You're really transferring?"

Draping his arm over the back of his chair Jake replied, "As soon as I can, yeah."

"What for?"

"My uh," he stuttered scratching at the back of his neck, than pointed at a picture on his nightstand. It was one of him and her with his niece Hannah on her hip at his graduation. It was so strange to think that she was pregnant then and he had no clue. She must have only been about a couple of weeks along then. Jake finished, " My girlfriend's pregnant. I want to be closer to her and the baby."

"Oh bummer," Andrew muttered picking up the picture from the table. His eyebrows raised before he mumbled, "Damn."

From his comment, Jake knew Andrew thought Ness was attractive. Swelling with pride Jake retorted, "Not really. She's been my best friend for years, if I had a pick at who I knocked up, it would have been her."

"I would have picked… no one," the boy mocked as he placed the picture frame back on the nightstand.

"Yeah, well I can't take anything back and honestly, I wouldn't want to."

Andrew looked over to the black frame and asked, "How old is she?"

"She just turned eighteen in September."

"How long have you been with her?"

Jake lied a little too quickly, "Since I was fourteen."

"Shit and how old are you now?"

"Nineteen."

"Five fucking years?" he exclaimed as if Jesus Christ himself just returned to earth for the final battle against evil.

Chuckling Jacob turned back to the transfer guide. Yeah he lied but in truth, she stole his heart five years ago."Something like that."

"I don't think I've ever been with a girl longer than five or six months."

"One day you'll meet a girl you'd do anything for and she'd sacrifice anything for you."

"You sound like you're in love, and it kinda makes you look like a pussy."

By now Jacob had turned back to reading his transfer guide while he and Andrew talked. "Maybe but I could still beat the shit outta you. Also, my girlfriend run the mile faster than you."

"Yeah right, I'm the fastest one the team," he informed, then rolled his eyes while shamefully admitting, "well second to you."

"No really…If she set her mind to it she could run the mile in five flat, I've seen her do it before. She should could have got a track scholarship but she chose not to run at all, because it would interfere with our time together. This year she can't play any sports, work out or do any of the school activities she loved. She could have done a lot of things if I didn't get her pregnant."

Jacob spoke and let the words spill out. He had a sudden realization that Ness was giving up so much more than he thought. She did so even before she got pregnant. Everything his best friend did revolved around him and while he enjoyed knowing that, it made him curious as to why? Why would she give up doing the things she loved or could benefit from just to have time with him? It made absolutely no sense especially since she seemed to have no interest in him romantically. He had to get whatever the situation was between them settled. It ate away at him daily and he just needed to bite the bullet and tell her the truth.

Just then he realized something. She may have offered up her time for him but that was her choice. Now, he knew he was giving up his time with her to be in school, he was going to miss out on time with his child because he lived so far away. The stinging at his eyes was sudden and a tear rolled down his cheek. Luckily his back was to Andrew and he would see him become emotional. Even if Jake didn't mind people knowing his feelings, he still had somewhat of a typical guy complex.

"You owe her man, pregnant at eighteen must suck."

Dabbing at his eye Jacob countered, "I owe it to her to finish school so I can support us, but she owes me too because if I don't get approved for that transfer I'm stuck up here for four years and that's four years of my kid life I might miss out on."

"Why doesn't she just move out here?"

Andrew felt the air fill with tension. Jacob was getting angry, not at his neighbor but the whole situation sucked.

Jake said, "She doesn't want to move out here, she wants the baby to be raised around my family and hers."

Andrew sat up and walked over to the desk. "You're the dad."

Looking up at Andrew, Jake responded, "I know but, but it's complicated. Plus she has to graduate high school before anything."

"What a nightmare," Jake's friend said stepping over to threshold of the dorm room. Then he added, "Shoulda wrapped it."

"I suggest you take your own advice."

Shoving hands into the pockets of his jacket, Andrew grin with the thoughts of his last conquest. "We're talking about the endeavors you had, not my sex life."

"She wasn't some venture Andrew, she's my soul mate."

With a chortled Andrew said, "Fucking pussy."

Jacob knew it sounded a bit sensitive but he didn't care. He chuckled saying, "Shut my door."

+Later that evening+

On a folding chair, Ness sat with her legs crossed and her hands shoved into the pockets of an old pullover of Jacob's. The size of it did hide the pregnancy but by now, everyone knew but most did not know who the father was. While watching Seth build the blaze of the bonfire, Ness felt the baby move around. It was an undeniable sensation, like a sneeze. And like a sneeze the phenomenon, was indescribable. Pressing her palms to her belly through the cotton fabrics, she internally begged for the baby to kick. When he or she didn't respond she pressed her brows together, worried. She'd have to take this up with her doctor at the next appointment.

The night sky was clear of clouds and a crescent moon smiled. Renesmee felt stupid, thinking the moon reminded her of Jacob's white smile. Clair and Quil bickered at her left about God knows what. Ness observed them for a while. Jealous. She sighed staring at the embers. Jacob was on her mind twenty-four-seven.

As the fire raged on, the scent from the barbeque hung in the cool air. Her stomach growled and almost as if reading her mind Embry walked up shoving a hot dog in her face.

"Hungry?" he offered.

Peering up, Ness smirked grabbing hot dog with the condiments already spread on it. "Yeah, thanks."

Embry sat at her side in an old lawn chair. Both ate in silence for a while, listening to Quil and Claire's never ending argument about nothing.

"So am I having a niece or nephew?" Embry wondered, finishing off his third hot dog and downing it with a can of soda.

After swallowing the food in her mouth, Ness answered, "I'm not sure yet, I've been waiting for Jacob to come home, so maybe we could find out together."

"Oh," he nodded, "Hey are you going to come to my game tomorrow? Everyone's gonna carpool to Seattle."

"I would but I can't. Rach and Paul invited me over for

"You getting along with Jacob's family?"

"I guess, yeah. Which is good because I have to associate with them for the rest of my life."

Just as Ness ended her assertion, an annoying top forty song rang out from Embry's pocket. He took his time to answer it. He had another bite of his hot dog, chewed and swallowed then pulled the phone from his pocket and read the caller i.d. He answered, "What up?"

"I'm kinda bored," Jacob said, "What are you doing?"

Because the voice travelling through Embry's phone sounded like Jacob, Ness intently listened, but she could hardly hear. Giving up quickly, she inserted herself into Claire and Embry's bickering. She found their argument over -hilarious.

"Hanging out. We just got the Bon Fire going."

"Who's there?" Jake interrogated. Though he knew very well who was there. Ness had a very unmistakable laugh. It wasn't necessarily a real laugh, she falsely forced a chuckle at something she found humorous. Occasionally though, he'd have the privilege to hear her true laugh, and he loved both laughs.

"Everyone," Embry retorted standing up from his chair.

Ness saw him begin to walk away, and she got up and followed. "Embry who's that?"

"Some asshole who thinks he's some big shot because he got a scholarship."

"Shut up you're at U-Dub for a scholarship too," she said smacking him in the arm.

Embry then uttered, "At least I visit."

At that Jake felt his insides, tighten in remorse, his heart's beat sped up uncontrollably. He did need to pay Ness a visit, he knew this, but his time was valuable. He couldn't miss out on his football practices or weekend games, otherwise hi scholarship could easily be revoked.

"That's Jake?" Ness queried, knowing very well it was.

"Yeah what's it to you?"

Reaching for the phone, she ordered, "Give me the phone Embry."

He lifted his hand, high above his head so the short pregnant girl couldn't reach. "No."

"Embry please, please," she begged.

Jacob though, was getting pissed that Embry was teasing Ness. He kept repeating, "Give her the phone, Embry." But with the cell high in the air, neither Ness or Embry could hear him.

"Give me a hug and I'll hand you the phone."

Ness didn't want to put up a fight, she wanted to talk to Jacob since she hadn't spoken to him all day. Giving in, she leaned in and wrapped her arms around Embry. With one arm, Embry hugged her back and lowered his hand to hand over the phone.

She kept one arm around him as she retrieved the phone, and Embry then unexpectedly rubbed her abdomen then stepped away to give her privacy.

"Jerk," she mumbled with a smile, the pressed the receiver to her ear, "Hello?"

"Hey," Jake responded excitedly, "I tried calling."

"I'm sorry I missed it, I left my phone at home."

"That's fine, I got the sonogram in the mail."

"That's an old one, I'll send you the new one I got yesterday."

"I'm assuming everything's good with the baby?

"As always. I'm not sick, I'm at healthy weight, exercising…" she paused looking to people still eating, "I'm actually really hungry but I'm fine and you have no reason to come home."

"Oh," he retorted bruised. It was as if she was perfectly content being away from him, that unsettled him. "You don't want me to come home?"

Biting her lip, she thought over her response. "Not if you quit school."

She desperately wanted to answer differently but if she did, Jacob wouldn't hesitate to come home.

Jake on the other hand, had great aversion to her reply but he didn't feel the need to draw attention to that. "Well, I'm swamped but I have Thanksgiving week off."

Reflexively, she thought about food. " Mmmm…Turkey sounds so good."

"Wanna hear something?"

"Sure, shoot," she reacted, kicking at the dirt beneath her feet.

"I miss you."

Uncontrollably, Ness smiled. Sometimes she wondered if he was lying to her, but she knew better than to doubt Jacob and he said it so often she automatically believe that statement to be true. Although, the entire situation with her dad poked at her. If ke kept the truth fro her then, maybe he would hold truth from her now. Especially if he was trying to make her feel better about his absence, his ethics said to lie. He made most his decsions on morals. He even felt the need to tell Edward about her so called active sex life. Some gear in her head turned. She could feel the roatary click. Was it anger annoyance, betrayl? She was not sure. Trust was supposed to be cared for like a fragile vase, but once it was broken, you may be able to put it back together, but it will never be the same. There will be cracks and missing pieces.

For Ness however, it wasn't very difficult stay irritated with him. Even if she felt a strong trust for him, he still lied, even if it was once.

Very stupidly and without thought she countered in a teasing way,"Tell me something I don't know. Is that all you wanted to say?"

"No, I wanted to tell you I'm having a meeting with the athletic director and someone from the NCAA so I can transfer."

"Where?"

"University of Washington."

"With Embry?"

"Yeah I'll be a U-Dub Husky but not until next year, this is their quarter backs last season, so they're seeing if I."

Ness snapped, "Why not now?"

"Ness I can't just up and leave."

"You up and left to Oregon."

Shaking his head in disbelief, Jake sighed. She wanted him to leave, she wanted him to go. Why was she now putting blame on him for his leaving? Once again, it proved her immaturity to him.

" I have to prove to the NCAA people that I'm taking my schooling seriously, I have to keep my GPA up and keep focused on football."

"What about _me_?" she complained, "You haven't even visited once since August, it's been almost three months."

"I'm doing all this for _you_."

"_Are_ you?" she accused him, as if him going to college for her was a lie. However, she did not know why she was suddenly so angry. Perhaps it was the fact that, even if Embry had a similar schedule to Jacob, she had seen her best friend's best guy friend more in the last month than she's seen the father of her child. And whether or not she wanted to admit it, she was upset he had lied and it dpressed her to feel as if she was doomed to raise this baby alone.

"No shit," he replied at her lashing out, "What the hell's your problem?"

Completely out of no where, her mind went to the conversation she has with Claire. "Jake, what if I got pregnant by someone else?"

"You didn't."

"I know, don't doubt that this baby is once hundred percent yours but, but what if I did?"

His tone was softer than before. "Then he better fucking take care of you or I'll beat the shit outta him."

"Would you still be my friend if some other guy knocked me up?" she wondered sadly.

"What are getting at?"

"I don't know, it was just a thought I had."

"You'll always be my friend, no matter what, I'm here for you."

"But the fact is that the guy wants nothing to do with me, my baby would need a dad."

" I'd be the father. I'd take care of you whether or not that's my baby."

She knew her hypothetical question wsa ridiculous but she wanted to know. But when he said he'd take care of her no matter what, she almost broke down crying. "I'm sorry, I am being stupid!"

"What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know?" she said leaning against a tree far from the base of the bon fire, " Hormones?"

Jake chuckled knowing, that was probably the case. "I love you Ness."

At that she straightened her posture. What was she to say? After all this, did their ' I love you's' hold the same meaning they did before she got pregnant? Or was her maybe liking her more than a friend? Not knowing how to reply, she asked, "When do you think, I can see you?"

"I'm not sure? Hopefully sooner than Thanksgiving."

"I pay my own phone bill ya know?" Embry shouted from yards away.

"I better go," she informed Jacob, " I don't want to use up all Embry's minutes."

"Alright, tell everyone I say hi."

"Will do," she promised as Embry stalked closer to her with his hand out and a stupid grin on his face. " Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"Phone?" Embry asked, with his hand in front of her, palm up.

Right before she handed it over the cell, she said, "Bye. I Love you Jake."

She stepped away, usure if her I Love You meant anything more than his might have. They usede to say I love you all the time but, things were different, but he was still her friend afterall.

+A week Later+

(20 weeks, 6 days)

By now Renesmee's entire physical education knew abouther pregnancy, as well as the school. Claire informed her that most people didn't speak about it, but her fellow peers sure as hell stared. However over the past years, she's developed a thick skin and their staring or questions didn't bother her so much any longer. What bothered her most, is that she had not seen Jacob in so long.

In the school's miniture weight room, Ness sat on an exercise ball doing bicep curls with a small five pound weight. She sat facing Seth and Brady, who were setting up to start their bench press reps. This was their daily routine, except when they ran the track and she got to either walk or sit on the bleachers. Right now the techer had stepped out on them to retrieve the sheet of paper he had to take roll, and he ordered everyone to get started on todays activities. All did except the three other girls in this class. Charlene, Jessica and Lauren.

Ness heard Charlene say her name once, which instigated her to listen in on their conversation. When she turned to give a dirty look, they started talking about other inappropriate subjects that happened at a party that weekend but quickly the conversation turned to sex. Ness couldn't help but over hear with the pitch these idiots were speaking at.

"Oh my god, he was bigger than normal," Charlene bragged.

"Big?" Jessica squealed with to much enthusiasm.

"Huge."

"Was he good?"

"He was, the best I ever had."

"Better than Embry?"

Nessie's ears perked up when she heard them speak about her friend.

"Not better, different. Jacob was rough, yet gentle, full of anger, no passion, whereas Embry was more giving, like he savored it."

Qucikly Ness sat up, kicking out the ball from beneath her feet and dropping the five pound weight to the rubber floors. She noticed that perhaps she oved to rapidly since her head started spinning but she was not about to let Charlene lie about having sex with Jacob Black. Ness waddled her way over to the other side of the room and stood directly infront of the blonde whore.

"You never slept with Jacob Black," Nessie arrgued with her arms folded across her chest.

Charlene smiled a half smirk, knowing this was egging her on. "Not that it's any of your business, but actually I did, a few times actually."

"You only need to say actually once," Ness corrected.

"Are you here to correct my grammar or just be freaking annoying?"

Suddenly, Renesmee's tone became determined and harsh. "I'm trying to get it through your delusional mind that Jacob does not like you, he never has."

"Then why would he take me whenever he could?" she questioned then pointed to her belly, " What do you even care? You're having Alec's kid?"

By now Nessie's finger nails were digging into the skin on her biceps. She tried very hard not to become so angry, it was not healthy for the baby but when it came to Jacob, something took over her. Something austere and violent. Ness felt the need to hurt her, because it might have been the only way to make this slut understand Jacob did not give a fuck about Charlene, he cared about her and their child,.

"Oh is that this week's rumor?" she retorted, "Last I heard Nahuel knocked me up. Make some space in that tiny brain of yours, so you can retain the information I'm about to give you, I'm not pregnant with Alec's kids, or Nahuel's kid, I'm not pregnant with a teacher or some random guy from Seattle. Did you get that? Can you repeat that for me?" She exclaimed. At this time, everyone in their class was listening, and unknown to Ness's knowledge, Brady and Seth were standing behind her. She continued her rant with the greatest disdain, "No? Did you already forget what I said? Probably, but try to remember this, Jacob doesn't like you, get over him already."

Charlene stood there speechless and confused for a good second, before she countered back with that stupid leer. "Oh, that's so cute, you like him. Hate to tell you this honey but you're not his type."

"_Really_?" Ness exagerated with a threatening glare while she cocked her head. Bringing her arms from her biceps, she could feel the fingernail marks in her skin but she ignored the stinging and craddled her belly, "Who do you think did this to me?"

"Yeah right," Charlene scoffed, in the most unbelieveable way.

Her expression gave Ness grave satisfication. All these years of Charlene starting rumors of not only herslef but other people, and for once Ness set her straight. No it wasn't in her to shout and argue but she ahd to defend Jacob. She informed, "In case you can't recall, Jacob did ditch you on prom night, for me."

"Mmm," Charlene purred, " so he had sex with me? Then you later on."

"No," Ness replied violently. Her voice even cracked, "and I wish you wouldn't lie about sleeping with him."

"Honey, I'm not."

"Quite fucking calling me honey and quite fucking saying you slept with him because you didn't!" She shouted. Seth then placed his hand at her shoulder but she smacked his hand off.

Charlene then recited, "Renesmee, I did. He likes his ear nibbled and he likes it rough and for your information, _Honey_, if he wanted you he'd be dating you. I mean he's had all these years to ask you out and he hasn't done it yet and he's not going to, because you doesn't see as more than a friend, he can't see as more than a piece of ass. Just like any other guy. But Jacob got exactly what he wanted and a little fuck trophy," she patted Renesmee's belly and proceeded, "to prove his conquest has been conquered. Now, he's done with you."

Then Ness did something she never thought she would do. She took a steady step closer to Charlene, curled her fist and hit her eyesocket dead on. Charlene stumbleed back and just at Ness went to swing at her again Seth interupted.

"NESS!" Seth shouted, pulling her back. She felt adrenaline course through her veins and not only her heart pulsate but if it was possible she felt the baby's too.

Seth and Brady held both her arms, restraining her from doing any further damage. She tried to kick at her but they halled her back. Ness shouted the obligatory comments, every other person on campus wanted to . Before she knew it, Charlenes retaliated and suckerpunched her right in the left jaw.

Ness moaned.

Seth let go of Nessie's arm and yelled while pushing Charlene back, "What the hell is wrong with you! Hitting a pregnant women!"

"She hit me," she replied holding a hand over her eye.

"Who gives a fuck!" Brady shouted, "you want to get even, rat her out like the chicken shit you are."

Seth and Brady forced Ness outside and told the coach that she wasn't feeling well, that she nearly fainted and hit her face against the equipment. He then sent her to the office with Seth's help. While he informed the nurse about her "fainting" spell, she was not allowed to drive home on her own, so her mother came and picked her up. Surprisingly, Charlene did not tell on her, like she presumed.

As soon as Ness sat in the car, instantly she was interogated by her mother. "Renesmee, what happened?"

"I fainted," she lied, waiting for her mother to start the car.

Bella sat there,with a brow raised high.

Ness didn't want to lie to her mother, so she admitted, "I got in a fight."

With wide eyes her mother retorted, "Why?"

"This girl said-" she paused not wanted to repeat what Charlene had said, "she was making comments about me being pregnant. Then she touched my stomach and I just hit her."

"Did you apologize to her?"

"No and I'm not going to," she responded stubbornly.

"Sweetie, you can't carry this around with you. Especially now, you can't be stressed in your condition."

"I just want to quit school and work. I need to work, I need money."

"Renesmee, I want nothing more than you to graduate with your class."

"Then I'll go on home school or-"

Bella cut her off. "You're staying in school."

"But-"

"No and that's final. Once you have the baby, maybe I'll reconsider."

The drive to her small duplex modular home, went by slower but just a quietly as she wanted, until her mother spoke up, " Come home Ness."

"No. I don't want to be around that man you married."

Her mother sighed sadly. "He misses you."

"I don't care, he asked me to get rid of my baby. Jake's baby."

"Ness, he," she pulled up to her daughter's house and cut the engine, " your father overreacts we both know that. He trusted Jacob so much with you and Jacob broke that trust."

"Dad broke trust with me, he had Jake spy on me."

" I didn't know about that, and I chewed him out for it but he feels awful about everything that happened and what he said to you and to Jacob for that matter."

"Then he'll come and apologize in person. And he should feel horrible, he kicked me out."

"That's one of the reasons I came here. You're dads being so difficult but he feels bad and he has a few surprises for you."

"What? He found a family to adopt my baby?"

Bella nodded her head no and pulled a black American Express from her purse.

"What's that?" Ness asked.

"Daddy is still upset but he got you a credit card with a higher limit than the other I gave you, so he knows you're taken care of."

Ness reluctanlty retrieved it and rummaged through her purse to give back the other credit care, she had yet to use. "What's the other surprise?"

"You'll see it's coming later."

Bella leaned over and hugged her daughter too tightly. " I miss you Renesmee. I haven't seen you in forever."

"I have rent to pay mom, I work and I go to school."

"I know baby and I'm proud of you, you know that?" she asked, hugging her daughter to death again. "Okay, try to have a calm day please. Oh shoot I better get back to work."

"Bye mom."

"Bye Renesmee."

Ness got out of the car and stepped up the dilapidating wood deck. It creaked with each step and she put her keys into the door, Bella shouted from the car, "Daddy and I will get your car tonight alight?"

Ness noded and stepped into the home. Ness did not know what to think about Charlene's words, one comment stuck with her. If Jacob liked her, he would have already asked her out by now.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Was it good? The drama is just heating up. I'm getting so excited for the next chapter. Can you guess why? Alright, Ness is kinda pissed at Jacob. She believes Charlene but, she partially still trust Jacob. Also someone thought it might be a good idea to see Jacob's dorm life and I agree. I forget who it was but I wanted to thank you because we needed to see more of Jacob's point of view. Any-who, the quotation partains to Renesmee. She'll never be able to have a successful relationship if she can not trust Jacob and as of now, she reallt doesn't. Also I think my timeline is off? DOes anyone want to figure it out for me. I'm being lazy. I just had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled and I'm drugged out, so if this chapter makes no sense. I apologize and I will re-edit next week. I hope you liked this chapter, because I really did. Now reviews get previews and I hope to get a lot. Hopefully, if you do so, I can update by Monday or Tuesday. Hint, hint...Wink, wink. If you have any questions, review 'em and I will reply, I think most of you know I'm pretty good at replying. OKAY I love you guys!

**Thanks to:** KaylahLily, theavidreader4life, anita11, UnstopableArcricVamp, endlesslove1202, soccersteph619, jasper-emmett-lover, Pattyheartcake, aaaaaaaa, roxy, Jacob's Nessie, DelSan 13, TatianaTalissa, lena0123, JUSTaDAMNbook , gh0stwriter, luv2beloved, Efficient Vixen, nfanpepsi, Tashay789 , beautifulmonsters , nj11, dkgors, csfla -jrflgirl, wolfgirl1973, bookworm26, MioneWriter007, Sarah and I know I am missing someone, please let me know if it was you and I will give you a special preview. ALso thanks a million to my anon's. I greatly appreciate all your support.


	22. Open Book

**A/N**: Remember that this story is rated M, and there is cursing. Get used to it. I personally don't talk this way but sometimes I do think this way, so I'm sorry if I offended anyone. Happy reading!

* * *

"_You can't undo anything you've already done, but you can face up to it. You can tell the truth. You can seek forgiveness. And then let God handle the rest."_

**Chapter TWENTY TWO -Open Book-**

(20 weeks 6 days)

That afternoon Renesmee's time at the physical therapist office went by slower than usual. She could not focus on anything, she answered the phones frazzled, misfiled the medical records and could not pay attention to anything the physical therapist was attempting to teach her. He scolded her but she blamed her disorientation on her so, called, fainting spell from earlier on that day. It was after all, partially true. Her boss let her off the hook, but she kicked herself knowing how lucky she was to have such an opportunity. Not many high school students, recieved an on the job type of training. Yes, she was considering becoming a physical therapy assistant, but today she was not goal oriented. The only thought in her head was Jacob and Charlene being together.

Internally, she tried to disprove Charlene's words but everything the girl said was true. If Jacob liked her, he would have asked her out years ago, and they would have had sex long before they did. Jacob and Ness had that open line of communication, at least she assumed they were that close and honest with one another. But then there was that one dishonest thing he had done. Ness had shaken the thoughts from her brain in advance, before she got herself riled up and angry at Jacob over something that may not even be true. Ness knew, they were honest with one another and he would have spilled the truth long ago_. Wouldn't he? Wouldn't he have told me if he liked me? Do I like him? Did he screw Charlene?_

There was one comment that Charlene spoke of, that was hammered into Ness. She told a secret that pregnant teen thought only she knew. During their time together, Jacob informed Ness that he liked his ear nibbled, just as Charlene said. She also declared, that Jacob liked his sex rough. When Ness thought back to their special night, he did start out rough with her, until he found out she was virgin. Then he slowed down, held her as if she was fragile and he drank her in slowly, sensually, like a fine wine. Heedlessly, Ness grinned recalling how wonderful he was to her that prom night. The same night he was allegedly with the blonde slut. Yet again, Ness felt herself distrust Jacob and she feared that she'd doubt his word from here on out. He had already betrayed her trust in the hugest way, why wouldn't he do it again?

Because Nessie's car was at school, she got a ride to work from her grandmother and then she had to wait for her mother to pick her up. Bella chatted her ear off about the baby, her birth plan and of course her eating habits. Usually, she'd ask her mother questions and be genuinely interested, but after todays events, Ness was not in the mood for any bull shit. But unexpected events, never failed her.

The second she got home, her father was casually leaning against her Volvo. The sight of him made her want to vomit. She couldn't believe how livid she was with her father still. As she prepared herself to step from the car, she adjusted her scrubs then sent her mother a warning glare that said, "Don't say a damn word." Bella took her daughter's warning and remained inside the car.

Nervously, Ness slammed the car door shut, stepping closer to her father.

Holding the keys out for her, he harshly said, "Renesmee, I want you to understand something-"

"Thanks," she cut him off, snatching the keys from his hands and walking straight past him without eye contact. Hurriedly, she unlocked the front door and went inside her home.

Renesmee knew her father well, and he was not there on his own accord. Her mother persuaded him in some way, because if Edward Cullen was going to apologize he did it with the greatest sincerity and when he felt guilty, he offered gifts and things. His guilt was why he got her a credit card. She wondered if his presence was the surprise her mother was speaking of earlier.

Ness waited out her parents. Once she was sure they had left, she wrapped a warm jacket around herself and took a stroll down the gravel driveway to collect mail from her mailbox. Ness jumbled through the letters, junk mail and bills. She found her first cell phone bill. Even if her mother offered to keep her on their cell phone plan, Ness decided to get her own contract. She hoped it proved her independence to her father.

Sitting at the red suede loveseat, Nessie opened her bills and started tallying up the total. The small coffee table she found at a yard sale, for the reasonable amount of ten dollars, had vanished under the scattered bills. Instantly, she began to feel overwhelmed. Ness ransacked through her oversized purse, collecting the credit card her mother had given to her earlier that day. She swore she would never use the damn thing, but she was tempted.

For a few minutes, she sat on the couch with the card in hand and her vision blankly gazing at the black screen of the television, she had to set on the floor. Placing the credit card on the coffee table, Ness pulled out her laptop from beneath the sofa, to check her bank account. She plugged in the internet stick and paid the bills she could pay online. She sighed knowing she could save money not having internet, but it was easier for her to pay her bills online. She paid the electricity, her cell and internet. Sighing, she offered to pay her percentage of the landlords gas bill, even though Billy worked out that it be included in the rent. On top of all this, she was low on groceries and she knew her car was on empty.

Pulling out her cell, she called Forks outfitters, where she took a second job at the Deli counter. Luckily, they sympathized with her and her pregnancy, so she got to sit on a stool a majority of the time, to stay off her feet. That Friday evening they did not need her but they offered her Sunday evening and she took the available shift. She needed the extra cash, for she only had a forth of her rent saved up for the month. She sighed. She had only been here six weeks and she was already behind.

Ness tiredly finished her homework and got up to get a snack. Before she knew it, Ness had eaten and entire box of Cheeze-It's. While she sat there, and went over her bills again, her cell phone rang. Taking the cell in her hand, Nessie felt her heart quicken and the baby quickening also. It was Jacob.

She did not trust her mood, so she answered cautiously, "Hello?"

"Open the door," Jake ordered.

Without a thought, she moved to the front door and swung it open. The sight left Ness, winded. In front of her was her Jacob with a back pack strapped to his back and his arms stretched out wide prepared for a hug. Too quickly, she lapsed into his caramel eyes and part of her was so ecstatic, that she wanted to scream and cry, embrace him and kiss him. However, the only thing that had been on her mind the entire day since this morning's fight, was the thought of Charlene and Jacob in a bed fucking each other's brains out.

Being the inflexible, immature girl she was she slammed her cell shut and probed unenthusiastically, "What are you doing here?"

The grin on his face fell and his vision dropped to her expanded belly. He couldn't believe how big she had gotten in the last months. The photos he had did not compare to the reality of her beautiful body. "Your mom called me," he said, then looked at the graying bruise on her face, "What happened?"

Ignoring his question, she decided to question his about his honesty. "Do you often talk to my parents over the phone without my knowledge?"

"Your mom called _me_. Now, what happened? Who the hell hit you?" he wondered, skimming the back of his thick knuckles against her bruised jaw. He hated seeing that she was harmed in any way. He didn't know someone hit her. When Bella had called him this morning, he thought she was joking about Ness getting into a fight but when she told him about it he did not hesitate to come home. She was clearly distressed in some way and he need to comfort her, that was his duty.

Collecting his hand, she pulled it from her face and asked, "How'd you get here?"

"By plane," he started with humor, but he could tell Ness was not in the mood. "You're mom called this morning said she had a ticket voucher and your dad already put it in my name so, I decided to fly out here. Now what the hell happened?"

Ness stepped further into her home, allowing Jacob to follow. "I got into it with your girlfriend."

"I don't have a girlfriend," he said, closing the front door shut.

He studied the small living room, it was his first time seeing the place. It was the perfect size for a small family. Before he had anymore thoughts Ness retorted sharp and accusing, "Oh no? Charlene isn't your main squeeze?"

Jacob's head snapped up from inspecting the hard wood floors, he strode towards her and ran his fingers through her hair and let his knuckles run across her cheek again. "She did this to you?"

Ness felt herself melt as he touched her, she felt appeased by his meer presence but she would not give in. She was peeved with him, because she assumed what Charlene had said earlier that day was true.

"I hit her first," she admitted favorably, removing his hands from her face. As she said those words, he thought he saw a smirk come across her face for a brief second.

Suddenly, his face turned condemning. Renesmee recognized this expression, but the last time she's seen it was on prom night, when he thought she had sex with Nahuel. Pulling the bag from his back, he set it on the couch and irately reprimanded her, "Ness why would you do that? You're pregnant you could have gotten worse than this bruise."

Ness sank to the tiny red couch. Unable to look at him, she responded, "She said you're not attracted to me, that you used me and got what you wanted and this baby is proof."

"That's the furthest from the truth," he replied sitting next to her. His weight caused the sofa to sink in, bringing her closer to him. She shifted away from him, but he wanted to touch her, to hold her. He wanted to lay his hands on the flesh of the woman that held his child.

Jacob rubbed her back. "Nessie, she only said those things to upset you. She's, been jealous of you since, forever."

" What's there to be jealous of? Is it because I live on my own and have no rules?" As Ness stood up and ranted while pacing the floors. Jacob looked over at the scattered bills across her coffee table. "Perhaps, it's the fact that I can't afford to eat three square meals a day because I pay my rent, so I don't live on the street? Or-or is it because I haven't graduated yet? Maybe she's jealous that the school sees me as a bigger slut than her? All that plus I'm huge."

He brought himself to his feet. She continued pacing until he stepped infront of her, and placed his warm hands around her elbows. "I know," he replied as a giant smile spread across his face," You've gotten so big, but our baby's in there." His palms settled on her swollen stomach but he remembered that since she found out about the pregnancy, she did not like to be touched so personally. Just as he went to pull his large hands away from her pregnant belly, Nessie's hands covered his own pressing his hands firmer to her stomach. She was hoping, the baby would kick now that Jacob was here, but she felt nothing.

With great disappointment, Ness stepped away and made her way to the kitchen to hopefully, find something to eat. Jacob followed, saddened that she had yet to seem happy about his arrival. She hadn't even looked him directly in the eye since he stepped through the door.

As she rummaged through a cabinet, she mumbled, "Of all people for Charlene to be jealous of, it wouldn't be me. She apparently got her chance at you. And I'm eighteen and pregnant. Not married. I mean who's gonna wanna date an eighteen year old mother?"

"What does she got a chance at you, mean?" Jake wondered.

Closing the cabinet, Ness slowly turned her head to him and finally, looked into his eyes with great intent. "Did you sleep with her?"

Their eyes stayed connected. Ness rotated. Her firm abdomen pointing at Jacob. Tensely, Jake stiffened and Ness fidgeted with her fingers as she questioned, "Did you sleep with Charlene?"

Jacob averted his eyes to the linoleum of the kitchen floor and she waited for his answer. But him looking away from her, gave her the answer. His expression told all. When he lifted his head and his sight met hers, Jacob's eyes were pleading for mercy. His eyebrows hooded in shame.

"Y-you, you slept with Charlene," she stuttered. Her breath hitched. " CHARLENE!" she scrame charging past him and back into the living room. Jacob trailed her, unsure what he should say.

Standing in the middle of the living room, Ness held her hands over her burning eyes. Why did she want to cry? What the hell did she care that he fucked some whore?

"Ness say something."

Pulling her hands from her face, Ness shouted, "You know how stupid I looked yelling at her, telling her she needed to stop lying about sleeping with you? I fucking hit her Jake! Who else? Who, else have you been with?"

This was a conversation he was always afraid of having with her. However, he needed to be honest. He took a deep breath and said, "Just you, Leah, Charlene and that girl from the Makah Res."

She wanted to smack him across the face, but she already had a physical fight today. She clenched her fists at her side and in a cruel condescending way she countered, "And you had the nerve to call me an easy lay? You fucking hypocrite."

Jacob ran his hands through his short hair. He felt guilty, but she did not know his reasons or the state of mind he had been in all the times, he has had sex with other women. And he already apologized for calling her an easy lay months ago, when he found out how pure she really was. "Ness we've been through all this, I already apologized for that."

Ness picked up his heavy back pack, and handed it to Jacob. "I don't want you around me or near my baby."

His jaw hit the floor, in shock. "What?"

"You lied to me, again," she bellowed, pointing a finger at her chest, "I will not be that girl. I won't be lied to."

"Oh, _you're_ the victim?" he demanded, tossing his bag to the floor. His tone as loud and blunt as hers. "The girl who has the full support from the father of her child."

"No," she whispered, "I won't be the girl who sits here and allows some guy who fucked her and impregnated her, to act any way he pleases only because he says he supports her."

"I'm just some guy to you? Just some guy that fucked you?"

"No, you're a liar and my child will not to be raised by a liar."

"I never lied to you about a thing," he growled.

"First you spied on me for my dad and I, I thought I was over that, but I guess not. Do you have a girl up in Oregon too?" As she spoke, Jacob could see the tears form on the rims of her beautiful eyes. He never intended for his return home to be like this.

"No. And I didn't lie, I just…" he paused, begging God to senf him the right words, "I didn't tell you."

Foolishly, he pointed a finger. " It took you a whole week to tell me you were dating Nahuel."

"Don't try to turn anything around on me. I did hesitate to tell you about him, but eventual I did tell you and you heard it from me, not the horse's mouth."

"I couldn't take the chance at you being upset with me, I just didn't know how you'd take it "

SHe rubbed her eyes, and attempted to swallow the giant lump in her throat. "I don't think I'd be this angry if you told me yourself."

Ness caressed her belly. Jacob watched, it looked like she was harboring a small round throw pillow. He thought she looked so beautiful, protruding belly and all. In his opinion, she was still on the smaller side, but a girl her size could only expand so much. By just looking at her, he remembered every detail of how Renesmee became that way. How he wished to relive that night, and recreate the moment they concieved their child. He admired her changing body, and the reason for it's altering stired something inside him. He was drawn to Renesmee, just as he always was. Only, the expected father did not realize he could be just as attracted to Ness pregnant.

While he thought these things, he absent mindedly said, "Being with her was a mistake. A stupid, drunken mistake."

Ness noticed, he was lost and gazing sharply at her. She could not read the contortion upon his face.

Holding her tummy, she spat bitterly, "'You tend to make lots of mistakes huh?"

"Ness don't act this way," he pleaded.

"Go away," she murmured, looking down at their mistake. A mistake, she again, was not sure if she was emotionally prepared to keep.

"Ness-"

"Get out of my damn house!" she yelled.

Jacob stood his ground. "NO."

"Then I'll go," she informed stepping outside the front door and slamming it shut, causing the entire house to rattle.

Realizing her car keys were inside, Ness paced around the deck, or waddled until she sat at the top step. SHe had to put great effort into sitting on the spot that was still damp from the last rain, but she was so upset she did not care. It was getting cold and the sun was setting turning the sky orange, but she couldn't go inside and face Jacob. She was ashamed of the thoughts she were having. She thought she felt at peace with having the baby, but now she was frightened again. Wiping a stray tear away, she knew she had not had a minute to think of the baby, not wholly anyways. How was all this going to work out for her? For Jacob? As if all these questions did not confuse her enough, she did not understand why the news of her best friend having sex with another woman bothered her so much.

Jacob let her be for a few minutes, then he stepped outside with a small black paperbox in his hands. He stepped down the splintering treds of the steps and leaned himself against the railing.

As he spoke he set the paperbox on the decks railing. "I know I've made mistakes. From here on out I'm being completely honest, I swear it. We have to be honest with one another, if this is going to work. So whatever you want to know, I'm an open book."

Renesmee tried her hardest not to look at him. She stared at her car that was half way parked under the carport, it irritated her that her father parked her car that way. Then she gazed the shiny new rental car Jacob drove here as she thought of a question to ask Jake.

Ness did not move her head, but her eyes panned up at him through her eye lashes. "It wasn't just one time was it?" she examined about Jacob's sexual activity.

Jake's jaw tightened. His head moved right to left.

"How many times did you sleep with her?"

"I never counted Ness."

"Guess," she barked.

In frustration Jacob growled and his head snapped back. He looked up at the sky, and surrounding trees, counting. "At least five times, maybe more," he said under his breath.

Ness changed her position. The hard wood of the porch was doing a number on her spine. "When's the last time you slept with her?"

Reluctantly, Jake answered, "Probably about, a few weeks before prom."

"She said you did it on prom."

"No, we, we did stuff but no sex."

"In your bed? In a hotel room? In your car? Where?"

"Ness I don't want to go into details." The details embarrassed him, the truth made him seem like a horny bastard.

"I want to know," she begged. She didn't even know why, but she felt she needed to know.

"Never my bed, hell never in a bed. She's never even been to my house."

"Where then?"

"Renesmee please-"

"I need to know."

"Why?" he complained.

Ness saw that he was in pain talking about this, and she was glad. "I just do."

"From what I remember it was usually in her car or against a car."

Ness for the first time was jealous of Charlene. Why didn't Jacob ever want to take her up against a car or in the back seat of his Rabbit?

"She doesn't mean a thing to me," Jake said. Renesmee did not feel the desire to respond.

Jacob grabbed the paper box, and sat Nest to Ness on the stairs. "Why do you think I slept with you?"

"I have no clue? Do you know, how embarrassed I was when you walked outta the hotel room? It was like I repulsed you, then you came back so, I presume you were in it for sex. Nahuel did just break up with me and you always know how to make me feel better after a break up."

"And us…us being together made you feel better?"

"I got to prove to you that I wasn't the school slut, that made me feel better."

"I wish you would have told me you were a virgin."

"I waited for you to ask, but you never brought it up. Every time I saw you, I wondered, 'Does he believe those rumors?' It really sucked to find out you trusted someone else's word instead of just asking me."

"I'm sorry, I thought I'd save ourselves an embarrassing conversation"

Sadly, Ness smiled. "If I did tell you, you wouldn't have had me."

"'No, I wouldn't have, but it's done Ness."

"Yeah," she said patting her belly. But then she went and asked what was on her mind. "I saw you at prom with Charlene you looked like you had a good time with her."

Jacob's stomach dropped, his gut turned. He wouldn't give her the details about prom night. He couldn't understand why she wanted to know. Albeit, it wasn't sex he still had his so-called happy ending. It distracted him from her being with Nahuel that night.

"I was saving face at prom. Do you know how disappointed I was that we didn't get to go together? Or, how much it upset me that, we hadn't had a real conversation in weeks? Did you know I only went because you're dad asked me to keep an eye on you? Anything I've ever done was for you. Everything I do is for you," he replied, bruised.

Instead of commenting on his statement, she said, "You had sex with Charlene, you must have some feelings for her."

"Not really," he restoorted sharply, "we fucked that's it. I didn't love her."

"Oh and you loved me?" she mocked.

"Yeah, I've always loved you."

"Platonically."

"We're a little more than platonic Ness."

"No we really aren't."

"Actually, Renesmee since were being honest," he began and took her tiny hand in his, "I'm in love with you."

She stared at him, with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. Her heart sped up then slowed. She almost believed him. "You're such a liar," she chuckled, " You don't love me."

His hand slipped away from hers. Offendedly, he said, "Don't ever say I don't love you, because I do. I always have."

"I love you too Jake but just because we're best friends, and we love one another, then we happen to have sex and get pregnant, doesn't mean we're in love."

"Well I'm in love with you," he admitted gazing straightly ahead into the line of trees on her side yard.

It was one extreme from the next. Renesmee did not know how to digesst this new information. She thought he had feelings for Charlene, but he's sitting here confessing his love for her? She was confused and flattered but Jacob was self righteous, he'd do anything to make things right. He'd say things to make her feel better, and apparently lying is a habit he had. Renesmee did not feel the need to poke at the subject. She needed time to think about this. After all that happened between them, were his words true? If they were, why had it taken him so long to tell her?

Ness changed the subject. "So Leah, Charlene and me. What did the girl from the Makah Res look like?"

He released a humourless snicker. Grungingly, Jake answered, "Almost identical to Leah, same body, same hair, different personality, then again she had been drinking, I'd been drinking. People don't act themselves when they've had a drink or two. Each time I slept with Charlene, I was usually buzzed if not blitzed out of my mind. She went into it knowing I had no intentions to be with her."

"Did she?"

He shrugged. " I always told her, don't expect anything from me."

"Maybe we should have talked things over before -"

"We did, I said I wouldn't do it if our friendship was going to change."

"You're making it change when it doesn't have to," she spat, " Saying things like you're in love me. It's bullshit, and I can't believe you slept with her, you know how much I dislike her."

By now both were annoyed. But Jacob smirked when he said, "Ness you dislike every female I come in contact with."

"That's not true. I like Claire and Rachel."

" Because they're no competition for you. Come on, what's this shit about you not wanting me to date? "

Ness frowned. Did he think she was in love with him? Was that the impression she gave him when she asked him not to date? She redirected the comment. "Don't make this about me Jake, this is about you betraying me, you cheated on me. I don't know if I can be around you anymore and I don't think I can have my child raised by a father that keeps secrets from their mother."

"You would take my child away from because of this?" he interrogated her, coming to his feet, the paper box still in hand, "You can't keep pulling shit like this."

"Shit like what?"

"Threatening my child against me to get what you want. And how could I cheat on you?"

Ness held her mouth open, not knowing how to respond. Did she accuse him of cheating on her, when they were clearly not together?

She shrugged. "I don't know why I said that? To know that you were with other girls, upsets me, because it means what we did wasn't special, like I thought."

" It was special," Jacob said sitting closely at her side, "It wasn't a sleezy one night stand in a hotel room. It was more than that. I made love to my best friend, what's greater than that?" He wondered, wrapping his arms around Ness. She settled her face into the crook of his neck and inhaled his scent.

The two were silent for a long while. Ness felt at ease in his arms, she truly missed it. In this time she forgot about her bills and the bullshit. It was only her and Jacob, and the baby growing inside her.

Jacob felt overcome by the sense of, ownership he had over Renesmee and his scanned the sight of Nessie's pregnant belly. He was proud and he knew the fact that Renesmee was carrying HIS child. His emotions were a strange combination, of territorial, love, empathy, happiness, compassion and that pride was swelled a hundred times it's original size. Gosh, he already found her amazingly attractive, but he was not sure anything could be more beautiful than this. Again, the thoughts of their night love flooded his brain. He loved her so much, he felt things he never knew were possible. She had to feel it as well. SHe just had to.

"Tell me you felt it?" he asked, speaking of their night together.

"Felt what?" she mummbled.

Her answer let him down. She was oblivious to what she felt. He pulled away from Ness. The cold enveloping around her was dissappointing. _Why did he let go?_

"They were all distractions and Charlene were just distractions."

"From what?" she asked, watching him fumble and mess with the string around the paperbox.

"Stuff."

"What is that?" she questioned, pointing at the box he held onto since stepping outside.

"For you," he said handing it to her, "I wanted to get you something."

SHe took it. "What is it?"

"Open it," he urged.

Ness weighed the box with her hand. "It's heavy."

She unwrapped it, and brought her hand to cover her mouth. "Oh my gosh. Jake you shouldn't bring me presents every time you come home."

"I like to. I love to see your face when I give 'em to you."

She pulled the round flat pendent from box. A chain connected followed. In the middle was the indentation of a heart and the words, "Where there is Love, there is Life," bordered the rim. It was kinda cheesy but Renesmee loved it because Jacob always went out of his way to find special gifts for her, ever since she was fourteen.

"What does it mean?" she querried, curious as to the sayings meaning.

"I swore I was going to be honest from this point on. We made that baby together Ness. We made a life because we love one another and I'm going to marry you one day."

She was aggitated with him again. He had to be this ethic jerk. Did he mean these things, or was he yanking her chain?

"You're self-righteous, ya know that?"

"Maybe," he admitted with a cocky grin, " but I only want to be here for you and our baby. How's he doin by the way?"

She raised a brow, and gave him a smirk. "He?"

"Or she? Do we know yet?"

"Not yet. I was waiting to find out when you came home, but I think I want it to be a surprise. Is that okay?"

"Sure, sure."

"I thought maybe we could settle on a gender neutral name."

"We could do that. Are there any names you like?"

"Not particularly. Can you think of any?"

"Okay what about… Taylor?" he suggested.

"Eh, maybe Ryan or RY-Anne," she said admiring the necklance.

"I kinda like that. There's Dylan? That could work for a boy or girl."

"Yeah and there's Hayden, Reilly, Kai."

"Kai?" he repeated picking up the paper box and it's lid, "I like Kai."

"Are we settled on Kai?"

"Kai Black," he recieted, gazing off at the starry sky.

"Kai Cullen-Black."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, it's my kid too. Now help me up."

Carefully, he helped her to her feet. "We'll talk about it later."

"Thanks for this, it's really…was it expensive?" she wondered, stepping up the steps. Jacob cautiously, followed behind her making sure she did not fall backwards.

He shoke his head. "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter," she replied holding the necklace in the palm of her hand. She stretched her arm outward so Jacob would take it from her. " This is a thoughtful gift but you have to take it back. We have to save money."

"I can't, it's customized."

Renesmee flipped the silver pendent over, to read the inscription on the back. It said:

_To my Nessie,_

_I promise to always be_

_your best friend and a_

_provider for our family._

_Yours Always,_

_Jacob_

_Fuck, he's a charmer, _she thought.

He took the necklace from her hand and spun her around. Ness turned and moved her hair out of the way. From behind he clasped the ends together, then kissed her neck, and walked to the door.

"Jacob how much was this?" she asked, touching the spot he kissed her on her neck, and holding the pendent in the other hand.

"Don't worry about it," he said, guiding her inside the small home.

"Jacob Black! I will worry and I think I have the right to know."

"You do, but it wasn't too expensive."

" No more gifts for me. Unless it's for the baby, no more."

"Alright, I can do that," he nodded gazing around the living room, "I can see we have nothing for the baby yet."

"No, not yet."

Jacob, settled himself directly infront of Ness and hugged her, and she didn't hesitate to return the hug.

That evening, Jacob took her to eat. They spent the rest of the evening watching movies until Ness fell asleep on the couch. He woke her and told her to change so they could go to sleep. His flight left at noon the following day, and the sooner they went to bed, the more time they got to spend with one another the next morning.

Ness lied on the bed, uncomfortably on her side, face to face with best friend. She was so thankful that she was halfway through the pregnancy. Jacob, stripped down to his boxers, caressed her side, rubbered her belly and ran his fingers through her hair. He did what he could to relax Renesmee. He lied there, at her side, watching her breath and admiring her belly. He just couldn't get over the fact that he was having a child with this beautiful girl. Jake didn't stopp touching her once he assumed she was aslep, he merely slowed down.

When Nessie's voice cracked, he knew she was not asleep. "Our friendship has changed huh?"

"Yep," he said removing the hair from her face.

"Even so," she tiredly spoke, her eyes fluttering open, "you'll always be my best friend."

Slowly, she jutted her hand at him, grazing his cheek then she tapped the tip of his nose. " My Jacob."

"Am I forgiven?" Jake asked scooting closer towards Ness, "For everything I've done."

Nessie's eyes groggily closed. "If I said 'no.' I'd be lying. I know you never meant to hurt me."

"Never," he retorted, pressing his forhead to hers and setting his hand on her hip, "We both have to be honest from now on alright?"

"Yeah," she agreed in a murmur. They shouldn't have lies between them.

Jake smiled, knowing she was halfway asleep. He leaned closer and kissed her cheek.

That night, Ness felt pure contentment. The saddest thing was, she does not know this contentment, is called being in love. How is she to know what being in love was, when the feelings she had for Jacob had not changed since the first time she laid eyes on him? It was always love.

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**Author's second Note: **OKay OKAY, I always get lazy at the end and I'm sorry...tear. The quote is obviously about being truthful and hoping it goes well. NOW ANYWAYS**! **Guess what? I got 21 or 22 reviews for chapter 21, so I expect chapter 22 to have 22 reviews, 23 to have 23. And so on and so forth. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, I REALLY tried to update Tuesday, I really did, but I was not satisfied, so I scratched it and got this. I attempted to make things, choppy and uncomfortable, but I'm unsure of what this chapter really "feels" like. PLease infoem me on that. Oh well...I do hope you liked it. ALSO, I KNOW you guys have questions about Nessie's behavior etc, don't be afraid to ask them, YOU ALL KNOW I ANSWER and reply to reviews. Have a great day people! Oh and the picture of the necklace is on profile.

**Thanks to:** jazzyj, nj11, theavidreader4life, Dreamcatcher94, VaMpIrEoBsEsSed280, msr709, BrownEyesInControl, EfficientVixen, ChelseeaMaayx, dkgors, panajoia, addcleric, JUSTaDAMNbook, TwilightSy, SophieHadfield, MioneWriter007, Sarah, gh0stwriter, bookword26, Tashay789, nfanpepsi,lena0123, DelSan 13, luv2beloved, csfla -jrflgirl, thomabri, patty(heart)cake and all my anons. I appreciate your reviews and support. I love you guys.


	23. Nonplus

**A/N #1: (THIS IS A RE-EDIT) **This is not what I intended to originally post, I had much more but decided that the chapter would be waaaaaaaaaay to long. Okay here's a definition for you all. non•plus- (verb) to render utterly perplexed; puzzle completely. I named the Chapter Nonplus because that's the overall tone of this chapter. **ALSO**, I estimated Nessie's pregnancy is now at 21 weeks and it would only be the last week of October.

* * *

"We say we love flowers, yet we pluck them, we say we love trees, yet we cut them, and some people still wonder why some are afraid when they are told they are loved."

**Chapter TWENTY THREE - Nonplus -**

(21 weeks)

Waking the following morning, Jacob rolled out of bed trying his best not to wake a soundly sleeping Ness. He used the restroom and headed to the kitchen to get a drink of water. It was still dark out and Jacob figured it was only the middle of the night but the time on the stove clock said it was nearly four in the morning. Groggily, he strolled around the home, exploring. Overall, the home wasn't necessarily big but it wasn't small either. It was the perfect size for him, Renesmee and their baby. He blindly searched out the light switches to find that they only turned on if the room had a lamp plugged into the right socket. For this reason Jacob left the kitchen and bathroom light on so he could see into the empty bedroom. He stood in the that room for a while, imagining how it would be when they brought home Kai. Jacob gathered that the baby needed a crib, changing table, a dresser, maybe a rocking chair and off course a lamp. He had some money put away but he could only afford the affordable essentials. That pissed him off. His child deserved the best of the best and staying in school was the only way her could do that. He'd have to call his boss and ask for more projects at the shop. The more expensive the car, the more commission he made.

When he wandered into the living room, his eye caught the coffee table where Ness had her bills scattered across the oddly shaped table. It was clearly an antique but that was the last thing on Jacob's mind. After Ness and Jake returned from dinner, he caught her quickly trying to gather up her bills and hide them away somewhere in the kitchen. He stepped in the undersized kitchen and noticed it was pretty empty, but he had to find those bills. He went hunting for them and luckily they were in the first top drawer he opened. Jacob knew that after his argument with Ness last night, it was the stupidest thing to be snooping around, it was a violation of her trust. He felt a surge of guilt hit him, but he needed to make sure she was doing alright. He looked over the bills. All the ones that had been paid, had the amount due circled with the date and time it was paid. He was glad she was organized but there weren't as many bills as he thought she might have. On a small note pad he saw that she had paid everything besides her rent and she dedicated thirteen dollars for groceries and eleven for gas. Filling with a commiserating heat, Jacob ran his hand down his face, distraught. That wouldn't be enough to last her the rest of the month.

Carefully, he placed the papers back how he found them and left the notepad half open on top just like he found it. He went over to the fridge and opened it to find a carton of eggs, a nearly empty milk carton, juice, butter and packages of baby carrots. _Well at least she's eating healthy_, he thought. Reaching for the eggs he opened the box to find only one brown egg. _She can't afford to go organic_. He then opened the freezer door time find a frozen pizza, ice cream and ice. As he went over to open the tiny cabinet, he sighed heavily in a state of unhappiness. There was a package of granola bars and ramen noodles. The thought of his Nessie struggling disturbed him. He didn't want it to be this way, he wanted to be home, here, in this home taking care of the mother of his child. However, Ness was very right about him going to school and he had high hopes that his transfer request would come through and he could have Ness move to Seattle with him.

Tip-toeing into the bed room, Jake made sure not to wake a still sleeping Renesmee. Her mahogany, chestnut hair was gathered and bunched on the top of her head sometime in the middle of the night and her t-shirt fit snug,showing her small firm belly. Jacob caught himself gazing at her, still in awe at her beauty and at the fact that she was having his child. Sitting on the side of the bed he retrieved his jeans from his back pack, and pulled out the black leather wallet from his back pocket to see the amount of cash he had. He counted thirty seven dollars.

"Jake?" Nessie's shrill voice startled him, "What are you doing up?"

"I had to use the restroom."

She groaned some incoherent words and as he settled back into the bed, and beneath the sheets, she was already fast asleep.

A few hours later, Ness woke up having to use the restoom. As she came out of the bathroom, Jacob was already wide awake and suggesting they go to breakfast. They ate and stopped by Nessie's second work place to pick up some clothes for the baby. Ness happily allowed Jacob to pay because baby's clothing were cheap at Fork's Outfitters. They completed the morning back at Nessie's place, where she fell asleep, her head in Jacob's lap and her legs elevated up over the arm rest. Jake again found himself idly lost, gawking at her face and petting the top of her head. He loves her more than anyone man should love a women.

For Jacob, last night was a complete let down. All in all, Ness didn't even hint at the slightest concern about such a confession. She just didn't catch his drift. From what his father told him, her greatest concern was him, his education and his future. Billy even offered to buy plane tickets because he could tell the separation was killing Ness. Of course, Jacob declined but after the way Billy spoke of Renesmee's behavior, Jake supposed her feeling for him were stronger than he thought. He even went to the lengths to question his sister and Paul about how she reacted to his name. Rachel told him she'd either crumble and need to head home, or she'd smile uncontrollably and find a way to continue speaking about him. With all this information he gathered, the boy only assumed she was falling for him. Absence does make the heart grow fonder but she took his declaration as a joke. Jacob did not know how to respond to her response. He expected his visit to trigger emotions that Ness didn't even know she had for him. This disappointed him to say the least, but it only made him want to try harder to win her over and make her see that she was in love with him.

Breathing a heavy breathe, Jacob carefully picked up her head, so he could stand. He stood there noticing the strange position she was in. He chuckled and slide his hands beneath her body and lifted her to place in a more comfortable position. He could feel she had gained weight, and thought she could stand to gain some more. She was still much to small. The poor girl was so tired that this didn't disturb her from her slumber. Jacob knew he should leave early to make sure he didn't hit traffic on his way to Port Angeles but what were the odds of hitting traffic in this one star, under populated town? He decided he'd head out to pick up some groceries for Ness and get cash back so Ness had some extra money to burn.

Jacob's errands only took him thirty minutes and by now he had to leave if he was going to catch his flight.

Kissing Nessie's forehead, Jake whispered, "Bye baby."

She stirred, her eyes quivered open, to find Jacob towering over her.

Nessie's arm projected to his pant leg and she tugged. "Stay," she murmured.

"I can't Nessie, I left yesterday's game early to be here. I gotta get back before pre game warm ups this afternoon."

"I wasted our time together," she whined, thinking of how she had fallen asleep on her very soft and comfortable couch.

Rotating her head, she found that his package was in her direct eye line. _Stupid sex dream_. She thought she said it in her mind but Jacob heard, but to save her the embarrassment, he pretended not to hear.

Swiftly she moved her sight up. He was dressed, with his back pack strapped to his broad, bulging muscular back and her eyes zoomed in on his biceps. Agitated by this sudden lust and the stupid sex dream she was having about him, she focused on blinking the sleep from her eyes.

"You've been asleep for about a half hour which is fine," he said and watched her stretch out the kinks in her and rub her face, "because I planned to leave an hour ago."

He bent forward and pressed his very warm lips to her forehead and petted her head. "Go back to sleep, I'll be back before you know it."

"When?" she bellyached as if she were a five year old child.

"Next week," he informed adjusting the straps of his bag, " I have a four or five day weekend so I'll make sure I don't have to work."

"I have an appointment Friday."

"I'll be here to take you. Get some rest before you have work okay?"

"Wait what about Halloween? " she inquired still lying on her back, "Will you be home for Halloween?"

He crouched down, molly coddling her. "No," he cooed speaking to her like a lost little child, " I have classes and practice, but I get to come home next week, because I don't get Thanksgiving off and I'll be busy until Christmas."

"Oh," she muttered disappointed. She hasn't had a Halloween without him since she moved to Forks.

"I love you," he said, starting for the door, "Now, I gotta go."

"At least give me a hug," she begged with her arms outstretched towards him.

Jake smirked, then bent over to give her a hug. Dazedly, she moved to make as much as possible on the tiny sofa. He sat down and helped her to an upright position, so he could hold her correctly. His limbs swallowed her and covered her in a sense of serenity. Once they released one another, he took her flushed face in his burly hands. They leered at one another idiotically, and Ness giggled because he had yet to let go of her face. He chuckled as well, loving how her nose scrunched up when she giggled. The air was light and playful until Jacob's face turned serious. He could feel his pulse accelerate and Nessie could hear herself pant. What is going on?

"I'm gonna miss you," he said, removing his hands from her face and abstaining eye contact.

As he came to his feet, he was slightly tugged back down but he was standing straight. He could see that Renesmee had grabbed at the hem of his shirt. She replied not releasing his tee from her clutches. "I'll see you next week."

He smiled down at her and pressed his fingers through her tousled hair. She looked up at him, as if he were a great hero yet, her eyes were sad. He leant down again, pressing his lush lips to her forehead and cheeks repeatedly, in short chaste pecks.

"God, I'm going to miss you," he mumbled into her flesh.

Ness shyly smiled to herself while Jacob continued kissing her and fighting his urge to kiss her on the lips. She found it a tad unfitting but she liked how he was making a fuss over her. Not many guys acted like this with her and never has he acted this way with her before she was pregnant.

That struck her as the reason for his coddling. He only acted this way because she was pregnant. While she found this disheartening, she allowed him to continue kissing her. He was her best friend after all, and anything he did wasn't meant to be taken as anything more than platonic. She knew he lied about being in love with her, to make her feel better about their situation. Part of her expected him only saying such things so that he could get out of trouble for fucking a whore. She figured she wouldn't speak about it ever again and hopefully, he'd forget he lied to her about being in love with her.

Finally, as quick as a flash, Jacob swallowed any fear of rejection and kissed her on the lips. Quickly. Expressively.

Before she even had the chance to react, he pulled away and rubbed her belly saying, "I love you, have a good week alright?"

"Yeah. Love you," she replied, dumbfounded. _Did he just kiss me_? she thought.

"Bye Ness," he said, leaving her with a closed mouth smile. Then he stepped out the door.

She pressed her fingertips to her lips_. Did he just kiss me?_ she repeated in her head.

Ness got up and ambled her way through her house until she ended up in the kitchen. On the fridge she found random bills and note pinned up with a magnet. She pulled the magnet off, wondering where it came from. She read the note:

_Nessie, _

_In the fridge there's some groceries for the week and __seventy-seventy bucks to spend however you please. Love you see you next week._

_-Jake _

Blood boiled. Instantly, she gritted her teeth, seething. Why would he give her money? Why would he get her groceries? _Why the fuck would he kiss me? _Did she look like welfare? Did he really believe she couldn't handle anything on her own? The whole point of her living alone in her own personal hell hole, was to prove to her father that she was capable to be responsible and mature. But Jacob's heart was too big, he had too much compassion and he always showed his kindheartedness towards her. By now, she was balling her eyes out, sucking in air and shaking. She was pretty sure it was because she was completely angry with him for interfering with her personal life. If she only dug deeper into that chained and closed off heart of hers, she would find that she wasn't at all angry with him, but truly grateful for such a wonderful friend. For a man that owns up to his mistakes and embraces his repercussions with optimism. She should see that she was crying because like the blink of an eye, his visit was over.

Ness wiped her tears away and got ready for work. She hoped if she headed in early, they'd let her leave early. As she drove to Fork's Outfitters she found herself crying again. She was trying to figure out what was going on in Jacob's head_. _The whole Charlene incident tore her up inside. It certainly forced her to second guess everything Jacob said, especially the stupid words, "I'm in love with you." And why'd he have to act like big brother yet again, flying to her aid whenever she needed help? Couldn't he just treat her like some girl he knocked up? Some girl he could care less about until the baby was born. Now she saw that she not only had to prove to her father that she was independent but she had to prove it to Jacob. She never thought her and Jacob would have that type of relationship where you gave one another evidence of their characters. But he had to earn his trust again and she had to show him she was capable to function on her own.

That night, she called and chewed him out for leaving the cash and trying to support her. Her nonplus blow up was unexpected. Not wanting to be at the top of Nessie's shit list, Jacob paid close attention, only listening until she asked him why he didn't want to speak to her. Jacob was at a lost, however, he did not apologize. He only said, "I'm sorry that my wanting to help you out upset you." That comment, put him at number two on Renesmee's shit list.

Of course those words maddened the pregnant young lady further, which only caused her to burst into tears. On the other line, Jacob wasn't sure how to handle this new side of Renesmee. She wasn't known for being touchy about such frivolous things. He was sure it was all hormonal, and notified that it upset him when she cried. Not wanting to worry Jacob, she apologized about her freak out, in tears. He said he'd only accept her apology if she took the money. Grudgingly, she took the money but warned him to never to help her out that way again. She said she only desired his help with their little Kai.

(21 weeks 4 days)

The first thing Monday, Ness headed to the schools counselors office, requesting she be put on home schooling as soon as possible. Some people speculated that it was from her fight with Charlene, but truthfully Ness wanted more available time to work, save up money and not seeing her was an added bonus. Within a few months, she could earn her diploma weeks or even months ahead of her classmates. She saw this as her best option because that meant to could start college in the summer.

On Wednesday, this morning, Ness finished out a few classes. Against her mother's wishes she withdrew herself from school because she was given permission to continue her education at home. Every one of her friends went over to her house for lunch as a farewell then headed back to campus for their last two periods of the day. Ness hung around the house until her door bell rang. It frightened her because no one was not expecting a visitor, which meant it was either her landlord or a murderer. Ness peeked through the beige curtains her mother bought from Crate and Barrel when she first moved in. It was a UPS man with two large boxes. Frantically, Ness searched the house for a weapon of sorts in case he was a robber posing as a delivery man. _I'm so suspicious_, she thought as she retrieved a heavy metal flashlight from her closet. It was in situations like this, that she hated living alone. She wanted her Jacob.

Nervously, she answered the door and the man requested she sign for the packages. Ness swore there was a mistake, but her name was on both shipping tags. Once the delivery man placed them in the living room, Nessie's eyes widened in shock. It was a high chair and changing table from Ikea, the exact ones she showed Jacob's sister online.

Ness thought it'd probably be best to call Jake before he goes and surprises her with some similar gift. In disinterest, she called he. She wasn't sure why, but she wasn't up for speaking with him in the last few days and she found herself completely annoyed with his voice. Subconsciously, it was because she didn't like that Jake took their friendship a step further. She failed to see she partially at fault. She did have sex with him after all. Not only that, she was worried any conversation they held would lead to them having to further discuss this "being in love" business. But she stick to her plans to never speak of it.

"Hello?" Jacob answered, with a simultaneous yawn. He sounded exhausted.

"Hey," she replied plangently, " It's Ness are you busy?"

Jacob rolled his eyes. Since Friday, she's been acting forlornly and indifferent with him and it was beginning to hurt his feelings. "No, I have about thirty minutes until my communications class. What's up?"

Ness scrutinized the boxes as she notified, "I just got this really cute high chair and matching changing table delivered to me from Ikea. Which is so weird because I was just talking to Rachel about this exact high chair I saw online."

"Oh really? I guess I'll have to ask her about it."

"Did she tell you I wanted these?" she asked collecting a knife from the kitchen.

"She might have said something, but I did ask her to invite you over so you could point out some things you wanted."

"Oh." Her voice was edgy and brittle. Part of her wanted to be mad, but he did as she requested. He got a gift for the baby and not her. Something's made sense now, as in why Rachel invited her over on Sunday for a family dinner , and it's why she was persistent on knowing what Ness specifically wanted for Kai. At least, she picked out the affordable things.

Sitting criss-crossed on the floor Ness pinned the phone between her ear and shoulder while opening the large package with the knife. "Thanks, Jake."

"No problem. Rach got some stuff for you too."

Ness frowned. "Why?"

"Because she's a women, and women go crazy for baby stuff."

"Yeah I guess," she apathetically agreed.

Her tone was cold and uncaring and Jacob couldn't take it. "Are you alright?"

She shrugged. "Eh, my mother's been bothering me. She scheduled a stupid sonogram today and invited both my aunts to come along. Oh and my grandmother and Sue are meeting us for lunch."

He knew he was the reason she felt irked, and he had to address it. "I don't think that's what's bothering you."

Coming to her feet she pulled out the small and simple high chair, unfolding it and pulling all the protective layer of plastic. "Honestly, it is. I'm just not in the mood to see everyone, and mom lately has been prying and clingy. She wants to know why I withdrew from school this morning, what I ate, what bills I have, what college I plan to go to, am I going to breastfeed, what's my birth plan, what type of relationship we have-"

When that comment hit Jacob's ears, he felt the need to ask himself. "What kind of relationship do we have?"

With a sinking heart, Ness gasped. What should she say? She didn't even know what type of relationship they had. It was obviously a friendship, but no more than a relationship. But as Ness thought about it, maybe they were more than friends. However, she knew Jacob didn't mean the words he spoke the other night.

On the other end, Jacob couldn't handle the silence. "Renesmee, I told you I was in love with you last week and you had no reaction. You've been distant and short with me all week."

Ness heard but didn't reply to that message. She answered the previous question. "We're best friends Jacob."

"Yes," was his tetchy comeback, "but Renesmee, do you, do you think we should try and be together?"

With thwart she rubbed her eyes and said, "I thought we already talked about this?"

"We did but I, just think we owe it to Kai-"

"Jacob, I love you and I don't want to ruin what we have now. We have a really good friendship and a relationship would just…" she paused imaging how wonderful a relationship could be with him. But she never felt with Jacob what she felt with any of her exes. He was just big brother Jacob. Ness was not in love with him, and she was not even sure she could ever be with Jacob, but she wanted similar to Jacob and certainly as handsome as him. _Then why not have Jacob?_ She pondered. Perhaps, it would be great or, it would be hell. Most likely it'd be horrible.

Her mind was such a mess, she was going pack and forth about a non existent relationship. A majority of her relationships ended badly and Ness did not want to risk losing Jacob or setting herself up for heartbreak. And with Kai in the picture, she could never just separate herself from Jacob to forget the pain. If it was bad, there would be custody, child support and fighting. Ness furiously shook her head, the risk wasn't worth it.

"… I mean what if it doesn't work out? What if it ends horribly, I don't want Kai to be in the cross fire of that."

"It would work out," Jacob swore.

"You don't know that," she grunted, picking up the light weight high chair and placing it in the kitchen, " I mean fuck Jacob! Would you even have ever said you liked me if I wasn't pregnant?"

"Yeah, eventually."

"I just, I don't believe you."

"You should."

"Right now Jacob, I have no reason to trust you."

He sighed. "I get that, I do but let me earn your trust back.. Move out here. We'll rent a place and if you just give me a shot-"

She cut him off. "No Jacob, I won't move to Corvallis, especially if you're in talks to transfer."

At the moment, that escaped his mind. He better tell her about the good news. "I was approved for the transfer. If I keep my G.P.A. and stats up the University of Washington will take me no problem. So, once I move to Seattle next year, you can move here and-"

She interrupted again, "I'm not moving for you Jacob. If I move it's because I want to."

He wanted to shout at her and tell her she wasn't moving for him, she was moving so that he could see Kai. Their child deserved to see both his mother and father . "Can we at least try and have a relationship?"

" I'm sorry but no. Even if I agreed, why would I want to start a long distance relationship?"

By now Jacob was at the end of his rope. "Because we're having a fucking child together, that's why."

Moving to be with him, sounded good. It would solve a majority of her issues. They'd have a rent and bills that could be split down the middle, he would help her de-stress and she would be able to see her best friend every day, like it used to be, but doing so would counter act what she was trying to prove; her independence and maturity. Edward and Jacob had to see she was capable to posess these things. And on top of that, a minor part of her was still angry at the boy for fucking around with other girls.

She put these thoughts aside. "I already told you, I can't. I don't trust you and you should focus on school and I should focus on work and my schooling."

Ness expected the conversation to end there, but Jacob investigated further. "Am I not good enough? Am I not attractive enough?"

She stopped him with sharp words, "That has nothing to do with it."

"You make it sound like there's nothing between us. Since we found out about the baby, you've made me feel like some guy that fucked you, not your best friend."

"That's not true," she said, that's how she wanted him to act.

"You said it last week, I'm just some guy that fucked you and impregnated you."

Ness felt that burning in her eyes again. She was going to cry, but she fought it. Consideration fluttered in her furiously beating heart, she didn't want Jacob to think he wasn't good enough, because he was. Only she did not have those feelings for him, she was still waiting for blissful love. "You are good enough, too good and since we're supposed to be honest with one another, yes, you're attractive enough. Geez, you're prettier than me but-"

"But what," he countered, disrupting her words, " Am I not nice enough? Supportive enough? Rich enough? What is it?"

"What does money have to do with anything?" she spat.

"I don't know?" he groaned loudly. A few students eyed him but he ignored their stares. "You'd probably date me if I had money. Then you'd know the baby would be taken care of-"

"Okay shut up!" she shouted, "You know me better than that. Money has nothing to do with it."

Jacob by now was hurting and it hit him like lightning. She rejected him. He felt like his heart and throat have been ripped from his body. He couldn't speak and all that remained was an empty hole.

"Can we not talk about this over the phone?" she added.

"Why can't you give me a chance?" he pleaded.

"Because what we have is pretty good. Why can't you just be fine with that?"

"Because I'm in love with you Ness. I want to be with you, I want to marry you and have a dozen more babies with you."

It sounded like some bitch was clenching his throat together so tightly that his voice was cracking, almost as if he were on the verge of tears. But she heard it again. He said he was in love with her but this time when he recited those words there was urgency, desperation, misery and a deep, deep sincerity.

_Holy Hell!_ She thought,_ He really does love me_. No matter what he felt, the risk wasn't worth it to her. As selfish as it sounded, she needed him in her life, even if he was heartbroken. Though, even then, she was sure Jacob had no clue what he was saying.

"For my sanity Jacob, please let this go."

His voice cracked. "Whatever."

She could feel the tension through the phone lines. "Are you mad at me?"

"No," he said to quickly. He could never be mad at her, and he couldn't control her feelings. He could only hope she'd open her eyes and heart and see that he was perfect for her. He added,"I don't know?"

Again Nessie had to pacify him and build his ego back up. "Give me time Jacob. Maybe once the baby's born and we live in the same town again, I'll consider it, but for now I like the way things are. I don't have to check in with boyfriend or beg for time, or make time for him. It's nice. I like being single. I like not having to deal with an idiot, that monitors my every move or tries to get me to, _do_ stuff."

Nessie might have been a virgin five months ago but sexual activity was no stranger to her. Each boyfriend has sweet talked and manipulated her into doing sexual favors. Instead of dwelling on her naivety at the time, she tried to lighten the mood and joke with Jacob. " I mean we're not even dating and you asking me to have your kid."

"I gotta go Ness."

Before she said her goodbye's he hung up.

* * *

**Author's IMPORTANT Note:** I KNOW some of you are furious with Renesmee and just want her to wake up and recognize that what she feels is fucking LOVE! SHE'S IN LOVE and we all know it! But if I made her fall for Jake, then we wouldn't have a story… Would we? And F.Y.I. we're only a little over half way through this story. I have a solid twelve chapters and sometimes ideas spark, so there could be an extra few added to that twelve. So all of you who informed me about wishing this story would never end, we have a long way to go. The quote should be easily understood but if not, it means Ness is scared to lose love.

The whole point of THIS story is not just about some girl that gets pregnant by her best friend and from that she falls in love with him because she recognizes how great he is. I mean it's something along that line, but there's a bigger picture. Sometimes, we don't see what's right in front of us, we don't listen to the advice and we ignore the the signs because we're being stubborn or proud or we're too involved with vanity and shallowness to see the truth. We don't listen to what God is saying. When he speaks to you, it's not a little voice. He presents us with opportunities and many of us say NO for whatever reason. It's like that movie YesMan, sometimes saying Yes can be the best thing you ever did. Imagine saying NO to a date, because you fear heart break or you turned down a job you could have really enjoyed, because of something trivial as distance, or the pay wasn't good enough. Overall this isn't going to be a fairytale story because life isn't perfect, and there's not just once climax and there's a happily ever after. There's multiple struggles. There's gonna be some pretty big betrayals, break downs and heart breaks because Renesmee is so obstinate. She could have had a beautiful thing from the beginning, if she just took a chance. She thinks it's her way or no way and life sucks, because she allows it to be sucky. Truly to be happy, you have to be content. If you're content, you know things are give and take. You have to be bendable to make things work out.

**Thanks to: **nessiehugs, BrownEyesInControl, Patty(heart)cake, , Sabinethebean, loveromanticalot, DelSan13, nj11, dkgors, Axelrocks, Sarah, SophieHadfield, luv2beloved, Tashay789, lena0123, bookworm26, gh0stwriter, JUSTaDAMNbook, TwilightSy, thomabri, moonlightprincess, csfla -jrflgirl, devotedinfantasy, panajoia, Efficient Vixen and you anons. I love you all so much for your support and reviews. Because I gave many of you a different review, I'll have to update the next chapter up, A.S.A.P. Between Wednesday and Friday.

- Was this your e-mail? Did you want me to send previews?

Ms. Roxy-I don't keep to a specific schedule, I try to update at least once a week but life, is life and I can't predict it.


	24. The Same Terms

**A/N #1:** Alrighty, I'm so, so, so sorry. The weekend got away with me and I couldn't post on Friday. I feel horrible for going against my word, I am deeply sorry. Now, I re-edited the last chapter because, well it had to be done. Plus, I was bored and mapped out Nessie's pregnancy and as of now, it's the first week of November. Okay, ENJOY!

* * *

_"If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep."_

**Chapter TWENTY FOUR - The Same Terms -**

(21 weeks 4 days)

Renesmee, unceasingly, hated going to the doctor's office. It was an unexplainable fear she had. Just stepping a foot in the building rose her blood pressure and it certainly wasn't good for the baby. Usually her imagination got away with her and she pictured her doctor giving her some horrible news about a life threatening disease she developed. Although, things were different when she visited the obstetrics office. Not only did she fear for her own health, but that of her unborn child. She hated worrying about things she had no control over, incuding Jacob's feelings. However, at least today it was only a sonogram. Unfortunately, it was with her aunts and mother.

Ness showed up to appointment with her mother and aunts a bit too early. Considering that, they had to wait it out in the waiting room until the doctor finished with the patient before her. Absentmindedly, she brushed her belly and took in her surroundings. The office was much too small and like every other business in Forks, it was outdated. The white walls could use a coat of paint and the furniture not only needed to be updated but could be rearranged. Her mother and aunt Alice babbled on, while Rosalie silently sat across from her, clearly galled. Lately, Rosalie ignored Ness and had quit visiting from Seattle. The teen has yet to ask about her mood because usually her surliness blew over, but her aunt has been indifferent with her since the news of her pregnancy. Hopefully, she'll lighten up and get over whatever it is that's been bothering her.

Right as Ness laid eyes upon her aunt's perfect physiognomy, Rosalie's gaze rotated to her niece. Ness offered a smile at the awkward eye contact but Rosalie only returned weak smile full of disappointment, then puckered her lips in disgust. The drop dead gorgeous blonde, merely crossed her shapely legs and surveyed the world outside the window. Her callousness left Renesmee uncomfortable and Ness could not believe she allowed her mother to sucker her into such an activity. For goodness sake, she had an appointment scheduled in two days, on Friday. Except, that one, she wanted to go to because it would be the first appointment Jake had taken her to.

At the thought of him, her eyebrows went ridged. In the past few days, like a leech Jacob has clinged to her thoughts. His confession of love lifted her spirit but weighted her heart down. While it delighted her to hear he has fallen in love with her, it didn't feel right. For Renesmee something was severely off and she couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was the timing? Or the fact that he had been deceitful? It could even be the distance? Whatever the reason, Ness just did not want to date him and she found an unpermissible excuse. She couldn't, her mind said, no. Their friendship would be put at stake if they stepped in that direction and she wouldn't let their relationship be mislaid .

_How could he love me? He's to good for me. He deserves someone wonderful, not me, not his confused best friend, who persuaded him to have sex. Why the hell did I do that? Now, because of me, because I had sex with him he believes there's more than there is. If he loved me, he would have told me the second he felt something. S_he convinced herself all these things were true. Part of her knew he'd start pushing relation ship again, that's just how he was. He was persistant. Always determined to get what he wanted and he never gave up.

"So how's Jacob Renesmee?" Renesmee felt like Alice's simple question was an interrogation. Looking to her left she saw Alice peeking around her mother, waiting for an answer.

Ness responded turning away from Bella and Alice's interested expressions. "Fine."

By now her mind drifted to her best friend and their telephone conversation from earlier that day. Sighing distressfully, Ness folded her arms. _What the hell does he know about love_? Love would destroy them. She had to put a stop to his feelings though, he'd ruin everything they built up over the years. At the thought of losing him over this, she pulled out her cell to send a text to Jacob. She had to fix this confusion. They had to have an understanding. Quickly, she typed out a message.

Back in Oregon, Jacob received the message in the middle of class, but he stalled to reply. He decided he didn't want to reply because, he was still sore about her not wanting to be with him. He wasn't even sure how to interpret the message, but one thing he did know was he needed to drink. It was the only thing to get her of his mind of his stupid this campus, there were small kickbacks and parties on a daily basis, he was sure to have no trouble finding one.

In this point in time, both Jacob and Ness thought about one another. He longed to just call her his own and she questioned whether or not he would reply to her text.

"How's school going for him? He has a job right?"

Ness turned to Alice and responded to her query. "School's good. He has a flexible job so he's been able to save cash for the baby."

"That's good. Do you need anything? Crib, stroller any of the big stuff?"

She shook her head. "Not really, Jake had some stuff shipped to my place. He'll probably keep doing that until this kid's born." Settling her hand on her undersized baby bump, she realized she didn't want to talk about Jacob, or think about him. She was only worrying about whether or not he was angry with her, so she changed the subject. "My friend's Claire and Quil said they're gonna buy me one of those bouncers."

"That's nice of them," Bella said. With a smile, Alice's agreed by bobbing her head up and down.

Remembering what Jacob had told her a few days ago Ness went against her original plan, and brought up Jacob again. "Next time Jake's out here, he said we'd go to Seattle and pick out a crib."

"Do you mind if I come? Then I can get you a matching dresser or a rocking chair," Alice said.

"Not to be mean Alice, but I rather it be just me a Jake. He rarely makes it home. It's always work, games, school and practice. So when he does come to visit, I would, rather be alone time with him."

"Oh t-that's fine," Alice stuttered. Her feelings were hurt and Ness wasn't sure if it was the way she spoke to her or the fact that she basically said she didn't want to spend time with her aunt. Whatever it was, it didn't matter. Because for the first time Renesmee cared that she hurt someone's feelings and Bella stared at her daughter in astonishment. Ness rarely cared what she said to her family and her apologizing to one of them was seldom. Her daughter usually saved all her compassion and manners for friends and strangers.

Mollifying her aunt, Nessie suggested, "After we pick out the crib, we'll take a, a girls trip to Seattle and do some shopping. It doesn't even have to be baby stuff."

At the mention of shopping, Alice lit up. Excitedly she said, "We can do that, we will do that. I'll get you a dresser. That'll be my gift to you. Maybe we could…"

Alice happily chattered away at the plans but Ness tuned her out. It wasn't until Rosalie finally spoke up that Ness focussed of a conversation.

"Are you guys dating?" Rosalie questioned, interrupting Alice.

"No, why would we date?" Ness said slightly nervous about Rosalie's reaction, " School should be his priority right now."

"Such an idiot," Rose murmured under her breath.

Renesmee heard her foul words and snapped, "Don't call him that."

"I didn't call _him_ anything," Rose grunted and came to her feet. Looking to Alice and Bella she notified, "I'm going across the street. I'll meet you for lunch."

"What is wrong with her?" Ness asked looking to her mother.

Bella patted Nessie's hand. "I think she's upset being in a place like this."

Silently, Ness agreed. Rosalie had a difficult time becoming pregnant, of course being in an O.B.G.Y.N. Office would upset her.

Alice jumped up and lifted the strap of her designer purse over her shoulder. "I should go with her," she said then looked to Ness, "Bring me a sonogram picture, you have to tell me whether it's a boy or a girl. I think it's a girl…or maybe a boy. You know what text me as soon as you find out."

The girl shook her head, chuckling at her aunt's giddiness. "I don't want to know until it's born."

"That's no fun, how are Rose and I going to plan a baby shower?"

"I think it works the same way whether it's a boy or girl."

"But what color do we use?"

"Green?"

ALice shrugged. "Alright, I'll meet you for lunch and we can talk more about it."

Once her aunt left, Bella and Rensemee sat in a completely silent waiting room. The only sound heard was the occasional car passing by or the front desk woman confirming appointments over the phone. The sudden ring of Renesmee's phone startled both women. Ness stood up and went to the corner of the room to answer in privacy.

Bella pretended to read a parenting magazine as she eavesdropped on Nessie's phone call. "Hello? Yeah…How much do I owe?... I work tonight, so I'll see if I can get extra shifts…I'll have my rent…Yes, I know. I know give me until Sunday… Thank you Mr. Emerson."

Nessie sat next to her mother and curiously, Bella asked about the phone call. "What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Ness if you need money lets us know, I gave you that credit card."

"My landlord doesn't take credit cards. I'm fine mom don't worry."

Bella turned motherly and serious."Renesmee I think you should come home. As soon as this baby's born you'll need my help-"

"I'm not moving home," she bickered, "and if I need you I'll call you."

"I want you home. Your father wants you home."

That statement pissed the pregnant girl off. First he wanted her to move out, now he wants her to return home? Harshly, Ness responded."I don't care what he wants."

"Renesmee, he wants you home. He wants to make sure the baby is taken care of-"

Nessie cut her mother off. "First he wants me to abort my kid and now he wants to help raise it? What the fuck! Is he bipolar?"

"Language," Bella warned. Ness folded her arms and rolled her eyes while Bella continued, "You dad has a heart Renesmee. He loves you and would never disown you because of this."

"Mom. I'm fine, if I need you I'll tell you. Things are just tight and I'm not used to that. You and dad didn't exactly prepare me for life on a budget."

Bella felt guilty, because it was true. Her and Edward raised her well, but certain things they hadn't taught her. "No I don't think we did. Sorry."

"It's fine," Nessie mummbled, "Ya know we shouldn't have done this today. I have an appointment on Friday."

Bella smiled and moved her daughter's hair behind her ear. "Do you want to just go?"

"Yeah, I'm starving."

Mother and daughter stood up. Bella made a call to Alice about meeting at the restaurant and Ness told the lady behind the counter that she was canceling but she would be in on Friday.

WHen Ness sat in her mother's car, Bella asked, "You've been taking your prenatals right?"

"Yes," Ness responded confused. How did she know she's been forgetting? She only told Jacob that she had become scatter brained in the last month and she was complacent with everything.

At lunch, she greeted her grandma Esme and Sue. As they settled at the table at the local cafe, the women all spoke about the baby shower. Honestly, Renesmee was embarrased with having a baby shower. Sure, they could celebrate a life but throwing a party for an unwed pregnant teenager wasn't something to celebrate. It was going to be uncomfortable for Ness because in all her life, everyone that had children together were either married or got married before the baby was born. But she knew it didn't always work out, her mother's parents was proof of that. Ness reminded herself, _You shouldn't get married to a man only because you had a kid together. _

Ness remained quiet as the women babbled. She noticed at the mention of Jacob's name, she felt muddled but Rosalie either scoffed or rolled her eyes. She detected that Rosalie disliked Jacob, she always has but she couldn't understand why the two shunned one another.

"I know I freaked out when I found out about Ness," Bella said, "I didn't know who to tell or what to do. But Edward was happy and he made things easy."

"No he didn't," Rosalie muttered, "He went to Alaska."

That was news to Renesmee. She pried, "Daddy was in Alaska?"

Bella shot Rosalie a glare then told her daughter, "Yeah, he was thinking of making a perminant move out there but decided it'd be best to raise you here with the rest of the family."

"Yeah, you have a point," Ness admitted, "I told Jake instead of moving to Oregon with him, I rather just be up here."

Rosalie, whole heartedly advised, "You have to compromise Nessie."

"No I don't."

Bella shot a remark at Rosalie. "Rose what do you know about compromising?"

"I know plenty," she said then looked at her niece, "If you want things civil with Jacob, you have to compromise with him."

"But we did compromise, he's going to school-"

"Renesmee," Rosalie spat, cutting Ness off, "you have to let Jacob have a say and if you don't want him, then let him alone."

Ness was genuinely confussed. "What do you mean?"

Standing up, Rosalie rolled her eyes. "I have to use the restroom."

Everyone felt the tension and Renesmee felt as if the adults were hiding things but Ness by passed any

Trying to Sue interupted by asking, "Renesmee how did you find out you were pregnant?"

Renesmee began to explain about how she thought she was sick but the doctor delivered the news. She explained how she told her mother, Jacob and Billy but she stopped when Esme questioned about Edward's reaction. Instantly, Ness changed the subject and explained the endorsment deal Jacob was working out with the athletics department. Eventually, Rosalie came back but Ness urged her mother to go because she had work at two o'clock.

+Later that Evening+

Bella came home from work and found that Edward's car was in the driveway. He must have come home early from his shift at the hospital. She wandered around the house, searching for him. He wasn't in his office or living room, nor the kitchen or on the lower level of the home at all. Stepping up the treads of the stairs, she called out for Edward, but she got no reply. Once she came to the hallway, she found Edward at the end of the hallway. He was leaning against the door frame of Nessie's room, blankly staring into the empty room.

She walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Thinking." He turned around and took his wife in his arms. They kissed with great desire, but Edward somehow was unenthusiastic at the same time. Bella knew something was off.

"You okay?" she wondered.

Eagerly Edward asked, "How is she?"

"Good," Bella said pulling away from him and down the hall towards the master bedroom, "she needs to gain some weight still but she's doing well, I guess."

Trailing his wife, he questioned,"How's the baby?"

Bella entered their closet and began to undress. She bellowed out to him, "We ended up leaving but last time the doctor said the baby is healthy."

Edward walked into the closet to be greated with a half naked Bella. She waited for him to come onto her but he only asked about his daughter. "Did you ask her? "

Grunting, Bella past her husband and stepped directly toward her dresser. While she pulled pajama's from the drawers, she informed, "I tried, Edward she won't move back home she's still angry with you."

"Damn it, then we have to make her."

"She's eighteen, a legal adult we can't force her to come home. We can't make her to do anything anymore. She already applied for home schooling and withdrew from school this morning."

"That's the least of my worries," he said as he paced their room and bit his thumb nail, "She has always been book smart. She'll complete her work and be finished with school within a few weeks."

Sitting on their oversized bed, Bella spoke, "I guess, I just wanted her to graduate with her friends and have that memory, go to her senior prom. Stuff like that. I missed out because all I cared or thought about was you, and I was taking care of Ness."

He stopped in his placed, and looked to his wife."Call her. Ask again."

"Edward. She does not want to be here."

Edward continued pressing the subject."Well, why what's her reasons?"

Their exchange was the same, and Bella continuously counseled him. "You. She can't understand why you asked her to get an abortion and now you want to help raise the baby."

"She's still my daughter. She doesn't even know how much I love her."

"I think she does, but she's bitter and she's stubborn like you. You reacted so horribly that night."

"I had my reasons Bella."

Bella rose from the bed and made her way to the master bath. "And you're reasons were wrong. Everything you did that night was wrong."

He ran his hand through his hair and followed her to their lush bathroom. "Please not tonight Bella."

As she removed the makeup from her face, she observed her face in the mirror. Not looking away from her reflection she said, "You have to suck it up and forget what pride you have. You owe her and Jacob one huge apology."

"I do but-"

"You overreacted," she interupted,"I tell you this repeatedly and I'll tell you again, you fucked up and Jacob is not you."

Edward gesetured, by pressing his fingertips to his chest. "He's just like me Bella."

"In ways, yes, but he is not you. He's been good to her."

"By leaving her?"

Their talk was becoming heated and Bella was sick of this repeated conversation. It been her husbands topic of choice for the past few months."Unlike you, he didn't want to leave. Together they decided it would be best he went to school and got an education. She said he already put a transfer request in to the University of Washington so he could be closer to home and still get a free education."

He sat on the edge of the bath tub, crossed his arms and mummbled,"I guess he's a smart kid."

"He's a brilliant kid. Renesmee said Jacob worked out a deal with the school, that if they sell his jerseys at games or anything with his name on it, he gets ten percent of the profits at the end of the season."

"Really?"

While he washed her face she informed, "He called me yesterday."

"For what?"

"He was reluctant after Ness found out you talked to him behind her back, but he was asking about the credit care we gave her."

"I haven't even seen how much she spent on the first card we gave her."

"Nothing," she said with suds on her face," I checked she spent nothing and Jacob's really upset that she won't take his help. "

"I don't know what to do Bella?"

Splashing her face with water to get the soap off her face, she replied, "Well you can start by giving her an apology, then making things right with Jacob."

With closed eyes, she patted her hand around hunting for a towel. Edward placed a wash rag in her hand and she continued both talking and drying her face, " I mean he's gonna be in our lives for A-long time. And honestly, I'm happy he's the father of our grandchild."

"Yep," he falsley agreed, "it's great to know he deflowered our daughter."

"Better him than one of the ass holes Ness has dated before him."

"What if I do go apologize and she won't come home. What if-"

Holding her hand up, she stopped him. "All we can do is wait until she asks for our help. From what I hear Jacob helps her whether or not she wants it. He bought her a week's worth of groceries and left her some cash, just have to have."

Their dialogue pretty much fizzled right at that moment. Bella headed to the kitchen to make dinner while Edward made his way his office. Hw found himself surfing the web and somehow, he ended up on the Oregon State Athletics website. He wouldn't lie, he's seen a game or two of Jacob's and was rather impressed with his athleticism. Before Edward knew it, he was buying any souvenir with Jacob Black's name or number on it. At least his grandchild would be getting some financial support but the doctor had no need for these things.

+Sometime in the Early Morning+

Jacob rested in his bed wide awake. He was ashamed of his intentions that night but after one beer and shameless flirting, he found that he was unable to act as he once did. Things needed to be handled differently now that he was becoming a father. Not only that, but he noticed that he would never want any other women besides Renesmee. The thought of her not wanting him made his entire body sore, he could feel the aching in every bone, in his heart and in his soul. _Why do I love her so much_? he thought. How is he to handle rejection from someone so special to him? To a woman he _made love_ to for the first time and not just had sex with? To the woman who was carrying his child? Why did she not return his feelings? _She never wanted me, she only wanted to ease the pain of her breakup. I should just move on, I can't have her if she doesn't want to be mine._

Jacob tends to think of the bad things, but when any negative thoughts leaked out, or he was hurt or in a bad mood, he remembered his mother. She and his father instilled numerous things in he and his sisters. Humor, honor, pride, hard work and compassion the list went on and on but one thing they've always told him, was to never give up. No matter the amount of rejection or criticism, never give up or allow anyone to tell you, you are incapable to have what you want.

This was true. He wouldn't allow anyone to stand in their way, not even Renesmee herself. Her obliviousness was not going to determine their future together. He once promised himself, he's wait until she matured and was able to take on an adult relationship. And he would continue to stick to that promise because she in fact, has yet to mature. While Jacob waited for this, he could only love her the best way he knew how, despite the pain. He also had to expect nothing in return.

Knowing she didn't ackowledge their relationship as more than a friendship was a tough pill for Jacob to swallow but he had to accept what they had now and hope things would work out. He knew he couldn't push this, like he normally would push other topics. Emotions and love can't be forced, he knew this. It's why he never confessed anything to her until he was sure she felt something. After prom night, things got confused and delayed but when he left for school, Ness and his family sent him mixed messages about her feelings. When he assumed she felt the same way he spilled his heart out to her but she didn't get it. He was still unsure if she took him seriously. No matter, she needed time to grow and mature at her own rate, and she needed to do it on her own. Eventually, she'll see that she's in love with him and things _would_ work out.

Getting up from his bed, he went over to his desk and removed the phone from the charger. He read over Renesmee's message from earlier that day:

_The distance may be overwhelming and I can feel it pushing us apart in several ways but I'll always love you no matter what life throws at us. We can make it through if we do this on the same terms…_

Even though it was nearly three a.m. he replied:

_We'll make it ness I'll c u 2nite_

* * *

**Author's Note:** Alright. I totally HATE how this chapter is written, I just do but whatever. This chapter was totally filler, but completely necessary. Now, Don't get me wrong I love your support and reviews but give me something, tell me what you hate, tell me what you love, tell me what to improve on, or what you would like to see happen. Just do it, also you can vote for the gender of Kai. I have a poll up. THANKS ya'll! And again I'm completely sorry I did not update on friday like I promised. I've been struggling with the last few chapters.

**Thanks to: **Roxy,TwilightSy**, **DelSan13, BrownEyesInControl, msr709, cocopucks, MioneWriter007, gh0stwriter, nj11, Sarah, Tashay789, MiaMelibne, bookworm26, JUSTaDAMNbook, hartleysgirl, luv2beloved, dkgors, panajoia, kissandmakeupgrl, nfanpepsi, therealhanna01, XxSafarixX, nessiehugs, lena0123, Efficient Vixen and Augustfire. I'm loving your guys' support and reviews!

Roxy: Yep, they are indeed an emotional mess. I'm so happy you understand that Ness in particular is so lost and confused. Also, wait a few chapters for the Lemons. It's just not the right time to drop 'em in there, especially when Nessie is still, mildly uncomfortable with things.

Sarah: Happy be-lated Birthday! And yes, Jacob doesn't like seeing Ness stressed out. SO he'll start doing what he can to ease her stress. Even if it's against her wishes.

bookwork26: Drama, drama, drama! Everybody loves it and it'll continue.

Ella Keat: Good point! Ness is following her instincts. She's listening to her head and not her heart. Sooner or later her heart and head will be on the same page.


	25. Oblivious Confusion

**A/N#1**: Okay. I've had some comments on the gender and the name, Kai. F.Y.I Kai is a unisex name. It has many meanings in several different languages, such as keeper of the keys, safe harbor, strong and/or unbreakable. Now if you want to determine the sex, go vote. There is a poll up.

* * *

**Chapter TWENTY FIVE -Oblivious Confusion -**

"_Love until it hurts and when it hurts, love some more. Love until you don't care about the pain, until you stop expecting anything in return, until all that matters is loving that person the best way you can."_

(21 weeks 5 days)

Going to work was beginning to become troublesome. It wasn't that Renesmee's seat belt in her car felt awkward across the top of her belly or that getting out of the car was pain in the ass. It was that her body was beginning to ache everywhere and in places she did not know existed. Nearly falling asleep in the middle of a shift wasn't exactly helpful, either. At the deli counter in Forks Outfitter's she stood a lot helping customers, slicing cold cuts, weighing their orders and sanitizing the blades then moping and sweeping. All resulting in shooting pains traveling from the heels of her feet, up the back of her calves and radiating in her lower back. By one o'clock she was off to Peter Bankwell's physical therapy office, to handle three or four more hours of administrative work.

In the office, she sat at the desk, lightly pressing the tips of her fingers to different areas of her abdomen. Nessie still waited for the little one to kick. The doctor advised her not to worry until the twenty second week, which was in a few days. The doctor also informed her that, the baby's sleep is opposite to her own, so Kai was more than likely kicking in the middle of the night when Ness is fast asleep.

Since her pregnancy, she had become a heavy sleeper. Although, she was bound to be tired, since her body was after all producing another life. Tonight she was determined to stay awake and witness this phenomenon.

Driving home, Ness questioned as to when Jacob was going to be back Forks. The anticipation of his return was eating away at her. After their argument about his emotions, she wasn't sure if she wanted to see him. Actually, she did want to see him but the awkwardness would be unbarring. She did not want that.

The second Ness got home, she started on some school work. Though, she found it difficult to concentrate with all her thoughts wrapped up in Jacob. Closing her books, Ness placed her hand under her chin propping her head up and fiddled with the necklace around her neck. The necklace Jacob gave her. Lost in thought, she searched for every possible reason for them not to be together. Nothing was supposed to change. As she admired the piece of jewelry, she thought, _He's making everything change_. How could she make him see that these alleged feelings he carried for her, were false? It wasn't until after she got pregnant that he claimed he saw her as more than a friend. For Jacob being such a forward person, it didn't make sense that it took him so long to confess he's been in love with her all along. _Nothing _he did made sense anymore.

The ringing doorbell pulled her away from her thoughts. Peeking out the curtains, she saw her aunt Rosalie impatiently waiting with a gift bag in her hand. Ness groaned not in the mood for her aunts unexpected visit. But of course, she welcomed her in. Of course, Rosalie came in giving her the bag full of necessities for the baby then began to give commands. She urged Ness to either leave Jacob alone or start a relationship. Sitting, Ness was being intimidated by her aunt Rose, again. She didn't like it when she was in her moods, because she was a completely different person from the second mother she knew. The teen listened to her aunt, dazed. The girl did not get it. Why did Rosalie care what happened between her and Jacob? Why was it any of her business?

"You have some serious decisions to make," Rosalie ordered.

She did not make herself comfortable. She stood then entire time, glaring down at her niece. On the couch, Ness cowered.

Peeking at the blonde headed beauty through eyelashes, she felt like a child again being scolded for her bad choices.

With a lowered head, Renesmee pleaded with her aunt, "I cannot just banish him from my life. I need him, and I won't start a relationship with him based on some, delusional feelings he has for me."

"He said he loves you, didn't he?" her aunt examined, quite bitterly, " Why would he lie?"

"He doesn't_ really_ love me," she implored, wanting Rosalie's approval, " It's _me_ Rosalie. He thinks he does, because I'm pregnant with his kid. He feels he has to love me."

"Ness-" Rose was interrupted by the doorbell. "I'll get it."

Ness sank further into the red couch. _She's being like daddy_, she thought. And in truth Rosalie and Edward, were similar in many ways; intimidating, threatening, callous and bitter, but only when they had reason. The teen contemplated the reasons as to why her aunt and father were being aloof. _What did I do wrong? _She asked herself palming at her bulging belly. She rolled her eyes_. Oh yeah. _This kid has caused so many problems with her relationships. Her and her father were not on speaking terms, Rosalie has been more hostile than ever and Jacob thinks he's in love with her. So far the only good thing to come from this pregnancy was the bond between her and her mother was stronger.

Ness's head snapped to the front door when she heard the hard voice of Jacob Black. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Standing at the doorway, Rosalie blocked him from entering the home. She spat, "I'm visiting with my niece, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see my," Jacob paused searching for the proper title. At school he was telling everyone she was his girlfriend, but that wasn't the case. "My best friend," he finished.

Rosalie responded in the most patronizing way. "You should probably just leave, she doesn't mean that much to you. So, go back to Oregon State, where you belong and stay away from my niece."

"Rosalie!" Ness shouted, struggling to lift herself from the couch.

"Look here, you b-" Jacob stopped with his finger pointed at the unhappy women. He didn't want to reduce himself to her level. Calmer, he stated, " I'm only out there for Ness. I need an education if I'm gonna support our child."

Bitterly, she laughed, "Oh right. I didn't know you could get a scholarship for sitting on a bench."

With his quick wit, Jacob responded, "Look, do you mind leaving or did you sell your car for gas money?"

"Whoa, whoa, Stop!" Ness called, now at her aunt's side. She looked to Jacob, who was still standing outside."I don't get this? You've never acted like this before." Then she scowled at Rose. " And I don't get how you cannot like him?"

Rosalie looked to her niece in shock. "Excuse me for not liking the guy that planted his seed in you and took away your teen years."

Jacob found his way inside the house. Then replied speaking to Ness but staring at Rosalie, "And I don't like your irresponsible aunt who got her seventeen year old niece a hotel room, on prom night, so she could fuck some ass hole and drink from the mini bar."

"Do you hear how he speaks?" the blonde said disgusted, "He's inconsiderate. He should stay away from you."

"You know what," Renesmee said throwing her hands up in defeat, " you guys can go outside and argue all you want but don't do it here." She shuffled over to the hallway, with a hand pressed to her back as if it ached, "I need to get some sleep. I only got three hours last night and I have shit to do tomorrow."

"I'll see you soon okay?" Rose asked, grabbing the strap of the purse that hadn't left he shoulder since she walked in the home.

Ness nodded.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?"

Shaking her head, Ness muttered tiredly, "I get my paycheck tomorrow."

"You can leave now," Jake said bluntly. The cocky grin on his face, irritated Rosalie.

"Remember what I said," she warned, "Bye Renesmee."

"Bye Aunt Rose."

Once the door slammed shut, Jacob pulled the back pack from his shoulder s and tossed it to the floor. He asked, "Remember what?"

Ness stood still, staring icily at the father of her child. "Did you have to act like that?"

Jacob sighed, he didn't want to argue. He didn't even get a hello. "She started the whole thing."

"I know but, she has a reason to be upset," Ness retorted walking down the hallway to her room.

"No she doesn't," he replied trailing behind her, noticing that her hand bore heavily on her back.

Nessie's voice echoed through the hallways from her room, "She can't have children Jacob, and me being pregnant has only reminded her that. She's already a short fuse and for weeks that fuse has been cut even shorter."

"I don't care," he said as Ness rummaged through her dresser drawers for comfortable clothes, "there's no excuse to be a bitch."

Slamming the drawer shut, Ness rotated and threw her pajamas on the bed. Halting, she sighed throwing her head back. Now both hands compressed to her lower back, her arms folded back like a birds wings.

Worriedly, Jacob stepped deeper into the room. "Are you okay?"

Their eyes connected and Jacob could see she was in pain. She declared,"My back's been hurting really bad lately."

Oddly, enough Jacob had been having similar symptoms. "That's weird, me too."

Ness gave him the fainted smirk. "Have you been having contractions too?"

"What?" he questioned jumping over the bed to be at her side. Concerned, Jacob pressed his hand to the small of her back and grabbed a hold of an arm, urging her to sit on the bed.

She swatted him away then briefed him, "Calm down. Not actual contractions just uhm, mild uterine contractions. I guess my bodies preparing me for real contractions."

"Oh."

"I'm gonna take a nap," she notified.

"Are you hungry?" he asked as she lied on the bed.

"No," she replied peeling the socks from her feet.

"Why don't you try to get some rest and I'll go get us some dinner."

"No. I just need some sleep," she said as she searched for a comfortable position, " I'm exhausted."

After giving her a tap on the belly, and a kiss to her forehead, Jake left her to catch up on sleep. Patiently, he waited until she fell asleep, then decided to pry through her bill drawer and the refrigerator. She already needed food and her rent still needed to be paid.

+Later On+

When he came home from her errands, he found Ness sprawled out on the couch, sleeping. The television's sound muffled. On the coffee table were a wrappers from packaged string cheese. Part of him wanted to be angry at her for lying about being hungry, but he knew why she was being so prideful. She wanted to prove herself to her father. However, he knew he had to have a chat with her about her dignity. She shouldn't be risking her health to prove a point.

"Stubborn girl," he mumbled, shaking his head.

Quietly, he ran the groceries inside the house and put them away. While doing so Jake noticed Ness had finished off a box of cereal. He was glad he picked up some subs from the grocery store.

Finding space on the love seat, Jake sat. Delicately, he shook Ness's shoulder. "Renesmee, wake up."

Leaning down he kissed her forehead. "Come on baby, I got sandwiches from Forks Outfitters."

Slowly, she awoken. "Italian?" she muttered as she sat up.

"Just like you like," he informed handing her a sandwich wrapped in wax paper.

Taking the sub from him, she asked, "What time is it?"

"About eight thirty," he said unwrapping a sandwich of his own.

The ate in silence, the way strangers would. Thankfully, the television was on to keep their mind of the lack of conversation. Although, it was not awkward, each was uncomfortable. They were used to being completely distant with one another. Yes, Ness had pulled away dramatically but she allowed him to kiss her and rub her belly now. What she tolerated confused Jake, he wasn't sure where he stood with her and Reneseme's thought's matched his. Both felt as if they didn't know one another. Things were changing and it left each teen lost.

Once Ness finished, she collected their trash and got up leaving Jacob alone in the living room. She tossed the garbage out and went to retrieve a water bottle from the fridge. The sight caused Ness to cock her head, baffled.

" Jacob!" she hollered, " Where'd these groceries come from!" It was a stupid question, she knew he bought them but she still felt the need to ask.

Stalking in the tiny kitchen, Jacob noticed her glaring at the food inside the fridge. "I went to the outfitters got you dinner and picked up some more food for you."

Forcefully, Ness shut the fridge door. She vilified, "Why, would you do that? I already told you once before, don't do that."

"I know, but I only got you stuff for sandwiches, some chicken and cereal. There's a bunch of fruit and those baby carrots you like in the fridge. Also some yogurt and granola. It's enough to hold you over for a few weeks."

Ness inhaled, deeply. She felt the air built up in her lungs, the pressure on her collarbone. Then she released a sigh through her nose. _Calm, keep calm_. Fighting was so useless, so Ness just said, "I'm going to bed."

Ness marched herself into the bedroom, angry. She thought he understood she did not want to be taken care of in any form. With the exception of the baby.

Jacob made his way to her room and his eyes widened. He hadn't seen her bare skin she hid beneath her shirts since, well, _that night_.

As she pulled her scrubs over her head, she saw Jacob standing at the doorway of her room.

"Oh sorry," he stuttered wanting to retreat but his feet wouldn't take him away from this beautiful sight.

"It's fine."

_God, she's beautiful_, he thought. Jacob wondered if he'd always feel his pride and hormones swell each time he saw her while pregnant. Her ribcage was still thin at its width and her baby bump settled low. He wanted to reach out and touch her, so he did. Strangely, she allowed him to do so. He looked to her and they exchanged smiles. He was awestruck by the glow of her skin and basking in her light. There's no going back now, he pondered with both hands still on her stomach. He and Ness were in it for the long haul, a very long but worth it, journey. They were a team now, no matter if she fought it. And by the looks of his pregnant best friend, she's taking one for the team.

"Can I get dressed now?" she asked, not annoyed but expressionless.

He nodded and removed his hands from her abdomen then sat on the bed.

He watched as she pull a t-shirt over her head and her bra covered breasts. She was so tired and achy that the fact that she started undressing in front of Jacob didn't click in her mind, she just continued to undress. Her scrub pants, pooled at her feet and she took the tight fitting leggings and put them on.

"You should take off work tomorrow. Call in sick."

Tying her hair up she replied, "I can't afford to miss work Jake. I have to pay you back for the groceries and I owe my landlord half of this month's rent."

"There's no need to worry."

Making the bed ready for sleep, Ness said, "Uh, sure I shouldn't worry if I want to be homeless."

"Really Ness don't worry I paid the rent."

"You paid my rent!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah."

"Why, why the hell would you pay _my_ rent?"

"Because I had some extra cash and I knew you were behind, so I paid what you owed for this months and half of next month's rent."

"Damn it Jacob!" she shouted throwing the pillow in her hand to the bed, " How the hell am I supposed to learn to depend on myself if you're always here to help?"

Coming to his feet, Jacob walked around the bed. Holding on to the wrought iron of her foot board he eplied, "Even if you say you don't need help, I thought you would like my help."

"Only with the baby. Not with food, not with rent, not with anything besides the baby. We're not a couple Jacob, and you're not my brother! You don't have to take care of me."

He gripped the metal bar firmer, his knuckles turning white. He roared through his teeth, "I'll pay your rent, and I'll pay for food. Cuz as long as you're the mother of my child, I'll take care of you."

"No! I'm not your obligation! "

Coming closer to her, he grabbed the sides of her arms."Why are you being so stubborn? I thought it was a way to say I love you, to help you out and guess what? That kid, growing inside you is my obligation! Renesmee, I don't like to see you stressed out, you shouldn't be stressing."

"I don't stress!" she shrieked defensively.

Jacob threw his hands up and stepped back from her. Collectedly he spoke. "If you would have just let me stay here and work you'd have nothing to worry about."

"Maybe I should have had the abortion." Just as those words left her mouth, she regretted them.

"Nessie, don't ever say that."

With great shame, she covered her burning eyes with a hand and she retorted, "It's true. Ever since I got pregnant it's been one thing after the other and we fight, all we do is fight anymore. I don't like fighting with you."

On the verge of tears, Ness plopped herself on the bed. Jacob found a spot next to her and rested his hand on her knee and pacified her."People argue, they disagree and sometimes they never see eye to eye, that's normal."

A tear fell down her cheek as she said her next statement. "Not for us."

Wiping the tear away from her with his thumb, he smiled. "We have always argued since the day I met you."

"No, we had little quips," she argued, " just stupid playful bickering. We always thought the same, we almost always had the same opinions, but now we're on two totally different wavelengths and…"she paused releasing a quivering sigh. She was giving it her all not to fall apart and cry. However, she thought of how they ate dinner together half an hour ago. While it was the furthest thing from awkward, it wasn't how it used to be. Once together Ness would forget her table manners and speak to him with food rolling around in her mouth and they'd laugh and enjoy one another's company but as of now, Ness felt the difference.

She continued, with calm tears rolling down her face."I-I don't know, things aren't the same between us."

Jacob stood up and took the hem of his shirt to clean her tears. Ness couldn't help but notice how tight and toned his stomach was. The way his hips helped form the v shape was drawing her line of vision downwards, towards his crotch.

As she stared he was speaking. "No they're not and they never will be. We already know this, but what hasn't changed is that I'm always here for you."

She took in what he said, then looked away from his body completely. "I can't even trust you anymore," she clarified this though as she thought over the happenings as the last few months, " You do these little things that irritate me."

"Like what?" he questioned noticing the medalion necklace he bought her hanging around her neck. it caused him to smile.

"Like talk to my dad, fucking Charlene and not telling me about it, then going behind my back to pay rent and buy me groceries."

"I've apologized for screwing around with Charlene and I've apologized for going behind you back and speaking with you father but one thing I won't and will never apologize for is taking care of you. I do those things because I care about you, I care about the baby. I love you Ness."

Ness looked up at him, and felt her heart wither in guilt. She didn't want to say these words, but she had to. "I love you too but don't waste your time waiting for me. We both know it's not going to happen."

Sadly, he sat at her side, wondering, "Why not?"

"It just can't happen... It won't."

Jacob observed his hands as he fidgeted with his fingers. First she asked him not to date, then she tells him not to wait for her. She was still so confused but he knew they'd spend their forever together. "It will Ness, once you grow up and get your head straight, things will be great between us."

She stated, "I am grown up."

"Adults don't say things like, '_I am grown up_.'" He mocked, " They just are. One day you'll wake up and see. You'll see how much you're in love with me, and I'll always be here. Waiting."

Fiercely, her head whipped back and forth."No. We have to be just friends again."

"Who ever said we weren't?"

They sat quietly for a short while, until Ness asked, "Is this what you wanted? I mean if not, what would you have wanted me to do?"

"You're doing it now. Staying healthy," he stopped for second knowing that wasn't true, "making your doctor's appointments, keeping _Our_ baby is what I would have wanted. It's what I want. You're doing everything right, finishing school and ya got a job. You're growing up and becoming independent, and truth be told, that's all I ever wanted for you."

"You really wanted me to keep it?"

"Undoubtedly," he affirmed throwing his arm around her shoulder, "I told you I wouldn't let you get rid of it. I couldn't ask God for anyone greater to be the mother of my children."

"Child," she corrected.

"Right," he said. Internally he died as she said that. She didn't want any more children with him.

For now, he knew he had to take what she gave him, so he nodded. Then when she released a loud yawn and stretched tiredly, Jake decided to bring up her unhealthy sense of honor. "I know what you're doing Ness and you have to stop."

She frowned. "What?"

"You're resisting help from anyone and it's making you tired, and sick." He looked at her disapprovingly. "This whole, pride thing is getting really old pretty fucking fast."

He got up and walked out of the room continuing speaking loudly, " You have to stop!"

Nessie didn't lift herself from the bed, she only listened to him criticize her.

" The two times I've come home you haven't had food and Ness, that's unacceptable," he said reentering her room with the bottle of her prenatal vitamins. " It makes me wonder how you've been getting by since you move out of my dad's," he finished settling the vitamins on her nightstand, " You forget to take these and you can't do that."

Jacob sank to one knee in front of her and grabbed her hands and gave her a serious stare. She held her breath, praying he wasn't doing what it appeared to be.

" Promise me you'll let me take care of you?" he begged, unaware that it appeared as if he was about to propose.

She didn't answer, only released a sigh of relief and shuffled uncomfortably on her bed.

"Promise?" he pleaded, "If you ever need anything, you'll tell me. Swear on it."

Even though her pride knocked on her head, telling her to not do so, she couldn't deny him this. Thankful he was proposing she nodded and swore, "I promise."

"Now I have a confession," he said standing upright, pulling his hands from hers and again, sitting on the bed at her side, "I went through your drawers and looked at your bills. I saw you were behind in rent. I called and told your mom-"

She sniffled. "Jacob-"

He cut her off. "I'm sorry. I really I am, I violated your trust again and I'm sorry, but I told you I won't apologize for trying to take care of you. I just want you to be okay, so I called your mom and asked about the credit card they got you."

Looking down at her feet, she turned her feet inwards. Ness didn't feel angry, only a bit irritated yet relieved. He was honest with her and that counted for something. "You could have asked me."

"I could have, but you wouldn't have answered my questions."

"You're right," she admitted.

"I also told her you weren't eating well, and you were forgetting your vitamins."

Rolling her eyes, things suddenly made sense. "Which is why everyone else is calling asking to take to me to eat or if I'm taking vitamins. My Uncle Jasper called me earlier asking if I was taking them regularly. Everyone called but my dad."

Jacob slung his arm around her shoulder and slid his hand up her smooth neck and jawbone. When his palm found her cheek he lightly forced her to look at him. "I don't understand what's wrong with him, but give it time. He'll come around. I'm sure he misses you."

The warmth of his palm stayed at her cheek as her eyes scanned his face. And for the first time ever, she truly observed his face. She noticed his eye's weren't just brown, and not just caramel, the colors blended in like flakes of compressed wood. His eyebrows dark but straight sat on his prominent brow. Her vision trailed down his nose eventually settling on his pink lips. They were a contrast against his tan skin. The top lips was almost as thin as his bottom but still they were luscious. Ness wondered how they tasted? Then cursed herself for having such a thought. She continued to stare at his face like a new discovery. She never noticed each tiny light colored mole, how much stubble he had above his lip or the light bags under his eyes. Just as she had the thought, _He's very handsome_, she jerked her head away, a million things running through her head. He pulled his hand back but kept his muscular arm across her shoulders.

After a quick glance to Jacob, she needed to think of anything besides giving him a reason to believe there's more between them, than just friendship.

Jake could feel her,oblivious confusion as she stared at him. In her eyes he saw love, but she swore there was nothing. He felt that there were things in her mind that she didn't understand, that were hidden still waiting to be found. But since they promised to be honest with one another, he believed she had no feelings for him. That made his chest hurt. Love was physically was making him fatigued.

"Jacob?" she muttered , picking one topic that was in her mind and pulling Jacob from his brokeness, " I'm sorry for always threatening to take the baby from you. I did that twice. When I suggested abortion the very first time at that restaurant, it was a lie. I could never have an abortion. I don't even know why I brought it up a few minutes ago. And I lied about getting one, so you'd go to school and I-I won't ever take the baby from you Jake. I swear it."

"Thank you," he said bringing his other arm around, and wrapping her in a firm hug and she did not hesitate to return the embrace.

She decided to bring something else up that was on her mind. "I miss this and I miss you. Not I miss you as in I'm in love with you but I miss, talking to you every day, in person, spilling out our emotions and our problems."

Even though that comment, slightly stung he smiled and rubbed her belly. "We have the same problems now."

Instantly, she nodded with a giggled. She really did agree.

Ness found her way completely on the bed. Pressing her head to a pillow while Jacob still sat at the side of the bed.

As Ness was getting comfortable, Jacob looked to his side and asked her, "Do you feel like we don't know one another anymore?"

Her head dipped up and down. It was so strange that he thought that, when she had the exact thought while they were eating. "And it hurts to know that's true. I used to know what was going on in your head, or at least I thought I knew. Now a days I have no clue what you're thinking."

Standing, he towered over her and ruffled her hair. "I don't think you've been thinking much these days at all."

"Shut up," she chuckled lifting a leg and pushing at his thigh, with her weak pregnant strength. His balance wobbled a bit then he grabbed her foot and tickled the bottom of her foot.

After pleading with him to stop he did and found his way to the opposite side of the bed. He rested there as they continued to talk like it was old times. It was effortless like once before. They spoke of everything except the baby and his feelings for her.

Even if they did not speak of these things, they both fell asleep with Kai on their minds.

In the middle of the night, Renesmee woke up with the strangest sensation in her stomach. She thought it was a sever muscle spasm or twitch inside her belly, yet it was completely abnormal. She rubbed her belly confused, then the odd twitching made sense.

While she kept a hand on the kicking inside her uterus, she smacked his arm. "Jacob? Jacob?"

"Hmm?" he groaned half asleep.

"Jake wake up!" she said excitedly, smacking his shoulder again.

He shot up and looked to her lying body. "What what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Almost crying she informed, "The baby's kicking."

"Really?" he asked his hand flying to her stomach.

They both stared into the other's eyes and couldn't control their smiles as they felt the baby continuously kick.

"Oh Ness, this is the first time I've felt Kai kick."

"Me too," she replied.

For the next half hour, they sat on her bed their hands rubbing and staring at her swollen abdomen, as if it were a crystal ball. Jacob gradually settled on his side, using his elbow to prop his head up the other arm never left her stomach. When the kicking ceased, Jacob lifted her shirt and tenderly kissed her belly. It shocked Ness and took her breath away but she didn't have time to think about it. Jacob stood up and began putting his boots on.

"Where are you going?" she asked leaning up, he elbows sustaining the angle.

"Home," he said standing up smoothing out his black tee and readjusting his jeans.

"You can stay here."

"I don't think that'd be a good idea."

"'Kay," she said, her voice cracking. She wanted him to stay over but, she wouldn't force him. Once upon a time, she would had repeatedly begged him until she got her way but she couldn't force him into things like she used to. She wanted him to want to stay.

On the other hand he truly wanted to stay, but he wasn't going to get himself excited because it lying at her side felt like they were more, like they were together. He didn't like his mind to stray and imagine her as her wife, then be smacked in the face with reality. The reality being, she didn't want him, but he'd take what she gave her. He debated as to whether or not to stay but he had a problem that needed some relief. And he sure as hell wasn't going to masturbate in her bathroom.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow before the appointment," he notified then placed a quick kiss to her cheek. Pointing at the bottle of prenatals, he said, " Make sure you eat and take those vitamins. Night."

"Night," she muttered, disappointed that he actually left.

* * *

**Author's NOTE:** Did you like? I do but don't. ALthough, can you see a little change in Ness? I'll let you decided what's changing in her. Now I know some or maybe all of you want to see and little Jake and Ness action, right? Welp, I have a feeling you might like the next chapter. If you review, you get a preview. Thanks for reading. Feel free to ask any questions.

**Thanks to**: All you reviewers and supporters. I know I usually name drop but it didn't save, so instead of taking the time to rewrite each one of your names individually, I decided to just post. You all know I personally thank you reviewers with a message and a preview. And to the rest of you who put this story on her alert, or me on author alert or favorite stories, I really appreciate it. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

**P.S.**Now I have some important news about Last Sunrise and Gravity. I think I'll start re-editing but the story will slightly change, while it'll be the same story, it will be different in ways. Does that sound good? I'm thinking of ixnaying the whole miscarriage thing. Yes/No?


	26. Off the Table

"_If love is so important to have that one doesn't want to lose it, why is it when we find true love we often don't notice it?"_

**CHAPTER Twenty Six -Off the Table-**

(21 weeks 6 days)

At ten thirty, Jacob rolled up the gravel driveway in his rental car. He jogged to the front door and knocked hoping Renesmee would hurry so he didn't have to stand in the rain. She came out pronto, and they rode to the appointment. Pressing her head back into the headrest, Ness side glanced. His face was concentrated yet blank and he continued to clench and unclench his jaw. She wanted to ask what he was thinking, but she didn't have the courage.

Yet again, it was quiet amongst them. And it seemed that the lack of conversation was becoming a common occurrence between the teens. It has been happening far too often for her liking. The only words he said to spoke to her this morning were, "Did you eat breakfast? Did you take your vitamins?" That's it. He didn't say good morning or give her a hug. He acted as if, as if he only impregnated her. Just as she wanted.

Outside the passenger window was lush green forest all freshly dampened by the rain. Morosely, Renesmee observed the scenery fly by as Ness stretched out the kinks in her neck. Last night, when Jacob left, she had the slightest hope he'd come back. That being said, she opted to spent the night on the couch, waiting for his return. She positioned herself so she could have a clear view of the front door but sitting at an awkward unnatural position did a real number on her alignment and she was feeling it.

Jacob noticed her discomfort but didn't say anything. He assumed it was her back, but would never know it was because she spent half the night wide awake, anticipating his return. Although, it didn't happen and she found herself upset with him. However she wouldn't dwell on it, he must have ad his reasons.

Eventually they got to the doctor's office, their waiting time dead silent. Ness shifted in agitation, aching to speak to Jacob about something, anything but she was uncertain how to initiate a conversation. He on the other hand, did not necessarily notice his quietness. The thoughts he had were too loud to pick up on that. Of course, Renesmee was the main subject on his mind. He was trying to decipher her thoughts. He starved to know them. While he was almost, she was in love with him he questioned as to why was she fought it? One time before, she admitted he was good enough for her. If that was true, why couldn't she just try? He thought, _We're having a kid for fuck's sake_. Jacob was not sure how much longer he could take self relief. He needed her.

Soon enough, they were inside the examination room. The doctor walked in, disinterested, and Ness felt Jacob's uneasiness, or was it excitement? Once going through the basic reviews, they continued with the sonogram. The second Jake caught sight of the baby, he snatched her hand. Holding it in his, he squeezed and lit up as the doc pointed out each limb of their child. Seeing the expression on his face was gratifying. Ness felt ridiculously proud for carrying his child and being the reason he was ecstatic.

The doctor turned to both teens. "Did you want to know the gender?"

"No, we want it to be a surprise," Jake answered. Peering to Ness, he double checked, " Right?"

She concurred with a nod.

"Now ," the doc began, "while everything looks pretty good, I have two concerns; Your blood pressure is higher than usual and you're still under weight."

"Still?" Jake examined, giving Ness a stern glare. How quickly the atmosphere changed. It was no longer cheerful but heavy. Straightaway, she turned her head in the opposite direction, and gazed at the screen.

Ness sat there as a mute would, letting Jacob ask the questions she already had answers for.

The doc patted her arm. "I want you to take it easy."

"Like bed rest?" A brow rose when she queried.

"Not exactly, I know you work two jobs but I'm asking that you take some time off."

"No. No. No. No. No." Her head moved back and forth between each no. " I told you I have to work."

Elevated higher and propped on her elbows, Ness listened to the doctor. "I'm sorry Ms. Cullen but you want a healthy baby don't you?"

She settled her back to the examination table. "Of course," she breathed, in defeat.

"Then you need to cut back your hours-"

"But-" she started.

Cutting her words short Jacob pinched her lips closed. "I'll make sure she quits working so much."

"Jacob, I can't afford to not go to work."

The doctor pleaded. "Please Ms. Cullen this is best for your health and the baby's. I'm hoping a less stressful environment will lower your blood pressure. You understand the risks of high blood pressure?"

She bobbed her head. Jacob enquired, "What are they?"

After a detailed explanation about the effects, Jacob disappointedly scowled at Ness. She cringed in shame. Her mind set this entire pregnancy was one of an invincible teen. However, now she realized anything could happen, she was not untouchable. She had high blood pressure, and most likely, that was her fault for placing the stress of supporting herself solely on her shoulders. Potential preeclampsia and the low birth rate was not on her mind, the health of her baby was not on her mind. That appalling fact, smacked her in the face, causing her to tear up. All she cared about was proving her father wrong and showing Jacob she was capable of holding things over, on her own. On the contrary, it's been two months and she needed help. This, she knew but dignity got in the way. Even with all this awareness, she knew she'd continue to do things on her own. She had a point to prove to so many people.

Afterwards, Jacob drove in muteness. Ness watched his jaw clench and unclench multiple times, as he had done so earlier. He had something to say. No doubt about her neglecting her health. And this time, she didn't gaze at him through her peripheral vision, she deliberately gawked at his hard appearance. Renesmee so badly wanted to shout, _DON'T BE MAD AT ME! _She wanted him to speak to her, since he hadn't willingly uttered a word to her the entire morning.

Somewhere from within her, she expressed, "Jacob I can't miss work. I ha-"

At last he spoke, not taking his vision from the road. "We talked about this last night. You need to take better care of yourself."

"I will," she promised, "but I can't miss work."

"Renesmee, it'd be best if you quite working all together," he strictly stated.

She couldn't respond. His suggestion was precise.

Their bodies bounced as the car absorbed the bumps of the disintegrating road. The panoramic view dashing by. Nessie squished her eyelids closed as she searched for something to say, but she wasn't prepared for a harsh comeback. So, she opted to not speak.,

They remained about as loud as a graveyard until Jacob requested, "At least stop working such long days."

His tone was softer than a few seconds ago.

"Seven hours a day isn't even a full work day," she informed. Running her hand through her wavy hair, she said, "I can't cut back my hours Jake, I just can't."

He implored, "You promised you'd let me take care of you."

"I know, but I don't want you to feel like you have to." Truthfully, she did not. She did not want to be his obligation, he had more important things to be concerned with.  
With one hand on the steering wheel, he reached out and took her hand in his. "I want to. Maybe I should move back home?"

Clasping his hand tight with both hands she replied, "'No Jake you have to go to school. Plus, you'll be moving to Seattle in the summer."

Agreeing his head dipped up then down. "You're right."

At least being closer to her was a positive. He would be practically moving back home, and he half expected her to compromise and move out there with him. He chose not to mention this until the time came, he didn't want her to get upset with him.

Changing the subject he said, "Hey my last game is verse Washington state, maybe you could drive up to Seattle with someone and watch my game?"

"Yeah. I'd like that."

Following an early lunch Jacob informed, "I'm gonna drop you off, then I'm going to head over to O'neil's to see if there's any extra work."

She wanted to cry and shout and tell him how stupid he was being for not spending time with her. However, she knew it was smart on his part to go in for extra work. She was sure they could use the extra cash.

"Kay. When'll you be back?"

"If he lets me work, a few hours. Maybe five. Otherwise I'll come spick you up then we'll visit my dad?"

"Okay," she regretfully accepted.

+Later on that Evening+

Before Jacob walked into Renesmee's home, he knocked then let himself in. He found her sitting with her legs folded beneath her and giant tears rolling down her cheeks. The television was blaring and she balling her eyes out. In apprehension he flew to her side.

"What is it ?" he pleaded, wondering what was bothering her.

Scooting the open science book, with papers pressed between the sheets, he sat on the coffee table across from her. The old piece groaned, proving it was aged but nonetheless, it seemed sturdy Glancing down, he saw that the sonogram they received today was hiding beneath her school work..

Sucking on his bottom lip, he examined her as she struggled for breath. The paternal fire ignited in him. His fingertips combed back her mahogany hair. Once he gathered the tresses he twisted the locks with a finger, coercing it to stay behind her head. A few stray pieces leaked but he placed them behind her ears. With his thumbs he wiped the tears away and placed the back of his hand against the flesh of her skin. He found that she was overheated and he couldn't explain the anguish fizzing within him.

Guilt settled in as he assumed he was the reason for her behavior._ Perhaps, I shouldn't have ignored her this morning? _he internally said. It made sense last night and this morning to behave as so. Part of the reason he behaved so indifferently was because that was what she wanted. While part of her wished to remain friends, she once said she only wanted to be treated like the girl he knocked up and he was attempting to give her that. Though, after she rejected him, he found this hard and easy all at once. Part of him wanted to completely pull away, to obey his apathy. If a relationship was off the table, perhaps a friendship should be too? It would be easier on his emotions and on her conscious.

He desperately sought an answer for her sobbing. "Baby, why are you crying?"

"These," she inhaled and searched for breathe, "the- these…"

As he waited for her answer, he rubbed her back praying she was not falling ill.

Looking around Jacob, and pointing her finger at the television, she spit out shaky words. "The-these animals were abused. They have no homes."

He turned to find a skeletal thin dog scampering away and a song being played in the minor. It was an A.S.P.C.A infomercial playing on the screen exposing the hard truths about animal abuse.

"Oh, Nessie," Jake chuckled taking her into his arms. "Ness calm down."

She rested her head on his shoulder, relishing in his consolation. Eventually, her woeful hiccuping calmed and she was nuzzling his neck, sniffling. Jacob's collar was soaked and while he found it unpleasant, he allowed her to continue crying on her shoulder. Literally.

Tightly, he held her. An arm was swathed around her shoulders and the other hand raked through her waves, massaging at the back of her head. In a raspy tone, she mumbled into his neck. "I'm, I'm scared Jacob."

Settling his hands on her shoulder's, he lightly pushed her away to look directly in her bloodshot eyes.

He smirked. "They're none of your concern."

Her puckered brow caught him off guard. "I'm not talking about the damn animals."

He kept his firm back erect, but cocked his head and his hands clasped together. He was not sure what she was getting at.

"What if I'm a bad mother?" she whimpered, while more tears fell from her eyes.

He thumbed her tears from her face, shaking his head. "You won't be."

She stuttered throughout the entire sentence. "M-my mom said I was, was oddly calm when I-I told her. I was, but I-I-I didn't understand what it meant to be a mother then. Last n-night it became real. The baby kicked and I realized _This_ is happening. This morning I realized that whatever I do will affect the baby," she blankly stared off into the distance as she rambled on, " I can, can't just take off and do what I please, I'll have to provide for it and make he or she is always taken care of. How is that possible if I can't even take care of myself?"

His arm extended and he stroked her bent knee. "I'm here to help Nessie."

"I know, it's only, I didn't know it'd be so hard to be on my own. Maybe if I did I would have freaked out sooner. I think I didn't s cuz knowing this baby is yours gave me a sense of security cuz…" she paused, momentarily changing the subject.

"You said you'd be the father whether or not this was your baby. Who does that? Why do I deserve that kind of stability? You're always there when I need you, no matter what."

Shifting a bit on the now black coffee table it cracked. Jake looked down hoping this shabby chic piece was solid enough.

"I can't say you keep me grounded," he informed.

"I don't. That's one thing I could never grasp."

"What don't you understand?"

Looking into his gentle eyes, Ness temporarily became absent minded. Then she eyed his lips for a brief second before turning away and viewed her curtain covered window. She wished the drapes were opened so she could view the beauty outside and not stupidly stare at her best friend. With a bowed head she replied., "Why you're my friend, why you stick around, why you put up with me."

Once he caught her eye sight, his eyes shifted to her belly and back to her eyes, informing her that Kai was a major reason that he put up with her irritability.

At her side, her legs were folded and Jake continued running his palm over bare knee. "That's not the only reason," he informed, " How many time I have to repeat this? I love you. You make my life, livable. Enjoyable."

"With how I've been lately?" she asked wiping her nose with the back of her hand, "That makes absolutely no sense."

"It does," he said.

After drawing in a giant breath, he lifted his hand from her knee. Then began to tell her something he had never told a living soul.

"When my mom died I sorta lived day by day. Went to school, ate, sleep, I helped my dad out and he taught me how to fix up cars and bikes but it was all just what I had to do."

She shrugged. "What more is there?"

"People shouldn't feel alone all the time, especially at such a young age."

"You're not alone."

"I know but I still _felt_ that way. My dad was miserable for years and I put on a happy face, mostly for him, but I was lonely. The only thing I could think of to make me, and my dad forget our grief was throwing a football around, or playing catch or mess with any kind of motor we could get out hands on."

" I thought you loved tinkering in the garage?"

"I do but it was what I did that to forget about everything else. Why do you think I'm so good at sports and mechanics? That's all my life consisted of. Everyone needs a release Ness, some people choose drugs, drinking, sex. I chose mechanics, I choose practicing hard to become the best baseball player or football player. Even sometimes I find myself, in the gym or in class acting like a zombie because, things didn't play out as they should have."

Nessie was not sure how to react. Jacob never spoke about his mother. Rifling through her memories, she only found one time he mentioned his mom and that was the first day they met. She wondered about what his mother drove if he inherited her old car, and he morbidly replied, "My mom died when I was little."

"You miss her."

He nodded. "But when I did these things it, eases my pain. I started to forget that my mother was long gone, to forget my father was paralyzed and out of work, to forget we had nothing. Not only did I fix up cars for extra cash but it helped me forget. And I kept on doing it, waiting for something to walk into my life so there was no more pain. I didn't get why I was living. I was searching for something that kept me pushing forward in life."

"What about your dad, or your sisters? Embry, Quil?"

The heaviness subsided almost instantly. "I hung out with them sure, but I never felt completely whole after my mom died. I can't really explain it. I was nine, my mom was all I ever had and then one day she was gone. I don't think any child should every lose their mother so young. Four years later I met you. You didn't pry or interrogate me about why I sometimes became removed."

Thinking this over she knew on occasion, he'd get quiet but she assumed had a million things running through his mind. Most everyone did, but when they first met he was practically inaudible. He did shut down excessively more than any normal teenager. For the first time, she consider that he might have very well been depressed and his mother's death may had caused it. For the first year of their friendship, he was seemingly lighthearted and happy, but it took great effort for him to get out and do anything. Ness had to basically drag him away from his house on a leash. Progressively, he got better and began to be the one proposing activities. He became carefree and sarcastic and fun. Never once did she think she was the reason for his happiness.

He continued, "You let me get to know you on my own terms, you understood me. I felt like I needed to stop searching, I could stop being lonely. I know this going to sound crazy but, I live for you."

She shook her head, and released a weak smirk. "You must have something wrong with your head."

Dabbing at her eyes she said giggled, "Gosh today was a total waste of make-up."

"You look more beautiful without it."

Their eye contact was committed, and his compliment forced her heart to skip a beat. His honesty was also used her to see him in a new light. It also clarified that she in fact, did not know the thoughts that circulated in the rooms of his brain. There was hidden rooms she felt needed to be discovered, doors that needed to be pried open. Admitting he was in love with her, and speaking about his mom were the last remaining things he kept hidden from Renesmee.

Noticing Jake's eyes were staring at her lips, Ness spoke up. "You know," she said and his vision snapped to her eyes, " I'm glad you're my best friend, I'm so glad you're the dad."

His eyebrows lifted, then pressed together. "Coulda fooled me. You seem so distant. Angry."

"It's complicated to explain."

"Try."

Now it was her turn to be honest. She leaned forward, but he belly only allowed so much room. Jacob handed her the science book. She found the sonogram picture and passed the book back to Jake.

AS she started to speak, he put set the book back on the coffee table at his side.

Her eyes were fixed on the picture and Jacob could see the tears forming. "I always look at the ultra sound and think, when will I want you? When will I be okay with being pregnant?"

He acquired the sonogram from Nessie's hands and stared at his child. "If, you're, if you're gonna resent the baby, or me, maybe," the words he struggled to speak, made him feel monstrous, like he had no soul, "Maybe, we should give Kai up for adoption."

"NO!" she exclaimed," I won't go into a hospital and leave empty handed."

"I know I said I'd raise the baby if you felt like you couldn't handle it but, do you think our friendship should be salvaged?"

She sighed. "Of course, I could never live without you."

He nodded, setting the sonogram down as if it were made of glass. "Then you don't have to but if I raised the baby on my own, it could take some stress off you and you can see the baby whenever you want . Ill-"

"No Jacob." She was not sure as to whether or not be angry, or delighted that he'd do anything that was in her best interest. Even if that meant giving up their child, or him raising the kid on his own. She continued as she kneaded her aching feet with her knuckles, " I'll be here. Not only am I gonna take full responsibility for my child but I'll be the best damn mother there ever could be. And I'll prove my dad wrong, I can do this."

Jacob watched as she rubbed her ankles, expecting her to continue speaking. She kept quiet just long enough for Jacob to see that he fell in love with her more. Her courage and sincerity melted his heart.

Finally she had to admit out loud that she needed Jacob. " If you help I really think I stand a chance."

He smiled at her admission. It was nice to hear that she was finally accepting his aid. She was truly maturing, slowly, bus still she could see she was becoming an adult.

Watching her, he saw her face flinch and she rubbed a finger into the bottom of her foot.

"You want me to rub your feet?" he wondered.

"Could you, please?"

He bobbed his head. Unfolding her legs, she went to straighten her legs out. Jacob reached for her ankles and laid her heals on his legs and began working his magic. Firmly, he pressed his thumbs into arches of her tiny foot causing to snicker. He almost forgot that her feet were ticklish. Jake's bulky hand soon found her small but slightly swollen ankles. Carefully, he rotated each.

"Calves hurt?"

She bowed her head, up then down.

His hands journeyed up the back of legs, and her nose wrinkled from the soreness. She laid her left arm on the arm rest and propped her head up by placing her palm on her forehead. With eyes tightly shut, she whimpered as Jake smoothed the knots from her leg muscles.

Jacob was loving that he had the chance to touch her bare skin. It's been too long since he had that chance. The velvetiness of her cream legs caused him to imagine her taking a shower, shaving her legs. Then he recalled prom night, when he spent a good ten minutes watching her shower. As he reminiscence the suds floating down her body, his dick twitched. He looked away from her legs and up at her face that was still flush from crying. He watched her reaction as he touched her. As she caught a lungful, her chest rose and fell. He could tell her breathing was becoming shallow as she bit her lip and deeply inhaled through her nostrils. He wanted her and by the looks of it he was triggering the same need in her.

With sex on the brain he asked, "You sorry you had sex with me?"

Not opening her eyes, she retorted, "Sometimes, yes. Than I'm thankful it was you." Sensing Jacob's hand slither past her knees, and inched up her outer thighs, she gulped " If you didn't come upstairs, I was about to go find Nahuel and apologize. I can only imagine how he would have reacted to me being pregnant with his kid."

"Well it's not his, it's mine," he declared.

Unintentionally, his hands travelled up her legs and he was now at rubbing the inside of her legs. He did not need to lean to far forward since he could easily stretch out and grasp her hips, is he chose to do so.

He was so happy she was wearing a pair of cotton shorts. Ness stretched out her back, releasing a heavy sigh. Jake watched as her hand rubbed her chest through her tank top. It wasn't until that second he noticed she wasn't wearing a bra. Unconsciously, her hand found its way inside her shirt and she began tweaking a nipple. The teenage boy now had a raging hard on. Seeing what his touch instigated, he let himself touch further up her inner thighs. By now, he was not massaging her but grazing her skin with his entire hand. He lingered at top of her thighs for the longest time, and observed as she continued touching her breasts. She sucked in a breath when his fingertips slipped under the hem of her shorts. Her entire body quivered in anticipation as she pressed her thighs together, trapping Jacob's hands between her thighs. When he found his hand free, he cautiously brushed his fingertips against the cotton fabric that covered her core. The sexiest little groan escaped her lips and Jacob rubbed the area, he knew she desired to be touched most.

Ness was practically in a blissful trance for a few seconds, until Jake asked, "Feel good?"

Alarmed by his voice and question, her head snapped up and her eyes flew open. She became conscious of what was happening, and stiffened up. Pulling her hand out from inside her shirt, she swallowed the lump from her throat and removed her legs from Jacob's lap. She settled the sole of her feet firmly on the wood floors. She shivered in nervousness. Her eyes scanned the entire room, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. With her rejection and now this, would things become awkward between them? Not wanting things to be weird, she scooted forward on the love seat and gave direct eye contact acting as if nothing happened. "I think, I need you, here with me. I feel like... I don't like not knowing you, I don't like feeling like strangers."

He scowled wondering why the sudden topic change.

"We're not. I can come home every week. How does that sound?"

"That's unrealistic, you have games and school."

"I'll come home as much as possible, once a week at the least."

"Jacob, don't make a promises you can't keep."

"I promise to see you more than I have in the last couple of months. I will try my best to see you as much as possible."

"I don't want to do this alone."

"Never," he said gripping the spot above her knee, "You'll never have to do anything alone, I'm always here. "

She stared at his hand, and flipped it over. Skimming her finger over his palm she stated, "You're gonna be dad and I'm gonna be a mother."

Suddenly, tears sprang from her eyeballs.

" How come it took so long to sink in?" he asked now playing with hand.

"I have no clue. Knowing you're the dad, I don't know? I can count on you for anything. Why should I be scared when you support me a hundred and ten percent?"

"It's nice to know you recognize my effort."

"You've always given me a hundred and ten. Even on prom night.."

Mentally, she smacked her forehead at that comment. She shouldn't be thinking about such things. Both Jacob and Ness looked down at their hands as they fiddled with one another's hands. While Jacob noticed how massive his hands were compared to hers, Ness saw the contrast of their skin tone. She could also see her hand shake fretfully, but Jake didn't say a word about it. He liked holding her hand too much. Sighing, she searched for a subject to speak about anything to keep her mind off what he was doing to her a minute ago. Then yesterday popped in her head.

" I never said hi or welcome home or anything to you yesterday."

He agreed, Rosalie ruined his homecoming. "Say hi now."

Leaning forward, she held him tightly and said, "Hi."

Once she pulled away, Jacob wanted to put his lips on hers. He stared deeply into her eyes, memorizing each green caramel and brown threads of her iris. He licked his lips as he panned his sight down to her plump lips. She knew what he was about to do, and before she could stop him, their lips collided. Pulling away she was about to scold him, but he let go of her hands and cupped her face forcing another kiss. She went to pull away again, but he wouldn't allow it.

When she started reciprocating, she could feel the smile in his kiss. She carefully bit his bottom lip, tugging and gnawing on it. Releasing his lip, she pulled away only to have Jacob lay another kiss on her. His hand found a fist full of her hair, deepening the kiss. Both her hands found his neck and she too kissed him harder.

Jacob was loving every second. He loved the way she tasted, and how her tongue darted inside his mouth. Again, she pulled away unsure about what was happening, but this time she continued their kissing. Hungrily, his tongue dipped into her open mouth, lapping at her tongue. She could feel her breathing become shallow and it was obvious Jacob was having the same struggle.

The throbbing pulsated furiously. Her sex drive was kicking in and Ness did not want to take this further than it already went. Although, she would happily have sex with him, it would give him the wrong impression. She didn't want him that way.

Ness pressed her hand to the cotton of his shirt. The fabric unfortunately hid his firm chest. Regretfully, she detached her lips from his. "Jacob," she panted trying to search for breath, "We can't do this."

"Why not?" he questioned not really looking for an answer. Instantly, he cupped her face with his bulky hands and kissed her again.

While his tongue found hers, Ness found herself lost in the moment, in te kiss and in Jacob. She wanted to stop, she didn't want to give him hope but she couldn't help herself.

"We're friends," she moaned while Jake prolonged the kiss.

"I know," Jacob growled as he placed lust driven pecks over her mouth, up her jaw and down her neck.

Breathlessly she declared,"Just friends."

He pecked her lips. "I accept that."

She shook her head. "I don't want you to think there's more."

"For now, I'm fine with us being like this."

"But I-I'm," she respired. She never finished her statement because he kissed her again. When his lips made contact he stood never breaking the kiss and finding his way to the couch. Renesmee's mind was clouded, kissing has never felt so heavenly. Kissing wasn't supposed to be this pleasurable.

Making out, Jake hovered over her, careful not to put any weight on Ness or her stomach. When the pulsating of her mood was beating in her ears, she knew this had gone too far. When felt his excitement, she knew it had gone too far. The balance is wearing and breaking down. It couldn't happen, Ness would not allow that to happen. After a half hour Ness pushed him off her when she felt the baby kick. The little fish swimming around the bowl feeling was just as new to Renesmee as it was to Jacob. They spent the next hour paying attention to abdomen. Jacob even proceeded to baby talk her stomach, saying how much he loved Kai.

At nine, Jacob grudgingly left saying he needed to spend time with his father. In truth, he was having the same problem he had last night. Sadly, she watched him step out her front door for the second night in a row. And even then the throbbing was still present and all she could think about was touching herself. She spent the night doing so, with only the thoughts of Jacob. He too, spent his night this way.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I tried to simplify my writing but I believe I failed. So I'm sorry if occasionally you get confused with me being to descriptive. Now, I know ya'll wanted major lemons but it wasn't the right time for her have that type of relationship with Jacob. Now, you know what to do. Read and review. Remeber reviewers get sneak peeks to the following chapter. Love ya'll and God bless... Oh and the quote is about Ness not seeing the recognizing true love.

**Thanks to: **roxy, Ruhnezmay, TwlightSy, hopelessly-addicted, Tasgay789, evil-hazel-18, theavidreader4life, John, loveromanticalot, hartleygirl, bookworm26, MioneWriter007, S, thomabri, Sarah, Dazzler916, nessiehugs, dkgors, luv2beloved, mami-hai, csfla-jrflgirl, Dreamcatcher94, panajoia, JUSTaDAMNbook, Efficient Vixen, nj11, reginakttykt, lena0123 and jessyblack101. Now if I missed anyone please inform me, you'll get a special treat and I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your support, your times and reviews.

**Responses to my Anon's:**

(_Roxy_) -Thanks, I've feel proud that there's been so much traffic. (_John_)- While I like your suggestion, I think a child period will cause Ness to constantly think f Jake. Jake didn't stay because he's pulling away after her rejection. Also his patient is wearing thin with her, but he's trying to be patient. (_bookworm26_)- There's a lot more coming. (_jazzyJ_)- renesmee is surly getting better, maturing and Jacob is only giving her space because he's pulling away after he rejection. Yeah, he needs to get some but, now isn't the right time to introduce such lemons. Plus, Ness isn't in love with him. _(S_)- I'm so very flattered that you're enjoying my story. And while Ness is feeling something for Jacob, she doesn't recognize it as love. (_thomabri_)- So happy you're pleased with the last chapter. (_Sarah)- _YES! Progress has been made by each teen and I'm happy to see you recognized this. They do see that they're growing distant with one another. Also, while Ness thinks they've started out best friends this is untrue. She's been in love with him since she laid eyes in him, which is why she's having a hard time distinguishing love from being best friends. She thinks the infatuation she had with each ex was love. There's progress, slow progress but it's still there.


	27. What Ifs

"_You can close your eyes from the things you don't want to see but you can never close your heart from the things you don't want to feel."_

**Chapter Twenty Seven-What Ifs-**

(26 weeks 6 days)

The faint beeping was beginning to drive Renesmee insane. She had a temporary case of restless leg syndrome. The I.V. in her arms seemed unnecessary. And Jacob not being with her made everything ten times worse.

At her checkup today, they poked and prodded her with needles and ran tests. Most everything turned out normal, with the exception of her blood pressure. At one forty over eighty-eight it was much too high and because of that, the doctor had her stay overnight at the hospital to be monitored. During these hours they would check her blood pressure and see if it was a potential threat to her pregnancy.

Forks Hospital was tiny. There were few personal rooms and she was stuck in a community room with curtains as dividers. Lying on the uncomfortable bed, she struggled to find sleep. She shifted and rolled around in attempts to find a comfortable position. However, she was restless.

Of course she was worried about the baby but that was not the first thing on her mind. Who had time to think, when the voices around you were louder than your own thoughts?

On either side, her neighbors were loud. An older women complained about the temperature and the young man on her right had broken his leg in a hiking accident. Apparently his girlfriend pushed him after they had a fight. The girlfriend was in hysterics-crying, apologizing and begging for his forgiveness. Aggravated with her surroundings, Ness attempted to ignore the patient's cantankerous behavior.

Like ear muffs, Ness covered her hands over her ears. Her eyelids crushed together. Her teeth were sinking into her bottom lip. She wanted to shut everything out. To pretend her surroundings did not exist.

That was senseless on her part. It was evident that this was her reality. The patients around Ness could bitch and moan all they wanted, because they needed to be here. Their injuries needed to be adressed and only doctors could heal them. As for Ness, she knew it was crucial she be here but the baby did not deserve to be in the hospital. This wasn't a broken leg or a recovery from heart surgery, this was because of undernourishment. This visit could have been prevented. It was all her fault for neglecting her health, to prove a point.

Patting her eyes, Ness wouldn't allow the moisture leek from her eyes. Crying would not fix a thing. Once she could tune out the voices and sounds around her, she tried to let her mind wander. But all she could worry about was the baby. Too much guilt had built up inside and it consumed her. For the hundreth time she told herself, this should not have happened.

Sucking back tears, she eyed her abdomen. It was still undersized and the strap around the belly felt to tight. Nevertheless, she knew it was vital to keep a close watch on the baby's heart rate.

In truth, it made no sense that she had to be here. She had done everything the doctor asked of her. She cut back her work hours, and gained the weight she needed. Perhaps, not as much as the doctor asked her but she put it on at a steadier pace. Reluctantly, she even accepted handouts excluding Jacob. She would not take a penny from him, even if she promised to let him take care of her. She couldn't make him responsible for her. To her, it did not feel right. Especially, after the lustrous act he began to perform on her during his last visit.

Thinking back to that night, Ness did not know what to think. Did she like him touching her? Did she want it? Or was it just her hormones begging for a sweet release? She sure as hell knew she needed it, and there was no doubt Jacob did also. Part of her wanted to give in. To just say, _fuck it_ and allow Jacob to take advantage of her. However, she did not want to fill Jacob with hope. It would destroy their friendship. That she was sure of.

After that night, the rest of Jake's visit was awkward to say the least. They could not even have a normal conversation without being nervous with one another. They stuttered and continually stammered in every exchange. They stumbled over words and found themselves embarrassed. Even with the baby inside her belly, she could feel her stomach flutter with butterflies. Her stomachs responsiveness to Jacob was hundred times stronger than the first time saw him, then when he showed up at her house in the middle of the night on his motorcycle or the first time he kissed her on the forehead.

That memory got her mind of being in the hospital for a moment. She remembered he was sixteen and she was fifteen. He got his license. She was so excited for him and to celebrate she treated him to ice cream. It was the two of them and after the dessert fix, they took a drive to nowhere in particular. The roads lead them to the beach and they spent the afternoon sitting on the hood of his car, talking. It was the first time he casually slung his arm round her when they were alone. Something she had said made him laugh. As the sun set, he chuckled and kissed her forehead. It was not the first time he said he loved her but it was the first time he kissed her. Even though she had a boyfriend, he did it without shame. It was so platonic that from that point she saw their bond as sibling like. He protected her and loved her without conditions the way family would.

Maybe if he kissed her on the lips, things would be different. She might not have never found their bond as platonic. A simple kiss could have taken their relationship down an entirely different road. But it was not time to think about what if's.

Somehow, as if Bella knew Ness was thinking of Jacob, she advised, "You should call him."

Nessie's head snapped up. She was greeted with her mother's judgmental brown eyes. "For what?"

"Renesmee, you _need_ to tell him."

Frowning, Ness gazed over to Bella. She had been silently sitting by her side for the past hour and to Renesmee's dismay, she decided to say something. And it had to be about Jacob.

While she was thankful her mother had been supportive during her pregnancy, she wanted her to leave her be. If Renesmee was going to call Jake, she would but silently she prayed nothing to serious was wrong. If all things appeared fine, she was hoping a call could be avoided.

Obviously, she should call and notify the football player about her dilemma. This was his child too. Even so, to worry Jacob was something she did not want to do. He had a big game coming up and she did not want to disperse his focus from it. Keeping his stats up, would guarantee his acceptance into Washington State with his scholarship. Therefore, the distance between them would be shortened. She need that to go through. She needed him.

Signing, Ness informed, "Mom he's probably on a flight to Florida for a game."

"Leave him a message then."

The plastic bracelet around Nessie's wrist suddenly was bothering her. Scratching at the skin beneath it, she replied, "I don't want to worry him."

Her mother took a strict tone with her. " Renesmee Carlie Cullen, if you don't call him I will."

Throwing her hands up, Renesmee surrendered. She did not want to hear her mother lecture her. "Fine. I'll call."

Forcing her fingers through her tangled hair, she asked her mother to retrieve her purse.

Her mother did so, and Ness fished out her cell phone. Bella monitored her daughter seeing her twiddle with the phone like a toy. She began to dial then stopped, or dialed then placed the phone to her ear before quickly hanging the phone up. It was clear she was stalling.

Patiently, Ness waited for her mother to leave so she could make the call. Bella caught on. Coming to her feet, her mother stated, "I'm gonna go find your father."

At the mention of her father, she winced. He worked in this hospital and hadn't even stopped by to visit her. She doubted if she even cared.

Standing up from the bed, she began to pace with the phone in her hand. The buttons felt strange to press. Her fingers felt numb and swollen but she ignored the bizarre sensation. With the receiver to her ear, she listened to the phone continually ring. Running her palm across her plump belly, she desired to hear his voice. It had been almost a full twenty four hours since she last heard his voice. At the thought of him, the baby fluttered about, moving around and kicking. This made her smile, then her surrounding reminded her that Kai could be in some sort of distress. The thought of her little baby in pain caused her to grimace. What had she done? Knowing she was the reason for Kai hurting tormented Nessie.

The sound inside the cell, chimed and buzzed. It felt like forever and a day, until she heard Jacob answer. "Hey Nessie."

The sound of his velvety voice caused her to uncontrollably smirk. "Why do you do that?" she asked then bit her lip shyly.

"Do what?"

"You answer like you know it's me calling."

"Well," he stated dragging out the word, "that's because I know it is you calling."

She teased him. "Your phone etiquette is horrible."

"My phone etiquette is fine."

Ness continued their flirty banter, forgetting the about the main purpose for her call. "Why can't you just admit that when it comes to me, you get a bit too comfortable and forget your manners?"

"Mmm, because macho law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong."

"Oooohh," she lifelessly chuckled, "macho law?

Her heart monitor gave a warning chant as her blood pressure rose. Her heart dropped. Quickly, she went over to the bed and sat down as he explained himself. "Yes, macho law is the unwritten rule that says the man is always right, even when he is wrong."

Subconsciously, Ness tried to hide the fact that she was in the hospital from Jacob. She humored him. "Doesn't pregnant law override macho law?"

"What's pregnant law?" he enquired trying to figure out what that annoying bleeping noise. He peered around the airport searching for the sound.

"The way I understand it, it's when the woman you knocked up is always right, because well, you knocked her up. So, yeah it overrules macho law."

Jake released a light chortle. " I guess you're right." Finally, he recognized the beeping coming from within his phone. "What the hell is that beeping?"

Assessing what she should do, she nearly lied. As she was about to say she had no clue what he was talking about, she decided it was best to be frank with him. "I'm at the hospital."

His chest tightened up in apprehension. Then he got heated. "When did you plan on tell me this?"

Ness could hear the fear and his frustration in his voice. She hated it, but she didn't want him to be cross with her because she lied. Even though she did not want to lie, she lied to herself. Telling herself tht there was nothing to worry about. Then she pacified Jacob. "Don't overreact, I'm sure I'll be fine."

Once the nurse came in, Ness silently expressed concern with her eyes.

"When the hell would be the right time to overreact? I was pretty good about the whole, underweight thing-"

He cut himself off."Yes you were and I've gained weight since then, but _fuck," _she mumbled to herself, "I just want things to be alright."

Ness watched as the nurse checked things. The older women pressed her thumb and index finger together into a circle and her remaining fingers stuck in the air. She was informing Ness that everything was okay.

Ness thanked her. On the other end, Jacob felt exhausted and weak.

The boy hated feeling helpless when it came to Renesmee. He was supposed to be there to protect her from anything and everything. And because he was hours away, he couldn't be there to comfort her. That was insufferable to him. He couldn't run his fingers through her hair and kiss her tears away to mollify her.

It was hard to think straight with catchy Christmas music playing in the background. This time of year was supposed to be happy but Jacob was in agony. But so many things whirled inside the boys mind. He had just shipped a stroller to Nessie's house yesterday and with the amount he spent he was low on funds. He informed, "Nessie I'm waiting to board a plane to Florida."

"I know," she confirmed.

He rubbed his forehead, ignoring his teammate that was eavesdropping. "With Christmas and all, I don't have enough money to buy a ticket to Port Angeles right now."

"It must have been true. With all the little gifts he's been shipping, she knew his funds must have been low.

She informed, "You don't have to come out here, they just want me to stay overnight to monitor my blood pressure."

"Do you think should still go to Seattle?"

"Yeah," she squealed. She wanted to at least make it to one of his games this year. "This isn't life or death Jacob, they just have to see if this is potentially dangerous but I doubt anything's wrong."

"Ness don't take this lightly. Remember all the things the doctor talked about? Low birth weight, slow fetal development, preeclampsia and eclampsia. You could go into a coma, Ness you could die. "

The way his voice cracked when he spoke that last sentence, caused Nessie's chest to stir. It hurt and made her feel miserable. She couldn't stand the sound of a terrified and saddened Jacob. He said it as if it had already happened as if these potentials were a sure thing.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. The nurse just came in and said I was doing fine. They're just going to double check and see what's going on."

He was cautious but chose to believe her. "Well, I'll be home soon."

"I know." She smiled, excitedly. Christmas was in under two weeks and she missed him. The last time she had seen him was before Thanksgiving.

Lightening the mood, he asked her, "Have you got a tree yet?"

"I don't need a tree."

"You can't have Christmas without a tree. So when I get home, we'll go pick out a tree and buy some cheap decorations."

They spoke for some time. They disgused their plans for Christmas and she wondered if he was the one who anonymously sent her a box full of Oregon State souvenir's. All of the jerseys and tee's had Jacob's number on it and she automatically assumed he had sent her the stuff. He didn't take claim to that and not knowing who sent the items irritated Ness. Only a handfull of people knew she was having this baby with Jacob and even fewer people would be willing to spend hundreds of dollars on random momento's. Gradually, their conversation transformed into many topics, including their first drive together.

Jacob loved reminiscing with Renesmee but life was calling.

"Hey we're boarding. I gotta go."

"Okay," she sighed. At the last possible moment she said in a shrill voice, "I love you."

Jake absolutely melted. He loved to hear those words from her mouth. But even more so, he loved that she was always the first one to say it. "I Love you too, see you soon. Bye."

"Jacob?" she called, not wanting to end the conversation.

"Yeah?"

She repeated, "I love you."

"I love you too."

Gazing down at her belly, Ness murmured, "Miss you."

"I miss you too. Keep me updated please. I'll call you when we land. Bye."

With her teeth digging into her bottom lip, she stammered, "Bye."

Part of Renesmee felt empty. As if there was no closure of any kind. Not that she needed closure but there was something out of place. The heart beating inside her chest did not feel like it was beating at its full potental. There was a missing piece and Ness could not put her finger on it.

Hours went by and the blue sky faded into a deep purple.

Bella stayed overnight with her daughter and Ness culd not help but feel so hollow inside. So anytime she felt her tank begin to drain, she filled it with thoughts of Jacob. Almost instantly she felt whole again.

In the morning this question spilled out of the teen's mouth. "Mom how did you know you were in love with daddy? How do you know you're in love?"

Bella sipped the coffee she had in a styrofoam cups. After rubbing the sleep from her eyes and getting a quick yawn in her mother replied, "You just know. I fell in love at first sight but your father and I had a difficult time. Love and hate really is a thin line."

The confused girl stared at her mother, who seemed to be in some sort of love sick trance. Bella stared into thin air, and grinned like she had died and gone to heaven. _Is that what love looks like, feels like?_

Ness thought that query to herself but asked, "Did you ever second guess yourself?"

Bella shrugged and took another sip of her coffee. "Sure, but at a certain point you stop denying what your head tells you and listen to your heart. Eventually, your heart and mind get on the same page and once they do, things become..." her mother paused and her eyes glossed over. That smile grew larger. She was in another devotional stupor. Finally, Bella finished, "blissful."

Ness wanted that. She tried to imagine any time she had ever felt the way her mother appeared and she could only think of all her ex boyfriends, and she was not sure if she got that feeling with Jacob. "I'm going to have a difficult time with love, no guy is going to want to be with a single mother."

"You'll have no problem finding love Ness, if you haven't found it already."

"Meaning?"

"My daughter, let love come to you. You may already know your soul mate."

That did not answer her question at all. Seriously, could her mother give her a more vague answer? How was she to know what love was? How was she to know what it felt like?

Was it love with Jacob? Or attraction? She could no longer deny she wanted him in the most sinful way. _He's absolutely gorgeous. _She could finally admit that to herself. She was even having more and more sex dreams about him. Gosh, how she wanted every physical part of him but the whole relationship thing, did not feel right.

"Are you going to move home?" Bella wondered, pulling Ness from her thoughts.

"No…"

Luckily, the doctor interupted an argument that was waiting to happen. "Ms. Cullen?"

"Yes?"

Quickly the doc got straight to the point. "Okay. Here's the first thing I'm going to tell you- you have to take help, if it's offered accept it. Your high blood pressure is causing major problems. Number one being slow fetal development and low weight gain. This could potentially lead to premature labor, and a low birth weight for the baby. We have to be very careful, you may be developing preeclampsia. And in case you go into premature labor, we're giving you steroid shots to speed up the development of the baby's lungs-"

From that point, Ness could not hear the doctor's explanations. They could do whatever the hell the wanted to her. It did not matter. All Renesmee wanted was a healthy baby, and if possible, she wanted Jacob in her bed.

* * *

**Author's Note**: UHHHHHHH! It's been forever. I'm sorry... two weeks is to long. I will let you know that I do not like working full time. How do people do it their entire lives? I feel as if nothing has gotten done. Not this story, not the cleaning, not the laundry, none of my lessons. I mean literally, I feel as if I've neglected everything besides working. ANYWAYS, in case you forgot in the last chapter Ness finally connected the dots. She's seeing that she_ is_ pregnant and she needs to be more responsible and this little hospital visit is the repercussion of her neglectful behavior. She sees that. Now I will say I hate this chapter, it seems pointless. My writing is not up to par and it feels so, boring. But whatever I hope you liked and they quote is

And all reviewers get a preview.

**THANKS TO**: panajoia, little-miss-bella-cullen, jazzyj, Violette96, Vianna1321, puckleberryforever, Emelinee Baconinee Tortalinee, TwilightSy, tryingtobreathe, MioneWriter007, Taaay, loveromanticalot, Roxy, bookworm26, DelSan 13, hopelessly-addicted, bookslover07, Sarah, dkgors, Wolfy-lover, BrownEyesInControl, hartleysgirl, luv2beloved, denica, evil-hazel-18, carolineblack18, nfanpepsi, Efficient Vixen, Dreamcatcher94, csfla-jrflgirl, mojojojo152, JUSTaDAMNbook, nessiehugs, Tashay789 as well as my missing reviewer Patty(heart)cakes- where've you been? Anyways, I love ya'll! You should know that since I take the time to reply to your reviews and take the time to personally write each of your usernames down. I greatly appreciate your support. Again I love you.

**ANON REPLIES**: (_**jazzyj**_) Yes, sloooow. And I don't think it'll be that slow, give it about two or three chapters. Things'll get hot and heavy pretty fast. Oops, I said to much. (_**Roxy**_**)** Ha, ha. Being antsy is fine by me. If you ask a question I'll answer it, that's just how I work. SO, you are so on the right track. They'll come together without the titles. If ya catch my drift? As for a betrayal uhmmmmm…You have to see how it plays out and yes an old character makes reappearance. But the betrayal will not go as far as one would think. Ness will also slaughter any progress they make in their "partnership" I hoped I answered that w/o giving too much away. Peace be with you! (_**bookworm26**_**)** Yeah, there might be more in the future. ; ) _**(Sarah**_) YAY! 400, can you believe it? Yes while Ness has taken the steps towards maturity, her hormones are doing a real number on her. By the way, Thanks for the compliment on my writing style, but there's always room for improvement.


	28. Sense of Unity

_**Author's note**: This is a re-edit. You will have twenty four hours, to either re-read the updated version of this chapter (if you choose to do so it is not that different) review or vote for the gender of the baby. The pole is up on my page. Please vote because the birth is coming soon and I mean soon. Also, you drop me a P.M. or review, I'm willing to give another preview, because chapter twenty nine is going to be a LONG, LONG chapter. I hope to have it updated by the weekend. LOVE YOU ALL! Happy reading! _

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_"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves."_

**Chapter Twenty Eight –Sense of Unity-**

(28 weeks 2 days)

After Christmas Eve dinner, Ness plopped herself on the couch to digest her food. Everyone exchange and admired their gifts. Gradually, the collection of people settled into conversation. She listened and observed, but not once did she move from her spot on the sofa, nor join into any conversation. She was much too tired.

All around her was warmth and cheer. The season brought a tender feeling that was beyond words. It was a wonder that Christmas made your heart grow with appreciation.

Across the grand room, was an eight foot Noble Fir Pine, beautifully decorated with shiny bulb ornaments, and handmade decorations. At its base Jacob's niece, Hannah, happily entertained herself. Her raven hair was tossed in a pony tail and her chubby little fingers held a stuffed horse as she pretended it trotted around. Like the little girl, Ness hoped her Kai would be well behaved. For one scanty moment, Ness pondered at how Jacob behaved as a young child. It was something she would have to ask Billy.

Gaping out the window, she studied the white flakes descend in the pitch black of night. It was a lovely sight. As she scoped the scene, thinga appeared lighter. Everything became as weightless as the snow. The thought of her health, gone and the strange tension between her and her father momentarily deserted her brain. It was amazing the affect nature had on a person -leaving one temporarily disconnected from the headaches, and heartaches. And for some, it made them contemplate these things.

Peering upwards, Ness observed the home. You could spot the new wood among the old planks. The beams were tightly interwoven, to support the structure. She wondered if the roof could handle all the weight of the falling snow. But she knew better than to question the carpentry work of Sam and Paul.

Inhaling, the room smelt of smokey fire and the crisp scent of the Christmas tree. Automatically her sight went to the pot belly stove in the corner of the room. Billy and Charlie sat at the fireplace's side, most likely conversing of fishing. Oddly enough, her father sat on a dining room chair along side them.

The odd gathering was certainly a sight to behold. Jacob successfully merged both his family and Renesmee's for the holiday and she rather liked it. Although, Edward's presence left her uneasy. The mere sight of him caused her throat to close up and her veins to run cold. Being in the same room made her feel as if she betrayed her child. How could she allow him to be around her and her child? How could Jacob allow it?

Needless to say, Ness did her best to ignore his existence. As she did so, she could hear her mother, Sue, Emily and much to her dismay, Leah, chattering behind her. Rolling her eyes, she attempted to forget the fact that _she_ was here.

By doing so, she turned her full attention to Paul Junior, who had approached her asking to play. Gleefully, she accepted. She scrutinized his every little move, and answered his every question. She watched his head cock like a curious puppy, as he studied his toy or did not understand her answers. Resting, she allowed the young boy to wheel a toy motorcycle over the curve of her belly. She playfully made the noise of a motor's sputter.

Out of the blue, the four year old announced, "Your tummy is fat."

Smirking to herself, Ness replied, "There's a baby in there."

He corrected her. "No. You eated lots of food."

"I did," she laughed, "but your baby cousin's in my belly. Kicking me." Taking his hand she positioned it right over the spot the baby kicked.

"Ah, ha, ha," he giggled, scrunching up his nose, " your tummy is moving!"

She educated the boy. "That's the baby".

A line formed between his teeny eyebrows. His hands delicately tapped her abdomen. "How's he in there?"

Not knowing what to say, she opened her mouth, letting whatever words that came to mind pour out. "God let uncle Jake put a baby in me."

"Why?"

"Because uncle Jake gave me the biggest most bestest hug in the whole world."

"But why?"

Again without much thought, she answered, "Uhm…because he loves me."

Paul paused for a short moment. Ness found the time to yawn, and truly think about her words. _He loves me_.

Then the child asked, "Why?"

Ness chuckled nervously. Gazing at the little boy, she withdrew. She questioned herself, _Why does Jake love me_?

Luckily, Rachel saved Ness from having to think too deeply about that question.

Rachel picked Paul Junior up from the couch and stood him on the floor. "Go tell uncle Jake aunt Nessie's baby's moving."

"Okay," he said and ran away.

Ness remained quiet as she contemplated the why Jacob loved her. Sure he said she made him live again, but was there more? Did he like her personality? Or did he only appreciate her looks? Maybe she was like a drug to him. Not necessarily good, but she made him feel good in some way?

What she failed to remember, was his explanation for loving her. She couldn't remember how she brought him out of his depression or how she made his life enjoyable, livable. But he had several more reasons than that, countless reasons.

Rach kicked her shoes off and took Paul's spot next to Ness. Curling up with a blanket and examined, "How's my godchild?"

"Kicking like a soccer player."

Turning serious Jacob's sister asked about her health. "How are you?"

"Tired, but I feel good."

"No hospital visits?"

"No, I'm doing better."

This conversation lead to the two discussing Billy's health. Rachel began to fall apart. Mostly because she feared her father had just about given up on life. As she continued on about Billy, she brought up her mother. From then on Rach fought very hard to hold back tears.

Ness started to see that Jacob's mother was this family's life. She wanted to be that important to her family, to her husband.

Unconsciously, she glanced over her shoulder as Rach continued to talk. Around the kitchen island was a collection of men. Sam held his infant daughter in his arms, Paul expressively spoke about something and for some reason Embry was here. Ness frowned. In one way or another everyone at Paul and Rachel's home were related but Embry was not related to any of them.

Then her sight found Jacob, and she unintentionally went into a trance. Something must have been hilarious, because Jacob's head was thrown back as he released a throaty laugh. Her eyes scanned what she could see of his body. The way his sleeves could not role up past his forearm, highlighted how muscular they were. His pearly smile pleased Renesmee more than she could say and she could not understand how she could get his dark hair perfectly styled.

Without warning Jake's line of vision was directed at her, her chest tightened with the loss of breath. Their eyes met from across the room, and locked for the briefest second. Quickly and casually, Ness rotated her head, turning away. Anxiously Ness brushed the long brunette bangs from her face. Her heart beat furiously against rib cage and she was still struggling to find her breath.

For Jacob, it was the happiest feeling, to see Ness was already staring at him. It was not the least bit creepy or uncomfortable as she did so. She was starry eyed and that was how he knew she loved him. Maybe she'd never say it, perhaps she did not know it, but Jacob felt it in his bones, in his heart.

On the other hand, he knew he was in love with her by the way he couldn't take his eyes of her. He could just stare at her while she was in a deep sleep. It gave him complete joy.

Stepping away from the conversation, he headed towards her. The mood she was in was written all over her face. Jacob wanted to take her home so she could head to bed.

From behind he could see her biting on her thumb nail. Even the simplest things made him smile. Wrapping his arms around her neck and while resting his chin on her shoulder, he asked, "You ready for me to take you home? You look dead tired."

She nodded.

"You wanna say bye to your dad?"

"I should."

"I'll put the presents in the car and you start saying goodbye to everyone."

She did so. One by one, she offered hugs and Merry Christmas'. Then she came to her father. She smiled and politely said, "Merry Christmas." He recited the exact words she spoke. Then she left.

The sting and welled up anger that filled Ness with anger had faded. The sight of her father now only left her pessimistic. She figured Edward and she would never have a relationship again. It was something she was beginning to accept.

Once Jacob and Ness made it to the undersized home, Jacob opened the car door.

Greeted with his jolly face, the sight of him in this cold weather influenced a great desire in Ness. The snow glided in front of his face and like smoke his breath floated up around it. The coat covered his neck and his nose was already red. For some reason his tan eyes remained warm. The girl did not know whether or not she wanted to kiss his lips or make him hot chocolate. Either way, she knew she would warm him up.

The snow was beginning to slow and things began to ice over. Because of that, Jacob wanted to make sure she made it into the house safely. After attentively walking her inside the house, Jacob brought the gifts in. When he finished, he came in to tell her goodnight.

Despite her eagerness for them to become less comfortable with one another, Jake found himself wanting to stay over. For him, sleeping in the same bed, was too comfortable. It gave the illusion of a relationship. And as far as Renesmee was concerned, they were not a couple. He still could not make sense as to why she wanted them to distance themselves from one another, but he was giving her what she wanted. Then he remembered Charlene might have something to do with it, and his dishonesty with Ness.

Sadly, Jacob walked into her room to say goodbye. He found Renesmee fast asleep on her bed, flats still on her feet and her coat half off. It appeared as though she made an attempt to take the thing off. Lovingly, he removed her coat and separated the shoes from her soles. Her feet were frozen. Rummaging through her top drawer he found a pair of socks and rolled them up her feet. As he went for the button on her slacks, he halted. She might not like him very much in the morning. So instead of taking off her pants, he only unbuttoned the button to give her stomach room to breathe.

In a moment of veneration, Jacob's hand went to her pregnant belly. The contact caused Ness to stir. Upon her settling into a comfortable position, Jacob kissed her belly then her forehead and covered her in thick blankets.

Even though he was about to head to his father's, he couldn't leave her without saying goodbye. That night he slept on the couch, unable to sleep. He was so excited to spent Christmas morning with her.

+Christmas Morning+

Ness woke up by a slight nudge. Flicking her eyes open, she squinted allowing her eyes to adjust to the brightness. It was odd, because she had black out curtain in her bedroom. Not wanting to wake, she pressed her eyes closed and placed a pillow over her face.

An eager and familiar voice spoke to her. "Come on Ness wake up."

She grunted as the pillow magically lifted from her face. Jake said,"It's Christmas wake up."

"I wanna sleep," she moaned.

"I know baby, but you have to be at church with your family at nine then your grandparent for breakfast," he informed.

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she stretched. As she arched her back, pushing her belly further into the air, she asked, "Are you going to come with me?"

"Uhm, I guess I could. If you really want me to."

"I don't want to make you go."

"I'll go, but you have to open your presents before we leave."

Begrudgingly she got up, and changed into sweatpants. When she came out of her room, she spotted a chunk of mistletoe handing above the door. Thoughtlessly she ripped it down and tossed it in her bathroom trashcan. Jacob really thought he could get away with that one.

When she walked into the living room, she truly felt Christmas. In the corner, the miniature three foot tree she had picked out stood. To give it height Ness propped it up on her coffee able. The gold and red decorations on the tree were not expensive but Ness loved them because she and Jacob picked them out together. At the top was a shiny glittered gold star. Jacob actually brought it back from Oregon with him and Ness loved it. The fabric ribbon she picked out, elegantly wrapped around the pine. The gold and red ornaments shimmered and reflected the twinkling Christmas lights. She loved everything about their Christmas tree.

Nessie's tummy bubbled in delight, she was fond of this sense of unity her and Jacob had in the tree. It was something they shared. It felt like old times.

Jacob sat at its base crossed legged like a child. He was ready to open presents.

One by one they opened each present. Ness had somehow found the cash to buy Jacob some new clothes and a pair of shoes as well as a few things for his dorm. His favorite was the matching University of Washinton t-shirts. One for him, one mini sized one for the baby.

Jacob picked out each gift for Ness matter how personal he wanted to get with the presents, he recalled how touchy she got with gifts. So each and every one was somehow associated with Kai. Except for one.

Before he gave his final gift, he handed over a thick golden envelope.

"Your dad gave this to me. Said we should open it together."

Ness took the glossy envelope from his hand and cautiously opened it.

Jacob watched as she pulled a decadently designed card. He could have sworn that card cost more than his car.

Nessie's jaw dropped, her plumb lips made an "o" shape. Her eyes continued to scan the Christmas card as she read. Finally, holding up a check, she said, "It's fifteen hundred dollars."

"Shit…"he muttered agitated. He then handed over another envelope. "Here's mine."

"Another gift?" she asked, a tad bit irked by her father's so called generous gift.

He nodded.

Ness ripped the envelope open, she did it so carelessly compared to her father's.

When she pulled out the stack of cash, she counted the randon bills. The sight evoked appreciation. Ness spontaneously broke out in tears. She dropped to the floor by Jacob's side and hugged him.

"Oh Jacob," she sighed," thank you."

She appreciated him so much. She knew he must have been working so hard to earn that money. She knew he did whatever he could to keep her happy. But there were things he needed, things the baby needed. Why would he just hand over money, especially since he's been helping her out with bills.

She cried over this because she did not deserve his generous gift. She did not deserve him.

Hugging her back, he held the oddest sense of confusion. He had only given her hundred dollars cash, to spend how she pleased and her father offered over a thousand.

Eventually, her tears dried up.

Holding up the check Edward had written out, she questioned, "Should _we_ take this?"

Jacob shrugged as she handed it over to him. "It's up to you, Ness."

"My dad said it's for both of _us_. To help get stuff for the baby, or whatever."

Giving the check back to Renesmee, Jacob said, "The checks written in your name."

The sense of unity Ness thought she was feeling, vanished. It was no longer _we_, but I.

"We should save it for Kai," she stated. With Jacob's gift in hand, she jutted the cash into his face. "And I want you to keep this."

He informed, "I worked over time for that."

"Thank You but, you earned it. Get something you need."

"You still coming to my Seattle game?" he queried.

She nodded.

We'll go pick out a crib while we're up there. So put the money toward the crib."

Chosing not to argue, for the time being, she forgot about the cash he had given her.

She went on and on, about how excited she was to see him play a game in person. And not only that, she was looking forward to have a mini-vacation from work. As she breathlessly explained in detail her plan, Jacob laughed. He could tell she was really excited because she planned out. But Jacob had some plans of his own.

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**Author's Note**: FYI this is a crappy, crappy chapter. It does not match up with the preview I gave ya'll, I know. BUT it's been entirely too long and I had to get something up so here ya go.

I guess I was tryng to show the subtlness of Nessie's feelings. She's surly feeling something for Jake, and he can feel it. I should be updated the next chapter soon. Also I'm sorry for not name dropping and thanking each and every one of you. I swear I will next time, I wanted to get this up and it was getting late and I have work in the morning. I don't think three hours of sleep will be enough to get me through the day. Ugh! But it's all my fault. If you still want another update let me know. LOVE YOU ALL. -3H


	29. Status Quo

Author's Note #1: Now, this is a long eventful chapter. I feel sometimes a lengthy chapter loses people's attention. I am sorry if you are one of those people, but please pay attention and continue to read. I really hope you love this chapter.

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_"The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It's not that we seize them, they seize us."_

**Chapter Twenty Nine –Status Quo –**

(31 weeks 3 days)

In the highest spirits, Ness stepped outdoors. The air was crisp and the early morning skies were clear. Entrusting Claire to drive her car, she climbed into the passenger seat bundled in a patchwork quilt. The sage and tan fabric was pieced together and backed with patterned fleece. The blanket was never intended for the teenager, but it was a gift for her unborn child. She couldn't help herself, it had healing powers. Since she's had it her health had been better. At least that's what she told herself.

With a fixed gaze, Ness watched the dawn sky turn blue. About an hour and a half into their three hour journey, the teen began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. She was glad she had Claire drive since she was having the general aches and pains that come with pregnancy. A similar sensation of menstrual cramps progressively got worse and it radiated in her back.

Sooner or later, the discomfort subsided as Claire continued to pry about the status quo with Jacob. She mind as well should have poked and prodded her with a fire poker, it would have the same effect on Ness. It angered her and each question was as painful as the next. _Big brother Jacob doesn't want to be with me for me, _she thought,_ he wants me because the baby, because I'm his brand of antidepressant medication. _As Ness thought these comments over, she wondered if she could accept them. _What does he see in me?_ She contemplated. _Jacob always loved me but Kai...Kai gives him a real reason to love me_.

After shooting down each relationship question, the majority of the drive Ness listened as Claire shamelessly speak about sex, and how in love she was with Quil. Then she manipulated the conversation into speaking about Jacob. With the girl's lack of response, you would think Claire could take a hint. Nessie's nerves were wearing thin and she realized the drive to Seattle was taking much longer than she had hoped.

Don't get things wrong, Ness loves Claire, and her forwardness but sometimes, she needed to shut up and mind her own business. Eventually, Ness gave in and made the mistake to tell her about the kiss they had a few months ago. That was when Claire exploded with excitement nearly swerving off the road.

That was the final straw. Claire was a distracted driver, and all Ness could think about was the safety of Kai. She at least wanted to meet her child. In hopes to do that, she suggested they take a much needed rest stop. After they took bathroom breaks and picked up a sugary doughnut for breakfast, a tired Ness took over driving duty. Luckily, Claire crashed and gave her time to think in silence.

The only thing she could think of, as usual, was Jacob. He was such a wonderful person- empathetic and easygoing. He was patient with her, attentive, respectful and he treated her as such on the night she lost her virginity. She really wanted to experience that again, and it could only be with him. For some reason no one else would do.

On top of how wonderful he was to her that night and in general, he was in love with her. The feelings he held for her were not mutual. It did not make sense in her head for he was perfect. She just couldn't bring herself to believe she was in love with him. What she felt for him had not yet changed. It was still that same warm feeling in the pit of her stomach, that static shock when he touched her skin and her inability to not smile at his face. In Nessie's opinion, that's how feelings with a best friend should feel.

With thoughts of Jake, the baby kicked. And for the first time, she was fine with being pregnant. Sure, this was not how she planned to have her first child, but at last she accepted things as they were. Also, with Jacob and his support, she actually was beginning to look forward to being a mother.

Claire and Renesmee met their friends at the game. Quil and Claire were attached at the lips while Seth and Brady actually paid attention to the game. For Ness, she seemed to tune out all the things around her. The cheers and sounds appeared dull. And when her back aches and cramps weren't bothering her, her entire focus was on Jacob.

Football was a sport the girl could never understand. The one thing she knew about the game, was that Jacob enjoyed playing and he looked damn good in his uniform. Even during high school games, he was the reason she could sit through a two hour game. The way his form fitting uniform emphasized the built up muscles on his legs made her drool. She tried very hard to watch his calves, hamstrings, and glute muscles work in unison with his bones as his legs carried him closer towards the end zone. Her eyes went back and forth between the huge screen and the field. It was easier to see Jacob on the screen.

Despite being in Husky territory, Oregon state fans cheered and hollered. Even in enemy territory she saw Jacob's name written across excited girl's sweatshirts, men wearing hats with his number and jerseys with his last name across the back. Perhaps, there was a hint of jealousy as she saw college girls swoon as the announcer spoke Jacob's name. Looking up to the mega screen they zoomed in on him after he scored a touchdown. When she saw him tap his helmet with his forefinger, she forgot all about those stupid college girls.

Ness overheard Brady asked Seth, "Why does he do that?"

"I dunno?" he replied, "He's done it since Junior year."

Being in on that secret, Ness giggled. He said that whenever he did that, it meant he was thinking about her.

Ultimately his team lost.

** (*)**Following the game the group met at a local restaurant to eat a late lunch, Leah included. Embry, more obnoxious then usual gloated and playfully hazed Jake about his team winning. Jake sat back allowing the guys to continue badgering. He brushed the lint of annoyance off his shoulder and put all focus on Renesmee. And although Leah's presence was torturous, Jake's behavior made her feel valuable. His arm was slung behind her back, and every now and then he'd lean in and whisper into her ear. Usually, it was to make fun of Emrby's odd behavior but either way Ness liked the attention the young man was giving her.

Then she had to question Jake's motives when she noticed Leah's pensive glare. Her intent brown orbs were judgemental, shifting between Renesmee and Jacob. It was unpleasant and then she wondered if Leah still had feelings for the father of her child. Or was Jacob flaunting Ness infront of Leah? He wasn't ignoring her and not speaking to her the same way he chatted with everyone else around the table. It made Ness crazy.

Feeling a bit possessive, Ness set her and Jacob's connection on display. When the baby moved, she made sure everyone knew by telling"daddy" to feel his child kicking "mommy" from the inside.

From that point Leah no longer stared down Ness, but she joined in with Embry, teasing Jacob about his losing. They laughed and were completey at ease with one another until Embry slung his arm behind Leah. Ness knew nothing about their sudden tension until Jacob pointed it out. It was weird that he was so observant of their behavior, when all she could so was focus on him, and Leah's harsh eye.

When Leah and Embry's tension died down, Ness found it the opportune moment to ask why she had such a problem with her. Perhaps it was a bit bit childish, but Ness wanted to interogate Leah. She waited for the cue. Shifting around Leah seemed nervous, and desperate to say something. The moment he eyes darted to Jacob, Ness snapped. She did not know where the sudden courage came from but she spoke directly to Leah. The one whole had Jacob's virginity, the judgmental girl that never gave her the time of day. Dear aunt Leah, who had not make an effort to be friendly after her mother married Nessie's grandfather. she still didn't even consider Ness her niece, by marrage. And she never understood why she Regardless of this and his team's loss, she had never been more proud of him. He carried that team and even Embry knew his potential.

Unannounced to Ness, Jake had the boys take Claire home and he surprised her with a visit to a Seattle baby boutique. In spite of everything being so expensive, she happily pranced around the store looking at all the baby gear. Jacob was glad to actually see her contented for once. If he did not know better, he would assume she was excited for the baby. Seeing her behave this way, was much better than seeing her so morbid over the entire pregnancy.

"Do you want a boy or a girl?" Jake wondered poking through a rack of tiny blue t-shirts.

She shrugged. "I don't know, maybe a boy. A mini you running around would be nice," she said with an uncontrollable smile. Truly, she loved the idea of a baby boy that had his dark hair, his vibrant eyes, the tip of his nose and an unnaturally white smile. A baby identical to Jacob would be a perfect child.

"What about you?" she wondered, "What do you want?"

"A healthy baby."

"Aw, your answer is better than mine," she declared reaching for his hand.

Jacob was dumbstruck, as well as excited when she laced their fingers together. The thrill was as fresh as a thirteen year old boy holding a girls hand for the first time. The contact made the father to be's heart nearly burst. Holding hands was not a typical act between these teens. Sure, they've held hands once before. Usually, it was a cupped clasp and only when they were at a crowded party, or when they'd force one another to a particular direction. The gesture revealed that Ness was ,somewhat, acknowledging the chemistry she and Jake had. Her true feelings were still unknown to her.

As they strolled through the aisles looking at strollers as well as cribs, she tightened her fingers around his knuckles and held tight to his arm. He chuckled and as he leaned down to kiss her cheek, he paused waiting for her to pull away.

Anticipating the kiss to her cheekbone, she interrogated him on his delay. "What?"

He was astonished, she didn't even flinch as he went to kiss her. It had been a very long time since she had not recoiled at his touch.

"Nothing," he retorted laying a quick kiss to her eyebrow. It was comforting and loving, but for Renesmee it wasn't enough anymore. She was actually disappointed in him. He didn't even try to kiss her on the cheek or on the lips.

They continued walking around the store, Nessie's mood altered from glee to a dejected joy. Noticing her melancholy attitude, Jake decided he would not give into the awkwardness. He initiated a conversation. "I know we choose green and brown but why don't you like blue, or pink?"

She snapped, "Because it's generic. I don't like being cliché."

Sending a tight squeeze to her hand and a nudge to her shoulder, he probed her. "You like to do things differently than everyone else huh?"

She nodded. The little gesture he gave, pulled her away from her temperamental attitude.

"Being unique suits you."

They halted to look one another in the eyes. She tried to keep a straight face, but she cracked a smile. To fight it she bit the tip of her tongue between her teeth. That was a fail and her smile radiated as she bite the tip of her tongue and scrunched up her nose. That smile paralyzed eyes lit up like twinkling stars. And for a second he was lost in them. It made him fall more deeply in love with her. His gaze turned somber and his thumb stroked the flesh on her index finger.

The intimation of that action, wiped the smirk of Renesmee's face. Suddenly, she was very aware of his lips and he of hers, but she turned away. With her fingers gliding across the rails of a simple white crib, she countered, "Are you calling me weird?"

"No," he defended himself, "I'm saying you don't blend. You're not average." His tone softened as his free hand pushed her wavy hair behind her ear, "Incomparable. You don't like to be traditional. You stand out in everything you do and you do what you want, wear what you want, act how you want. You know? Stuff like that."

Apparently, he didn't realize she was trying to tease him because his speech was completely genuine. Averting her eyes and bowing her head, he responded to him. "Don't get me wrong, I like being traditional too. I would have liked to have been married and graduated from college before I had kids but," she paused and cocked a brow looking down at her ever expanding belly, "things don't always go according to plan. I turned out like my parents, sort of."

Her hand slipped from his and she clung to the railing of the same white crib. Again, her mood went into a downcast. She could not help it when she thought of her father. Her stare was fixed at the bedding but she was lost in her thoughts. "_He _hasn't even said sorry," she muttered. It was painful whisper.

Jacob didn't even have to ask, he knew who she was speaking about. The best he could do was wrap his arm around her shoulder and let her pour out her feelings.

She continued, "That check he gave us was some sort of buyout. Like I'm going to forgive him just because he gave me money. It's fuckin' bullshit. I think I should give it back."

"Ness, we could use that money. I sorta counted on it for the crib. And Kai could still use tons of things."

"Taking it is seriously like saying I've forgivin him. And I don't forgive him Jacob. He was so mean to you."

"It's not about me."

She whined, " He hasn't even tried to say he was sorry for anything."

"Don't dwell on it."

"I can't help it," she grumbled fastening her arms around her midsection, " I haven't spoken a word to him since Christmas."

Draping his arms around her shoulders, he brought a hand up to pet her head. "I'm sorry baby."

Ignoring all passerby's, they hugged one another for some time in the middle of the store. Jake settled his cheek at her crown focusing on her plump belly pressing into his body. Lying her head to his chest, her view was on the white crib that was straight out of yesteryear. It was a timeless piece. The vertical rungs were carved and the price was reasonable.

"I think I like this one," she declared, "It's only two hundred and twenty."

Jacob stepped back looking at the piece of furniture. "Isn't white kinda girly?"

With pink paisley bedding, she slightly agreed. "I like it though and it's on sale."

"What if we have a boy?" he questioned. From that comment alone, ness knew that he wanted a boy.

"He'll live."

She picked up the price tag and turned it over to read the information on the back. "Would you like it if it came in…espresso? That's a dark brown."

"Yeah, I would like it better if it came in another color."

"Well it does."

"Well," he mocked, "let's get it."

Later, after stuffing the box that held the crib in the back seat of the Volvo, along with bedding and a rug, the couple headed back home. Jacob was baffled at Ness, who sat in the passenger seat penning her Economics homework on a lined piece of paper. Only God knows how she did it and it still be eligible.

The sound of Jacob singing, "_That'll be the da-Ay that I die_," caught Nessie's attention. When she looked over to see Jacob bobbed his head to the song. She couldn't recall a time, she saw him so innocent. He caught her staring and he continued to channel Buddy Holly, "_You know you love me, baby. Still you tell me maybe..."_

Ness laughed out loud and Jake showed his winning smile. She asked, "Do you really like to listen to Oldies?"

His bright smile faded. "Yeah," he said with a faint smirk, "It reminds me of my mom."

Closing her book and laying it across her lap, she put her entire heart into the conversation. "Why?"  
His grip tightened around the steering wheel and he inhaled a deep breath. Ness saw how he tried to hide his emotions but she encouraged him to talk about this. She pointed at the radio. "Did your mom used to listen to this?"

"Saturday's were cleaning day. My sister's did whatever chores mom told 'em to do and I cleaned my room then helped my dad outback. The radio was blaring throughout the house. And it was always oldies. She'd crack the windows too, so my dad and I could hear it in the garage."

Jake gnawed at his bottom lip his eyes were glued to the road. "Did you want me to change the station?"

She shook her head. "No."

Sucking in a breath, she dismissed the pain in her side and took a look at the scenery out the car windows. None of the surroundings appeared familiar. Then the sign welcoming them to Port Townsend caught her eye.

"Jake where are we going?"

"Home."

"The sign says we're in Port Townsend."

"SO?"

"You're lost."

"I'm not lost."

Renesmee did not know what came over her, but she was furious. Port Townsend was the wrong direction of Forks. She was right, Jacob was lost.

"I was fucking doing my homework, you got yourself lost," she huffed and crossed her arms. As she pouted, she glanced over to see if he was offended by her comment, but she could see the tip of lip curved up. He was trying not to laugh.

"What!" she shouted. He bit his lip and shook his head.

"When are going to turn around?"

"I'm not lost Ness."

"Yes you are. Do you know where Port Townsend is? It's North of Seattle. It's were your prom was."

"Was it?"

She pointed out the window, pointing at the Tulalip Resort and Casino. "Your prom was there! Damn it Jacob I'm hungry and tired and it's just going to take longer to get home."

He pulled into the parking lot and said, "I'm just messing with you, calm down. I heard the food here is good. Let's eat here."

All the animosity was wiped clean of Nessie's slate. "I'll eat anywhere, I'm starving."

Reluctantly Ness followed him into the smoky casino. The lights on the slot machines flashed and the dings of people winning rang in the teen's ears. Part of Ness wanted to stay and gamble. She was now eighteen and though winning some extra money might be nice but there was too much cigarette smoke in the air. Taking her hand, Jake guided her to a smoke free restaurant called, Cedar's Café. Wanting to be alone, Jake requested to sit in the area that had less people.

They sat at a table in a private area. The place was of contemporary modern décor. A curved wall of horsetail plants separated them from the buffet next door and a faux starry ceiling was overhead.

Ness lightened up and she loved that it felt like she was on vacation- away from all her responsibilities, although one responsibility grew inside her. It was something she found hard to ignore. Not only because the baby was physically inside her, but throughout the day her back ached worse than she's ever felt in her entire life. It was like something had a tight grip on her sides. She knew it was because of the pregnancy and the pain made her lose her appetite.

The two ordered and ate quietly conversing of Kai. No birth plan was mapped out, and Ness was regretting not taking Lamaze class. Jacob asked her not to stress over anything tonight. Then she wanted to know how things would work out with Jacob being in Oregon. He gave the news that Washington State accepted him, and was to transfer in the summer.

While she thought over the exciting news, Jacob went to pay the bill. When he came back, he led her to an elevator. They went up to the forth floor and Jacob lead her to room number four-zero-six.

"Tired?" he asked sliding the card key through the slot.

"You're joking?"

He smiled stepping through the hotel room door. "No, when I paid for the food, I checked us in."

Automatically, Nessie's stupid legs lead her into the hotel room. A wave of emotion hit when she saw the room; the same exact room, the same beds, the same carpet, lamps, bedding and pillows. Flashbacks of prom night, got her thinking. _Did he want to have sex tonight_? Her heart thudded and she felt her legs tremble. The heaviness settled in her chest and her feet anchored her down to the spot she stood. She was nervous about what he had planned.

"I-I don't have any pajamas or clothes, " she breathed.

"You'll survive a night without pajamas."

"Could you do me a favor," She questioned not giving him a chance to answer, "and get my book bag form the car."

"What for?"

"I have some homework I need to finish," she said placing her hand upon the desk chair. "I could do it here."

"Sure, I have some extra clothes in my bag," he informed and without hesitation he obeyed.

The second he left the room, she paced around the room, anxious. She wasn't prepared to have sex with him, especially with a huge pregnant belly and her side cramps coming back. Again she disregarded what he body was trying to tell her and worried about Jacob's return.

The door opened and in walked Jacob with a backpack. Setting it on the floor by the desk, he questioned, "Are you really going to do your homework?"

She shrugged, "If I want to graduate."

Jake did not reply, her answer was good enough. With the baby coming in a couple months, she would need to get as much school work done as possible because come February they'd have no time for anything.

Jake laid on the same exact mattress that Ness offered her virginity to him on. _Seduced would be the right word_. That night she actually seduced the then high school senior. _She wanted it_, he pondered. Why did he seem so desirable to her that night, and not after? It made no sense to him. If he could take that night back, he might have brought a condom. But there was no use in delaying the inevitable. He would have eventually had a baby with her anyways. Whether it be now or five years from now, he knew she would be the mother of his children.

With his back pressed against pillows and head resting on the headboard he watched television, but could not pay attention to what was happening. He observed Renesmee, for the past few hours she had worked on her homework and he was becoming irritated. Mostly because he could tell how much frustration she had with whatever it was she was working on. She erased whatever she wrote as if it were written in permanent marker. She sighed and huffed and tugged at her silky hair all night. Soon enough she quieted down and he could rest easy again knowing she was content.

He hated seeing her nervous. Which is why he left her alone when she chose to do homework instead of spend time with him. Yes, he recognized her panic when he made the comment about her living without pajamas for a night. The instant those words left his mouth, he regretted it. It gave Ness the wrong impression. His intentions were pure. He merely wanted to spend the evening with her, maybe watch a movie and cuddle. If that lead to them making out, or by the glory of God making love, so be it. However, he didn't have high hopes for either.

Time was all he wanted and maybe they could talk about life. They could reminisce about the night they conceived their child and how much has change in such a short period of time. So far everything had gone according to plan. They picked out a crib and Ness miraculously opened up about her feelings and at dinner she asked for his help. She wanted to know if he could help her with her cellphone bill. Of course he offered to help, he wanted to take care of her. He'll always help her when she needed it.

"Do you need help?" he asked, seeing that she had become frustrated again with the work she was doing.

Resting her chin in her palm, she looked back at him. "Yeah. I can't solve this problem."

"Let's see," he said, lifting himself from the bed.

Coming to her side, he put his arm across her back and laid his hand on her shoulder. Ness didn't give the touch a second thought, she only informed him, "I keep getting the wrong answer._ C_ is the constant isn't it?"

"Go through the steps slower and use the formulas."

He began to massage her neck and kneed her shoulders as she took another attempt at the problem. To think about it, it was strange. Though, it did not faze Ness and Jacob.

When she finished up the summation equation, Jake applauded her effort. "That's right!" he exclaimed.

"Ugh! I hate math. It's such a waste of time," she grumbled, "It was easier when I had a teacher."

"You have me," he said ruffling her hair.

She swatted his hand away. "Why are you so good at math?"

"Because unlike you, I'm smart," he teased.

+Later on that Evening+

Waking to the sound of an infomercial, Jake stretched. With his eyelids sealed together he kicked off his jeans and removed his shirt. He attempted to fall back asleep but the volume on the television seemed like a dull roar. His hand patted around the mattress searching for the remote control. When he couldn't find it, he sat up and spotted Ness asleep at the desk. Her cheek laid across the page of her textbook and her right hand held a mechanical pencil. Scurrying to get off the bed, his foot knocked the remote on the floor. He collected the changer and clicked the television off.

Tiredly shuffling to Nessie's side, he called her, "Ness?"

Yawning, Jake covered his mouth while simultaneously caressing the back of her neck with his fingertips. "Nessie?"

Groggily, the girls head rose from her school book.

Jacob bent down to see her eye to eye."Why don't you go take a shower?"

She whimpered sleepily and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "I'm gonna finish my homework first."

"Hey," he stated taking the pencil from her hand, then gently setting it between the pages of her Calculus book. She looked up to the boy that towered over her. He continued, " you've worked on it all night. Go take a shower and come to bed."

Ness gave in. She was tired and caught up on homework. Actually, she was four weeks ahead on her work. If she kept the hard work up, she could graduate in a few weeks. She only continued to do her homework that night because she didn't think she was mentally prepared to have sex with Jacob that night. Things were so different from months ago.

Things were most definitely different. Maybe even her feelings towards him even. She loved him, her admiration for him was at an all time high and her sexual desire was through the roof. She's never wanted him this bad, but it couldn't mean she was in love with him. Could it?

So as much as wanted to deny it, she could see that she might have developed a crush on him. Most people developed crushes on their best friends and Ness was sure it would fade soon enough.

After her shower, she slipped her underwear back on. It was all she had and she was not about to run around with no underwear on. With concern she questioned whether or not Jacob would make a move on her. Gazing upon herself in a mirror, she felt the heaviness of her breasts. They weren't much bigger, but fully. Thankfully they were still perky and staying in place, where they should be. Stepping sideways to see her body's silhouette she realized she was not ashamed of her belly-not as she once was. _God makes no mistakes_, she reassured. Only, she was petrified that he wouldn't find her body attractive.

She couldn't have sex with him tonight, she couldn't let him see her naked and pregnant. It would be much too awkward. But she knew she'd have sex with him again, only she did not want to be pregnant. Subconsciously, she made a plan to be prepared for that next time, which included working out, waxing, shaving and maybe tanning.

Taking a robe from the bathroom cabinet she swathed her body in the luxurious fabric and waddled back into the room.

Twisting open a water bottle from the minibar and taking a gulp, she heard Jacob say, "There's an extra t-shirt in my bag."

Glancing around the hotel, she could not spot the bag. "Where's your bag?"

" It's in the corner," he informed pointing to the corner of the room. Shuffling to the corner of the room, Ness sat at the arm chair and leaned over to pull up the bag. Rummaging through the duffle she found the extra large navy tee. Paying no mind to Jacob, she stood with her back facing him. The cotton negligee was stripped from her body revealing her milky back partly covered by her cinnamon hair. Lace trimmed underwear exposed most of her bare bottom and the dim room's shadows accented the dimples that graced her back. She wasn't as toned as she once was, but at the sight, Jacob's insides still trembled with attraction.

As she slide the shirt overhead, Jake saw as she sniffed it, and smirked. It smelt of Jacob- fresh rain and pine.

He too smirked, since he caught a peek of her side boob. It had been so long since he'd see that piece of flesh. If he had his way, he'd violate her in the most pleasurable way.

Throwing his head back on the pillow, he collected his thoughts. _When she's ready, she'll initiate it. _

Twirling around, she looked upon an exhausted Jacob. A fractional piece of her hoped he'd be admiring her, but he only wanted to sleep apparently.

In Jacob's disappointment, she sat on the other bed, then fell backwards. The boy assumed she had chosen where she would spend the night.

Rolling over Jacob sighed. Things between them would never evolve, would they? Tucking a pillow beneath his head and settling into a comfortable position, Jake aloofly said, "Good night Ness."

His tone, caught her attention. Rolling her head over onto her damn hair, she examined him.

Lying on his side, his back was to her. He coiled himself in a man's version of the fetal position and gazed out the tiny sliver between the window treatments.

Unsettled and lost at his indifference, she responded, "Night?"

From the other bed, she stared at him. By now, her hair had dried. Through the curtains, she could tell the moon had risen higher into the night sky. The blankets had not been pulled over her body and she had yet to collect a pillow to place it beneath her head. Jake's monotone voice saying goodnight echoed in her mind. The way he said it deeply bothered her. Was he mad? Ness searched for the answer. She replayed the entire day out in her head, hunting for one thing she might have done wrong. Only, she could not find the mistake she made. It was a flawless day.

Regardless of his team losing against Embry's, Jake was cheerful. Seriously, not one argument, or even the slightest bickering, besides when she thought he was lost. She held her tongue when he shelled out the "x" amount of money for this hotel and he kept his mouth shut when it came to her doing her homework. That was the low points of the day but still, they agreed on a crib, and the place to eat. Ness genuinely thought the day had gone by without a hitch.

Not liking how his goodnight settled in her stomach, Ness called to him. "Jake?"

No answer. Sitting up, she looked over to the clock on the wall. The shadowy light made it difficult for her to read the time. She heaved herself up and from to bed to see the time. Blinking her eyes in disbelief she saw it was nearly three thiry in the morning. _Did I really stare at him for the past few hours? _she asked herself in disbelief. _Who does that_?

Overlooking the lost time, Renesmee waddled her way towards Jacob. She wanted them to say goodnight to one another and mean it. She sat at his side. The mattress sank below her. She grunted feeling fatter than ever.

The sight of his body glowing in the moonlight, gave Nessie's soul a wrenching reaction. The view of his god-like body thrilled her just as much as it left her baffled. How was he able to have such a perfect body? Without even a feeble thought, she touched him. Her fingers grazed over the rigid knolls of his back. His skin was smooth, warm, tan. Ness withdrew her hand when she realized what she was doing. Mindlessly touching someone was creepy. Was it not creepy? She smiled. Perhaps, it's a little creepy, but it was only Jacob. Reaching again for his back, Ness let her hand skim his shoulder blades then slowly, she dragged her palm down his back. Lightly her fingers touched the dimples on his lower back. Her fingers dipped the curve of his back, following the trail of his spine. Coming to his neck, she did not stop, her hand crept up the back of his head, and combed through his thick hair. In hopes to wake him, she lightly kneaded at his scalp. He did not wake. Not even the slightest budge or shift.

Detaching her hand from his hair, she felt unfulfilled. Ness could not even begin to explain what feelings were buried deep inside her chest. If only she chose to dig, she'd find truth. She'd see these strange sensations were so much more than platonic or lustful.

Either way, she wanted him awake, she wanted him to know she came to be by his side, to sleep and dream with him. Recalling the past, Ness saw that this feeling was not new. She always had wanted him to wrap his arms around her as they drifted off to sleep. It wasn't for protection or even comfort, she just wanted to feel how much he cared for her. He had

If only she could kiss him and wish him goodnight.

"Jake," she said nudging at his shoulder.

"Hmm?" he responded rolling over.

"Uhm," she paused. What was she to say? "_Oh hey I woke you up to tell you goodnight_." How conflicting and stupid was that?

She lied, " Uh the baby's kicking."

Jake's slowly rolled over, his hand darting to her stomach. "I don't feel anything,"

"Oh?" she muttered, laying down beside him.

He pulled his hand from the belly and shut his eyes. He prayed she would make some move, that she would thaw out the ice she built up around her. Or was he to do that?

When she rolled over on her side, facing the opposite direction of Jake, he had the last straw. Fed up with her distance, he asked her, "Why are you distancing yourself from me?"

"I'm not," she mumbled. Luckily, the baby did start to kick and it was an excuse for Jacob to touch her. "Gimme your hand."

She reached back and grabbed his hand placing his palm just under her navel. Beneath his hand was the drumming of the kids movement, and Jake just couldn't believe he and Ness created this being growing inside her. "Scoot closer to me Jake."

He did, but kept his distance.

"Closer," she ordered. She wanted to feel his heat, to have his body actually pressed up against hers.

Submissive to her orders, the front of his body molded to her back, his hand never leaving the baby.

He kissed her neck and whispered into her ear, "Remember when you wouldn't even let me touch you?"

"I was uncomfortable, but really, I don't mind."

She rested in his arms, in the most comfortable and warm embrace. An embrace she's experienced before. The feeling when everything is fine in the world and utterly perfect because you're wrapped in your best friend's arms.

"It's feels like it used to be," she said.

"I think it's better than it used to be."

"Yeah," she agreed letting her eyelids tiredly shut "How did you remember it was this room?"

"How could I forget?"

Slowly, time ticked by. Each began to doze off until Jacob begged, "Ness, look at me."

She peeked over her shoulder, but Jake willed her to roll over and look at him face to face.

"I love you."

She pulled her head back to catch a good look at his expression.

Lifting her chin, she stretched until her lips reached his own. All she intended was a chaste kiss, but she couldn't help her horomones. Softly, she sucked on his lower lip then nibbled as he did the same to her top lip. Then their tongues met, their life and soul passing through one another as they exchanged breaths. This wasn't urgent or lust driven, they simply made out.

With their tongues dancing, she draped her left leg over his body then cut the kiss short. She laid one last chaste kiss to his chin, his neck. AS she nuzzled her face into his chest, she placed one final moist kiss on his collar bone then said, " I love you too Jake. Night."

"Good night."

Whatever came over Ness, Jacob prayed it haunted her for a lifetime. Maybe it was this hotel room. If it was he would live out the rest of his life here. He'd remember the night he made love to her, the night they created a life together. And he would remember this night. It was the first kiss they had that she initiated since the last time they were in this hotel room.

That night, he held her as tightly as he could. Her leg remained wrapped around him and her arms bound around his neck. It was slightly awkward with her bulging belly but, that was okay with him. His hand glided up and down the side of the bare thigh laying across his body. Each time he to choose to let his hand journey further up until he finally reached her butt, then the small of her back, then the bare skin beneath her shirt. Truly, she did not mind his touching. It was comfortable and soothing as he rubbed circles into her back. And he, he was glad he fell asleep with this women in his arms and their child safely in a flesh cocoon between them.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_: I HAD TO SPLIT THIS CHAPTER IN TWO. It was my intention to have a long chapter, then I realized "holy cow! this is waaaay to long." SO this means you have more time to VOTE on the gender if you haven't already. My sincerest apologies for the delay and the fact that it kinda sucked towards the end. SORRY. I feel extremely guilty for taking so long to update. I really have no excuses, except when I get home from work I crash. After a nap I wake and begin to write, only to fall asleep with a laptop on my lap. Again I am sorry, also I really hope I haven't lost your interest. (WHAT I CAN DO IS PROMIE FUTURE LEMONS. Sound good?)

Now, if you can't tell Ness is so conflicted with her feelings now, unlike before where she was so sure she was not in love with him. He even subconsciously made a plan to have sex with Jacob after the baby is born. Also, the part where Jake taps his helmet, I wish I wrote that in earlier instead of it showing up out of nowhere.

**THANKS TO**: cortneyluvsherownedward, sweet and sassy Nessie, brownEyesInControl, ALEXandriaMarieee, Taaay, Meghaja, dkgors, Dazzler916, VaMplrEoBsEsSed280, nfanpepsi, hartleygirl, denica, Saephillips, Tashay789- by the way what's up with Fatal Attraction?, TwilightSy, klarsen117, laffysing, JUSTaDAMNbook, mojojojo152, cocopucks, Dreamcatcher94, luv2beloved, Missinvisible557, lena0123, nessiehugsm gmb7064, Effiecient Vixen, sassymama1973, readobbsessed, .M, theavidreader4life, Alison0279, spacewalken, MionWriter007, changeiswhatiam, gh0stwriter, evil-hazel-18, DelSan13, addcleric and csfla . I thank all ya'll for your support and love. As well as you anon's-

**Respond to ANON'S:**

(Jazzyj)- She's always going to imagine Jake when she sees their child, whether it be a boy or girl. (roxy)- My summer' been boring. I've been working and I don't have Saturdays off so, I don't get to do much. But that's alright I guess. I hope your summer is going well. With the last chapter, I just randomly added it, but it's in chronological order and I sort of wanted to ditch the drama for a chapter, and what a better way to do that than to show them cheerful in the holiday season. Also, it revealed a bit of Nessie's maturity. And everyone wants a boy and Jake will be proud of his kid boy or girl. (Sarah)- Jake isn't perfect but when you love someone you tend to bend over backwards for them. (allibrenny)- She will eventually, but it's gonna take her time to accept him. (bookworm)- Oh romance! It may be in the future… (Breanna Lyn)- THANKS for reading and being addicted. LOVE YOU!


	30. Bittersweet

A/N #1: I re-edited the last chapter because there was something I forgot to add in. It had to do with Leah and Jacob. So if you want you can go back and search for that little section, I put an asterisk (*) star before the paragraph. By the way I HATE, HATE, HATE this chapter, it's given me so many problems, but I hope you like it. It's something ya'll have been looking forward to, I think?

* * *

"It might be because your friend comes through for you in a crisis like no one in your life ever has, and this makes you realize how special this person is to you."

**Chapter 30 –Bittersweet-**

(31 weeks 4 days )

Stepping from the hotel elevator, Jacob had Nessie's book bag strapped to his back and his duffle in one hand. He wouldn't allow her to carry a thing. Not that she minded, but it made her feel inept. Trailing behind him, she tried to quicken her pace but her waddle was not speedy enough to catch up to him. And being pregnant, she didn't want to chance jogging and tripping merely to stroll by his side.

+Earlier that Morning+

A silent beeping woke Ness. Ignoring the sound, she sank back into a light slumber, with Jacob's arms embracing her and his warmth relaxing her. Soon, the beeping returned. Jacob stirred. Gently, he removed his arm- that she was using as a pillow- to look at his phone. Rolling over she attempted to find sleep again, but the beeping started again.

This time, it had awaked Jacob up. Low and raspy, he answered, "Hello?"

The voice was unclear, but Ness was sure it was of the female kind. She knew if it was Charlene, her tolerance with him would rupture.

"Leah?" Jacob inquired. His tone was an inconcludeable mix between vexation and bewilderment.

Instantly, Nessie's ears perked up. Why was Leah calling Jacob?

Her tenor voice was faint, "…_did I wake you_?"

"No, no," he whispered.

Knowing, he sat up. Ness felt the bed fluctuate with a bounce.

He whispered, "What's wrong?"

"_I just need to talk_."

"About?"

"_You know," _she begged. It was evident he had an idea. Ness could tell by the way she spoke.

On the other end, Jake remained quiet.

Following yesterday's lunch -of awkward glances and watchfulness -Renesmee did not approve of Jacob and Leah conversing. Nevertheless, what was she to do? Asking Jacob not to speak with her was not her place.

Leah pressed, _"Please Jacob you know what I want to talk about."_

Noiseless still, Jake did not respond.

"_I'm not disrupting anything am I?"_

"No Ness is asleep," the boy muttered.

Snapping her eyes shut, Renesmee pretended to be as such. Perhaps, he'd continue the conversation.

Titling his head down, he looked down at Nessie's back. Jacob did not want to risk waking her, nor did he want her to hear the conversation. He sighed. "Can-can you hold on?"

"_I guess."_

Removing the covers, Jacob came to his feet. Padding over to the hotel door, he glanced back at his sleeping angel one last time before leaving the room.

Upset, Ness could not force herself to sleep. Although, she decided to lay lazily in bed and think about anything besides the discussion Jake and Leah were having right outside the hotel room. And shooting pain in her back compelled the young women to forget that he was speaking to a women he once dated.

Minutes later, he came back in the room and slipped into bed besides Ness. He nuzzled his nose to her neck. Indignation made her lip curl. Should she say something to him? About Leah, or the discomfort in her back.

As he went to compress his body to her back, she sat up.

Remaining lying down, he reached out to her. His hand lightly squeezed her slim bicep. "It's early go back to bed."

She shook her head, muttering, "You woke me up."

"Sorry," he apologized noticing an atypical look upon her face. Her scowl was twisted in pain. Her eyelids compressed closed and her lips disappeared since they were so tightly pressed together. She breathed slowly in and out of her nostrils.

"Are you feeling okay?" he wondered.

The opening of her almond eyes, gave him relief. She smirked and nodded.

He rubbed her arm, then moved his palm to her belly. " Kai kicking?"

She shook her head again. "Just cramps."

Jake dragged himself up into a stiff sitting position. He was alert and ready. "Should we go to the hospital?"

"No." She almost wanted to smile because of his concern.

It was the pain of her ovaries being tugged on and her abdominal muscles pulled taut. Ness grit her teeth and inhaled through her nostril, to bear down the pain. Coming to her side Jacob draped an arm around her, rubbing her abdomen. He inhaled as she inhaled, exhaled as she exhaled.

When the pain had passed, she reassured," They're just uterine contractions. It's normal."

"But-"

She cut his words short. "I'm fine."

"What if you're going into labor?"

"My water would break, and I'm not due until February twenty eighth."

He scrutinized her, unbelievingly. She noticed and following a several minute discussion – of her assuring him that she was quite fine and if she were going into labor she would know- he finally let it go and said, "Lay down with me."

With no reply, Ness got up and went to the restroom. She was upset. The aches and pains of pregnancy were less important at the moment. She was further bothered by the fact that he had been speaking to Leah a few minutes ago. And he acted as if a discussion –whatever it may be about- was not a big deal, and perhaps is wasn't. But it concerned Renesmee exceedingly.

Heading towards the restroom, she sat on the toilet to relieve herself. There was a substance in the lining of her underwear. She dismissed it, because it was something she became accustomed to in the last few weeks.

Not concerning herself with her body's reactions, she came from the bathroom to find a shirtless Jacob looking over a leather bound binder. Inside was hotel, as well as local information and a menu.

Lifting his eyes, he questioned, "You want breakfast? They have room service."

Remembering something Leah said over the telephone, she mimicked the_ other _women._ "I guess?" _

Minutes ticked by. Jacob had already ordered their breakfast and it was brought up to their room.

Renesmee, found it difficult to consume a thing. With her mind drowned in thoughts of Leah and Jacob, as well as her body being sore and achy, she did not have much of an appetite. Food really was not a priority. It had to be a lack of logic, but she could not pull her thoughts away from Jacob and Leah. It annoyed her. To no end, it exasperated the hell out of her.

The hotel air was cool, and Ness was overheating in the same way an overused car would overheat. Her body felt as though it was working harder than usual. The engine continued to be revved up, though the accelerator did not take her down a long winding road. She was sitting in a fatigued garage just being throttled endlessly.

With her legs outstretched across the mattress, Ness leaned back. An elbow was locked behind her, supporting her upright. A hand ironed the area near her hip bone, beneath her every expanding belly. The spasms of her muscles were tender and she wondered, if this was the usual uterine contraction or the real thing.

She kept to herself, covertly breathing through the pain while staring at her best friend.

On the opposite bed, Jacob sipped a cup of coffee watching the late morning news on the plasma television.

It was such a fatherly thing to do. To Renesmee, he looked absolutely adorable in his boxer briefs and his well-developed legs binding to the edge of the bed. A smile couldn't be helped.

He had just finished eating and began cleaning up his mess. A sudden though occurred to him. Not turning his vision from the television set, he ordered, "Don't forget to take your vitamins."

Her smirk fell. She looked to him and insolently retorted, "I would, but they're at home. I didn't plan on any overnight visits."

"Next time I'll make sure you're more informed."

"There won't be a next time."

Without inquiry, he peeked at her through his peripheral vision. She was rubbing her pregnant belly. Her eyes cast down, along with her head.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"Yes," she spat. Then went to the bathroom to change from Jacob's over sided tee and gym shorts, back into her clothes.

+Down in the Lobby+

Later, a quarter of an hour -if it should be specified- they had yet to speak a word.

With every passerby, the sliding doors automatically opened, allowing the frigid air to sweep across her face and whip her hair about. The coat she wore over her long sleeve shirt wasn't enough. Since being pregnant, she had usually been inflamed with body heat, but the chilly weather made her wish she had an extra layer and gloves. Mindlessly, she searched through travelling pamphlets, wondering if Jacob was hung up on Leah and feeling less valuable to Jake. She decided to test him, seeing if he would just take off to check out without her. And he did. He rushed to the front desk while she just passed on by and hovered around the travel pamphlet rack at the entrance.

Feeling lowly, Ness wallowed in a jealousy she was unaware of. She hated Leah. Well, she hated her more than before. It was her fault he ignored her this morning. Her feelings were hurt when he didn't wait for her as they stepped out of the elevator and made their way to the front desk.

It seemed as though hours had passed. Finally, Jacob walked through the entrance and passed by Ness, who was still reading through a travel brochure. Feeling his presence, she slipped the paper back into its designated slot, and trailed him like a puppy. Four steps in and she suddenly, felt stupid. So she stopped in her tracks, and waited to see how long it would take Jacob to realize she was not following him.

Jacob, knew instantly. He could feel her presence, just as she felt him. The moment she stopped walking, he halted, gazed over his shoulder and outstretched a thick hand. "Come on baby."

Nessie looked to his hand, like as child saw vegetables. She was disgusted and angry. "The baby's in my stomach," she said dryly.

Not sure how to take her, Jacob rotated completey, smiled and said, "I was talking to you."

She rolled her eyes and walked right past him. "Sure."

Dropping his hand, he examined her walk away. The sudden mood change surprised him.

Jogging after her, with his duffle tightly clutched in a hand and her backpack of books across his shoulders, he hollered, "Wait up!"

She spun around. "Oh, did you wanna walk along side me now?" she said, her tone dripping in distain.

"Yeah I do," he replied, his eyes dropping sadly, " and I want to hold your hand. Am I allowed to?"

"You took off to check out not even five minutes ago, you didn't want to hold my hand then."

" I'm sorry holding your hand wasn't the first thing on my mind," he replied, " I had to get to the desk before eleven otherwise they'd charge me an extra two hundred dollars for a room we're _not_ even gonna use tonight."

Ness stiffened. Were her suspicions correct? Was this entire overnight thing for sex? Sadness washed over Renesmee. She looked up at the clouded skies, thinking, "He only rented the hotel room to have sex." He was just like Nahuel, using her for sex. Wanting to make use of the situation they found themselves in. Weirdly, she did not mind if Jacob wanted to use her for such things, it only made her somber.

"I'm sorry, I just, I just, I wasn't, ready," she rambled and stuttered, "I mean, I'm pregnant and it'll be weird."

Addled, Jake cocked his head. "What are you talking about?"

The teen's pupils aligned. They froze. Any indignation temporarily left her body. His aureate eyes questioned her and all she could do was blurt, "I'm _sorry_ we didn't have sex last night." Then she stormed away.

"Ness," he called, "wait hold on what are talking about?"

She ignored him. Clutching her ballooned belly, she stomped off to the car across the parking lot. The chilly air hit her face, blowing her hair back and making her fingers numb. Jacob lagged behind, meditating about her outburst.

Renesmee stared into the passenger side window, impatiently waited at the Volvo. Jacob's reflection materialized in the glass and their eyes attached. Ness looked away.

From behind he asked, "What are you talking about?"

Spinning on her heal, she requested he unlock the car, but he wouldn't do so until she answered his question. And so, she gave him the most forward answer she could give him. "I'm sorry you wasted two hundred dollars, just fall asleep beside me last night_, Nahuel_."

Jake dropped the duffle at his side. "Don't even…" he muttered through clenched teeth.

Her stomach pains punished her enough for that statement. "Sorry," she stated grabbing at her tummy. Averting her eyes completely from the boy, she was remorseful for verbally comparing him to Nahuel. Jacob was nothing like Nahuel, although, the situation felt the same. She ruefully added, "It's just, I don't think I'm comfortable having sex while I'm pregnant."

Jake eyed her hands. They lovingly caressed her stomach. Her head bowed.

She genuinely assumed that was the reason for all this. He wanted nothing more than time. He had to make her understand. "You think that's the reason I brought you here?"

"I know that's why you brought me here. Why else would you have requested _that_ room?"

"Actually," he corrected, " I reserved that room weeks ago because that's a very special room. This little one," he paused taking a step nearer and placing a palm on her naval, " was created in that room, I…"

He licked his lips, practically forcing Ness to stare at them. His words lost in the moment. He re-lived that night in his thoughts, and until this day, it was still the best night of his life.

Ness lifted her eyebrows, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

Noticing, Jake snapped out of his trance and continued. " I just wanted a night with you. To talk about the baby or, anything really. We coulda watched a movie, played tic tac toe, cards, jumped on the beds or, whatever. Actually you can't do that last one but…" He reached out lightly holding her arms, tucking her long bangs behind her ears, his sight never leaving her eyes. He finished, "I hardly get to see you as it is, and I wanted to spend time together because, this is probably the last time it'll ever be just you and I. Soon we're gonna have Kai and we won't have alone time."

Standing speechless, Renesmee had never thought about that. Something so simple never crossed her mind. She knew this baby was coming, it was a reality she accepted. Though, she never thought alone time with Jacob would be impossible. Sure, they'd have moments they'd find themselves alone, but forever, it would be Jacob, Renesmee and Kai.

The realization was bittersweet.

It was clear all her worrying was unnecessary. It somewhat upset her too. Jacob didn't want that with her? One of these days she was going to have sex with him, and this time around she wouldn't be lying on her back like a cold fish. She wanted to be better than Leah, better than Charlene and better than that girl from the Makah reservation. She wanted to be Jacob's best.

She acknowledged she was too preoccupied to pay attention to Jake. "And I did homework all night. I'm sorry."

Draping his arm across her shoulders, he pulled her close. Tilting her chin up, she sent him a venerating gaze and a soft smile. "It's fine, I just wanted to spend time with you and we have another day together."

Her stick thin arms around his cloaked his waist, his hand firmly held her chin and his eyes bore into hers.

And there it was. That weird thing. That strange look he gives her. The exact look he has always given her. It was a house, with a dozen doors connecting every room and countless windows. With one glance, he opened the doors and the windows flew open and the wind of awareness swept in. Suddenly, she's strongly connected to her feelings and aware of how the breeze swept through the rooms of her heart. She turns to mush and she feels agitated, warm, confused, ecstatic, joyful and fearful. There's these infinite amount of sensations and emotions she forgot existed. Some never did until he looked at her this particular way. Only Jacob has the power to do open those doors, and lift the windows. How he did it, she did not know, but she loved how her soul was appeased in every way.

All was obviously forgiven. Nessie's face turned austere. Soft but very solemn, and slightly lustful. He had no choice now. His body reacted before he had a say. He leant down and kissed her on the lips. Just like last night, when she kissed him, her adrenaline raced by only the touch of his lips. Like the teenagers they were, they allowed their hormones to take over and a simple kiss turned erotic. Both their minds strayed from moral. They made out as if no one could see them. Jacob almost forgot about the child she was carrying and Ness certainly regretted not having sex with him the night before.

Their breath fogged, and billowed through the air. Clinging to Ness tightly, and letting her tongue into his mouth, Jake realized he was slowly getting what he wanted and that was Renesmee, He wanted her. Not just for sex, but to live their ever after together. By Ness just returning the kiss meant, he was half way there. It was clear, there was attraction, physically but he wondered if they were on the same emotional level.

Collecting their tongues, and their thoughts, they pried themselves away from one another. Ness peered at Jake behind her bangs and again she felt she was his priority, not Leah. Out of shear happiness she hugged him tightly.

Jacob leant down, whispering into her ear. "Do you know how attracted I am to you right now?"

"See," she smirked pulling out of the hug and swatting his arm, "I knew it was about sex."

He pulled her back into his long arms. "No, but I thought I'd let you know I'm not opposed."

Rolling her eyes, she playfully grumbled, "Shut up."

He kissed her forehead. "I'm really not."

+On Their Way Home+

The heater was turned to full blast, and Ness was baking. She figured Jacob was chilly and needed to warm up, therefore she did not request he turn it down. The situation was, she was already over heated and being in front of the car heater was making her sweat. Reaching her arm forward, she shut the vents to her side of the car. Knowing she was uncomfortable, he turned off the heater and cracked the passenger side window.

As the fresh scent of pine entered the car, and the crisp air hit her face Ness smirked. Jacob could read her like a book.

The oldies station played, and Ness caught herself staring at Jacob. Her eyes never left him, she loved watching him hum and sing along to song after song. It filled her with joy, but the drive home seemed to have more distance than she recalled. This time around, she was in more discomfort.

In hopes to forget her cramps, she decided to start a conversation that she truly did not want to have. "Why'd Leah call?"

Jake's face went taut, but just as quickly all tenseness left. He turned the radio off and glanced at her. "Is that how I woke you up?"

Her head dipped up and down.

"She's having guy problems," he said, scratching at his scalp.

Her voice flared, "So she calls you?"

Switching into a defensive mode, he protected Leah's attitude. "Leah doesn't have that many friends, and she can't exactly talk to Emily. Bad blood. And you know Rach, she has a big heart. She'll just say_, 'It'll be alright Leah you'll get through this,'_ and that isn't how you deal with Leah."

"How do you deal with Leah?"

"She needs to vent, and not just vent she needs to," he stopped. Jacob knew Leah well, and visa versa. They both had a deep love for someone that did not return the same feelings. Leah's love for Sam was strong and pure. While he loved her back, he loved her cousin more. And Jacob loved Ness, yet she does not return his love. Yes unrequited love and broken hearts were the main bond that Jake and Leah had. "She has to talk to someone who understands what she's going through."

Ness could not comprehend. Instead of carrying on, she changed the subject, "Your birthday's tomorrow."

"Yep." He replied with no real emotion or care for the special occasion.

She questioned, "What did you want to do?"

"Nothing. I just want to hang out with you before I have to go back to school. I have to move all my stuff from Corvallis up to Seattle. I'm able to take few late start classes and online courses."

"That's good."

A simple nod of the head was his reply.

The car glided over the asphalt. Quietness bathed the seats and steering wheel. There was no music, no words and the road was abnormally smooth. Jake appeared relaxed, Ness on the other hand, did not like the silence. She hated that since they've had sex, there seemed to be an awkward silence always making an appearance. And of course, she had to accept silence's arrival. She very much disliked Jacob's understanding of Leah, and she when she was cramping up very badly. She held off telling Jacob for the past few days, but she was at her ropes end and she could not tolerate the twinge in her abdomen.

"Jacob?" she called, clutching at the spot near her hip and under her belly.

"What?" he asked. When she did not answer he looked over, to find her clenching her side. "What's wrong?"

"I've had, I don't know, this discharge and-and I've had bad cramping for the past few days."

"Why didn't you say something? Why did you come up here?"

"Because I wanted to see you play."

"Didn't the doctor say you-"

"The doctor didn't say anything about traveling. He said don't do physical activity or anything that can possibly raise my blood pressure. All I did was sit in the stands and watch your game. I didn't expect to feel worse."

"See this is why you're on bed rest. I told you, didn't I tell you not to take it lightly?"

She begged. "Jake, please don't."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I thought they were the fake contractions, the doctor said I'd have uterine contractions and I did, but I've been having, they're hurting worse than usual."

"Shit, we're going to a hospital."

+At the hospital+

The found out she had been leaking amniotic fluid, and she started to have labor contractions. The first thing they did was place her on magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions. There was no guarantee that she would make it through the night, so in case she had to give labor she was given another set of steroid shots to mature the baby's lungs further. And because she had leaked too much amniotic fluid, she received a dose of antibiotics to prevent infection.

Ness settled into the hospital bed, sure that she was to leave in the morning. Anything the doctor had informed her about, went in one ear and out the other.

"Should we call your parents?" Jake asked, sure that _this_ was it. She was going to go into complete labor and by the end of the day they'd have their little Kai.

Ness seriously did not concur. "No it'll probably be like last time. They'll keep me over night and send me home in the morning."

"I don't know Ness?"

+Early, the Following Morning+

(31 weeks 5 days)

The magnesium made Ness nauseated, however it stopped her labor. The remnant ache was now from the mild case of vertigo she developed. Her head was spinning, the nausea became worse and breathing became a little more difficult. Admitting this though, would only freak Jacob out. His sullen mood was etched over his face. It was evident he was nervous. She did not want to further upset him, which is why she kept her mouth shut.

At about two in the morning, she was woken up and informed that she would be weaned of the magnesium. A couple hours later, Ness felt better, less nauseated and more level headed. Literally. The room was no longer spinning and she could see straight.

Knowing it probably was not the best idea, Renesmee descended from the hospital bed. Her once size five feet hit the hard surface of the floor. Her ankles felt almost numb, but she pushed through the weird sensation and waddled four steps to Jake, who was sleeping uncomfortably in a chair with a small blanket.

She had a small profound moment, as she admired him. Seeing Jacob at her side, made her see that she, more than likely, would not be able to handle this type of crisis without him.

She bent over and left a long lingering kiss to his forehead. Jake's gorgeous eyes fluttered open, he stretched. "What are you doing up?"

Running her hand across his cheek, she smiled tiredly and croaked, "Happy Birthday Jacob."

He grabbed her hand, and whispered, "Thanks. What'd you get me?"

"This." She kissed his lips again. It sent a tingling sensation through his stomach that made him sit up straighter. Ness held the hospital gown fabric taut against her belly flaunting the bulge to Jacob. "And this."

He came to his feet and kissed her overheated brow. "That's all I want from you. Now go lay back down."

Carefully, Jacob guided her back into the bed and tucked her in. Resting his elbows on the bed with his full weight, he eyed her stomach.

He playfully wondered, "You gonna give birth to my son today?"

"I hope not. It's too soon. Your present's at my house. And it might be a girl."

After a few hours, Nessie woke up with pain and a damp bed. Her water had broken and the contractions started again, so she was put back on magnesium and given more antibiotics.

With her water broken, the doctors would no longer stop labor. Fortunately, the magnesium did its job in slowing her contractions.

She was encouraged to get some sleep and she truly attempted falling asleep, but her contractions grew stronger. She felt an intense pressure against her low back and she was feeling light headed and if her nerves were correct, her face was beginning to go numb.

At 9:30 a.m. when the nurse started the second dose of antibiotics, she was sure her entire face was numb. She was beginning to think she would pass out and her throat as well as chest tightened up.

Eventually, Ness spoke up. She could not keep her discomfort a secret any longer. "Jacob," she choked, "I can't breathe."

He too lost all breath. "What do you mean you can't breathe!"

"I-I," Ness stammered on the verge of tears, "I can't. Catch. My breath."

Swift reactions were bursting through him. He shouted for the doctor, he ordered one nurse to figure out what the complications were, and the other to get Ness off the medication; all while never letting go of her hand.

While the nurses checked both Ness and the baby's vitals, she at last told them her face was numb. Both of Jacob's brawny hands cupped her small hand. He held it to his mouth, kissing it again and again. He was scared, but would not show his fear. He had to be strong for her.

To soothe her anxiety, he sent buoyant messages to her. Such encouragements such as, "_It's just the medication. You'll feel better soon. You'll be fine baby."_

Although his support was valued, she couldn't show her appreciation. The contractions were kicking in stronger.

Soon, the discovered the antibiotic, she had been put on, had indeed been the problem. She was having an allergic reaction. It caused her face to go numb and her throat to become inflamed and swell. They eliminated that particular antibiotic and had the doctor come in to check up on her. While waiting for the doctor, they placed her on oxygen.

The cold air filtered through her nostrils, mouth and lungs.

It had only been a few minutes before the OB/GYN came to give her a pelvic exam.

Stirrups supported her legs as the older women inspected her progress. Jacob prayed everything was alright, whereas Renesmee focused on her breathing. It was gradually becoming easy again. Uncomfortably, Ness grunted. Not only was it uncomfortable for her, but she hated having some strange women she only met hours ago, touching her vagina.

The lady sighed excessively, shaking her head. It was not a good sign. Then the couple was informed that Renesmee had already effaced to about ninety percent, and was dilated at a nine. In an hour or less she may be a ten, and there was no purpose in preventing the labor. Instantly, they stopped her magnesium sulfate drip.

The doctor said she would return in forty five minutes and that Renesmee was to stay on the oxygen since her blood pressure was sky high.

The teens now knew, this was the point of no return.

The doctor left, and the extra nurses filed out of the room. Next, Renesmee fell apart.

Hysterically shaking her head, Ness whimpered through her oxygen mask, "I can't do this, I can't."

"Yes, you can," Jake encouraged.

"No, I can't," she declared, her head still moving side to side, "I won't be a good mom. I can't do this. We can't do this."

Jacob pressed lips to her cheeks and head. He reassured, "We're going to be the best parents this kid could ever get."

With tears welling up in her eyes, she whimpered, "I'm supposed to have at least six weeks left. I'm not ready. Are you ready?" She did not wait for him to answer. "I'm not ready. I'm not ready. We're not ready."

"Whether we're ready or not, our baby's coming," he cooed running a hand through her hair, "We're going to have a little boy, or little girl, and he or she'll be ours, all ours."

She breathed in oxygen from the mask, and replied with a muffled voice, "But my overnight bag is at home, we have to stop this."

Jacob continued to patiently talk her through this. "Ness we don't get to decide what day and time the baby comes, your body is saying it's ready."

"But it's too soon," she cried through the current contraction, "I have like, two months left."

He pacified her, petting her and pressing his fingertips through her hair. "I know baby," he paused to kiss her forehead, "but the doctor said it's time, we have to."

For a few seconds, Jacob let go of her hand. When the air hit his palm, it turned cold. It was clammy, but he hadn't noticed show sweaty his hand was since it became accustomed to the heat of Nessie's tiny hand.

Poking around he searched for something to throw her hair up. While he hunted, she focused on breathing and getting through her current contraction. The tugging on her ovaries and tight stomach muscles were killing her. When Jacob came back she let the large tears roll down her face.

He lovingly tossed her hair up to the best of his ability and wiped the tears from her face.

Her contractions slowed, and she found the energy to pull Jacob into her arms.

"I'm glad you're here," she whimpered through the plastic mask, "I didn't think you'd be here for this."

He agreed. "Me either."

Ness could hear thunder rumble and another contraction kick in. The doctor materialized out of nowhere, telling her to push.

A harsh fluorescence light gleamed off of every surface of the delivery room. Machines beeped and flashed monitoring and marking Nessie and Kai's heartbeat. Ness focused on the baby's heart rate, and Jacob's attention was on both Ness and the baby's vitals.

A small crowd of people in blue scrubs hovered around Ness. Even Jacob himself had a Carolina blue scrub on.

Ten o'clock turned to noon and before Jacob could blink it was seven forty six. His poor Renesmee had been suffering for the past few days and now, it was only worse.

He could sense his pulse racing as fast as Renesmee's. His chest tight, his head feather light. As they told Renesmee to continue pushing Jacob could only feel himself get worse. A nurse, recognize that he was on the edge of losing it. She directed him to turn his full attention to encouraging Ness. He listened muttered the most positive things he could think of.

And then the moment came. Their child was exposed to the world. The doctor announced, "We got a little girl!"

They laid the tiny baby girl across Nessie's chest. She and Jacob grasped each other's hands tighter.

As Jacob cut the umbilical cord, someone said, "Say hello to your daughter."

Ness torn her oxygen mask off to see her daughter more clearly. The sight of her baby would be forever carved into her memory. This tiny little being sprouted from one confusing night of love making and she grew inside her all this time. She didn't open her eyes, but Ness saw that she was sucking on her bottom lip. Then she recorded the realism. Her world narrowed. Suddenly, nothing else mattered besides the baby girl on her chest. She felt overwhelmed, but not in a negative way. It was the most humbling sense of being overwhelmed. Her values changed, her thought process shifted and so did Jacob's. Her life revolved around Kai now, whereas it was once Jacob. He wasn't her number one any longer, their daughter was.

This, this was love. It was a love that would last, a love that Renesmee would never be able to forget, a love that would never disappear or be regretted. It was meant to be.

Jacob kissed her temple repeatedly, and buzzed in here ear, "It's a girl Ness, it's a girl."

He hand hovered over the baby. She was undersized, but she was Ness's daughter.

She felt her eyes water and she glanced up at Jacob to see he also, was brought to tears. And when she gazed at him, she did not see a boy, nor a man. She did not only see him as her best friend but as the father of her child. The love she felt for him multiplied. Her admiration tripled and her appreciation swelled. Everything she ever felt for him became bigger, stronger.

It was then, in that moment of emotional revelation, she knew she was committed to Jacob, forever. In some way, or another she was his and he was hers. Kai was their bond. It was stronger than whatever stupid bond Leah and he had to one another. Ness was sure of that.

They coupled observed their daughter. They registered the tone of her skin was purple, almost bruised or blue. She looked cold.

Jacob had to kiss Renesmee again. "I love you so much, I'm so proud of you."

And just like that, their new born daughter was whisked away. The strangest sense of fullness and emptiness fell upon the new parents.

Again Jacob rambled on in elation. "I love you Renesmee, I love you. You did it."

But Ness couldn't say a simple word back. Her focus was on her daughter. The faint shrill crying, that she was so sure she would witness, was not there. It was silent. There was nothing but the humming of the machines and the doctor and nurses chattering about the baby.

Ness spit out her words. She rasped, "Why isn't she crying?'

"I don't know?'' Jake responded.

He was relieved that his Nessie was had made it through. He was near tears for the reason alone, but as far as his daughter was concerned, he was unsure. Knowing she was apparently unwell left him cold and removed.

The new parents watch from afar. The nurses and doctors spoke low which concerned the teens.

Unknowingly, Ness held her breath. An eerie emptiness felt upon Ness. Every negative thought filled her brain and she had the great urge to cry hopelessly. But she couldn't, she couldn't even find it in her to take a simple breath.

Jacob tried to fortify the mother of his child, petting her jaw. "Breath baby, you breath, she breathes."

One nurse walked over and put the oxygen mask back on Renesmee's face. She then inhaled deeply, praying that all would be okay.

"She's breathing," the doctor said, "We have a heartbeat." The entire room released its breath.

Without Jacob or Renesmee's say the staff placed their daughter in a clear plastic tray and rushed her to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. As the baby went out of sight, the pediatric staff followed.

A short while later, the doctor informed them that the most likely cause of her premature labor, would be stress and high blood pressure. From then, she explained that something called corticotropin-releasing hormone is produced in both the brain and placenta. This hormone stimulates the body to release a chemical called prostaglandins, which trigger uterine contractions.

All Jacob heard, was that stress caused her premature labor, and Renesmee didn't really hear a word. He baby was the only thing she could think of, as well as the nurse with the attitude problem standing by the doctor's side. She, the rude nurse, then proceeded to say, "Well get back to you if anything changes."

It was cruel and practically unconsciously as that women spoke. Nurse Jeanie, did not appear to give a damn, and she was not someone Renesmee liked very much.

+ Forty Minutes Later+

Now situated, Ness laid on her side watching a stifled Jacob. In the chair he sat with his back straight. His leg bounced. His fingers twitched. His breathing ragged. He appeared on edge. It was the same agitation as if he were driving behind a car that drove twenty miles under the speed limit. Only he couldn't get around this. He and Renesmee had to wait it out until the doctors came back with news.

Not being able to stand seeing him so agitated Nessie spoke to him. "Jacob?"

"Yeah?" he droned, staring off at the doorway.

"Do think she'll be fine?"

In spite of Renesmee's question, he did not look at her. "I hope so."

It went quiet for some time, then Ness apologized. "I'm sorry."

At last he looked to her. "For what?"

Fighting back tears, she spoke through a strained throat. "What if something's wrong? If she's suffering, it's because of me, b-because I didn't take care of myself."

Coming to his feet, Jake rushed to her side."Don't blame yourself…"

"What did I do wrong?" she breathed.

" You put the weight on the doctor asked you to, and you can't help your blood pressure."

"Yes I could of. What did I do wrong? I thought -"

Cutting her words short, he covered her mouth. "You didn't do anything wrong, for whatever reason you're body thought it was time."

"I should have cut back even more hours, I should of-"

Now irritated, he growled, "Ness, what's done is done. So shut up about it!"

He stomped over the small chair in the corner. Ness watched shocked, as he sat in the chair. He didn't need to be so mean. His bitter reaction, gave Renesmee her own. With a quivering lip, she attempted at holding back tears but it was impossible. Every tear she held in poured over. She bawled her eyes out. Somewhere between her blubbering, she maundered, "I wanna hold her."

Jake kicked himself for reacting austerely. He was only miserable because he didn't even know if his daughter was even living or not. Not being able to help himself, Jake came to her side again. He moved the chair closer to the bedside. Folding his arms on the plastic bars of the bed, his face was a foot from Nessie's. He wiped the tears from her face. He shouldn't take out aggression on her. He had to hold it in.

Still on her side, her hands were folded beneath her cheek, like she was about to get a good night's rest. Only she couldn't think of sleep, no matter how tired she was. They really didn't speak except to voice their annoyance with the hospital.

They had been waiting too long to hear about their daughter's health.

Ness dozed off for a few minutes, and Jacob found it the opportune moment to slip away and call their families. He couldn't believe after twenty four hours he didn't once think to call his father.

When he slipped back in, Ness was awake, gazing out the window. She watched the droplets roll down the window pane. Clearly she was tired and deep in thought.

Jake informed, "I called my dad. He said congratulations. I also called your parents. They'll be here in the morning."

Her brows knitted together, partially confused, "Do you think my dad's actually going to come?"

"Yes."

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

Thinking it over, only upset Ness further. She decided to tell Jacob what she had been thinking about before, he walked in.

"I know we settled on Kai, but, I think her name should be Sarah. Sarah Kai, to commemorate your mom, in a way."

Jacob's throat tightened. He'd been trying his very best to not think about his deceased mother. His knees buckled and he lifelessly plopped onto a chair. "I'd love that Renesmee. Sarah Kai Black."

"Sarah Kai Cullen-Black," she corrected. Jake ran a hand through his greasy hair. He hunched forward resting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands. Ness noticed he began to wheeze and whimper. She went wide eyed, when she witnessed him run the back of his hand beneath his eye to wipe a tear away.

"Jake, what's wrong?"

He did not answer her.

"Jacob?" She called to him again, but no reply. He only seemed to have more tears. Renesmee did not know what to do. This had only been the time she recalled him every crying, besides when Kai was actually born. She couldn't figure out why he would be crying, other than the fact that the nurse hadn't informed them about a damn thing. Or maybe it was her choice on what to name their daughter. _I guess pride is really a strong emotion men have, I guess leaving out Cullen would make him happy._

"Okay. No Cullen," she promised, hoping that decision would do the trick, "Sarah Kai Black is fine."

He shook his head, his large hands covering his bloodshot eyes. "It's not that."

Not speaking, she awaited a response.

When he composed himself, he looked at Ness. He sniffled and spoke through trembling lips, "I can't lose her Nessie, I already lost my mom I can't lose my daughter too."

And then, she felt this sudden surge of power, or optimism. She had to be strong for him. "She's gonna make it Jake, she has to."

" I need her, like I need you. I love her like I love you."

Ness stirred distressfully. "Jacob, come on," she whined, sitting up straighter.

Feeling helpless sucked. She couldn't do a thing for her daughter and now Jacob was falling apart.

"Please stop crying," she squeaked as she begged. She had too much crying for one day, and again the tears formed, "You're making me cry."

Getting up to comfort him, she began to get out of the bed. Her sock covered feet dangled over the edge, prepared to step down. Jake shouted, "Renesmee don't get up!"

"Then come here," she said with her arms outstretched to him. He meandered her way, accepting her hug.

Tightly, they clung to one another. Jake nuzzled the hair atop her head, and Ness pressed her face into his chest. He was all she needed to get through this trauma. She couldn't have him shut down and take out his rage on her though.

"Jacob, don't be short with me. If you need to talk, talk. Just don't' be mean to me."

"I'm sorry."

She muttered into his sternum, "I love you. No matter what, she's our daughter and, and…"

At a loss for words, he mouth hung agape. _Where's the nurse_?

Jake said," I can't even remember what she looked like, besides the fact that she was tiny. She was only 3 pounds and 10 ounces."

"And 16 inches long."

He held her tighter, kissing her temple and the crown of her head. His daughter's health worried him. It drowned him. He now didn't only have Renesmee to worry about, he had his little girl.

Pulling her face from the warmth of his body, she looked up to Jake. Cupping his scruffy face she uttered, "She'll be fine. The nurses and doctors know what they're doing."

Dragging his face closer to her lips, she gave him a quick chaste kiss. "I'm so happy you got to be here."

Imitating Ness, he took her face into his coarse hands and pressed his lips to hers. He kissed her cheek, repetitively and every square inch of skin on her face. She doesn't think she'd ever been kissed so much in one day, and she loved that Jacob was doing it. "Try to get some rest, I'll wake you when they have some news."

She didn't sleep much at all. They talked a little. And while talking, they found it difficult to even remember what Sarah Kai looked like. Ness smiled as she remembered her baby girl sucking on her bottom lip That lipless profile changed everything in her life, then sudden anger appeared. Why hadn't they heard any word about Sarah Kai? Was an hour and ten minutes not enough time to stabilize a three pound baby?

Waiting. That's all the couple could do, was wait until they received news of their daughter's health.

Ness held a pillow close as soothed her. Jacob's fingertips massaged her scalp until lapsed into near sleep. Even then he continued petting her head and occasionally laying a kiss to her nose.

A knock and the sudden voice of a women, startled Jake. "Sorry," she apologized. Ness on the verge of sleep, Her itty bitty voice caught Ness's ear. It awoke her as she was on the verge of sleep. She kept her eyes closed but listened hoping to hear some news.

"I didn't mean to disrupt you and your wife…"

Ness and Jacob heard her assumption, but neither bothered to correct her.

"… but Nurse Jeanie went home. She forgot to come tell you your daughter's apgar scale was a five, which is low but she's stable. Would you like to come see her?"

Jake nodded and left Ness with one last kiss. He whispered, "I'll be back."

Nessie's eyes flickered open, finding Jacob.

"Try to get some rest, I'm gonna go see Sarah Kai."

Then her eyes were widened. Lifting her head, she prepared to get up to visit her daughter. "I want to see her too."

"You will after you get some sleep." Almost to tears, Ness felt lost and confused and tired. Oh how she was drained beyond belief, but she was going to see her daughter despite it. When she sat up, a weight held her down. Jake's hands forced her to lay back down. "She's not going anywhere."

"But what if she-" She couldn't say it, but her mind went to the worst. _What if she died, and Ness never got to meet her daughter? _

"The nurse said she's stable. Get some rest and when you wake up we'll go see Sarah Kai together."

Ness obeyed, allowing herself to calm. Her eyes lids weighed down on her. She was tired. For the past two nights she probably had collectively slept four or perhaps six hours. She needed sleep.

Pouting her lips, and allowing her eyebrows to fall she begged, "Can you at least bring me back a picture?"

" I'll text one to you."

Suddenly wide eyed and anxious, she propped herself up on her elbows. Nessie's eyes hysterically hunted for her phone. "I need my phone," she stated, then repeated, "I need my phone."

Jacob retrieved her phone from her back pack, and handed it to her.

He kissed her one last time before following the nurse to the NICU. The walk from the entrance to his daughter's incubator, stretched on for miles. He passed, baby after premature baby. Though most slept, the room was bright and humming with equipment. Some of the computers even played synthesized lullabies.

"What are those for?" Jake asked.

"It's music therapy."

The vague answer was not enough, but Jacob did not have it in him to keep asking questions.

Finally, he came upon the last incubator in the corner of the room. Inside this plastic tube was his daughter. The incubator's purpose was to keep her warm, because she had not yet developed enough body heat to do naturally do it herself. AS for her nutrition, the nurse said they'd have Renesmee pump some of her breast milk and Kai would be fed through a tube that went through either her from her nose or mouth directly into the stomach.

Jake learned about the benefits of breast milk, but they'd also have to add calcium and other minerals that were vital for her health to the breast milk. He then learned Sarah Kai, had low blood pressure. Most likely from the medication Ness was on while trying to prevent labor, but it also explained why Sarah Kai was given extra fluids.

The nurse went on and on, but all Jacob wanted was to be given at least ten minutes alone with his daughter. Being rude, he interrupted and asked, "Is there a reason I had to wait almost two hours to see her?"

"I'm sorry no one informed you earlier about her. The nurse that was to inform you, tends to not care when her shift is over."

"Yeah Nurse Jeanie. Did she not think I would like to know if my daughter was well, if she would live or not?"

"I'm sorry."

"She should be fired."

The nurse only nodded and continued to speak. "Thankfully, we don't have to connect her to a cpap…"

Jacob frowned. The nurse spoke as if Kai was am appliance. It irritated him to no end. His daughter was not a piece of machinery that was to be plugged in, she was a human being that needed the aid of medical equipment.

"…but she is on oxygen."

Eventually, Jacob was left alone, standing awkward in front of the incubator. His head swirled around noticing he was alone in the entire room besides, the few nurses.

"Hey Kai-Kai," he whispered, his index finger covered his quivering lip. He was trying his hardest not to crack or let any tears fall. As he went to speak he couldn't, it was weird, but he remembered every time he visited his mother at her grave he spoke to her as if she would speak back. He needed his mother right now. He had to cry, and he did, not just for his weak daughter, but he wished his mother was here.

"Hey Kai-Kai," Jake repeated not caring who heard him, "It's daddy. You'll be fine, I swear I'll never let anything happen to you. I love you," he breathed holding the tears back. His hand laid across the plastic of the incubator as he continued, "I'll never let anything happen to you or Ness. That's your mom. She's…I don't even know how to describe your mother, she's…She's like air. We need her. More than she thinks."

(One day old)

Ness was still passed out. Sure he also had next to no sleep but she had just given life, she needed her rest. Jake checked on her every hour then made his way back to the NICU. He hovered over his daughter, hanging on every movement as if it were her last. It was strange how wonderful yet sad it was that she was here. She existed, she breathed, and she even opened her brilliantly bright eyes.

But the joy he was beginning to feel as a father was ruined when he heard a soft, masculine but gentle voice say, "She's beautiful."

Through gritted teeth Jake said, "She's Nessie's daughter."

"How's she doing?"

Jacob couldn't turn to look at him. He had a few choice words and he wasn't sure he wanted to lash out on him in the NICU. Though, he ignored the rational thoughts and accused, "You know this is all your fault."

"I beg your pardon?" Edward replied.

" Ness has been stressed out lately, stressed out of her mind, trying to pay the rent, to feed herself and shop for herself, work, pay for gas and finish school. She tries to hide it. She's been trying so hard to show how mature she is to you, that she wouldn't use help. She's too prideful , she's gotten better but she wouldn't take help from me. I had to go behind her back and buy groceries, and to pay the rent she was behind on. All I tried to do was help out and it started several unnecessary arguments. If she wasn't trying to prove something to you she would have let me help. If you didn't call her immature and ignorant we wouldn't be here."

By this point, Jacob was standing placing himself between his daughter and the man that never wanted her to exist.

"Look Jacob, I know I was harsh with her but I spoke the truth. We both know that."

"Yeah," his burnt out voice cracked , "I do know that but you shouldn't have said it to her face. It only made her feel like shit… then you kicked your daughter out for not having an abortion-"

Edward was hurt, but he knew he knew this young man's words were "I know! I hear about this from Bella enough, I don't need you edifying it to me either."

"Well to fucking bad, all she did was make a mistake. You know what she must have been feeling, you know what it's like to get pregnant in high school. If you didn't kick her out, she wouldn't be stressed, then she wouldn't have gone into premature labor and my daughter wouldn't be fighting for her life right now!" "Edward, I get that you were mad, you had every right to be, but she didn't deserve to be yelled at or belittled by her own damn father. You should have yelled at me, cursed me, not her. I would have willingly took a beating from you as long as you didn't upset her."

"Jacob, you and I are too much alike."

"I'm nothing like you," he spat turning his back to him. He looked upon his daughter. It had only been a short time, but he couldn't imagine life without his daughter. And the man standing behind him did not want her here.

"You'd be surprised how similar we are kid. You love Renesmee almost if not as much as I love her mother. Bella was my whole world, and even I broke her heart."

Jake snorted. "I can't say I'm surprised, you broke your daughter's heart too."

"I never meant to hurt her I just…" he paused. Folding his hand together When Bella told me she was pregnant, I was happy, excited. Then I, I don't know what happened? I didn't think I'd be a good dad, I didn't feel good enough for Bella. A week later I left, I moved to Alaska with my relatives. I didn't tell my family about Bella being pregnant, or even tell her where I was going just that she was better off without me. Alice called six months later telling me Bella was in the hospital, that she went into labor and something may be wrong with her and the baby. Ness was a premie too. I came back home to not just Bella but Ness. I knew my girls needed me and I haven't left them since."

"Like I said I'm nothing like you."

"The memory of me leaving my wife, haunts me. When I found out about you guys, I imagined you leaving her. Leaving her to fen for herself, and to take on the responsibility of a human life. If I could do something as awful as to leave Bella, why wouldn't you leave my daughter? I couldn't see that devastation across my daughter's face if you left her. She couldn't even function if you missed a day of school. How she's surviving with you in Oregon baffles me because she can't live without you. When I think back, my decisions were idiotic. I didn't want to risk her being hurt, because you got scared. I wanted her to graduate, go to college and become successful in whatever it is she chooses then start a family. Now her future is so uncertain, and your daughter's future is uncertain, and, I apologize if I offend you, but she isn't in love with you."

Pivoting on his heels Jacob sent a hard gaze towards the grandfather of his child. "She is," he retorted arrogantly, "she just doesn't know it yet."

"I trusted you Jacob."

Jake nodded. They had there silent agreement but he sometimes you and to break the rules to have a taste of something you dream of. "I know Sir, but I love her."

"You do anything to hurt her, we'll be finishing that fight my daughter stopped."

Jacob's attention was back to Sarah Kai. He watched her chest rise and fight for breath even with an oxygen tube.

Edward said from behind, "I guess I should go."

Not looking back at him, he said, "You should stop by Nessie's room. She doesn't think you'll visit her."

A cold hand gripped to Jacob's shoulder. "Congratulations Jacob."

Looking at the hand, Jacob shook his hand off and face him. Edward had his hand outstretched for a handshake, reluctantly Jake took his hand saying, "Sure, sure."

"Jacob? I'm, I'm apologizing for my indiscretions."

They shook and Jake said, "I know."

"Thanks for taking care of her."

They tore their hands from one another. "I'll always take care of her…" he said noticing Edward's tall thin body walk from the room. Not knowing what came over him, Jacob said, "You know I'm gonna marry her right?"

Edward peeked over his should and replied, "We'll see."

Before completely leaving the room he said, "If it happens, you have my blessing."

+Back in the Hospital Room+

"Did your mom stop by?"

Nessie looked up to see her father. She went stern faced and informed, "She went to the gift shop."

"How are you doing?"

"I don't know? I won't know until I know Kai is going to be alright."

"Kai?" he wondered.

"Sarah Kai Black, Cullen Black?" she wondered looking at the screen saver of her phone. It was daughter. " We haven't signed anything yet."

"I saw her down in NICU. She's beautiful."

Ness smiled. She had yet to make eye contact with her father. "She looks like Jake."

"Listen, Kai is your daughter, you're her advocate. You do not leave her health solely up to the nurses or doctors in the NICU."

Lifting her head, Ness looked at her dad confused. "Why?"

"Because, they know what they're doing but sometime they abuse their power. Some doctor's, and even nurses, think they're God. If you have any questions about how to handle her progress, ask me or grandpa Carlisle."

"They want to do blood tests, I told them no. I want to wait and talk to Jake."

"Good, don't let them do a thing unless you say so, especially blood tests."

"She's so tiny. Doing blood test seems unsafe."

"Only if they do too many."

Nessie's head dipped up and down agreeing.

Edward then sighed, and came to her side. Ness looked at him with her peripheral vision, and it bothered her. She told herself he was in Jacob's chair. He either needed to apologize or leave, she didn't want to be around him, not at the moment. She had more important things to think of, other than her up in the air relationship with her father.

"I'm sorry for the stress I've caused you. For everything that happened, but I was scared for you."

Her voice was rough, and tired. "I didn't need you to be scared for me, I was scared for myself and now I'm scared for Kai."

"Me too. I have to talk to you about some stuff."

She knew it was coming, an apology or a lector. Two things she didn't want to deal with. "Dad it isn't the right time for this."

"No, listen, I'm going to tell you the same thing, I just told Jacob. Perhaps, you'll understand why I acted the way I did."

On the on her mind, was something her aunt Rosalie said once."You've been to Alaska?"

He nodded.

"Mom said it was because you were thinking of relocating, before I was born."

"That's not necessarily a lie. I relocated, so your mom could find someone better for you and for her."

"That's stupid. You were going to just leave us and never have contact with us again?"

Shamefully he replied, "That was my intention. I was a sixteen year old boy with nothing give. I had no job, I couldn't support your mother, I couldn't support you, unless I lived off grandma and grandpa but I wasn't going to do that. I didn't know how my parents would handle it. When I look back on it, I'm not sure where my head was? My leaving, was the biggest mistake I ever made. Your mother went into a depression, was put on medication and that caused you to be born early."

He then proceeded with a long explanation for his behavior as an expected father, and as an expected grandfather.

"…I didn't want him to hurt you, the way I hurt your mother."

Ness averted her eyes, bothered.

The comparison between Jacob and her father were so off base. He would never hurt her, not even if he tried. Then again, he kept her in the dark about Charlene and invaded her privacy by looking at her bills. And she never thought her father would respond to her pregnancy disapprovingly. Nonetheless, Jacob Black and Edward Cullen were to different people even if they had both betrayed her trust.

Ness exhaled playing with her plastic wrist band. "Jacob's not you, dad," she started looking up at her father, " He would never hurt me."

Edward nodded. "I know, your mother continues to remind me that."

" He's…" Ness paused. What she felt was beyond words. Jacob was not her father, but they had similar qualities.

They were both honest, when need be. They both took care of her and loved her.

Finally she uttered, "He deserves an apology."

"I apologized to him already."

"Thank you."

She had things to say now. Perhaps, clearing the air now wasn't the worst idea. "You kicked me out dad," she accused, "you wanted me to toss Sarah Kai away as if she didn't exist. As if God himself made a mistake."

"I'm sorry. All I could think of was Jacob leaving you all by yourself with a child. It frightened me because if he left you, I'm scared you'll become depressed like your mother did. I feared you would kill yourself."

"Daddy I wouldn't-"

"Renesmee, you have to understand my point of view. Depression is hereditary. When you didn't see him, I could see how empty you felt. It was in your eyes, they didn't sparkle unless you had contact with him. You were lifeless those days he couldn't come over after school. When I got upset with you, I threatened you, by saying you weren't allowed to see him. And that threat alone straightened you out but I would never follow through. I couldn't take him away from you, not when you depended on his presence too much. And if he left you permanently and with a child, I could see you trying to commit, suicide,"

"That's not true," she defended.

Edward stared at his daughter. She held her cell phone tightly in her hand, waiting for it to ring. She wanted to hear from Jacob, about her daughter's progress but, he was to consumed.

Edward could see she was the spitting image of her mother, though everyone said how much she resembled him. And that long off look she get on her face at the mention of Jacob, was obvious. Edward knew he had felt that a time or two, but he also knew his daughter didn't comprehend her emotions. She was still naïve in many ways.

"Renesmee," he started, "you do not recognize what is going on in your head."

Wordlessly, she replied with a confused shake of the head. What did she not understand? Was he calling her stupid?

"He loves you," Edward stated, " Maybe more than I love your mother, and I love her more than life itself."

Her eyes fell away from her father, and back at her cell phone. She knew Jake loved her, but she told herself he had no clue what love was. He needed someone who wanted him back. A girl who loved him in ways Ness didn't believe she did, or could. He truly, deserved better.

Also, her parent's love was fervent. In Nessie's opinion, what she and Jacob had could never compare.

"Don't exaggerate," she muttered, slightly smirking.

Her father replied quickly. "I'm not." " You know he loves you?"

"I know he loves me, and," she paused bringing her hand up to the silver medallion of her necklace. It was warm, and heavy on the skin of her sternum. She lifted the piece and through her fingers, thinking of him. She finished, "I'm not sure about him yet."

"He said he's going to marry you."

Her air supply was cut off and her pulse speed up. Shock was the simple word for her feelings. She thought, he was just in this confused rose color glassed love –brought on by the pregnancy- not full blown spend eternity together kind of love.

Playing it off as if it were not bothersome, she lifted her petite shoulders to a shrug. "I don't know about that."

"He's determined."

"Daddy," Ness vied her tears. She didn't want to cry and she surly did not want to speak about Jacob being in love with her. There were too many items on her plate to begin with. She had to get her diploma still, she was struggling to pay bills which is why she worked two jobs. After quitting her second job, to appease Jacob, she had less hours, which meant less pay. Now that she had gone into premature labor, she had to take maternity leave. She had to figure out if Kai was doing well, and if she was supposed to stay here at the hospital, or if she could take her home. Chances were that she had to stay, Ness assumed so. A tiny little thing like her daughter couldn't survive on her own yet. Then it hit her that she doesn't know anything about her daughter's health. Was she stable? Was she breathing on her own? Would she survive?

Throw in the fact that her best friend, is not only in love with her ,but wants to marry her was too much to take in.

She let her tears fall. " I-I don't know, h-how this is gonna to work."

"What specifically?"

"Nothing in particular, just everything. Jacob and Kai. I mean I need to go back to work but I can't leave her. And Jake, he… " she sniffled and wiped her nose. Her heaving breath, was loud. Her father came nearer and hugged her.

"He has to go back to school," she finally spat.

He kissed her head. "These things work themselves out, love."

* * *

**Author's note**: UGH! I HATE THIS CHAPTER! Sorry I had to get it out there. UGH!

When I originally said I lost six pages of story, I lied, it was originally ten. It sincerely was ten times better than how I wrote this chapter, though it was just as emotional and tense. – I really do hate this chapter-However, could you understand why I was ticked off? Could you see why, I've postponed on updating? My enthusiasm was shot, sorta still is, I know I could do flash drive, but that stupid usb stick I did have snapped in five pieces. Just my luck. I did try that before, hee, hee (whomever suggested it, thanks for trying to help me out.) But, I am back and I hope for lots of love a reviews to keep me motivated. SERIOUSLY, I am greatly, from the deepest depths of my heart, sorry for making ya'll wait so long for an update.

Now, there is tons for ya'll to comment or question about. And I hope you guys let me know how you liked the chapter. I made it extra long! Notice, how jealous Ness was of Leah. And she doesn't even know it's jealousy. And her and Eddy finally made peace. That's great and poor Sarah Kai I hope she'll be okay. This is chapter 30, so guess what? I expect 30 reviews. Seriously, boost my ego. PLEASE!

NEXT TIME I'LL NAME DROP, sorry I didn't this time.


	31. Tenfold

A/N: A short sweet chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

"_And in my arms, is my entire world."_

**Chapter 31 - Tenfold –**

On January fifteenth, Sarah Kai Black was born. Only one day following Jacob's twentieth birthday. Hands down, she was the belated birthday present that eclipsed them all.

Knowing he had to leave soon, stung. All he desired, was to stay with his frail daughter and feeble best friend.

The first two days had Ness a wreck. She felt numb and scared. And what kept her from breaking was Jacob. The one thing she needed most was him by her side. However, on Kai's third day of existence, Jake travelled to Seattle, beginning his second semester classes, at a new school. It was against the new parent's wishes, but any missed days could drop his grade. And if his grade point average plummeted, it would result in an involuntary default on his scholarship. Ness wouldn't allow him to lose out on a fulfilling life and God given opportunities. She wanted the world for him regardless of her pain and loneliness. Every ounce of her flesh, of her blood, of her organs, of her cells and atoms yearned for Jacob. Now, more than any other time in her past.

Unfortunately, the knowledge of being a mother never kicked in. She did not feel any maternal instincts and it mortified her. There was no connection, just a slight acquaintance. In the hard plastic of the isolette laid her little stranger, but Ness knew she loved her more than anything. _Maybe even more than Jacob_, she deliberated that internal comment for a very long time, until she came up with the conclusion that she loved them both the same, but in very different ways.

That she was positive about, but something was off. A large part of her heart was given to Sarah Kai the moment she laid eyes on the baby girl, but the other half had been mislaid. Where she left it was a mystery. All she recognized is that it was missing. Inside her chest, was a huge gaping hole missing the thud of a heart. Which made sense, because all Renesmee could feel was emptiness, as well as anxiety.

Ness and Kai had few visitors for the three days following, Jacob's departure. Edward and Bella had to get back to work, forcing the new mother to be on her own. It was one thing being pregnant and on your own, but now she had this miniature human being to take care of. And so far, Ness knew she failed.

Alice and Rosalie dropped by randomly, promising her uncles would come visit on the when they had a free weekend. It bothered her that her family worked excessively. As long as she could remember everyone was always busy. She used to see her family often but it was sporadic get togethers and rarely included everyone. Frustrated she put these thoughts aside when the nurse Jeanie came in with grave news.

Renesmee was informed that if she wanted her child to live, the hospital needed permission to do a blood transfusion. With that information she flipped out. Shouting and crying. A nurse escorted her out of the NICU, and she was not to return unless she calmed down. She wanted to talk to Jacob, but he was in Seattle unpacking his things into a new dorm room. Knowing Jacob was, now, only an hour away settled her. However, she had to pull herself together and make a difficult decision.

In the empty hallways of the hospital, she watched nurses going about their business. A door down the corridor continuously opened and closed. It was driving her crazy. It was annoying as a leaky faucet. The swinging of the door, opened and closed, opened and closed. Finally, Ness shouted. "Uuugghhh!" Irritated beyond belief, Ness rubbed her face with her hands, then raked them through her hair. Not a single soul paid attention. Ness felt invisible, as if no one could recognize how much she was hurting inside. Clamping a hand over her mouth, kept her loud sobs from echoing in the hallways. She leaned against the cold stark white wall with all her weight. Tears began forming and she sank to the floor, both hands now covering her mouth. Sucking up the tears –or trying- she pulled out her cell and dialed. She knew she needed to call Jake and let him know, but she didn't. She called her father.

He answered calm. His voice was always smooth and comforting in ways, but she could still sense how much their relationship had changed. "Hello?"

"D-daddy?" she whimpered from the floors of the hospital.

"Renesmee," he replied urgently. He knew there could only be one thing she called him about, and that was his granddaughter. " What is it? Is everything alright? How's Sarah Kai?"

"Th-they said Kai needs a," she sobbed wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand, "a blood transfusion and I don't know what to do. I'm scared."

"Hold on love, I'll be there."

Ness remained in her designated spot, on the cold floors, for some time. She tucked her legs to her chest, laid her forehead against her knees, and continued to cry. Not just because she was scared, but because she was angry and sad and disappointed about the circumstances. Why did Ness have to deal with a premature baby? As if having a baby at eighteen wasn't hard enough, she had to deal with a sick preemie also. _Why me_? She questioned.

At the moment, she needed her family, desperately. But everyone was busy. She hated that, and she despised being so needy and longing for someone's presence, but not just anyone, she wanted Jacob. _He should be here with me_, she pondered. He already had plans to visit that evening, so Ness decided not to bother him, or urge him to leave school early to come. It could jeopardize his education, and that would be unfair to him. She couldn't force him to choose between her and his schooling. Although, she wanted to. Suddenly, feeling guilty Ness cried more. She felt her chest tighten and she found it hard to find breath. _I'm gonna ruin Jake's life_, she thought.

In the matter of an hour, Edward left his post at Fork's hospital to be there for his daughter and granddaughter. He found Renesmee, sitting lifelessly in the exact spot she called him. Helping her up, he encouraged her to be with Kai while he spoke to the Neonatal doctor.

Ness clung to the incubator staring at her little girl. Her dark hair was so much like Jacob's and her eyes, Ness had yet to see their true color. _What kind of a mother didn't know the color of their child's eyes? _Unexpectedly_, _the tears fell, again, as Ness thought, _I'm a horrible mother_. Ness couldn't understand why she felt guilty, but she couldn't help herself. She didn't purposely mean to harm her daughter, but she knew how carless she was with her body in the first months of her pregnancy.

During lunch, Ness could not eat. She couldn't even think of food, when her daughter was struggling to feed and get the nutrients she needed. Ness remained in the NICU with her daughter, while Edward went into a long meeting with the hospital administrator. They tried to figure out Sarah Kai's paperwork. The results of her lab work did not add up. Originally, Kai's iron levels were normal and suddenly, they dropped after the many blood tests. Why so many tests were ran on her, was a mystery. They explored the options of a lawsuit, but Ness was not mentally stable enough to deal.

The dismaying sight of the NICU made Ness feel a detachment from her daughter. Almost as if they wouldn't get along, because they weren't allowed to. She wasn't allowed to touch her, or hold her. All Ness starved for, was bonding time with Kai, and the stupid doctors couldn't allow that just yet. Ness swore they'd be strangers forever.

In the very late afternoon, Jake walked into very warm the Neonatal Care Unit. With all the babies, incubators, machines, noises, bright lights and nurses around, he could only see Ness, sitting in the corner where their baby was stationed. She was on a stiff appearing chair. A leg was up by her chest. Her arms were tightly wrapped around the leg. Her chin rested on the knee and her other legs was tucked away beneath her rear. Just looking at the back of her, depressed him. Jake could feel how much misery she was in. And he empathized and understood.

Going back to school for those three days was hell. During class his mind chanted, _Sarah Kai and Ness, Sarah Kai and Ness._ He was unfocused, constantly texting Ness and his father. It was not a good way to start out his semester. Though, from the last report ness gave him, Kai was doing well and her heart rate was now at normal speed. Part of him was walking on cloud nine. He was so in love, with his daughter, and with Renesmee. All he wanted or needed was in this hospital.

When Jacob came up behind the mother of his child, he kissed her overheated cheek as he yanked his jacket off. "Hey, how are my girls?"

Ness could not say a word, nor turn to greet him. Her eyes stayed glued to her daughter as if she was mindlessly watching television. Jacob heard her sniffle. And he asked, "What? What's the matter?"

Moving her head to view Jacob, she went to speak. All that came out was a squeaking noise as her bottom lip quivered, she almost couldn't release air when the flood gates parted. She shed oversized tears, for perhaps the hundredth time that day. Around her engorged lips, and beneath her bloodshot eyes were red blotches. It was evident she had been crying all day and the dark circles cradling her eyes made her appear as tired as she felt.

Jake squatted down until he was at her eye level. Taking her face in his tan hands, he kissed her. As she gasped for air, and continued to cry, she could not kiss him back. She wanted to, but couldn't find enough energy to do so. After another peck to her lips, then one lingering kissed to her forehead, he asked, "Baby what's wrong?"

Once she found her voice, she grabbed his hands, removing them from her face. Squeezing them tightly, she said, "That stupid lady, I know this was her. She continued to do constant tests on her and I asked her not to."

Jacob knew what she was speaking about, but he was not sure where she was taking this. "What are you talking about?"

Ness gripped his hands tighter, angrier. "That stupid fuckin' nurse Jeanie, I swear on my fuckin life if I see her-"

"Shh-shh-shh," he babied her, and kissed her, which slowed her words, "What are you talking about?"

"Kai's anemic," she informed.

"_Fuck_," he silently growled in disappointment. He had been so hopeful that she would make it through, with no problems. He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up.

"Her red blood cell," she breathed, "count is really, low. Dangerously low." Ness tried to hold in her sobs, but couldn't when she finished her sentence. Jacob and Renesmee both overlooked their daughter. Beneath the plastic of the incubator and under wires and tubes their daughter lay, sleeping, fighting for air. Ness sniveled, "L-look at her, she's, she's almost gray."

Jacob skimmed his fingertips over the back of Ness's hand. He flipped her palms up. Ness gazed on as he lightly kissed them both. It was a gesture, she remembered. The night she told Jacob she was pregnant, he didn't believe her at first. When he did, the uneasiness was written all over his face. The one thing she thought to do was kiss his palms, to comfort him, to thank him. He was returning that favor. It gave her courage again. She laced her fingers between his and leant forward to kiss him on the cheek.

With their hands still laced together, Jacob came to his feet and wondered, "What do we do?"

Ness didn't reply. She did not want to cry especially in front of Jacob. She wanted to appear strong but she just had to let it out why Jacob gave her permission. "You can cry Renesmee, I don't care."

Salty droplets of water glided down her cheeks. All the distress she held inside, wanted to escape from between her eyebrows. The ache forced her to hug Jacob's waist. She nuzzled her face into his abdomen. Consoling her, he petted her head. When she calmed, he asked, "How do they treat anemia?"

"My dad spoke to the doctor, we could either give her a blood transfusion or Epogen."

"Epogen?"

"It's a synthetic blood, or medication that…I don't know what it is?" she moaned, " It's for kidney disease patients, but they said because I just gave birth I can't give blood."

"Can I?" he queried.

Jake went to asked Dr. Duncan, the women who delivered Kai, if he could donate his blood. She referred them to a neonatologist, who sat the couple down explaining the importance of red blood cells –which was something Kai was lacking. Red blood cells carried hemoglobin, which carried the oxygen through the body. Most newborns should have hemoglobin levels higher than fifteen grams. There were so many test ran on Kai, resulting in the low hemoglobin levels causing her severe anemia. The neonatologist, confirmed, the primary nurse assigned to Kai, Jeanie, did more blood tests than needed and approved for.

The neonatologist asked them to wait, while they made room for Jacob to donate his blood. Together, they sat speaking of how one another felt. Ness could not stand feeling incompetent, overwhelmed and useless and she found out Jacob felt the same. Whatever anxiety Ness was in, Jacob emulated it tenfold. She never thought about it, until he clarified his feelings. He explained how worried he was about her during labor, and even now, he was concerned about her mental health. There was no evidence to prove this, except the faith she had in him again. It was an inadequate trust, but it was more trust than she had after he admitted to having sex with Charlene.

She knew gradually, she'd have that blind trust in him again. If she fell, he would catch her. Sitting in the NICU was painful, but as the young parents expressed their concerns and fears, about their daughter, Ness began to cry again. She did not want to continue to feel these agonizing emotions. Jake held her, saying, " We have to remind ourselves that feeling this way is good. It shows how much we love our daughter. Our pain is… heartfelt."

Waiting for Jacob to be able to give blood stretched on forever. Or at least that's how the couple felt. While waiting, Edward came in and suggested they consider filing a lawsuit against, either the hospital or nurse. He left to go speak with his brother, Emmett, who was a lawyer in Seattle. Aunt Rosalie said he loved to argue. Apparently, the career suited him well.

Finally, Jacob was able to give blood for directed donation, meaning the blood donated had a specific receiver it was directed for. It would take a couple of days to prepare and be tested for compatibility.

Dabbing the tears away with the sleeves of her sweater, she wondered when they would get the results from the blood compatibility test. While doing so, Jake helped ease her for the time being. He was hopeful and optimistic when Renesmee couldn't be. He spoke of the dreams and plans he had for them as a family. Again, he mentioned marriage and Ness didn't know how to take it. He said it was something Kai deserved. She deserved to have her parents together, to grow up with mother and father in the same home.

The awkwardness of that comment hung over her head. Avoiding it she redirected the conversation to Sarah Kai's health. Yet, it lingered in her mind. Marrying Jacob -being something their daughter deserved- seemed honorable. Although, Ness couldn't say what relationship she had with her best friend. Marrying for the sake of a child was not a good idea. It was something she discussed with Bella before a soul knew she was pregnant. Ness reminded herself, _You should never force love._

Day turned to night and even then, Ness pondered being with him.

Tuckered out and unfulfilled Jacob and Renesmee left the hospital to get some sleep. On the drive to the nearest hotel the mother cracked. She hadn't left the hospital since Sarah Kai had been born and leaving the hospital empty handed, had her body uninhabitaed. The life and soul inside her remained with her sickly baby.

Thankfully, Jake decided to stay with her through the night, and leave in the early morning. He wanted to be there for Ness incase the night nurse called wanting them to head to the hospital for some reason. Luckily, they never received a call.

The sleepless night was spent speaking about whether or not file a malpractice lawsuit against the nurse. They wondered if the transfusion was a onetime thing or would this affect Sarah Kai, her entire life? And if anything happens further, to her daughter, Ness would hold nurse Jeanie responsible and she even had a gruesome fantasy of beating the nurse to a bloody pulp. Jake urged her to stay positive and swore this happened for whatever reason.

Continuing to talk, Jake suggested they pray. This was a first for the couple. Lying across the full sized mattress, they clasped their hands, and their foreheads were pressed together. They spoke about their mutual concerns as a couple. Ness said the Our Father, and they silently prayed for the same things -for no more unexpected diagnoses or diseases, for a recovering and healthy daughter and they dreamed of nothing but Kai leading a normal healthy life.

Ness was dropped off at the hospital around seven in the morning, so Jacob could head to school. A short while later Bella showed up, just as they prepped Sarah Kai for the blood transfusion. She was there for moral support and with Jacob gone, Ness needed it.

Through the weeks she Sarah Kai struggled. She was on the NICU rollercoaster. One day she'd be doing so well, and in a second her health declined. Due to being tired, she couldn't feed on her own, her lungs we're slightly weak, so to be on the safe side, they had her on respiratory support.

Nessie's daughter, was fragile beyond imagination but after the transfusion she already appeared healthier. For the first time, she opened her eyes and Ness was completely devastated when she didn't catch that on camera. They were the oddest color of a deep dark blue, with brown freckles. She called Jacob telling him to bring a camera, on his next visit. Ness began capturing every moment, every milestone her daughter had was now recorded. There wasn't a day that went by that the camera wasn't connected to her hand.

Not wanting to return to La Push, Ness spent another night in a hotel. Edward and Bella recognized this. They offered to rent out a vacation rental so she could stay in Port Angeles with Kai. It was an offer should could not and would not refuse. Three minutes from the hospital was a small studio apartment. It was nothing but it had the essentials.

Renesmee even completed her high school credits and signed up for several online classes at Peninsula Community College. Over the phone she got things in order at work. Peter Bankwell was gracious and understanding with Renesmee, promising when she was ready to come back. Several things were falling in place but there was still Sarah Kai to deal with.

Seeing Sarah Kai with all the monitors, tubes, tests, and machines made Ness want to die. It was disturbing, and she wanted to take whatever pain she felt away. If Ness could be in her place she would do it. The toughest thing was sitting back and being told that it was up to the baby. She had plenty of time think and worry. She tried to face squelch fears, but that fear of losing her baby was always there. Jake was supportive but clearly irritated that Ness saw the gloomier side of things. When Jacob started connecting with his daughter, Ness was afraid to get too attached.

On one occasion Ness spoke to Jacob, informing she was never mentally prepared for a preemie, she was finally adjusting to having a baby in general. She wasn't sure if she helping Kai's recovery or making it worse. Every time she saw that she felt numb and her brain was almost blank. She'd crack and curse the nurses. At the time, Jacob couldn't handle being around Renesmee. If she broke, he broke. His visits slowed because of this. Ness didn't know Jacob cried every time he left.

At one point Jacob didn't visit for almost two weeks. He missed his girls but seeing Ness depressed and a struggling Kai was overpowering. He couldn't even speak with Renesmee about it because she didn't care. Sometime during all this she reverted into that immature teen. She became a martyr and only cared about her feelings and Kai's health. She failed to see that, everything she felt Jacob felt tenfold. The argued but never at the NICU. The nights he stayed over at the vacation rental were some pretty tense nights. Especially the time that Jacob, Edward and Emmett handled the lawsuit. It had been settled, and all medical expenses paid for and nurse Jeanie was fired. During Jacob's absence Kai went into a type of remission. Renesmee knew it was because he hadn't visited. She had to have a second transfusion and again, Jacob felt it was his fatherly duty to take care of his daughter and donate blood again.

It was not until a weeks later that they talked Renesmee's frustration out.

They had just come home from the NICU and Jacob went to get food. Ness wasn't eating much and on this particular night, she wouldn't take a bite of food.

"You have to eat something Ness."

Getting up from the small bistro table of the kitchen, she said,"You shouldn't have wasted money on food."

Jake retorted taking a bite of a burger, "We have to eat Renesmee."

Ness sat the bag of fast food on the countertop as Jake overlooked her thinning body. It angered him that she was hurting so much and he didn't know what to do. He replied cuttingly, " You have to eat!"

"I don't wanna fuckin' eat!" she yelled and the entire conversation shifted to Kai, "I can't do this Jacob! I can't! I don't want to be a mom!"

"You're not even happy the tiniest bit, are you?"

"How can I feel happy? I feel miserable. I can't stand feeling this way. I don't want to feel like I'm dying because she's suffering! I, don't, I don't feel like a mom…" she breathed heavily. " I'm not helping I'm only making everything worse. What if she never gets better ?"

He wiped the greasy food from his face and hands with a napkin and coming to his feet. Walking up to her, he grabbed her shoulders. "She'll get better."

Nessie's head sank low as she moved it left to right. She didn't believe him.

Placing a finger under her chin, he lifted her head. When Ness looked into his eyes he said, "Having a baby is an overwhelming thing Nessie, but remember everything we feel is, so much more intense. It's magnified because of this situation and we're inexperienced but we want to protect our daughter, and nurse her back to health but we need help. We have to know the nurses are only here to help us, not make us feel disconnected from Kai-Kai."

"I don't trust them Jacob. Why should I? After what the women did-"

"She's gone Ness, she got fired. Emmett helped us win that case and her medical bills are paid for. Don't worry."

Ness stumbled through the entire conversation, "Jacob I can't sleep, I have no control over this and, what if she never gets better? What if she only lives for a few more months and, she-she…"

He shouted, "Stop Renesmee! I won't listen to this!"

Ness rubbed the side of her head as if she had a head ache.

"We have her now!" Jake yelled louder, " At this moment she's with us, so stop!"

Ness left the kitchen area and stormed off to the bed, where she began crying. Kai was struggling with her eating, and after a second transfusion Ness lost all hope. Jake was getting harsher and short with Renesmee as the days went by. He shouted at her a lot for being morbid and negative but she wanted to prepare for the worst, it made her feel in control in some way.

Jacob too felt powerless, but he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't keep arguing with Ness because of this.

"Renesmee?" he whispered from the edge of the bed. She wouldn't answer.

"Nessie?" he called again, sitting on the edge of the bed. He began rubbing her back and begged her to talk to him.

Nessie's laid on her stomach, holding a pillow to her face as she cried.

Suddenly, warm arms wrapped around her. Her body wanted to cave, but her mind was stringer at the moment. She pushed him of her and turned her back to him.

Jake looked on and began to talk. "I feel like-"

She mumbled into the pillow, "Don't talk to me Jake."

Her words, pissed Jacob off. Every time he was about to dive into his feeling she shut him out. She was shutting everything out. She wouldn't even help out with Kai in the NICU. She almost ignored Kai's existence.

He removed his hand from her back and got up from the bed. "I'm sorry. I don't want to do this,"

Ness sprang up. Like a seal, her belly stayed on the bed and her head twisted to meet Jacob. Her eyes went wide and she wiped her tears away. In fear, she asked, "You don't wanna what?"

"I think I'm going to go back to Seattle."

"No…" She whimpered now kneeling on the bed. Her crying began again. "You're going to leave me?"

"Are you gonna talk to me?"

"Yes! Yes! Just don't leave me here alone."

Pacing over to the bed Jacob went back to the bed and sat completely on the bed.

"Listen to how I feel. Okay just listen. You don't give me a chance, to tell you how I feel."

Ness lied down on the bed, and began, "I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't talk."

Her mouth snapped shut and she listened.

"I worry about you."

"Me?" she queried, confused. How could he worry about her when their daughter was the one who should be worried about? " Jacob I'm fine."

"You don't act fine, and let me talk," he looked down at her. She was sniffling, and drying her tears. He continued, " You're beginning to shut down. Not eating, not sleeping. You're not even involved in helping out with Kai at the hospital."

Ness knew she didn't help. She was scared to hurt her, or to make a mistake. All she could do was stare at her and wish things were different.

Jacob laid at her side and scooped her up forcing her to lay across his chest. The fabric on his shoulder soaked up her tears. Ness flung her arms around him as he cradled her.

Pulling away, he said, "I know this hard but I feel what you feel. You worry about Kai but I worry about both of you. I told you once before everything I feel is what you feel, but times ten. I worry about Kai too, but you have to see everything could be so much worse. She's not dead and she's not dying. She's getting better, and she'll only get better when you start to be strong."

Ness nodded frantically and kissed his neck with tear stained cheeks.

"I'll try harder Jake," she moved herself up closer to Jacob's face to kiss him again. "I will," she promised as Jake lips came to her neck. All the inadequacy felt, temporarily left Nessie's head as Jake sucked on her pulse points. A hand slipped beneath her shirt. His fingertips touched the skin of her rib cage. And Ness obliged him to remove his shirt. Not much happened after that but every time Jacob was in town and stayed the night, the young parents found themselves kissing like there was no tomorrow.

On the third week, the parents began cocooning. They simply cup one hand over Sarah Kai's tiny little head and with her other hand cupped, curl their small skinny legs up close to them. As time went on, Ness learned to listen to the nurses even when she was frustrated.

She was told to speak to her daughter, which would sooth her. Though, Ness found it hard to form words, but when Jacob visited he was a chatter box. He constantly spoke to Kai, and when it came time that they were allowed to hold her Jacob told stories about his family, about Ness, he even started buying books and reading them to her. She loved it.

Renesmee tried harder like she promised Jacob. She thought positively and began helping with such things as taking her temperature and changing her. Anything the nurse did, Ness asked if she or Jacob could do it. Although, it was nerve wracking she did it.

When it came time to do kangaroo care, the young parents were afraid to handle her, but they supported one another. Ness held Sarah Kai skin to skin across her chest. A flood of emotions swept over her making her cry. She didn't feel much and that guilt hit her hard. She couldn't feel the connection, because mother and daughter were both just there. It was horrible to think Jacob had to miss out on the first days she was able to leave her little tray.

Eventually, Jacob began kangaroo care, and he continued to talk up a storm. Ness envied that he could speak to her so naturally when she couldn't think of a word to say.

Gradually, Sarah Kai grew stronger and healthier. Ness could bottle feed and she wouldn't tire. She didn't need oxygen anymore because her little lungs breathed on their own and she produced enough body fat to produce her own body heat.

Her cheeks continued to plump up.

There was one particular evening Ness took a picture of Jacob kangarooing Kai, who was crying. It was strange and rare, that she was crying. Usually she was very well behaved with him. She was sure it was his voice. But as she continued to cry, Ness had the urge to take her. Setting the camera down , she asked to hold her. Jacob didn't move from the small padded rocking chair as he handed the bundled of sheets containing Kai, over. Ness carefully took her into her arms.

Coming to his feet, Jake placed his hand on the small of Nessie's back. He urged, "Sit Ness. Sit."

Ness rock but she didn't stop crying. Her chubby little face was turning red and remained scrunched up. The night nurse offered to take her, but Ness wouldn't have it. She wanted her to stop crying.

Jacob said, "Talk to her Ness."

Lovingly, Ness kissed her babies forehead and spoke. "Kai-Kai you don't have to cry, it's momma."

Almost immediately, Kai went silent. Her beautiful dark eyes opened and looked up to Renesmee. The bright lights overhead, forced Kai to blink several times before she shut her eyes. Ness smiled, and brought tiny head up to rest on her shoulder.

Ness saw Jacob smiling.

"What?" she wondered.

He crossed his arms and said, "I guess she wanted her momma."

And with that comment, Ness finally felt like a mother.

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**Author's Note:**Originally, this would have been two paragraphs but my imagination ran wild. Anyways, somehow these two paragraphs turned into an entire chapter. Ekk! And I really hope you like it. Can ya'll do me a favor and let me know if I'm writing in too much filler, or if this is alright? Also, I have a request of ya'll. My style of writing on fanfic differs from my fictionpress. A while ago, I had someone tell me I went way to into detail and I should simplify. SO I have simplified on fanfic. Could you go read a chapter of one of my stories on fictionpress and tell me if you prefer my detailed writing, or simpler style. The link to fictionpress in on my profile. Let me know if you can tell the difference, or if you could care less. I would appreciate it.

The preview I gave will be in the next chapter, if you review I will give you a second preview to the chapter. ;) I promise, there will be lemons.

**Special thanks to:** keedy, EZeeBaby, nessiehugs, nj11, tazsgirl6969, , Efficient Vixen, mojojojo152, Dani, luv2beloved, ky, SLM84, Tashay789, nfanpepsi, Dazzler916, sweet and sassy nessie, lena0123, Dreamcatcher94, hartleysgirl, roxy, f3licia95, Jazzy, Carlee Adison, renesmee9 black, polly2010, Anonymous, TwilightSy, Via Call, JustADamnBOOK, dkgors, and Monique1991. All your support and reviews keep me writing this story. Thank you.

Anonymous-: I've heard of google docs but google knows enough about what I search for and what I get in my e-mail through g-mail. They don't need to see what I'm writing. I just have to save up for a mac, my boyfriend's had his for four years now and he hasn't had a single problem. So, I'll just have to suck it up for a while. And I'm glad you mentioned the Edward and Ness, weak, reconciling. I don't necessarily see it as a "you're completely forgiven," thing. I see it more as them now being on speaking terms. I guess I'll write in a more heartfelt talk between father and daughter later on. As for your other two questions, those will be addressed later on in the story. All in due time my friend. I want to thank you for giving me a wonderfully thought out review. I wish you were a member so I could send you a preview. Much LOVE, Happy Reading!


	32. In the Advance

A/N: Uhm...warning this is rated M and a very long chapter. Nearly, 1000 words to be exact. So if your running short on time save this for another time. But because this is a long chapter, I EXPECT LONG REVIEWS. Tell me what you like and dislike. Tell me your opinions, ideas and worries about this story. It will be very appreciated and to those of you who do review, you know I always reply. Much Love and Happy Reading!

* * *

_"All for love…and nothing for reward."_

**Chapter 32 – In the Advance-**

(7 weeks 5 days after birth)

It was raining again. Not pouring, but there was a light drizzle. On the floor, Ness sat tucked between a miniature table and the couch. Spread across the undersized tabletop was a laptop, English textbook and notebook for her online course. Unable to concentrate, she sat up and fetched a blanket. Swathing herself in the warm fleece, Ness gaped out the open blinds thinking of a peculiar situation that happened last week.

Rosalie had come to the hospital, for her weekly visit with Renesmee and Sarah Kai. It was an unexpected stopover, but Ness was appreciative of the support. After an hour, Jacob arrived to be with his beautiful daughter. Under the rules of NICU, only two family members were permitted to visit with a patient at a time. Expecting Rose to be angry at her, Ness asked to her out to the hallways away from the NICU full of premature babies. Naturally, she asked her aunt to leave, in order for Jake to visit with his daughter. To no surprise, the blonde exploded. Instantly, Rose asked why Ness allowed Jacob in when he wasn't family. She remembered her response well. Ness firmly said, "Rosalie, Jacob is my family. He's Sarah Kai's father and my best friend… He's my family."

Aunt Rose went quiet, giving a cruel look to the man standing behind Ness. Jacob had followed the women out and at the sight of him, Rose saw red. Rosalie began accusing Jacob of being a horrible father for leaving Ness to her own devices with Sarah Kai. He unquestionably defended his parenting skills and repeated what Renesmee had claimed. "If you have a problem with me visiting my family, you're just going to have to learn to deal, cuz I'm gonna be around a long time Rosalie."

Aggravated by the entire ordeal, Rosalie snarled at the young father, and Jacob actually clenched his fists. It began to get ridiculous. First Edward had a problem with Jake and now Rose. Ness couldn't stand it. She advised Jake to head back into NICU while she spoke with Rosalie alone. He obeyed and went to see his daughter. Straightaway, the very second the boy stepped back into the NICU doors, Rosalie questioned, "Are you with him Renesmee?"

Her answer was simple and somewhat heartbreaking to her. "No."

Rose fastened the strap of the coat around her waist, preparing to leave. She left Ness with a meditative comment. "You have to choose Ness. You're either with him or not."

Renesmee had been preoccupied with that question all week, but she couldn't bring herself to answer it. If she did, it would somehow cement their future, and commitment scared her. She bequeath to her exes. She gave into their demands, until she got bored, and put all her focus and energy back on Jacob. What if she chose to be with him, then the disinterest followed? Renesmee didn't want to lose interest in Jacob, she didn't want to set herself up for failure. All her previous relationships collapsed, so why wouldn't a relationship with her best friend disintegrate?

Renesmee couldn't even make sense as to why Rosalie cared about her relationship with Jacob. Nevertheless, she had to take one step at a time. The first thing on her list of worries, was Kai.

Irritably, Ness looked away from the cloudy skies and turned back to her school work. It was weird that rainy days once reminded her of Jacob, and now, it not only reminded her of him, but it made her think of Sarah Kai as well. She had been born on a rainy afternoon.

Once more, Ness became distracted from her work and reflected on her daughter's recovery. She and Jacob were ecstatic with Sarah Kai's progress. No more transfusions, no more wires, no more tubes for breathing or to aid her feedings. She was plumping up, with fat cheeks and a round belly. Her hair was staying a dark brown and her eyes were changing form a deep dark blue, to a breath taking umber. Ness was positive, she would have Jacob's caramel colored eyes. Sarah Kai was strong, and interactive, and could distinguish between her mother and father.

With Jacob she always got comfortable and quiet. It didn't take much time for her to fall fast asleep in his safe arms. It was as if she almost sensed his good energy, and was lulled asleep by his soothing voice. Whereas with Ness, Sarah Kai whimpered until her mother spoke to her. And every time Ness spoke to her daughter, Kai would go quiet. Her little eyes would flutter open and try so hard to stay open, in order to stare at her mother, but the bright lights always forced them shut. Ness went to lengths as to help her, by buying a hat. Therefore, mother and daughter could just stare at one another.

Shyly smiling to herself, Ness never imagined she would be so in love. A life without her daughter would be pointless. _And_ _a life without Jacob would be pointless_, she thought.

Retrieving her phone, Ness decided to text Jake for the hell of it before she headed to the NICU for the rest of the afternoon.

When there was a knock at the door, Ness set her phone down and got up from her warm spot on the couch. She then recalled that Claire was stopping by with her mail. Padding her sock covered feet over to open the door, she yawned. She was exhausted, but ready to see her daughter.

Claire entered the studio shaking herself dry. She greeted Ness with a hug and commented on the cute apartment Ness had been staying in. She handed over the mail and Ness thanked her. As she began opening an envelope, she insisted Claire sit on the couch while she waited for Quil to get out of his Saturday class.

Ness quizzed Claire about her boyfriend's where abouts. "Is Quil outta his class yet?"

Falling stiffly on the small loveseat, Claire replied anxiously, "Soon. In a half hour. How's Sarah Kai?"

"Doing better," she said looking at a congratulatory card from Jacob's sister. Becca, and a gift card to the local superstore was enclosed inside, "She doesn't need an incubator anymore, and she can breathe and eat on her own. She should be able to come home."

"I'm sure they will Ness, stop worrying so much about it."

In the midst of looking over the amount on the gift card, Ness peeked up at her friend, cocked her head and lifted an eyebrow.

Claire threw her hands up surrendering "Okay, she's your daughter worry all you want."

Smiling, Renesmee responded, "I will."

Renesmee went back to her mail that included; a cell phone, a electric bill and an eviction letter she was expecting. She had two weeks to either move out or pay the rent she owed. It scared Ness but she hadn't been home in over a month, she hadn't worked in over a month so her rent had not been paid. She knew she should have called Mr. Emerson, the landlord, and informed him about her whereabouts and the lack of rent, but she was over consumed with Sarah Kai. Who could blame her?

Sighing, Ness closed her text book and powered down her laptop to resume speaking with Claire. She would think about schoolwork, the eviction, and figure out a housing plan when she returned home.

Claire, took notice to Nessie's far off look, then she saw the course work on the table and stated, "I can't believe you graduated, and you're already in college."

Snapping out of her trance, Renesmee thought over Claire's words and agreed, "Weird huh? Once we bring Kai home, I don't know if it'll be worth it to drive out here."

"It's school Ness, I think it's worth it."

She sat next to Claire on the floral printed loveseat shrugging. "For this semester I guess."

"So you still get to walk at graduation?"

Ness nodded, "Yeah."

"Did you still wanna walk with me?"

"I thought that was the plan?"

"Okay good," Claire reacted with relief, "When you left school I was afraid I'd have to walk with some random person. All my other friends are guys and they're all paired up. "

Ness turned back to the eviction warning letter and read it over once again. The girls went mute, the only sound was the rain pelting against the window. Randomly, Claire asked, "Do you ever miss school?"

Shaking her head, Ness said, "Not really."

"What about all your old friends?"

Humming, Ness forced her eyebrows together and imprudently declared, "They stopped talking to me, except you, sometimes I talk to Embry. He calls and asks about Kai and stuff. But I have Jacob."

Claire gawked at a beaming Renesmee. The sunny disposition of the new mother made the teen say, "Ooohh, I bet you have Jacob."

Curiously, Ness wondered, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, ya guys get it on!"

Claire's outburst made Ness uncomfortable, and it forced her think of the one time they did have sex. Damn, how she wanted it again. Lifelessly, she retorted, "Not really, no."

"Really?" Claire countered, genuinely surprised, "But you want to don't you?"

With her eyes downcast, Nessie's fingers smoothed over the folds in the eviction letter. Where would she go? Where would her daughter live? Why did she want to have sex with Jacob so badly? She contemplated, _Why am I even asking these questions? I can move back in with my parents –even though my dad'll be there- and I don't want_ _Jacob, I'm just hormonal still…_ she tried to convince herself, _yeah, I'm still hormonal from the pregnancy._

Claire repeated desperately, " Don't you want to?"

Lifting her shoulders, Ness turned her gaze away from Claire. She shrugged. "I don't know?"

"Well I'm horny!" She exclaimed making Ness uncomfortable again.

Sinking into the couch, Ness laughed, "Oh my Gosh, Claire!"

Claire raised her hand interestedly, her palm facing the ceiling. "What? I haven't seen Quil in a few days and I could use a good fucking."

"Claire, oh my gosh, are you serious?"

Claire leaned in closer to Ness almost whispering like this was some secret. "Yeah, I mean, come on don't you ever feel that way?"

Innocently, she asked, "What way?"

"Like you just need to be taken advantage of?"

Not waiting for a response, Claire continue talking. "I think if you needed a sense of relief, you should ask Jacob. I don't know how you can stand being away from him but being away from Quil sexually frustrates me beyond belief…"

Claire needn't say such things. Renesmee already thought about them on her own.

Kicking her sock covered heels up on the coffee table, Ness crossed her arms thinking. After the whole ordeal with the surprise sleep over at the hotel, she swore she was going to have sex with Jacob, when she wasn't pregnant. This time around, she'd be prepared and she wanted to be the best he ever had. _Why_? She pondered. Ness had no clue why, but she just wanted to be his best. It's why she had been silently working out the past month. Nothing major, but she'd jog up the block to the hospital and jog back. She didn't have weights, but lifted canned foods, water bottles or anything her hand could clasp that had weight to it. Squats and lunges became a regular routine as well. And her not eating and breast feeding during Kai's first month, also aided to her losing the weight fast. However, she knew her body would never be the same. She poked at her soft tummy seeing that she wasn't prepare for Jacob, not like she wanted to be.

Claire rambled on besides Ness, but she hardly heard a word. She knew it was rude but she couldn't help but wonder if she and Jacob would ever take that next step.

A half an hour later, Nessie's friend left to meet Quil at the community college. She began getting ready to head out when she received a joyful call from the hospital. They revealed the best news a mother could get. Her baby had a clean bill of health, and was waiting in her isolette, ready to come home within the next few days.

In a fit of excitement, Ness called Jacob. It rang for several times before Jake answered, "Hey!"

Ness did not greet him but gave the astounding update."They said we can take Kai home tomorrow!"

"Really?" Jake exclaimed.

Throwing a jacket on she shouted, "Yes, tomorrow!"

"I'm gonna drive out as soon as I get off work."

"Are you sure?" she quizzed. He had been working hard at the shop. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays were full days for him. Anywhere in between he showed up to the garage, to deliver parts to customers and other shops. He had been working himself crazy, but all that hard work paid off when he became a key holder. That meant commission plus an hourly wage. Ness was proud of Jake for his hard work with school, football and work but it didn't make sense for him to miss out on a pay check. Kai still had minimal hospital bills and Billy still had medical bills as well. Also, Jake had been expecting a royalty check from Oregon state. Plus, Kai would be home by his next visit.

"Yes," he countered. Ness heard the chuckle his voice. "I want to bring my daughter home."

"Do you want to just meet at the hospital?"

"No. I'll check on Kai then meet you at the house. That way we can bring her home together."

"Okay" Ness said trying to cut the conversation short so she could head over to the hospital, "I gotta pack up and go tell the owner of the vacation rental that I'm leaving the apartment."

" Kay, I gotta get back to class."

"Yeah I have to go to school and talk to my counselor, then I'll be on my way to the hospital."

"You signed up for classes?"

"Yeah, I started the course work a week ago. All of my classes are online except one. My American History one starts tomorrow."

"Good, I'm glad, "Jake replied pleased. Ness liked that she made him proud. " Okay baby I gotta go."

" Kay Love you," she responded, not really wanting to end the call.

"Love you too. See you tomorrow."

+The following day+

Quickly, Ness began accumulating pictures, always of Jacob or Kai. She only had the disposable cameras but it was enough. Occasionally, when she couldn't be at the NICU, she's take a photograph, to craft together a scrap book page. Knowing the reality of loss, she decided to capture every moment she could. And there wasn't a day gone by that Ness hadn't looked back at those pictures. Just seeing the snap shots, provided her with tender feelings of fondness and devotion. It was interesting, because a few months ago she didn't even want a baby. Renesmee couldn't believe she actually contemplated abortion. She was completely ashamed at the thoughts she once had, and she hated herself for it.

On her way to her American History class, Renesmee tugged at the scarf around her neck. It was much too tight. Ness pulled out and began to look through the photos she had just had developed. A few were of her family members with Kai, Jacob's family and even a few with Embry holding her. Ness smiled uncontrollable as she stared a shoot of Jacob and Kai on Valentine's Day. That day had been the first time Ness was allowed to put an outfit on her daughter. Of course she chose an ostentatious red velvet dress, and she forced Jacob to wear a t-shirt with a big pink heart on it. Ness giggled at the memory of coercing him to wear the shirt. He did not like it, but he did it for Sarah Kai.

Sitting in class, Ness heard the teacher going over the semester's syllabus, but she couldn't get that day out of her mind. Jacob greeted her with a dozen roses, a baby book –that she had been talking about getting for a few weeks- and an avid kiss. He even bought Sarah Kai a single rose and set it by her isolette. However, that kiss instigated some inappropriate p.d.a. It, being Valentine's day, must have subconsciously made the parents become lovey dovey. Because truly, there was no reason as to what came over the couple that day, but they couldn't keep their hands off one another. They were even reprimanded by the head nurse and almost got kicked out of the NICU for canoodling. That's when Ness presented her present to Jake. She gave him the red t-shirt and a small photo album of Sarah Kai.

He complained how there was no pictures of her. She promised to give him pictures of him if he put on the tee and she told him to do it for Sarah Kai. Sighing, he agreed. Ness recalled how memorized she was by his tan stomach muscles. While he pulled off his shirt, they flexed and tightened. That was when she remembered her covenant to herself. She was going to have sex with him. One day, one way or another, she was going to have sex with him.

Before long, the class was let out for a ten minute break. Ness collected her things and spoke to the teacher about taking off earlier. He understood and gave her the needed materials for her homework.

As she opened the door a gust of chilly February air licked her face. Ness tucked her hands into her pockets of her leather jacket and started to walk when she heard, "Ness? Rensmee Cullen?"

Spinning on her heels, she was greeted by a handsomely sculpted face. She said in surprise, "Nahuel?"

"Wow," he smirked pulling her into an unwanted hug. Ness left her hands limply in her pockets and let the guy embrace her.

When he freed he said, " I haven't seen you since…"

She knew all too well the last time she had seen him. It was months ago. She was standing with Jacob and his family after the graduation ceremony. Nahuel and she made eye contact, and he smiled at her as if nothing had ever happened.

She flatly finished the sentence for him. "Your graduation."

"Yeah," he smiled. He pointed a finger at the classroom door. "Do you have this class?"

"Obviously."

"You graduated?"

She didn't answer. Seeing him cheery and unashamed was practically a slap in the face. He hadn't apologized to her for the happenings at prom nor spoken to her since then, and she didn't want to speak to him now. She actually wanted to just walk away.

" Cool, uhm," he continued scratching at his neck, "what brings you to Port Angeles? Last I heard you were running away to Oregon."

Breathing in a deep breath of icy air, Ness sighed and decided to be civil and set the record straight. "I'm not sure who your source is but no. I haven't left Forks. I'm actually on my way to the hospital so," she turned and waved, "I gotta go. Bye."

She didn't get very far. He clutched her forearm, preventing her from moving. "Wait, the hospital? Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I'm going to see my daughter."

Nahuel went rigid in his stance. "Daughter?"

"Yeah," Ness said pulling out the photos from her canvas messenger bag and proudly showed her ex a picture of her daughter. "She's almost two months old. Preemie," she declared sadly as she place the tucked the photos safely away in her bag, "she had a blood transfusion a few weeks ago, and I get to take her home for the first time."

"Wow, Renesmee Cullen, a mom? Congratulations," he said wrapping his fingers around her hip bone, "you look great!"

Ness raised an eyebrow. You couldn't even see her figure beneath the layers of cloths and a scarf. "Thanks," she muttered taking a step back, so his fingers slipped from her waist.

Frowning, curiously he questioned, "Can I ask who's the father is?"

Without complete hesitation Ness confirmed, " Jacob...Black."

Nahuel was quiet for some time. "So you _were_ fucking him while we were together," he accused with a few nods and without a hint of anger, " but it's Jacob so I guess I get it."

Ness tightened her fists –that were still in her pockets- and cocked her head. Irately, she quizzed Nahuel. " I don't. What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying you guys were always together. Makes sense that you two fucked. "

"I never cheated on you," she snarled. Offended by his comment, she proceeded, "With Jacob, or anyone else."

"Are you sure? I mean you have a kid with him Ren, I'm sure you two are joined at the hip, just like you were last year. He ruined our relationship."

"You ruined our relationship," Ness heatedly blamed him for the deterioration of their relationship ,"because you're impatient and don't know how to be celibate."

Then he began to apologize. " About that Renesmee, I-I shouldn't have behaved that way. I had some stuff going on, I found out my parents were separating, I didn't get into a UC and the rental place ordered the wrong tux-"

"So because you're having a shitty day, you freak out on me… because I wouldn't fuck you?" Ness huffed, " And for your information, I wasn't ready okay? I thought I was and I wasn't. I should have never promised something so, irresponsible."

Ness stormed off, but he followed and clutched her arm again.

"Don't touch me!" she exclaimed yanking her arm from his grasp and continually walking.

"Hey! Hey!" he called. He chased her and took a tighter hold on her arm. Standing stationary, Ness didn't tug at her arm. She looked closely into his almost black eyes, and swore there was sincerity. " I'm sorry Ness, I am. I'm sorry I was a dick."

She gave in, her gullibility made her believe him. "Don't worry about it."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"It's fine."

He unclutched his fingers and let Ness free. "So you and Jacob?"

She averted her eyes and exhaled. "No, just the baby."

"Do you have the same number?"

She wretchedly nodded.

"You should give me a call," he urged and flashed a stunning smile, "and we'll hang out."

"I don't know. I gotta go."

"When you're ready call me, my number hasn't changed and I could make it up to you."

She turned to start walking away. "If you really want to make it up to me, you can call me."

"I think I will. Bye Ness."

"See ya."

Ness drove to the hospital thinking of possibilities. Nahuel seemed interested, despite her being a mother. And if she had to be honest, he looked more attractive than she recalled. He was the embodiment of pretty boy, but Ness liked how attentive he could be. She entertained the idea of dating him again, maybe even having sex with him but then there was Jacob. Would he approve? She couldn't just start dating, not without Jacob's consent.

When was she going to be able to think outside their friendship and worry about a relationship? Gnawing at the inside of her lip, an griping the steering wheel tighter, she saw that their friendship held her hostage and she couldn't escape. She wasn't sure she wanted to, because their friendship meant the world to her.

+That Afternoon+

Ness spent the remainder of her morning with Sarah Kai, then she headed back to Forks for the first time since her daughter had been born. There were things at her house she needed to prepare for Sarah Kai's homecoming. She stopped by the Forks outfitters to pick up some groceries for the week. Knowing it was frigid out, Ness purchased a warm little jacket for Kai, as well as a few miscellaneous items. Ness regretfully placed the purchase on the credit card her father had given her, but she had no choice. It only made her remember the eviction notice.

As she rolled up to the home she hadn't been at in seven weeks, Nessie dabbed at her eyes. She failed. She proved her father right about her being immature. In her mind, she was an utter failure. Pushing the stressful thoughts aside, Ness collected the groceries from the car and decided she was going to clean up Kai's room despite her being forced to move out in two weeks. She would think about it another day. In the meantime, she put on a smile, and went on with her day.

While she was putting things away in the kitchen she heard the click of the deadbolt and the hinges of the front door creak open. Jacob shouted, "Ness?"

"I'm in the kitchen!"

Stepping into the outdated kitchen, Jacob saw Nessie placing a carton of milk in the fridge. Her wavy auburn hair was hanging limply at her back. The long sleeve shirt bunched up at her elbows fit her figure nicely and the dark denim jeans emphasized the shape of her rear end and legs.

Jacob studied Renesmee for a short while. He observed her movements noticing how she scratched her calve with the opposing foot, and she tilted her head back and forth as she removed items from a bag. Her mannerisms not only made him smirk, but they easily put him in the right mood.

"Hey," he greeted.

Busy with putting items away, Ness didn't rush to hug him, but she tucked her hair behind her ear and gazed at him over her shoulder. "Hi. Did you stop by the hospital?"

"Yeah," he said moving deeper into the kitchen, "She's gotten so big. Did you see her eyes?"

"They're changing. They'll be just like yours," Ness assumed, removing the little jacket she bought Kai from a bag. She held it up for Jacob to view.

"Cute." He said.

"I know, I figured it's so cold out that she'll need a jacket." She started her way towards the living room, to place the jacket in the baby bag. ON her way, she stopped and hugged Jacob. Pading her way into the living room, she couldn't help the dirty thoughts. However, she shook her mind free from perverted thoughts and asked, "You wanna help me finish putting the groceries away? Then we can head out and hopefully they'll let us discharge Kai early."

"Sure, sure," he heeded pulling out a shampoo bottle. He informed Ness who was in the living room still. "Oh, hey. I spoke to Mr. Emerson about the rent. I explained to him, why we haven't been here and, he said since we've had to deal with the heart ache of Kai, to not worry about the rent you owe him."

Ness rushed back into the kitchen uttering, "Seriously?"

Jake nodded. "And I stopped by the wireless place and paid your cell phone bill. I know you're behind on that too, and I didn't want you to get any late bills."

Ness was almost brought to tears. A few minutes ago she thought she would be kicked out of her home, she believed things were falling apart and Jacob comes in and fixes everything. Why does he always make things easier for her?

"Thanks. I'll pay you back," she said grabbing her purse on the counter. Her hand disappeared into the bag and she rummaged through the mess while simultaneously saying, " I have twenty in here somewhere."

As she hunted for the cash, Jacob placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry about it. You haven't been able to work and I can help you out. I did get you into this situation after all."

She smirked to herself but didn't turn back to face him. Suddenly, she wanted to cry, AGAIN. _Damn hormones_! She said internally. How was she ever going to pay him back for all he's done?

Almost instantly, Jacob went back to taking things out of the white dyed plastic bags. He continued until he was on the last bag. One item in a small box disturbed him.

"What are these for?" he asked.

Ness spun around to see Jacob holding a box of condoms. Her heart dropped. She had forgotten she had bought those, and she really did not want him to see what she had been thinking about. With all her stressed emotions, hormones, the talk with Claire and seeing Nahuel, she had sex on the brain.

Ness veered her sight from Jake, embarrassed.

Louder Jake asked jutting the box closer to her, "Renesmee why'd you buy these?"

Her words spilt out quickly. "To use them."

Jake was upset. He knew she had no intention to use those with him. His shoulders lifted and dropped when he asked, "With who?"

" Does it matter?"

He threw the box of condoms at the fridge next to Ness. The sudden action frightened her. He was angry and her body went tense.

He began reprimanding her like a child. "There's more important things than sex Ness, we have Sarai to worry about."

Renesmee looked into his disbelieving umber eyes. The icy look made Ness feel like the worse human being.

"I know, I know. I thought, that maybe, w-" she stopped herself. She couldn't just blurt out that she wanted to have sex with him. It was a stupid idea. She knew it was, yet she found herself saying, " I think for Kai's sake, we shouldn't date other people, I kinda figured if we settled on that, that if, the urge ever presented itself, we could…"

Ness pinched the bridge of her nose, not believing she just suggested they have casual sex.

Surprisingly, Jake wondered, "As in me and you?"

She raised a shoulder and the side of her lip pulled up as if to say, "why not?"

Jacob rubbed his forehead. "I haven't even had time to think about dating let alone sex, and you should focus on school and Sarai."

She faltered. "I should. I will. I am"

"No dating?"

"No dating," she established, "Not until we both agree it's the right time to bring someone into Sarai's life."

Jacob's once hard exterior softened, he joked, "You think you can handle that?"

Crossing her arms, she rolled her eyes. "It's been nearly a year since I've been in a relationship, I think I'll be fine. It's easier without a guy. I don't have to please anyone but myself, and I think we should hold out until we meet someone who, could be our potential soul mates."

"You're right." Jake approved and turned back to collecting the plastic bags.

Ness watched him toss the plastic bags in the trash bin beneath the kitchen sink. The entire time she spent in the grocery store, she had one thing on her mind. Sex. And not just sex, sex with Jacob. She tried shoving the lascivious thoughts down, hiding them but the constantly made a reappearance.

With a vacant stare, Jake looked back at Ness, to find her with a vacant stare."Hmm?"

She smirked and picked up the box of condoms from the floor. "Wanna put those to use?"

Jake grinned and said, "Don't tease me Ness."

Ness spun around sticking her rear out, teasing, "I'm not a tease."

"I think you are," he stepped forward and smacked her butt.

"Hey!" she laughed, then her mouth formed an "o" in shock. He'd never done that before. "I'm not," she said tossing the box on the counter.

"Yes you are. Everything you do turns me on."

The blood rushed to Nessie's cheeks and she shyly lowered her head. "I'm just so happy that Sarah Kai's coming home."

"Me too."

"Tonight! She's coming home TONIGHT!" she giggled jumping up and down and clapping like a four year old who has just been offered candy.

"I know," he agreed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her chest to him firmly. She did it upon instinct, without thought. Her body was telling her she needed a release and her body was commanding her to give him a release. Opening her eyes, Ness viewed his protruding lips. They were slightly parted and Ness thought he deserved to be kissed and pleasured. After everything he's ever done for her, she owed him.

Jacob swathed her waist with his arms and her soft breasts huddled against his firm chest sparked x-rated thoughts. He had a murderous desire to touch her larger bust. He played out a scenario in his mind. He imagined the breathy whimper that would escape Ness's mouth when he would slide his hand under her shirt to kneed and tweak at her nipples. She'd release a yearning sob as he ripped her shirt off to take her breast in his mouth and skim his teeth across her sensitive bosom.

With these thoughts, Jacob unknowingly leaned in closer to Ness. A hand cradled her skull and she thrust her pelvic bone forward, her hips now cemented to his. Her movements only generated more erotic ideas. He day dreamed of his cock gliding between the valley of each breast, him drawing closer to a release with each stroke. If he was braver, and more sure about his relationship with Renesmee he'd do it. He'd act on all these thoughts.

By this point, Ness was provoked in the exact way Jacob was. She could feel the swell of his crotch. He held onto her tightly, still. They leaned their foreheads on each other's. Their baited breathing taunted one another. The thoughts Jacob and Renesmee had were unmistakable. She could feel the warm tip of his nose on her cheek, and his hot breath marked his body's desires on her face. He opened his eyes seeing how close he was to her. Her cheeks red with blush and her chest was rising and falling rapidly. Her heartbeat quickened, she could feel her pulse in her fingertips. She rifled through her brain searching for a way to show him just how badly she wanted him.

They stayed glued to one another, neither making a move. Someone had to make a move.

Ness nuzzled her nose against his in an eskimo kiss, encouraging him. Parting her lips, she brushed them against his but she wouldn't kiss him, she wanted him to make the move.

She brought her hand up to his cheek, feeling his stubble. She whispered, "You need to shave."

It all happened so fast. There was no reply to her comment. Their lips collided, their teeth clicked but neither paid mind to that. Jacob tasted her honey sweet mouth and Ness could sense her nerves jumping erratically.

Catching his breath, Jacob leant down resting his forehead against Nessie's. She fumbled with his jacket as they tripped to the other side of the kitchen. Once the jacket had been removed, she pressed him up against the wall. Eventually, they got the shirt peeled off her back and his hands slithered up the treads of her spine.

Ness wanted to kiss him once more. Stretching her neck up, she reconnected their lips. Jake's erection throbbed. While he ignored the discomfort, Ness decided it was time to relieve him.

Nessie's fingers trembled as she brought her hands to his pants and undid the button.

"Ness-" Jake panted as they kissed.

She growled, "Shut up Jacob."

"Renesmee what are doing?"

Ness pulled her shirt off as she sank to her knees and tugged his jeans to his ankles. "Let me do this."

Even with a raging hard on, and the desire to take advantage of the situation he couldn't. He wanted to talk things over and try to understand why Nessie suddenly wanted to par take in oral sex. "You don't have to do anything."

Her hands crawled up his sides. "You gave me a beautiful daughter, I owe it to you."

Then he understood. She felt obligated. "Ness, no."

She peeked up at him through her lashes and long bangs. Her eyes connected with his crotch quickly then she gazed back up at him. Her bottom lip was pinned between her teeth and her eyes pleading, not lustful. Jacob wondered if he hurt her feelings by denying her.

"Let me please. I owe you, for everything. For the support and I mean you just paid my cell phone bill."

Tempted, Jacob was. Lips were hot-pressed to his lower abdomen. Repetitively, she kissed his stomach, sporadically letting her tongue glide across the skin above his waistband. He watched her run her soft lips across his stomach and felt her fingers slide inside the elastic of his briefs. She was teasing him, and all he could do was let his pants pitch a tent while he ran her hair through his hands. There was some anonymous reason as to why he was allowing her to do this. As her hands clawed at his obliques he pondered her reasons for doing this.

He wanted this from her. The furthest he's ever been with her was making out, and petting through layers of clothes. Well, besides the one time they had sex. That was the first and only time she's touched him, and suddenly she wanted to give him a blow job? And for what? Why?

She felt obligated because he paid her bills, because he gave her support. She said he owed him, but he didn't want her to do this because she felt compelled to give him some sort of reimbursement for his generosity. While cautiously unfastening his top jean button, she felt him draw his fingers from her tresses. Whilst she fiddled with his last jean button, she felt eager to get his pants around his ankles. Then his hands clutched her wrists and he forcefully pulled her up to her feet.

"You don't owe me anything."

"But I do."

Once eye to eye, her lips playfully coiled into a smile and her eyes detained more lust than before. The dominate action thrilled Ness. It surly motivated her to continue. She pressed her thighs together in agitation and leaned into him.

Why was he just staring at her? She wanted him to give her a kiss. Make a move any move! She shouted internally while licking her lips.

At her unrestrained expression, Jacob wanted to cave. He wanted to take her temperature with his stiffy, to ravish her until she quaked in pleasure but, he wouldn't let her think she had to do this as payback for him assisting her with finances.

The grin on her face warped the second she saw Jacob's forlorn appearance. Did he not want her to do this? Suddenly, the grip he had on her wrists seemed more constricting than arousing. She stepped back wounded and lowered her head. Her slim arms overlapped one another. It was the only way she could close him off.

Part of that action tempted Jacob more. Her breasts were pushed together revealing her perfect shaped cleavage. He licked his lips with desire but the look on her face made him regret forcing her to stop. She was completely humiliated. Jake didn't want her to feel ashamed or sore because he stopped her. He knew he had to be honest.

His large hands reached for her hips and pulled her close. She permitted him to kiss her cheek but she wouldn't look at him and she kept her arms crossed.

"Hey?" He said trying to get her full attention. When she didn't answer he ordered, "Look at me."

Vigilantly her brown green eyes shifted to him, through her long bangs. Jacob pushed them back as he articulated the terms he had.

"If you really want to do this, you can, I won't stop you." He tried to lightly the mood by throwing a saying, "I am a guy after all, but don't feel pressured or indebted to me because I take care of you."

She brought her vision up to him and whimpered, "This is the only way I think I know how to thank you."

He could hear the break in her voice. She clearly was on the verge of crying. He felt horrible but he wanted her to do this because she wanted to pleasure him, not because she felt obligated.

He wrapped his hands around her waist then clued her in on how she could thank him. "Saying thank you is enough."

" But," she started unfolding her arms, resting her palms on his shoulders, "I would like to do it for you. I want you to feel good."

That was precisely what the man wanted to hear. He brought his hand up to her head and pressed their lips together. It was so passionate yet gentle. It confused Ness.

"Then make me feel good," he growled in a raspy amatory way while they still kissed.

The young woman pulled away to scrutinize the manifestation on his face. Her eyes darted back and forth between his eyes. She studied the way his lips had settled and contemplated whether he meant it or not. She couldn't tell until she saw his nostrils flare, and his chest rapidly rose then fell. She could feel the air from his nostrils hit her chest. If he was struggling to breath, just about as bad as she was a few minutes ago, it meant he was provoked. He wanted it but she couldn't . She felt paralyzed and timid.

It was so odd to think she had done this a dozen times to other men but with Jacob, it was different. She genuinely wanted him to enjoy himself, she wanted to do it right because she loved him and cared for him with all her heart.

Jake brought his lips to the hollow beneath her right eye. "It's okay Ness."

That comment aggravated her. Instantly her hands swathed his neck and tugged is head down to her level. As they kissed Ness couldn't remember any of her exes, she couldn't think of their names or their faces. What she did remember was they begged and pleaded with her to take their love torpedo in her mouth. But Jacob was different, he didn't plead or coerce her to do so, just as when he took her virginity. He assured she agreed to their sexual endeavors.

They continued to kiss as his shirt came off revealing the firm eight carved abdominal muscles.

"Damn," she growled in astonishment, "Those can't be real."

Jacob chuckled and grabbed her hand bringing it to his abs. "They're real."

Her breath hitched as she salivated over the v-shape between his hip bones, his broad shoulders and built arms.

She kissed his chest, his lips again then, as she sank to her knees for a second time- left a trail of kisses down the front of his body. She helped him step out of the jeans by pulling the denim down. She tossed them to the corner of the kitchen and looked up at him. Her hand caressed his manhood through his maroon boxer briefs, causing Jacob's body to tremor and his length to spasm.

Knowing she could rouse him made Ness smirk. A hand snaked around his body and settled on the firmness of his lower back, the other grabbed his hand. If she remembered right, an ex she had went crazy when she sucked on his finger. So, she thought she would try this with Jacob.

The boy had large hands and Renesmee never paid much attention until the moment she put his burly index finger in her mouth. As she treated his finger like a sucker, Jacob growled, "See? You are a fuckin' tease."

She giggled. She gave his finger back, then put one kiss right beneath his belly button before pulling down his briefs, doing what she wanted to do to him.

What Charlene said all those months ago –which caused Ness to physically assault her- was true. Jacob was huge. His size frightened her. Ness was accustomed to giving head, it had become her specialty. However, the second he entered her mouth she knew she wasn't dealing with just any guy. This was Jacob. She wasn't just trying to hurry up and get this over with. Yes, his length was too much for Ness to handle, but she couldn't retreat, she wouldn't. She advanced forward.

With her lips wrapped around him, she began to satisfy to the best of her ability. Jacob's eyes were fixed on Ness and she would sporadically observe his expression with her bright beryl tan eyes. Every time they made eye contact, he groaned and grit his teeth. She was the death of him. He's fantasized about this for years, and here it was.

As his finish drew nearer and nearer, Jacob seemed to lose control of his body. He softly pressed his fingers through her hair, gripping a chunk of her brunette curls. His hips began moving, doing the work for Renesmee. His head pushed roughly up against her gag reflex. With any other guy, she would never let him handle her that way. The second a boy crossed that line, Ness would stop. Nevertheless, in the advance, she put on a brave face and continued for Jacob.

At the kitchen sink, Nessie was spitting out the proof of Jacob's orgasm. Staring at her rear end -as she bent over the kitchen sink rinsing her mouth out with the faucet water - he slipped his briefs on and stepped closer. He did not want to know, how she knew to satisfy a man with her mouth, but he couldn't just leave it at that. He walked up behind her and his bulky fingers clutched at her ribs. She jumped, startled, his hands glued to her ribcage. Nervously, she went rigid.

Slowly, his fingers glided beneath the of her bra wire and down her stomach. He kissed her neck and lifted the hem of her shirt to massage her lower stomach.

Staring out the window, Ness couldn't ignore her throbbing at her core. She wanted him, her body was clearly letting her know she needed him. She squeezed her thighs tightly for the second time that afternoon. He nibbled at her neck and brought his lips up to her ear. He sucked on her earlobe for some time, until she couldn't take it any longer. She wanted his lips on her and to feel his body between her legs. But he had her pinned to the counter and she couldn't spin around. Lifting her left arm she reached around Jacob's neck and rotated her head, so she could kiss him.

Spit was swapped and tongues caressed as he thrust his hips into her back side. Then suddenly, Jacob unbuttoned her jeans. Her zipper went down as he forced his hands down her pants and beneath the cotton of her boy short underwear. It was least expected, but Ness was so glad she shaved the previous day. The wetness she produced was ever present. Her legs gave out as his middle finger went for the bundle of nerves above her opening.

Terrified, she stopped him with the question. "What are you doing?"

"Can't I return the favor?" he breathed into her ear and kissed the concave below it.

She shrugged him off. "Jake," she hissed.

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized pulling his hand from her trousers. He did not think she'd be upset, by her body language and eagerness to kiss him, he assumed she wanted him to touch her. "I'll stop if you want."

Clenching his wrist, she stopped his hand from completely leaving her pants. The cold air entered her nostrils as she inhaled. She didn't know why she snapped at him because what he was doing, was exactly what she's been fantasizing about for the past three years. No one knew about these thoughts. Since she knew what a man was supposed to do to a women, Ness needed it from Jacob. There had been a point when she figured any guy could satisfy this hunger, but she knew Jacob would satisfy her deprived sexuality.

Without a thought, she requested, no begged, "Don't stop."

Without words he pressed his hand back down, but Nessie's legs were tightly pressed together.

He hissed in her ear, "Make room for me baby."

She widened her stance slightly, moaning in surprised as a finger entered her. Again, she toppled forward and clutched the edge of the counter. Jake helped keep her standing by wrapping an arm around her ribs.

At first she thought his middle finger wouldn't be enough, one finger had never been enough to satisfy her, but by the way Jacob worked her body, it didn't matter. She had never felt so turned on or appeased by a guy. Ever. Sometime, during the rough penetration of Jacob's fingers, her jeans had slid down her shapely legs.

As he kissed the back of her neck, she stepped and kicked out of the pants. Then, killjoy thoughts struck her. She wondered if this would put their friendship in question. After this, what did Jacob expect from her? A relationship? What was in store for these two after they gave into their lust? Was this lust? It had to have been, it was too pleasurable, too sinful to be love. This could ruin everything.

Out of nowhere she freed herself from Jacob. She whined, "Okay stop."

Ness ran off to the living room, in nothing but an underwear and bra. She covering her mouth with her hands, completely terrified. Giving into this one act could ruin everything. He was in love with her for goodness sake. Ness laid across the sofa covering her face. She lifted her legs and planted the soles of her feet on the cushion to fit the couch better.

The cushion at her feet sank. "Hey, are you okay?"

Ness peeked at him between her fingers and hands, not sure how to reply to him.

"What is it?" Jake asked resting his hand on her bare knee. His warm touch sent electric jolts throughout her body. It made her shiver, and trembled uncontrollably. She wanted this. She wanted to be with him but, her thoughts were getting in the way and guilt hit her.

"Uhm? I don't know," she faltered, "How can we do this? How can we do this and enjoy ourselves while Kai's in the hospital?"

Jake's hand glided down the front of her leg as he settled his chin on her knee. "Don't Ness. Don't feel guilty, she's coming home, she's healthy and she'll be home tonight with us."

There was more on her mind, and Jacob could see that. "What else is bothering you?"

" I've just," she stuttered, Jacob could feel her legs quiver, "I've been thinking about this for a long time."

"Thinking of what?" he asked seeing her chest rise and fall. He wanted to rip that bra off desperately.

"Thinking of, I guess," she mumbled not able to look at him, " I've been wondering when you were going to touch me like that."

He lightly kissed her knee. "Anytime you want me to touch you just ask."

Sitting up she replied, "Oh-kay but, uh, maybe we shouldn't ya know? Finish this."

Disappointed, Jake retorted, "Alright?"

"I don't think we should, I mean, we…I'm tired."

"Me too."

"Can we take a little nap before we head out?"

"Sure, sure," he complied forcing her to lay down with him, "We'll leave in about an hour."

Ness faced the back of the couch and Jacob molded himself to her back. His arms wrapped around her and she laid her arms across his. She could feel his breath on her neck, and her own slowed. Though, she remained aroused.

Jacob didn't want to let up. He began pecking and licking her neck. He wanted to pleasure her, just like she did him. It was this uncontrollable hunger to see her tremble from an orgasm. He had only seen her orgasm once and he was going to do it again, despite her protests.

Minutes ticked by, and Jacob subtly unhooked her bra, then whispered in her ear, "I want to taste you."

Those words only caused her to become wet. Nervously, she clamped her eyelids closed anxious for what was to come. Jacob didn't give her a chance to reject him. He flipped her over, gliding his fingers down the soft skin of her thighs. She combed through his hair with her slender fingers anticipated the sensations that were to come. His hand skimmed up her leg and his thumb stroked at her nerves. She moaned. He hooked his fingers at the waistband of her underwear and all but ripped them off her. He forced her thighs apart and Ness only gasped. He was staring at parts of her that no one was supposed to see. Ness forced her legs closed remembering that she had just given birth to a daughter.

As if Jacob cared. He pried her legs apart and touched her. It shocked her, and excited her. The slickness made it easy for his to slid his fingers inside her. He was twisting and curling her fingers, driving Nessie mad with pleasure. Her body quivered and she wanted to cry and yell from the euphoria. She began bucking her hips grinding against his hands and just as she was about to hit her climax he stopped.

It was difficult for Jacob to reach her the right way, he wanted to move her to the floor and take her in his mouth.

He peeked up at her and could see the disappointment in her face. He breathed, "Don't worry baby I'm not done."

He knelt on the floor, and picked her up by thighs moving her towards the edge of the couch. Her legs were resting across his shoulders. He toyed with her breast and when he lightly sucked at her clit then pushed his tongue inside her, she didn't know what to do or say. She just continued to breath, letting the sinful sensations take over. It gratified her exceedingly. SO much so that she began to arch her back and pulled roughly at his hair.

Meanwhile, Rosalie pulled up to the house. She needed to talk to her Ness, she wanted her to truly think about what she was doing with Jacob was wrong. She couldn't toy with his emotions, or be taken advantage of. Rosalie knew exact feeling.

She wrapped the tweet jacket tightly around her waist and stepped up the deck stairs. Her ear caught a noise. She paused, the moans of her niece caught her off guard. Peeking through the slit of the curtains, Rose gasped and quickly looked away. What she saw shocked her. Her niece was lying on the floor between the couch and the coffee table and Jacob's head between her legs. That didn't shock her, she knew he niece got around. What baffled her, was what these new parents were doing, was not just oral sex, it was much to intimate. Ness was propped up on her elbows gazing into Jake's eyes. And he too couldn't look away from her. He was lost in her eyes as he made out with her core.

On the chilly floor, the young parents laid with their lipms intertwined. Nessie's cheek was pressed against his firm chest and he held onto her, high from their acts.

"That was…" she paused, breathing deeply, "fun."

He held her closer, and kissed the crown of her head, "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself."

Taking in a breath, she shyly smiled burying her face in his chest. She mumbled, "Why'd it have to stop?"

"We can do this every time I come to see you. You give me head, then I give you head."

"I might take you up on that offer."

"I hope you do."

"Maybe," she propped herself up to look into his eyes, "maybe we could do it at the same time. You give me head while I give you head?"

Jake grinned like a mad man. He loved that idea. "Whatever you want Nessie."

Resting her head back against chest she said, "I Love you Jacob."

"I love you too."

Tiredly, Ness breathed, "We have to get ready and go get Kai."

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Author's Note: AH! LONG LONG LONG CHAPTER. Which means I expect LONG LONG LONG reviews. Okay a few questions you may have. Has Ness forgiven Edward? No not entirely, the little chat they had means that they are only on speaking terms. How can Jacob love Renesmee, when she has been and continues to be selfish? Well, like I've said before and I'll continue to say, he sees the good in her. He loves her for the good not for the bad.

Thanks to: frezan, AWolfPackOfOne, kana117, sweet and sassy nessie, randa10291, UnstopableAcricVamp, EZeeBaby, nj11, miakingme18, Twilightsy, nessiehugs, mojojojo152, polly2010, Dazzler916, gmb7064, OrangieMonster, Tashay789, JUSTaDAMNbook, panajoia, Dreamcatcher94, A, SilverMidnight46, SLM84, nfanpepsi, Orange Chicken Lover, DelSan13, hartleysgirl. Thanks to all of you for your support in this BLAH story.


	33. Move Mountains, Drain Oceans

**Author's Note: ****It's been a long time, and, as always, I am deeply sorry. I've been trying to shorten up this story, but I just can't. Instead of there being twenty more chapters, they're going be twelve longer chapters. I hope ya'll are fine with that. Now, read on…**

* * *

"_A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope and a dream of possibilities"_

**Chapter 33 -Move Mountains, Drain Oceans-**

(March 8th -7 weeks and 6 days old)

Cold leather against Nessie's legs caused her to quiver. Wearing a skirt in forty-eight degree weather was egg-headed of her, but she had a plan. A bold plan, that required her to go commando in a finger length black pleated kilt.

Silently, she thought this to be too bold, but she could no longer hold back from her body's urges. Unconsciously, she gnawed at her bottom lip. Not knowing how to make her move, or if Jacob would want to partake, Ness gazed out the car window.

She knew she wanted him. She didn't know why, but she wanted , she continued to examine their frienship. Did that afternoon's happenings just ruin their friendship? Picking at her nails, she racked her brains out, assessing these thoughts.

Her mind aimlessly yet, specifically turned to what had happened under an hour ago. The lack of clothes, the whimpers, their exchanged smirks, the care, and dare she think it… the love? The touches from Jacob's fingertips sent waves of adulation throughout her body. It transformed the acid in her stomach to champagne. And as earlier, the bubbling in her gut began again. Memory of his urgency and force, roused her.

Bringing her hands to her chest, she felt her heart hammer violently. How did he do this to her?

This had been the first time she considered that she could be in love with Jacob. However, she wouldn't ponder the answer. She had other plans. Plans that she needed to act on. Otherwise, she wouldn't follow through.

Through his peripheral vision, Jacob knew Ness was fidgety. Since this afternoon she had been behaving strangely. Earlier, after their "nap", she bizarrely went inaudible. The few words she did voice, were about her getting ready, which took a half hour.

Setting the wheel in motion, Ness pulled at her boot. Jacob noticed her struggle. Yanking at her boot, she finally pulled it off and tossed it in the back seat. Then she moved onto the other foot. She peeled off her burgundy pea-coat and flung in over seat. He side glanced, eyeing her hands tugging her skirt higher and her fingers devilishly skimming her thighs. He saw goose pimples rise from the shivers she sent up her own spine. Instinctively, his sight moved up to her nipples. And as he had expected, they were erect.

She stared intently ahead, sensing Jacob's vision on her. It made suck in air.

"Did you want me to turn the heater up?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No."

Hugging herself tightly, she sensed a surge of lust fill her. And merely his voice caused this.

Her fingers began playing with the buttons on her shirt. She inhaled, licked her lips and turned her head to peek at Jacob.

_How could a guy be this gorgeous?_ She thought. It didn't take much time to for her react to his appearance.

Abolishing any remaining apprehension, she breathed, "Pull over."

"Why?" he questioned, "Did we forget something?"

Staring down at the hands she was wringing, she muttered, "Just pull over."

Doing so, Jake stopped at the shoulder of the road and placed the old Volvo in park.

Draping his wrist over the steering wheel and looking at her, wondering, "What is it?"

An inebriating lust fallen over Ness. She climbed across the center console, straddled Jacob and attacked him with recurring kisses fuel by uninhibited passion.

Unsure where to put his hands, Jacob held them up but countered the action. Though, the sudden lecherous exertion had become a normal activity, Ness had never been so persistent.

He drawn his face from hers. "Ness, what are you doing this for?"

" I miss you," she broke her speaking to kiss him again, "and I-I," she stuttered then pressed her lips his. Her hands clawed at his scalp and Jake found his hands magnetized to her hips. His hormones kicked into full swing, and he urgently dipped his tongue into her mouth.

Large, strong hands found their way to her rear end. Once he squeezed, Ness reared her hips.

She growled, "Damn it! I want you so badly."

" Ness," Jake hummed with preoccupied lips. It was a unsuccessful attempt to stop her.

"Jacob," she paused, placing multiple kisses to his neck and jugular. "I need you please," she pleaded.

She helped him out of his leather jacket then fumbled with his pants.

"Renesmee-" This was another pathetic attempt to slow her. It, again, was unsuccessful.

With each passing car, an adrenaline rush over took Renesmee. It thrilled her, and excited him. The pulsation waved throughout her body, and Jacob's touching only aided the satisfaction.

Their lips never disconnected as Ness unbutton her blouse. Flesh was exposed instead of a pair of breasts hidden behind a bra. Jacob's eyes nearly popped out of his head seeing that.

He rubbed the back of her legs, before his tan hands fastened around Ness's hind end, hoisting her up, forcing her to kowtow with each knee on either side of his lap. Her chest was at eye level. The lack of underwear was suggestive. The allure of skin sucked Jacob in.

He rested his forehead against her chest, catching his breath. The tip of nose grazed her sternum, inhaling her indescribable scent. His hands slid from Nessie's ass and clutched her rib cage. He pulled back, eyeing her chest. Jake's heart melted when he noticed the necklace resting between her breasts. He repositioned the necklace, that he had boughten her, in order to brush his lips against her clavicle. Cupping her breast, he remarked the size change. She was a tad more than a handful. Larger than she was before Kai was born.

Nessie's head fell back. She gawked at the car ceiling, focusing on the fact that he was fondling her chest. His thumb strummed her nipple resulting in a soft moan escaping the girl's mouth.

Sensuality rendered Ness courageous and confident. She removed his hand, sliding it up her skirt. "Feel how badly I want you Jake."

He inhaled quickly, shocked at the dampness her body created. "I feel that."

She purred grazing her fingers at the nape of his neck. He toyed with her most southern erogenous zone. The anticipation compelled her to hiss in his ear, "There's a condom in my purse."

When she cupped his face, and forced a smoldering kiss, it struck Jacob that she planned this entire thing. None of her actions were natural, but forced. Sure, her body naturally reacted but, it suddenly didn't seem genuine. He didn't want to force anything with her, just as she didn't want to force love with him.

He withdrew his fingers from her, resulting in her disappointed huff.

Faltering with his words, and reasoning, Jake turned his neck. " I-I-I can't do it."

But she was determined. She kissed his face.

"We can't do this Ness."

She pried her lips from Jake's face and frowned. "What?"

He grabbed at her shirt and covered her exposed chest. He didn't want sex with Ness, he wanted a relationship. "Just, I can't."

Confused, she forced his lips to collide with hers, hoping it would inspire that they continue. "Come on Jacob."

He gave in the slightest, kissing her hard, before pushing at her shoulders. "No."

Unwavering in her efforts, she stuck it out. She tore open her shirt, and moaned in his ear, "Jake."

His head dipped back falling on the head rest. She kissed his Adam's apple in hopes for some sort of feedback.

However, he didn't react. He took a great effort not to touch her, or look at her.

She grabbed his hand and forced it to cup her breast. "Baby. I want you."

"Stop!" he exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air. "Get off me."

This time, Ness covered her own chest and slithered into the back seat. She buttoned up her shirt, thinking. She thought, he'd want to have sex with her. Any other guy would have took the chance she was offering Jacob. He did say he loved her, and she was in need of a release. But maybe he didn't care for her the way she had assumed. There must have been some reason she was repulsing him.

Sliding her feet into her boots, she felt stupid. Instantly, she presumed this had something to do with Leah, or with his exes.

The remainder of the drive was dead quiet. All Jake thought of was how stupid it was to put an end to her lusty mood. He wanted it. The expansion within his jeans was evidence enough. Then again, he cared about her too much to just fuck her in a car. But he was a guy.

They parked in the hospital parking lot and let the awkward silence remain. Alongside one another, they strolled into the hospital and waited for the elevator.

Ness kept her face solemn, searching for the reasons of Jacob's rejection. It wouldn't be the first time he's turned her away. He had denied her at prom as well. She thought, it must have been her. He mustn't be attracted to her. He probably doesn't really love her as he said he did.

"Shit," Ness snarled. Jacob strikes. He again, cut the self-esteem he had already injured.

Jake looked to her, searching for an answer to her outburst. Yet, she wouldn't look at him.

"What?" he examined to catch her attention.

Hesitantly she glanced at him. "Uhm…" she didn't know what to say, then she remembered, "We don't have a car seat."

It was a necessary thing you needed when having a baby. How else could you safely take your child from the hospital to its' home? With furrowed brows, he wondered, "How did we forget that?"

With her daughter being in the hospital, Ness opted out of a baby shower. Now the idea seemed stupid. "I thought I'd get one when I had a baby shower."

Jake stuck his thumb out, and pointed behind him. "I can go get one at that Wal-mart up the street."

Knowing they were both short on cash, Ness asked, "Do, do we have money for that?"

Spinning on his heal, prepared to leave, Jake turned saying, "Don't worry about it."

"Oh wait, wait, wait," Ness said digging through her purse. She found her wallet and pulled out a plastic blue card and handed it to Jacob. "Rebecca sent this to me."

Peering down at the gift card, Jake asked, "How much?"

"Twenty."

The edge of his lip curled. "She sent me one too."

"So we have forty?" she said relieved.

"Yeah," he replied, "I'll be back."

He stepped away, without a goodbye of any sort. He didn't hug, or kiss her. He hadn't even been able to say goodbye.

Troubled, Ness paced through the hallways with Jacob on the brain. She attempted to figure out what had gone wrong this afternoon. She pondered, _If he, willingly, ate me out at home, why couldn't he just fuck me in the car? _Ness could not comprehend what stopped him. If he could take Charlene in a car, why couldn't he do the same to her?

The strap slung over her arm was slipping. She readjusted the baby bag, seeing her aunt waiting outside the NICU entrance.

It was by this time, nearly three in the afternoon and Ness wondered why her aunt was not at work. "Rose? What are you doing here?"

Her long legs lifted her to a stance, and she stepped forward to hug Renesmee. "I thought I'd come say Hi and see how Kai and you were doing."

She forced a smile. "We're pretty good," she informed making her way towards her daughter, "We get to take her home today."

Ness reached down into the isolette and picked up her baby. Like always, that impetuous love engulfed Renesmee as she took her daughter into her arms. Ness lifted her baby closer to her lips, and kissed her forehead. "Hey Kai-Kai. Today's your last day here."

"Can I?" Rose's voice interrupted the mother- daughter moment. Ness peeked at her goddess of an aunt, noticing her arms outstretched. There was no use in denying her, so Renesmee reluctantly placed the bundle into the woman's arms.

Rosalie's bright blues lit up. Ness always knew she wanted a baby of her own, but the look on her love-struck glossy eyes was proof enough.

"Where's Jacob?" Rose asked, not looking away from Sarah Kai.

"He ran up the street to get a car seat."

The roll of her aunt's eyes couldn't be ignored. Ness crossed, "Why don't you like Jacob?"

"I don't have a problem with Jacob."

"Then why are you so rude to him?"

Rose had yet to turn to her niece. "I'm not rude."

"Just the mention of his name agitates you, why?"

"Because I-I couldn't imagine being in his position. It must be awful."

"What position?"

Going rigid, Rosalie's straightened her neck and glared at Ness. "I don't like the way you string Jacob along. And now he has false hope."

The young mother was offended. How could her aunt think she could do such a thing to Jacob? "False hope, for what?"

Going quiet, Rose seemed caught in a storm of bad memories. The shape of her mouth went horizontal and her eyes dead in emotion. There was anguish hidden and unresolved guilt. And curiosity struck Ness.

Rosalie finally made a move. One slow step, after another she came to a padded rocking chair. With Sarah Kai wrapped snuggly in a mint green flannel blanket she sat. Petting the babe's tiny head, she made sure not to look up at Ness. Remorse radiated from her aunt and she hid her watering eyes.

Seeing a person, who was usually resilient and sure of one's self, go soft jumbled Nessie's feelings.

What irritation she did had dissolved.

Now rocking the chair, Rose sniffled and had not responded to her niece.

Minutes past, and when Rosalie found a sense of composure she said, "You take Jacob for granted the way someone once took me for granted. The way I took Emmett for granted. I told him I needed him there for me. So, while I dated, he stayed single. For me. But later on, in college I got a taste of my own medicine. Being someone's consolation sucks. You take advantage of Jacob, you lead him on and now with the baby," she pressed her lips tightly together and shook her head in disapproval, "You're just messing with his head."

"No I'm not," she defended by Rose's implication.

"Renesmee, I have no problem with Jacob, he's a good kid, I have a problem with you."

Like she had just been swung at, Ness took a step back. "With me?" Angry, Ness came closer, hoping there was a sense of intimidation emitting from her. She defended, " If you have such a problem with me than why do you treat Jake so mean?"

"I can't be rude to you, you're like my daughter, I love you, and I pity him. I wish he would just forget about you, leave you," Rose carried forward speaking about something Ness had no clue about, "Emmett shouldn't have spent all those years wallowing in grief that he'd done something wrong. He didn't do anything wrong, it was me."

Rose could see Ness exuding anger in how her nostrils flared, and her chest rose and fell with deep breaths. But that didn't stop her from continuing. "I can see what you're doing to Jacob."

Ness was disturbed. Shaking her head, she stated, "I'm not doing anything to Jake."

The rocking chair, teetered, back and forth. There was a creak in the sound, and Nessie's eyes darted to her daughter's when she heard a sleepy sigh. The baby's arms jerked before she settled back into a deep sleep.

"Not intentionally," Rose said, swaying casually in the rocking chair, "but you're hurting him, and slowly breaking down his pride. You're doing what I did to Emmett. You can't keep doing that to Jacob. You either give in or move on."

Staggering back to a chair nestled along the wall, Renesmee propped herself in a chair. She was unresponsive. Clenching the edge of the chair, she gazed town at her boots. Rotating her ankles, she raised her toes up, placing all the weight on the thick heels. Her high heeled boots were scuffed, and aged. She couldn't remember having new shoes since the beginning of her junior year. This was a passing thought. What she truly wondered was deeper.

Was she hurting Jacob? If she was, it was never intentional. She just can't help the way he makes her feel. Could her affection and presence be damaging him? Because he loved her. Did she always lead him on, the way she did this afternoon?

Or did Rosalie have the wrong perspective?

No matter, Ness had to clarify to both Rosalie and Jacob, about the situation.

" I just-" her aunt started, "I hope he finds a girl that loves him with her whole heart and not half."

Calmly, she affirmed, "I do love Jake."

Rosalie's eyes drooped in woe, appearing as though she had just lost a love of her own. "Not the same way he loves you."

"You don't know what I feel," she replied sharp," or how he feels about me." There was something Rose didn't know about, and that was his rejection this afternoon . You would never deny somebody you were in love with.

She added, " You have things wrong Rose, we love one another, we're family, but we're nothing more than friends, just ask him."

"Are you blind? I see the way that boy looks at you. Everyone sees the way he looks at you. He would move mountains and drain oceans for you."

"That's what friends do for one another."

" You are _a_, naïve and selfish little girl."

"From that little story you just told, you seem just as self-centered."

" At least I can admit my faults. I used to be very selfish, I knew I loved Emmett, and I knew he loved me but, but it takes heart break, an-and wrong decisions and huge mistakes for someone to learn how stupid they're being. And Sarah is one huge mistake."

Ness came to her feet and stomped over to Rose. She held her hands out. "Give me my baby."

Lovingly, Rosalie stood, and handed over the sleeping baby. "Maybe I made a mistake, but God doesn't make mistakes Rose."

"No, he gives blessing to people who need to learn to grow up."

Wanting to damage Rose, Ness said one thing that could harm her aunt the most. "God doesn't want you to have a kid because you're too callous."

Livid with her aunt, Ness turned her back to the woman. "You can leave now."

Beginning to step away , Rose's heels clicked. Then they stopped. The shun of her niece didn't stop Rose from saying, "Eventually I came back to Emmett, but before I compromised, I caused my own suffering. I held off on marrying him and having kids for so long, because I was scared. Now I can't have kids of my own. I don't want you to learn the hard way. I don't want you or Jacob to go through the heartache Emmett and I went through."

Bouncing her waking baby, she walked towards the window. "Just leave Rose."

Jacob was coming off the elevator , with a new car seat when he saw Rosalie. She slowed her pace as she came closer towards him. Looking at Jacob, she said, "If you were smart, you'd leave."

"What are you talking about?" he questioned.

She shook her head acerbically, thinking he was such an idiot. Tossing a hand on her hip, she replied, "You follow her around like a loyal mutt. She doesn't love you don't you get that?"

"W-well, I love her…" he declared weakly. Rosalie at times intimidated Jacob, and this conversation wasn't exactly a light subject.

She released a humorless chuckled and said, " You're in for a whole lotta heartbreak pup."

"She does love me Rosalie," he finished, " I have to make her see that."

"If she doesn't recognize what she feels now, what makes you think she will later on?" She reached out and patted him on the back. "Save yourself the heart ache."

The short conversation with Renesmee's frigid aunt perplexed and saddened Jacob. Was she saying there was no hope for them to be a couple? Ever.

Jake came to the NICU, and found Renesmee sitting in a rocking chair adoring the baby in her arms. He set the car seat on the floor next to the isolette and informed, "Here's the car seat."

In monotone, Ness muttered, "Thanks."

A once cheery Ness was subdued. Whatever excitement she had at bringing her daughter had been swept away and gone with Rosalie. No doubt, that woman caused his best friend's mood change. Before he asked about that, he bent over and kissed Sarah Kai on the forehead.

"What happened?"

"Rosalie's being a…bitch."

"Should I be surprised?"

He waited, but got no reply.

"What'd she do?" he asked.

She didn't look up at Jacob, but she sensed he was keen on getting his daughter in his arms. "She says I need to grow up and that, I take advantage of you in every way."

"Why would she say that to you?"

"Maybe I do?" she whispered. Adjusting the baby in her arms, she came to her feet, and handed the baby off to the eager daddy. It had been too long since he had last seen her. Almost a week to be exact. She said, " I don't mean too though. She says I'm selfish for keeping you around because you're in love with me and I'm leading you on."

"Oh did she?" he asked, before he started cooing at his baby girl. He took a seat in the rocking chair, blissed out on the beauty of his daughter. Yet, his mind was fogged. He had imagined the baby suddenly changing Renesmee's mind about beginning a relationship, but nearly eight weeks later and Ness hadn't said a thing about trying.

"Am I?" Ness asked from behind.

Looking at the side of his head, she searched for a reaction from him. He only remained quiet.

She continued, " I told you how I felt about us. I like our friendship, I like where we are."

Inside he was breaking, and his already cracking heart received another fracture. He knew she had no intention to start a relationship with him, but he suspected that she was in love with him. No, he knew it. Patience was something he would just have to endure until she realized they belonged together. He looked down at his baby girl and replied, " No, Ness. I know your intentions."

"I told her you're my best friend, we love each other and we're fine as we are…Are we?" She repeated, "Are we fine as we are?"

He half-heartedly said, "Sure. Sure."

"She also said she hopes you ditch me, and that Kai was a mistake. A huge mistake."

Jake frowned and looked back at Ness. "I can't believe she said that."

" Even if she is a mistake, she's our mistake." Ness gave a weak smile to Jake, then looked down at Sarah Kai. "I love our mistake."

"I love our mistake too. Let's get her home."

+On the Drive Home+

Ness settled herself in the backseat alongside the car seat that carried her daughter. She hovered over the little one bundled in the puffy jacket Ness had purchased earlier that day, and a warm fleece lay over her.

A swell of inadequacy caused anxious tide to rise within her. She didn't know she was absolutely terrified of bringing Sarah Kai home. All the time she had was spent on school, work and visiting the baby, dreaming of the day she'd bring her home. Now that, that time had come she didn't know about her new life as a mother, or how she and Jacob would function as a family. Jake would be in Seattle, and she in Forks. It wasn't ideal, but that was how it had to be.

The unfamiliar feelings of protectiveness and fear hit her. Ness didn't want Sarah Kai out of her sight. She decided, she never would.

Ness tucked the blanket in tightly around Sarah Kai, hoping the cold would not nip at her. She requested Jake turn the heat up, because if she was cold, her daughter was freezing. Then again, not wearing undergarments may send an unwanted draft.

Regretting her earlier decision and feeling utterly humiliated, Ness choose to dive into that topic, since it was on the fore front of her mind. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, sure what is it?" he replied, looking in the rear view mirror to make eye contact. He only found Renesmee's hazel eyes, gazing down Sarah Kai. It was pure love. A faint smile graced her face, which caused Jake to copy her. But a strange jealousy of the baby came over Jacob. How could she love this baby so much and not love him?

"What is it?" He witnessed Nessie's faint smile fall when he spoke.

"It's about what happened earlier."

He sighed, knowing he had to explain himself. "Okay."

Now he was staring at the road too intently. She looked into the rearview mirror seeing the crease between his caramel eyes. "Why? Why, did you turn down sex?"

He didn't reply. He wasn't sure how to respond.

Wanting a rise out of Jake, Ness irately blurted, "You fucked Charlene in a car."

He wanted to tell her to shut the fuck up, and never mention that whore, but Jake bit his bottom lip. Lashing out on her for such a comment would be only start an argument. He didn't want to argue, he wanted to understand what was going on in her head. He wanted to put the negative in the past and move forward with their future.

"Let me ask you a question," he stated.

Through the mirror their eyes connected. She agreed. "Go ahead."

" Do you see yourself as my girlfriend?"

Turning her sights from him, she recited the question. _Do I see myself as Jake's girlfriend?_

Interrupting the thought, he said, "Remember prom? And I turned you down at first?"

She raised her eyes, wounded, "Yeah."

" I didn't want to take advantage of you."

She went to scoot closer towards Jake in the front seat, but her belt buckle stopped her. She shook her head thinking they had already had this discussion before. She confirmed, "I told you, you didn't take advantage of me. It was me, I took advantage of you."

"Well, I don't think I could just have casual sex with you. "

The tiny crochet hat on Sarah Kai was crooked. Ness adjusted and began profess something she believed about their friendship. "Maybe things, at times, are casual between us, but then again, we're not casual Jake. We've known one another for a long time. We have a baby together," she practically pleaded for him to concur, " Sex between us should be normal."

"You mean we should be having sex for the sake of sex?"

She tilted her head and said, "Well, yeah?" She couldn't believe she admitted that she desired to knock boots with him.

Blankly staring at the winding road, Jake gripped the steering wheel. Shaking his head, he notified, "That's casual sex, Ness. It's making all those plans to fuck but not have a relationship."

She helplessly stared into his eyes. He didn't turn his sight away from the road. It was evident he was angry by the listlessness in his eyes and by the way his clenched jaw. Ness couldn't comprehend why he was angry. Then she recalled what Rose had said. Was this leading him on? How could she lead him on if he knew her intentions? She told him earlier, she liked their friendship for what it was. She didn't need anything more.

Glancing down at her sleeping baby, she droned, "I don't know about you, but I could use a release once in a while." Immediately, she muttered to herself, "_I'm sick of doing it myself_."

Jake peeked at the mother of his child through the rear view mirror, surprised. Did she really just admit to getting herself off? Turning back to the street, he said in his head, "_Me too_."

Together, Jacob and Renesmee walked through the thresh hold of the tiny home. The conversation that they began discussing was never finished, and would remain up in the air for some time.

At around five thirty, after Kai had been fed and Ness put undergarments on, the couple ordered a pizza. While waiting, they watched television from opposite ends of the couch. The baby was in the corner of the living room, fast asleep in a rocker. The deafening silence between the parents, was driving Renesmee insane. When the pizza had arrived, they ate at the coffee table. The only discussion they had was about food, and the romantic comedy they were mocking. It was like old times, but you could feel the tension. It was thick enough to poke with a stick. After cleaning up, Ness curled up on the couch with a blanket but Jake grabbed his helmet, his cell and wallet. She watched him wrap his leather jacket over his broad shoulders and tuck his wallet away in his back pocket.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

The haste in his response shocked Ness."To my dad's. I'm gonna get some sleep."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I figured I should see him and I'll be back in the morning. Call me if you need anything." He opened the front door but gazed at her closely. He had something more to say, but nothing came out of his mouth.

"Yeah," she nodded watching him walk out the door. It was the second time he left her without a hug, or so much as a goodbye.

She got up, and watched him speed away on his motorbike.

It killed Jacob to walk out of the house. Everything inside him shouted at him to return to his family. There was an invisible force, tugging at his pant legs and his limps. But he pressed forward, each step closer towards his bike was harder than the last. However, he had to leave, there were things he must think of, things he needed to sort out. And there were things he was afraid he'd never have: A real family, and the love of his life, to be his forever.

But, he had optimism. With the baby came hope. A big hope. It wasn't a faint flicker like candle light, it was giant as a bon fire. He could smell the smoky air of possibilities. Marriage, a home, future children and a life together were all potentials he enjoyed dreaming about.

Although, Ness was stubborn. A relationship wasn't what she desired, but she needed the friendship to remain. Though everything, he knew she was selfish, thickheaded and immature. He could live with her being thickheaded and her selfishness was fading. He just had to wait out the immaturity.

When a person is immature they're prideful. And Ness sure was fulsome at times. She slowly began to learn she could depend on others but he wanted to see what kind of dependency she had on him, as a father. So he threw this situation at her like a curve ball.

On the drive to his father's he prayed she'd call. He wanted her to want him, and needed her to need him. And truthfully not just to help out with Sarah Kai. It would be nice to know that Ness wanted Jacob not only for his presence or his financial aid, but for emotional sustenance. When he was young and depressed, she did that for him.

Jacob walked into his childhood home, his thoughts in disorder. He knew he hadn't supported Ness one hundred and ten percent in the first few weeks of Kai's life. He was scared, and worried about Kai, about Ness and about fatherhood. The only way he could think of coping was stepping away.

The moment he walked into the living room, he was reprimanded by his father. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you," he said sitting next to Billy on the couch.

Billy glanced down at his wrist watch. It was hardly seven o'clock.

"You have a daughter waiting at home for you, why are you here? I'm sure Renesmee could use your help."

What was Jacob to say? His thoughts matched Billy's words.

Billy turned back to the television. "I didn't raise you like this son."

Jake snapped." You don't think I want to be with Ness and Kai?"

"If you do, why are you here?"

"I'm testing her."

"Testing her?"

" She needs to learn to ask for help."

"Jacob it is not your job to teach her anything."

There were a million reasons he pulled this stupid stunt, but he couldn't remember any of them. Mainly, he wanted to hear her ask for him. "I just want her to need me."

"So you will deny your daughter your presence in order to teach Renesmee a lesson? It seems cruel."

"It does," he agreed, "but, hopefully she'll call me."

+Back at Nessie's+

Sarah Kai had begun to cry.

Bella observed her daughter's prompt reaction. Ness took the child in her arms. She thought out loud, "Oh you probably need your diaper changed."

Following her daughter to the nursery, Bella saw her panic. She decided not to impose and allow her to figure this out on her own.

Bella saw that she and Edward made life a bit too easy for Renesmee. She always knew she hovered and could be overbearing but she loved her daughter more than her own life. It was why their mother-daughter relationship had been strained. You can't keep a bird in a gilded cage forever. Even if it is safer than the outside world. The day Ness left the Cullen home, was the day Bella let go. She didn't want to, but when she made it her plan to step back from Nessie's life. Helplessly watching your child flounder was not as easy as it seemed, but it was time for Ness to figured things out on her own.

Ness laid her daughter across the changing table and collected a diaper and the wipes. From the entrance of the room, Bella said, "Nervous?"

Renesmee nodded.

"Don't be. You handled her well in the NICU and it's no different here."

Ness didn't necessarily believe her mother. She had only been to the NICU a handful of times.

Ness hated herself when Kai cried louder. "Don't cry Kai-Kai. I'll get you changed quick," she promised.

When she had finished changing the diaper, Sarah Kai was still crying. Ness rocked her in her arms and paced the room. She spoke aloud, proud of what she accomplished. "This is the first time I've changed her diaper at home, alone. With no Jake, or no nurse."

Bella smiled at her daughter's fulfillment in something so minor. She was happy Ness had called her to come visit.

"Where's Jacob?" Bella wondered.

Ness flinched while beholding the squinting baby. Even as she cried, you could see Jacob's resemblance. The dark hair, lips and eyes of Sarah Kai were near identical to her father's. Ness informed, "He went to his dad's."

"Why?"

Casually, while gazing down at her calming daughter, she answered, "To get some sleep."

"Are you kidding?" the older woman spat, "Call him and tell him to get the hell over here."

"I'm not going to force him to do anything mom." Ness made her way to the living room, leaving her mother in the nursery. As if escaping that room, meant she could escape this conversation.

Marching in the living room, Bella could feel the anger boiling inside her. If she was livid with Jacob, why wasn't her daughter?

"He needs to get his ass over here and help you," she said.

Ness sat on the comfy red couch. "He's done enough for me."

With her pointer finger, Ness stoked the area from between the eyebrows of her daughter down to the tip of her nose. She repeated this over and over. It soothed the once whiny baby. She added, "For us."

The expression on Nessie's face was earnest. And Bella could see the pensive thoughts her daughter had. "What did you do?" she accused.

Ness scowled at her mother. "What do you mean _what did I do_?"

"You must have done something, Jacob would never leave you to fen for yourself."

Sadly, she declared, "Well he did."

"You must have done something for him to not want to be here."

"Don't just fuckin' assume. I didn't do anything. He just," she stopped speaking, trying to find the reason Jacob left. Maybe her coming onto him had something to do with it, but she wasn't about to tell her mother what happened earlier. Ness continued, " He wanted to leave."

"Him being this careless, is out of character."

"Mom, he works constantly –at the garage and the part deliveries- he has school and practice. I don't blame him for wanting to go get some rest. I'll probably head over there early tomorrow. Billy's only seen her once."

"What about you? You work, you have school and you've been dealing with Kai at the hospital."

Ness shrugged.

Bella sat next to her daughter, letting her maternal overbearingness take charge. She tucked stray hair behind Nessie's ear. "Renesmee, I think you should move home."

Giving her mother a blank look, Ness shook her head.

"Admit it, it'll be easier on you, financially and emotionally, if me and your dad are there to help."

"I don't," the new mother didn't want to admit this to her mother, but she said, " I don't think I want dad around Kai. I don't trust him."

"Why have you lost faith in him?"

"He believed all those stupid rumors. You gave me the benefit of the doubt, daddy didn't. Instead of talking with me, like he should have, he had Jake spy on me. And knowing that he wanted me to…" Ness stopped. The baby sleeping in her arms would not exist if her father had his way. Ness sighed, "Mom, I can't imagine my life without her."

"You don't have to."

Lost in a transfixed stare, Ness insisted, "I never intend to."

+Hours Later+

Morning light flooded an impeccably decorated bedroom. Jacob and Renesmee lay lazily in their oversized bed facing one another. The sun's rays curled around Nessie's back. The happy warmth spread throughout Jake's body. She offered a tired smile just as she reached out to rake her fingers through his hair. Jake mirrored her action. Their hands fell from one another's scalps only to have metal chink as they laced their digits together. The rings circling their fingers made it evident they were married. He grinned back at his wife and reflexively kissed her lips. Reaching out, he enveloped her reedy body in his burly arms, pulling her closer. Like always, Ness deepened the kiss and soon enough they were lost in one another.

There was no sound, and this daydream showed itself in slow motion, until there was a loud thump on their bedroom door. The couple turned to the sound. Three children charged in, shouting, "Wake up daddy! Wake up mommy!"

A girl, Sarah Kai, lead her little brother and sister to the bed. The children climbed on top the mattress, jumping and continuing to holler for their parents to wake up. Ness took the little girl in her arms and kissed her cheeks and Jacob grabbed ahold of Sarah Kai and the boy. The giggling erupted, then faded with the ring of his phone.

Anxiously, Jake fumbled with his cell. "H-hello?"

"Jacob," Ness said, the baby's shrills could be heard in the background, "Can you come over?"

Already on his feet, and with keys in his hand, Jacob flipped the t.v. off. "Yeah, are you alright, is the baby fine?"

He could hear a sniffle and a whimper from Renesmee."The baby's fine."

"What about you?" He examined stepping out through the threshold and shutting the front door behind him.

"I'm so tired," she cried, Jacob could practically hear the tears roll down her cheeks, " I don't even know why? I haven't done anything all day, and I haven't slept a minute, she won't stop crying."

Jake chuckled a nervous laugh. He was so relieved, and completely ecstatic, that she called for him. "I'll be right over."

Waiting for Jacob to show up, Ness paced the wood floors, bouncing the bawling baby , in hopes she would settle down. Teary eyed, Ness softly pleaded with her infant daughter. "Sarah Kai? Come on Sarah Kai. Why are you crying?"

The petrified mother kept this up, until Jacob walked through the front door at some time after one o'clock in the morning. Ness turned to him and became a blubbering mess. Warm tears escaped her eyes.

After throwing his jacket off Jake stepped forward, dabbing her tears away with his thumbs. "What's the matter?"

"She won't stop," she sobbed over the shrill cries, " I used to get her to calm down at the hospital, I did it earlier, b-but now she won't stop. I don't know what to do."

"Have you fed her?"

"That totally blew my mind, why didn't I think of that?…"

Jacob's mouth dropped in disbelief. The sincerity in her voice worried him. Did she really not think of feeding their daughter? Could she be this, stupid?

A sharp glare was directed at him when Ness said, "Of course I thought of that."

He sighed in relief.

"She doesn't want to eat, and I just changed her."

Jake brought his hand to Sarah Kai's cheek, to feel her temperature. "Maybe she's cold?"

Shaking her head, Ness pivoted on her heals heading towards the couch. "No, if anything she's too hot. She's swaddled."

"Then she's probably just tired," he said trailing Ness.

The slender legs of the young mother buckled beneath her. She collapsed on the love seat, with the baby securely in her hold, exhaling an exaggerated sigh. "That makes two of us."

"Here, I'll take her, you go to bed."

Ness glanced up at Jacob pressing herself further into the back of the couch. "No."

Jake cocked his head, slightly offended. Renesmee just cowered away from him when he offered to take care of Sarah Kai. Gazing down at the still screaming infant, she requested, "I just need help. Tell me what to do."

"Okay. Stand up."

Ness did as she was told.

"Hand me our daughter."

His arms were extended, prepared to take his daughter. But Ness pulled back. She didn't want to let Sarah Kai go. She was like a new toy and Ness didn't want to share.

"I'm helping by letting you get some rest before I go back to Seattle."

The assistance was alluring, especially when Ness's eyelids seemed to have five pound weights forcing them closed. Ness gazed at the wrinkled and red face of her distraught daughter. Even though Ness wanted to claim Sarah Kai as hers, she couldn't. She was Jacob's too. She had to share.

Just when the tears had went away, Rensemee could feel them return. She passed Sarah Kai over to Jake. Sniveling and wiping the water threatening to leave her eyes.

Jacob's face brightened when he took Sarah Kai. He could have easily held her with one arm, but used both cradling her as if she were jewels and gold. But the squealing babe, was more precious than any treasure that had ever existed.

After a quick kiss to his daughter, Jacob positioned Kai in one arm and extended his other out to Ness. He seized the back of her head and kissed her temple. Blood rushed to Nessie's face, her cheeks heated up and heartbeat quickened. He draped his arm around her shoulder. She received the half hug happily by hooking her arms around him. He embraced her firmer with his free arm.

It felt like a lifetime since he touched her. In reality it had only been a few hours.

Knees knocked together and her legs wobbled, as if she were about to recite a speech in front of a million people. She took the fabric of his shirt in her clutches and rested her face into his chest, expecting the lightheadedness to go away. Nessie stared at Sarah Kai, who was in Jacob's powerfully built arms crying still. She hated the sound, but the pair of hands moving down towards her willowy hip bone was louder.

In that moment she felt whole. Any time she had Jacob and Sarah Kai

Jake appreciated her call. It showed him that she wanted him around. He kissed her head and removed his hold on her. "Go get some sleep."

Ness nodded taking a step back. "When she falls asleep can you come put her in the basinet by my bed?"

His head lolled up then down.

"Thanks," she said.. They locked eyes, identical weary leers emerged on their faces, and suddenly, all her fears pain and worry melted away. A compulsion possessed her. She stepped forward and tilted her head up, stood on her toes and kissed Jacob. After a tender peck, she instantly craved another kiss. After she pressed her lips to his she smirked. "Love you Jake."

"I love you."

Ness bent down and kissed the whimpering baby's forehead. "I love you too Sa-rai."

"Sarai?"

"I meant to call her Sarah Kai, but my words got jumbled."

"Suh-rye?" Jake repeated aloud, " I kinda like it."

Ness agreed. "Me too."

"Go get some sleep," Jacob ordered kissing Ness one more time, " I'll put her to bed."

"Thanks."

"Thanks for calling," he responded gazing down and rocking the baby in his arms. Ness almost hated that his complete attention was quickly redirected towards their daughter.

Shaking the envy from her mind, the girl stretched and yawned. "I don't know why you left in the first place."

He countered with a shake of the head, "Me either."

Wearily, she retreated to her bedroom and slunk on to her bed. She rested on her belly, contemplating whether or not she had enough energy to change into pajamas. She snatched a down pillow to place beneath her skull and made herself comfortable, but she heard Jacob talking. Curious as to what he was saying and why he was speaking, Ness tip toed down the hall. Her toes grazed the cedar, and the tips of her fingers glided across the walls as she followed Jakes strong gentle voice.

Coming to the nursery, she stopped and listened. He was reading from a book, and Ness recognized a familiar story. It was a tale from one of the many books Jacob began purchasing. Not wanting to miss the moment, Ness snuck by the room glancing in. The brief sight delighted Rensemee more than she could say. She retrieved a disposable camera from her purse and trotted back to the baby's room. Instantly she captured the moment. Jacob with a book in hand, held a now subdued Kai. He gently glided in the rocking chair her Aunt Alice had happily purchased.

After the snap of the click, Jake looked up and smirked. Ness couldn't resist, she had to seize this moment with another picture. She spun the gear, it clicked until the camera allowed her to take another pic.

"One day we'll have to get you a digital camera," he said.

"One day," she approved, then made her way back to the bedroom.

Near comatose, Ness, again, lied down on her bed. She was near sleep, but still conscious, listening to Jacob. His voice soon faded.

"Damn, we made one good looking kid," Jake declared walking into the bedroom. He found Ness sprawled, sidelong and upside down, on the bed. It was such a position that anyone would assume she was dead. Her head and an arm lay limply over the edge of the bed, appearing both uncomfortable and relaxed.

Ness opened her eyelids looking at him with upside down vision. She lazily said, "She looks just like you."

He stepped closer into the room until he stood over her. His sight never parted from her upside down eyes. Ness caught herself peering down at his crotch. With their current positions, she could only image what kind of pleasure could ensure, if he pulled down his pants and she opened her mouth. He could certainly have his way with her, if he chose to do so.

"Oh geez!" She slammed her eyes closed ashamed. In a sick erotic fantasy, she wanted him to dominate her. This was something she never imagined she would desire or fantasize about. The rush of a sudden sexual craving shocked her.

"She's got your pouty lips," Jake said, discounting her outburst, " and your scowl. Her hair will probably lighten up to your color."

Once she saw past the brightness of Jacob – and his crotch- she noticed her daughter was missing. "Where is she?"

"I put her in her room."

Ness sat up looking at him, now with normal vertical vision, She glanced over to the bassinet in the corner of her room. "No, I want her in here with me."

"Well," Jake began taking a gentle hold of her shoulders, "I want you to get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow…"

Grumbling to herself, Ness didn't want family and friends to come to her home and visit with Sarah Kai. Although, she understood the excitement over a new baby, all she wanted to do was sleep and have alone time with her baby and Jacob.

Jacob sat down at her side, laying her down like he was about to tuck her into bed. It was very paternal of him and rather cute in Ness's opinion.

He continued, "…and while I'm here you don't have to do anything. Once I leave you're gonna have to handle things by yourself. Unless you move to Seattle with me or, back home with your mom."

She shook her head , sitting up. "No, Jacob I can't leave my work," she finalized that decision and came to her feet, " I'm gonna check on her."

"Ness-" he attempted to prevent her from leaving the room, but she was too quick.

Renesmee ambled her way back into the room with a cocked head. "How the hell did you do that?"

By now, Jacob was lying on the bed. "Do what?"

"I've been trying to get her to sleep for over an hour, and you've been here a whole ten minutes and she's already asleep."

"It's me Ness, she misses her dad."

Jacob felt the mattress sink on his right side. He rotated his head, finding Ness sitting cross legged and facing him. He too, gazed at her crotch region , but her loss fitted skirt draped over her thighs, hiding what Jacob hope to see. He wondered if she was still underwear-less.

"You've only been away from her a few hours, how can she miss you already?"

Mindlessly, he reached out meaning to touch her side. Instead, his long reach pushed up her loss skirt. Truly, it was an accident, but he caught a glimpse of the skin of her thigh, and found out she had put on a pair of patterned underwear. She reflexively pushed the pleaded chiffon down.

Jake sat up, his feet firmly planted on the floor. As he thought about the cut of the underwear, and how her ass looked in them, he asked, "You miss me seeing me every day don't you?"

Laying her forehead on his shoulder, she stated, "I'm so attached to you, it's really sick. Unhealthy even. But yeah, I miss you a lot."

He smirked to himself and slung an arm around her shoulder. "I know, I miss you too."

"I wanna know why she was crying."

Jake moved his head, looking down at Ness. "Sarai's just getting used to being here. She's been in incubators and brightly lit rooms too long."

She lifted her head, and looked at him. "I just don't get it?"

To any other, the reasons for a child's crying would appear unperceivable, but to a mother , a distraught child is their focal concern. She couldn't get the image of her crying baby out of her mind. She removed Jacob's arm from around her, and stood from the bed. "I'm gonna go check on her."

"Renesmee!" Jacob called out to her and gripped her waist, preventing her from getting very far.

She wiggled, and lent forward with all her weight hoping she could get out of his firm grasp. "Jake let go!"

" Ness you might get upset with me, but I have to say this…"

Trying to pry Jacob's fingers open, Ness yanked at wrists. "Let go of me!"

"No," he replied, tossing her to the bed.

Ness's brain rattled around when she hit the mattress. A pair of strong hands weighed down on her hips. She bucked, and wiggled trying to escape his grip.

" Listen. Stop being so, paranoid."

Vexed, Nessie glared at the man who just chastised her for worrying about her daughter. Without caution, she snapped, "Maybe you should start, a good father would worry."

Jacob's hands flew off Nessie's hips like he had touched a hot stove. Through gritted teeth he hissed, "You better not be implying that I'm a bad father."

Part of her said that because she was annoyed he had left her earlier, and the other, because he prevented her from checking in on their daughter. But she did not mean what she said. Ness sat up clutching her chest. It almost hurt as if he degraded her. "Oh my gosh. No Jake, I'm saying that, I mean she's all alone and…" She scurried to his side, and extended her arm to grab his. She pulled back, fearing a negative reaction from Jacob. She bowed her head, her eyes cast down. "I'm sorry, I don't want you to think I think you're bad dad. I don't. It's just…I'm sorry."

Hunching over, Jake too went to grab her hand, but he couldn't believe she just cowered away. He wasn't angry, he knew what she had said was a slip of words. "She's fine," he muttered, " You can't freak every time she sneezes, cries, or disappears from your sight."

Ness collapsed by his side, deflating into the mattress. She gazed up at the roof. "But, she's my baby."

Placing his arms behind him, Jake leaned back, glancing at Ness. "She's my baby too. I know it's hard to have her in another room, especially after we've had to leave her at the hospital for so long, but we keep can't her at arm's length all the time."

Renesmee eyes were downcast, her attention was absent but she heard Jacob. She couldn't be so attached to her daughter.

Jacob resumed speech, laying at her side and propping his head up with his hand. " Sometimes, babies cry. You can't hold her for two hours trying to figure out why she's crying."

"I know, I know," she acceded, and rolled on her side to face him. His strong jaw carried his face perfectly, and his prominent brow canopied his chocolaty eyes. When she looked closely, she saw how soft his face was, but she knew how taut it could become. He wasn't just hot, he was beautiful.

Was she lonely? Or was it lust? She really needed to think, but she stuttered, "I-I just, it's only the first night though. Let me go check on her."

Jacob brushed his fingers through her hair. "Baby, she's already eight weeks old. The baby monitors on, and she's only a few feet away."

She didn't retort anything concerning Kai. His fingertips caressed her scalp, his thumb glided across her plump bottom lip causing her to shiver. And he did it again. Her pulse, went in waves throughout her body. She struggled to catch her breathe. "Are you going to stay over?" she wondered.

Rising from the queen sized bed, Ness sat up along with him. He said, "If you want."

"Yeah, you can stay here…I mean," she paused to shrug, it was almost mischievous, "I might need help with Kai."

"Can I have a pillow?"

Ness observed him. His toes were turned in, almost timid. He held his palm out waiting for a pillow.

"Stay in here," she suggested.

"Uhm…" he hesitated. He was not sure this was the best idea. She made it clear they were friends, and only friends. That was her intentions with him. Imagining, and longing for them to be together, hurt. Being friends with someone you were in love with was torture. But he couldn't resist her.

"Jake you can stay in here."

"I think I'll take the couch."

She came to her knees, her legs folded beneath her. "You don't fit on the couch…just stay in here…Please, just stay in here with me," she begged. Whether or not he wanted sex, she didn't care. She merely craved for him to hold her until she fell asleep.

He mutely agreed, by reclining on the bed.

Out of nowhere Ness told Jacob some news her mother had given her that evening. "My mom said Rosalie and Emmett are going to Russia tomorrow. "

"What for?"

"They're adopting some kids."

"Good, maybe kids will soften her up and not make her be such a bitch."

"She said you're a good kid," she informed cheerfully.

"I don't care what she thinks."

Ness sat up. Afraid she would run from the room and check in on Kai, Jacob instantly grabbed her waist. He wanted her to stop being over protective and paranoid.

"Hey!"

She informed, "I'm just changing."

She did think about checking in on Kai, but in some twisted way Jacob was right. She had to let go the tiniest bit, and not be so attached. It would only cause a codependency Ness and Kai would have with one another.

Ness unbuttoned her shirt thinking she didn't want Sarah Kai to have attachment issues. If she, for some reason, had to drop Kai off somewhere, she didn't want a scene. Being one of those mother's that dropped of a screaming kid, didn't sound appealing. She wanted a well-tempered child, that understood if mommy left, she would always come back, no matter what.

Jacob interrupted her contemplations. "You're thin Ness."

She opened a dresser draw, looking for a pair of p.j.'s and said, "Not eating and breast feeding for a month does wonders."

The sarcasm was yet another thing Jacob loved about her and the body she had was a bonus. Even after a child, she was attractive but, in his opinion, rather thin.

At the moment, he was mentally kicking himself in the ass for passing up sex. But he knew they weren't ready for that step. That didn't mean they couldn't enjoy one another. Jacob continued contradicting himself. He didn't want to indulge Ness, for she only wanted sex. He wanted her for life.

"Compared to a few weeks ago, you've gained weight."

With an oversized shirt in her hand, she turned to face Jake and rolled her eyes. "Gee thanks."

She was now standing in front of him, in that mid-thigh length skirt and a bra that was never meant to be seen by a soul besides Ness. Jacob didn't care about the casual style, he wanted to see it lying on the floor.

Nessie's room was about as tiny as a coffin. He reached out and grasped her waist. "No, that's a good thing." he stated, running his fingers along her faint stretch marks. Each mark meant that they had comsummated and exressed their love for one another. Because of their love there was a child in this world.

He kissed her stomach once then glanced up at her. Seeing her jaw hang low was the reaction he used his tongue in the next kisses, leaving a hot trail from above her naval down to her hip bone.

She stumbled through her words, as he continued kissing her abdomen. "S-since, she's gotten better, I've, I've been able to eat."

His rough hands caressed the back of her knees, the slide up the backs of her legs. "You shouldn't feel guilty for eating."

"I-I keep having this dream, that we," she stopped and grasped his shoulders when he grabbed at her hind end. He discovered she was wearing a normal pair of bikini underwear. His fingers hooked the waist and slid them down her legs. "We," Ness began again, as he helped her step out of the underwear, "We have to take Sarai back to the hospital. I never know why. We just have to take her because it's life or death."

His hot hands to crawl up her the arch of her back. He glanced up at her, and she peered down.

"She's fine. Okay?"

Ness gave a devious smile, when he unclapsed her bra. "Okay."

An erect pair of nipples greeted Jake, when the gray bra fell from her chest. Ness clutched her breasts to hide from him. He removed her hands, and skimmed his lips across her breasts.

Any fight or hesitation she had in her, or Jacob had in him, had vanished. Each gave in. Clothes unraveled, with the exception of Nessie's skirt, skin caressed, thighs trembled and breathing became heavy.

If it was possible, Jacob had gotten more muscular, leaner and she, she was soft, with no tone. Instantly she felt inadequate to his godly figure.

Renemee's bed was a wavy sea of blankets. A complete mess from all the rolling around they were doing. Inching nearer and nearer to oral sex, Ness wanted to stop. Today Rosalie had told her she was leading Jacob on. He made it clear he didn't want sex for the sake of sex. So what did this mean? All she knew was, it felt right, but was it right? She had the potential to mess everything up and lose a best friend. She didn't want to lose him.

Flesh against flesh, lips to lips, this young couple held one another closely. Unknowingly, Ness began thrusting her hips and panted. Her whimpers drove Jacob insane. Ness flung her leg over Jacob's lap and straddled him.

He discontiued their kissing, huffing, "No Ness the otherway."

Ness's hand were firm against his chest, and she began rub herself against his erection. They were so close to having sex. "What do you mean?"

"Spin around, let me see your ass."

Obeying, Ness flipped around and straddled his chest. She gasped, when Jacob lassoed her thighs with his hands, and moved her heat over his face.

"You give me head, I give you head."

She didn't have much of a say so. He began pleasuring her using his fingers and lapping at her womanhood. In return, she bent forward and began satisfying his needs.

They both reached their climaxes.

Lying down in an elated state, Jacob held her by the waist. Warm steady breaths, caressed the back of her neck. Soon, they breathed in a type of unison. Although, Jacob's lungs held more oxygen, and released longer exhales. Perhaps, it wasn't their breathing that was in harmony, but their heartbeats.

Rolling over, Ness faced Jacob and kissed him. "I love you Jacob."

He pulled her in closer and kissed her jugular. "I love you too Nessie."

"Good night."

"Night," he whispered.

Dozing of, she still questioned how she felt about him, and how Jacob felt about her. But she didn't let it bother her to much that night. She didn't want a thing to break the blissfulness.

* * *

**A/N #2: **Alright, alright! I'm back and I have a lot to say, but don't feel like writing it all down.I'm sorry for not having my reasonings completely rounded, but many of you know by now that I tend to get frustrated and give up. So, if you guys have anything you don't understand about this story, just ask in the review or let me know in a pm. I will do my best to explain myself. Alrighty, reviewers get previews! Much Love, midge preesh, happy reading and merry holidays.

OH! Is there anything I can approve with my writing? As in, well...anything. Do you guys have secrets or a structure set up to writing scenes? Any advice will do. PLEASE! Okay bye.

**Thanks to:** Shreya1986, vnsjvhgs, lilyella, JBxTLLover22, cinnamonmyra1997, LinXiaoAi17, Funny Bunni987, MelaTheClumsyBookWorm, wolflover14, twilightlover123456, DayAnnKnight, madd4purple, msr709, dkgors, Karmatrek, swimprincess47, polly2010, jacobsmywolfman, , MiaMelibne, Roxy1986, fyxen, Kingdom89, nfanpepsi, kaciemarie, denica, DelSan13, JUSTaDAMNbook, SLM84, Kingdom89, neonchick08, cocopucks, polly2010, EZeeBaby, Tashay789, gmb7064, mojojojo152, AWolfPAckOfOne, panajoia, TwilightSy, Dreamcatcher94, sweet and sassy nessie, SilverMidnight49, nessiehugs, izzie551 and all my anons. You don't even know how thankful I am to have you guys support this story. If you're interesting in my writing go and check my fictionpress. Same name. Also if you have a tumblr, come see me at .com. MUCH LOVE!

**reply to my Anon's:**

(MACY)~ I am not the least bit angry with your comment about my delay in updating. No offense taken. It takes a great deal to offend me. If anything, you inspire me to continue, because at times I feel my writing is mediocre –which it is- and I just want to quite all together. Anyways, I greatly apologize for getting your hopes up. When I write my author's notes, I always have the intention to update within the time I promise. Be that as it may, life does hinder things. It is Christmas time after all. Please send me a pm or review so I know you've read this apology.

(Anon) I totally understand that I should explore Rosalie's character more. I even had written an entire back story as to why she's behaving this way with Ness and why she can't properly express her feelings. I finished and decided to cut that out because, that in itself was an entirely differnt story. Also, the reason she asked if Ness was with him, was because sometime ago (When she went to the doctors with her aunts and mother, Alice asked if Ness, if she was dating Jacob. ANd Ness made it clear she wasn't dating him) Rosalie heard and that was part of the reason she got irritated and left.


	34. Break Away

I guess no one liked the last chapter. I had less reviews than normal. If I've lost your interest –for some reason- please tell me. And if I've lost readers…oh well. They're about to miss major drama and moment when Ness realizes she's in love. FYI- It'll be in chapter 35.

* * *

_"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world." _

**Chapter 34 –Break Away -**

The alarm clock on Renesmee's cell phone, sounded. With her hair in a tangled mess, Ness woke from a restless sleep. Rolling over, she pressed the snooze on her alarm and rested in bed. With all the thoughts in her mind, she swore her brain was ballooning and about to pop. There were numerous tasks that had to be marked of her daily chore list. Waking up was the first one, but she didn't want to. She didn't have the energy to do so. Again, she hit the snooze button. As she catalogued the day's activities, she noticed it was hard catch her breath. The sensation of not being able to breath was hurting her chest, and making her eyes sting with tears. Feeling claustrophobic, she frantically kicked the covers off the bed.

When she heard Sarah Kai begin to shriek from the next room, Ness began hyperventilating and the thudding in her chest quickened. Tears streamed down her face as she searched for air. The thumping of pulsating blood in her ears was deafening. Yet, Kai could still be heard crying. Not knowing what to do, Ness plugged her ears and took steady breaths.

Even with her fingers in her ears, the stupid alarm could be heard. Sitting up, Ness took the phone from her nightstand and chucked it as hard as she could. It flew through her open door and the heavy thump of it hitting wood floors resonated from the hallway. It rang, nonstop. The sound as loud as a siren. Falling back onto the bed, she felt her chest tighten and she hysterically cried. In hopes to drown out Sarai's crying and the alarm, she buried her head beneath an overstuffed pillow, which only made it more difficult to breathe.

She swore she was about to die.

Eventually, the alarm halted. Ness could hear her baby's cat like shrill cry. The sound broke her heart, but it also reminded her of the horrific nightmares that had crawled into her once happy dreams. Wounding her daughter in real life though, was not possible. Ness would kill herself before she laid a hand on Kai. She reminded herself, _I love my baby._

For the last time, Ness heard the alarm echoed from the short hallway. Inhaling, as deeply as she could, she hoped for the release she was looking for. It wasn't found. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she sat up and strolled down the hallway as if she had just come out of a coma.

Picking up her cell from the floor, she turned off the alarm and walked into the nursery.

Ness leaned over the crib, seeing Sarah Kai look completely miserable. "Morning," she muttered. It made no sense to say, 'good morning.' So far, it was beginning to be a shitty day.

After lifting the baby from the crib, Ness kissed her forehead and cradled her in her arms until she reduced her loud cries to a whimpering. "Okay baybees, let's get you changed."

As she began to change Kai, Ness wished Jacob was here to help her. Unexpectedly, her eyes watered.

Months had already passed by, and unbelievably Sarah Kai was nearing five months old. At times, Ness was overwhelmed and became anxious when she was left alone with her daughter. She obsessively called Jacob. If he wasn't available she dialed her mother or Rachel. Chatting with someone, while taking care of Kai, helped ease the nervous tension Ness was bombarded with. Truly, being alone with the baby was difficult. She felt as a single mother. She seemingly was. However, when Jacob came home, he handled everything. He would cook, he would clean and he'd be the sole care taker for Sarai. Ness became uncomfortable allowing him to take on this role, but she couldn't pull herself from this black pit she was in.

Jacob visited Sarai and Ness as often as his schedule would allow. It was never enough though. If she had too, Ness would pack up Sarai and drive out to Seattle to spend the weekend with Jake. It wasn't necessarily easy to cart the baby around, but it was worth it. For a short while. Gradually the visitation with the working man dwindled to nothing. On top of not being able to afford weekly stay overs, the young mother ended up spending most her time in a crappy hotel room missing Jake, rather than spending time with him. But, she understood that as parents they had sacrifices to make. Jacob had to give up Sarai, and Ness had to give up Jacob. Time what their sacrifice.

Guilt loomed over Ness. Having a child out of wedlock, and right out of high school was nothing to be proud of. She was raised on that, but she could not help but be pleased with her choice to sleep with Jacob Black. He had given her a gift she loved more than anything, but she still felt like a mother to a stranger baby.

Sarah Kai moaned louder, making Ness extremely upset.

Nothing she did appeared to be right. And with her insecurities with motherhood, she began to lose confidence in everything she does.

Whenever she changed her, or fed her, she cried. When Ness touched her or out her down, she wailed louder. At times Renesmee had the urge to call Bella and ask her to just take Sarah Kai away because she was incapable of caring for her. Damn if that proves her father right about being an incompetent mother. Ness was at her wits end.

For the past few weeks, abrupt weepiness and shortness of breath was becoming an ordinary occurrence.

The continuous hammering in her chest had yet to stop since she had awoken. The baby still cried and wiggled about as Ness changed her. Frustrated, she grit her teeth. It wasn't in her to shout , for she had yet to catch a complete breath. "Uh, shut up," she growled. When she finished Ness placed the baby back in her crib to toss the diaper in the garbage can outside. Upon reentering the bedroom, Ness froze by crib, disappointed. Sarah Kai continued to cry her shrill baby cry.

Running her hands through her hair, Ness exasperatedly shouted as loud as she could, "Just shut up! Can't you just shut the hell up!"

Hastily, her own hand slapped over her mouth, followed by the other. Her hands trembled and her stomach was twisted in knots. So much shame and remorse filled Ness's heart, that her body physically reacted. She felt nauseated and she couldn't control her legs giving out. In deep sorrow, Ness collapsed to the floor and bawled her eyes out. She whimpered to herself, "I yelled at my baby."

Not knowing how to handle this, she massaged her temples. Her mind yelled and degraded her ability to be a good mother.

Cautiously, she picked herself up from the floor and peeked over to the crib seeing Sarah Kai was more distressed than before. With tear stained cheeks, and tears continuing to fall from her eyes, Ness took her daughter in her arms and stuttered, " I-I shouldn't ha-v-ve yelled at you baybees. I'm so, so s-sorry."

Trying to calm herself, Ness attempted to think of something that could sooth her. She closed her eyes and bounced the crying baby, imagining the one thing that could make her smile. _Jacob_, she thought. Anything and everything including Jacob filled her head. The first time saw him, she remembered how her heart sped up. It was nothing like she was feeling at the moment. They were two completely different poundings of the heart.

The first day of school wasn't as nerve racking as she thought it would be. With Jacob by her side, she was relaxed and happy. When they went star gazing, on motor cycle rides or hikes, she never thought she could have so much fun with one person. The special feeling she got from catching Jacob staring at her, or when he smiled was unearthly. No one person should feel so complete and content in this life. In an extremely weird way, she could simply look at him and have the most satisfying conversation. On top all of that, he took care of her, by helping with the rent and Kai. And he never expected anything back. At least, he didn't give the impression that he wanted some sort of remuneration.

_He only takes care of me cuz of Sarai_, she assumed.

By now, Ness had settled but her daughter continued to fuss. Stepping over to a small dresser, the tired mother picked up a small photo album, and took it with her to the rocking chair.

Nessie noticed when her tension and crying had ceased, so did Kai's. Wanting to stay calm, Ness flipped through the folder in search for a picture of Jake.

Removing the photograph, Ness sat her daughter upright on her lap and held out the picture in front of her.

Taking a page from Jacob's book, Ness began to speak to Kai. She spoke as calmly as she could. "Sarai, that's your daddy…He's handsome huh?"

Of course, the baby didn't reply but Ness spoke to her as if she understood. "Say morning daddy….Morning dada…"

Baby Kai's stubby arms extended and touched the picture with her fingers.

"You miss him don't you?" Ness kissed the crown of her head saying, "I miss him too."

Ness whispered. "I do love you, I love you so much and I'm sorry." She kissed her. "I'll try to be more patient."

Now, a silent Kai grasped the fabric of Nessie's shirt in her miniature hand. She rested her overheated head against her mother's delicate clavicle. Perhaps the baby girl's gesture was a way of saying_, I trust you mama_. At least, that's how Ness perceived it. The gloominess that hovered over Renesmee, seemingly evaporated. She felt an unbelievable amount of love in her arms.

Rocking to and fro, Ness slowly found her breath as she held her daughter and petted her dark brown hair.

"I am trying baby, but I'm not as wonderful as your daddy."

Ness took Sarah Kai into the kitchen, and set her in her high chair.

Before she began feeding her, she kissed her chubby cheeks again and again, which resulted in adorable dimples and baby giggles. "I love you Sarah Kai."

A few days ago, Jacob had suggested Ness try to introduce Kai to whole foods since she was suddenly interested in everything her parents ate. So she made a bowl of oat meal –without milk- and toast, and shared it with her daughter. Though, the want for food no longer existed within the young mother. She ate when she felt lightheaded or when Jacob was around, but she didn't feel hungry anymore. All she wanted to do was sleep.

On the hour drive to Peninsula college, Ness cried as she was losing the ongoing battle for breath. Each time she went to school, this seemed to occur. The ride was too long, so long that she was left to her own condescending and pessimistic thoughts. Half the time she wasn't sure why she was crying. She assumed it was because she hated leaving her baby behind, but she was thankful that she got away from the kid.

There were times, she wanted to quit school and work all together and move back in with her parents. It would surely make her life easier, but she had to prove that she was capable to achieve something. With achievement, she felt she could prove maturity. And though she knew she was an awful mother, she would make it her life's mission to be the best mother, as she promised Jacob.

Arriving early to class, she took a corner seat closest to the door. Because Nahuel strolled in late, he was unable to sit in his regular seat which was always next to Ness.

An hour later, she packed up her belongings and walked through the corridors towards the parking lot. She pushed through the double doors, and stepped in the open air. The sky was clear of clouds, and the sun was warming the spring air up.

Ness had the short-lived thought of taking Sarai for a walk after she came home from work. Granting, she was already tired, she'd probably be beat by five fifteen. The activity was up in the air, but there was a slim chance she'd even find any vigor to follow through. If Jake was home, she was positive she'd make double the effort but Sarah Kai was just a baby and wouldn't know the difference. Plus, Ness hadn't made any plans or promises. Therefore she didn't have to feel guilty.

With Jacob sneaking into her thoughts, she recalled it was nearing three weeks since she had seen him last. The heart ache she felt when he first moved didn't compare to how much she missed him, at the moment. Actually, that was such a lie. She didn't just have moments, she missed him day in, and day out. She longed for his presence in the morning, and in the middle of the night. Every hour, every minute and practically every second of the day, she starves for his company. Her body literally yearns and aches because he's gone. He is nourishment, the reason her heart beats in and the reason she breaths_. _

Allowing the edges of her lips to weakly curl up, she had, what she thought was, a humorous thought, _I guess that's why I've been having a hard time breathing lately. It's probably why my chest hurts too. _

She noticed her steps slowing as she began daydreaming of _him_. But she didn't have time, she had to hurry to work.

Drawing nearer to her car, she found herself wanting to cry. Lately, she's found herself, coming to tears more often and she was sick of it. The black pit she fell in, seemed to become more difficult to climb out of as weeks went by. She didn't know why she felt a lack of motivation in everything.

"Hey Renesmee!"

Ness stopped in her place and gazed over her shoulder. Part of her was trying to avoid him, but she couldn't find it in her to be unkind, even after what he had done to her.

Spinning on her heal, she plastered a smile on her face. "Hey!"

"How'd you do on that test?"

"Ninety four," she answered.

He congratulated her by playfully slapping her aching bicep. "Not bad girl, I got an eighty three."

She grumbled silently to herself, when he touched her. There was a hint of resentment towards him that never left her, also, her arm was sore from holding Kai the previous night. Sincerely, she was antagonized by both.

She spun on her heals starting for her car again, sort of jaded. Of course, he eagerly followed her and paced at her side as she headed towards the Onyx Volvo.

Subtly, rubbing her arm, she replied, "Maybe if you studied, you would have got a better grade." She seriously wanted to punch him in the arm. Let's see how he likes having a dead arm. She even fantasized about snooping to the elementary level of giving him a good ol' fashioned Indian burn or even taking the heavy book she held to his skull.

Bright eyed and cheerful, Nahuel's eyes glistened with a desire Renesmee couldn't recall he gave her when they dated. The attention he gave her and the way he looked at her, made it apparent that he liked her. Still. She felt he liked her even more so, than a year ago. Ness sensed the sincerity of the interest he had in her. Or perhaps, she was reading him wrong? One thing she couldn't ignore is how, he went over and beyond at stealing her attention, he called her nearly to the point of excessive and somehow, by the grace of God, he had become polite and respectful.

That, above all, baffled her.

When they made it to her car, he responded, "You know me too well."

Crossing his arms arrogantly, he leaned against her car. Ness nearly flipped. Not because he might scratch her car, but it just was rude. Ness shook her head. In some ways, he was still the egotistical prick she dated.

Jabbing her car keys into the keyhole, she declared, "You haven't changed much since high school."

"Is that a compliment or an insult?"

She rolled her eyes, tossing her books and purse on the passenger seat, questioning, "What do you think?"

"A compliment."

Unintentionally, she raised her eyebrows and mimicked Jacob, "Sure, sure."

"Hey," he began, folding his arms tauter, "did, did you wanna grab lunch?"

"I can't. I have to get back to Forks, I have work at noon."

"Well maybe next week?"

"I have to work next week too," she declared. She was glad she actually had an excuse to turn him down.

Nahuel was insistent. "How about, Friday night?"

Scrutinizing his face, she recognized how he couldn't look her directly in the eyes and his entire body was now tensely bound and pressed against her car. He was nervous. She chuckled to herself. _That cocky bastard's nervous._

He finally found enough courage to look up at her and say, "Would that work for you?"

When their eyes met, he saw that she looked right through him. She firmly held her keys in one hand, and turned her unreadable face to the asphalt bellow her feet.

Part of her was overjoyed that, even though she had a child, a guy had interest in her. It was nice, and it was the ego boost she had needed. But as for the date, she was reserved. Over the course of the last few months, she had softened up to him and had forgiven him. Though, she couldn't forget how they ended their relationship. It all came to an end when she realized she wasn't prepared for sex, and he was pissed about it. She knew she didn't want him to be her first. Nahuel holding that title was wrong. In her young mind it made absolutely no sense to give something as precious as her virginity to him.

It wasn't as if their teenage love lacked lust. What lacked was passion.

He didn't show her much respect with his behavior, so why would he respect her during sex? And his feeling and view towards her was like that of a trophy. She looked good at his side, and he loved showing her off. So when it came time to lay down and offer him herself, it scared her. She couldn't imagine him being kind and caring while they "made love." If she had to choose, she wanted someone that respected her. The only person she knew that came remotely close to a gentleman was her best friend.

Unlike Nahuel, Jacob wouldn't treat sex as a get in, get out kind of job. He wouldn't brag to his friends that he nailed Renesmee Cullen. He'd keep it quiet, and hopefully he'd make her first time a fortunate experience.

And that he did.

Surprisingly, Jacob coxed himself into thinking he had done something wrong, that he had stolen a prized possession of Nessie's. She had to remind him that she had forced it upon him. She had placed it in his reluctant hands and asked her to take it. Out of respect for her, he did.

He held her in such high regards- that when he assumed she wanted no one to know he was father- he didn't tell his closest friends that he had knocked up Ness. It's odd to think that that hurt her feelings. Thinking about it, 'til this day made her sore. She still wondered if he was ashamed of her? If he wasn't, he would soon be if she chose to reveal her nightmares and indolent behavior towards their child.

Questioning the kind of reaction Jacob would have, she hesitated. She was decisive that she could date without his approval. Then again she knew Jacob, and she knew what they had promised one another. Ness answered, "Listen Nahuel, I really am flattered but right now, I don't think dating is the best idea."

She was standing behind the car door, preparing to slide in. Before she got the chance, he pushed himself off her car and took a step closer blocking her from the driver's seat.

"Who says it's a date? It's just two friends having dinner."

Ness didn't reply.

"Seriously. Let's just hang out," he pleaded.

She couldn't ignore his eager pleas. She nodded. "Let me ask Jake."

"What's he have to do with anything?"

"Because anything that involves Sarah Kai, implicates Jacob's involvement."

"How is going to dinner involve Sarah Kai?"

"Because she'll most likely be coming along with us."

He grasped the reality of her situation with a nod. "Oh," he mumbled, "Then yeah, ask Jacob."

She offered a closed mouth smile and tried to head out. "Alright, I'm gonna go."

He stepped out of her way but guided her into her car. It was chivalrous of him, which wasn't Nahuel. "Bye Renesmee."

She replied, "See ya."

He smiled coyly and shut her car door for her.

Exhausted, and five minutes late, Ness rushed through the front door of Forks Physical Therapy. Tall evergreens and pine trees towered over the old brick office building. It was nestled beside a small gully, and had about six parking spaces for both the employees and patients- all of whom were mainly geriatrics and the occasional orthopedic patient. An old Christmas bell door hanger chimed when she opened the door. Suzanne, the office manager and physical therapy assistant, lifted her head from the computer screen. The glasses on the tip of her hook nose and pulled back shadowy hair gave the thirty nine year old the appearance of stern behavior. She raised an eyebrow, glaring at Ness.

Ness all but crawled in on her belly, she felt bad for being late. Suzanne had to pick up her son from kindergarden by twelve forty.

"Sorry," Ness's voice scratched.

The plump women stood from her rolling chair, and collected her belongings. "It's fine. My son's with his father today. He thought he'd take a day from work, and take Mikey up to Olympia National Park."

Ness smirked at the woman's unnecessary retort, but she never thought a sentence could be so lovely to say.

She tried it for herself. "Yeah, my daughter's with her father too."

The dark haired women looked at Ness through her long eyelashes with a questioning gaze. A halfhearted smile appeared on her pink lips and her brown eyes were uncertain.

Because Suzanne knew little about Renesmee's personal life, she didn't feel too guilty for lying about Sarah Kai's where-abouts. She wasn't with her father but safe and sound with Jacob's sister, Rachel. The longing within her hit her in the chest. Ness and Suzanne exchanged goodbye's before she began working. Flipping through the appointment book, Ness pick uped where Suzanne left off. The woman didn't get very far, she had only called the first three patients for the following day.

Literally biting her tongue, Ness inhaled. _I'll just finish what she started_. The lady was nice and all –sometimes- but she did half assed work. Renesmee was always finishing the paper work, making appointments, confirming appointments, calling insurance companies and cleaning the office.

Picking up the corded telephone, she dialed the patient's number that was to come in at ten to confirm. She highlighted who she called and pulled their files to have the prepared for the next day.

After a few more calls, Peter Bankwell, the physical therapist stepped from his office. Ness finished the conversation, highlighted the name and looked to Peter who said,"Renesmee when you're finished, may I speak with you in my office?"

She nodded. Hurriedly, she made one more confirmation call before stepping into his office.

He was sitting behind his desk, looking over a patient file. Ness slunk into the chair like a child in the principle's office. She didn't know what she did wrong, but she must have done something. If Ness had her hunches right, Suzanne had ratted her out for being tardy. Instantly, she decided to groveled.

Closing the door behind her, she said, "I'm sorry for being late, again."

He threw a hand up, halting any presumptions she had. Not looking up from the notes, he said, "It's alright Renesmee, you were coming from Port Angeles, I figured you'd be late occasionally."

Stepping into the office she hovered behind a pair of chairs. She didn't make herself comfortable since she assumed he had a quick comment.

In a monotone voice, he said, "Go ahead and sit."

Complying, Ness glided into the high backed chair. Waiting, as he wrote notes in a patient file, she noticed the clock ticking became blaringly loud. Ness couldn't help but study the man in front of her. He was a thin man, with a scruffy face and bright green eyes. He was devilishly hansom and recently divorced. That hearsay spread among Forks and suddenly they had a spike in single mothers as new patients. His chiseled features made all the female patients woo, which was entertaining in Nessie's opinion. But Peter Bankwell was nothing but professional, turning away any women who did not need real medical help.

A minute ticked by and Ness had nothing to do but to observe the room she was in. It was much too contemporary for the outdated town of Forks. The entire office was designed beautifully by her aunt Alice. Some years ago Jasper and Peter met in their college days, and with Jasper came Alice. They've been friend for a near twenty years and because of her uncles friendship with the man, Ness got a job she was grateful for.

Peter closed the manila folder and pushed his steel-rimmed glasses up on the top of his graying brown hair.

"How's motherhood treating you?" he questioned. Ness didn't answer when he quickly added, "You look tired."

Not wanting to sugar coat it, Ness admitted, "I am tired, but I'm…" She paused. Her head had many complaints and worries. As she was about to spill everything -her racing pulse, nightmares and growing resentment towards everything and everyone- she lied, "I'm fine."

"If you need any more time off let me know."

It was tempting but she declined since she needed a pay check. "Thank you, but I'm fine."

"Okay. Now, the reason I called you into my office is, to inform you that I'm toying with the idea of selling my practice and buying another in Seattle. The likely hood of you being able to keep your job here is next to none, especially with your lack of qualifications."

Her heart dropped. "So I won't have a job?"

"No."

Renesmee turned her head away from the man that was taking her job away from her. He was taking her - She had no idea what to do. She brought her hands to cover her eyes, when she felt the burning of tears. _What the hell am I to do?_

"Although," he continued, "this isn't defendant. If I do purchase the practice, I would like you to have the same duties as you do now. Would you consider relocating to Seattle?"

A little hope shone through the clouds. She twisted her had back to Peter.

"Seattle?" she muttered to herself. Lifting her vision to man's unreadable green eyes, "I'd have to think about it."

The knowledge of Jacob being closer definitely lured Ness in, but she'd be further from her family. Although, she didn't see much of them, they were her daycare.

"I understand, you're a new mother and you have things to get in order."

"Exactly."

"Well, let me know because I've been looking around and I found a great practices with a huge clientele, many high profile teams from Seattle are contracted with this practice. I would like you to get the office running and organized before I start taking patients. Also, are you interested in becoming a physical therapy assistant?"

"Yeah," she hesitated, "I mean yes."

"You have to continue you're schooling. Once the time comes we'll find you a program to enroll in, and I think we could do an internship for you."

She was skeptical as to why he was offering something so generous. "Are you only doing this because I'm Jasper's niece?"

"I gave you a job because you're Jasper's niece, but I've kept you because you're a hard worker. You're very intelligent, and you're already more helpful than Suzanne. She's also unable to move so, you will take on her responsibilities as office manager."

"I'll think about it."

With much to think about, Ness left work at five in the evening. She stopped by the grocery store picking up some baby wipes, food for Kai and bottled water. Then she picked up Sarah Kai from Rachel's and headed home. When she pulled into the drive way, she took notice to her rundown home Sure, it was a duplex, and a modular home at that but it was a roof over her and Kai's head. If it wasn't for Jacob, she wouldn't be able to live there.

Sighing, she climbed out of the car. She collected her purse and shut the car door. Opening the back door she picked removed only the baby and left the carseat in the car. With Kai in her arms, she used her hip to shut the door, when a car pulled up behind her.

Embry climbed out of an old Nissan truck.

He jogged towards Ness but only paid attention to the baby. "There's my niece!"

"Hello to you too," Ness replied as Embry took Kai from her arms.

He leaned in hugging her with one arm. "Hey Ness. She's getting so big!"

"I know I have to go clothes shopping for her soon."

She popped the trunk and grabbed the groceries and started for the front door. "Why are you doing in town?"

Embry slammed the trunk for her and followed closely behind with the baby. "Oh, the team has the weekend off and I took off work to come see my mom."

Truthfully, Ness was embarrassed about how messy her home was. SO she didn't invite him in. But her friend didn't mind hanging out outside in the cool weather and catching up. "How is she?"

He told her that his mother was lonely since he left for college. Her job as an Executive Secretary on the Quileute Tribal Council didn't satisfy the women's nurturing nature. Embry also spilled the secret that his mother, Helen, has had a crush on Billy Black for years.

Ness then replied, "Yeah, Billy's lonely too."

They then discussed trying to set up Billy and Helen up on a date. Ness honestly, thought it was the best idea. He needed someone who would look after him since his children were grown and living their own lives. And Helen was stern, but gentle. She would make sure he stayed healthy instead of Rachel –and occasionally Ness- checking up on him.

The conversation continued to evolve until Ness summoned up the courage to ask about Jacob. She had to, he was on her mind. As always. Embry attended school with him and although, she spoke to Jacob daily, he would never tell her if he was tired or stressed out. She wondered if he was as exhausted as she was.

"So? How's Jacob?"

"He's been working too much, but practices are beginning to pick up. He's gonna have to either slow down or quit."

"How's his grades?"

"I know they've slipped but if he just take a day off to focus on school he'll be fine."

Embry visited for a good half hour on the deck, before he had to head out and have dinner with his mother.

Ness then entered her home. The air was colder than it was outside, and stale from old sink water. Sighing, Ness entered her home and laid Kai in her crib. She figured the baby could use a nap and Ness could do some chores. She wandered into the kitchen, drained the old sink water and began rinsing off the dishes. Sometime between then, she gave up and collapsed on her bed. She attempted to nap, but her mind was restless. The morning's happenings replayed in her memories.

Renesmee wondered what happened to all the enthusiasm she had with her own life. The drive and determination she once had was fading and she didn't know how to fix it. Along with this she hated herself for being a horrible mother. That was always at the forefront of her mind.

Curling up into the fetal position, she waited to doze off but there were too many things she had to think about. She constantly had thoughts about Sarai dying because she was such a neglectful mother. Losing her job was the first thing and moving to Seattle was the second.

Soon, she fell asleep. She woke to a dim room, and to Sarah Kai crying. It was evidently, dusk. She had no desire to get up. Pressing her face into the pillow, she fought the urge to cry herself.

A flash of light shone through the house to her room. Ness heard the throttle of a motorcycle over her baby's cries and a idle smirk grew upon her face. After nearly three weeks Jacob came home.

Stepping into the dark home, Jacob called, "Hello?"

He flipped the light on to find a home in disarray. Books and schoolwork were spread across the coffee table, Sarai's toys were lying across the floor, a laundry basked full of unfolded clothes was in the corner and random things were everywhere. "Ness?"

He peeked in the kitchen to find a pile of unwashed dishes and clutter.

" Nessie?"

Any enthusiasm and vigor in the tired young women didn't exist. She didn't respond. Moments later, Sarai's crying halted.

The mattress sank at her side and Jake reached out and tucked any stray hair behind her air.

"Hey?"

She rolled over to face him. Groggily she said, "Hey."

Jacob was concerned. "Is something the matter? You haven't been yourself lately."

"I'm," she began, but didn't reveal any of her true emotions, " I'm just tired."

He leaned down pecked her on the lips. And she didn't hesitate to retort the kiss. "Alright, get some sleep then. I love you."

Ness woke at a little past eight. She lazily came from her bed and wandered into the living room, which was now cleaned.

Jacob sat on the couch watching television with Sarai in his lap. Ness wanted to smile, but there was no reason to.

When he heard the floor creak, and looked over to Ness. They exchanged lazy smirks before Ness went into the kitchen. It drained her to force that smile for him.

While she slept, Jacob did the dishes, scrubbed the counters and mopped the floors. He picked up the living room, the bathroom and fed Kai. He didn't understand how Ness had become such a slob. She was usually so tidy and even obsessively clean. Especially since Kai was born.

Ness strolled back into the living room with two water bottles in her hands. She set the spare water bottle on the cleared coffee table. She sunk onto the very edge of the couch, as far as she could away from Jake.

"Thanks for cleaning up," she muttered, gazing blankly ahead.

He replied, "No problem."

She slouched onto the couch and wondered about his drive from Seattle. An hour on a motorcycle must have been uncomfortable. "Sore?"

"Yeah…I changed her and fed her."

"Wanna cookie?"

Jacob looked down at his baby girl and smiled. She reminded him so much of Ness. He still couldn't believe they had a child together. "It just feels good when I get to do dad stuff. When I'm in Seattle, you guys are always on my mind. There, I'm living another life. Then I come home and it's how everything should be."

Ness scooted closer to the two most important people in her life and questioned out of genuine curiosity, "You really think about us?"

The couch molded Jacob's body as he leaned back. Sarah Kai's tiny feet balanced on Jacob's knees. He held hands as she wobbled. "I think about you, all the time. Then, I think about Sarai. Then you again."

"I should feel embarrassed at how much I think about you."

"I should be ashamed at what I imagine us doing."

Ness knew her cheeks turned pink. She thought about those things too, but in the last few weeks she had no desire to be touched or to touch him. Why? She wasn't sure. Their intimacy was unbelievably satisfying but she didn't crave him like she did. She had no hungry for anything anymore.

Not wanting to discuss their sexual relationship, Ness changed the topic. "You have homework?"

"Some, but I'll do it on Monday."

"Maybe you should do it now."

"I just wanna rest."

"Are you're grades fine?"

"They're alright."

"You should do some homework, while you have free time."

He shook his head. "It's okay."

Ness reached out for Sarah Kai. "Here let me take her and you get some work done."

Jacob raised his voice and turned to Ness. "No! Damn Ness since when do you care about my schooling?" _Moreover, since when do you want to take Kai from me?_

Nessie's curled her legs under her feet, turning her sights away from Jacob. Schooling had always been important for Ness. She spoke near inaudibility, "Since always."

"Don't worry about it. 'Kay?"

"I don't want you to lose your scholarship," she stated honestly. Pulling a leg up, she settled her chin on her knee and wrapped her arms around her shin.

"Ness-"

The early conversation Ness had with Embry came to mind. She said, "And I want you to stop working so much. Your grades are suffering because of work."

"Why are you suddenly so worried?"

"I've always cared about your schooling. You deserve so much Jake."

"So do you."

There was no reply from Ness. She sipped her water then reached out to take Sarai's hand. Kai grasped her hand and tried to place her mother's fingers in her mouth.

"How do you know about my grades?" Jacob asked.

"Embry stopped by on his way to his moms."

"What did he tell you?"

" He told me you work nonstop. And he implied, something along the lines of, you're stretching yourself too thin."

Becoming defensive, Jake spat, "I'm fine."

"If work is the reason you don't come home, then quit."

"I can't quit Ness. You and Kai need me."

Ness frowned and sulked until she said, "I hate how I need your support. I hate how I can't always afford things."

The expression across her face was complete frustration. Jacob couldn't believe she was angry with him for working. While it made sense that he needed to see Kai, he felt the need to financially support her more. "Why?"

" I don't know, it makes me feel bad. Like I'm incapable of taking care of myself and her."

" I don't want you to feel bad. I want to take care of you, both of you."

"But, your work is pulling you away from us. It's been over two weeks."

Jacob didn't know what to say. It was true. He hadn't seen his girls in nearly three weeks.

Ness continued, "Remember when you first left to Corvallis, and I didn't see you for three months?"

He nodded. He physically disappeared from Renesmee's life. It was never intentional, with the exception of those few weeks while Sarai was in the NICU. Then he had been selfish, scared and upset with Nessie's behavior. He hated arguing with her, and seeing her so depressed. He didn't know how else to handle it beside step away. This time, he could see there was something wrong. She was more depressed then when Sarah Kai was sick, this time he couldn't run away from her and hope she got better.

She gave him an authoritarian reply as she shook her head. "Don't do that to me again. Don't do that Sarai."

"I promised I would visit more often."

"And you have been but, nearly three weeks? Jake three weeks is too long to be away from me."

"Okay. I'll try to give my weekends to the other manager. That way, if there's no football I can come home."

"And, do your schoolwork?"

"Yes, but I drove my bike here. All my books are in my dorm room."

For the very first time, Ness questioned something internally, than looked at Jake. "Are you in a co-ed dorm?"

"Yeah, why?"

She shrugged and removed her gaze from him.

Gnawing at her top lip, Ness didn't know what to say. She didn't really have to say a thing, Jacob could see the green envy she had for those girls in his dorm.

"Don't worry," he reassured her, " I already have a girl."

Nessie's eyes went wide and her mouth fell open in shock.

But she calmed down when Jake said, "She calls you mommy."

Resting her head again Jake's shoulder, she whispered,"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being great...with everything. You always manage to make it out here as often as you can. Even with Work and school. I know it's not easy for you to be away."

"Maybe you should move to Seattle with me."

He could feel her tense up. She removed her head from his shoulder and stared down at her finger nails. "Jacob, I can't. My grandma and mom watch Kai when I work. And Rach helps sometimes."

"They have child care at U-Dub."

Ness gave a penetrating and doubtful glare.

He said, "She's my daughter and I can take her there. I can be with her when I have free time, or your aunt Rosalie lives out there right?"

"Rosalie, really? You must be desperate for me to live out there if you want Rosalie watching our child."

Jake directed his sight to Kai. "I miss her."

"She misses you too, but Rose has her own kids now, she's not gonna want to watch Sarai. I have a job here…although, I may have to find another job soon."  
"Why?"

"Bankwell is thinking of selling his practice here and buying one in Seattle. I guess he has the possibility of having a contract with some high profile sport teams. I haven't asked much about it, but he offered me the office manager position, and an internship"

"That's great. It's perfect, you can move to Seattle and you'll have a job."

" Yeah, it's a God send but, our families watch Sarah Kai."

"I have free daycare at school. I've already looked into it."

" I, I don't have startup money Jake. I need a security deposit and I'd have to rent a moving truck."

"I can help. Ness I have a housing allowance. So I can tell the athletic director that being in the dorms is affecting my studies and then I lo-"

She shook her head stubbornly. "No."

"I have a monthly housing allowance. It'd be cheaper to do that rather than, the two fifty I give you for this place. You wouldn't have to pay any rent, you'll only have to help me with the utilities."

"I have to finish out this semester before I even consider it. And Bankwell isn't moving up there until I believe September."

"So, maybe this summer?"

"Maybe."

Jake could tell Ness wasn't in the mood for further discussion. He kissed Ness on the cheek and stood up informing, "I'm gonna give her a bath."

"Okay."

"Then we'll read her a story and put her to bed."

Ness nodded.

Jacob gave his daughter a bath in the kitchen sink. Ness watched for a few minutes before slipping away to the bedroom. Jake continued with Kai's bedtime routine wondering where Ness had gone. When he the baby was asleep and tucked into bed, he came to the bedroom finding Ness fast asleep on her belly.

The bed dreams and disturbing thoughts never left Ness. Sarah Kai was now five months old. She laughed and made bubbling sounds. Sometimes she even babbled in her cute baby language but Ness couldn't help but cry almost every day.

On one occasion Jacob came home to find Ness sitting in the rocker. Tears streamed down her face but she held on tightly to Kai, who was also crying. She was lifeless, staring blankly ahead. She looked brain dead, but she was timid and uncomfortable looking.

Jacob recalled charging into the room and removing the baby from Nessie's arms. He didn't greet her or say hello, he attended to his crying daughter. He did what he could to calm her, then placed her inside the crib.

She sat there paralyzed, and when he spoke to her, she wouldn't retort. She turned her head away from him. The conscious stricken girl did not want to announce her atrocious thoughts. How could she confess that she had imagined locking her daughter in the closet and shutting the nursery door to muffle the sound further? All in order to get some peace and quiet.

When she finally did admit to her thoughts, and her nightmares. Jacob became frantic. He clenched her elbow and drug her to her bedroom ordering for her to get ready to go. She didn't know where they were going, but she didn't argue with him. He was clearly upset. She sat on the bed, confused as to where he was taking her at nine in the evening. He explained, when he came to collect her, that she needed to see a doctor.

She followed him to the car, bawling her eyes out. It was clear to both her and Jacob that she not only resented her daughter, but she began to dislike life all together.

They sat in the car for a few minutes before they went into the hospital. Jacob held her hand until she became composed. Her breathing became regulated and no tears. It was upsetting to him, to see Ness so broken and lost. It was also very confusing to him, because he didn't resent his daughter, nor did he resent Renesmee. He was absolutely proud to have them in his life. Sure, he stressed knowing he had to support them and somehow, protect them even though they were an hour away from Seattle, but they were his girls. He loved them.

He had one question that rubbed Ness the wrong way. "Do you hate Kai?"

"No," Ness renounced what he asked. Angrier she replied, "NO! I love her. I never knew I could love someone so unconditionally. I really do love her, so much, but sometimes I wish she wasn't here. I like leaving, and going to school and work only because I don't have to deal with her. But at the same time, I hate leaving her, I hate school and I hate working. I just... I'm tired. I don't know how to explain myself, I just…" She began to breath heavy and shake, "There's something wrong with me."

A majority of their night was spent in the emergency room. Disastrously, she showed up during her grandfather's shift. Ness was dead set on not seeing him, so they waited an hour until the next doctor showed up to relief him. She was then diagnosed with Postpartum depression. There Jacob learned everything. He found out just how horrifying her dreams were. Her thoughts were uncontrollable and frightening at times. Things began to make sense though. It explained how she went from being so connected to Kai when they brought her home, to and now, having no interest in her and how she was so tired.

Jacob had a strange feeling she was depressed, but he didn't pay attention to his gut feeling. What he did do was call Bella and confide in her. She had once mentioned depression because she had it during her pregnancy with Ness and after she was born. "Depression is herediary," she had said. Jacob then called Rachel. He asked them to keep an eye on her, and they did. Ness always seemed to be tired, but never hinted at how depressed she really was. She was an awfully good actress. She was too busy working or doing school work during the day to be soley focused on her daughter.

AFter the diagnosis, and she had her medications filled at the hospital pharmacy they headed home. It was sometime past midnight. On the drive home, Ness blurted, "I'm sorry okay! I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, baby, I'm glad you said something."

" I'm sorry, I'm sorry for thinking such shitty things, but I-I can't help it. I'm sorry. Please don't hate me, I already hate myself."

"I don't hate you."

"Really? But I'm a bad mom."

"No, you're not," he reassured, "This is outside of your control. It doesn't make you a bad person or a bad parent."

"I don't understand why I feel this way?"

" Ness you can't help this, just like I couldn't help feeling depressed after my mom died. You feel lost and you're scared. Having a baby is a big deal, and I think if you didn't feel at least a little sadness or confusion, that you wouldn't be normal."

"So I'm normal because I cry when I wake up and I cry myself to sleep. I get angry at my daughter, I've shouted at her. I think about dropping Kai off with my mother, leaving Forks and never coming back. That's not fucking normal Jacob."

The medication helped Ness dramtically. Weeks went by and she no longer despised who she was. Her morning anxiety attacks and cry had ceased. She had her days, but mostly she was getting better as long as she stuck to her medication. Along with that, she had to allow help from Rachel or her mother. Well, she had to take help from anyone quite frankly. It was part of her program to get better. Mainly, she was to take help with the baby. And she was no longer to hide her feelings. WHich she didn't hide them, especially from Jacob.

June rolled around, and Kai was officially five months old. Ness had walked across the stage and received her high school diploma. She opted out of a big party and settled for a small barbeque with her entire family. It eventually turned into a raging bon fire. Every person she knew from school stopped by. Many of whom, had never met Sarai. Even that dip shit, Charlene had the nerve to show her face.

Rolling her eyes, Ness walked into the house. She wouldn't dare walk into her parent's home and she didn't. She had ever intention to ignore it and remain in the house, but when she spotted Jacob, she felt the need to mention that Charlene was there. He was livid. The problems she caused in his and Ness's strange relationship, were unforgiveable in his eyes. He snatched up Sarah Kai and stormed outside.

Ness and Claire observed Jake from the back patio. Jake paced over to the blonde with the baby on his hip and politely introduced his daughter. Turning and pointing at Ness, he did the honors of announcing she was Kai's mother.

Whatever Jacob had said, to Charlene, left her standing in the yard shocked, with her mouth wide open like a fish. Her vision panned over to Ness, who, arrogantly smirked and waved at the flabbergasted young woman. She couldn't believe Renesmee had a kid with Jake.

Later in the evening, Jacob drove Renesmee and Sarai home. She wandered into her room after informing Jake that she was going to take a nap. Since her episode, he was patient and understanding with her. He called her constantly. To an annoying degree even. And even though it was to check up on her, and make sure she took her medication, it didn't bother Ness. She enjoyed hearing from him. Time and again she thought speaking to him three times a day did not seem like enough.

Ness tossed her purse on the nightstand, and toppled onto her bed recalling what she witnessed earlier at her parent's dwelling. Watching Jacob flaunt his daughter then kindly asking Charlene to leave was the highlight of her graduation day. She could explain the sick joy she got out of seeing the girl completely devastated by Jacob's devotion to both she and Kai.

A smokey scent lingered in the air. Ness lifted her arm to sniff her sleeve. It smelt of smoke from the bon fire.

She removed the cardigan that covered her sundress and laid flat on her back. To normal people a stiff mattress would be uncomfortable, but she found her bed to be one of the most relaxing places in the world. It was sort of a safe haven. There she was able to lie down and think. If she was sad, she was able to cry and not feel self-conscious. In her room, on her bed she was alone, and there was no one there to judge her.

And in her times of happiness, she could contently drift off to sleep with joyful memories.

It was one of those happy times again. Gazing up at the ceiling, Ness listened to Jacob play with Kai in the other room.

"I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna getcha!" he repeated.

She'd giggled her little chortle, and Ness laughed to herself. Sarah Kai's giggle was music to her ears. Since being prescribed antidepressants, Ness found herself again. She reestablished a connection with her daughter and was able to enjoy Kai. The resentment she had slowly, but steadily, began to break away. She certainly had some holes to patch and seem, but for the most part, she was becoming satisfied with how her life was turning out.

The temptation of spending time with Jake and Kai was alluring. Once she decided to get up, change out of her dress and join them in their playful charades, a silent vibration rumbled from inside her purse. Ness propped herself onto her elbows and reached for her bag. She pulled out her phone and sighed when she saw it was Nahuel. Preparing herself, she inhaled before answering, "Hell-o?"

"_Congratulation's_," Nahuel said.

Ness fell back onto the bed. With her limps sprawled out on the bed and a cellphone to her ear, she appeared as the eighteen year old she was and not the teenage mother who was recovering from postpartum.

She replied with all the fake enthusiasm she had in her body. "Aw thanks."

"_I was gonna try and make it to your graduation_-"

Renesmee didn't allow him to finish his sentence. She wanted to speed up this entire conversation and get to her baby and Jake. "Oh don't worry about it."

"_I feel kinda bad_."

"Don't feel bad. It's not like no one showed up for me. My entire family was there."

"_That's good, but I was sort of hoping to be able to take you out after the ceremony."_

"Out?" she wondered genuinely intrigued, "Where?"

"_Anywhere really."_

"Well, I just got home. I spent the evening with my family."

_"Oh, that's cool. I missed class last week…"_

The light rap at Ness's doorway caught her ear. Her neck was crooked when she looked up. She tuned out Nahuel and smiled at Jake.

He stepped into the room until he was at the edge of the bed. His weight caused the floors to creak. He playfully tugged her tugged her feet. Ness's mouth formed a hard line as she fought her reaction. He knew that her feet were ticklish and she was about ready to burst out laughing. "Who's that?" he wondered.

She covered the receiver and whispered,"Nahuel."

Jacob crawled onto the bed, placed a chaste peck on her chest then swallowed her frame up in his arms. He rested his head on her chest.

Giving into an impulse, Ness ran her fingers through his thick hair. He lifted his head and relaxed his chin in the gorge between her breasts. A tired smirk came to each of their faces.

She took a glimpse at him, and felt her lungs shrivel. She inhaled as deeply as she could and continued massaging his scalp. A tired smirk came to each of their faces, when they made eye contact. Jacob quickly kissed her chest again before pressing his ear back to the spot where he could hear her quickened heartbeat.

One of his hands caressed the outside of her thigh. The soft touches that brushed her skin like air, drove Ness insane with lust.

Nessie's fingertips explored the nap of his neck, and eventually travelled down to his shoulder blades. She caressed his back as his hand slithered under the hem of her dress. His fingers skimmed the skin above her knee, trailed up her thigh and settled on her abdomen. The fabric was bunched up at her hips. Her creamy legs and underwear were exposed.

The couple didn't act on their desires, though Ness was feeling quite aroused. It was a pure moment. They absorbed the closeness and felt one another's chest rise and fall. When Ness inhaled, Jacob exhaled and visa versa. They groggily laid on the bed, delicately caressing one another. It had seemed like ages ago, since they touched one another A slightly frustrated Ness bucked her hips, encouraging Jacob to take whatever steps he chose.

"_RENESMEE!"_

It wasn't until she heard that shout from the phone, that she remembered she was on the phone with Nahuel. He had been chattering in her ear the entire time, but Jake's touching easily drowned him out.

She closed her eyes and transferred her palm from Jake's back to her forehead. "Yeah? I'm sorry...what?"

Jacob noticed she turned her full attention to Nahuel. He thought he was doing so well at distracting her from the conversation. One upping his last attempt, he slid his hand under the wire off her bra and massaged her breast.

" _Do you have the notes for the final_?"

"Y-eah," she distractingly countered as Jacob's tongue glided across her chest, "I'll bring them to you on Tuesday."

"_Thanks_."

"No problem," she told Nahuel, "I gotta go."

"_Sarah Kai?"_

"Y-eah."

"_Alright Bye. I'll talk to you later_."

"Okay. Bye."

She ended the call and didn't pay attention to where he cell phone fell. She grabbed large chunks of Jake's hair with both her hands, forcing him to lift his lips from her skin. She leaned her head forward and kissed him.

There was butterflies in her stomach. Her heart beat rapidly. Damn, she loved this guy.

She began thinking that perhaps her losing her job wouldn't be the worst thing. She could have more time for school and with Jake and Kai. They could be a family.

Jacob ruined the moment when he asked, "What is he calling you for?"

"He said congratulations on graduating, and he wanted to take me out tonight."

Jake's warm head left her chest. He sat up."He has some fuckin balls."

"He's different now," she defended.

Sitting up from the bed, Jake meandered into the hallway. Ness followed and listened to Jake say,"He's not different, he tells you what you want to hear. He's always told you what you wanted to hear. "

"Is that a bad thing?"

Stopping in mid stride, Jacob spun around. Ness bumped into his chest. "Yeah. When what he tells you are lies."

" He says I'm pretty, is that a lie?"

"Yeah."

Ness snarled at the insult. "Yeah?"

Reaching out, Jake settled his palm on her cheek. "You're not just pretty Ness, you're beautiful Ness."

They exchanged smiles, before he creeped into the nursery unsure if Kai had fallen asleep or not. She was happily sitting up -all by herself- gumming her baby blanket. He picked her up and spun her around. Both parent's couldn't get enough of her giggles.

Ness sat on the floor and leaned againt the wall, brooding over the sight. It was almost unreal.

She felt the need to ask, "You really think I'm beautiful?"

Freezing, he snapped to her and lifted an eyebrow. "Duh."

Jake set Sarah Kai on a festive seafoam green rug directly in front of Nessie. It had teal, tan and navy abstract flower designs with denim blue accents. It was something she and her mother picked out before she knew Sarah Kai was a girl.

Jacob tossed a few toys between mother and baby. "Why do you still talk to him?"

Unable to look at Jake, she turned her full visual attention to her daughter. She was rattling a pair of toy car keys, excitedly.

"He excites me," Ness admitted, "and when I'm with him I forget I have Sarai... That sounds bad, I mean she's constantly on my mind but I feel like a regular eighteen year old when I'm with him."

Slightly offended, Jake's voice raised an octave. He whimpered with a cocked brow, "I don't do that?"

"Yes, and no. With Nahuel there's no expectations and, I don't have to impress him."

"You don't have to impress me either."

"I know I don't, but I want to. I almost can't do anything without questioning, 'what would Jake think about this?' or, 'would he approve?' because your opinion means the world to me. You're worth…something, to me whereas, Nahuel doesn't mean a thing. "

Being nosey and slightly jealous, Jake asked, "Are you going on _this_ date?"

She shrugged her shoulders. " I don't know? I mean, we said no dating until Kai's older. I don't see the point. I think he's different since I went out with him only...he doesn't compare to you Jake, no one I've ever dated or talked to, compared to you."

There was a hidden meaning in that comment. Was she admitting that, she thought highly of him? Perhaps in a romatic way? He replied, "NO one compares to you either Nessie."

It was getting late, and Sarai needed to get to bed. Jacob picked his daughter up, requesting Ness make a bottle. Upset, she sprang to her feet, and whined, "Let me hold her."

"You don't need to take her with you to make a bottle."

"I know, I just wanna hold her."

He kissed Ness's forehead. "Don't be greedy. You see her day in and day out. When I'm home, she's mine."

"_Ours_," she corrected, " but I get what you're saying. I'll go make a bottle."

She went into the kitchen, making a iron enriched formula for her once anemic baby.

While she was there Jacob thought over what she had said. He knew Nahuel called her frequently, but he always assumed it was about thei school work. But he had asked her on a date. _How many times has he asked her out? _

Jacob had a difficult time reading Renesmee. She said one thing, like she wanted to remain friends and only friends. Yet, she acted differently. As if she wanted more.

To figure out her emotions he concocted a story in his head.

Ness came back to the room with the formula and handed it over to Jacob. He sat in the rocker and began feeding her.

To figure out her emotions he concocted a story in his head. "Quil asked if we wanted to go on a double date with him and Claire."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Claire didn't say anything about it."

"If you don't wanna go we won't."

"No, we should they invited us."

"I'll call and tell Quil."

Ness took in the fact that Jacob called it a double date. It didn't seem abnormal to go to dinner with him. She had always been the one at his side. If someone was in search of Jacob, they always asked her. Them being apart from one another was not the norm. They basically acted as they were dating, and the fact that they had developed a sexual relationship only solidified the previous thought.

She peered up at him. The edges of his lips were curled as he had a transfixed gaze on his daughter.

He snuck glances at her as well.

For a few minutes they were quiet, until Ness stated, "Claire asked if we were dating."

"Did she now?"

She nodded. "She asks a lot about you and me."

" What do you tell her when she asks about us?"

"That we weren't dating anyone because we want to focus on Sarai."

"We should."

Ness walked from the room while informing, "I'm gonna take a shower."

Not even a second later, she poked her head in and said, "Wanna join?"

Jacob smirked, it had been weeks since he's seen her nakes. He replied, "If you'll let me."

" Naw, you should probably spend time with your daughter," she teased.

He took a gander at his daughter. She was sound asleep, sucking on her empty bottle. "She's asleep," he said.

"Then put her to bed and meet me in the shower."

And he did just that.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Ugh! I both liked and hated this chapter. As always I get frustrated and speed through the ending. Sorry. I know ya'll say I'm doing a great job, but am I the only one believing this story has no depth? It seems like a runaround of two idiot teenagers that can't be honest with one another. I mean, that is how I wrote them but seriously, what do you want to see from the story? WHat I will say is ya'll will love the next chapter. NESS HAS A MAJOR REVELATION. SO, I'm hoping to get at least 30 reviews, and I already have the next chapter written so...REVIEW's get previews and I'll update once I hit the 525-530 mark on my reivews. Make this all worth my while people! MUCH LOVE & HAPPY READING!

**Special thanks to:** theavidreader4life, NOelly, nessiehugs, JUSTaDAMNbook, Macy, msr709, EZeeBaby, Dreamcatcher94, DelSan 13, TwilightSy, dkgors, Candy Cane Crayzy, luv2beloved, hsrtley'sgirl, mojojojo152, Tashay789, Dazzler916, gmb7064, Dubsdoll, SLM84 and Breanna Lynn. Thanks for your patience and support.

**I hope you guys had a great Christmas and have an amazing New Year!**


	35. Swelter

Author's Note: This is my VERY belated New Year/Valentine's gift. While I like this chapter, it's rather un-original. Oh well, it's up and I warn you this is a mature chapter. Not to detailed, but through the process of _"it"_ Ness has a lot of thoughts to straighten out_. _

* * *

"_One night of magic rush, the start a simple touch, one night to push and scream, and then relief..."_

**Chapter 35 -Swelter-**

**S**trolling through a gas station convenience store, Jacob was on the prowl for a drink to quench his thirst. He peered through the wall of glass doors until he found an appealing sport drink. Opening the fridge, he snatched the bottle and headed toward the register. As he sauntered through the aisles, he spotted a claw crane game. The mechanics inside were most likely eroded and rusted out but it was worth a shot. He stepped closer, examining his competition. The contraption must have been decades old, but inside was dozens of brand new stuffed animals. He peered through the Plexiglas, scoping out his options. He spotted a stuffed wolf, which reminded him of Sarai. When she cried, she howled. It was the most heart breaking noise a father could hear. The last time he saw her, she had giant tears streaming down her cheeks. Although he wanted to comfort her, he had to leave. School awaited.

Jacob took out a dollar from his wallet and played the claw machine. Seven minutes and four dollars later, the claw hooked the wolf.

_It's amazing what can happen with a little patience. _Of course as he pondered this, he thought of Renesmee. One day his patience with her would pay off. In some measure, he hoped all the would be worth it.

Holding the lever on the gas pump, he waiting until the tank was full. He gawked at the stuffed wolf in the passenger seat fondling his emotions. The young man was weary from his extracurricular activities. He had school, schoolwork, work and soon, he'll have regular football practice as well as games. Along with that, there was his Kai-Kai. He missed his daughter a great deal, and his heart always yearned for the young woman he felt was his soul mate. Along with everything else, he was growing tired of her head games. Whether she knew it or not, she manipulated him. And if he thought about it long enough, it hurt his feelings.

He had submerged himself in stupid expectations and had been relying on a hopeless hope. His thoughts were distorted three hundred and sixty degrees from when he was inside with the claw machine. _She'll never want me. Patience is a waste of time and energy. _

The confidence he had that Renesmee would official commit, was wearing thin. Even though they've been best friends for five years and continued to enjoy one another's company, nothing was becoming of it. It confused Jacob, because on top of that, they had made a beautiful daughter together. Waiting for her to take the next step was taking longer than he expected.

Subconsciously, they were committed each other to one another. Why couldn't they just commit officially?

Jake was capping the gas tank off, brooding over his "friendship." He needed assurance that the relationship he shared with Ness was more than a friendship. All he wanted was some sort of assurance that their friendship was more than just friendship.

His cell rang from inside his jean pocket. He retrieved the phone and read the caller i.d. When he saw the name, his optimism returned. He and Renesmee were so much more than just friends.

With a grin, he answered, "Hello?"

Ness adjust herself on the small loveseat and folded her legs beneath her. Her response was immediate. "Hey. What are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm about to head into work."

"Ahh-" she playfully whined monitoring Sarah Kai's behavior.

The little one was positioned across the room in her own seat. The seat enabled Sarai to sit comfortably by herself without Ness having to fear that she might fall over. Truthfully, she sat by herself pretty well but -before she called Jacob- Ness was attempting to concentrate on her homework from math course. Her summer course was only seven weeks long, so there was no room for doddling, or failing.

She thought over buying a desk before retorting to Jacob, "Sarai misses you."

Apart of Ness cracked as she recited that short statement. This time around it had been two weeks. Two weeks to long. Sure, Sarai missed her daddy but Ness was pining for Jacob almost as much as souls in hell yearned for holy water. The ache was overpowering. It was as if he left for Oregon State all over again. Before bed, Ness would cling to one of the many photo albums she assembled. She'd flip through the pages yearning, weeping. Crying herself to sleep, became a nightly affair because she remembered, vividly, what it was like to be in his arms.

Jake's forehead raised, forming lines that illustrated his listlessness. Dejectedly, he countered, "I miss her too."

Once more Mama vulture took a gander at her stranger baby. Her dark brunette hair was nearly black, the ends curled, and there was enough it to be clipped back behind her ear.

Sarah Kai was adorable in Renesmee's eyes. Frankly, the six month old captivated all she met. Her preciously chubby face, button nose and one tooth grin melted hearts. That tooth cutting through was the reason she's been finicky. Then there were the long lashes that accentuated her almond shaped eyes. Dear God her eyes were the same bright caramel color Jacob's were. They only made Ness long for Jacob more.

Ness glided into her designated spot on the floor, the coffee table acting as her desk. She looked over a difficult problem she had been working on. The background noise was Sarai's babbling and squealing. Every tiny sound caught the college student's complete attention.

Now-a-days, Kai's sight had microscopic detection. Ness had to constantly sweep and vacuum the floors, otherwise she's snatch up whatever object was in sight and placed it in her mouth.

Therefore, the baby was under her mother's vulture eyes.

Ness was mindlessly staring at her daughter. Half way to one, she continued to grow and learn every day. Though, she was delayed in her development, the pediatrician made it clear that Sarai's development may be slower since she was a premature baby.

There had been no words exchanged for a good thirty seconds. Jake was waiting on a reply but apparently, there wasn't much she had to say. "Is she talking yet?"

Ness lowered her head, the words dripped from her mouth like a leaky faucet, "No. She's, still babbling."

_You should be here anyways_, _she'd talk for you._ The thought turned her bitter. Sarah Kai continued to fuss for Renesmee but when Jacob handled her, she was the perfect little angel. Not a single tear was shed in his presence. Alright, maybe Ness's assumptions were just that, assumptions. However, she could not help but feeling as though their daughter favored him. Hell, he was her favorite person. Why wouldn't their daughter love Jacob more than her?

"I thought you were gonna get weekends off?" Ness inquired.

Sarah Kai screeched and flailed her plump limbs about, as she vigorously fought for her momma's attention. Ness stuck her tongue out then hid behind her math book. The baby stalled, went wide eyed and cocked her head, astonished that her momma disappeared. When momma reappeared she giggled and shouted.

Coming to her feet, Ness walked over to her baby knowing that her loud noises meant she wanted momma's attention. Sarai's chubby little arms reached out, begging to be picked up. Ness positioned the phone between her ear and shoulder and lifted her baby from the sitting aid and onto her hip.

"I know, I can't though," he reluctantly opposed, "There's a big part sale for Fourth of July weekend & I'm working on a Beemer."

Ness angled her head nodding at Sarai as if she too, understood. A foreign car meant more commission but, she missed him. "Jake, I didn't see you last weekend."

"I'm sorry Ness, but I know the rent is due and I can make at least four hundred extra dollars."

Glidding onto the couch, Ness settled Sarai on her lap. Knowing he wasn't coming home this weekend, for their daughter's first Fourth of July crushed Ness.

There was silence, but the dead air could not conceal the muffled sniffle.

"Are you okay?" he wondered.

Dropping her head, Ness fought tears and bit her quivering bottom lip. "I can pay the rent just come home. I miss you."

"I miss you to baby, but I'll see you soon. I'll try to come by Sunday."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Do something that'll cheer you up."

Kai began squirming, as Ness said, "You coming home would cheer me up."

"I really am sorry."

"I know."

To settle Kai, and herself, she placed Jacob on speaker. She hoped Kai would react happily.

"Hey you're on speaker. S_ince you're not coming home,_ say hi to your daughter. Maybe she'll say something back."

He ignored the venom in the way she recited her sentence, and complied, "Kai-kai you there?"

Sarai tipped her head at the anomaly. The little one noticed the voice and, once she recognized the gruff emanating from the speaker, grabbed for the phone.

Ness spoke in a nasally tone. "Who's that?"

"Kai Kai it's me, daddy."

Ness excitedly opened her eyes wide, smiling wide, showing her teeth. "It's daddy! Can you say, _daddy_?"

"I love you Kai-Kai."

"I love you too daddy," Ness spoke for her daughter then urged, " Say something b_ay_bees."

A diesel truck passed by, deafening any noise that came from his cell. He watched out of his car window until the diesel couldn't be heard. "I can't hear her. What'd she say?"

"She isn't really saying much, just babbling. She's staring at the phone like it's an alien. She's probably wondering why she hears daddy's voice, but can't see him."

It was apparent, his truancy aggravated her, but he didn't have time to chat. He had to get back on the road. "Hey Nessie?"

Jacob took her grunt as a counter and carried on. "I gotta go, but I'll be home before you know it. Give Kai a kiss for me."

"Kay." She heeded his request and compressed her lips to her daughter's on her cheek. "Can you say, _bye bye_? Bye bye."

The young man placed his keys in the ignition and started the Rabbit's engine. He did not want to end the conversation, but he was losing time by sitting at the gas station on the phone. He said, "Bye Sarai."

A silver medallion was in the baby's stubby fingers. She gave it her best to put her mother's necklace in her toothless mouth. However, Ness wouldn't allow her to eat the jewelry, it was a gift from Jacob. She tugged the necklace from her daughter's hand and reprimanded her. "No, no. That's mommy's necklace."

The way she dealt with Sarai now was a far cry from a few months ago. There hadn't been an outburst nor had she so much as raised her voice at her stranger baby since the one time she lost her temper. She was soft spoken now, and always aware of the tone she used with Sarai.

A weak smile spread across Ness's mouth when she told Jacob how disappointed he wouldn't be home for Independence day and expressed how much she and Sarai missed him.

"I miss you both too. Do something to make yourself feel better, Okay? I'll be home soon."

"Yeah," Ness replied, " Have a good day at work."

"Thanks. Love you."

For some time now, she hadn't hesitated to respond to those words. "I love you too. Bye."

"Bye."

Driving West of Seattle, Jake mourned the phone call, but he would see his girls soon enough.

Ness set her cell on the coffee table. Lying on her back, she snuggled with her daughter, kissing her cheeks and cooing at her. Kai was on her tummy, bearing her weight on her arms and slamming her palm against Ness's face. As innocent revenge, the mother hugged her daughter tightly and blew raspberry kisses on her neck. The petite lips on Sarai stretched into a toothless smile and her button nose crinkled. The darling baby's body went rigid as she laughed.

Sarai's mouth transformed from a heart melting smile into a yawn. Ness laid her baby's ear across her chest. As she stroked the baby's back with her palm, she thought of Jacob.

"Maybe we should go surprise daddy?" she whispered, "Yep, I think we should, but you need a nap first, and I need a shower."

xXx

A few hours later, Jacob entered a quiet house. The stuffed wolf clasped in his hand. As usual, he walked into the outdated kitchen, setting his wallet, cell and set of keys in his designated drawer. Over the months, since Sarai was born, his belonging piled up on the counter. It began to bother Ness so incessantly that she cleared out a drawer of his very own. Random things, such as his mail, a spare cell phone charger, and other odds and ends had accumulated, along with some important documents. Jacob didn't know what possessed him, but he began moving things from his father's into Renesmee's place. Permission nor approval was needed from her. He figured, the day she gave him a spare key to the duplex, was the day he was welcomed anytime. She never spoke a word about it, hence he presumed she was content by his being there.

Jacob couldn't recall the last time he knocked on the door waiting for Ness to unlock the deadbolt. Most likely it was while she was pregnant, which felt like ages ago. Now, things between them were routine and comfortable in ways, but she loved to surprise him. If the timing was right, she'd have dinner prepared for him or have some activity planned that they, as a family, could enjoy. Little things like taking Sarai on a hike or visiting Billy. It was satisfying to feel as a family, he loved feeling wanted by her, in most every way. At times, she became frisky, performing lascivious deeds for him and visa versa. But, it has never gone beyond that.

The lack of an official commitment bothered Jacob. He felt like a designated fuck-buddy. Only, there was no fucking involved. For goodness sakes, he not only had his own cabinet drawer in the kitchen, but he had his own spot in Ness's nightstand, an area in the closet, and a shelf in the medicine cabinet. That bore the proof that the friendship he had with Renesmee was more than friendship.

With Sarai's gift in hand, Jacob crept through the kitchen into the dimly lit nursery. He drew back the curtains that Ness must have bought sometime in the last couple weeks. Afternoon light leaked in, illuminating the baby's angelic face. In a deep slumber, her miniature chest and belly expanded and then sunk with each breath.

He set the stuffed wolf in the corner of the crib. Leaning over the railing, he cupped the baby's head in his large hands and kissed her forehead. "Hey Kai-Kai."

As he stroked Sarai's soft hair, he realized the longer length. The pang in his chest told him, however short two weeks was, it felt like such a prolonged period of time. Eternity.

Each time he laid eyes on his daughter, he fell in love all over again. Not only with Sarai but with her mother.

From the room he heard his love's soft hail. "Jacob…"

Not wanting to wake his daughter, he muttered,"Yeah?"

Knowing she wouldn't be able to hear his reply, Jacob tip-toed towards the sound as quickly as he could. He tried to keep quiet, to not wake Sarah Kai. As he neared the room he could identify the scent of soap and feel vapor in the air. His heart dropped a little. _Did she fall out of the shower? Is she okay? _

As he strolled by the restroom, he mindlessly gripped the door frame and peered inside the bathroom. The mirror was fogged heavily with condensation. Steam thickly lingered in the air. Thankfully, the moisture was the only thing in that wash room.

He then heard Ness groan, "Uhhh- Jake!"

His snapped to the sound. By the tone, she sounded as if she were in pain. He

As soon as he hit the thresh hold of the bedroom, he froze. Deadpan and paralyzed Jacob surveyed the young woman.

Renesmee was sprawled across the bed, not moaning in pain, but, enjoying herself. From the looks of it she was indulging in her carnal needs. He has had girls strip down in front of him, drunkenly kiss him and attempt to get him off but, to be present as a woman was pleasuring herself, was an occurrence Jacob had never witnessed before.

Wet hair left water droplets along her collar bone and shoulders. A towel was hanging from the edge of the mattress. Her back was arched from the release she was reaching. One of her hands clenched the bed sheet and her head lolled around. With closed eyes she continued self-satisfying, and whimpered, "Jake."

By chance, Nessie's eyes flickered open. For a millisecond, their eyes connected, before she reacted.

Inside her chest, her heart was trying to punch out of her rib cage. The pulse dipped into her gut. Her legs went numb for a second. She rose up, fumbling to cover her body with the charrcoal gray sheets. She shouted, "What the fuck! Don't you knock?"

"But-" He checked out the door. It was wide open.

She shrieked bloody murder through grit teeth. "Get out!"

Waving a white flag, Jacob back stepped throwing his hands up in the air. He wasn't sure what to do, or how he felt. He stuttered, "Y-you were, were calling me. Me?"

She stood from the bed yanking the sheets with her. "No, I wasn't!"

He then caught on. "You were saying my name."

She gave him an unforgiving glare before spinning around to rifle through her dresser. While searching for a piece of clothing to cover herself up, she attempted to keep the sheet wrapped around her frame. It slipped multiple times, exposing back and the flesh of her bare bottom. He was glad she was less thin and more filled out.

He couldn't blink. The silk of her pale skin against the contrast of dark sheets, was alluring to him. "You were saying my name and you were…"

With a curious realization, his mouth fell agape. Who would have ever thought, that a woman fantasized about the father of her child? Jacob had the urge to smile but more so, the entire ordeal left him in shock.

Dropping the sheet, she tossed a shirt over her naked body. "Jacob get out!" she begged.

He lustfully ran his eyes over hear body. The old tee-that happened to be one of Jacob's workout shirt- didn't do much covering. The sleeves had been ripped off and stretched out so far that it revealed the side of her breast and her rib cage. Anything past her hip bone was hidden, besides the anatomy that seperated the females from the males.

Noticing him eyeing her, she pulled the hem lower covering herself.

Jacob bowed his head. "How long have you been doing that?"

"Oh. My. Gosh." How could he ask such a question? She stomped forward, with nothing but the oversized tee on. Her bare feet padded against the wood floors.

A pang of guilt hit Jacob when he saw the embarrassment in her eyes. Although, the embarrassment she had was wrapped up and hidden in false anger.

She uselessly pushed at his broad shoulders. She would have had more luck moving a brick wall. Frustrated, she slammed her fist against his chest, screeching, "Get out! Pleee-ase get out!"

He grabbed the wrist of the hand that hit his chest. "Answer the question!"

Instantly, she claimed her wrist back and yelled, "What! What do you want to know!"

"How long have you been…" Jacob paused, he couldn't finish his statement. He was still in shock from the entire ordeal.

Unsure as to whether or not she should answer him, she crossed her eyes revealing her closed mind. She was not going to discuss this. With a roll of her eyes, she instantly abandoned her first decision. Slightly ashamed but mostly sarcastic, she breathed,"Probably since the same age you started masturbating."

Jacob took a step closer towards her and pointed a thumb to his chest. "How long have been doing that...imagining me?"

As an alternative, the young woman didn't answer. She pointed to the hallway. "Get out!"

There was no movement, nor reply from the young man.

The irritation she had with him was increasing by the second. Not only was she humiliated, but she wasn't use to him not obeying her. "Oh my gosh Jacob, I don't want to talk about this! Get out!"

Giving in, as always, Jacob allowed her to be the authoritative with him. He stepped back, and with a loud crack, the door slammed in his face.

Nothing about their relationship made sense. Why did she deny her feelings towards him? If there were any. Or maybe, she couldn't identify her feelings properly? Perhaps what was between them was purely physical, but if so, how come they haven't made the beast with two backs? The one time they've had sex wasn't much, yet it was the most significant moments in their lives. He felt something, but she claimed to have never had sentiments aimed towards him.

He couldn't believe this. In a persons mind, they were not limited. She could have easily fantasized about some A-List actor or a rock star, but no, she imagined him satisfying her.

Jake left to check on Kai. He was almost positive Ness's shouting had awaken her. Though, he was wrong.

In the crib, she was still fast asleep. It was a wonder she didn't wake from Ness's shouting. _Heavy sleeper, like me, _he thought. He settled on the time passed slowly. Each tick like a pulse of a dying person. He waited uncertain how to operate the strange state Renesmee and he had just placed themselves in. Should he wait until she was ready to talk, or should he initiate the difficult conversation they must have?

_Fuck it. _He came to his feet, ready to settle the awkward score.

Ness's head was directed towards Jacob when he barged in the room. From the untify bed, Ness sat on punched up sheets shooting daggers at him. He saw her uncomfortableness, but he had to be straight and to the point."Ness? You're comfortable with me aren't you?"

Still bare underneath her tee, she curled up on the bed trying to hide southern regions from him. Not caring, he came closer. With each step, he could see her cringe. Her head had sunken, he shoulders lifted tensely. On the mattress, he sat as close to her as he saw suitable. He reached out to tuck her damp hair behind her ear. She recoiled, not wanting him to touch her. Taking a pillow, she shielded herself from him and backed up into the rod iron of her headboard.

He painfully glowered, pulling back his hand. Was she not comfortable with him? Double checking he asked,"Are you?"

She took the pillow in her arms, squeezing the down. Of course she was comfortable with him, except she's never known humility. She's never had anything to be humiliated about. Pressing her face into the pillow, Not wanting to see his response, she pressed her face into the pillow, while synchronously nodding.

Jake placed his hand on the back of her neck, it slipped to her lower back. It sent blazing shivers up her spine. "Ness?"

Rolling her head sideways, one eye peeked up at the young man. That was encouraging enough for Jake to continue. "We're just talking, and I kinda want to know something. How long have you been…" He paused, unsure how to phrase his question.

Ness again sheltered herself by burrowing her face deeper into the pillow. He heard her muffled words. "Don't ask me that."

"I'm curious."

She peeked at him through her eyelashes, shrugging. "I don't know? Since, since…" she let out a giant sigh, throwing her head back to the heavens. "Probably when I moved to Forks."

Noticing a dangling web on the ceiling, she added,"After I met you."

His head bobbed up and down."That long huh?" Curiousity engrossed his mind. "Did you do it in high school?"

Again, she nodded. _And_ _while I was pregnant, and now. _She bit at her nails, knowing there was no way in hell that she would, ever, admit that to him.

"Was it always me, or do you imagine other guys too?"

And there was no way in hell she'd admit that to him either.

She let out an exaggerated gutteral sigh. With a roll of her eyes, she unfolded her legs and stood on her feet. She tossed the sham directly besides Jake. Bending over, she picked up her towel from the floor and wrapped it around her waist. She stormed out the room grumbling to herself.

An irked Jacob, spun his head around, catching a glimpse of her back side as she fled.

When she was out of view, he frustratedly ran his hands through his hair and collapsed on the bed. She was about as consistent as the weather. She was stormy clouds one day, and bright clear skies the next. Today was another cloudy with a chance of thunderstorms kind of day.

xXx

Practically naked, Ness left the damp towel in the bathroom and went into the hall closet for a dry towel to cover her bottom half. While wrapping the linen around her waist she wondered_, What the hell just happened?  
_

Putting her thoughts aside, Renesmee checked on Sarai, who was sleeping peacfully. She caught eye of the stuffed wolf in the corner of the rib. Obviously, it was from Jake. He's the sweetest bastard she ever knew.

Oh boy, did that man drive her crazy, in all the right ways. She paced the nursery thinking over her erratic emotions. The same behavior had gotten her pregnant. It was her bizzare emotions and suppressed hormones that got her into this mess to begin with. But it was plain and simple why she freaked, she got caught. She kicked him out of the room out of sheer embarrasment, but that had passed fairly quick. Silently, she prayed he'd come back and ravish her. He didn't. When he returnned to the bedroom, after she kicked him out, he questioned about her masturbation. Why? Why couldn't he just not speak and take advantage of her horny mood?

In time, Renesmee drifted back to the was no use in hiding out, she'd have to see him sometime and she needed to put on a pair of underwear.

From amid two heavy black out curtains, the dusk light flooded into the room. Their main purpose was to block out any light when she slept, and since moving in they've never been opened. And she's never stared out them the way Jacob was doing so. He was transfixed on something in the distance, or in his mind. His eyes smoldered, his body like a statue in a sitting pose. He was exactly where she had left him.

Not entirely sure of Jacob's mood, she hesitated to sit at his side. So, she sat on the opposite side of unmade bed, eyeing the stark pallid walls.

There was contemplation about buying a picture or a piece of wall décor to liven up the room. She only thought this to distract her from what she should being wondering about. There were many issues she wished she had the courage to discuss but she kept her mouth shut.

They sat back to back. No words were exchanged. Jacob hadn't even acknowledged her presence in the room. However, he knew. Only, he was deep in thought. He wasn't sure what to do at this point. She denies being in love with him, but she'll kiss him, hold his hand and show the kind of affection a girl would only show to a boyfriend. Didn't that mean anything?

"You don't look at me the same."

Jacob looked over his shoulder, puzzled by her statement. His eyes burrowed into her head, wanting to peek inside her brain. What was she speaking about?

"Ever since I told you about me, wanting to…" she looked pained as she spoke, "hurt Sarah Kai, because of the postpartum and now this, you look at me differently. "

Jacob's entire body twisted around to face Ness. "I don't look at you any differently."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't. You're still the same Ness I met when I was fourteen. Better even." He reached across the bed, and sandwiched her right hand with his oversized ones. She scrutinized his rough hands, noticing his touch lit a fire within her. Along with the compliment, his simple touch was a heart warming gesture. She bowed her head, concealing her stinging eyes from Jake. She held her breath to fight back the tears.

Carrying on, he spoke in all seriousness, "Have you ever considered that maybe, it's not me who looks at you in a different way, but you who sees me differently."

Calmly, she dragged her hand away from his. When her soft skin slipped from his hold, he didn't know how to react. He had his fingers crossed that she knew what he meant. He was pointing out the feelings she never knew she had.

The pillow rested on her lap, as a pet would. Downward, her eyes were cast, gaping at her palm . Turned down at it's corners, her mouth pouted. She was deep in thought, pondering Jacob's last statement. Did she see him any differently? No, she's he was still her Jacob, and he hasn't changed one bit, she has. Since Kai, she felt their bond was stronger, their relationship felt secure. Unlike in high school, she could stake a claim on him.

Ness reached back and rubbed her neck nervously. "Jake?"

"Hm?"

Hugging herself, she arrived at the conclusion that she would answer what he had questioned earlier. _Was it_ _always me, or do you imagine other guys too?_

"I imagine you," she admitted. This was something Jacob did not expect. When it came to her sexual fantasies, he was the only guy she's ever fantasized about. She didnt have the precise reason why, she only knew that he was her number one. He always had been, and most likely, always would be.

Jake's eyes flashed to her face, his brows furrowed . "What?"

She shuffled to his side, the mattress bounced with her movements. Wrapping her slender arms around his waist, she took cover beneath his arms and affirmed, " I've always imagined you."

He bundled her up closer. The narrowed distance between them was perfect. He tested the water, by placing his hand on her cheek. To her, his touch feltwarm and inviting. He tilted her head up, guiding her vision to his. They exchanged tired smiles. She covered his hand with her own. Her grasp smothered his pinky and ring finger.

Lightly, a soft as a summer breese, she pressed her lips to his hand. "Only you."

Touch rebound from Jacob. Ness figured no contact, would diminish her desirous mood. Both fixedly ogled one another, unsure of what's to come.

The wariness could be seen in Jake's straight and tense back. She stiffened up and took a quick glance at his lips. Each of their heart rates rose, adrenaline pumped throughout their provoked bodies. Their body was given of natural sexual codes that neither were aware of.

Someone had to give. To make a move. After another second, Ness decided she'd be the instigator.

Renesmee took ahold of his neck forcing his lips onto hers. He wouldn't deny her. He lied her down. Their tongues danced. Minutes later, she pushed his face away, and rolled her head on it's side in order for her lungs to find breath. Oh how she always lost breath around this man.

The towel around her waist was lost in their intense necking. Ness gathered his shirt in her hands, and stetched the fabric up over his head. He nibbed at her neck, a hand ran down her sides, beneath her shirt and cinched her thin waist. His fingers checked her wetness, establishing the mood she was in. It was only natural for hi to begin pleasuring her.

Every nerves in her body was aroused, her skin tingled with every touch. She didn't just want to be toyed with and touched. She could feel him between her legs. He was firm and ready. Now, so was she. Making love with him was suddenly what she wanted. She blurted, "Go grab a condom."

"Huh?"

"Go grab a condom."

He assumed it was just another episode of giving head. Apparently, he was wrong. "You sure?"

She thought about it, and for a strange reason she was scared. She breathlessly responded, "Yes, they're in the cabinet above the sink."

"If you're not sure, we shouldn't do anything."

"I'm," she paused , "I'm sure, I've been sure about it for a long time." _Since before Kai was born._

He laid one hard lust driven kiss on her lips before jumping up from the bed and hobbling to the bathroom.

She bellowed, "Hurry."

The box of condoms were in the cabinet above the sink, just as she said. It had been months since he's seen this exact box. He remembered pulling them from a grocery bag and wondering why the heck she bought them? She's the one who forbad sex with anyone, and when she wouldn't tell him who she planned to use the condoms with, his temper got the best of him. So distraught he tossed the box against the fridge. Thankfully, the dented box had yet to be opened. She told him, if the mood struck, they'd only have sex with one another. That was perfectly fine with him.

He tore open the box, pulled out a condom and ran back to the room. He was greeted with Renesmee hidden under the sheets. Soon enough, he coaxed her from the covers by removing his pants.

The taste of the tip of his tongue was indescribable. All she knew was she loved how it touched back of her tongue. His breath slowly escalated, turning warmer and hotter. The heat of his breath skimmed her neck. His body, was her sail in the waves of sheets. He hovered and trembled above her. She could feel him tremble. She thought it was cute, and she told herself he was just as nervous as she was. Their lips were sealed to the other, occasionally they'd gasp for air only to turn back to kissing passionately. It had never been so fervid before. Ness had never kissed him this way, not even in the wild throws of their first time.

Somehow, the couple considered this, the first time they made love.

They kissed one another obsessively. Jake pressed into her, again and again. Each penetration forced Nessie to whine intensely. In between heavy breathing, she whimpered his name and he responded by echoing her name. He'd pant and try to catch his breath while nuzzling his face into Ness's hair. It was slightly damp but for the most part, it had been air dried. He could smell the mint shampoo she used. It was new and fresh. He cherished how there was always something different about her, something new to be discovered.

His broad hands found their way to her head. Jake's fingers raked through her brunette locks as he pecked her lips. Only she'd deepen them. She would run her tongue along his bottom lip and when he reciprocated, she'd pull back. She would tease him and suck on his bottom lip. It drove him crazy. And his only reaction was to thrust harder. It forced her to bite his shoulder, it caused her to moan louder.

At one point, Jacob pulled her up. They stayed connected as he knelt. His knees sank into the mattress from their collected weight and her legs stayed tightly locked around his waist. Stunned, her body trembled from the sensation. For a moment, they stayed still. Their eyes locked. Their foreheads pressed together. Their breathing was heavy. Their chests expanded. His fingers crawled up the valley of her back, causing the woman to involuntarily shiver.

Ness felt a flutter in her stomach, and she registered that, he held her like a man should hold a women during sex -with pure adoration and tenderness. It was nice and the gaze they had on one another, was otherworldly. She never knew she could be this completely connected to one person. In every way possible, these two were connected. Physically, emotionally and spiritually. She could feel it in her bones, and he could feel it in his. As his caramel eyes continued to stare into heart and her soul she knew she felt it. The fluttering was boiling over in the pit of her stomach and she didn't want to face it.

So instead of moaning how in love with him she genuinely was, she growled, "Fuck me Jake."

He brought one arm around her waist and laid her back down. He left a moist trail of fire down to her chest, where he took a nipple into his mouth. His hands run down her sides, around her hips, up her thighs and time and again he'd squeeze her ass.

Sometime in the midst off all this, Renesmee began crying. She didn't know when the tears began to fall, but it was clear why. Still, she did not want to face the inevitable truth but the disease was on her mind and burying itself in her heart. She was in love with Jacob Black.

Jake took notice to the tears on her cheeks, and slowed his pace. "Should I stop?

She cried almost deliriously. "Nuh-oh! No."

This happened a couple of times, and each time he slowed his pace, but she begged for him to continue.

Jake wasn't sure, how much longer he could hold out, he was close. With the last crucial plunge, he felt himself pulsate in intense pleasure. Worried, Ness hadn't reached her climax, Jake speedily brought his fingers to her clit. If he was done, he was going to continue to pleasure her until she had reached her relief.

At that second, her body convulsed harder than Jacob's ever seen. She shook and her thighs trembled in pleasure. Jake rubbed her bundle of nerves and continued to penetrate her until she quit convulsing. Muscles went taut, and every nerve in the young parent's bodies were quivering in ecstasy.

Both lay on the bed searching for a steady breath. Jacob was taking in what had happened in the last half hour. All the events that lead to this didn't lose that surprising factor. He just had sex with Renesmee Cullen.

Both were flat on their back, gazing up at the ceiling gasping for air. She was still crying, and Jacob felt guilty. He rolled on his side, cradling his head in his hand. He brushed a tear from her cheek, asking, "Did I hurt you?"

She nodded, another tear rolled down her rosy cheek.

"I'm sorry about that."

The side of her lip curled up in a closed mout smile. "Don't be."

"But I hurt you," he said combing his fingers through her waving hair.

She turned onto her side to face him. "In a good way. In a very good way."

"Do you love me?"

The reply, a simple nod of the head.

He leant down, kissing her. "Say it."

"I love you."

"I love you too." There was something he had to clarify, it caused him to wonder, "You love me, as a boyfriend?"

"Uhm…" she stumbled. Her fogged mind couldn't speak, but the one thought she had in her head was _yes._ Though boyfriend, was such a scanty definition of Jacob Black. He was more. He was everything. He was her soul mate, and that startled the shit out of her.

Pulling herself up, she sat with her back arching and shoulder's hunched forward.

Jacob eyed the milky rungs of her spine, waiting for an answer. He rubbed her side.

These feelings bubbling inside her were odd, yet she was accustomed to these emotions with Jacob. Only, they were fiercer than they've ever been. Sharper. With every milestone they had in their relationship – hugs, holding hands, napping on the same bed, falling asleep in one another's arms, kissing, sex, Sarah Kai, foreplay- she sensed that what they had was a million times more than platonic. Although, her still naïve mind, was not sure as to whether her feelings were of a strong bond between friends, or the sentiments of love.

It was silent, and Jake was on edge. He anticipated an answer from the women he just made love to. Did Renesmee love him as a boyfriend, or was this all a game to her?

Renesmee shivered. It was not cold in the room, but her opinion of her friendship was put into question, along with her curious feelings. It was the feeling that made you forget things, and not just big complicated things but the simplest facts, because this person was continually on your mind. Why? Who the hell knows? But their stupid gorgeous face won't leave your head, and that lovely voice reverberated there even though you hadn't heard them speak for hours. Every good and bad memory revealed itself and despite bitter feelings you would never take any of the bad back. For those horrible memories only made the relationship strengthen. It taught couples how to communicate, it taught them how to be understanding and forgiving.

Jacob and Renesmee had that, but there were many more feelings she felt with him.

Feeling that made you want to be better for them, because you knew you would never be good enough. No matter how hard you put in the effort, it's not enough, because they deserve more. But, you'd spend your entire life trying to be the best for them, because you love them. She didn't do that for anyone but Jacob.

Click.

A snap from the mechanics in her brain, made Renesmee see why she had been so stubborn since the discovery of her pregnancy. It was not as she told herself. She didn't try to be independent for her father, because she could give a fuck about proving herself to anyone. She did it for Jacob. The second he said she wasn't ready to be a mother, she pushed herself to show him she was worthy of mothering his child. She was going to school, of course to support Kai, but to show Jacob she was more than just some girl he impregnated in high school. She was working her way up the latter of success, she had the job, the house, the child and now she had _him_. If that is what she choose.

All these raging emotions were ever present, and she loved him. It caused her skin shiver but her body to swelter. The heat pooled in her cheeks, in her chest and in the pit of her stomach.

She truly loved him, with every ounce of her being she loved him. But to admit she was in love may set her on the fast track of destroying the friendship they've developed over the past five years.

If she admitted she loved him, like she had done in previous relationships, it may very well be the end. It could end as it had in the past, and she did not want that. She wanted Jacob forever, and she preferred him be a friend, not foe.

As she wiped a tear away, Jake spoke. "Seriously? You don't see me as more than a friend?"

She tightly pressed her eyelids together and held her breath. It was only seconds until she felt composed.

Over her shoulder, she turned her vision to him. "You're more than my best friend. You're the father of my child," she paused then forced herself into his arms, "You're the most important person in my life."

Their arms swathed on another, their torsos met one another with their bare flesh pressed together. Ness recited, "I love you. I do, I really do. I love you."

As vague as her answer was, it felt genuine. She loved him. Their legs intertwined, and heads pressed together. Ness slid her fingertips softly up the skin of his fingers and laced their fingers together. Passion ran through his veins like poison. Chills caressed his body. He grabbed her face and kiss her as if it was the last kiss ever. "I love you so much."

"I love you," she repeated.

"Have you thought about moving to Seattle?"

Ness sighed. She didn't want to spoil the moment by speaking about their complicated lives. "Let's not talk. Just hold me."

"Sure, sure."

The held one another for what seemed like hours. Ness was on the brink of sleep, but the beautiful silence was broken when Jake asked, "You tired?"

She kept her eyes closed and breathlessly replied, "Exhausted. I was trying to take a nap before you interrupted."

He chuckled then kissed her forehead. "It didn't look like you were trying to nap."

"You told me to," she replied, slapping his chest, "You said do something that made me feel good."

"I did, didn't I?"

"I thought it'd help me fall asleep."

"Yeah right, you just can't help yourself when you think of me."

"I guess not."

After a yawn, and a cat-like stretch Ness moaned, "Ugh…I gotta get Kai up, otherwise she'll be up all night. I hate waking her."

As she went to sit up, he urged her to stay in bed. "I'll go get her, you try to take that nap."

She didn't fight him.

xXx

When she awoke, Jacob could be heard from the opposite side of the sardine can sized house. From the sound of it, he was having a difficult time getting Sarai to eat. She didn't know why it was so difficult for him to feed her. He knew the secret. Only keep the food she was eating in eye sight. If Ness ate any food infront of her, Sarai became curious and wanted a taste of what momma was eating.

She threw a tee and sweats on then meandered her way to the kitchen.

Jake was standing up, his back to her, urging Sarai to eat her carrots, but she was eyeing the pizza box on the countertop.

He tried reasoning with his daughter. "Look, you eat some carrots, I'll give you some pizza. That's the deal."

Ness laughed, he was speaking to Sarai as if she were an adult. She walked over to the pizza box and peeked inside. There were three slices missing. She spun around and leaned against the countertop's edge. "She's not gonna eat it. You were eating pizza in front of her."

Jacob look to Renesmee and took a firm tone with her. "We can't tip toe around her, she needs to understand we have rules."

Pulling herself onto the countertop, Ness's feet dangled high above the linoleum floors. She picked the pepperoni's of the pizza and ate them while, watching Jacob pop the steamed carrots in his mouth. Sarai then copied him and ate all her veggies. When she finished Jacob pulled the cheese from the pizza and gave her the bread to gnaw on. When she was perfectly content, he leaned against the countertop at Ness's side.

"We need to get a table."

She agreed, they couldn't keep eating standing up in the kitchen or at the coffee table. Taking a slice from the box, she uttered, "I can't believe you're feeding me pizza. As if I'm not fat enough."

He slapped her thigh before taking a slice for himself. "You look good with a little meat on your bones."

It went quiet as they ate. Each of them extensively eyed Sarah Kai eating. She was usually always cheery but when her parents were together, in the same room, Ness could tell she was profoundly happier. She had figure out their living arragements soon, beacuse she wasn't going to let Sarai grow up going from house to house.

Nessie's drooping and glossy eyes spoke to Jacob. Was she still feeling anxious?

"How do you feel?" he wondered, grabbing for another slice.

There was no way she could have known what he was speaking about. Was he questioning how full she was following dinner? Or was he referring to their sexual escapades? Maybe he was making an effort to discuss her schooling? Her work?

Still unsure, she chewed her food and asked, "About what?"

"You know… Your postpartum."

"Better. When I have my moments, I step away. I'll call you, or Rachel or Claire. And if I can't look at those photo albums, but I think the vitamins and medication really help," she added, "Seeing you helps too."

He swallowed his food and kissed her.

The family spent the evening in the nursery playing with Sarah Kai. Together Jacob and Renesmee gave her a bath and prepared her for sleep. As always, Jacob read from a book for her. He's done it since the day she was born except this time was different. Ness didn't watch from the sidelines or leave him to finish the nightly routine. She dressed Sarai up in her pajama's. The little one was already nodding off to sleep, but that didn't stop Ness from sitting on Jacob's lap, their daughter cradled in her arms.

When she was soundly asleep, they placed her in the crib and kissed her goodnight.

"Are you going to come to my grandpa's for Fourth of July?"

"I can, but we need to stop by Paul's cuz my sister is down."

"Becca? I haven't seen her since she ran away."

"No one has but I get to meet my nephew. Embry and Helen are coming too."

Ness cocked her head. "Real-ly?"

Jake lips curved up. He was pleased that his father had finally found a companion. "My dad invited her."

"Good for him."Billy Black asked a women out. Albeit, it was only a family function but, from what Ness knew about Billy, he wasn't a show stopper. He would be genuine and romantic, just like his son.

The following day was a blur. They headed over to Rachel and Paul's place. Sarai got to spend time with her grandfather, her aunts, uncles and cousins. Jacob met his second nephew, and Ness got reaquainted with Jake's sister Rebecca, whom caught the young parents doing the nasty in Jacob's car.

After lunch, they packed up and headed over to Grandpa Charlie's for the evening. The entire family had come, which was unusual to have the entire family together. Ness met two new cousins, a seven year old boy and four year old girl, that Rosalie and Emmett had adopted. They were awaiting news about a third child they planned on adopting. Jake and then men headed off to do some shooting, while the women finished grilling.

At around seven thirty, Jacob and Ness left for Port Angeles to see the fireworks.

They spread out a blanket on the lawn on a local park. Luckily, Sarai was wide awake and on all fours. They encourage her to crawl, but she couldn't quite get the hang of it. At nine o'clock there was an announcement that the firworks would be beginning. Jacob placed the little girl on his lap and pulled out a pair of oversized sound cancelling headphones from the diaper bag. He placed the oversized earmuffs over Sarai's ears.

Pictures were taken all day long, by Ness. So of course, she pulled out a camera and began snapping pictures of her two favorite people in her life. She even asked a bystandar to take a picture of her family as a whole. She figured it be great for Sarah Kai to have memorabilia from her childhood.

"Where'd you get those?" Ness questioned about the headphones.

"I asked your grandpa if I could borrow them."

Sarai didn't take a liking to the fireworks, and they decided to leave before the fireworks were even finished.

On the drive home, Ness took his hand in hers. She coudln't resist herself all day. Since her discovery, of being in love with him, she had to touch him. Ness tried to satisfy Jacob on the way home, but he wasn't comfortable with doing anything when Sarai was in the back seat. This was quite humorous to Ness. She's never known a guy to turn down a hand-job.

"You're seriously the best guy in the world."

Jake squeezed her hand. "Why's that?"

"I have a hundred reasons, but the first one that comes to mind is… you're an amazing father."

"Ya think?"

She shook her head, left to right. "I know."

"You're a good mom. Seriously, no expected you to take to being a mother so naturally."

The girl rolled her eyes at that. She hated herself for not living up to the title of good mom. Her hand slipped from his. "Those pills I take aren't necessarily natural."

He reached for her hand, his eyes darting between the road and Ness. "You're a good mom."

He could see her shaking her head. He repeated firmly, "You're a good mother Renesmee."

Not convinced, she replied,"Really?"

He smiled. "Really."

She could tell that he meant what he said. And as always his opinion of her meant the world. "Thank you."

"You've grown up a lot Ness."

Ness looked over her shoulder, at the backseat. Sarah Kai, was sleeping peacefully in her carseat. "I had to."

Recklessly, she unbuckled her seatbelt and leant over to kiss Jacob. "I love you."

He had to pull the car over to give her a dignified response. He cupped her face, and kissed her lightly. His tongue penetrated her mouth, making her want to reveal the explicit passion she had for him.

For the second time, he put an end to her advances. "I love you, but can we finish this at home? I wanna get Sarai home. Then we can finish this."

A huge grin broke out on Renesmee's face. "Alright."

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **The quote is from one of my favorite songs. It's called Heartbeats by The Knife. It's a song about a confused night of sex. Whether that be between best friends or complete strangers I don't know, but they fall in love. The opening lyrics are: "One night to be confused, One night to speed up truth..." I thought those specific lyrics applied to Renesmee, perfectly. Anyways, I strongly urge you to google the lyrics and listen to it on youtube. It's a song that oozes sex. Both live and studio versions are amazing.

Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter. It was written one way, then as I went to post it, I had to rearrange it. I dont know what happened to my writing, and I do apologize for it. I guess you can have off days when you write? Lately, more like the last few months, my writing has been shit. Oh well...HERE IT IS. I both LOVE and HATE this chapter. AS always.

**SPECIAL THANKS TO**: sharcbait, periwinkle rose, RaeTakesTheWorld, dead beautiful, ajzmom, muah, SAMI. JANE321, amicoco, Sarah Chartier, Breanna Lynn, Vianna1321, cocopucks, oltlfan23, nfanpepsi, Adwwa, msr709, JUSTaDAMNbook, nessiehugs, Mcsteamy is Mcmine, veronicamars101, EZeeBaby, WerewolfGirl316, dkgors, luv2beloved, gmb7064, Dreamcatcher94, mojojojo152, TwilightSy, Mrs. Jacob Black14, Jazboo, AWolfPackOfOne, polly2010, OrangieMonster, nj11, Kristen, jumpupanddown, SLM84, Tashay789, lena0123, Kari, NOelly, DubsDoll, kingdom89 and Dazzler916. If I left you out, let me know.

**REPLY TO ANONS**: _(**muah**)_My apologies, but I have been away from the computer. Yes, the chapter was done, but me, being me, I began to rearrange the entire plot of this chapter. It turned out better than I had originally planned. That, plus I've been busy with work, and apparently I've been doing well since I got a raise. ;) Let me know it was you who sent this message and I'll give you an extra-long preview to chapter 36. Again I am sorry. I must agree, four weeks since my last update is just ridiculous. MUCH LOVE! (_**anonymous again 2**)_Exactly_, _Rose said precisely what the audience was irritated with. As for Nahuel, I debated whether or not to create a new character, but obviously I chose not to. Eventually Jacob will get his revenge on Nahuel. He's never forgiven him for taking Ness away from him and hurting her. As you found out, Ness is less worried about others opinions of her. It was mentioned continuously because she's truly believed this. Like I've told many people, it's amazing how much power your own mind has. Anyways you called that out, and noticed it was fake. It was. (_**Breanna Lynn**)_ Yes, it was awful how Ness treated her own child, but that's the effect of postpartum depression. (_**Macy**)_Jacob and Kai scene…CHECK. Well, this wasn't that great of a daddy/daughter scene but the story isn't over. Stay tuned, there will be a gushing scene eventually. (_**jumpupanddown**) _Thanks for the reviewing, and I am so glad you're enjoying. (_**Kristin**) _Thanks for the baby review and showing support! (_**Kari**) _NESS HAD HER REVELATION! YES! YES! YES! You took the words out of my mouth. Realistic is my goal and a girl like Rensmee would –in real life- have a difficult time making the evolution from spoiled teen to as you said a single independent mother. Thanks a million for the review and support.

Remember if you come off anon, create on account I can send ya'll a preview to the next chapter.


	36. Choking on Pride

"_Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have."_

**Chapter 36 –Choking on Pride-**

(6 months old)

**E**arly Sunday morning, a warmth embraced Renesmee's body. Smoldering skin was compressed against her bare back, and a soft, steady breathe grazed the nape of her neck. A lofty smile came to form when she felt strong arms caged around her middle. There was a peculiar sense of comfort in the moment. Not the contentment one felt when sunshine hit the face, or the coziness of a blanket to thaw you on a winter's day. This was not even the normal comfort she had always felt with Jacob. It was sounder and more significant.

It was being in love.

In a jolt of uncertainty, Ness took a firm hold off the blankets edge. The duvet folded back as a dove's wing, revealing one of Jacob's arms clinging to her torso. The sight caused her to crack shy smile. This was last couple of days seemed completely unreal, which is why she physically needed to see those russet colored arms holding her close, protecting her and swallowing her in an appreciation she's never known.

Not used to the air outside the cover, pimples formed on her flush skin. Her nipples hardened. Quickly, she covered herself up with the comforter. The heat swallowed her whole, its solace forcing her to keep eyes shut. She complied, because if she was dreaming, she did not want to wake.

With the sweet revelation of being in love, she knew the moment she was clinging to, should last forever. But would it?

Fear entered Ness's soul. Nothing she's ever had lasted forever. The cushy life as a well to do doctor's daughter was ripped out from beneath her and the confidence she had within herself was long gone. She assumed she'd be the best damn mother that walked the face of the earth, but postpartum depression fucked up her chances at that. Everyday was touch and go. If it were not for Jacob, who knows how she would be handling motherhood. It's damn near definite that she wouldn't be able to afford it.

In addition to all these internal realizations, Ness knew that the era of Jacob remaining her best friend was –to some extent-done. Overnight, her views about him seemed to transform and amplify, yet remain the same. Could it truly be love? How so, when she couldn't' even explain the divinity of love? Could she define love? She concluded that she was ignorant to such passion. Though, Renesmee considered that if she was in love, it would be Jacob. How could it not be?

Suddenly, Ness had the sensation that her soul left her body. Even in Jacob's amorous clutches, she felt lonely. Desperately lonely. She was unsure how that could be possible.

With a craving to see his face, she wiggled from her side to face Jacob. It makes him stir, withdraw his hold on her and roll onto his back.

The lonesomeness screamed louder. She missed Jacob and he was only inches away from her. Tucking her hands beneath her face, she watched life pump through him with the rise and fall of his chest. The sight made her weepy. She blinked away the stinging and examined every atom that formed his face. She took in his profile and noticed everything, from the tip of his nose to his earlobes. He hadn't shaved in days and she could see the scuff form along his jawline and the stubble above his slightly parted lips. Kissable lips. She had an overpowering urge to kiss him, but choose to let him sleep.

The morning light seeped through the fibers of the window curtains casting an extremely faint glow upon his face, making everything more enchanting, almost dream like. Staring, she made a conscious effort to memorize every inch of his features.

She wondered if she should express her atypical feelings, but would the knowledge of mutual love ruin what they had? Ness did not want the sudden pressure of being in a relationship. She wanted things to stay as they were. Emotions were evolving naturally between she and Jacob, and in the here and now, she was satisfied. There was simply no need to ponder about their future, or their relationship status. It may spoil the present.

Ness sat up and hovered over Jacob admiring his features once more. Unable to resist any longer, she softly placed both of her hands on his cheeks and brushed her lips against his. After a few more hard-pressed kisses, a deep drone rippled through Jake's throat.

A nude Renesmee awoke the young man with echoes of kisses. How overjoyed Jacob was to know that he wasn't living in his imagination, or having a fulfilling dream. Naturally, her waist calls to him and he must obey. Wide awake and aware, he embraced her tightly, returning a kiss. He mumbled a good morning and she repeats his words then laid a passionate, lingering kiss on his chest.

She rested her head against his searing chest, ignoring his high temperature. It was to be expected. Over the years she noticed that Jacob tended to overheat.

Gazing down at her beautifully tired face, he witnesses a deep crease form in the middle of her eyebrows. It prompted him to ask, "What ya thinking about?"

She groaned with a splintering crack, "The impression I made on your sister yesterday."

A smile came to the boy's face. Jacob found the ordeal quite comical, but when Becca was around, things tended to become uncomfortable and confusing.

xXx

The weather was warmer than usual, but that didn't stop the young couple from making their own heat in the back seat of a Volks-wagon Rabbit. The fact that Jacob's entire family was only a few yards away celebrating Independence day didn't appear to trouble the young and -sort of- couple. Any hang ups they had about being caught in the backseat of a car were almost nonexistent.

Short of breath, Renesmee stumbled into the unoccupied converted barn first. Jacob followed, with a diaper bag slung over his shoulder, as his recent lay adjusted her dress and smoothed back her disheveled hair. He placed a quick kiss to the nape of her neck, triggering a solemn giggle to escape Ness's mouth.

A fussy Sarai had been left with Rach, while Renesmee "helped" Jacob find the diaper bag. The poor baby needed a binky to sooth her into a slumber, but when Rachel entered the kitchen empty handed Ness inquired about her daughter's where-abouts.

In a calm velvety tone, Rachel replied as she opened the refrigerator door, " Rebecca put her in Hanny's room."

Ness gave a sigh of relief. Although she knew Sarai was perfectly safe with any person at the party, there is a reason she left her baby in the care of her god mother. Rach's tranquil aura had the power to calm Sarai in a way Ness couldn't. Jacob and his sister both possesed that soothing power.

Stepping deeper into the kitchen, Jake questioned Rach. "She finally fell asleep?"

An invisible string tugged Ness towards him, shadowing him, moving as he moved. With her thumb and pointer finger, she delicately clasped the hem of his tee, fingers grazed his lower back through the fabric. Jake shivered. She always managed to make him shutter with her unexpected touches.

"Becca took her from me, held her for five seconds and," Rachel snaps her finger as she says, "she went out like a light." After pulling out a giant azure colored bowl full of macaroni salad, she peeled the Saran wrap from the top. Jake being Jake, he picked at the side dish with his fingers and dropped the noodles in his mouth. With a mouthful he tittered, "With Becca's hyperactive energy?"

Rach and Jacob exchanged knowing looks and a chuckle at his comment. Obviously it was a rhetorical question that Renesmee didn't fully comprehend. Which made complete sense, since she didn't really know or care for Jacob's older sister, and she was taking care of Sarai._ A complete stranger was tending to my daughter. _

Ashamed with herself, Ness slipped the diaper bag from Jake's shoulder and set it on the birch wood tabletop. A slight waft of guilt hit the mother. Was it selfish of her to abandon her daughter –so she could fornicate- when the little one needed to be consoled? Ness slide her hand into Jake's to ease her disheartened self.

"Where you talking about me?"

All three turned to find Rebecca, Jacob's other sister, who was every bit as beautiful as Rachel. Same full lips, long dark hair and high cheek bones. The only difference was their eye color and the faint mole Rebecca had beneath her left eye. Renesmee would be lying if she didn't say she was envious of her figure. Seriously, the girl had the muscle tone of an Olympian whereas Rach, had curves any woman would die for. A burst of insecurity spread through Ness.

Ness frowned. Not only did she feel inferior physically but years ago, Becca purposely intimidated Ness. Rebecca had always been a presence that couldn't be unheeded, but she always managed to make other's feel lower than dirt. There was several ways she expressed her dislike in Ness's presence. She would either, disregard Ness all together, or mutter comments that forced Ness to believe she was borderline insane. She got used to sticking her head in the sand when Jake's older sister came around. Although, there was one comment that she couldn't disregard.

Freshman year, after a volleyball game, Ness hitched a ride with the Black twins to meet up with Jacob later for a movie. There was chatter amongst Ness and Rachel, the kinder of the sisters, as usual. She began explaining her plans for the night when randomly Rebecca said, "Renesmee you're so clingy. Pretty soon my brother's gonna tired of you always being around_."_ Ness didn't want Jacob to push her away, because he was annoyed or bored with her. That statement pushed Ness into her first relationship, as well as her second and third. Absence did make the heart grow fonder, and she hoped time apart would hold their friendship together.

Rebecca strode over towards Jacob and Ness. It was evident the confidence she possessed in the way she strode. And for some reason, Ness let her hand slip from Jacob's. Almost as if she didn't want a soul to know, she and Jake got along. Easily, her action could have been misconstrued, but she didn't want Rebecca to see that she was still clingy.

"Yeah so?" Jake replied with a cocky grin.

Rebecca's gravelly voice chuckled, as she pulled her sibling into a hug. "Little brother, you're not so little anymore."

"I eat my vegetables," He laughed, "How are you Bec?"

"Good, I just put your little girl down for a nap, she looks exactly like you. Which is odd, because she's so cute and you're...You" She let out a boisterous laugh, and reveal a contagious smile that was mere identical to Jacob's_._

"I could say the same for your kid."

By now and against Renesmee's wishes, Rachel had exited the kitchen. Internally, she groaned. She hated being around Rebecca.

Brother and sister must have failed to remember Ness's presence. For a few minutes, Ness stood awkwardly at Jacob's side listening and staring at her slip-on's as the siblings conversed about the evolution of their adult lives. The entire conversation was carried out in playful banter. Rebecca's voice was naturally loud and fun. Her being seemingly happy was new.

As she listened to the pitch of Rebecca's tone, Ness suddenly understood Jacob's and Rachel's earlier comment. They knew Rebecca better than Ness ever had known. All around, her edges were rough, unlike Rachel's who has a hypnotic warmth that could pacify any person.

Endless minutes ticked by, until Rebecca glanced over at Ness with her chocolate brown eyes. "Jake, were you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?"

"You know Renesmee."

"Yeah but we've never officially met," she countered with a sickeningly sweet striking smile, "Besides the last time I saw you, you were fourteen, fifteen?"

Ness thought it over. "Fourteen sounds right."

It had been some time, nearly five years, since their last encounter. Back then she was less kind and accepting. So, it was odd that she went for a round of Q and A with Ness. If she was not mistaking, Becca was taking a genuine interest in her life.

_Wolf in sheep's clothing_, Ness thought.

Rebecca merrily chatted away, until she registered that Jacob's hand slipped around Ness's waist. How could it be ignored? His large hands exerted pressure at her hipbone, easing her body intimately to his side.

" How long have you guys been dating?"

Suddenly the conversation switched from the weather comparison between Hawaii and La Push to the relationship status between Jacob and Renesmee.

While removing his arm from her waist, Ness took a quick glance at Jacob. "We're not, uhm..."

"We," he started as he turned to Ness. She had her head bowed in an indecipherable pose. He couldn't tell if she was ashamed, embarrassed or sad. He'd ask about it later. "We're, just friends," He stated.

"And you happen to have a kid together?" Rebecca probed, seemingly doubtful about Jake's comment.

The duo fidgeted and gave no reply.

Becca shrugged. " I guess it happens. Were you trying to conceive another?"

One of Jacob's brows raised "No. We don't need another kid, Bec."

Silent at his side, Ness's palm found her belly. Having another kid sounded insane and a tad appealing. Quickly, she removed her hand. Was she that stupid? Another child with Jacob shouldn't be an attractive idea. _That's stupid. _Ness looked at Rebecca with distaste._ She's stupid. _

"I wouldn't think so, but you use protection right?"

"Uhm, we're not," Ness glanced over at Jacob, her mouth open like a dead carp. Finishing her sentenced seemed almost impossible. She didn't actually want to deny it. She should, but she couldn't.

Renesmee's eyes repetitively scanned between his moist lips, and his caramel eyes. If she was trying to hide their dirty little secret, she sucked at it. Jacob turned away from the rather obvious young women and casually stated to his sister, "We're not having sex."

With a roll of her eyes, and a snap of her wrist, Rebecca called his bluff. "Oh please. You two aren't exactly inconspicuous."

"Inconspicuous?" Ness muttered.

Becca nodded with a devious grin. She must be very amused with herself.

The couple was statues, frozen in bewilderment. Jacob delved into his mind. Earlier, in the backseat, he was certain the coast was clear.

Ness on the other hand glared on at Rebecca as she continued, "The hugging and kissing sort of make you both look chummy with one another. Call it, puppy love if you will but, the growling like bears in the backseat of a car makes me think otherwise."

In a hushed tone, Ness said, "You gotta be fuckin' me?" _She saw us! She saw us!_

"Oh that's Jacob's job," she laughed, " I tell ya, I have never seen a car rock like that before. From the looks of it, you two are way past the puppy love stage. Seriously, everyone heard."

By now, Renesmee clenched onto Jacob's arm her face buried into his shoulder. She was on the verge of tears from the humility. What did she expect from Rebecca Black? She always managed to abash someone in some way.

"I'm joking, Renesmee I'm joking," Becca cackled coming to Ness's side and gently patting her shoulder, " I'm the only one that saw."

All oxygen in her lungs had vaporized. She huffed, mortified, "Saw?"

" I ran to the grocer for some ice, because my brilliant sister forgot to get some, and when I came back I saw mom's old car rocking like a damn boat during a storm. If you don't want people knowing you guys should try to be a bit more discreet."

Rebecca giggled to herself. Jacob took the entire conversation as a playful hazing but Ness didn't appreciate it.

xXx

Ness lied in Jacob's arms confused and worried about the ordeal. She also, officially hated Rebecca Black-Dewitt.

"Why are you thinking 'bout that?"

Renesmee sort of shrugged, but she couldn't help but think of the gossip that may have been spreading around town. It wasn't a very big town after all. It came to the point where her childless aunt Rosalie heard hearsay and felt the need to spread the news to the rest of the family. Everyone had finally forgot about Ness's existence all together, and she didn't want Rebecca spreading gossip about her and Jake. As if her having a child at an early age didn't throw her into the easy catagory, her continuing a sexual relationship with Jacob would only coincide with old gossip.

"Do you think she'll tell anyone?"

"No, not Becca. Why?"

"I guess, cuz I don't want anyone to know, that, that we've…" Her words trailed off. Saying she wanted no one to know could give the impression that she was ashamed of ever having sex with Jacob. And that wasn't true.

Jacob pressed his fingers through Ness's soft hair. "What does it matter if anyone knows?"

"I guess it doesn't, but the world doesn't need to know. I mean, I don't want comments or questions about us."'

With her fingertips, Ness began tracing shapes on Jake's strong chest, completely unaware of his wounded expression.

"Why's that?" he asked.

"My sex life has always been the topic of high school gossip-"

He grabbed her pointer finger, ceasing her shape tracing and cut her off, " We're not in high school anymore, and none of it was true."

"I know," she said, laying comfortably in Jacob's arms. He beautifully laced their fingers together, linking and entwining their souls together. The loneliness she felt earlier was gone with innocent and intimate touch. The whole world was at her fingertips, and his skin flesh with hers. She could sense her cheeks becoming rosy and her heart pounding like a drum. It felt like he had just made love to her, and all he did was grab her hand.

Lifting her head to find his earnest eyes, she croaked, "But no one needs to know we're having sex. It's none of their damn business."

He held her firmer. Drawing the skin of their chests together, forcing her face to find a home in the crook of his neck.

"You plan on having sex with me often." The playful comment tickled her ear. A buzzing of a fly would have been louder, though not as seductive.

Urges push their way to the forefront of her mind. Her dainty arms found their way around his neck and her legs sat astride his waist. "Not if you don't keep your mouth shut. If word gets around town-"

He pressed his lips to hers, her sentence short. "You make it sound like we're murdering people. Admit it, it's fun."

The slightest smirk graced her face. "A little, I just think it should be between us though. I don't want to have to explain, this to people."

He affirmed with a kiss. "Sure, sure."

For now, concealing their sexual relationship wouldn't be a problem. Only because he had finally had Renesmee in a way he had always wanted her. More than a friend, but less than a boyfriend was alright for the time being.

At Ness's insistence, their inhibitions quickly unraveled. Ness's nails dig into Jacob's shoulder blades. Following love bites and heavy breathing, both gradually reached their climaxes.

As they lazed around, a pang of guilt hit the girl. They had just finished an intense session of love making and she knew that was no way to spend a Sunday morning.

The ding of the doorbell sounded through the small home.

"Are you kidding me?" Ness grumbled.

Jake planted a kiss on her cheek before getting up from bed and putting a pair of gym shorts on. Ness's eyes followed Jacob as he stepped out of the room.

Following a good stretch, Ness got up from the comfort of her bed. She put on a shirt that drowned her and went off to see what that man was up to, and if her daughter up.

Tired, yet aware, Ness padded her way down the hall. The cold floor brushed at the bottom of her feet. She peeked in on Sarai, who was snuggled up against the edge of the crib and sleeping soundly, which was extremely rare. There was a spark of curiosity in the young mother. If she wasn't mistake, Sarah Kai only slept through an entire night when Jacob put her to bed. _Makes sense_, she thought. Ness found it easier to find sleep when he was lying beside her.

Gently, Ness rested her palm on the babe's back. All the mom wanted to feel her baby breathing. The light expansion of the little ribs provided proof that her lungs reeled with breath. There was a joyful thought, that she was lucky enough to have a daughter who lived, that was healthy. Renesmee's mind roamed with wistful memories. Some happy and others sad, but she could see that she was blessed that Jacob was always by her side. She knew Sarah Kai deserved such a doting father.

For a split second, it made her think of the devoted father she once had.

Habitually she ignored the thought, and tucked her grief away in one of her minds many cabinets. From time to time, she'd find herself delving into these drawers, finding nostalgic recollection but in some way always stumbling upon the man she used to call daddy. She wishes she could quit finding his presence and forget about his objection towards her choices_. One day, he'll be eating his words. _That was her last thought on the subject.

Fighting the urge to adjust Sarai's position, she exited the nursery. Why wake her when she's perfectly content cuddling up against the soft crib bumper?

When she entered the living room, she could hear the click of the front door. The morning's nippy air oozed from open door, stinging at her legs. It swiftly disappeared but left her legs covered in goose bumps. As she ran her small hands through her hair, she yawned, "Jake, who was it? "

The vocal cords she had mere seconds ago, had been stolen from her throat. Before her stood a tall and slender man, with piercing green eyes and a dense five o'clock shadow. His blank gaze mirrored his daughter's but somehow he found words.

"Good morning," he said. It was casual, as usual. Renesmee couldn't believe her father remained to appear so unaffected by their strained state.

Suddenly, very aware of her scant appearance, she tugged at the hem of her tee. Jacob breezed by her, and disappeared down the hallway.

Acting as composed as possible, she addressed him. "Dad? W-what, what are you doing here?"

"I came to visit you and my granddaughter," he answered, "but I see I've come at an inopportune moment."

"Uhm, no I'll go get Sarai." Ness spun on her heals and thought, _And put pants on._

When she entered her room, Jacob was already half dressed in a fitted pair of jeans, a tan v-neck shirt and a gray socks.

"What the hell did you let him in for?" she growled.

He pushed a leather belt through the belt loops and calmly stated, "I wasn't gonna tell him to leave."

Taking a que from Jacob, she kept her voice low and hunted for clothes."You could have not answered the door."

After hastily buckled his belt and turned to Renesmee, slightly confused and curious. Jake asked,"Is that what you've been doing?"

A loud thump sounded when she slammed the drawer. As Ness slipped into a pair of underwear and wedged herself into a pair of skin tight dark jeans, she quietly admitted, "Only twice."

Shaking his head in disapproval, Jake grabbed his boots from the corner of the room, and shoved his wallet into his back pocket. He sat on the bed and began slipping on his boots when he heard Ness whimper, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go see my dad for a bit."

"No," she hissed, "don't leave me alone with him."

Once he tied his boots, he stood from the bed to find pleading eyes begging for him to stay. However, Jacob wasn't going to continue to support the grudge Ness was holding against her father. If he could find a way to see past Edward's pig headedness, Renesmee should as well. Jacob coululd understand that in a moment of stress people lose their heads, and their words. Edward was merely reacting. Well, overreacting.

Jake put his hand on her shoulder. "Avoiding him isn't going to solve anything."

"We only have a few more hours together," she announced in a seductive drone, stepping closer and planting a lust driven kiss on his lips.

"Please, please just send him away," she requested as she swathed her arms around him and planting kisses along his jugular. A hand ran across his crotch region and the kisses continued, enticing him to act of his urges. He felt his hands gravitating towards her hips. She was tempting him to give into her. Though, he didn't want to give in.

"He can come back later," she murmured, "Tell him I'm feeling ill."

He pulled his head back, and glanced down at Renesmee. "You want me to take Sarai?"

Renesmee backed off, knowing she lost the fight. In defeat, she rubbed her head. "No, I guess I should let her visit with him. Can you get her dressed?"

"Yeah."

Ness rolled her eyes, as he left. She hurriedly put on a bra, black undershirt and dressed in a lose fitted tee that looked moth bitten. Hurriedly, she ruffled her bangs and threw her hair up into a bird nest of a bun. She headed towards ther nursery. Her father was visible from the hallway, but she chose to ignore him as long as possible.

She stepped in Sarai's room, to hear Jake chatting to the baby.

Cheerfully, he lifted his daughter from her crib. Holding her close he kissed her cheeks saying, "There all dressed."

"Don't be gone long," Ness solicited in her statement in such a way that almost changed Jacob's mind. She sounded heartbroken.

But he disregarded it. "I'll be back by nine."

"What time is it now?"

"Almost eight."

A sigh escaped Renesmee. What the hell was Edward doing here so early? Inside, she was seething but too tired to outwardly appear so. Because of Edward she was being separated from Jacob. Even if it will be only an hour, it was an hour with him that she would never get back. It made her miserable to the point where she swore she might cry.

Together they walked down the hallway to the bantam size of a living room.

Jake kissed his daughter's cheek. "I'll be back Kai-Kai."

As he handed the baby over to Ness. With the palm of his hand on the small of her back, he leaned in kissing her cheek. "See ya."

Sarai began to fuss, her little lip quivered and she whimpered. knowing her little one needed to eat, Ness unconsciously rushed him off, quicklcy saying, "Bye."

When the door clicked shut, she turned to find her father on the couch. Ness felt uneasy. Having Edward in her home was an anomaly. Since she had moved into the small duplex almost a year ago her father hadn't stepped foot in her home. Not that he hadn't tried, but because she wouldn't allow it. There were a couple of occasions where he had shown up uninvited. Having a soft spot in her heart for her father, Ness always wanted to invite him in. Though, with Sarai on her hip, she couldn't help but recall when he had demanded she have an abortion, or that he had accused Jacob of trapping her, and staking his claim through pregnancy.

That reason alone, made it easy for her to not answer the door when he rang, or to snub him when he was with Bella. He had attacked the two people she loved most in this world and that wasn't something she couldn't easily overlook.

"He's here awfully early."

In monotone Ness recounted, "So are you."

"How often does he stay here?"

"Whenever he's down from Seattle."

"I thought he stayed with Billy?"

"No, he stays here. He has that right."

The conversation was verbalized swiftly and heated. Edward recognized it. Through her argumentative tone, he saw there was still a hint of immaturity in his Renesmee. It disappointed him.

"How so?" he wondered.

"He's Sarah Kai's father. The more time he can spend with her the better."

Still hovering by the front door, Renesmee stood silent. Her eyes remained either cast down or at the baby girl on her hip. Sarai began flailing about, and whimpering. Knowing she had to get her breakfast, Ness turned to her father and requested, "Can you hold her while I get her breakfast?"

"Sure," he answered, sitting on the small couch, stretching his arms out to hold his granddaughter. It was a rare occurence in which he got to do so. Usually, it was only when Bella and he were home on a workday babysitting while Renesmee was working.

She heated up a homemade cereal made from oatmeal. Rachel had recently shown her how to make home made cerals from wholegrains. In Ness's head it made more sense to feed her daughter a healthier option, rather than that commercial instant rice stuff. She had the oats ground down to dust in a coffee grinder, and then added water. The mixture was brought to a boil in a saucepan and she continually had to whisk it until it was cooked. Which took about ten minutes.

As she whisked, Edward could be heard from the living room, cooing and verbalizing his affection to Sarah Kai. He sounded like he was in love, as if he were a loving grandfather. He was. Although, it pained her to admit that he was a good man. Even if she was mad at him.

Renesmee scooped the gunk into a small bowl and secured a baby spoon. She walked into the living room with the food and immediately said, "She's underweight."

Annoyed, she shook her head. Edward was to busy playing with the baby jumping on his knees to see her irritation.

With the spoon, she mixed the cereal. "Yeah, sometimes she refuses to eat a thing. But her reflux has a lot to do with her weight."

"Does she still get very fussy?"

"On occasion," she said sitting on the coffe table across from her father, " Usually when she's with me, but she's quite appeased with Jacob. She's been less fussy since she started eating cereals."

Sarah Kai was settled into a sitting position on grandpa Edward's lap while momma feed her.

"How's school?"

The response from the girl was a lifeless one. "Fine."

"You've been working a lot this last year?"

His daughter gave a nod. Nothing more.

"How's Peter been treating you?"

"Well."

Since she was quite annoyed with Peter Bankwell she didn't have much to say. The physical therapist was supposedly moving his practice to Seattle, but there was complications with the current physical therapist at the Seattle office was second guessing his decision to sell his practice. Just the thought of it made Ness seeth. She decided to take Mr. Bankwell up on his offer and move up to Seattle to get the office settled. And the only reason for that decision was to be closer to Jacob.

Edward could feel her hostile vibrations. He understood but the argument had happened over a year ago, and it was time to move forward.

There was nothing but silence between father and daughter. Renesmee put her sole attention of feeding Sarai and pretended Edward was the high chair holding her. She really had no words for her father.

When Sarah Kai had finished eating, Ness took her from Edward and began to pat her back. She set the baby on her lap and contined to pat her back.

Edward interupted, "You don't have to burp her any longer."

Renesmee could feel her entire body tense up. Her entire life, he had told her what to do, how to life and she never spoke up when she disagreed. She felt like he was telling her how to parent, and quite frakly, she didn't think it was any of his business. Ness looked up at Edward. "Thank you but, she's had reflux since she was born, I think it's best I burp her."

Once the baby burped Ness positioned her on her hip, picked up the dirty bowl and went into the kitchen.

Edward could sense that his daughter was peeved with him. He wasn't entirely sure why other than what he had done all those months ago. He knew it was time to address it.

Ness spead out a large blanket on the wood floors to set up a spot where Sarai could play. She sat on the blanket with her daughter and she spread out a few plush toys. All while disregarding her father.

Edward was determined to break down the wall his daughter had built up. It was time to tackle the tough subject of their fallout. "I don't know if I can be sensitive with what I'm about to say..."

Renesmee's head snapped up. She looked at her father with an expression of puzzlement.

Edward continued, "...Do you know why I kicked you out?"

"Because I got pregnant. Because I didn't have an abortion."

She came up with the answer awfully fast. He nodded, although he didn't agree. "It may seem that way, but no."

She raised a brow. "Coulda fooled me."

" I tend to make irrational decisions when I'm distraught."

"Like leaving mom when she got pregnant." She threw that comment out to spite him. It was cruel as a knife's blade in his back, but he took it.

"Yes, like leaving your mother when she got pregnant... and kicking you out."

"Are you apologizing?"

"Not, necessarily. Although I feel awful, I'm glad I kicked you out."

With a huff, she rolled her eyes. It was only natural for some immaturity to come out.

Edward watched as his daughter tended to her own daughter. Any ounce of selfishness she once had was gone. She handled motherhood better than he assumed she would, and she did it all on her own. He was proud of her.

He elaborated why he was glad he kicked Renesmee out. "If you stayed home, your mother and I would have kept babying you. You wouldn't be the strong, hardworking, caring, _mother_ you are today. I'm proud of you."

She dimly smirked. If Edward were to blink, he may have missed it.

"Thanks. I'm proud of me too."

Suddenly, he felt the need to explain himself. Maybe she would be able to understand why he had reacted negatively to her teenage pregnancy. He let out a winded sign before speaking. "Your mother and I did things wrong. We brought you home from the hospital and we knew we had to change you, bath you and feed you. All the obvious things that came with having a baby we knew, but we didn't discuss discipline or rules… We never really disgusted how we would raise you. We just, let it be. My point is, we were just there and we ended up spoiling you along the way. Probably because we felt guilty. "

Ness's ears perked up, and she was alert. "Guilty for what?"

" For bringing you into a unstable life. Being shuffled around, never seeing your mother and I in the same room for more than minutes at a time. At least for the first two years of your life your grandparents supported us a hundred and fifty percent. I'm sorry for not accepting your pregnancy sooner and supporting you the way a father should have."

In amusement he watched as his grandaughter tried to escape the comfort of the blanket by crawling away. Ness snatched up her legs and pulled her back. Sarai glided along with the blanket closer to Ness. The action made the baby giggle in delight.

Edward laughed along with Ness and Sarai. "Sometimes I think of the time I lost with you, because I had to volunteer at the hospital or study for my MCAT's and your mother worked fifty hour weeks, took weekend courses. We missed you growing up."

"No, you didn't," she disagreed as she made sure Sarai didn't crawl to far away, "You guys were always there."

"Not really. We weren't always mentally there. We were too busy to sit back and watch you grow up. I didn't want to see you squander time with Sarah Kai because you had to work, because you had to go to school or whatever else might come up. That's why I suggested the," he couldn't say abortion, it shamed him to know he urged such a devious deed, " It was the first thing I could think of that would make it possible for everything go back to normal for, not only me but you, for your mother, even Jacob."

"There is adoption."

" There is, but you're like your mother. She would have never given you up, even if it was an air tight plan."

The way her father had spoken, made it seem as though adoption had been an option for him once before. And her being an only child meant he considered to place her up for adoption.

Ness picked up Sarai and placed her on her lap and gave her a teething ring. She then asked, "You asked mom to put me up for adoption?"

"When you were born, I never knew I could love something so much and I wanted you to have the greatest life any child could have, but I wanted your mother to succeed too. She had a passionate hatred for Forks and I didn't want her to feel stuck. I felt I needed to ask her if she felt adoption was a smart choice for her. We were only sixteen after all. But she said no, you were half of me, and she could never be separated from you, or from me ever again. She had forgiven me for escaping to Alaska, and I didn't even have to ask. From that very second, I knew I would never leave her side and I'd do everything I could to provide for you both. I also learned how your mother didn't handle my absence very well." Edward literally shivered when he stated, "It's a haunting thought. I never should have left."

He then began to daze off in thought. His brows pushed together and his green eyes fermented in remorse. Ness felt it best be to let him sort out his thoughts.

"It's hard to watch you have to fight," he finally said, "You're mother and I had each other, and you, you're doing this alone. It's not an easy thing for me to stomach."

"I'm not doing this on my own. Mom, and Jake's sister, Rachel, help me. Grandma Esme and Grandma Sue do too. And Jacob," she stopped speaking because she was at a lost for words. When it came to Jacob she had this bubbling gratitude for that man.

Edward could see the sparkle in her eye. She had always got that doe eyed look when she thought of Jacob.

She preceded, "Despite him being in Seattle and everything, he's just more than, I could have ever hoped for. He's the reason Sarai and I have a roof over our head. He's the reason we eat. We have the necessities."

Although Edward liked knowing his daughter was taken care of, he didn't like knowing that money was a problem. He felt she deserved much more than the necessities. He didn't give it much thought when he blurted, "I would like it if you came home."

Renesmee sneered_. There he goes again, ordering me around._ Not approving of her father's order, she questioned it. "Are you asking me, or telling me?"

Recognizing his tone, he corrected himself. "Would you like to come home?"

"No." Her answer was defininte.

"No?" he retorted, baffled at how final her reply was.

"No. Right now I'm, I'm really happy with the way things are going with me and Jacob. When he comes home it's like we're a family. I swear, I feel Sarai's happier when we're all together."

Edward merely nodded, understanding what his daughter meant. There was a point in his relationship with Bella in which they lived apart, but when they were all together, it felt right. Normal. Perfect.

"Why don't you like Jacob?"

That question was out of the clear blue and Edward wasn't sure what to say. "What makes you think I don't?"

"Uhm, maybe because the way you reacted _that _night."

"He betrayed my trust."

"And you didn't do that to me?" Ness's retort was sly and cutting. Edward would be lying if he said his daughter's words did not affect him. There had been a point in his relationship with Renesmee, where the communication has reduced to nothing. This was when he asked Jacob to begin playing the middleman position. It was selfish, but it was the only way the father felt he could still be a part of his daughter's life. Overall, Edward knew it was wrong.

"Could you ever forgive me?"

Ness looked down at her little girl. If she ever made a mistake with Sarah Kai she hope that she would forgive her. "Yeah, but what about Jake?"

"I've apologized to him, but you have to understand why I acted the way I did-"

"Don't try to justify yourself," Her words cut through his statement, the once calm tone turned protectively acidic, " because there is no excuse for how you treated him. You made a horrible assumption that night, and all he was trying to be responsible and take full accountability for his mistake."

"Renesmee-"

SHe wouldn't let him get a word in. "And you had the audacity to accused him of trying to trap me. That's such a greedy thing to do, and if you haven't noticed by now Jacob isn't greedy. He's one of the most selfless people either of us know. While he helps me the best he can, he still helps Billy out and on top of that, he's trying to find the money to pay Emmett back. I mean thank God he won our lawsuit because I don't know where the money would come from to pay for Sarai's medical bills. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for her next check-up."

"Renesmee I gave you a credit card."

"Yeah but then I'd owe you. I don't want to _owe_ you or anyone anything."

"You wouldn't owe me a thing. I love you and I want to help."

"I don't want your help," she whined, "That night, you said I was too immature and ignorant to have a baby-"

"You've grown love."

"Jacob agreed with you. I told him you said that, and he agreed. He said I wasn't ready for motherhood. I went into this trying to prove you wrong but really I, I want to show Jacob I can do this, without anyone's help. Financially at least. I hate taking money from him, and I don't want to take money from you. I feel guilty enough, like I'm Jake's burden but," she gazed down at an oblivious Sarai who flung around a small stuffed animal, "she needs it and if I'm required to get help from anyone, it only feels right asking Jake, because…I mean it's his daughter."

"I'm always here Ness. Always. I am sorry for the way things escaladed."

She shrugged. "It's the past."

Relief. Edward was consumed with relief. His soul let out a sigh. "If you need anything, ask."

"We've been doin fine. Thanks though."

Soon after, Ness and Sarai walked Edward out to his car.

He hugged her. "I love you Renesmee."

Cautiously, she stepped into his hug and recipricated with her free arm. "I love you daddy."

He said his farewell to Sarai and opened his car door. Before he went to slide in the Volvo, he grumbled, "Oh."

It caught her attention, and she could see he was hesitating with something.

"Are you dating?"

Her answer was almost immediate. "Jacob?"

"No. Generally."

"Uhm," she muttered as her daughter tugged at her ear. The silver stud earring, shimmered in the rare Washington sun, attracting the attention of the baby. She removed Sarai's hand from her ear and continued, "No. No. I don't see the point."

"That's wise. You should hold off on dating and marriage until Sarah Kai's older."

"I guess," she came closer to her father's Volvo XC60. To build the open relationship they once had, she choose to confide in him the way she always had, "but sometimes I wonder if I should try with Jacob. I mean, he's Sarai's father."

"A child is no reason to date someone, nor marry them. Nonetheless, you've never done well with dating."

She nodded, wholly disappointed in his general answer. "I know." Sarai, tugged at her ear again. "Ow."

"I'll see you later."

"Bye."

xXx

Jacob went over to his father's house to visit while Ness and Edward talked out their problems. He rang on the doorbell, but no one had answered. Billy's old Chevy Silverado was parked on the side of the house, which meant his father must have been home. Jacob pounded on the door, slightly worried.

Billy had recently changed the old locks and had yet to give his son a copy. Anxiously Jake called the house phone. He heard it ring until he caught the answering machine. He continued to bang on the door as he dialed his father's cell. It rang a few times until at long last Billy answered. Jake cursed his father. He questioned where he could have gone to without his truck, only to find out he and Embry's mother Helen, had went to some outdoor expo in Seattle.

He could breath easier knowing his father wasn't lying dead in his bedroom floor. He was also curious as to why Billy and Helen had recently been hanging around one another. Jacob had known Helen for most of his life, and they've never hung out before.

Jacob didn't push the topic, but he was certain he would bug his father about it later.

Since his father wasn't home he had some time to kill. He stopped by the Fork's Coffee Shop with his America History notes. He intently studied the dates and events as he had a few cups of coffee. At eight forty, Jake ordered some breakfast to go, to bring back to his little family. When the order was finished, he packed up his notes, paid the bill and headed home.

Renesmee sat sideways on the couch, her legs folded and her feet tucked beneath her. Sarai was facing her and happily played patty cake with her momma. At nine o'clock on the dot Jacob walked through the door. He kissed her and set the food down on the coffee table. The scent of mapled syrup and bacon filled the home.

Jacob kissed Ness once more, causing her to have an outer body experience. She sucked in a breath. A kiss had never made her feel light headed before.

He grabbed Sarai and insisted they eat before their meal became cold.

As they ate Jake curiously asked, "How'd it go?"

"He asked me to move back home."

"Are you going to?"

"No."

"Why not? Things will be so much easier on you."

Setting her plastic fork down, Ness looked over at Jacob. He had Sarai on his lap. Ness grabbed her daughter's chubby little hand and said, "If I move back in with my parents, it'll never be just you, me and Sarai."

"If that's what you want, then you should just move to Seattle with me."

"I don't know?" Ness came to her feet and grabbed her food, " Don't you think moving 'll be overwhelming for Sarai?"

She went into the kitchen with Jacob trailing behind her with Kai Kai in tote. He advised,"No, it'll be more overwhelming when she's older or once she's in school. If you move now she'll be accustomed to seeing us both rather than mommy all the time and daddy once a week."

"But Jake-"

"Ness," he snarled, "I don't want to hear any more excuses."

Jacob pivoted on his heel disappearing from the kitchen.

Scowling at Jake's indignation, Ness followed, imploring for him to understand her view. "They're not excuses. I have to worry about my daughter."

He was shuting the nursery door, when Ness caught up to him.

"_Our_ daughter belongs with both of us. I think she should see me more than once a week," his harsh tone softened, "I want Sarai closer to me. It hurts to be away from her and I hate being far from you."

She didn't want to break the news that the move to Seattle might not be possible, but she had to say something.

" I miss you too, but I still don't have start up."

"You're fucking complicated."

Jacob's sudden annoyance hit Ness, making her unconsciously jolt backwards in confusion. "What?"

" You're making everything hard for yourself, you know that?"

"No, I-I," she stumbled through her words.

The shock of his harshness seeped in and before she had time to understand it he shouted, "And you're making things difficult for me!"

Renesmee was taken back and completely puzzled by his sudden mood change. If he was going to be mad at her, he needed to explicate the exact reasons he was upset with her.

Not knowing what caused his aggravation, Ness chose to let the hot head cool off. He packed his things, and Ness decided to make him a sandwich for road.

A few minutes later Ness could hear Jake stormed through living room and out the front door. Ness hurriedly placed turkey, avocado, spinach, provalone cheese and mustard on a bagette roll she had and wrapped it in foil. Not sure if he was planning to saying goodbye, she rushed outside.

She found him leaning against the Rabbit with folded arms. The sight gave her a sense of nostalgia. Renesmee had seen this brooding pose countless times.

She approached Jake cautiously. "I figured you'll probably get hungry on your drive"

Jacob reached out, taking hold of the sandwich. "Thanks."

He attempted to smile at her, but a solemn expression remained on her face. She looked uncomfortable.

With a suprising tenderness, he apologized, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

She kept her eyes on her feet, and lifted her left should in a partial shrug. "It's okay. I-I kinda do complicate things, not purposely. I just," Ness paused unsure what she should say. " I have so much running through my head, and I have work and school and Sarai."

Jacob tossed the sandwich into the passenger seat as he listened to her ramble on. He grabbed her shoulders saying, "I know, so do I. And on top of all that, I have you to worry about."

"_Don't _ worry about me."

He brought his hand to her cheek. "I'll always worry about you."

Gawking up into Jake's eyes, she wondered, "Why? I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

"I never said you weren't, but I'll always worry because you're you..."

Deep in thought, he began caressing her cheek, and gliding his thumb across her lips.

Ness felt herself slip. Her heart pounded. Her pulse raced. Her hands latched onto the front of his shirt.

"...and you have Sarah Kai with you, and your postpartum. Things like that."

She released his shirt._What a way to ruin a fuckin' moment. N_ess snapped, "I take my medication."

"I never said you didn't. I know you take care of yourself."

She bit back. "Then don't worry about me."

He pulled out his wallet and took out a check he had written before he drove down from Seattle. He was getting his last royalty payments from the jersey Oregon State sold at the college ball games. Whenever he received a new check he would silently slip the extra cash to Ness, whether it be groceries or him making a partial rent payment to the landlord. He had to get creative with how to spend the money on Ness without her actually knowing he was spenging the money on her. Or he would spend it and there was nothing Ness could do about it. This time it was around three hundred, and that's how much he had written on the check to Ness.

"Here."

Ness glanced down at the piece of paper in his hand. "What's this?"

"A check."

"For what?"

"The rent, or whatever else you need it for."

Every time he threw money at her, it reminded her of how incompetent she really was and of what an obligation she was. All that money he handed over to he wasted. Jacob could have bought himself a nice car, or helped Billy. If he quit his job all together, he'd have more time for studying and football. Ness knew she could manage, him quitting the garage would free up his time. He would be able to come home more often. And if she had to move back in with her parents, she would do it.

He shouldn't have to sacrific his time, for something that was never his idea. Even if he had wanted it, she pushed him into having sex with her that first time.

None of the complications in his life would exist if she could just control her horomones.

Renesmee eyed the check in his hand. She frowned. "I'm gonna get Sarai.."

His eyes followed her as she walked through the doorway. _That woman is so stubborn_.

She headed straight towards the medicine cabinet, and dry swallowed a Sertraline pill. She had forgotten her medication today and it could explain the reason she had a terrible desire to slap Jacob in the face. Once she calmed herself, she fetched Sarai and held her for a minute.

The angelic baby, was a tool to sooth Ness.

She came out of the room to find Jacob waiting inside the house.

He pressed his lips to her cheek and reached out for his daughter. "Just consider moving. Whether it's with me, or your parents. Can you do that much for me?"

She nodded. "I'll have to look into a few things and I'm not sure what Mr. Bankwell's plans are."

"Well," Jake pondered as he stepped through the threshold of the front door, "we can work things out. Let me know and we'll go look at places."

Togther they stood on the rickety old deck. Jake made a comment about how old it was, and how it should be replaecd. He then preceeded to try to sway Ness into moving with a comment about Sarai would be walking soon, and she could seriously hurt herself on the deck. And for a final time, he brought up the possibility of them looking at places they could rent together.

"Maybe. You should probably go if you want to get there before your practice."

"Yeah. I love you Kai Kai," he kissed the little one's chubby little cheeks and turned to Ness, "I love you too."

"I love you," she replied. Her heartstrings were being yanked in a hundred directions. She didn't want Jacob to leave.

"It really would be nice to see you both every day, and maybe I'll get to see her first steps and hear her first words. I don't want to miss that."

"I don't want you to miss that either."

He fixedly stared at the baby in his arms. "If you move out there with me, I won't miss anything."

"I have a feeling she only does things for you. You're the first person she smiled at. You're the one that helped her stay sitting up and she rolled over the first time for you. I missed out on all that, and I'm here with her every day."

Jacob couldn't help but smile. "You're right."

" What about?"

"I guess even if I lived here, there's still a chance I'll miss out on some milestone."

She saw his eyes redden and she couldn't help but begin to cry. She dabbed at her eyes and wept, "I wish this was easier for you."

"It could be."

He wrapped his open arm around Ness's shoulder and pulled her close. She nuzzled her face against his chest as her tears fell.

It was like this each time he left but it was nice to see that his departure upset him as much as it upset her. Every time he left, she felt sick, like there wasn't just a hole in her heart but the pit in her stomach was hollow. It was as if she had been deboned and she's turned to a weird skin bag full of organs. It hurt so much because neither were ever positive of the next time they would see one another next.

She turned to Sarah Kai and wondered how they'd survive without Jacob for another week or two. She didn't know if it were possible. She placed her arms around his waist, wishing they had more time together.

After a few mintues, he said, "I have to go."

"I know, I know," she cried with a throbbing head and an aching stomach.

He handed Sarah Kai over saying, "Soon, we'll figure things out soon. I Love you."

"Love you."

Jacob kissed her one last time. He cupped Ness's cheeks and when his lips met hers she felt passion. She was extremely thankful Sarah Kai was behaving as Jacob slid his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues caressed one another for sometime. When he knew she had stopped crying, he pulled away.

He hated to see her in hysterics as he left. And kissing her was a sure way to put a stop to the waterworks.

He began peppering kisses on her neck. Between each kiss a word left his mouth. " Is. There. Anything. You. Need?"

"Yeah," she breathed, " come here." She readjusted Sarai on her hip and went back into the house. He followed her into the house, slightly confused as she directed Jacob into the bathroom. She left Sarai in her crib and entered the bathroom. Frantically she dug through the cabinets searching.

"What are you doing?"

She found the condom and tossed it to Jacob. "You're fucking me one more time before you leave."

Who could argue with that kind of forwardness? He didn't have time to question her or talk about it. He simply gave her the best he could in the short amount of time he had left.

Once they finished, Ness slid her pants on and retrieved Sarai. Not expecting to be sore after a last minute quicky, Ness walked Jacob to the front door. Actually, it was more of a waddle .

"You'll be alright?"

" I'll be fine. I've been fine." She offered a sheepish smile. "I'm a big girl."

"Can you just meet me halfway for once?"

With a frown, she readjusted the baby on her hip. "What are you talking about?"

" For once take the help I offer you without any refusal…No one ever choked from swallowing their pride Ness. I love you both. I'll see you real soon Kai-Kai."

He gave his girls one last kiss before giving his goodbyes and driving away.

Collapsing on the couch, Rensmee was a bit clouded. Who _would_ be able to think straight after what Jacob had just done to her?

It wasn't until later, that she understood, when she found a check for three hundred dollars, pinned to the fridge by a magnet.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Oi! I'm back. Sorry for the delay, but ya'll know what writer's block is, right? Plus it's summer, I've been busy. Also, I've re-written this chapter about three times, each one no better than the last. It was time I just said, fuck it and post. SO I'm seriously sorry but, it's total shit. This chapter is much more about the dialogue rather than the actions. And I hope you recognize that Ness has a guilt complex. All REAL reviews, get REAL previews. And I'm sorry for no acknowledgements this time. I just wanted to hurry and post. MUCH LOVE & HAPPY READING!

Special shout out to BeyondWhatIsTold Thanks -really- for everything!


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